Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Aparna Nancherla, Will Hines, Holly Laurent

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Stand-up comedian extraordinaire Aparna Nancherla joins Scott to talk about her new book “Unreliable Narrator: Me Myself, and Imposter Syndrome,” coffee tables, and dark chocolate. Then, musician Kurt Slammer stops by to promote his new Blues-Rock album. Plus, actress Ruth Debevoise drops by to talk about her acting career.

🎵 Good by stranger. It's been nice. Burritos come with beans and rice. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Wobbly Gobbly for that catchphrase submission. Always a pleasure to hear from Wobbly Gobbly. I don't believe it's going to stick, though. I can't see myself saying that every single episode. So I'm back on the hunt for another catchphrase. So thanks, wobbly, gobbly, but no thanks. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. We have a great show. Come here a little later. We have a musician. We also have an actress, hopefully not an actress who's working with the AMPTP because we can't talk about any of their struck work. But we can talk to musicians. We're allowed to talk to musicians. That struck work. But we can talk to musicians,

we're allowed to talk to musicians, that's wonderful. But before we get to them, by the way, my name is Scott Ockerman, this is the last episode of September. This is the last of our Back to School episodes. So if every guest that we have on could sort of tailor what they're talking about to Back to School, I would appreciate it.

Let's get to our first guest. We're gonna welcome her to the coveted two-timers club. She was last on in 2016, approximately 400 episodes ago and seven years ago. And she is a standup comedian of a much acclaim. And of course in Actress, we can't talk about any of that. She is a stand-up comedian of a much acclaim. And of course in actors, we can't talk about any of that. Nor would we.

No, I guess we would if the strike wasn't going on, wouldn't we, we would probably bring up some of yourself. Yeah, yeah, we not. Yeah, but not now. No, we would never. No, never bring up anything you've ever worked on now. I wouldn't even dare. No, of course, you're a coward. I'm a coward.

I thought when you were going to say a comedian of, I thought you were going to say ill-repute. That would be, I would love to be considered a comedian of ill-repute. I know, because then I was going to ask you to expand on what that means. Yeah, I guess a woman of ill-repute that would have been like a madman back in the day. Oh. Well, madman's like a small business owner, right? Well, that's the way I see it. Yeah. Sex work is work. Yes. Yes. That's how I feel, Aparna. have been like a madem back in the day. Oh, well, madem's like a small business owner, right? Well, that's the way I see it.

Sex work is work. Yes, yes. That's how I feel, Aparna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you don't, but that's how I feel. I said, I said the small business owner. Wait, you got to start it on this. I said her name.

She's now an author. And that's what we're here to talk about. Look, during a strike, we're here to talk to authors. We had an author last week, we had Gary Goldman on. Oh, no, I mean, it's really author season, no way related to the strike. I mean, a lot of books are coming up because they make good Christmas gifts, right?

Yeah, and they look great on a coffee table. They do? Yeah. Why don't they call them book tables? Mm. You know, yes, coffee is occasionally on there, maybe for half an hour a day, books are always on there.

Like you're not out there like going, going to your coffee table going like, oh, let me put the book on for 45 bits and then take it off. No, they're always there. You're right. This doesn't make any sense. Anyway, she's an author now.

Her book is called unreliable narrator, me, myself, and in Poster syndrome, please welcome back to the show that coveted two timers club, a partner in Antara. Hello. Hi, 400 episodes later. Yeah. Well, it took 400 to get you on. You're you're on 433 or so. Yes. And now this is like eight, something eight 30 or so. So every 400, you're going to be like, yeah, like a cicada. Yeah. Exactly.

You're the cicada of comedy. I've always said that about you. Yeah. What have you been up to in 400 episodes? Oh, you know, little things. Did it take you 400 episodes to write this book? Yeah, let's say, let's say I did. You started the day after that previous episode, right?

Yeah, because the book is about myself doubt So the last time I did the show I just it really sent me reeling into a crisis of identity and Self and so here I am back. Yes. Yes, what I've learned the book You mentioned in the in the subtitles is considered the subtitle to me myself an imposter So it's the part that is after the title, but before the author. I think that's the part It's the part that like explains what the book is about because if it just was unreliable narrator Yeah, partner and chairla. It would be like

What the fuck? I don't want this unreliable Yeah, I prefer to read books where the narrator is like telling me what actually happened. You know, none of this Lolita humburt humburt bullshit for me. I never read it. I never read Nabokov. It's it's it's it I first read laughter in the dark, which is a classic as far as I'm concerned. It's my favorite. But then Lolita is so good, but you feel weird suggesting it to anyone as a man who's older than 17, because you have to go like,

oh no, it's actually satirical and really good. It's not just about a dude trying to bone down, if there's no other way to say it. So I... One of the pivotal selections and bone down literature so I feel like I can't recommend it to you. Yeah, yeah, but check it out But I it's really good. Should I do the audiobook? I wonder who does the audiobook? Hmm Probably um, I want to say like uh Dr. Oz. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you'd be great at it.

Yeah, yeah. It's so funny, because he's like the Wizard of Oz. But then he's like less than that. He's like, oh no, no, I'm just a doctor. Well, he's a Wizard of Oz, but he went to Med School. That's a good point.

Yeah. That's a great way to look at it. Yeah. Wonder what he's up to these days. Right. So just doing narration for books now exclusively. Isn't your politician? I can't even assume everybody. That's up to these days? I. So just doing narration for books now exclusively. Isn't your politician? I can't even assume everything.

That's why I meant after his Senate run dissipated and did not come to fruition. I wonder what he's up to. He's just rattling around the house. Audio books. Audio books. Did you do the audio book for this? I did. I love this.

It was hard. Have you done an audio book before? No, we decided not to do the audio book for our book because that's just the podcast. I didn't know that was an option. It was not that they were upset. It was not that they were upset. I did not know that when you sell a book, you also sell the audiobook part of it along with it.

So when I said, oh no, we don't want to do it. There was a little bit of consternation, but a wonderful company Abrams Brooks. They Brooks Abrams Brooks Abrams Brooks books. Who put out this one? What do we have here? Viking. Yeah, Penguin Viking. Penguin Viking. So you did the audio book and it was grueling. It was grueling it just in that. It's kind of a personal book and the first time I read it out loud was in front of two strangers. We're very kind, but it was like a director and a sound engineer. And it's just weird to read, you know,

personal stuff in a void and then occasionally have them be like, can you say that again about your scar on your heart? And you'd prefer not to, obviously, but. I prefer not. I prefer one take. Would they give you, yes, you're like a Frank Sinatra. Yeah, thank God.

I love Frank Sinatra's whole thing was he wouldn't do coverage. Oh. Because he's like, no, I do one take. He wouldn't do a second take and he wouldn't do coverage because he's like, we're making one movie. We're not making two movies. Oh my gosh. Genius. That is such a good line. But would they tell you things like, hey, you know that intensely personal story? Could

you just like jazz it up and make it make it a little like brighter in your voice and stuff like that? Yeah. They're like, can you do it again with, but sound less like you? Um, well, let's talk about the book. It's unreliable narrator me, myself, and Imposter Syndrome. I, of course, was sent this book proudly, unlike Gary Goldman's book. What? And no, your people were very thorough.

I got the book weeks and weeks ago. And you didn't get his? I, he never sent his, yeah. He's, he's trying to pull a, oh, I'll do it after the fact. Do you think he doesn't actually have a book? I don't think he has a book. I think it was all lies. I think last episode of comedy banking was all just a false narrative.

I honestly admired that level of gift. I did too. Like, well, he got him on the show. He was a member of our One Timers Club. Wow. So it worked for him. And my book is about feeling like a fraud. So really the fact that I actually wrote a book is Ruins My Integrity.

Well, it also ruins, I was thinking this as I was reading it, Ruins, the premise of your book. The fact that you finished the book means you're not a fraud because hardly anyone can ever finish a book. I know. So like what now? I just, something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life and I think think about for another 400 episodes. Yeah okay so you have

another episode in mind. I have another book coming out in eight years. But talk about Imposter syndrome. What it means why you have it and what what the book is about. I don't know why I have it, but in Postus Syndrome, as I understand it, is it in spite of your accomplishments or whatever you've done, you feel like you don't deserve anything you've earned, and in fact, people are fools for letting you do anything. See, this is very close to home for me, because the difference, I think, between you and me, is you have it and it's undeserved and I have it and it's just the reality.

But that's how all imposters feel. Oh no, no, no, no, no. The audience feels that way too. It's just I somehow, you know, white privilege, straight white male. I just, you know, I, I failed upwards. So, but I'm cognizant of it. Okay. Well, but okay. But then does that make you an imposter or syndrome or just an imposter? Justin and posture. Okay. I have imposter syndrome, not imposter syndrome syndrome. I see. I see. I see it. Yes. Okay. Yeah. But so really we're two sides of the same coin.

We are a lot like Joker and the Batman, a fan of Heath Ledger's performance in the Dark Knight. It was great. It was iconic. It truly was one of the only posthumous Oscars. Or we love to talk about this. Um, I think he's dead so I think it's okay. It's not, uh, it's not really affecting the strike either way. I guess we did talk about Frank Sinatra. Oh, that's true. Yeah. The sex should really come out and clarify. Can you talk about dead celebrities on podcasts? So you know, we can't talk about your work, of course, but you do have a lot of accomplishments,

and we've known each other for a good amount of time. When did we start getting it? When did, when did you move to LA and start doing it? I mean, you started before that, right? Yeah, I lived in New York for the past 10 years, but I think we first met when I lived in LA the first time around, which was like 2010 to 2012. And you're a great standup comic,

and you would do the shows around town, as well as my show all the time, and you have a lot of accomplishments. And yet, reading the book, you have felt like you don't deserve any of them. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it's more, I have more suspicion for people feel like they do deserve everything. Interesting. Because I'm like, why? Why you feel that way? It all, it's a show business, especially it just all feels like a big random lot. Yeah, yeah. But when you're young and you're starting out,

you have to believe that we were talking about this with Gary last week, you have to believe that what you're doing has some worth, otherwise why would you continue? So you sort of have to have this belief in yourself of like, no, no, I'm good, right? Even though like in hindsight, you are bad. Everyone's bad when they start.

Yeah. But you have to believe you're good. So, but then the people who once they make it, they don't just go like, Jesus Christ, I really lucked out. Those are the people who are really strange. Yeah. Well, I think you, yeah, I think you're right. You need some level of delusion to be able to even hack it those first few years.

But then I think I've gone to a point where I'm like, well, nobody has stopped me and this is really on everyone else now. It's their fault. Yeah. Yeah. I can't take the blame for everything. Exactly. Yeah.

Did you go through a lot of your career kind of thinking like, what point do these people wise up? And when do they start saying like, hey, this is not working out for you. Maybe you want to look into a different career. Well, I've had jobs that don't work out. Believe it or not, I haven't booked everything I've auditioned for. And I think I know, considering what most people's stats are.

But I, yeah, so I think I, you know, considering what most people stats are. But I, yeah, so I think I, you know, use the times that don't work out as the reality and then the times that do work out as like weird lottery wins, like you said. Right. So the book is, it's not all technically about this subject, although that's sort of the, everything falls under that umbrella. These are all essays about different topics

that kind of have to do thematically with that topic. Yeah, we just, yeah, self-doubt and, yeah, feeling like unsure of my place. And I think I talk about body image and relationships and mental health. So just like feeling kind of my way through all these kind of more messy. Right.

And it's, I mean, this is no surprise to any fan of your comedy. It's also very funny though. It's not just something that talks about, like, you know, you could, you could just give the definition of an imposter syndrome and that's it. And that's it. All right, I'm out of here.

Yeah, yeah. That's what a lot of people would do, I bet. Oh, sure. I think, yeah, I think I was like, you know what? They bought the book. Let me at least do three more pages. And I feel like your third chapter or something at the end of it, you say, by the way, my editor wanted me to cut this chapter.

And I insist we leave it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do, I do a resume of failures, like a instead of my successes, I just write a resume of all the ways I failed and things I didn't get. And then my editor originally wanted to cut that, which I found very, very, very, so that you go on the end. Yeah, the failure list. But at a certain point, like, you got to fill out pages when you're writing a book, you know, it's like, you can, like, when editors come to you and go, should

we cut this? Should we cut this like pro? Yeah. We want me to write something different. Not gonna happen. Do you want another photo? I only have five. Yeah, one on the front. It's like you peaking around the book. Yeah, I said I'll be on it, but the less is better. Right. And then nothing on the back, it looks like, although this is a galley happy. Galley, but yeah, no photos on the back. Do you have blurbs on the back of the actual edition? Who's, who's, cause I have the galley that which has no blurbs?

Who's on my blurbs? Who's, who blurbed your book? I believe Amy P. Amy P. Blurbed your book, amazing. She hasn't been on in probably 600 episodes. TIG and wow. Another another old favorite of ours. It hasn't been on in approximately 500 episode. FeeBee Robinson. Of course, but she's been on very recently. Oh, all right. Well, and then John Hodgman. OK, and yeah, he was here in this very room.

Not too recently. So some of the great, some of the comedy band being favorites, many of whom have not been on the show in a long time, but have done blurbs for you. And what do they say about it? They talk about how funny it is, I would imagine. Yeah, it's a lot of the makes you feel less alone. Oh, really?

Yeah. I mean, I felt that way when I was reading. I was alone. But then I was like, but I'm also here with this book. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, I'm also on this couch. So I'm, we have a couch and a book at least here with me. Yeah. Then I looked around it everything else.

Say what you want about the book, but it's literally another object in the room besides you. Okay. No, it is very insightful and very meaningful. And a lot of the things you talk about, I think a lot of us experience. Yeah, I use a lot of outside sources. I'm someone who can't stop recommending articles and podcasts to people.

And I realized it gets annoying. So then I was like, I'll just put all my wrecks in a book. Oh, good. Yeah. Do you have any recent articles you want to recommend to? Are the seniors or me? Yeah. I read this article.

What was it in? I read an article recently in the New York Times that dark chocolate is now bad for you. That's the thing every, they, every two years they go, Hey, wine. Yeah. Red wine. Yeah. It's great for you. And then two years later they go, fuck.

Yeah. Yeah. It's bad for you now. Red wine, red flag. And I hope you haven't been drinking this. And then I just read an article. I'm going to recommend one to you just a mere hour ago. They say that the de-congestions,

what? None of them work. So they're taking them all off the shelves now. Wait, so what have they been doing? Like you take one, what's it doing? I don't know. I don't like none of them work. But then everyone says like take them.

So you do and then you're like, I don't feel any better. And then just your body gets better after a few days. You know, I guess they did work. Do you think it's all a placebo effect? Everything is a placebo, including the Vax for COVID. And we'll be right back. No.

No. No. You didn't realize you were on this episode. It's a lot's changed in the past 400 episodes. No, yeah, it's interesting. So dark chocolate no longer good for you. Well, apparently a lot of it has higher than recommended levels of arsenic and lead. Oh my God. And my doctor last time I saw him, he's like, hey, cut down the ice cream,

everything. If you have to have something sweet, like suck on some dark chocolate, I was like, you suck out some dark chocolate first of all. I know. That's a thing. I was like, that's the one. Everyone's like, well, little dark dark chocolate first of all. That's a thing. I was like, that's the one everyone's like, well, little dark chocolate is okay. And now that's not okay either. What do we do? What's what's safe to eat? My book. It's, you know, it's a little expensive for a meal, but you can probably share it with a loved one. Just cut it in half sandwich wise.

No arsenic and lead in my book. That's a good, I was about to say a good paint. Because of the arsenic? Is there arsenic and paint? Lead, that's because you said lead, that's right. I think lead paint is still in a lot of buildings. I think it is, yeah, as well as asbestos. A lot of the old buildings have all this stuff.

That's the thing, everything's gonna kill us. I think if we didn't eat dark chocolate, if we didn't drink wine, if there wasn't his bestos, if there wasn't let paint. If we still die. No, I think we don't still be alive. But the earth would be too crowded. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't mind dying because it's like, I gotta make room for the next few people, you know what I mean? Yeah, totally. I'm totally pro death. Oh. Ha. Ha. Um, the book is out now. It came out last week.

We're finding out probably around the time that this is released, where you sit on the New York Times bestseller list. Oh, God. Where do you think you're coming in? You want to make a predictions? Oh, I hate chart. I hate the pop charts. You hate the pop charts.

Yeah. So do you hate charts and Gen. Do you hate the the whole like putting a value on art awards? Yeah, I hate rankings. I hate values. Is it I'm not just a number Scott. That's right. Although I would say you're a 10 in terms of your talent. Oh boy And other things, but I want to comment Wait, I was told I would be given a rating. I told you I might be it beauty. A rape body when I gave in here. This is, well, I hope you do very well.

It's a great book. I personally, I would recommend all of our listeners going on buying it and then making it rocket to the top of the charts. Oh, yeah, that would be great. Did you feel like when you wrote a book, you kept checking the ratings? Well, I didn't have to check because the minute that it hit number four

on the New York Times bestseller list, they contacted me very excited. Wow, wow, wow. But I share that with all of the contributors, of course. But no, a very, I definitely felt the pressure of like, they kind of expected it to hit. Of course. So, it's like, where is it going to hit? But then they were still very excited when it did. Yeah.

Yeah, but I don't know. It's a different cat. I feel like yours is in a different category that's harder to compete in. Yeah. So, yeah. So, don't feel bad if you don't hit number four or higher. It's one of the only auto-erotic cookbooks out there right now. One of the only ones that's there.

That's a part that we haven't talked about about the book is. I mean, I really wanted to kind of surprise readers, but I guess I said it. Yeah, but around chapter five or so, it just gets deep. Yeah, but I kind of ran out of personal material. I just started to pivot genre wise. Have you always wanted to write a book or I just find it too hard to do? Like every once in a while someone will go,

what if you came out with a book and other, I mean, the comedy band-backed book had a lot of people involved in it. But like one that I personally do, I kind of just go like, that seems like so much work. I think the idea, the idea of it is appealing. And then once you start,

you're like, this is the worst decision I've ever made. Has there ever been someone who gets a book deal who turns it in early? Dan Brown. Dan Brown, really? Yeah, I think so. This motherfucker. And it shows, right? Yeah. it's like do three more drafts

There's the bestseller list just for him. Is there just Dan Brown books? Yeah, Dan Brown books Did you turn it in late where people constantly going we need? Yeah, years late years late But they're happy now right yeah, and I could blame like I could blame a pandemic I am an editor who had a baby, like I really threw everyone else on. Okay, first of all, pandemic, you have more time and you're editor having a baby. That doesn't affect you. It meant she couldn't give me no.

You don't want those. You just need to finish. But how did it feel when you, you typed those magic words that every author loves to type the end? I typed the end at the end of every page. So I could recreate that feeling. Is it something where you went back and we're constantly rereading chapters going like, oh, God, this sucks and rewriting them. And yeah, but then I was like, you're never going to read this and be happy with it.

So you're just going to have to kind of let it be. But standups like that too, where you can just tweak forever. I feel like every book you ever read, especially these ones written by comedians or memoirs and stuff like that. The first five chapters have been written for like over and over and over, like 20 or 30 times. And then the last few chapters are all like,

I got to turn this in. So they're all first drafts. And that's every script you ever read, by the way, as well. Totally. And there's always a chapter where it's just like, and also this about me. Yeah, and I know this doesn't fit. But we needed another 20 pages.

Well, it's a great, I, of course, those are other books. Your book is a major monumental achievement, unreliable narrator, me, myself, and Imposter Syndrome. It's out there in stores right now, and you can hear the audio book and just imagine a part of being badgered by these two strangers. She's never met before giving her notes

in between every sentence. I assume they stopped you at every sentence. Yeah, yeah, and I just wanna say they were really nice and they did buy me coffees. They bought you coffees or the office had coffees? Yeah, they expensed I just want to say they were really nice and they did buy me coffees. They bought you coffees or they the office half coffee. Yeah, they expense coffees for me. Hmm, that's different. I mean, if they were to be like, hey, Aparna, I know we could expense this,

but I'm going to buy this personally for you. I mean, they took out their credit cards. Were they business credit cards, though? Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. This is this is. Were they business credit cards though? Maybe. I don't know. This is, this is, I don't think these guys are, are they men by the way, or I bet they were women. Is that sexist of me?

Oh, yeah. Do you think they're dating? Were they in love? I don't think they were together romantically. I hope they had love though in their lives. But together against me, yes. You knighted for it. Against your performance.

Yes, yes. Well, either buy the book or listen to the book, but don't read it. No, either buy and read the book or buy and listen to the book. This is going to be a good time. Should last you, depending on how fast you read, you could last you anywhere between three hours to 1800 days to read. And it's an incredible achievement. Congratulations. This is your first, right? It's my first. It's my first. Yeah. Well, you write another one. Aparna and Charla will return. Let's talk. You should put that in the end. Okay,

we're talking 400. To be continued. All right, we have to take a break. When we come back, you can stick around, right? We have some great guests. Yeah. Some musicians and actress. Yeah. When we come back, we're going to have more A part of more comedy bang bang we'll be right back after this. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM we're back. Aparna and Nancherla is here. Uh unreliable narrator me myself and imposter syndrome. Um, this has this. my particular copy has advanced,

uncorrected proofs. No, that's on every copy. That's on every copy, really. Yeah, that's on the published version. So the uncorrected, that's way the view. That was an artistic choice. This one, by the way, says, not for sale. Like I'm gonna turn around to make, try to sell it.

By the way, you can sell anything. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's like with screeners, where they do not distribute. It's like, well, who else is this for? Then friends and family. Exactly.

You shouldn't say that, but, oh, of course, right now. Yeah. Let them come after us for the screeners. What are they gonna do? Let me work. All right, we need to go to our next guest. He's a musician.

This is very exciting to talk to a musician. Have you ever, do you play music? I took a lot of years of piano lessons and I never practiced. Oh really? So could you play right now if you only under duress? Well, gun to your head. Yeah, like I could do maybe heart and soul. Like Huey Lewis's heart and soul.

No, like the one hand. Not as good. Well, he's a musician, he's probably better than that. Please welcome to the show Kurt Slammer. Hey, how's it going, Scott? Hey, it's going really good. This is a heart out here. Oh, hi, hi, great.

Howdy. Put it there. Are you a Southern or, listen, sort of, how do people say howdy? Oh, it's my part, that's what you say. I'm from northern Tennessee. Northern Tennessee. Yeah, it's a Tennessee is a very not a big north-south divide.

Right, right. Long. I'm pretty territorial about the north part. Most people, such a narrow state. What is it about five miles in the north and five miles in the south? About five each. Yeah, I'm on the top, top four. Wow. So it's, you know,'m on the top, top four. Wow. So it's, you know, it's one of those things where outside of Tennessee doesn't seem that different.

But if you live there, you know, in northern Tennessee from a southern Tennessee. Oh, okay. Is that near Bonnaroo? That's my only Tennessee reference. I'm not personally near Bonnaroo. Okay, no, sorry. And I hope to get there someday.

I've never, never been. I think you, how far away is it from North Tennessee? Bonnaroo is about, I can, my part of North Tennessee is far from Bonero. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, yeah, it's such a long flat state. Yeah, you can be both in the northern section and be I'm closer to my southern Tennessee neighbors than I am to parts of North. They're right. Right? Because this is the way this stays the way. Are you on the left? Left, you're on the left. That's what that's the, I'm an LN. Okay, you know, and we call it the left, it's not the West.

Yeah, that's right, LNR. Look, you fancy Northerners like to be all whatever about your compass, but working class people, you just look at a map, you've done right. Why are we putting on errors when we look at maps? Just call it left and right. This is to be west,

this all be one people and just say left and left. And then call it top bottom. Top bottom left. We should, that's when we look at maps. Just call it left and right. This is have to be west. Yes, this I'll be one people and just say left and left. And then call it top bottom. Top bottom left. We shit. That's another. That's another. It's so fucking annoying when people are like, oh, Northwest.

I agree. It's like we leave a little bit of hitchcock. Yeah. A partner are you gonna say something? I'm so sorry. No, I was just getting upset. I couldn't even speak. Yeah.

You look pretty, you look pretty live it. We're both I rate right now, I don't know if you. I feel the same way. Yeah. These map, these map readers, these cartographers. First of all, you're a map maker. You know who needs the fancy name? Cartographer.

Cartographer. Uh, you make maps, pal. Yeah. And by the way, you're not that great at it. Anyone can do what you do. And you have been replaced permanently. You think cartographers are mad about the map industry. They must be. They have to be remembered.

You used to go into a map store. Oh, I used to love going and just sorting through the maps. Sure. Used maps, new maps. Yeah, you used to know. Or the map section of a bookstore, the app. Oh, yes, yes, yes. But no, I'm talking about these big full map stores.

Full map stores. First of all, they were replaced by the big full map stores full map stores. They first of all they were replaced by the big Chain map stores. Oh, yeah, and I used to like the mom and pop map stores Yeah, and then the big the box stores with all the maps came in Yeah, now the now the internet It's been a sad decline. Yeah, the internet's map Right, just one map one guy. one zoom yeah definitely one guy uploads it never wouldn't use it do you think the guy call it who drives around the

Google car you know that takes pictures of everyone for their maps did you consider himself to be a cartographer or she I bet I guess I'd have to watch him driving and be like if he's driving in a smug way then yes and if he's driving in a friendly or what if he's a woman of the people what if he's driving in a smug way, then yes. And if he's driving in a friendly way. Or what if he's in a woman of the people way? What if he's harried? Like, I have so many streets to drive down and he's over yourself, pal.

Get over yourself. He uses ways. You were thinking it was good? That's a good question. Like, he's using ways. Yeah, what's he using together? Yeah, he has no idea where he is. I see a way.

I love to catch a Google Street map guy using ways. Yeah. I've seen one in the wild. It's like seeing a leprechaun. Every time it's hot when you see that car. Yeah. And at this point, it's like, you already did all this. Didn't you?

Yeah. Where are you back? I try to do something funny. What do you do? I try to do like a funny pose. I tell you, well, you don't have a lot of time to prepare. Maybe you, if you're with a friend and you go like, oh, pretend you have a gun and we're in the middle

of a stick up. I'll do that a lot. Even if it's not with a friend, let us go to a nearby person, drop to my knees, put my hands behind my head and scream. No. How is that received? Requires some explaining, but after the fact,

if you point at the map cards, it's usually they get it. They usually get it. Yeah, you ever seen these map cars? I think it's like you're saying it's like a leprechaun You see it once and you're like something good's gonna happen. You see it twice This is this is banking a lot of rules associated with that. Oh, yeah, you got to know It's like the first time you see these robots delivering packages. It's thrilling, but then anytime after that, just tip them over. They look like the enemy to me.

They are. Well, they are. They're taking the place of a human person, unless the one exception is if there's a human person with a joystick driving it around. If it's a one to one, if it's a one to one, it's okay, or a two to one, like two, like maybe it's a two person job, even better. But then we're creating jobs. If the robot is so hard to control, you need two people. Sign me up.

That should be legal. That's allowed. To make robots that only two people can control. Yes. And one guy walking along side going, doing good. That's, I think that that should be the plot of any new Terminator movie is they everyone decides, okay, SkyNet and all that kind of stuff.

We're all right if we make Terminators if two people have to control them, right? Have they just delivered food? Sure they delivered food. That might be the next movie is to explore the IT support team that created the Terminator. Because you're Chimichangas. Do you want me to leave them by the door? Cut to some guy. Joyce, two guys. Two guys. At least. At least. That's a good point. So you're a musician. I have an album that I'm promoting. You have an album. That's great.

Primarily a Blues Rock guitarist. Okay, what does that mean? Blues slash rock or blues rock? Blues hyphen rock rock with the blues based in the tenants of the blues. Correct, like inspired by the by the musician's sip of the blues. Let's create a rock song. So this is not it's maybe not even blues music, but it's inspired by blues. It's primarily rock,

tilting and skewing towards blues. I would not say that it's blues skewing towards rock. Rock is the primary protein of this meal and blues is sort of the garnish or the spice. This sounds great. So it's like rock that's like down on its look. Yeah, it's right. It emotionally speaking.

Yes, that's rock that's got some complaints or some demands. Yeah, so what, so how long have I, look, I'm going to be honest. Hey, I apologize, I've never heard of you. That's quite, I don't know. That's all right. That's why I'm excited to be on the show to try to promote my career. Yeah, great.

So, how many, is this your first record? Oh, no, no, no. I've made upwards of 30 albums. Wow. Oports of self-released. With some moderate, I play in a local pub up in LN Tennessee And I got my local fan base who tends to buy my records and I do all right teach lessons and such I make it okay, but I've never been able to how much you make every year

It's a little bit personal question, but I mean I just you mentioned it first So I feel like you open the door. It's not, I probably, between 50, 60,000 all told. Just the self-releasing. You got to put the chores, lessons, the last corporate gigs. All right, that's respectable though. Yeah. Yeah, but you want to get your numbers up. Trying to get, trying to get up there.

What would you like to make? Well, I've thought about it so much in terms of just salary, but like, just put any, like any number. $100,000 a year. That's as high as you wanna go. I don't know me like, for where I'm at? Starting goals. I'm not saying it's starting goal, I'm saying like.

I think I could do. Shoot for the moon, what do you wanna do? And where I live, real estate is probably less like than out here. Sure. If I had a hundred grand a year, I could do so. So you're putting a cap on it at a hundred grand. I mean, I don't wanna put a cap on it.

You're asking me what I'm saying I'm saying You can name any number in the world. All right. How much do you want to make a year? $200,000? That's it. I don't know. I never thought this big before hang on hang on Let me you know people make more than that out there and never consider even musicians I've yes, I of course. I mean somebody likes staying or whatever Yeah, one of the world's greatest tantric sexers. Yeah, I think I think how much that brings in. Yeah, I don't know. Do you think he gets paid for it? Do you think his wife pays him to have sex with her for a celebrity? I feel like it so at that level of celebrity

There's nothing you're doing that's not monetized. Yeah, that's a good point. So, okay, so you wanna make a hundred thousand a year. Yes, but or for, it's not limited, okay, I'll go high. Yeah, I mean, I'm here to try to step up. Okay, so you're trying to make an extra 40 grand this year. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, we'll see. Yeah. So, let's try to make the rounds and, you know, my wife, she's like, you gotta get yourself out there,

you gotta get married. I'm married, just gonna be even married. Oh gosh, what has it been? 17 years. 17 years. That's a long time. Yeah. I got I found a I found a great partner She is a musician. Yeah, she plays a little piano. Yeah Not as much as me and she was busy raising the raising the kids on social like sort of took a sideline So you basically were what noodling around on your guitar while It sort of took a sideline. So you basically were what? Nudeling around on your guitar while I don't know if I would have to rinse it that way.

I focused a lot on my Could have like you could have split it equally And you could be equally as good at your instruments, but instead she just decided This is the way it worked out. It wasn't something we sort of sat down and consciously You never sat down and talked about this. We had some conversation. You just disappeared into the garage. We were kids, we were kids, we met in a band and we were, oh wow. You were kids this is 17 years ago.

I mean, we were in our early 20s, like we had a lot of growing. You're only 30 something? What is that? What does that mean? I gotta say, you look 53 at least. Whoa, that's insane. That's insane.

Look, I love the sun and I love my cigarettes. So I guess it's put some miles on the combination. It's a bad combination, but nothing better than a hot day. Just smoking a hot cigarette. That's what I think. I mean, I guess it seems crazy to people, but when I see a hot day, I'll hit the beach with the two packs of Marble Rose. I can't even say it.

You're so excited. I'm so crazy right now. Yeah. I'm a young, young at heart, old and skin. So you've been playing and this is your 30th album or so. Of course. What makes this one different? Well, I'm trying it a little bit of a different tact. I'm trying to sort of reach a newer audience. This one, a friendlier approach, I suppose.

What does that mean? Friendlier approach. Warmer sort of. What does that mean, friendlier approach? Warmer sort of war old records been like. It's agonistic. No, I wouldn't say so. I sort of had my eyes open to that, well, coming from the Blues Rock tradition, they were a bit, I didn't even realize it,

more sexually oriented than I had intended. What is that mean? A lot of blues rock is sort of, I don't know, it's either through in you window or even directly about the act of intercourse and love making. Right. We all like to do it, or I'm not all of us. It's a popular activity. 99% of the people of the world probably.

I've looked at the stats of the A-Sat. It's got to be 99%. Probably 99, I would say. Yeah, we enjoyed doing it for You know as long as we can and we're not sting levels. No most of us. I'm not we're not getting paid To have sex usually all those sex work his work. I feel like a part of I also I heard the interview you sounded pretty hesitant before My main takeaway from that first interview is, the part I think sex work is morally shaped. I think it's work, but just because I feel like does anyone really want to work.

Yeah. I mean, like that. I see it right. Yeah. Yeah. Like even sex workers are like Monday. I would imagine that's true. Yeah. TGIF, I finally can stop having sex. Yeah. But, uh, so yeah, what were some of your older songs like? Let's true. Yeah, TGIF, I finally can stop having sex. Yeah. But, uh, So yeah, what were some of your older songs like? Uh, let's see. I had, uh, let's, let's bump it. That's a sound too bad.

I didn't think so either. Pantheon of blues. Yeah. I didn't think so either. I had a pelvic time. Oh. Oh, okay. Uh, I had hot sex.

Let me etch it. I found really being you endo. Yeah, and you're trying to get at the sex. Let me etch it. I found really big new endo. Yeah, and you're trying to get at the sex? In that instance, yes. I mean, the activity of hot sex, let me approach. I guess, I mean, I, I, I, I, maybe make more sense to be like, let me have you. I needed you back when I was doing that record.

I mean, I, I didn't parse the lyrics too much. I'd love to be the John Landau to your Bruce Springsteen. He's the manager of that gentleman. Yes, but also produces the record. Okay, well, I could have used it, because it's mostly a self-produced effort. I mostly just groove, and I sort of let the words kind of just flow, and so slam it is another one of mine.

Slam it. Is there a parenthetical on that? No, that's why I didn't think these were so bad. It just slammed it. Honestly, they don't sound so bad when I ask you what your old songs were gonna be. I thought they would be a worse. Look, I understand the guests on the show

tend to come from a heightened and absurd place, but I'm telling you, like the ones you're telling me are mild. Maybe that I don't want to slam it. Maybe I don't slam it. Maybe you don't need to change. Here's the thing, I went up to my local bar, Ellen Tennessee. And I played slam it. Maybe you don't need to change. I went here's a thing. I went up to my local bar Ellen Tennessee And I played slam it and some college students came up to me and said that's an offensive song

You're excluding people who don't have that attitude towards sex. Oh, and they made a good argument They thought it was exclusionary to people who did not want to slam it the words they used were hostile objectifying Sort of I don't think it have to be about sex It just is about sex. It was about sex. What were you talking about slamming? I mean, I don't want to get to I would slam in parts together. What parts? Genitals Like just two random genitals without a vagina primarily or I suppose it could be a penis and a penis I don't I mean when I'm in a bottle penis and a bottle. Thank you a penis and a penis. I don't, I mean, when I'm in a bottle, penis and a bottle, thank you. A penis and a vagina. Vagina and a vagina, although it's hard to smell.

Mouth and a vagina, just slam it. Just like, let's get excited about the friction act. You know, honestly, I never thought through the consequences of my demands too much, but I don't think you have to. I mean, these sound very anodine. They resented, right? Like not well really fun out.

These colleges came up to me and I was like, I've been a monster this whole time. I don't know, partner, I don't mean to speak. Look, I'm a different generation. I'm a little bit older than you. So maybe you can speak to the younger generation. Does this sound bad to you? Maybe they just don't like your music.

What do I have to say? I got a second. This might be the case. Well, let me think back a little bit. Was is all under the preamble of oh by the way Your song suck for other reasons Including this Well, they did begin the conversation by saying this ain't working And these are just they came up at the bar. I'm I'm on stage. I'm on plug in from the amp

They come up. I'm thinking they're going to just say as for autographs or just even you know, good. Buy a CD. Yeah. Something like that. Or hey, maybe they, this is what they lead. Maybe they feel excluded because they like good music. Well, they, gosh, maybe they walked up to me in a little formation and the leader of them. What kind of form? What's the name of four? I'm saying three in front and one but they just they had a very e-game front one in back.

Oh like these? Sort of they I mean they walked with a steady no it wasn't a it was pretty shit. Were they marching together? Oh, but they had a very steady and even gate. I mean you would have thought they were. I don't consider people walking to be a formation. You had to see these guys.

They look like they were standing on room. But why were they doing this? I don't know because they just had this like, did they ever come up where they like, oh, by the way, we're a co-cute. I was so on my heels. I never had a chance to parse things the way you did. I just was, I was like, oh, here comes some fans.

They seem to be a bit of an uptight sort of sort of group. But they're information. They're obviously not a Beyonce formation. Not a formation. I would be able to describe later. Not like a proud, let's assemble more just like, we have no blood or feeling in our bodies. We approach things in a machine-like way.

And they said, this ain't working. I was shocked. I was like, the whole package. They said the whole package. Smoking on stage. Oh, you're smoking on stage. Was it hot out? Very much. I couldn't resist. There's no AC smoking on state. Was it hot out? Very much.

I couldn't resist. There's no AC in this bar. It was hot under those lights as well. So what better time to just light up a stage? Me want to light up. And I did. And I'm playing slam it. And I'm playing.

Let's bump it. And I'm having a great time. And they're like the same working. Like you're out of date. You know what I mean? Oh, so wait. So their whole thing is, these were good double entendres for 40 years ago.

I guess so. They mean nothing now. That's how I feel. 40 years ago, I wouldn't have been born yet, of course, which I know is a shock to you. That's right. But yes, yes, but that would be their infection. So they, they just think you're like,

out of touch, like your attack, past, past, past, time or something. Yeah, you're corny. Corny, yes, exactly, exactly. Well, they did use the word hostile. And they said it was, uh, unlikeable. Uh-huh, the gross was what another person said. Maybe that's off putting this thing with the small ones.

Also, maybe it's you physically. Oh, that could be. Well, I was, I mentioned I was gonna rate everyone's bodies when they came in here. That's true. I gave a partner a tan. I would, hey, I was going to rate everyone's bodies when they came in here. That's true. I gave a partner a 10. I would, hey, I understand that I'm coming in way below that. Look, my business is not my looks.

All right, I understand. Although looks play into rock and roll startup, you know, they do great. They do great. What are your album covers like? They're mostly close-ups in my face. Kind of look at your feet. Because your feet are disgusting. You came in here. No, I didn't think to put my feet on the cover look at your feet. Because your feet are disgusting. You came in here.

No, I didn't think to put my feet on the cover close up to your feet. Not exclusively. I have some full body shots from my feet are visible. I do have one where I'm tapping the kick drum. Feel the play of the kick drum. No, but just for the sake of the album, it was kind of like feel the beat.

I thought it might be. So for that one, it's a close up with the kick drum, right? And it's like my shin and foot. And then I'm leaning my head down into it just so they can see my face. This sounds very hard to me. Well, they're all still published. It's not a ton of, there's not a huge marketing teams

that go into this. Okay. So anyway, I'm just, they made a great argument and they changed the way I looked at music. So now you're changing everything. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to be more inclusive and friendlier and warm. So what are what are your new? Well, the album is called hugs between friends. All right. And I'm just trying to like, that sounds a little

like someone trying to convince someone. Yeah. It's still pretty. It's still pretty physical. It's still pretty. Well, it's hugs between friends, right? I mean, it still sounds like someone going like, Hey, this isn't bad, right? Wait, it was hugs between friends. So you think slam it. That's what you think. That's better. You think that's nothing.

Because that is more direct. Yeah, and also slam it is like two people who have consented to having sex are going to slam it. That's wonderful. That's joyous. That's how the, the, we propagate the species. I am shocked to hear that I'm using like some some like 18 year old in a dorm like trying to convince someone like hey come over to the dorm

It's just hugs between friends I really am completely surprised to hear what is what are some of the other putter there Putter there. Yeah, yeah That's what you think it's gonna mean, but I think what you're trying to say is like, hey, see this down here. What? Put your hand on this. That's crazy.

What it sounds like to me. I think it's just an over correction based on your previous work. Well, I honestly didn't think it was that big of correction. I thought, dude, you're just, we're splitting hairs at this point. Like neither of them sound all that terrible. You don't think so.

Okay. Well, I hope that I've made some kind of movement in the right direction. What do you have any other, what's the whole album called? The Ames called Hugs Between Friends. Oh, it is. So the title track. What are there is the lead single?

There also is a title track, but it's not the single. You know, it's one of those. Okay. Yeah. Any other titles? Like, Synchronicity. Sure. I got a little, I got a little, like,

I got nine titles on that album. Yeah. Well, what are the other songs? Oh, let's put our arms around each other in a friendly way. Wow. It seems like you're very hypothetical. You're very... Let's put our arms around each other. Oh.

I'm not disputing the parenthetical part. You know, I just feel like you're very focused on one particular act, which is convincing someone who doesn't want to hug you to hug you. I didn't see it that way. I'm just trying to express friendship. The next one is Word Bus. Yeah, everyone who imposes a hug on someone else is just trying to express friendship. I got to think about this again. I might have to do another album. Album number 32. What happened to 31? I said I was upwards of 30. Sure. I think I have 30. Well, I had a demo. Oh, God. I count that one. Well, I had a demo. E-N-E-P. Oh, got it, got it.

I count that when I personally am counting my work. Oh, is that one? 30 LPs. What? The EP. Sex time is soon. Sex time is soon. That was an EP.

I was 21 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like you sound like one of these robots. We were talking about the terminators who's never experienced sex who's trying to... I mean, I'm married. What is sex like to you? What is sex like to you? What is sex like to you?

You know, if you bump your parts, you like, you know, you line up your palvices and you just line up for your pelvis. Yeah, you line up your hip bones pretty square and you just sort of, so they're flush. Yeah, you flush up the hip, you take a while, you flush up the hip bones, you move forward pressure and then reverse and then I don't think you've had sex before. I have children. I have to have a happily married. If I go to every adoption agency and look your name up, I'm not going don't think you've had sex before. I have children. I have to have a happily married. If I go to every adoption agency and look your name up,

I'm not gonna find that you've adopted your three children. Maybe some of them. I mean, I don't maybe some. Maybe some. I can't remember. Maybe I adopted some of these a while ago. You've adopted all three of your children. I don't know.

I've never had sex with your wife. I've admit it. I'm not, that's an insane thing to admit. Why don't you write about what you know, write about how the fact is you don't know what sex is and you wonder what it's like. You think that'd be a popular topic for a blues rock album I've never seen. What are some of the titles you can come up with that? I don't know, like, you know, what's going on down here?

I feel like hugs between friends. Cool advice. Yeah, I guess you're right probably. I feel cool. Where does this thing go? You think that'd be a great title? Sure. If you were my John Lando, you'd be like,

write a song called, Where does this thing go? This tastes different than what I thought. I have to admit, it's intriguing. Sure. And then the other thing is, is like, aside from your, I'm not, by the way, I am not confirming. You have to stipulate it.

I think maybe I adopted some of my kids. Okay, aside from your art, why don't you just have sex with wife? What are you talking about? I do, I'm constantly having sex with her. We're sexing. If I called her right now, well, that's, she's busy. She's busy?

I'm sure. Give me your phone. We're gonna give me, no, give me your phone. That's my phone. That's my phone. What are you doing? I'm gonna call her. All right, I'm dialing the, okay.

Wifey poo. That's her. I assume that's her. Oh, that's cool. She's call her all right. I'm darling. Okay. Wifey poo. That's I assume that's her I hope that's a little piece. All right Hello hi. Is this uh, Sherlyn Sherlyn slammer hi. Yeah, Sherlyn. What's happening? Hi. This is Scott Accommodie Bainbing. Hi. How can I do you for? Uh, I, this is maybe a weird question. Uh, you've never had sex with Kurt, have you? You should see my body. I have three kids and you would be amazed to see that this body, well they didn't come out of this body, but I'm a mother of three.

And look at this body. Well, you can't see it because it's a phone, but you can see my body. I'll tell you what, I don't look like I've had three kids. I'll tell you that right now, but I have three kids. You seem very defensive. You haven't answered the question. If you had sex with Kurt Slammer, are you talking about lining up our hit bones? So they're flush. Yeah, well, that's hard for me. I have very loose hips, so I swing and I swing. Sink shot. We can never seem to get them lined up between you and me and the lamp up. Look, guys, we need to have sex here.

I don't mean, I don't want to be involved in this. I'm just saying like the royal we, like the two of you. I think we do have sex, we embrace almost every day. We have many hugs before my friends. You guys are friends? I'd like to think that Cheryl and I are friends. I'm very similar to my best friend. Yeah, when people say that, I think it's very weird.

Like, you think that's weird? My best friend is Steve. I'm not gonna get married to him. Oh, boy, oh boy. I got married to Coolop. He's like the girl I wanted to date. Well, you sound like a Southern Tennessee boy. I'll tell you right now.

I don't know. Aparna, any suggestions for, for, I know that you didn't think you were coming on a sex advice podcast, but this is what happens sometimes. Yeah, no. When body starts laughing. from doing the wild thing. Listen, I feel like if sex to you is a hug between a friend, then who am I to tell you otherwise?

But this is from someone who doesn't consider sex works if he works, so I don't know if you really want to take this kind of advice. Yeah, you know, maybe it's easy to take it easy in the bedroom. Why is all the slamming? Take it easy in the bedroom. Yeah. I think you write that down. I just think you'll, that's a good title. Take it easy in the bedroom. Why is all the slamming? Maybe you can get in the bed. I think you write that down. I just think you'll, that's a good title.

Take it easy in the bedroom. Take it easy in the bedroom. Cheryl, and what do you think of that? Take it easy in the bedroom. Scott, he's still there. Hello? Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, one of my adopted kids is crying.

I gotta go. Oh, well, crying about what? Everything all right there? No, it looks like she slipped on some hot chocolate. Oh, no. It wasn't dark chocolate at all. I know we're not supposed to be eating that anymore. Full of arsenic and lacy. What is that?

A letter thing. Yeah. All right, well, I really think you should try sex. I think you have fun doing it. Last week, it already comes soon. Hips too loose, bye. Hips too loose. Right, that would be.

Hips too loose. If you're not going to have sex, even though I think you'd enjoy it, just, I mean, just, just, right about what you know, her hips are too loose. You can't quite figure out how to line up your body's correct. I'll try it, but I'm going to, if you don't mind, can I email you? Maybe slip it on chocolate. Slip it on hot chocolate. That's, I mean, that sounds too much like.

Slip it on hot chocolate. An actual double entendre. And for a little, it sounds like a like slipping on hot chocolate. And actual double entendre. And for a really, it sounds like a early 70s rolling stones kind of situation. All right, we have to take a break. Why? Because we literally have to have commercials on this show. I respect it. Okay. Well, when we come back, we're going to have an actress. That's very exciting. I can't wait. We

have artists. Yeah, we have an actress right over here as well. But she's an author primarily now with a new book. We have an artist. Yeah, we have an actress right over here as well, but she's an author primarily now with my book. We're gonna come back. We'll have more Aparna and Cherla will have more Kurt Slammer. We'll be right back with more comedy band-bang after this. Comedy band-bang, we are back. We have Aparna and Cherla with unreliable narrator,

me, myself, and Imposter syndrome in stores now, as well as on all of your e-tailors, as well as audio books. And I think this is a great Christmas gift. And well, like what type of person do you think would buy this? If you have this person in your life, who would you suggest it for? I would say anyone who is currently in between jobs,

it be has some extra time. Reading time. So anyone with a job probably doesn't have time to read the book? No, no, they should all, I mean, between jobs, like literally driving to your next job. Oh, okay, reading it while you're driving. You have too many jobs and you gotta get from one to the other. So you don't have time to read it at home, so read it while you're driving to your have too many jobs and you gotta get from one to the other. So you don't have time to read it at home.

So read it while you're driving to your second or third job. Yeah. Got it. Okay, wonderful. We also have Kurt Slammer's here musician. Theo. Now you say, hey, oh. I thought it makes it up sometimes.

Yeah, yeah. Well, look, we're human beings. We don't say hello to people the exact same way. Every single time we say hello to human beings. You are a human being right? Yes. I mean human being. Okay, because I don't want to find out you're some sort of robot who adopted three kids

and won sx because you don't have the part that they say. I could say that's a good song name. Yes, I'm a human being. I'm going to write it down. Okay. I'm going to slip it on hot chocolate. Yes, I'm a human being. Yep.

My hips are loose. All right. Well, let's get to our next guest. She's an actress and we'll find out exactly what she's been in. I don't recognize the name, but please welcome to the show for the first time. Ruth DeBooVWaw.

Scott, I've lived every actress's biggest dreams. Honestly, I've had a big three. The big three, and I won't mention anything that we're not supposed to be talking about. Sure, but the big three when we talk about acting, the big three. That every actress dreams of, and all of these were given to me by Ryan Murphy of Hollywood now here's the thing number one every actress dreams of I've had it come true for me

is that I got to have a sex scene with the leading man okay oh you got check second one my character head bells palsy I got to talk like this and bam I got that one out of the way. Every actress dreams of this. Really showing off your chops. Okay. And the third one, I don't remember what it is, but I will get back to you.

Oh, and I'm sure Ryan Murphy did it for me of Hollywood and I know we can't talk about it. Well, I feel like the people in Ryan Murphy's shows actually are talking about it. Yeah. Oh, is that right? Yeah, so I think you're safe. So, which Ryan Murphy's shows have you worked on?

Well, I know I'm not allowed to say that. How old are the women are you? You seem to have been, you've been on this earth for a good amount of time. To be honest with you, Scott, I don't want you to judge me based on what I look like now because when I was on Broadway, it's gonna rate your time.

You look good. I think you're so much a part. Do you want to hear my ranking? Or, oh, it's not a ranking. I would love to hear your body. You look good. I think you're so much. Do you want to hear my ranking? Or, oh, it's not a ranking. It's one of those. I love to hear your ranking. I woke up today. I have already been in PT twice today.

So, most of them. This will pair be twice. For different ailments. Oh, yeah. I got a knee doctor. I got a back doctor. They got me on a can. Two different appointments.

I wish you could just double up on those and they would come to the same place. But no, they all have their own offices. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. So I give you an eight, by the way. Oh, thank you. So what you would have now, I'm sorry to use foul language on your show. Oh, that's okay.

The foul are the better. Back in the day, don't look at them now. They are not a representation of what they once were, but I had what everyone in New York called the best tits in the biz. Two-thousand. And when it was your final day in whatever musical we were starring in together on Broadway, if it was your final

show, I would wait till you hit your high note. OK, I can respect the craft. I wait till you hit your high note. Anytime after you hit your high note in the show, you could look side stage. I'm going to be there in a robe. And I'm going to just going to flash you. That's what you get on your closing night.

I was starring in Guys and Dolls with Peter Gallagher, the most beautiful man in Hollywood. That's right from the OC. On his last night, I thought I'm gonna give Peter Gallagher a very special treat, so I had nothing at all underneath. Normally you just get the top, you get a flash from the top. But this time you got the full Monty. Full Monty and I put a sign on this nip, that nip,

and then down below, I had a three little piece that helps to sign and it said goodbye Peter down there, right? Oh, he looks over every hits the high note. He sees me on stage left I'm giving them the full flash holding the rope wide open He lights up like a firefly when the lights go black. He runs toward me Grayson's take I've ever made in my life is closing that road before we embraced. So he was like, hey, let's go get, uh, let's get it on. Sex, let me get at you. Sex time, let me add it.

I mean, that's a hug between friends. True hug between friends. He was gorgeous. I mean, he would walk on stage in the audience would gasp and I would go like this. I would go like this. I put my leg out like this. She let the audience know that I knew how beautiful he was. I was kind of doing it for them.

You would put your leg out in order to communicate to the audience that you knew he was as gorgeous as they thought. You would see, look like this. I put one leg out toward you. I don't need you to. And then I throw my head back in the other direction. So it looks like I'm being blown, like picture me being blown back by the way, the way you like them, the beauty.

Yes. So he would appear on stage. I'd go, and the audience liked it because I was directed for the audience at that point. Well, it was being directed by Nathan Lane and he really let me do whatever I like. He loved it. When you left for a compliment at this point in the conversation, when you just quickly they were telling the story and you mimicked what it would look like to be blown back. I was like, it looks like there's a lot. Yeah, I am authentic. I have done some high winds acting. Oh, really? I don't put that on my resume and I know we're not supposed to be

talking about it now. Well, I think if you're a Ryan Murphy actor, you're fine. So we can talk about anything you like. One day, Ryan Murphy called me up. I answered the phone. He said, a Ruth, I've got good news and I've got bad news. What do you want first? And I said, oh, no. Oh boy. What's the bad news? And he said said we're killing your character off and i said that's terrible news no i was just supposed to be a day player you know i was going to be a guest star he ended up writing me into the show right murphy liked me so much i was written onto the show was only supposed to be there for one day then he kills me off i said that's terrible news what's the good news and he said you're going to get a death scene with bird back arach

wow wait this isn't how bird back ar rag died is it because he died recently did he die on the show bird back a rag died oh no he's a wonderful man I'm so sorry yeah he's a wonderful composer and I didn't realize he was an actor but I was very upset this week about Jimmy Buffett he has a song about putting your about parts together it sure does and it's a euphemism, a double long time. He went to the bench. Which one? Which one?

Cheeseburgers and Paradise? Yes, cheeseburgers and Paradise. Oh, the cheeseburgers. And the Paradise is a woman's yam-yang cheese. Oh. I never realized that. I didn't realize that. There's also, why don't we get drunk and screw?

And I thought it was classy that he said screw. Yeah, he's not just out there saying what. He's not dirty. that one I never put together But I can hear it now. Well if you think about it It just taken the euphemism or the metaphor of screw you know if you think about it Yeah, it's funny that they call it screwing because it's a lot like you ever put a screw in like a part of Wood or something like that it's like inserting a yeah Yeah, yeah, and that of course is also the way you bump parts is one person rotates themselves three-six. Yeah, righty tidy lefty Lucy. That's

what I know. If you do too much right you just can't get off you. So you've been acting a long time it sounds like you know what an incredible career it sounds like. I'm originated Mrs. Hanigan and Annie and really the original Hanigan. On the tour show the tour originated the tour. Oh, that's not a region. Hannigan traveled all over lived in DC. Baltimore's wonderful. Both DC and Baltimore. Baltimore.

Two very different cities. Yeah. You really run the gamut. Yeah. And if you have not had a crab cake in Baltimore, you haven't had a crab cake. And I'll tell you that right now. Watch what makes them good there. Oh, well, really, it's only the only if you're having a Baltimore crab cake in Baltimore you haven't had a crab cake and I'll tell you that right now. Oh, what makes them good there?

Oh, really it's only if you're having a Baltimore crab cake, are you having a crab cake? This is like same thing with champagne and France. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, okay. What are they called everywhere else? Oh, just a crab cake, but if you just have a crab cake, it's not a Baltimore crab cake. Oh, I see. Then you're having inferior crab cake.

I understand now. So what are some of the other things that you've done? Oh, well, I was in Star Trek. I was trying to annihilate all of humanity. Oh, okay. Where you aboard. Where you? I don't think I'm allowed to say. Not right now. I can't talk about it. But also, I can't stop working with Mindy Kaling. She loves me. She just keeps it from me. I forgot. She blurred my book. She blurred your book. Oh, wonderful. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to read your book. Thank you. And, you know, speaking of unreliable narrator, I mean, I wouldn't trust everything that comes out of my yapper because my nodal is a little burnt at this point. My eggs a little poached. Do you mean that your brain is bad or?

Oh, well, you know, you know, memory is terrible. What happened to your brain? Have you had an accident? What happened to your brain? Well, I, if you notice, I do have this fancy walkin' stick. Yeah, but yeah. But, but because I have taken a few falls, you know, some urine from the dog that I didn't see on the floor.

Oh, no. Things like that. Wipe out in your own house. Ouch. So, what do you have coming up next? Well, I'm on strike as you know, having me unable to get down under the lines too much because of PT and whatnot. Oh, yeah. Well, that's okay.

You know, not everyone has to go out there, especially if you have a physical ailment. You don't have to go out there. You can support in other ways. That's right. Also, I can dream about the future jobs that will come. You know what? I do have an answer to your question. If I was going to shoot the moon and have any amount of money.

Any amount? Yes. And a part I want you to answer this as well. Oh, I can't wait to hear what you say. I think for me, it's 80 million. Because that is going to set you very comfortable for a long time. Yeah, especially yearly. That's going to be a good amount of change at the end of like five years. 80 million yearly. Yeah. Is there even that much money in the most? I'm sure you're going to say 80 million once. Is all I need. You only need 80 million. I'd take it for at least once a year or five years in a row.

You guys are out of your mind. But 80 million dollars a year, I think I would need 80 minute. Oh, no, I'd take it for at least once a year or five years in a row You guys are out of your mind about 80 million dollars a year I think I would turn into liquid. I don't even know what I would do with that much money What about you apartment? How much do you want to make a year? 800 million 800 million how many years? Five five and how many times a year? Once just once a year. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I'd like to make 801 million five times a year every year for

10 years can I ask a question about your fantasy strategy? What is that what you get up to is what's the point of limiting yourself at all on these numbers? That's my point. You could have said anything. I wish for infinite money. Great. Okay. That's what I'm shooting for.

Okay. Hugs between friends. How are you gonna do this? So just everyone in the world gives you all the money? I need all the money. All money that currently has been minted. Everyone send me all the money. I need either physical, I need it physically or wired. Well, what you

don't want to do is become a billionaire because I think people are going to start killing billionaires. Oh, you think so? I do. Starting with who? Well, I feel like now Elon Musk is going to get killed in the war overseas. He's getting involved. Yeah. In the war on cancel culture, maybe. And the war on woke. Right. It seems like he's the most powerful man in the world. So I feel like he's next. Well, I think he's a breath of fresh air.

Oh, really? I just like what he has to say. That's the LN Tennessee, yep coming out of you right now. LN Tennessee were big pro muskers, mostly his tweets. Did you ever watch that show, Ellen, and think it was about left North Tennessee? And then it's just about this woman who's a comedian? The talk show or the sitcom we talk it about?

Both. I, um, because I feel like if you watch the first one, the sitcom, you wouldn't get tricked into the second one. Mm-hmm, yeah. You wouldn't get, you'd understand where. You'd go like, I see where this is, what's happening with this.

I understand the personality behind this. You think anyone watched the second Ellen going like, oh, my favorite sitcoms back and then it's like, this is just a talk show, the celebrities? What a long, frame-wing device this is, you're thinking, waiting for the sitcom to come back. Huh, I'm a fan of both. I think she's a great lady.

Okay, interesting. Elon, I like him for his politics, not so much for his outrageousness. You think anyone has confused him with Ellen? Elon, Ellen, hmm, you think anyone's ever thought he is a talk show? They've seen, oh, there's a show called Ellen thought it was Elon. Yeah, watched it, seen this Ellen DeGeneres wondered what it was like. This must be Elon Musk.

This is what this is the person that everyone's upset about. This show is the person that everyone is upset about. In addition to inventing electricity, he does this show. Yeah, you think that's happened? I think yes. Everyone else thinks yes. Yeah, I mean, sure. And this one person has made that mistake.

Oh, sure, there's so many variables. I mean, there's no question. Yeah. So, how do you handle, can I ask another question? Yeah, please, yeah. Because I'm just curious, because you've had so many experiences. How do you emotionally deal with being an actor?

Because there must be a lot of rejection, right? Find it out you got a death scene. Mm. Yeah. What's your advice? Regardless of if it's with Birdback Racker. No, still being written off a show. How did you how did you die? Well, I died in the show. What was.

Yeah, we're not asking, by the way, how you died in life, because you're obviously still here alive. I'm still here, though I might have, you know, one foot in the grave, one foot on a banana peel, but you hang on. That's another song, too. I'll tell you, it's yours. Well, I'll tell you what. I don't remember how I was physically dying on the show, but the metaphorical death was me singing on a grand piano, lying there in a gorgeous gown while Bert Bancarac played

the piano, and I lay there on top of it singing my way off this mortal coil. Oh, very nice of Ryan to give me that scene. And then I think I was simultaneously dying of a, um, of a botched, um, facelift or something. Oh, was this on NipTuck then? Well, I'm not allowed to say the name, but I am winking at you that year. Are you? Because I think that botched facelift is kind of in P to the way. Oh yeah, I sure got stuck.

Oh, well here, let me go. I've had a simple move. Oh wow, suction cup. Oh, what is that? One of those big people used to cup their backs in an EQ puncture place? Yep, I went to a cup in place, and I usually walk out with a few of the cups.

Wait, is it take your own cup? It's not a BYOZ. I'm not supposed to do it. out with a few of the cups. Wait, is it take your own cup plate? It's not a BYOC? It's, I'm not supposed to do it. It's a, I'm a little bit of a naughty boy and I kind of pill for a few. You are a little bit of a naughty boy, I have no. I always take things when they leave me in the doctor's office alone too.

You can, those drawers aren't locked. You know, when they leave you in there to put the right on. Exactly, and all the magazines, you know, why they're so old, because everyone's taking the new ones. I've done it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Only the reader's digest. Oh really? What do you like and read? I like how they like, they shorten everything. So it's, well, I like to get the originals and see what they took out. Yeah.

It's like deleted scenes. Yeah, what do they want me not to know? Reading reader's digest is like the opposite of watching deleted scenes on a DVD. Yeah, it's just the undeleted scenes. Yeah, exactly. It's like a final cut. Yeah. And speaking of maps, I'm with you.

I think North and South make sense. Speaking of that was an hour ago. But left and right. But left and right. East and west. Where does it stop? If you go west, if you do a globe, like if you have a spinning all over your head.

Yeah, everything is west, even the things that are east. Yeah. It's a dividing line that goes up and down like the equator goes The whole thing is crazy. I don't I mean look yes. Yes, international date line and also the Greenwich Meridian line. Yeah, zero zero launch Dude, so that's how I know what a boring answer. I'm sorry. I'm interested in that. I've been to zero longitude a lot of your Albums I was reading by the way are about specific to You're not a lot I went through a map phase for those are all a couple years grouped together right yeah I got a what are some some of the song titles on some of those right zero longitude ain't worth the book

Because you got to pay to go stand on it in Greenwich England. Oh really ain't worth it. That's a long time That's very long too long. Well, it wasn't it wasn't a single It was kind of track seven or eight. You know, if you're committed for the whole ride. Pot committed. Pot committed. It's time to unleash. That was the concept album, right, where you had to be at those coordinates to listen to. Well, you don't have to, but yes, if you went, each of the song titles has a latitude

and longitude. A coordinate, you went to it. It told another story. I went to those places and put little drawings. You just left drawings that you made and all these places. I carved drawings in nearby trees or. Okay. So you're defacing the nature.

I guess. Yes. I mean, they were lovely depictions. I'm quite, I'm quite the illustrator. Oh, I told a little story. Is that a little? Let's talk to the park rangers and the people who own the trees about how lovely your depictions are. They don't like it, but they're up their own ass. And the park rangers got to get a little chill out.

They're worse than that. I'm a friend, Marjorie, who would disagree. Okay. I don't know who you're talking about. Yeah. I'm not a regular listener of the show. Kurt Slammer. Well, Ruth, huge fan of off book though. Well, if I might have related. Okay. I'll tell you what though. If I might encourage, okay, I'll tell you what though. If I might encourage you, I don't think I've been amorous with another human being. And as long as you've been alive, too, so we're in, we're together. It's not 37 in quotes. I am 37 and I have had intimate relations with my loving wife,

Sheryl and so I don't know what you are implying or even outright stating. But I'm, I'm a hump and machine. Is that one of your songs? Yes, I'm a hump in machine. Hip thrusting forward and back. Oh, well, Ruth, look, we can't unpack the fact that you haven't had sex in 37, supposedly 37 more like 53 years at this point because unfortunately we're running out of time. Why would I lie only to be 30 second? You know what I mean? We've proven that when you're asked for a number,

you really, yeah, joke. Here's my opinion. Okay. You were invented 37 years ago. Invented it. Okay. By scientists who has been working on you for 53 years.

All right. I came like turned on or whatever. Like my body had been doing. He finally was able to power you on. Okay, my body was aging for 53 minus 37 years. And then I acted. You think you're 37, but your creator knows you're 53. Okay, I see.

That's my opinion. I guess if that happened, I wouldn't know. So I can't. And your wife is also a robot. When she said her kid slipped on hot chocolate, it just means it got into wires and electrocuted it. It's a youth of it. Okay.

Anyway, these are all my, my, just opinions. We don't have time to unpack them because we are running out of time. We just have time for one final feature on the show and that is of course a little something called plugs. It's the time again to teach us where we can find your work. We can watch you there. It's plugged in. It's plugged slime.

Cover me in blood. Oh, that was beautiful. That was Cover Me in Plug Slime by Bearsly. Thank you so much to Bearsly. If you have a plug theme, either opening or closing, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs and you can be famous for a week in Bearsly. You are famous for a week. All right, let's get to the plugs.

Everyone loves them. Aparna, what are you plugging? I feel like you've are famous for a week. All right, let's get to the plugs. Everyone loves them, Apanna, what are you plugging? I feel like you've plugged my book a lot, so I'm gonna plug maps, mall maps, maps that you get at the mall. Any map you get at the mall. Will you sign these on, are you going on tour for the book or anything? Yeah, yeah.

Will you sign maps after the shows? Will you commit to that right now? Yes, yes, I will come to your local mall and I'll sign maps. And you'll sign wherever you are in the world? Yeah, yeah. I'll do one of those little stars. That's like, you're here. And great. Wonderful. The book, of course, I'll plug it again, unreliable narrator. Me, myself, an imposter syndrome. It's out there right now. Kurt Slamer, what do you want to plug? Well, my album hugs between friends. It's only a time.

It seems out of date at this point. I don't think it's out this week. It is brand new. But mentally, we got to move on for the next one. I don't, I don't agree. I think check out Hugs Between Friends. It's on title and I'm going to get it on the other streaming services. It's on title.

They're the easiest to use. To use, but to get on. Yeah, I think so. I have had no trouble. Wonderful. And I'd also like to plug a podcast, screw it. We're just going to talk about comics. I'm a fan to Wheelhorns and his brother Kevin Hines talk about comic books. And a second, if I may, quickly do do another quick plug. You want one more plug? If I may. It's highly irregular, but I'm going to let you do it. So go ahead, get a third plug. You're a good guy, howdy.

I'd like the Screw It podcast universe has another member. There's a new podcast. Should I be Screw Itverse? I guess it's a Screw Itverse. Yeah, that's a nice little name for me. Although I guess that Jamie Buffett's song would be in there too. I didn't mind. I don't mind if that wants to consider itself part of the Screw Itverse.

All Screwers are welcome. Anybody who, it's a self identifying condition, welcome to the screw reverse. But there is a new podcast called Screw It. I'm just gonna talk about music or whatever that I can ever. Or whatever. It's really leaving it open.

It could be, I mean, it's pretty loose. By Katie Platner, she's a member of the screw, we're just gonna talk about the Beatles podcast. And she's got a new one she talks about music and it's real cool. Really diversifying the screwvers. I enjoy this. Yeah, yeah, we're really reaching out there.

So if I listen to an episode of this, I can hear Katie talk about music or perhaps anything else on earth. Perhaps, but I've listened to some of the episodes and what happens is she starts with the song and sort of sees where that leads her and kind of a whatever that leads her in kind of a whatever that represents to her she'll explore that subject like the recent one is

or the first one is now we're moving and grooving it's about song she considers to have groove in a personal opinion a song title of yours now we're moving and grooving I assume not a bad idea parentheses I assume that whole thing I like. The I assume makes it friendly. Those are my plugs, thank you. All right, wonderful. Ruth, what do you want to plug here? Well, besides NipTuck. Sure, yeah, old episodes of NipTuck. Oh, well, you won't be disappointed by NipTuck

or really any Ryan Murphy joint. What about NipTuck? Oh, yeah. Like an actor named NipTuck. That would be good. That would be good. He'd have to be on that show. Yeah.

Oh yeah, that's, I mean, well, we can't talk about it because then we'd be developing it during a strike. I say, you know, they say pencils down, pencils up. Let's write this. Woo! This is a good group. The four of it, look,

Aparna, it's mainly gonna be on you. You've written a book. You've proved you can actually write something to completion. Let's write Nick Tapp. Yeah. Okay. Page one. Kind of hard to say. Page one. Nick Tapp enters the end. Anything else to plug?

If people like to laugh and comedy, mega, the podcast, and I believe I've heard that show. Yeah. I believe I've heard you on there. Well, that's right. I was on that show. As an intimacy coordinator. Yes, for a nativity page. Wonderful episode. Wonderful episode.

Did people enjoy it or I never heard any feedback? They did. Some of the feedback, people got a little confused when Jesus wasn't represented as a baby child but as a cheese plate. But when they understood that it was coming from the loins of a 12 year old girl, everyone got on board with a cheese plate, but when they understood that it was coming from the loins of a 12-year-old girl, everyone got on board with a cheese plate

and said, who doesn't enjoy a shakutari? I'd sort of remember this. And this is mega, the podcast, and people can get that. The same place that you would get, let's talk about music or whatever. That's right. Or ever podcast for sold. I want to talk about, hey, speaking of podcasts,

I have a new series out. Adam Scott and I, who you may know from several things that we can't talk about. We have a new show in the, you talking you two to me, averse. We're now doing you spring and springsteen on my beam. Just came out, a cup, 10 days or so ago with the first episode. We're coming out weekly and we're covering Bruce Springsteen's discography in the hopes to interview him when he comes out to L.A. at the end of the year. So Bruce, if you're not listening to that show, that one's about you. I would think you'd be listening to that, but if you're just the comedy

bang, bang, listen, and I understand that, you got to contact us about this interview. Also CBBWorld.com, that's where you can get the book, the comedy bang-bang book, which I don't want anyone to buy it, not last week against Gary's book, not this week against a Parnas book, but next week you can start buying it again. Also, we have great shows over there, like, you know, Hey Randy, and this book changed my life or saved my life. So many great shows over there at CBBWorld.com. If you're only listening to Comedy Bang Bang,

you're only getting half the story. All right, let's close up the old plug-bang. Shut up already, thanks. When you're feeling really down and the moon is right, you gotta grab the key and turn it to the right. You gotta. When you wanna make everybody free, you gotta look it yourself. And set the plug back free, you gotta open up the plug back.

Open up the plug back. Get your friends together and open it up. You gotta. Open up the front back. Get your friends together and open up the front. Oh, okay, it's over. Hard stuff. Yeah, that was plug quake. Okay, quake remix by Midnight Creep. Oh, that sounds like a maybe a song title for Midnight Creep.

I don't think so. Maybe a midnight creep hips the moving. I'm not saying that you're a creep. I'm saying that maybe you're creeping over that side of the bed with your wife. No, you're like trying to surprise her. I love it. Okay. With consent at what longitude. I'll work it in. I'll work it in your work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Figure out what latitude and longitude your med is work it in. I'll work it in. You'll work it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Figure out what latitude and longitude your men is at, and we can do all this.

Guys, I want to thank you so much. Aparna, always a pleasure to see you. We'll see you in another 400 about it. Thank you so much. Eight years or so from now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2030. 2030 or so.

We'll see what book you've cooked up since then. If you had to write in another book, what would it be? Another memoir, essays, typebook, or is it like, you're going in the fiction route? Yeah. Like a hard boiled detective book. Oh, yeah. I think, I mean, I felt really inspired by some of the stories

I heard today. I think I just left those. Oh, okay, yeah. Honestly, the best way to write a book is just to copy someone else's book. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mind. My life is for you.

Thank you. That's a weird thing for anybody. By the way, that's a good song title. My life is for you. That's actually very universal feeling. Yeah. I don't see it. I don't see it.

You prefer to stick to slam it. How about my hips bump in for you? Okay. No. I'll do it. But Kurt, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate it. Good luck to you with your next album. This one's going to tank, but we'll see. Good luck with the next one. And Ruth, De

Boveau, so wonderful to meet you. Well, such a pleasure to be here, Scott. Really, I'm I hope so. A true pleasure, a true pleasure. And next time I guarantee you, I won't be using a walking stick. Oh, really? You think you're going to get better or you're, yes, I won't be using a walking stick. Oh really, you think you're gonna get better or you're... Yes, I have to go to PT two more times today. Just, this is a lot of PT. Yeah, really, the older you get, it really becomes about maintaining that body. It really does, yeah. But you have maintained it wonderfully.

Thank you so much. I'm gonna take that gift of an eight that you gave me and I'm gonna turn it into an 8.5. And I know this is the end of the show and I'm not expecting you, but I'd appreciate a flash if you could open up that robe. Okay, it's like you did for Peter Gallagher. I couldn't this grace see this is why I always wear a wrap dress. Here we go. We just got to open it up on the left over here. Put in the cane down or west or whatever. Yeah, the west. All right. And it canes down the ground for you. Oh, okay. It still says goodbye Peter. Well I couldn't get him off I used an epoxy. We'll see you next time. Bye. you