Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Adam Scott, Matt Besser, Monika Smith, Toni Charline
Episode Date: September 5, 2022Severance star Adam Scott joins Scott for a pre-Emmys check-in as they talk about the making of Severance, his one-of-a-kind tuxedo, and who he will be inviting to the Emmys. Then, Olaf’s Middle Par...t from Frozen stops by to talk about separating himself from Olaf. Later, TikTok star Harvey the Truth Seeker drops by to tap into everyone’s mind to find hidden meanings. Plus, Martha the medium stops by to communicate with the afterlife.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
["Comedy Bang Bang"]
Remember me when you fall down, for I was the one that held you in my arms.
Remember me when you take your last breath, for I was the one that held you too tightly in my arms.
Actually, forget me, for I am the one that does not want to go to prison.
Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang!
What are you checking your watch for?
That was too long?
It was just vibrated.
And that was an incredibly long intro.
Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang!
For another week, thank you to...
Joke Redacted for that wonderful catchphrase submission.
And welcome to the show.
We have a great one coming up a little later.
We have a mythical...
No, an animated feature star.
Star of an animated feature.
We have a TikTok star.
Ooh, and a medium.
A medium, wow.
Indeed.
I've noticed that with these Apple Watches,
people are always checking their wrist because they got messages,
but it just looks like they're impatient with what you're doing.
That's exactly right.
So it could be both.
Which one was it?
The news alert from Vulture,
telling me that there's a new...
You got a Google alert, a new interview with you.
That's right, because I only get Google alerts about myself.
Just in quotes, Adam Scott interview.
That's right.
In quotes.
Are there any new ones of me?
I need to learn more about myself.
That's right.
That and I want to get the fuck out of here.
Oh, okay, great.
So both.
All right, well, let's get to it.
He is our guest of honor.
The...
A little show.
He's the star of a lot of shows,
but he's going to be a major star on an upcoming show
one week from tonight.
Something called the Emmys.
Oh, have you heard of it?
Oh, well, of course I've heard of it.
I myself have been feted.
You have...
How many Emmys do you have?
I have two.
Two Emmy awards.
Yes, you'd need to win two in order to catch up with me.
To equal you, yes, I would.
He is the star of severance.
He is the co-star of Parks and Recreation.
He is...
Do you consider yourself an ensemble player
in Party Down?
Yes, I do.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, I do.
He is also my co-host in the podcasts.
You talking you too to me?
Are you talking REM me?
Are you talking RHCP REM me?
And also...
Are you talking talking...
Aren't you talking talking heads to my talking heads?
Yes, I think so.
Yes, okay.
Please welcome Adam Scott.
Hello.
Hi, Scott.
Hi, how are you?
How are you doing?
You trying to go quieter than me?
It's just this new thing I'm trying out right now
for the next 10 seconds.
I like it.
But now it's over.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, we ended that a little prematurely.
10 seconds.
Wow.
It's so good to see you.
We have never done a pre-Emmys check-in before.
Never.
I can't believe we've never done a pre-Emmys check-in.
I know.
All those times.
It's so weird.
This is what, the 85th or something?
We've never done one.
It's the 85th Emmys.
It's the...
What?
83rd Emmys.
We've been friends for...
During.
And every year we say to each other,
should we do a pre-Emmys check-in this year?
Some would consider that to be the pre-Emmys check-in.
Right.
Us checking in before the Emmys about whether we should do one or not.
But no.
There are two totally different things.
It turns out it doesn't count and we need to do it on air
and turn it into what, like, half hour of content.
Yeah, exactly.
So do you promise to do this every year from now on?
Oh, 100%.
As long as we're doing this now.
I mean, I can't believe.
Regardless of if you're nominated or not,
we need to do a pre-Emmys check-in.
Of course.
Even more importantly, if neither of us are nominated.
Sure, yeah.
And what do we do during the check-in again?
Do we make predictions?
Do we get directions?
What do we make predictions about what people are going to wear?
Okay.
Pants.
About the weather.
Okay, got it.
On the day of the Emmys.
On the actual day of?
Yeah.
We look up the weather.
Okay, let me see what I've got.
And then predict based on that forecast.
Okay, let's see what we've got here.
It's Monday.
Monday, September 12th, I believe.
Yeah, I don't have it that far out at this point.
But if it's trend, it looks to be trending downward?
Well, no.
It's in the 90s the week before.
A hundred.
Oh, full week before.
I don't know.
I'm just going to make this prediction.
If it's as hot as it's been, those tuxedos,
be a little hot under the collar.
It's going to be toasty in there.
It's going to be like making broth or a soup or?
Sure, yeah.
No, it's still.
Inside the tuxedos.
In the tuxedos, the beef stew.
And it'll be boiling.
And it'll be delicious.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, carrots.
Carrots, onions, chunks of meat.
Yes, we put it in the suit.
And then I say broccoli.
I'm too nervous.
You don't eat broccoli in your beef stew.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Goddamn fucking moron.
You are, of course, nominated for the show I mentioned earlier,
Severance, and explain the show for a guy like me
who has actively not ever watched a single episode.
Sure.
This is a show that's called Severance.
Got it.
Okay, that's the title.
Got it.
And you play Jimmy B?
I play Sev Severance.
And the show is about?
Is that a nickname, Sev?
Well, people call me Sev.
Okay, but the name is Sev.
Right, okay, but people call you Sev.
Yeah, because there's a unique nickname.
It needs to be longer.
Just to, you know, when you're writing a show,
when you're coming up with a show,
Dan Erickson is the creator of the show
and kind of writes most of it.
But really, you wrote most of it.
I'm not going to say that, but yeah, of course.
No, Dan Erickson conceived of, created,
and writes the show.
And then passed it on to you.
And then passed it to me, and I write everything.
But really, it's Dan.
But really, it's Dan, yeah.
He's the guy who sits down at the typewriter
or the computer.
That's exactly right.
Final draft, maybe.
Word processor.
Yeah, any of the above machines.
He sits down originally, and then he just like...
He sits down at a giant machine.
Right.
And when you're conceiving of and writing
an hour-long show.
Before he gives it to you.
Before he gives it, hands it over to me
to actually write it.
What you're fundamentally trying to do is eat up time.
That's right.
Because an hour show needs to have
approximately 59, 61 minutes of content
and 59 to what?
300 minutes.
Sure.
Anywhere in that range is good.
Yes, exactly.
In that amount of time,
you want to take up as much time as possible.
So if you're doing 300 minutes,
you want to really do 400.
You need 400 minutes packed into that 300.
Yeah, exactly.
So after you expand it out of the...
What's the thing you sent?
You email.
What are you talking about?
You're doing it.
You're miming something.
You're miming...
Nevermind.
You're miming like a magic trick right now.
Almost.
What I'm saying is you want to take up time.
So a name like Sev, you want to take up time.
So you extend it and make sure that it's to Sev.
Because that will take up approximately...
Listen, it adds up.
People are calling you by your first name
probably every line, right?
Why are you shaking your fucking watch again?
Someone at the door at my house.
Who cares?
I do.
Take your watch off.
Take it off.
I want to see those bare wrists.
Adam Scott, the barest wrists.
Get your nose out of it.
It's on the table.
Yeah, so...
Because if I said to say,
a show is written and then it's extended
after you figure out how to make the names longer.
Yeah, that's how you fill an hour.
Also, you should try to say
every character's name at the beginning and end of each line.
Every sentence.
Like, hey, Sevvie.
Hey, Sevvie, will you come over here
and grab that piece of paper?
Sevvie?
Sevron.
And then you make it even longer.
Sevron, really?
Is that season two?
No spoilers.
But yeah.
Wow, Sevron.
Sevron.
Congrats, buddy.
This is incredible.
Do you know what song is going to be played
if you happen to win the Emmy?
Do you know what...
Because everyone gets to request it.
It's like a baseball game, right?
Where you get to request what song goes up.
Yeah, you take...
And it's interesting you say that
because mine is Take Me Out to the Ballgame.
Interesting.
Yeah.
So Adam Scott for Severins.
Da, da, da, da, da, da.
And the whole audience is going to stand up
and sing along.
That's right.
That's right.
Amazing, wow.
And now just to be clear, because I saw you,
you've gotten a few messages about this recently.
Our agreement regarding your speech,
if you win an award, only pertain to the Oscars.
Only the Oscars and I have heard about this quite a bit
in the last couple of months.
And if you do win an Oscar,
what exactly are you going to be saying
up there on stage?
That's a really good question, but I know that...
You promised.
I promised that...
I don't remember what I would say,
but the thing that I've been reminded of several times
is that I take the award and stick it up my butt.
No, that's what you said you would say on stage.
I'm going to stick this up my butt.
Thanks to the Academy.
I'm going to stick this up my butt
and then stick it up my butt.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, if you do it or not...
Is that the agreement?
That's the agreement.
Is that you would say it?
Oh, but there is no...
There's no actual physical agreement that we made.
That was understood, I think.
Well, that's a relief.
Not that I'm any closer now
than I was at the time of the agreement.
Although you are in Madam Webb coming out very soon.
That's true.
Madam Webb, she spins webs any size.
We just saw you in Boston on the tour.
Yeah, that was fun.
That was a fun night.
That was so fun.
Thank you so much for dropping by.
There's a live audience right there in front of us.
Yeah, we just had to do with a live audience.
Yeah.
When did you get back from that tour?
Less than 24 hours ago.
So 23 hours?
23 hours, 15 minutes.
Wow.
So you just got back, right?
Yeah.
And 24 hours ago.
Oh, okay.
So now it's been 24 hours.
Yeah, it's been 24 hours.
How does it feel to be back for 24 hours?
Oh, man, it feels so good.
I packed so much in.
I went laser tag.
I surfed in the morning and I went skiing at night.
Okay.
And you packed all of that into this last 24 hours.
Yeah, that's the great part about living in California.
Yeah, you can do everything.
You can ski and surf all in the same day.
You can parachute jump.
You can parachute jump any day.
Yeah.
I'm talking about a day in Los Angeles.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
You can go star in a movie and then you can also, what else?
Win the lottery.
Win the lottery.
Yeah.
Everyone in California wins the lottery eventually.
Yeah.
I don't know why more people don't move here.
It's crazy because every time someone wins the lottery here, it's like $2 billion.
Yeah, something like that.
Now, every ticket costs $3 billion.
$3 billion.
Yeah, so it's a total fucking rip-off.
It's a sham, but it works for us.
We're Californians.
We're Californians.
We don't know any better.
We love it here.
This is what we do.
You're, of course, the boy from Santa Cruz who started out hawking taffy and now you are
going to be up there in the shiniest tuxedo we've ever seen hoping to win one of those
golden, golden statues.
It's a tuxedo made of mirrors.
That's right.
Now, you were telling me before the show it's the original disco ball from Saturday Night
Fever that they turned into a tuxedo.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Incredible.
Yeah.
I got in touch with John Badham and I was calling him about stakeout because that's one of my
favorite movies and then we got to talking and it turns out he directed Saturday Night
Fever.
I had no idea at that point.
You were just interested in stakeout.
But I was calling about another stakeout.
So how did this come up?
How did Saturday Night Fever come up in this conversation?
Because I was listening to disco music while I was on the phone with him.
Oh, and was it Saturday night actually?
It was Saturday night.
I had a fever.
Yeah.
Did you have COVID?
I didn't have COVID.
No.
Oh, okay.
Which is lucky because I am not vaccinated.
Oh, okay.
Good.
Nor will you ever be, right?
Absolutely not.
But how I was your fever, like 160?
It was 112, which I hear is high.
That's too high, probably.
You want to get that down?
It was fine.
Yeah.
And so that just came up, hey, speaking of, you said Saturday, you said it's night because
you were talking about the movie and I'm listening to disco music.
Right.
He's like, I happened to direct something where all of these interests converge.
That's right.
A little movie called Saturday Night Fever.
Being the disco dancing devil.
Mr. John Travolta.
Mr. John Travolta.
Yeah.
And what did you say to that?
I said, do you still have the disco ball from that movie?
And he said, yeah.
And then I hung up on him because I was like, this conversation is going nowhere.
But then a few days later, I was like, what if we take that disco ball and construct a
tuxedo primarily out of the mirrors?
Did you have to call him back or?
I called him back.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
And did he send it to you, COD?
Or how did you get this?
It ended up being this kind of protracted negotiation that went on for a while.
Oh, okay.
Because he did not want to let it go.
Well, sure.
But where did he keep it?
Was it like in his living room or?
He has a Saturday Night Fever room.
Oh, okay.
In his, on his estate.
And it's beautiful.
It has everything from the movie that you would ever want.
Like what?
The disco ball.
Sure.
From the movie.
Anything else?
It was great.
He has John Travolta's shoes from the main dance from the movie.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
How are they looking?
A little scuffed up or?
They're scuffed up, but they're kept in a kind of acetate case.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's great.
They look great.
Are those the only two things?
The one disco ball, not in a case hanging down from the ceiling.
Hanging from the ceiling and then a pair of shoes in an acetate kind of thing.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's completely empty.
And how?
Okay.
Wow.
It's a huge room too.
It's like two football fields.
It calls it the Saturday Night Fever.
Two football fields.
This is the Saturday Night Fever room.
That's about 600 feet.
Well, it's certainly 200 yards.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, so, so, I mean, he only has two of those feet in the two shoes.
Two shoes.
And if you, if you, John Travolta actually uses three shoes.
Oh, he does?
Yeah.
He favors his right side.
No wonder he could dance so well.
That's right.
So you always have a spare right shoe at the ready because, you know, because he's always
stamping them.
Yeah.
Incredibly well.
Yeah.
Well, that's great.
Thanks.
And of course, Olivia Newton-Chon is no longer with us.
That's true.
She was not in that movie.
No.
No.
But she knew John Travolta.
They're good friends.
They're very good friends.
Yeah.
It's super sad.
So sad.
But we all have to go sometime.
Are you okay?
I know.
You've only been in town for 24 hours.
I got all my entertainment news right when I landed the plane.
Yeah.
Oh, so you flew yourself?
Yeah.
You fly your own.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
You and John Travolta.
Yep.
We both heard about it the minute he was in the plane with me.
Oh, God.
And we both heard about Olivia Newton-Chon the second that I landed the plane.
He was my co-pilot.
Oh.
You guys didn't hear about it until today?
We didn't hear about it.
Until 24 hours and four minutes ago.
No.
And we're so sad.
No wonder you're broken up.
Sorry.
Anyway, but so the Emmys, obviously the countdown to the Emmys is underway and seven days hence.
That's right.
And do you get to invite your entire family?
Are you flying solo?
What are you doing?
Yeah.
I want to give you one ticket, but that one ticket, you can, as far as I understand it,
you can bring like 40 people.
Wow.
So they're just-
That's just what I'm guessing.
You're plus 40.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
I'm bringing 39 people.
Right, right.
Who you got?
Who's coming?
I don't know.
I haven't even started thinking about it yet.
No.
There's a guy right here right in front of you.
Would you like to go?
I'd love to go.
Yeah.
Do you know 38 more people that might-
I know.
Let's see if I can count how many people I know.
There's Froderick.
Oh, Froderick.
He can come.
Okay.
Yeah, that's one.
Or she.
Or they.
They.
Fine.
Welcome to the-
Sorry.
21st fucking century.
Sorry.
Froderick.
They can come.
How many was that?
Well, it's me, you, right?
So that's two.
Yeah.
And there's a 40 people total.
Right.
I'm assuming.
How many do I mention?
At this point?
You said Froderick.
And you said they could come.
So that's, they're available.
Right.
And then that leaves 47.
47 more people.
37, I think.
37?
Yeah.
You're going the other way.
You're going up.
Yeah.
Sorry.
That is spam risk, apparently.
Oh, my friend's spam risk is trying to-
Well, answer because he might want to come.
Let me see here.
Mr. Risk.
Hello.
How you doing?
Hey, Adam.
I already had extra tickets for the, for them.
You got extra tickets?
No, I heard you got extra tickets.
Dumb shit.
Oh, sorry.
Yes.
I'm a buoy.
I have, let's see.
Well, right now-
How many you got?
I got, it's Scott, myself, Froderick.
They're coming?
Froderick's coming.
Nice.
So that leaves 37 more people.
How many do you need?
I know probably 36 guys named Bill.
36 guys named Bill?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Great to talk to you, spam.
Hey, why did you put the phone down?
Pick it back up.
Sorry.
I thought the call was over.
I got a camera on you right now.
Shit.
There's a camera there?
There's a camera there?
There's a camera there?
Yeah.
Hidden camera show.
Mr. Risk, you are always getting me.
You're always getting the best of me.
Call me, spam.
Call me, spam.
I love you.
You have the best prank show on the internet.
I really do.
Hey.
Will you come over later?
What for?
I'm having a birthday party.
You're having a birthday party?
It's your birthday?
No.
Oh, is that one of your pranks?
It's Bill number 13's.
Oh, okay.
Bill 13, all right.
Yeah.
Bill 13's having a birthday.
Would you come over?
Sure, I'll come over.
Won't you meet all the bills before we go to the Emmys?
That'd be great.
Are they all over your place?
Yeah.
I can't wait.
Come on by.
Okay.
It's one.
You getting this?
You writing this down?
One.
You getting this?
One.
Okay.
Two.
You getting this?
Okay.
Are you writing this down?
Yeah, I'm writing it down.
Wait, let me start over.
One.
One.
Two.
Two.
You getting this?
Yeah, I'm getting it.
Okay.
Bill, where are you from?
Where do you think I'm from?
I don't know.
It sounds like you might be from like...
Your mama's pussy.
Oh, god damn it.
He's hilarious.
He's so fun.
He's so fun, but I think that takes care of our problem.
So I'll see you on Monday.
We've spent all of the tickets.
All the tickets.
So that's great.
Full up.
Oh shit, what about your family?
Well, they have a TV, so I'm assuming they can just watch.
Do you bought a TV?
I have a TV now, yeah.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
It's really small.
Oh.
Wait, are you just talking about your phone?
My phone, yeah.
This is a TV.
Do you recommend everyone watch Severance on their phones?
I think it's the best way to experience it.
100%.
Because it's great.
Yeah.
Best, like while you're driving.
Yeah, of course.
Watch it on your phone.
Of course, of course.
Yeah.
Because it's fun to watch TV on something that's been so close to your penis.
It's great to watch something that's been close to your penis, and it's great to watch
something on something that's like scratched up and might have cracks in it.
Exactly.
Well, good luck to you, Adam.
This is an incredible achievement.
This is your first nom.
My first nom.
And first of many, I hope.
Yes.
Many hamburgers to you, of course.
Thank you.
Many hamburgers to you.
Yes.
And we need to get to our next guest.
Oh, I can't wait.
Yeah, that's great.
Does that cover everything about the Emmys that we wanted to talk about?
I think so, yeah.
Okay, great.
All right, well, let's get to our next guest.
I mentioned that we have an animated character on the show.
That's exciting.
Yeah, who's your favorite animated character?
Oh, boy.
This is incredible.
Am I right?
Oh, she's great.
She's great.
Wait, what are you saying?
Exactly.
You know what I'm saying.
I don't know.
I don't know if I'm comfortable with that.
She is very animated.
Hot stuff?
Is that what you're saying?
Huh?
Are you trying to say that she's hot stuff?
She stretches around?
She saves people?
Yeah.
In need?
Okay, because it sounded...
Man.
Stop putting words on it.
Stop trying to get me canceled.
What does that mean?
What does what mean?
When you go, oh, man.
What does that mean?
It means that I have a sincere admiration for her.
Oh, okay, great.
Yeah.
The same way...
The brotherly love.
The same way that I love you.
So you say that about me as well.
Yeah, of course.
How about...
I think my favorite animated character, Jiminy Cricket.
Oh, when you wish upon a star, he's great.
He's just a little grasshopper, and he has so much to say.
So much wisdom in such a tiny, tiny body.
Little guy.
Little guy, but a big heart.
Huge.
Almost too big.
Almost like...
It's a condition.
It is too big.
Yeah.
He might die soon.
Yeah, I think he's going to pass.
Yeah.
Well, we have a great animated character here coming up.
First time on the show, let's welcome him.
This is Olaf's middle part.
I think very much, Scott, for giving me this opportunity.
Hi.
Yeah, hi.
It's great to see you.
This is Adam Scott of Severance.
Hi.
Mr. Scott as well.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Scott.
Scott and Scott.
Yes.
That's funny, right?
First off, I should say, I am Olaf's middle part.
I am not the funny head.
People think that I have a light, the whimsical, you know.
Yeah, sorry.
I feel silly since you were at the Olaf house.
I'm not Olaf.
Yeah, when I booked you on the show, I heard Olaf from Frozen was going to be on the show.
I assumed it was that whimsical.
He's so funny.
He's like, ah, help me.
He's hilarious.
What does he say all the time?
Get out of my way.
Get out.
Yeah.
Hey, you're in my way too much.
Get away.
Try to be me.
I do not recall that catchphrase.
But he says dynamite.
Dynamite.
Of course.
Yeah, that's super funny.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
But yeah, he has a different.
I'm not a fan of Olaf's personally.
Really?
Yeah.
Aren't you a part of Olaf?
Is that all?
Is that what you are?
I am the middle snowball.
The torso.
You can call me Thor or Oomph.
Oomph.
Middle part.
Oomph.
Olaf's middle part.
Wouldn't that be La?
Because Olaf, the LA is the middle part of Olaf.
I'm the middle part of the body.
Are you making a joke?
Because I am not enough.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
We apologize.
Olaf's middle part.
I apologize for Scott.
And I apologize for Scott.
And I had nothing to do with that joke.
Yes.
You wrote it.
I mean, I wrote it.
Before the show.
Yes.
You prepared to insult me before the show.
I mean, we brainstormed some stuff we might say.
Just things to rib you with.
The way it came out of Scott's stupid reading,
it ended up sounding like an insult.
I'm sorry.
How would you have said it?
I would have said it exactly right.
And it would have been gentle.
It would have been funny.
It would have been good-natured.
Okay.
I understand.
You were like Olaf.
Your types are always on.
You're always on.
I get that.
I mean...
But I want to come on yourself, Scott, to be honest,
to separate myself from Olaf
and let people know that we, snowmen,
we are three different parts.
It looks like you've already separated yourself already.
I mean, how did you get a...
Literally, yes.
Yeah, how did you get away from the top part
and the bottom part?
Well, that happens quite frequently.
You've seen the Frozen movies.
A lot of the big laughs come from Olaf.
He runs into a tree, a pole,
and we separate in three parts.
And I'm blind at that moment.
Oh, you only have a visual sense of a sight
when you are physically tethered to the top part?
Yes.
I can...
My arms are like antennae,
so I can sense people around and see things that way,
but not like Olaf's eyes.
Right.
If you can understand it that way.
Yeah, I think so.
And those moments of separating
were always great moments of fear for me.
I mean, we as an audience are always laughing at them.
Yes.
But it's scary for you.
For the bottom part and the middle part,
it is disconcerting to say the least.
Yeah.
It's a moment to imagine yourself
being separated into three parts.
I mean, all those parts having their own essence
and becoming their own entities at that moment.
I never thought of it that way.
Yeah, I guess if you were to...
Sounds scary.
Like cut Adam off right beneath the titties
and then maybe at the knees.
Is that the ratio usually?
I think it would be...
Did you say beneath the titties?
Yeah.
I think above the titties.
Above the titties?
Oh, is it just head or...?
Well, my arms are kind of where your stomach is,
so it's not analog here,
but my arms come out of my stomach
or as yours come out of your shoulders.
That's right.
The arms are quite...
It's just a perfect circle.
Are those made of twigs again?
Or are they...
I can't remember.
They're pieces of wood.
Pieces of wood?
Yes.
They're both pieces.
They're not just mere twigs, no.
Oh, okay.
They're pieces of wood.
And are those pieces of wood another part of Olaf?
Do they have their own...
Like, could they be separated?
If you've seen the movies many times,
I'll have an arm ripped out of my torso.
And that is also done for laughs, by the way.
Is it painful, though?
Yes, of course it is.
Of course it is.
I can only imagine ripping one of my arms off.
Can you?
I mean, I can't really.
Because you don't have Elsa's magic to repair it later.
That's right.
Yeah.
I rely on Elsa's magic.
Most no men rely on magic
or the love of children to stay whole.
Is she...
I mean, the further you get away from Elsa,
is the magic fade or...?
No, she has a permanent cloud above me that flutters snow.
But if I...
I can still die.
Oh.
Of old age?
Or of what?
No, you idiot.
Of old age.
So you can't die of old age?
No, I melt.
That's the only way to kill you?
Have you not...?
I've never heard of any snowman dying of old age.
It's always melting.
It's always a brutal quick...
There's no cancer?
No, that's the...
Like a little piece of coal or whatever that is inside
one of the snowballs?
The worst thing that can happen to a snowman
is to be pissed on by a gang.
A gang?
Good lord.
A gang piss is the most brutal way for a snowman to die.
Just jets of piss going through your heart, imagine that.
Sounds terrible.
Yeah.
Well, God willing, that won't happen to you, but...
But I have elses to repair that if that ever happens.
If a lumberjack accidentally pisses on me, I give Elsa a call.
You have to give her a go, really.
So it doesn't automatically do it.
You have to physically...
No, no, no.
I have to call her.
She's busy, but you know, she's a nice woman.
I like her.
I don't like Olaf.
Yeah, so Olaf...
You consider Olaf to be the head?
He is the head.
He's an asshole, too.
He's an asshole.
That's a joke, see?
Yeah.
What about the bottom?
Are you...
It's funny.
Yeah, it's ish.
That's funny.
He's the head, but he's an asshole.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
What about the bottom part?
That part?
Well, this is interesting.
There's been many bottoms to our entity.
I've been the only torso, and of course Olaf has been the main head.
There's been about 20 bottoms.
20 bottoms?
Were there other heads?
Like drummers.
There was an early head.
You say the main head.
There was an early head in draft, but there was never used.
So, yes, it's been...
It's just an early draft.
Olaf, the head, Olaf, the head, the main torso, and the many bottoms.
Bottoms, you don't remember many scenes, which is the bottom.
Right, yeah, they come and go.
I can only imagine.
But the head is really the star, the moneymaker.
I disagree.
Okay.
I think a lot of emotion is in gesticulation of arms.
Any Jewish actor would tell you that.
I guess, yeah.
Adam, should we be watching severance to see your arm acting?
Or are you a hands-in-pockets guy, mainly, when you're acting?
I try and find as many opportunities as possible to just stick those suckers right in the pockets.
You don't have to worry about that.
We don't have to worry about that.
That's the thing.
Anytime a camera's on me, I'm so self-conscious.
Just got to stick them right in there.
If I don't have pockets, I go right into the pants.
Seinfeld suggested drinking coffee, always sipping from a coffee.
Is that why they set that at the coffee shop?
Yes.
Oh, man.
Cheaters.
Again, Phil's time.
Yeah, that's true.
I tried it on a few takes and spilled coffee on myself and melted myself in half, so that's not good.
I would imagine that the success of Frozen has changed your life.
Are you recognized on the street?
Never.
Not unless I'm with Olaf.
Yeah, he is.
This is annoying.
Yeah.
This is embarrassing, but I'll tell the story.
I was in love.
I had a crush on a sample slushie at a hot dog cart, and I wasn't even sure if it was real,
but I saw it every day.
It was a sample that they never gave away.
I think it might have been made of plastic.
Oh, God.
It smelled like old cheese.
But you loved her.
I loved her.
I saw her, and I never could work up the competence to say anything, and one day I did.
I went up to the cart, and when the cart wasn't looking, I talked to the smoothie sample,
and I said, hello, you look lovely today.
And they glistened in the sun.
You didn't say anything.
And then I said, you recognize me.
Nothing.
Nothing.
But to be fair, did the samples slushie ever say anything?
No.
Ignored me the entire time.
This goes to me every time I came back as well.
So it might not have been actually alive, per se.
That is true.
But there's a lot of ice that doesn't have magical powers that can't talk or walk around,
so I give them a break.
Yeah, that's got to be tough to, I mean, you're the only one of your kind in a way,
the only one of your race.
That's not true.
Oh, really?
There are other, I mean, there's-
There's many magical snowmen.
Frosty.
Oh, yeah, Frosty, all his kids.
Frosty's kids.
Yes.
Oh, yeah, the snowman.
Yeah, Mr. Police.
I gave you all the clues.
Well, what?
The movie, The Snowman, right?
No, the book by Raymond Briggs, The Snowman.
Oh, I don't read books.
Or are you talking about the Michael Fassbender movie, The Snowman?
Of course.
Of course, sorry.
It's crazy that I-
A lot of the snowmen go to that movie and are very disappointed.
Speaking to someone with a big hog who if he pissed on you,
you wouldn't need a gang in that situation.
Go ahead.
Speak of it.
Is he one of snowmen's biggest fears with Michael Fassbender?
I mean, when that movie was announced, I'm sure all snowmen were so scared.
Someone with such a huge hog.
Yes, we do not like penises of any kind, especially a horse penis.
Oh, yeah.
That's got to be scary.
So-
Why did you look at Mr. Scott when you said that?
Wait, maybe it's just-
I guess just-
But you didn't look-
It seemed weird.
Yeah, I mean-
He looked knowingly at him.
You mentioned horse penises.
That must be scary.
I automatically look over at him.
And I know he's looking at me in that moment.
I'm sick of it.
So there's plenty of opportunity for you to date.
There's all of Frosty's kids.
Frosty's kids.
I do not need magical.
That's my point.
I can date an icicle if it has a nice form.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah, you don't-
I mean, even if they don't talk and they're not alive.
Yes.
I think humans are the same way.
Yeah, I mean, like, you know-
Trophy wives, it's the same.
You don't mean actual trophies,
because Adam's about to win one.
I wanted the fucking trophy.
I understand.
I empathize.
If I had a icicle in the shape of an Oscar,
I would be into that.
That would be cool.
An icicle in the shape of an Oscar,
that would be really cool, wouldn't it?
I wonder if they've thought of that yet at an after party.
I don't think so.
Probably not.
We should copyright it.
So what's going on?
Why are you in LA?
Do you mind us asking?
Well, I'm always auditioning, but-
Without Olaf?
Yes.
I do not need Olaf.
But does Olaf need you?
Does Olaf get parts without you guys?
Well, I'm thinking Olaf probably doesn't even need
to audition anymore.
Yeah, Olaf's Olaf or only.
That was a good one.
I do like-
You do like-
I do like puns.
I have to give it up for that one.
Very good.
So you're-
Slamming a lot of puns like that.
Yeah.
So you're just auditioning out there.
What kind of roles are you auditioning for?
Well, I did get in the new season of the Mandalorian,
there's a scene I'm in where Grogu
uses the force to throw a chunk of ice,
which is me.
Oh, wow.
At Darth Vader.
At Darth Vader?
Grogu goes up against Darth Vader in the new season.
That's all.
This is the biggest news spoiler.
This is a huge fucking spoiler.
I probably shouldn't be speaking all these plot points,
but yes.
That is, I mean, that's a matchup right there.
Who would come out on time?
I don't know.
Grogu's very powerful.
Grogu is so powerful, but Darth Vader?
He's no slouch.
It's a lighthearted, but tense scene at this time.
Lighthearted?
But tense.
Well, Grogu's in it.
That makes it lighthearted.
It's a snowball fight of sorts, but it's Darth Vader.
So does Darth Vader get like a snowball to the face
and goes, oh.
Yes, it's very, think about a snowball hitting
that black helmet.
I would think she would not want to be in a snowball fight
with Darth Vader.
That sounds really scary.
Yeah.
It was.
So wait, did you?
Imagine being the snowball.
Did you book it?
I did.
I was the chunk of ice.
You were the chunk of ice.
Wow, congratulations.
Thank you.
That's incredible.
I said wooden arms in it.
So like waving as I slammed into his head.
So Darth Vader gets Olaf's middle part right to the face
with arms waving as it hits him in the head.
These are huge Mandalorian spoilers right now.
I'm sorry.
You might need to edit out some of this stuff.
Okay.
I speak freely.
Devin is our editing machine still broken?
Oh, shit.
Well, I don't know that we can, but did you sign an NDA or?
What?
I guess not.
Wow.
There must have been a fun day on set though.
Getting to work with Darth Vader and Grogu.
Yeah.
Don't call him baby Yoda.
Oh boy.
Oh man.
Oh boy.
What happens?
He starts cursing like a sailor.
Really?
Like a sailor with a dirty mouth?
No, like a polite sailor.
Okay.
He still is a nice boy.
He says darn.
Oh, okay.
And nautical terms.
Wow.
Darn Starbird.
Aft.
Well, this, I mean, congrats.
That's really good.
Thank you.
I'm glad that you're branching out.
I mean, no pun intended with your arms branching.
I did not get that one.
Yeah.
I had to point that one out.
Yeah.
Sorry.
That's all right.
Yeah.
But the Hollywood types that listen to this, if you have a snow scene, a Christmas special,
any place that there might be ice or snow.
I knew the new house of dragons.
I bet there will be, I bet winter is coming.
Yeah.
There's, yeah.
There's a lot of winter in that type of show.
Yeah.
I wish I'd known you before because season one of Severance, it took place in the winter
time.
There is a lot of snow and ice around.
But wait, season two is out in the summer.
Well, no spoilers.
So I'm not sure if we would need you or not, but I'm happy to know.
Does it take place on the hottest day of the year?
No spoilers, but it's kind of an interesting thing you just said there, Scott.
Really?
The name of your show is Severance?
Severance, yeah.
All right.
It's a newer show.
That's the name of my autobiography about separating from Olaf's head.
Oh, well, okay.
Well, there's, I mean, there's probably not a lot of crossover audience there.
I don't understand.
You know, I mean, there are the people, people who can afford Apple TV plus, you know, the
richest of the rich, the 1% of the 1%.
And then our show has a huge audience of three to five year olds.
Really?
Yeah.
And what do they love about it?
The concepts?
I think just kind of how stark and serious it can be.
Okay.
I've had people from Apple contact to my people saying they have trademarked the word Severance.
And I don't think that is fair or possible.
You can't trademark a word.
Yeah.
Not sure.
I feel like maybe it could be confusing if you use that title for your book.
It's just a word though.
It's like saying, owning the word Apple.
Right.
But is it, well, I mean, the Beatles suit Apple, but is your book, it just says Severance.
And then there's not a picture of Adam on the cover.
Is there?
No.
This Adam?
No.
Yeah.
Okay.
Is there another Adam that's on the cover?
There's an atom.
What do you mean by that?
There's a picture of an atom.
Just a picture of an atom?
Yes.
Why is anyone going to buy this book?
I don't understand.
It's called Severance.
And it has a picture of an atom.
And then the subtitle is How I Separate From Olaf's Head.
I don't know.
This is too confusing.
It sells itself, but when you're saying it back to me.
Okay.
I don't know.
Well, look, Olaf's middle part, can you stick?
Well, I can't look, but okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
You can feel though with your antennae.
Yes.
You can stick around.
We have to take a break right now, but we have several other guests.
I would love to get your insight into them.
Is that okay?
Please.
That would be fun.
Okay.
And Adam, you can stick around, obviously.
Of course.
Of course.
You have nothing better to do.
Of course.
No, I don't.
Okay.
Great.
Well, we're going to come right back.
We have a TikTok star and we have a medium.
This is a packed show.
Special Emmy special here.
Countdown to the Emmys.
Pre-check into the Emmys.
We'll be right back with more comedy.
We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.
Comedy bang bang.
We're back.
We have Adam Scott of the Veronica Mars show is here where he played a creepy teacher
based on his real life.
And that was interesting where they like basically ripped from the headlines, right?
Yeah.
They just asked me about the average day of mine, being a creepy teacher.
Yeah.
And then they just wrote up everything you said, wrote it up, and then used real footage
as well.
How incredible.
And what did you say when you got down?
You said, didn't you say like, gotcha, mister or something?
What was it?
Yeah.
I guess maybe it was that.
Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
Like Olaf's catchphrase.
Get out of my way.
We also have Olaf's middle part here and I saw you taking calls during the break.
Are you, is that your agent or?
Yes, there are some possibilities.
There's a Coke commercial.
Whoa.
He wants to know if I'll have Coke poured on top of me in a giant glass.
In a giant glass?
So that's not really, oh, or from a giant glass.
I'm in the giant glass.
Oh, you're, oh.
And the Coke is poured into the glass.
How do you feel about that?
I don't know.
I want to think about this.
Yeah.
It's different than what I usually do.
I don't feel like that.
Yeah.
Get else on speed dial in case.
Yeah.
The Coke will probably melt me significantly in many takes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, but it sounds like a good opportunity.
Yeah.
That's Hollywood, right?
Jinx.
The showbiz.
You owe me a Coke.
I don't.
He's making him nervous.
Don't mention Coke around him.
Come on.
Come on out.
It's a direct.
The other snow.
Am I right?
The other snow.
What?
Coke.
The other snow.
Oh, oh.
Yeah.
And John Snow.
The other snow.
Cocaine.
Come on.
Get hip.
Got it.
Got it.
Got it.
So you do Coke?
All snow does Coke.
All snow does Coke.
What?
Just to stay awake.
Well, look, we have to get to, speaking of staying awake, we have to get to our next
guest because they've been very nice to stay awake during our entire first segment.
They're a TikTok star.
This is incredible.
Please welcome Harvey the Truthseeker.
Bro.
Bro.
So good you had me on and just good timing, man.
You know what I mean?
Hey.
Yeah, bro.
You're calling me bro?
Is that what you were?
Calling you bro.
Calling you all bro.
You know, we've got to really be thinking about, like, I need to let you in on what's
happening in the world today so that you're included before we get to this fifth dimension
and who knows what happens.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, gee.
This is Adam, by the way, and then we also have Ola's middle part.
Yes.
Yeah.
Great.
Yeah.
What did you say, fifth dimension?
Yeah, like Scott, think about it, right?
What is your name?
Scott Ockerman, right?
Mandalorian is what you were talking about.
Exactly.
Who drove a DeLorean?
Michael J. Fox, when he went back to the future, but into the future, but back in time.
Right.
And then Fox.
Fox Mulder.
Fox Mulder.
Okay.
Back to the X-Files, right?
What's that about?
And files, files not found.
Files not found on your computer because the CIA is hiding them in that MK Ultra jam.
Wow.
That's funny.
So what I'm trying to do is help you out.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, okay.
Harvey, the truth seeker?
Truth seeker.
So you have a TikTok?
You're a TikTok star?
I don't have a TikTok.
I have many in case they try and shadowban me and I pop right back up.
Oh, okay.
But yeah, I have a lot of followers.
It's 1.4 million.
Whoa.
A couple of weeks ago it's gotten down, but it's going to go back up because that's what
time is.
A construct.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Interesting.
So what do you do on your TikTok?
You essentially, you...
I'm letting people know about codes.
Is this what you do?
Yeah.
It's like things that are happening in life that you're not realizing have a deeper meaning.
You know what I mean?
Oh, okay.
And this is like numerology or what?
It's beyond that, man.
It is everything.
There's hidden meanings in everything.
You guys are talking about snow and snowmen, but you're all forgetting about the Canadian
rapper.
Oh, snow.
Who's saying that?
Word him up.
Yeah.
I'm a lyrical dancer.
Word him up.
Excuse me, Mr. Officer.
That's...
Because he doesn't believe in cops.
Yeah, that wasn't snow, but unfortunately, that was Here Come the Hot Step by a different
artist.
But snow is also a Canadian rapper and you pick them up.
He is a Canadian rapper.
Yeah.
That's a sign, right?
It's the same thing, right?
It's the same thing.
Yeah.
Canada, America.
Is there a difference?
That was Enie Camus, who did Here Come the Hot Step.
That's right.
Yeah.
And I can confidently tell you that without looking it up.
Yeah, I did not see you look down, so I appreciate that.
Thank you.
I only looked up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Olaf's middle part also told us snow has two meanings.
There's many meanings.
It does.
What are the...
Wait, I know the two that we mentioned.
There's the...
Cocaine.
That's not the primary meaning.
No, that was the first...
It was?
Yes.
Before they ever even described the...
They saw snow, or like, that looks like cocaine, which is called snow.
Oh, okay.
Wow, you learned something new.
And they got nicknamed cocaine later.
Huh.
Oh, it got...
So it already was cocaine.
Then they called it snow.
Then they nicknamed it cocaine?
Look, I have a brain name made out of ice, but I don't know.
So you have a really interesting TikTok where you talk about the connections that we...
That perhaps remain unseen in the world.
Yeah, it's like we're all sitting at this table right now, but we're really looking
at the table.
You know what I mean?
Is it pine?
And if it is, should we be thinking about that tree and where it came from?
What kind of soil grew in it and back to your mom?
You know?
It's like you make those steps and those connections and I think people are...
This table could be my arms.
It's true.
Yeah, one day.
One day.
Yeah.
Or legs, if you want to just branch out.
Could you put legs on yourself?
Branch out.
Yeah.
Can we stop the branch out toward play?
Could you put legs on and could you put like coal in for eyes and you could have eyes suddenly?
Well, I do have a mouth in my back that you prove.
That's how you hear me.
You haven't noticed that.
Oh, I was wondering.
I was wondering about too.
Yes.
Is that easy?
It looks odd.
I had it surgically put in there by my agent.
Is that good for dating?
To have a mouth in the back?
No.
But you can back into a blow job.
Geez.
I've never had that experience.
I've only walked into one so I'm looking forward to backing into one, you know?
I've only gone forward.
Yeah.
Wow.
Look, I'm trying to tap into your brain, right?
A little tap tap right now.
Okay.
How do we do this?
What do you need from us?
Well, tell me what's on your mind and I'm going to connect it to probably what's going
on in the world that you should already know about.
Oh, okay.
So anything on my mind?
Yeah.
Anything you can think of?
Sure.
I'm thinking of a boat.
A boat, right?
How do you spell boats?
With a B and then Oats.
Mr. Quaker runs that.
Who runs Mr. Quaker?
Big Pharma.
What are we doing?
We're eating Big Pharma.
Stop thinking about boats because you're too drugged up.
Tap tap into that, man.
Interesting.
I mean, I guess I didn't make the leap from Quaker Oats to Big Pharma as easily as you
did, but yeah.
Well, there's a lot of pesticides that they use in America that they don't use anywhere
else.
You know what I'm saying?
Who makes those pesticides?
Big Pharma.
Big Pharma.
Oh, Big Pharma.
It's the same thing, so it doesn't matter.
Same.
They're connected.
Why does he wear a hat in all those photos?
Right.
Got this filled with drugs.
Filled with drugs.
Hide that third eye or else it would just pour right out of him, you know?
Did Abraham Lincoln was his big hat tied drugs in or like a big bong?
Yeah.
Probably.
Yeah.
I think that's been confirmed.
Yeah.
He didn't want Mary to know that he was smoking pot all the time, so he hid his bong.
He's like, oh no, this is just a fashion choice that no one else will ever make.
Come on, Abe.
Pharrell tried.
Pharrell tried.
He had a good run at it.
Then he couldn't go to the theater for a while and he realized what did he want more, you
know?
Things you don't think about because you don't know about it.
Yeah, right.
Tapping you in.
Also, I wondered if Abraham Lincoln wore that big hat because it was like, hey, try to
shoot me in the head, but then he has like so much empty space up there, so it's like
he's trying to convince everyone that he's got a giant cone head or something.
Yeah.
Like if you want to shoot me in the brain, shoot way up there.
Up there.
Yeah.
Didn't work.
That's why Tyra Banks doesn't wear one.
Yeah, because she has a giant forehead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You'd just be all head in the hat.
Right, yeah.
Interesting.
Makes sense.
Do you want to try it with Adam here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Give it to me, man.
I'm thinking of a shirt.
Shirt.
Okay, right?
Stop looking at my shirt.
Like Burton Ernie, one of the more stripes.
What are stripes?
A movie about the army, right?
Yeah.
And it doesn't matter because it was an army movie, and when you deep dive into that, you're
just being followed by the man.
You're doing whatever you're told to do, man.
Yeah.
Why don't you take a step backwards and do a blow job?
Okay.
Try something new, you know?
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
So you're thinking of a shirt, a shirt, and then you went to Burton Ernie.
Burton Ernie, who wears shirts?
And they wear a stripe shirt specifically, and then there was a movie called Stripes.
Who was in it?
We don't, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter?
Because it's about the army.
Because it's about the army.
You know what I'm saying?
Right.
No, it's everywhere.
It's everything.
Yeah.
You got to tap into this man.
It's like a hazy IPA.
You don't know what's coming because you can't really see through it, but it's there.
It feels like it's, it's like it's everywhere, almost.
Yeah.
Like it's all connected.
It feels like you could almost make a connection about anything, in a way, to anything.
Like, what if we did the beginning and then the endpoint and see if you can connect those?
The endpoint?
Yeah.
So like, we'll pick two words and see if you can connect them.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, can you think of a word?
Scott, can we talk privately just for one second?
Yeah.
Do you mind?
We're going to talk privately for a second.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to read my tattoos.
Okay.
What's up?
Okay.
We need to think of two words.
Two words, right?
Yeah.
Can you think of one and then I'll think of one?
I can't, I want to.
Okay.
So do I.
That's one.
I don't know that I can think of one word.
Okay.
Put our heads together and think of one.
What if we thought of one word and then maybe that'll make us think of another word?
That's a great idea.
Okay.
What if it started with flat?
Flat.
Okay.
I'm going to count to three and we both start with flat.
Okay.
And then we'll finish it and we'll have our word.
Okay.
Here we go.
One, two, three.
Flat.
Dujus.
Yeah.
Didn't work.
I don't think that's a word.
Flat.
Flatulence.
Flatulence.
Okay, we start with flatulence.
And then the other word is fart.
Okay.
Let's see if she can connect it.
Or he.
He.
Harvey.
Okay.
We got our first word and our second word.
Flatulence and fart.
Great.
You would think those are the same.
Totally different, right?
Right.
Because what else is flatulence?
Earth.
The earth is flat and we're surrounded by gas, right?
Yeah.
And if you step on the edge, you're going to fall down.
Just like dinosaurs, how did they really die?
People say it's the weather.
It was actually lack of oxygen.
They had really tiny nostrils.
And oxygen has been tested in amber.
And there's actually more oxygen in it.
And you know where there is an oxygen?
In your farts.
Oh, whoa.
Shit.
So the dinosaurs died because they, they, there wasn't enough air.
Nostrils.
And they fell off the earth.
The earth, yeah.
Shit.
That's pretty.
I mean, it's hard to argue with any of that.
Harvey did it.
Harvey did it.
Harvey the truth seeker.
Yeah.
How did you get into this line of work?
Oh, I was just on Tik Tok showing off my pecs one day, you know.
Oh.
Somebody was commenting on my live laugh love tattoo.
Can I see it?
Is it your pecs?
Yeah.
Oh, I mean, those aren't.
I just ripped my shirt.
Now it's open.
I mean, they're not really that impressive.
If you don't mind me saying they're kind of flabby.
I mean, I'm, but that's, that's what they are.
They're flabby pecs, you know.
You were showing off your flabby pecs.
Yeah.
Cause men all have like the hard ones and women have the soft ones.
And I'm like, I can have soft ones too, you know, meatloaf had them.
Yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
And fight club.
He had them.
Fight club and they embraced it.
Fight club and life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now it's dead.
So in death, I guess.
Yeah.
Cause he died.
Oh, well he's, he is dead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's why I don't eat meatloafs.
Cause why would you eat a loaf of meat?
You know what I mean?
It's a good point.
Yeah.
So you were just showing off your flabby pecs.
I was showing off my flabby pecs, you know.
And I was getting pretty good connection with some kids and adults.
And they started asking me questions and I realized my flabby pecs are connecting
them to who is their God?
What is education?
You know what I'm saying?
Hmm.
I guess not.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Like when you stare at my nipple really hard, not the nipple hard, you staring hard.
You're going to start to see.
Your nipple is so soft.
Yeah.
It's invertically soft.
Yeah.
It's so weird.
I mean, it looks like a, like a stuffed bunny.
Almost.
It's just, it looks so warm and soft.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the opposite of the Donnie Darko Bunny.
It's not scary at all.
It's soft and you kind of want to put your finger in it.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
Which you maybe can later, depending on if I get to know you better.
Oh, okay.
I don't know.
Do you think we'll get to know Harvey better?
I think we're in the process of doing that right now.
I think so.
I think we're finding our little ground, you know.
Olaf's middle part.
What do you think about this?
Is this any of this connecting to you?
Reverberating.
I found the story of the flatulence and farting very disturbing and.
Yeah.
For the heat element that would melt.
And also, I don't want to be rude, but I don't, I don't believe all these conspiracies.
What?
You don't, which conspiracies do you believe?
I don't want to start anything with your requests, but I find when you believe information
that you get off TikTok, it can be very dangerous to do that.
I've never thought of that before.
It's dangerous to open your mind to the reality of what the truth is.
I get it.
You got to stay cold.
You got to stay icy because you're, you're, you have a fear of melting, but maybe when
you don't tell me what I am, you do not know my pain.
You do not know.
You see, I did not want to start this, but the dinosaurs were killed by the ice age.
We killed, we killed the dinosaurs.
We will kill you.
We will kill the humans as well.
Wow.
See what I'm saying?
You pull it out.
You're right.
And now we've got a murderer at the table.
Shit, dude.
Tap, tap, man.
We're just chilling, man.
Why do you think there wasn't oxygen?
We took the oxygen from the dinosaurs with our icy grip.
So you killed all the, and you're going to kill all the humans if there are more of you?
If, if, if, if I, if I don't get more, some more auditions.
Then you'll get all your friends together and create a new ice age.
Perhaps.
Oh, perhaps.
You got to get this guy some auditions.
Yeah.
Just auditions, not even booking the parts.
I'm not unreasonable.
Okay.
Thank you.
Just get me in the door.
It's okay.
Yeah.
You want your talent.
By the way, Olaf's middle.
Is it cool enough in here for you?
You need us to turn up the AC or?
I was going to say earlier when you guys were coming up with the two words, you put your
elbow, you rested it on me and Scott, you put your water.
Yeah.
You nestled it.
Sorry.
You look so much like, like an end table.
It's just hard.
I mean, I can't, we can't see the mouth in the back.
Right.
You would, should I turn around?
Yeah.
I guess let's see.
It throws some people off to see a mouth and a, where a spine should be.
But there's no difference between front and back.
You're just a circle.
So.
Yeah.
I have a button.
Okay.
I have a little button up here.
Okay.
Let's see your mouth.
You mind showing it to us?
There you go.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Is that a mouth?
Or is that just a hole?
It's just.
It just looks like an anus with teeth.
Yeah.
It's just a hole with an arrow next to it.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm getting roasted right now.
This is my mouth.
Well, I'm sorry.
You can't see it.
It's just whoever put that in.
We have mirrors.
We have mirror.
We have mirror.
Reflect device.
Reflect device.
I see my mouth.
Why use reflect device when you could just use a mirror?
You said you have mirrors.
Because I don't have a fucking leg.
You don't have a fucking mirror.
She wants your buck.
Well, Harvey, the truth seeker.
So is there anything coming up that we need to be aware of?
I think you guys should be thinking about these Emmys.
Oh, yeah.
Have you thought about them at all?
The Emmys?
Yeah.
No, I haven't thought about it.
I was waiting for this interaction with Harvey to really think about it.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
Because the Emmys, though, it's about me.
So it's not about you.
You know what I'm saying?
It's about you?
It's about me.
The Emmys.
It's about me.
And who am I?
I can't define myself except by the name my mother gave me and the name I keep trying
to change.
But the DMV won't accept truth seeker yet.
Maybe they will someday.
So when you go there, you need to mention me is what I'm saying.
Oh, when you go to the DMV?
To the Emmys.
Oh.
Well, yeah.
If you could go to the DMV for me, there's always a long line and I don't like to book
an appointment.
Wait, that's the reason they won't change your name just because you won't wait in line?
Yeah.
Because they're like, did you marry a truth seeker?
I'm like, no.
I am a truth seeker.
I'm sure they'll change your name to anything.
Well, I don't want to be anything.
I want to be a truth seeker.
Anything's a dumb-less name.
That's a good point.
OK, so you want one of us to go to the DMV for you.
Yeah.
And you want me to mention you at the Emmys.
Yeah.
If you want, just hold up your phone and show my TikTok.
I'll go to the DMV.
You'll take the Emmys?
I'll do the Emmys.
Yeah.
You want me to just do it until whenever I see a camera, just hold up your TikTok account.
Yeah.
Do you need Olaf's middle part to do anything for you?
I don't think Olaf's got a following that I'm concerned about.
That sounded like a snup-a-dig.
Yeah, a little bit.
And by the way, Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, John Candy.
What about them?
Those are the stars of Stripes.
One of them's Canadian, like the rapper Snow.
That's a good point.
Here come the hot stepper.
And Snow and Candy, hot stepper.
Comes back around.
Yeah.
OK, well, yeah, we'll see what we can do.
Wendy, do you need us to go to the DMV for it?
Probably before Monday, you know?
Before this Monday?
I have the legal name, Jaseeker, at the award show when you're showing your phone,
which has my face on it, probably a bit of my name.
I'm probably out on a five or you.
I would do it when the, you know, that part where like,
how many nominees are there this year for what you do?
There's usually like five or six.
Yeah, but you don't know.
I think there's five or six.
Five or six.
Is it five or six?
I'm not sure.
We could count them right now.
He doesn't know whether to include himself.
Who are you going to thank if you don't mention the other five or six?
That's exactly right.
But here's what I think, you know, that part where they,
where they put all of your little pictures up.
Yeah.
Right now, screens are rectangle, right?
Hold it up then?
Yeah, yeah, when they're like, and the nominees are.
Yeah.
Who are the other nominees?
Bob, Odin, Kirk.
You got him.
Kirk like Kirk.
Space.
Yep.
Space.
So when they call my name, I just hold the phone up.
You hold the phone up and show the TikTok in full.
That's, you see, that's a good idea.
Cause the Emmys.
Okay.
All right, it's settled.
That's, that's what I'll do.
You got to fill up time on the Emmys too.
It's the same thing at all TV.
You got to just fill time.
Oh my God.
Well, this is good.
Okay.
So we can get the message out for you.
You guys can just help get the message out.
You know what I mean?
Cause otherwise when we get to that fifth dimension,
no one's going to join me.
What happens in the fifth dimension?
Well, that's where we leave our bodies and we re-enter them to the exact same world
we're in, but it's different.
Oh, yeah.
Right now we're in the third dimension.
We're jumping through the fourth to the fifth.
It'll be exactly the same, but different.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Why do we leave our bodies, but then just immediately go back into them?
Cause we need to get the knowledge from the universe.
You know, the CIA have known the whole time and now I'm letting you know.
Cause the CIA, I see, I am understanding it.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I can't.
Yeah, think about that one and write it out.
That one was pretty weak.
Yeah, actually.
Yeah.
All right.
You can, I mean, even you have to.
Yeah.
Cause I see it and I am, but that's more of CIA am.
Yeah.
Like will I am.
Will I am.
Then maybe you got something.
If you were like, will I am and then see I am, you know, but yeah.
Bring back Ferdy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we need to take a break, but this is fascinating stuff.
Can you stick around?
Cause I would love your insight into our next guest.
We have a medium coming up and that's, I mean, very similar to, uh, to what's going on here
with, uh, or maybe not.
I don't know.
We'll find out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, and you can stick around all offs, middle part, middle part.
As long as you keep an even temperature.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Do you want us to turn it down at all or up or throw some ice on me?
It would become part of me.
Okay.
Here you go.
Oh.
Oh.
Absorb.
It hurts.
It hurts with the pain as well as quickly.
Oh, thank you.
Jesus.
I didn't expect that.
Wow.
Fuck.
We need to take a break.
We're going to be right back with a medium.
We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.
Comedy bang bang.
We're back.
Adam Scott is here of, uh, the, uh, Emmy show, uh, coming up.
Um, what, what, what network?
Uh, I believe it's on NBC.
NBC.
Your old stomping ground as, uh, the host.
Yeah.
You used to stomp around NBC.
Yeah.
I used to show my wares, uh, at the old BC, the old boo.
Well, um, we also have Olaf's middle part here.
And, uh, did you audition for anything in the Emmys?
I was just thinking that how can I get an audition for the Emmys?
That's a good question.
Uh, usually most of those parts are cast by whoever's nominated for awards.
I mean, you've written on the Emmys before.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would answer Olaf's middle's question.
Yeah.
Better than I would.
Although you're going to be there this year.
You could probably talk to the producers and say it.
Who says the names of the memoriam?
Who says those names?
Yeah.
Who says the, you know, in the memoriam where the sad song is playing and then someone
says their names really loud?
It happens every year.
That's the way I remember it.
I feel like you'd be perfect for that.
Olaf's middle.
They've never done that before.
Someone should read the names.
That's the perfect voice for it.
Thank you.
Yeah.
We also have Harvey, the truth seeker.
Truth seeker.
Truth seeker here.
And we have a medium coming up.
Are you excited about this?
I'm super excited because I feel like we're going to get each other like you wouldn't
understand or get us.
You know what I mean?
Oh yeah.
Probably.
Like the movie Us by Jordan Peele.
Peele.
We understood that one.
You peel an orange.
And what do you get?
Orange.
Orange.
You glad?
Glad I said.
You said that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sit down.
Sit.
Us.
This is us.
Yeah.
This is us.
The Emmys.
The Emmys.
Fires and houses for Jed's guy.
Spoilers.
Haven't seen a single episode.
I mean, it's in the pilot.
I don't know if it's really a spoiler.
I started seeing a pilot.
Well, you know, they fly planes and they lead you there.
Don't tell me anymore.
I'm going to watch it for my other show.
Scott.
Yeah.
I'm starting to think that maybe stuff that Harvey's saying is bullshit.
Like the shit out of a bullet.
Yeah.
Why?
Not like untrue.
Oh, but just it literally is shit that comes out of a bull's eye.
Yeah.
I'm glad you got what I was saying.
Okay.
Well, bring it up next time.
I will.
He talks.
Okay.
Next time he talks, promise me.
I will.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Well, we need to get to our next guest.
They're a medium and their name is Martha.
Hey, Martha.
Oh my gosh.
Hello.
It's so good to be here.
Hi.
Nice to see you.
It's good to have you.
Oh my, it's good to be had.
I am out of my house.
I've been out this the first time in a while.
So I'm excited.
First time you've been out of your house.
Hello everyone.
Why is this the first time you've been out of your house?
Oh, just because COVID.
Oh.
First time in a while.
Oh, you had COVID or?
No.
I tried to stay in my house because that's what you were supposed to do during COVID.
Well, I mean like recently though, like in September of 2022.
I didn't get a lot of invites.
Talk to that mic, please.
I didn't get a lot of invites.
Oh my God.
Yes, louder.
Oh my God.
Yeah, it's better.
Well, I'm glad that you're finally out of your house.
I mean, I'm not saying that everything's over.
It's just like people have gone out of their houses earlier than September of 2022.
Anyway, Martha, it's great to have you on the show.
This is Olaf's middle part.
Hello.
When does it become the Joe Rogan show?
All right.
It doesn't exist.
COVID doesn't exist.
I'm not saying.
I don't get vaccinated to move on.
Did you get vaccinated?
You're the one with the arms.
I told you, I get no diseases.
I only can melt.
Oh, wow.
Is there a COVID of melting?
Yeah.
Fucking hot coal you've thrown on you.
Hot coal.
The COVID of melting.
Well, Martha, it's great to have you.
Now, you're a medium.
What exactly is the difference between a psychic and a medium?
I was wondering this the other day.
Do you have some psychic abilities as well?
I'm more talking to dead.
Oh, okay.
Yes.
We had a medium on one of our live shows recently.
Oh, no.
Really?
Oh, we might know each other.
Yeah.
There's a lot of mediums out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you go to the conventions and everything?
Oh, gosh.
Yes.
Great.
I'll tell you what.
It's crazy.
Do you all just kind of know when they're happening?
Yes.
Oh, no.
That's psychic.
I have a little bit of a psychic ability.
I know when they are and then I tell my medium friends and then I tell all the ghosts so
they show up.
Wait.
So these are ghosts?
They're not just dead people?
Do you know what I mean?
I know exactly what you mean.
And it's ghosts and dead people.
Okay.
So you can talk to either.
Oh, absolutely.
Okay.
So some dead people, they don't become ghosts, but you can still talk to them.
Absolutely.
Great.
And I ain't talk about zombies.
Oh, shit.
Can you talk to zombies?
God, I wish.
I have a couple of times, but that's about it.
Okay.
Interesting.
Okay.
So now what's your process here?
Are you going to show us how you talk to them or are you?
I just get like flashes of stuff and then if that speaks to anybody, like right now I'm
seeing, I'm getting a vision of a lot of yarn, some yarn.
Any connections to yarn?
Okay.
A ball of yarn.
A ball of yarn.
Oh, a ball of yarn.
Okay.
I was thinking it was just like.
A yarn.
Straight.
No, it's unspoothing.
It's unspoothing.
What is spoothing?
Yeah, spoothing.
You know, just when it gets unspoothed.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Martha, what's up?
Oh, my God.
What?
What?
What?
What?
It's my cat, Jeanette.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Your cat.
It's my cat, Jeanette.
Oh.
I see my cat, Jeanette.
She's not dead.
She's just at home.
Oh.
She must be calling me.
Oh, my God.
Calling you.
Telepathically.
Oh, telepathically.
Oh, I was going to say.
Oh, my God.
Jeanette, I'm out.
Okay.
I'll be home.
The first time I leave at home, of course my cat's calling me.
Get off the line.
I'm at CBB.
Jeanette, hang up.
Celebrity Big Brother.
Not Celebrity Big Brother.
She got excited.
Yeah, I know what she should be saying.
Not Celebrity Big Brother.
I promise.
We'll watch when I get home.
Hang up.
Oh, my God.
This is embarrassing.
Sorry.
Yeah, I was going to say.
None of us, I mean, Harvey, you don't have any connection to yarn, right?
No, no connection to yarn, but Jeanette sounds like net.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, and sometimes those are made out of yarn.
Made out of yarn.
Sometimes you catch water animals and them like a manatee, right?
Right.
But men don't drink tea.
No.
You must learn Britain, which makes me think.
Wow.
Your cat's got a past you don't know about.
Oh, I know about my cat's past.
Oh, you do?
Oh, yeah.
She's on her ninth life.
I know about him.
I've had her every time she's been on earth.
She's been my cat.
Really?
Oh, okay.
So your cat has died nine times in your possession?
Eight times.
Eight times in your possession.
Yeah.
Okay, so this last one is it.
This last one's it.
And then what happens?
And then we both go to who knows where.
You both?
Oh, yeah.
When your cat dies, you're going to go?
Absolutely.
Okay.
Absolutely.
Interesting.
You're telling me when your pets don't die or not go with them?
Stop talking about my pets dying.
Well, you brought it up.
You brought it up.
You brought it up.
I don't know who brought it up.
Okay, look.
When your pets die, you can meet them in the afterlife on the rainbow bridge.
Are they?
That's the thing.
Everyone talks about doggy heaven.
There's a rainbow bridge.
There's a rainbow bridge.
All cats go to heaven.
All dogs go to heaven.
Most cats go to hell.
Okay.
Does this stop workshopping titles for your humor book?
All right.
You're very young.
You're very young to have eight deaths of one cat.
Yeah.
How old do you think I am?
32?
32.
73.
Whoa.
You are a sexy 73.
Wilda.
Thank you.
Wilda.
Hamana.
Hamana.
Listen, no wrinkles at all.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Do you not like wrinkles?
I would imagine snow doesn't get wrinkles.
Yeah.
Snow gets lost in wrinkles.
Like don't like it in wrinkles.
Dang.
Because it gets trapped in wrinkles.
Interesting.
All right.
Are you getting any more flashes here of anything?
Okay.
Give me a minute.
Also, thanks for all those compliments.
Yeah.
I need a moment.
Thanks, Louise.
Okay.
I just, if it's coming on a show, I would be like prepared.
No, I just stepped out of my house.
You knew you were going to do this, right?
I knew I was going to do this.
The ghosts always don't come at the same time.
Okay.
Do you want to just let us know whenever a ghost comes and we'll just talk about your wrinkles?
Or lack thereof.
Okay.
Said I was 73 and all of a sudden I'm hot to trot.
Okay.
Giving you plenty of space here.
Okay.
Thank you.
Okay.
A lot of space.
I am in a room where I see a lot of space.
Okay.
These John Adams Saturday Night Feast.
Wow.
Could be that giant room.
We've seen some shoes.
Oh my God.
This is the room.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
I'm seeing a lot coming from the ceiling.
Oh my God.
This is John Adams Saturday Night Feast.
Oh my gosh.
There's a beam shining on the ground.
Okay.
Phone that beam.
Okay.
Something is lit up.
Lit up.
Oh.
Jeanette.
It's Jeanette again.
God damn it.
Jeanette.
Jeanette.
What?
Your cat.
Yeah.
My cat.
Jeanette.
Jeanette.
Wait.
You have a Saturday Night Fever room in your house?
I don't know about the Saturday Night Fever.
Oh, I know.
I have a huge disco ball and a pair of shoes.
Yeah.
She loves them.
With one extra shoe?
Mm-hmm.
It was three shoes.
It's her shoes.
We lost one of her shoes one time.
She used to be a tap dancing cat.
Not a big deal, but we also have, yeah.
Is that what the Saturday Night Live room is like?
It's not a Saturday Night Live necessarily.
The Saturday Night Fever room is very similar.
That's right.
By the way, you have a tap dancing cat.
That's ostensibly more interesting than the medium stuff.
Different life.
Is it?
I mean, the medium stuff so far has been, you haven't...
Because Jeanette won't get off the, I miss her so much.
How long have you been away from her?
Oh gosh.
Probably took me an hour to get over here.
Why?
Where do you live?
I drive slow.
Burbank.
Well, it should not be taking you an hour to drive.
I drive slow.
Okay.
Sounds like you're more of a Dr. Doolittle than a medium.
Yeah.
You're talking to your cat all the time.
Oh God, I wish I was a Dr. Doolittle.
Oh my God.
That's the dream.
That is the dream.
Wouldn't that be nice?
We all want to be a Dr. Doolittle.
Absolutely.
Do you have any other pets other than Jeanette?
God, I wish Jeanette won't let me get any siblings.
She's jealous.
Very jealous.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
God, I'm sorry.
The ghosts aren't coming.
Ghosts aren't coming.
Okay.
Well, I guess we can just kill time until then.
Yeah.
Is there...
Well, kill time.
You can speak to it.
Yeah.
You don't know what I mean.
Oh, I thought I had that joke.
So, 73, you were born in 1950, or 1949, huh?
Yep.
Wow.
So, born in the 40s.
Mm-hmm.
Nothing yet?
Nothing yet.
God, I wish.
God, I wish.
Jeanette won't shut up.
Oh, Jean's still on the line?
She's just there.
Can we talk to Jeanette?
I'll try.
Okay.
Hey, Jeanette.
Jeanette.
Hey, Jeanette.
Hey, Jeanette.
Jeanette.
Nope.
Oh, nothing.
Okay.
Let's talk about the tap dancing cat, then.
Okay.
If this is not coming.
Oh, here she is.
Oh, okay.
Meow.
Oh, God.
I'm going to have to translate for you.
Can you translate in English?
Yeah, please.
Absolutely.
Okay.
I've told her it's not...
So, she's still talking about comedy.
A big brother.
Comedy big brother?
She's still talking about...
No, they're getting closer to my title.
That is the future.
She has a comedy big brother.
We'll all be trapped here.
She has a pitch.
I told her not to, but she has a pitch.
Comedy big brother where it's just a bunch of comedians in a house.
I mean...
Andy Dick, Chris Catan.
Chris Catan already did it.
It's everybody's big brother.
He quit three days in.
We don't want Catan on the show.
Oh, man, I wish.
He's going to quit again.
Did that really happen?
Yeah.
Oh, dang.
That sounds crazy.
That's really happened.
Don't say it.
That's really happened.
Well, uh-oh.
Well, uh-oh what?
Oh, no, it's just a delivery.
I thought it was a spirit, but it was just a UPS man.
You're getting a delivery at your own?
Yeah.
Yeah, you and Adam, man.
He's checking his watch.
You're talking to Jeanette.
Yeah, well, Jeanette.
Come on, we're in the middle of a show here.
My God.
Did anybody die?
Yeah, maybe I'll start there and see if they.
Did anybody?
Olivia Newton-Chan.
Well, I just learned about this.
Oh, no.
I don't.
I don't think she'll get.
Let's get the metaphysical.
That was a good one.
That was really good.
That was a good one.
Very good.
You mind if I use that for my book?
Better than his book.
It's just severance with a picture of Adam.
Oh, that's nice.
Thank you.
That sounds good.
You're writing a book?
Even this is more interesting.
Yeah, earlier you talked about it.
Then you talk it to your cat.
Yeah, no.
I got a book.
I got a book about all the dead people I talked to.
It's not interesting.
Who have you talked to?
Oh, my gosh.
And why are you writing it if it's not interesting?
Just because I got a four book deal.
You got an advance?
Yeah.
Six figure advance.
That'll make you write anything.
That'll do it.
Yeah.
Okay, so who have you talked to in the past?
Oh, gosh.
Betty White.
Oh, that must be recent.
She's dead.
Uh-huh.
I guess.
Does she know she's dead?
Oh, yeah.
She knows.
Did she know, did she suffer?
No.
No.
Okay.
No.
We don't want Betty White to suffer.
Yeah, no.
Can't talk about your dogs dying, but asking if Betty White suffered.
And if she knows about it.
You know, name important people that died.
Me too.
Jack Pete Rudman?
Yes.
Me too.
Yes.
All of them, yes.
Jack Klugman, yeah.
Yes.
You talked to Jack Klugman?
Yes.
What's going on with Jack Klugman?
Oh.
Does he have unfinished business here on this earth?
Oh, my gosh.
Absolutely.
You sounded excited about that one.
Well, just there's always unfinished business on earth.
You know what I'm saying?
Because you're unearthing something.
You're always digging in the soil.
That's a good point.
Keep going deeper.
You just get deeper.
I don't know if I believe in all of that.
Yes.
You really thought that you guys were going to connect.
Sometimes there's snow on top of the earth and you can't get into the earth.
Yeah.
Did Jack Klugman talk about the punk rock Quincy episode at all?
Yeah.
Non-stop.
Non-stop.
That's his unfinished business.
Sounds like.
Absolutely.
That's part of it.
You know who I also talked to?
My neighbor Nancy.
Oh, did she die?
She's dead.
Yes, she died.
Oh.
Of what?
Old age.
Nancy Lincoln.
How old?
42.
You can't die of old age at 42.
Really?
No.
Oh.
She was a pug.
Oh.
A dog.
So you only talked to the animal?
Not only.
And Jack Klugman?
I've been here.
A lot of people, a lot of famous people, but I don't find them as interesting.
As the pets don't.
Yeah.
Jimi Hendrix.
He won't stop coming back.
Talk about a guy who can back up more front ways into a blow job.
You'd be talking to that guy.
Jimi Hendrix.
He wasn't even very talkative when he was alive.
Is he still, is he on the heavenly band or did?
He's retired.
He retired from the heavenly band.
He's the one they always talk about.
Yeah.
Being the lead guitarist for the heavenly band.
Yes, John Bonham.
John Bonham, Jimi Hendrix, who else?
Yeah.
Adolf Hitler.
Adolf Hitler.
I do not talk to him.
Okay, you just want to make that clear.
Yeah, I do not talk to him.
Does he try?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah, that guy's trying everybody.
Wow.
Nobody wants to talk to him.
What about that cat that looks like Hitler with the mustache?
Yeah, with the Hitler mustache.
Hitler mustache.
Yeah, to be more specific.
Is that cat?
No, the chaplain mustache, little cat that died.
I talked to him, not that other dog.
Oh, cat.
You talk to the cat with the chaplain mustache?
Yes.
Why?
Because he wants to talk.
Okay.
Well, tell us something interesting about it.
Don't just list people that you've talked to.
But it's not interesting.
Oh my God, Martha.
All they're talking about is what they would have done
if they were still alive, all the things they wanted to say.
Yes, that's what we want to hear about.
No, that's not fun.
That's not fun.
What are you going to have in your book if it's not like
the stuff that they talk about?
Little jokes and like little stuff that me and Jeanette do.
Let's get metaphysical.
Let's get metaphysical if I might have that one.
So he told you what is now going to be the title of your book
and that's a joke?
That's the only one you're using?
You haven't thought about any other jokes
and that's the first thing you mentioned when you said
what your book is about.
Well, you first said, because you got it on my notes
when I said all dogs go to heaven, all cats go to hell
and you said quit trying to work your comedy.
I didn't even think that was in sale.
I started writing and I was like,
oh, maybe that does go in the book.
So this is just, whoa, what's that?
Just stretching my arm out, Jesus Christ.
I thought you had the Holy Ghost for a second.
You're so jumpy.
You know, if you have to stretch your arm, it's a sign,
you know, you have to arm yourself.
I mean, something is blocking you.
I don't think we should be arming ourselves.
I didn't say with artillery.
Oh, what?
Instead of artillery, maybe Hillary has the answer, pizza.
Maybe you're just hungry.
Pizza.
Pizza gate.
It's a bit of a jump, but that's what they ate, you know?
A lot in emails.
I think Harvey's a pizza gate.
I think conspiracy.
I think Harvey is like an ultra.
I love pizza.
Her emails had pizza in them a lot, you know what I'm saying?
Did they mention pizza at those emails?
Is that what everyone's upset about?
It isn't.
I don't think so, but I don't think it matters.
I think just kind of link everything to pizza.
Two, Bill.
Yeah.
Re, pizza.
Get the pizza.
Maybe she likes pizza.
Maybe she just likes pepperoni.
Maybe there's something deeper, you know?
Hey, anything coming up, Martha?
God, I'm telling you.
What did you think you were going to do on this show?
I'm telling you, Scott, it's my first time out in a while,
and Jeanette won't hang up the phone.
You should have left months ago.
I should have left months ago.
Yes.
Where am I going?
I don't care, but you should have left six months ago
and made several trips, so this didn't happen
on your huge talk show appearance.
Oh, God, I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Well, maybe when my book comes out with all my jokes
and just stories about my day, me and Jeanette's day,
are you saying I should write a book about all the dead people
I do talk to?
Yes.
That's more interesting.
You should at least tell us some details about them
because otherwise, disappearance.
So this happened.
I had a premonition in 2000.
2000.
OK.
I was like, you know what?
Because I also have psychabilities.
Trump's going to become president.
Guess what?
People laughing at me.
People were laughing at me.
Well, I mean.
I said, oh, you know what?
Those Twin Towers, they're not going to be here,
not for too long.
Guess what?
People laughed at me.
You should have learned the authorities.
People told you these things?
No, because I just have a gift.
Did you write this stuff down in 2000
or record it?
I would tell my friends at parties and stuff.
At parties.
But they would just laugh at me.
That's a downer at a party.
The Twin Towers are going to be here.
I said they weren't going to be here anymore.
I wouldn't do it at a party.
I would do it in more serious conversations.
I would alert the authorities.
Maybe walking to the cars after the party.
Yeah.
Still at the end of a good night.
Maybe when you're getting your coats.
Yeah, I would maybe take some of the coffee
for that information.
After the party.
No one wants coffee.
I have a premonition that Trump's going to be president.
I said, hey, will you go to coffee with me?
I sit you down and I say, you know what?
Trump's going to be president one day.
This sounds good to me.
It sounds good to you?
Let's role play the party.
Adam and I are at a party.
Anyway, the stocks are doing quite well.
Everybody shut up.
Trump's going to become president
and things are going to go haywire.
Who is this?
Did you and Ivanka Trump?
Hey, close the door.
Not Ivanka.
Sorry.
Hey, our snowman is melting.
Sorry.
And guess what?
You're going to be on Darth Vader's face one day.
That's absurd.
Okay, see?
Now, how's this going?
Bad, right?
Yeah, we were having a good...
That's what I'm saying.
It's going bad.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
No, I'm saying it.
That's why these things are going bad.
That's why I don't find them interesting.
And you don't want to put them in your book because of that.
Well, now that's already happened.
What's your prediction for the future?
You know what I mean?
Like, I could get the word out?
We know what you mean.
The future.
You know what I mean?
So that hasn't happened yet.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
I don't follow.
I don't follow giving the moment when it's what's happening now.
You mean the rapper of the future?
Yeah, it could be.
Contemporary of snow.
But I could help you get it out there.
You know what I mean?
I got to follow it.
Yeah.
What's coming up?
You guys could team up.
Yeah.
Because a team...
I don't know if I believe in all that.
I mean, you believe in...
I mean, you've experienced so much weird shit.
Absolutely.
Knowing Trump's going to be president.
You're weird as my every day.
You're weird as my Wednesday.
That's an even better title of your book.
Oh man, I have so many books.
You're weird as my Wednesday.
Okay.
This is not bad.
Although people might think it's an Adam's family book.
Adam's family.
Which Adam?
That's what I thought.
Adam.
Holy shit.
Adam.
Your book.
Holy shit.
Oh my god.
It all came together.
Yeah, this is all connected in a big way.
Oh shit.
Oh wow.
This whole time.
Huh.
Well, I'll tell you a prediction I got.
Yeah.
What do you got?
Someone's getting a trophy soon.
Participation?
Oh my goodness.
Like kids?
For showing up.
They should give everyone a participation trophy.
Shouldn't they?
Yeah.
Like, yeah, I realize you can't get the big one.
The big heavy one.
But there's one underneath every seat.
Yeah.
Exactly.
There should be an ME under every seat.
A little tinier one.
Yeah.
Extremely small.
Extremely small.
That'll help you when you have to put it in your butt.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So much easier.
So much easier.
Are we?
I see.
Okay.
I was getting a vision.
I wasn't sure what it was, but I saw a trophy up somebody's butt.
Was it an Oscar?
Is that?
Oh, let me see.
Let me see.
Or was it an Emmy?
Oh god.
Emmy has the big wings.
I mean, it would be far more difficult.
That'd be so terrible.
That's why we sent the Oscar.
Yeah.
It's nice.
Thank you.
Thank you for that.
Here's the thing.
I see an Emmy, I guess.
Oh, so you're just doing it for fun?
And an MTV award.
A moon man?
No, the popcorn.
The popcorn.
Oh, the popcorn.
These are just what I see.
These are just visions that come to me when they come to me.
It's either going to be you or ridiculousness.
Wow.
Well, look, Martha.
Yeah.
You're not Superman or Batman's mother, are you?
God, I wish.
Okay.
All right.
So, look, we're running out of time.
Okay.
I'm so sorry.
You don't have any more people we can talk to.
Don't be sorry.
They come to me when they come to the Jeanette's on the line.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Well, we only have one final feature on the show.
That is, of course, a little something called plugs.
Hey, that was post plugs theme by Lostin found.
Thank you, Lostin, for that wonderful plug theme.
And what are we plugging at him?
Obviously you want everyone to watch the Emmys.
Yeah, please watch the Emmys.
Do you want these to be as highly talked about as when Slap Happy Smith was at the Oscars?
You know who I'm talking about.
Yeah.
I feel like this year at the Emmys, this is going to be way more slapping.
Yeah.
Going on.
It's going to be a big slap fest.
Yeah.
That'd be awesome.
Oh, yeah.
Do you think there will be one slapping?
One joke about it?
I think there might be one, at least.
Olaf's middle part, what do you want to plug here?
Well, not frozen or frozen too, that's for sure.
Really?
You don't see money out of that?
Fuck that.
Oh, Jesus.
It's about the art or you do see money?
It is about the art.
I do get a lot of residuals.
That's all I get really.
Well, why should you get any more than residuals?
What?
Well, you said that, like, I get a lot of residuals.
That's all I get.
What else do you want?
I mean, that's how I'm making money these days, Scott.
Yeah, well, it's probably a good living, I would imagine.
Yeah, it is.
Why are you on my back here at the end of the show?
Oh, I thought you meant that's all you get from frozen.
You expected more from frozen.
No, that's all I get.
I'm looking for work, you know, whatever.
Okay.
Nothing to plug?
No, I feel like we ended on a down note with me.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I apologize.
That's all right.
Move on to Harvey.
That's all I'm plugging.
All right.
Great.
You know what I'm saying?
Definitely.
Then click those links.
Yeah.
What link?
What do you mean?
Well, if you click on my name, you know, I have like an Amazon shop and stuff.
Oh, cool.
I'd say to buy and it's mostly journals where I just say connect words together and make
stuff happen.
Yeah, cool.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
We definitely will.
Journal.
No.
Nermal.
Yeah.
Journal, Nermal.
Nermal.
Nothing's normal anymore.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
What was Nermal from?
Nermal Schnurr.
That's Thundercat.
Some cartoon.
Right?
Yeah.
Sure.
She said Thundercuts.
Yeah.
I did say, I said Schnurr from Thundercats.
Well, that's a different, that's not Nermal.
It's not.
Well, I'm going to look up Nermal.
He has a different character.
Yeah.
I'm going to look up Nermal.
I would also promote a Smith that's not will related.
Garfield.
Lasagna.
Don't look at that.
Nermal.
Here we go.
Nermal.
Here we go.
Nermal's gender.
Some fans have mistaken Nermal for a female kitten because of his eyelashes, his seemingly
feminine personality and feminine sounding tone of his voice on Garfield and Friends.
Nermal is a black and white cat that looks exactly like Garfield with giant eyelashes.
God, I don't remember.
On Garfield and Nermal at all.
Garfield and Nermal at all.
You can see them in larval.
All right.
The only friend I knew of was Odie.
Well, Odie's not a friend.
And John.
Well, Odie's a nemesis of sorts, but Odie had nothing against Garfield.
It was just Garfield fated.
Odie was an Odie.
Odie is sort of an unflappable, optimistic character.
Yeah, a dumb character.
Yeah, sort of like the characters you play.
Yeah, dumb idiots.
Yeah.
Now, what were you going to play?
A dumb idiot.
Monica Smith, no relation to Will, you know, look her up on all the socials, miss Monica
Smith.
Oh, okay.
No relation to Slap Happy Smith?
No relation to Slap Happy Smith, but I bet she probably would slap someone.
Really?
For what?
You never know.
Wow.
I think it's really.
Sure.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
And Martha.
Oh, God.
What's up?
No.
Why are you even here if like even just like referring to you?
You invited me and I thought I could talk to spirits, but I couldn't, not today.
Next time I'll bring in Jeanette.
I got nothing to play.
I got a few books coming out.
I haven't written them, but we have the titles of some of them.
You've got a nice big advance for your four book deal.
Yes.
I got a big old advance.
All right.
How was, is the advance cover all four of them or are they different prices for each one?
Six figures for each one.
Six figures for each book.
So does that add up to be still six figures?
Because even if it was like 100,000 per book, it would still be six figures.
Yeah, no, I get that.
Yeah.
No, it's still six figures.
Or is it 24 figures?
No.
God, I wish.
It's $999,999.
God, I wish.
It's still six figures.
Still six figures.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's what I have to plug, but I haven't written them.
I just know some of the titles.
If you have any of the titles.
If you give me five of those figures, I'll just write the books for you.
About what?
Anything.
Give me $99,000.
I'll write a book for you right now.
Sold.
Okay.
Wow.
I'll have it for you next week.
Okay.
It'll be all about dumb celebrities you've talked to.
No.
And how much Betty White suffered.
No.
No.
All right.
I want to plug.
First of all, thank you to everyone who came out to see us on the comedy bang bang tour.
We had a great time and Adam, you were there in Boston.
That was fun.
Sure.
It was fun.
If you want to hear all of those episodes, you can go to CBBworld.com.
All 23 of those shows are up.
23.
You did 23 days.
23 days.
Amazing.
And they're all up.
And, you know, even if you just subscribe for one month, you can blow through all 23
and then kick us to the curb.
I don't care.
It would hurt my feelings.
Really bad.
Blow your wad on all 23 apps.
Yep.
Blow your wad on 23 and me.
Back up into that.
All right.
Let's close up the old plug bag.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, you know he.
Yes, exactly.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I'm talking open up the plug bag.
Open up the plug bag.
Open up the plug bag.
Oh, no.
Open up the plug bag.
Open up the plug bag.
Beautiful.
Oh, okay.
That was Hey Nah by Mack Lechner.
Mack Lechner.
Thank you to Mack Lechner.
And guys, thank you so much.
Adam, good luck to you, you know,
in your quest for affirmation.
Yeah, thank you.
Do you think...
Affirmations?
Yeah.
Well, do you think you were the best actor?
Listen, it's not a contest, Scott.
It's frankly absurd to...
But if, say you and Bob Odenkirk and the other four or three.
Yes.
It's six total, I figured it out.
Oh, good.
Yes.
Say all six of you had to do Romeo's monologue from...
Romeo and Juliet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know, Banish it, Banish it.
Say a little show I've taken part in,
and coincidentally, I played the role of Romeo.
You played the StarCross lover himself?
I sure did.
I sure did.
In 2000...
Summer of 2001.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, how'd you do?
It was really bad.
I did a bad job.
Yeah, I thought you would, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you would lose?
Yes.
I think Bob would do it better.
100% better.
Yes.
You mentioned Bob doing Romeo.
Yes, I can, and it would be better than me.
Olaf's middle part.
Yes.
Thank you so much for being here.
Good luck to you.
And maybe we'll see you at the Emmys next year.
For the Mandalorian.
Oh, that's a good question.
That would be amazing.
It would be amazing.
My tongue is starting to melt, so...
Oh, sorry.
That's all right.
I don't do interviews as long usually.
Call up Elsa.
Although if you call her and you can't talk, what happens?
She knows when I'm gurgling that it's usually a need help.
Okay, we've got to get you into a cooler.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Harvey, the truth seeker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Continued success for you.
I mean, so many TikTok.
I mean, you'll see me in the Emmys, right?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We'll see you during the...
Hold up my phone.
Yeah, so you see me there, and then the future is now.
So maybe you'll see me in a moment.
The present is now.
Yeah, but now is the future.
As I said it...
It was the future.
Yeah, exactly.
Wow.
Right, yeah.
And Martha...
Yeah.
Oh, God, Scott, it's my first time out.
Next time you're on the show...
Yes.
Like stop off at the drugstore or something beforehand, you know?
So it's not your first time out of the house...
Oh, God.
Since this appearance.
A drugstore.
I don't...
What do you mean by drugs?
A pharmacy, a 7-Eleven.
I thought there would be like spirits at the drugstore.
So she could...
No, just do some errands before you come.
So Jeanette gets a little accustomed to you being gone, okay?
I'll do my best.
I'm going straight home.
Why?
Being out nuts.
Okay.
All right.
All right, we'll see you next time.
Thanks, bye.
Bye.
Bye.