Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Best of 2019 Pt.3

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

Scott and Paul F. Tompkins continue the Best of CBB 2019 countdown as they countdown numbers eight through five as voted by YOU listeners. Tune in Thursday for Part 4! This episode is brought to you by Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order and Dashlane.

I'm a little blackbird looking for a bluebird welcome to comedy bang bang what yeah thank you to the jake boss is that a play on anything i don't know i like it though it's i mean it's evocative i'm a oh it's evocative all right by the way you didn't say it i said the jake boss and you just sat there yeah what am i supposed to do uh welcome to comedy bang bang best of 2019 part three listen i want to apologize to the jake boss i feel like i'm giving him a hard time all over the place him or her or the boss could be a woman this is not jake this is jake's boss the jake boss the jake boss yeah jake's only boss do you think only jake do you think it's

jake from jake and the fat man do you think it's the fat man is jake's boss do you think it's jake from less than jake of course was that the same jake the it's gotta be right it's gotta be there's only so many jakes jake from the fat man is less than jake yes wait a minute so the name is his name is jake and his nickname is less than jake quote less than unquote fat man friend so he's like i mean in a way he's more than the fat man because he gets his own name the fat man is just called the fat man by the way the fat man there's more of him because he's fat do you think that it originally was jake and the bat man and they couldn't get the right 100 100 i think it was i think that they and there's i think a lot of the dialogue in

the script was still hey hey hey fat man we're robin should we have to get out of this cave we end into my car and then into someone's dreams the scarecrow uh welcome to connie bang bang jake and the fat man to me we should all get together and sing that now i feel like you're mocking my idea from before i like your idea from before thank you i like you from before i like you right now and in the future let history be the judge okay but who knows for how long future is my long time my friend that's right and it is not written at this point although some would say that it everything has occurred already for some men truly nothing is written mards of arabia the immortal bard that's right welcome to the show

my name is scott augerman and i'm the host of comedy bang bang and my name is paul of tompkins i'm the guest of comedy bang bang that is right and together we are the incredible duo is that what it was yes and the dynamic something the dynamic buds no please please dynamic buds of may i wouldn't mind that the dynamic buds of may that would be okay that's my third choice out of three no all right um it by the way still december december 30th can you believe it can you believe we are just about to ring in 2020 did you ever think you would live to see the day 2020 i remember when i wouldn't when i was a kid i was like oh god i hope i'm dead by 2020 yeah me too i remember being eight years old and like 2020 i hope i'm dead no i used to first of all the year 2000

seemed like an eternity yes uh when i was when i was young i was like oh i'll be this age and you know i'll be three years old when we die it will be those weird people that have you know the the previous centuries knowledge we contain everything that anyone learned in the previous century it will die with us but like when you were when you were a kid if you would see a tombstone yeah that the beginning day was it in 1800 you'd be like what an what an ancient fuck what a piece of shit i would spit on it i wish this person was alive so i could kill them but we're gonna be those people we're gonna be those people who are these people going to be who are those people december 30th what is this month what why 12 months why can't why can't you have a girlfriend as i need

december 30th this is part three every year at this time of year we uh look i'm gonna admit it we don't want to be recording episodes at the end of the year because no one's around you're admitting it so instead let's put out best ofs there we go that was the original inspiration was that the original yeah well i mean i i believe in the first year that we did a best of uh it was we would bank it because normally we did the show live on the radio um so the first year hello this the first year of the show we did it bill o'reilly style we fucked it and did it live um and uh it was impossible to get anyone into the studio uh in the winter months so we would record these after the previous weeks episodes or something and and would put these out i think

also people didn't want to go there yeah but to that studio oh to that studio oh was it a pain to go to i mean it was a pain for me it wasn't convenient it wasn't it was it's on wilshire which is not really where then you would have to go up you you get to the floor you get to where the radio station was and then you'd have to check and then they make you wait for a long time and someone would come down long time and someone would come down and get you and then bring you up and then you'd have to wait in a different room and then you finally be brought in it was just a big pain in the ass yes it was um but like all radio yes but now we're in these wonderful studios and uh it's wonderful to be here and i probably could get people but it's

become such a an incredible tradition uh here uh to be listening to what do they call it the incredible tradition oh these two guys are just such an incredible tradition scott ackerman polo conference the incredible tradition but um it grew from one episode of a best of to to uh and that one was like an hour and 15 minutes and then has grown into these four episodes which all are over two hours the diseased oak and people always said like more more more how do you like it how do you like it the real gloria gainers um so that's what we've done we've stretched these out and paul and i tape these in a row um and we're at the halfway point at this point and uh no end in sight for us yeah i can't imagine it's ever gonna be over

but this is number three and uh three of four and uh what we're doing on uh this episode is we are going to be hearing the and these are all episodes that have been voted on by the listeners by the way we put out a poll uh after thanksgiving after thanksgiving oh god i'm just remembering thanksgiving on your face all those native americans oh god they made friends um it's such a beautiful holiday is that really what happened though doubtful very doubtful very doubtful i think that's what a story that was invented is sort of like the throwing shoes at the leprechauns you know what i do i throw shade of the leprechaun stupid leprechaun that's the tea um why was that oh yeah everyone votes on these and they vote for their top 10 favorite episodes

and then the results come in and uh we have uh and then paul hits the mic with a big glass bottle this is me trying to subtly ask for another bottle of water yeah to the booth um and this year we've been counting down the top 15 episodes of comedy bang bang and on this episode we will be hearing clips from the number eight the number seven the number six and the number five episodes exciting so we're getting up there do you remember the movie anaconda yeah i didn't want none with john because it didn't have buns yeah there were so many buns in the movie so many buns jail face down it's right there face down under coffin um uh there's of course john void was in the film of course a recipient of the uh presidential medal of freedom freedom or honor

yeah um and uh at one point he says he's like the sort of river guide or whatever to show these people that want to see the anaconda the anaconda right and i can't remember that the what's happening before in the scene maybe people are arguing but at one point john void says in his this accent that he's doing for the movie yeah he does some sort of south american something like that yeah he goes danger is exciting and that is that is a non musical earworm that is in my head yes at all times i think about it it pops into my head a lot yeah when people say something is exciting or when people say something is dangerous right danger is exciting danger is exciting you know what i think of i think of uh very similarly i think of the time

that i went to disneyland with some work friends and this was when i was working with rachel quintance who uh whom you know uh has been on the never not funny podcast a bit and was on the comedy bang bang tv show i was a waiter with her and uh uh was this chin chin this was a chin chin and a bunch of the waiters uh all like we loved this is one of those waiter jobs where we all liked hanging out with each other and we hang out with each other off hours and so we all went to disneyland together and uh rachel and i found ourselves upon the jungle cruise and the uh tour guide if you've never been on the jungle cruise it's basically a uh pre-ordained route through the jungle but the tour guide can say whatever they want it's the only place in disney where irony is allowed

to exist yes so you uh and my brother worked on it for a while and so you you got a script but you were encouraged to riff and be funny on it occasionally you would go too far my brother told me the story of a co-worker who said uh once he was like over there is a toucan and we all know that three toucans make a six pack and that was a beer reference was determined too far yes that was too far so the disney corporation either took him out of the jungle cruise or said you can't say that anymore or something like that this either they fired him or they said don't say that yeah i'm not sure the two extremes or they killed him i'm not sure but um this particular uh tour guide on the jungle cruise

that day had a vocal tick which um i think maybe knowingly was doing it or it was a lot like when i would go uh i for some weird reason i saw mobi the singer sing three times in one year because he was always doing yes festivals about this yeah and so immediately when every song would end he'd say thank you thank you thank you and i was like i don't know whether this is a thing that his brain is telling him he has to do right the minute a song is over or whether this is an ironic like him sing here's another one asked did the thank you thank you thank you occur before people were responding to the end of the song it was literally the song would end and over the like you would normally wait until the applause died down a little bit it was just like

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you uh and he did every song and so this was a lot like this but but the tour guide on the jungle cruise would point out something you say look at that over there there's a hippo uh oh no the hippos attacking us you go very exciting very dangerous very exciting very dangerous over here is a why we both have one yeah it's weird around the words danger and exciting but i think about it all the time and it's it's just like over here is a uh uh totem pole and uh this is where the natives gather human heads and put them on a pole very exciting very dangerous i think about it all the time and i say it too very exciting very dangerous wow anytime you point something out all right i feel less alone in the world so do i yeah all right

yeah i'd like to uh be buried next to each other face down that's why they call us the dynamic buds of may so uh on this episode we're going to be talking about these wonderful uh episodes and if you've never heard comedy bang bang i know i'd describe this every uh part of the best ofs but for a lot of people even the third part of four parts is the first time they've ever heard the show yeah comedy bang bang is a show where uh i am the host com uh i'm the host scott augerman i'm not named comedy bang bang i got confused for a second uh i'm the host scott and i have entertainers on um comedians actors i'm the guest paul i'm one of the entertainers and i talk to these people for a bit and they are themselves and then i have comedians on who are playing characters

they're playing fake people or they're playing doing impressions of real people and uh we never really break the reality of it we never say that uh hey uh you know we don't end every episode by saying i'm john gabris and i'm playing intern gino or anything like yeah people don't like do a curtain call like at the end of the bad seed exactly so we do it we do it here on the best ofs where we talk about the process a little bit we don't normally do this is not a typical episode of comedy but it's atypical yes and in fact paul is not on every episode of comedy banging so it's weird if this is your first time listening you'll be very confused if you listen to a different episode and say where's paul who are all these weirdos exactly another thing we do

on the show is we play the snowman game where the snowman turns around and is going to be looking at us he's going to be looking at somebody so this song so the snowman's singing now he's turning is he gonna look at me no he's looking in the corner to no one now he's turning around again and he's oh he got you it's it's close but i think it's close enough you got okay so i've been looked at i would that is perfect right on he's right on me bang on right down the barrel look at me look at me look at me look at me look at me oh still right over paul's shoulder fuck that was sad that was great maybe next episode it was wasn't it the next episode hold up um that was great great what i just did so these clips that we're going to hear and and from these uh episodes by

the way it is an improvisational show uh we don't know what's going to happen on it every episode basically the comedians come in and say hey i'm going to be playing this person yes and we don't pre discuss what we're going to talk about we just find it in the moment yes so the clips that you're going to hear are from uh the favorite episodes of the fans uh of this year uh and they will have a lot of different people on them uh the only through line is myself so uh that is that's a good uh description of the show yes uh i guess yeah you uh do you take umbridge i don't take umbridge i take exception which exception do you take i take this one okay uh did not talk about me enough for me oh okay uh well i think i i think all of it in in but it

needs me for context oh okay so well if you're listening to paul if tompkins hello he's a comedian um uh stand-up comedian although i would you call yourself a former stand-up comedian at this point hey when's the last time you did stand-up it's been a while how long yars yars yars yars do you have not done stand-up it's been a few years yeah wow do you do you think that if you started doing it again if you got back up on stage that you would still be good at it i mean i hope so uh i hope so do you think you ever will do it again yeah i think so you think you will when later now no later later later for sure you and paul you were uh one of the best and you haven't done it in years one of the best what is this guy that you're doing i don't like

it i want you to stop it right now that's the real me this is the real you oh no thank you for putting out a character all these years i've known you because i don't like him um he's easier to do than the real me the real you is a chore yeah that's the same for my radio voice it's a bit of a struggle well paul is a comedian who has been on this show since the early years and um what's the first time you did the show as yourself i can't recall you called in from uh you were living in new york doing best week ever and yes i believe you call in a few times i called in a few times i believe the first time i was myself one time i was the ghost of michael jackson who had just died right that was episode five or six or something like that one time i was iced tea i believe yes and

and those the uh uh you you start doing characters uh sort of on this show is that right yeah it's true um just because because i've been doing them on best week ever right but that was for that show and then when you started this show you invited me to do it and you said you could do whatever you want you could be yourself you could be a character and that was that put the idea in my head that i could do maybe i could do a character and you start doing characters and uh we're an immediate success at it and in fact six have been a staple of these best of episodes throughout the years wouldn't it be strange if i invited you on here to co-host the best ofs with me and then none of your episodes end up being well i mean that's what i think about every year is that you know your stomach

as you approach i'm not i'm not in my stomach i mean come on but a lump in your throat but much like when i uh knew the day would come when i uh would be stopped at the door of the ucb theater yes that's someone who happens to us all yeah i didn't know who i was and i was like oh this gonna happen eventually and then and then it did yeah and uh it was not as bad as i thought it was gonna be thankfully there was somebody else there that was like no no he's okay yeah exactly but i still much like how cool up stopped uh shan clements that story is amazing and you know what she was right she was right um but yeah much like that you there will come a day you think where none of your episodes make it into the top 10 well that that is not uh this experience this year

because already uh up to this point in episodes one and two we have heard uh three of your episodes not bad not bad at all as perhaps you'll have some more still hanging in there hey in the top eight we'll see we we definitely will see you're in my top eight remember my space my space you're in my top five chris rock damn chris rock get a movie called top five i forgot about that along with everybody else yep every single person in the world um including the participants there in Jerry Seinfeld the aforementioned Seinfeld that what was that movie he was a famous comedian yeah but he wasn't himself he was a famous comedian who was a alcoholic i believe and he had that classic scene in a movie or recovering alcoholic where he went into a liquor store and was tempted by all

the liquor sure it looks beautiful it's i mean there are nice bottles liquor store i like liquor stores i like to look at the bottles i turn my own house into a liquor store that's strange i don't drink i just love the bottles but you feel like to sell liquor yes i do to miners come on bye kids it looks like a house on the outside but it is a liquor store on the inside party and i will sell you booze that'd be a great racket uh so paul has been on the show and we've been doing these best of's every year yeah together for at least eight years or nine or maybe 10 or 11 or 12 maybe we've been doing this since the dawn of time certainly feels like that when we tape all of these best of episodes back to back um but this is uh on this episode we're going to be uh hearing clips from

number eight number seven number six and number five and let's just get right to it let's get to your what you've chosen as your number eight number eight all right number eight i need to know yeah what's this one about what's it about or what number is it normally i say the number first that's part of what it's about episode number this is episode number 600 so close to the curious clump very close it's uh but it's not summer because it was may 6th yes summer's just around the corner at that time right around the corner and um so this is obviously one of the big hundos uh 600 and you have a little tradition don't you certainly do and uh uh let me talk about this very briefly um so this year was the 10th anniversary of comedy bang bang and um

also it was coinciding with the 600th episode yes and for uh here's the process of what what exactly happened um okay i'll tell you first what happened and i'll tell you why you can tell me and whatever whatever order you want i don't care okay so episode 599 turned out to be our 10th anniversary episode and for that episode we put out a 10 exactly 10 hours on the dot to the second that's right uh episode weird and uh weird why weird no reason well here here was here was my thought process behind it was i wanted to get i wanted to honor all of the people from the past the the the old past the early days the middle years and the recent years i wanted them all to be on one episode and i didn't want to do just another when we do these end of the year uh holiday

episodes and when we've done the anniversary episodes i put out a call basically to um everyone's favorite guests and but they have to be all in the same room together at the same time and they have to be at a certain time and usually what happens is a great number of people are available then which is always good but then a great number of people are not available and uh this for the 10th anniversary i just really wanted to have people on that that just don't have schedules that can accommodate you know being there at a time when i can do it you know what i mean at a certain time so i wanted to have on the seth morris's who recently had a baby and doesn't have a lot of time doing bob duke i had a baby oh my god really this is wild i'm finding out on the podcast

wait you're are you the father of the baby you are really playing up your i mean your can you imagine i always knew seth was very fertile and where were you nine months ago i'm sick i'm sick that's why nobody saw me but everyone schedules i mean you know especially as as we as the show moves on throughout you know now a decade the people who were there earlier in the in the years of it they have schedules now they just can't accommodate it and and and each other schedules so when i started trying to put it together i said okay maybe i'll do a couple of recording sessions with with these people and i i put out a big email blast to people and everyone wanted to do it but everyone had totally different times that they were available and so i said okay well

what if i did everyone separately and stitch it together and my initial uh concept was everyone was going to do five minutes and it was going to be like a two-hour episode and then the minutes i that people got here everyone started doing basically 25 minutes to a half an hour five minutes is nothing it flies by exactly so at a certain point i was talking to terin killum who plays one of the calvin's triplets and uh i was telling him like oh man i i think this episode is going to be really long and he said well why not make it 10 hours because it's the 10th anniversary and i did the math and i looked at all the people who were going to be a part of it i said yeah i think that would actually work out perfectly i had to edit it down a little bit to get it uh

and uh you know that the engineers by the way that was quite a feat of engineering for everyone to do it um like the golden gate bridge yeah exactly it was the golden gate bridge of podcasting but we got it down to destroyed it we got it down to uh 10 hours exactly and it was a lot of fun i did not want to make that episode eligible for the best ofs because i i view it sort of as a best of it is a retrospective episode to me it's uh like a much in the story telling the west wing it's an aberration yes and it's a i mean it is a best of although everyone is doing new stuff they're doing favorite characters and i just didn't think it was fair to even put it into the polls to be voted upon so that is why you couldn't vote on that episode um but then episode 600

originally was going to be the 10th anniversary episode and i was lining it all up and i had done enough bonus episodes to where it was going to be but then i was reminded of the fact that on the hundreds usually uh i have jason manzukas and andy daily on them it just worked out that way i think on episode 200 um where the two of them happened to do it and then we have have tried to return to that uh tradition throughout the hundreds on 300 400 um and so for 600 i was like oh yeah but andy and jason we've done one on the 600s so i decided to split those two episodes into two things so we did 599 was the 10th anniversary episode and 600 was the uh jason manzukas and andy daily episode now after i decided that in 599 came out i realized that 10 hours

is exactly 600 seconds and that would have been awesome to do to do number 600 and have it be 600 exactly that would have been really good but i didn't realize it until after it came out so are you taping me right now by the way no your phone is pointing at me either you're reading email or taping me i don't like either i was uh just looking at my phone i like it you like your phone yeah i wasn't on or anything i was just like you like your phone i like it there it wasn't on you were just looking at the shape okay yeah it's pleasing see yeah you're showing it because you turned it off already what i didn't do anything i hate this guy stop it terrible co-host energy you don't think that shifty is a good co-host i don't like it why do you think

why do you think jung gaber says gino is a good co-host energy because he's jumping in a lot oh sure this guy is terrible no bad anyway so that so uh but the good news is is we did do a 600th episode with jason and andy was everything else the bad news well the bad news to me is it would have been really cool to have uh episode 600 be 600 seconds long yeah it would have been pretty cool or no 600 minutes 600 seconds would be 500 25600 seconds yeah 600 minutes is 10 hours that would have been that would have been awesome so that that was in retrospect i wish i'd been clever enough to to do that but we it would have meant that this episode would not have been recorded because we recorded this specifically to be episode 600 this is an episode called patrick

mcman returns a story about johnny migorey so uh the dink dink man aka the tiktok man jason manzukas uh he is he's also co-host energy he has good co-host energy um he and uh andy uh came on and andy decided to do a character that he hasn't done in a long time as i recall the irish storyteller patrick mcman um patrick mcman i think was maybe on in the first hundred episodes but hadn't been on for a while he had his own he had his own uh andy has his own podcast the andy daily podcast pilot project and patrick mcman has an episode that you and i were both on it was a live episode it was a lot of fun a lot of fun and i did not realize i could not do an irish accent until i started it and you said you said the word morch instead of march morch

and then i saw uh that uh broadway show uh this summer and i was like listening to their accent going oh that's how you do it and i figured like i could have oh what show was that uh it was all about the collection agency all the the collection agency no the um the gumball the cobbler what was it it was uh uh it was something right it was thus something it was good it's not the fair it wasn't the farewell it was okay i'm looking at right now the clippers the fairy man the fairy man don't pay him don't confuse it with the irish man no this is the fairy man this is the fairy man he's the man who drives the fairy yeah anyway so i was like i wish i'd seen the fairy man before i did that episode but this was years apart how could i have there's

no way there's no way what a what a stupid use of time travel in any case um this is andy daily who we previously heard on his dalton wilcox in uh earlier in our countdown and um this is uh him he hasn't been on the show in a long time and uh this is just a fun episode where it's just jason andy and i having a good time and uh let's hear it this is your episode number eight number eight as you know i'm an irish storyteller i tell old stories from the old country old stories you don't write stories new stories yes of course but uh well i tell old stories and i tell new stories and i tell new stories about the old times classic stories irish mythology you ever do a previously on during one of your stories and it's just the old story previously on no i've never done a previously

on hattrick mcmain previously on hattrick mcmain stories and then it would be a story right i had told before is it like you're telling the oral history of your people oh sometimes it does feel like that doesn't it yes but i'm right it's really a sort of the old classic um irish mythology stories of we people and creatures and whatnot oh wait can i ask you a question about these stories because like but i've got a beef as well can i just say i've got a real you want to start off with a beef i do want to start i'll accept oh yeah because i specifically told the booker okay sure because i'm here i'm promoting a show i'm promoting a tour of my own storytelling oh you're touring around i'm touring a theater tour yes well it's mostly pubs and uh okay and street corners and i

specifically told the booker i says please don't mention my brother shamus it's true but my brother shamus is a very famous i cannot tell you what a fan i am of shamus he's great i apologize uh from all the information we got with your booker that was highlighted in circles it was yes it was i remember i remember my father introducing me to him when he was on pbs he had a special on i remember that that was a very famous and that was back when nothing was on tv there was nothing and so we were just like anything that's on tv is great to watch it was so funny but it wasn't that funny though interesting it says you see it wasn't that funny and then it was so heartbreak humorous and i don't know no the heart never broke your heart never broke a lot of punch lines

a lot of tears between tears and laughter i don't remember crying or laughter with the i remember my mouth the corners of it going up and then the corners going down and just fluctuating going up down up i remember that was the first time i saw my father cry yeah uh was was watching shamus mcbanne it could have been allergy season and he might have had something you know he might have had something in his eyes perhaps i guess yeah we cry for all sorts of different reasons he might have nothing to do with shamus's work which is you know it's all right it's all right it's hard to account for his popularity and i remember my dad again it's just that my dad was such a treasured memories such any introduction to this world for me but dad you've talked about

him he's a stoic guy so stoic like greek you know new england you know like all this kind of all the terrible and new england yeah but these kind of things really would really kind of punctuate his stoic demeanor uh i remember he gave me um shamus mcmanne's the record stories about my brother oh that's a classic and that that really that was like i remember he won a he won a grammy for that right he was that was like a gold record such a heartbreaking life that he had to put up with all those things well now that i'm thinking about it that must have been about that must have i didn't know the people in this country were familiar with it with the record stories oh my god my brother my brother was like a huge i really had no idea that people knew about i might not

have come to america if i had known oh well stories of my brother by shamus mcmanne yeah i mean some of those stories about the things that you were up to oh and then and then the live record more stories of my brother right and then the the third in the trilogy of hey we're not going to be live anymore but here are some more stories about my brother because you wanted it more stories of my brother and that was a big argument because he felt strongly that if the previous album had been live and this one's not you've got to say so in the title and it was a real argument well you got to set the table but i think he was wrong i think people would have just accepted it um people would have just accepted some of those stories he told about you that's those are you have to understand

that shamus is a liar and uh shamus is an asshole and he's just he's just a sergeant person let's say whatever he wants to say without even thinking of the repercussions or not even thinking that for the rest of his brother's life people are going to be coming up to him and saying and did you really did you really try to cut off your own foot like that that's the weirdest that's now that's ringing a bell why would you try to because i was so inspired by the film my left foot yes but he had both of his feet it's just that he used his oh my god oh that's making me laugh so hard remembering it were you inspired by it in just the title you didn't actually see it or i had not gone to see it had seen the poster and i'd seen just the reviews of it and uh and the people were excited about

of course you see daniel de luz when the oscar for that well that's the thing when you hear a title like my left foot you think this is the guy who got his right foot cut off that's what you assume all he's got is his left foot so i try yes of course well yes so that one is that one happens to be true how did you try to cut it off did you i mean i would imagine you'd have to strap your your leg to it maybe with a guillotine or something i mean i can't i don't think you imagine i no no doesn't it doesn't he get a foot guillotine well i tried a lot of different ways and that was one of them but the first one was i just took you know i did what you would do i went down to the train sure made across the train track yeah i just put my yeah of course of course right yeah what happened

with that one they just well they saw me from far enough away they just stopped that and i had uh i drank a whole lot of whiskies because i didn't want to feel it oh yeah the next thing i know i've got a train conductor kicking me the heads and get your fucking foot off the track so you never cut off your foot or maybe you did i'm not looking down there because at the end of the story you know shamus says they didn't ever because he doesn't cut off the foot because when shamus walks in and sees that he's in there uh he yells at him slaps him around oh that's it's such a fun but he tells it's so funny like i don't think it's very funny my brother so many stories and when you getting slapped around and it makes me laugh a lot a lot of them do a lot of them do your brother's

like the three stooges he's just funny when he's slapping you around it made me understand what physical comedy is yeah truly yeah and without seeing it too because we're listening to these you know stories he's just described but the way he describes slapping you right and just the way you're crying and you're sort of begging and you're like well now that all of that at one point you're like hey i'll i'll you know perform oral sex on you if you stop no you say yeah yeah yeah and then and then you you you you cry so hard that you shit your pants the funny thing is that it's actually it's all happens the other way around it all happens the other way around when you shit your pants no no it's in this bag and backwards he's never want shit my pants and i don't

know if he claims to on any of his albums i there is that one record i shit my brother's pants and by the way the audience back that's the name of the the name of the record is a shit my brother's pants and by the way i've invited the audience back i mean that one was not i've not heard that maybe that was only in the states it's a 45 it's a short one well he's never shit my pants but he's shit his own pants again and again and begs me to stop slapping him around that's what happens i see him or that's right i slap him or why why would you slap your brother he's an asshole and he's telling stories well that's not a good story the funny the funny story is like look how dumb my brother is and then i slap him around and he shits his pants he begs me

to perform the show on me and i say it's too gross you shit your pants never did that the story where you say you go to the bar you get absolutely drunk and you buy a new vespa and then but when you show it to him it's a sheep yeah you bought a sheep and are riding it around thinking it's a thinking you're going as fast as a vespa it's so crazy saying all these italian catchphrases none of that happened i bought a sheep one night at a bar whose name was vespa and i did ride him home and he made up the rest he went wild on the rest there's not too much to make up and that's it's a very similar story you told and i did sell the car the only difference is the cognizance of the sheep i traded my car for the sheep because i thought it was going to be riding the sheep to

work oh what kind of car was that uh the car that i had was uh it was one of them tiny little tribunce oh okay yeah well that's that's a kind of a lateral move then do a sheep well that's amazing that you are here these 10 years later 10 years later touring nine years nine years since the last time we've continued to try and do the thing that your brother is the best at well but i'm better than him right let's say that let's just get that out better than my brother i don't remember every detail of episode 74 but i don't recall you you necessarily blowing us away well here's the thing you talk about what a storyteller you are but i seem to remember mostly just limericks well i'm from limerick ireland oh so you're a limerick man no i'm not a limerick no i don't do limericks the

town is called limerick but i'm a storyteller and i do remember that being a confusion last time because everyone books you expecting to hear wonderfully funny limericks a lot of the time this is where you're from limerick ireland that's your limerick and that's not of course no but i'd recall that be the problem i wouldn't i wouldn't meet someone from limerick ireland and say tell me a story no and you know i would not even ask that of like somebody from storyville you must know certain on the limericks a place in ireland called storyville well where all the irish stories by that logic you never get a story you must know some limericks that you can bust out in situations like this where people have booked you assuming that you know limericks and then you want to get paid for the gig

really your pride haven't got any your pride is you have so much pride that you refuse to learn limericks even though it means you will not get paid for the gig isn't that a rejection of your home place yeah of limerick ireland to reject a limerick is to reject your hometown do you have no no pride in honor i have enormous pride in limerick ireland i love limerick ireland and it's not like people walk around telling limericks all the time and shay miss mcman has that three record set of limericks oh yeah limericks yeah i mean yeah shay miss does another limerick high it's the high limericks smarty smart low limericks which is all the dirty ones right and then that whole third record with limerick limericks all right limericks about my brother i can do it about

my brother i can do limericks i can do limericks what was the one limerick he said about patrick the one about like oh yeah he had a limerick about me and it was a real good one yeah whole record yeah yeah yeah it was all about it was like uh uh it was all about his your bum uh it was uh yeah oh shit son fun bum i think was where it was the right it's an imperfect rhyme scheme yeah definitely but it was funny it was funny and humor trumps everything yeah wow so so you you do know limericks you're saying well sure sure if i can do a fucking limerick anybody can anybody can do anybody can do it it's fucking you're gonna be stupid to try anybody can do it sure sure there once was an asshole named shameless

and uh everyone loved him because he was famous that's true but he was uh i would say he's famous because everyone loved him oh he's you know what i mean one of the most famous people his work was so great that people loved him which made him famous but anyway go ahead but he's really a prick and he's really a dick and so thought our mother who named us wow pretty good that's almost as good as like a shameless one yeah i mean so it really is very convenient that prick and dick yes very similar words that mean the same thing you know what i mean like it happens it's like there's there are certain redundancies within that lyric a prick and a dick yeah means the same thing in its one meaning of a penis well it also means the same thing in its other meaning of you know a jerk

or is that weird or to prick something as well you know i guess you can't dick something you you can't dick to my finger you can dick something you can just not exact so yeah that's where it falls apart you can dick some someone all right jason hey oh um so anyway ladies if you single reach out to me at scott augerman at twitter dog please do not i do have these ladies and i never pass them on to you so it's not right yeah which starts here oh really this is the start of the story starts here in los and certainly the pro okay yeah i was gonna say not this podcast well this is the start of the tour this podcast do you want would you like to tell a story i mean is that and i remember the last time i was here there was a bit of a confusion perhaps a cultural problem that i i tell

stories about a character named johnny mcgory and last time you guys were like well that sounds like it's a story about you but it's these are not stories about me it's a stories about johnny mcgory these are a fictional character who's very popular in ireland johnny mcgory do you know fictional no he's just a fictional character got a fictional character named johnny mcgory it's a lot like a jack from fables there's a lot of fables that have the name jack it's a common thing so in ireland a lot of storytellers talk about johnny mcgory or right yeah that's right they do yes it is right sure you don't sound convinced well it's it's it's really my thing oh it's my thing so johnny mcgory is a character that like that is your creation like a harry potter is jk

i can't say i invented him it's quite common for an ire story to begin to tell you a story about johnny mcgory it is okay great but it's really my thing more than anybody else at this point i've really taken it on okay i'm only saying this i only want clarification because i've never heard sheamus tell a johnny mcgory no he mainly talks about my dumb brother patrick my shit for brain's brother patrick with shit leaking out of his nose from his brain that down which is not true which is not true that's a good example i think he refers to him mostly as the weed dumb cunt yeah which uh you know i think which is like two of those think of that think about that the weed dumb cunt yeah oh i've thought about it that's three insults in one name insults in a row without

redundancy yeah that's impressive you're little you're stupid and you're greatly you're you're that other thing which encompasses so much of the rap well he's a prick and a dick yeah see those are kind of the same yeah all right so patrick you're gonna calm down sit down please you don't need to stand fine all right just sit down fine now patrick you're gonna tell us a story and this is about johnny mcgory the aforementioned johnny mcgory this is not about classic story from ireland and irish mythology show me a beginners is that how you start normally asking people if you should or he's in the middle of a story what are you doing oh sorry this is part of it yeah i'll tell you a story about johnny mcgory well once by the time there was a fellow named

johnny mcgory and he was a fabulous storyteller and everybody said so and everyone agreed and everyone loved him and he had a brother johnny mcgory did who's a real pain in the ass he was a real he was a real jerk he was he was he was he was we and a dumb and a cunt and nobody likes his brother and so one day johnny to do a favor for the world hit his brother over the head with a lamp and dragged him into the basement and tied him up and told him from now on your writing stories for me to tell and from that day forward johnny mcgory's brother was writing stories for johnny to tell and then johnny planned a big tour of america to tell those stories and become super famous and then he ran into a leprechaun and got his pot of gold that's the end oh wow

wow okay how do you think of that story classic story of irish mythology there's so little about it that has to do with being irish yeah it seems very specific so much so much of it is just familial anger what do you mean maybe that has something to do with the leprechaun and the part of gold and johnny mcgory that that was just the last that seemed like a day johnny mcgory always wants to get himself to get his hands on a pot of gold from a leprechaun okay see that was not set up in the beginning of the story yeah all right you think you would start with that of like you know usually you start with the heroes wants yes the what if there's gonna be a quest for a pot of gold we have to know that that's the quest this was like about abduction and familial

jealousy yeah you know it's just occurring to me now what's that we haven't heard anything from shamus mcman since he tried to do that solo sail across the world oh yeah that was interesting assumed he was lost at sea well i was reading his wikipedia page earlier and uh i know there's some sort of question it's there's a a subheading that says presume dead yes with a question mark when right citation needed and right i didn't know you'd know about that yes yes he's gone missing that's too bad really and and do you remember the the day that he went missing uh live a while ago a couple of months or something do you like do you talk about that in your show do you tell stories about it uh no no no that's all the all the stories in my show with the exception of those two

that i wrote a little while ago are brand new ones really brand new stories new and exciting stories that are great recently written great what you're doing the day that he disappeared the day that must have the news must have come to you and just hit you like a thunderbolt oh yes it hit me like a terrible thunderbolt were you up to that day i was i was uh that day i was just sort of working on the basement i was doing some work in the basement what's going on in your base that's interesting because sheamus was i mean that's a sheamus sorry because in your story uh uh uh uh johnny the gory's brother was locked up in a basement oh that's an interesting parallel but what's happening in your basement is i'm just saying that the day that i heard that sheamus was gone

i was just working on because you know we've got a basement door and the hinges are on the inside and so i was only just working on the door and sort of uh soldering the hinges closed soldering them closed so they were in the basement trying to solder the hinges closed so they couldn't be open so well i don't know from within don't leave any conclusions i'm just telling you what i was doing that day i was just working in the basement and you just got a call and yes got a call that sheamus sheamus had been missing it was gone and just turned up when he was he married i don't i don't remember are you kidding of course he was married i mean his wife was people magazines like sexiest woman of the year sure and they shared the title of sexiest couple

yeah and she didn't know whether they still were like that huge philanthropist she was on the verge of curing the ebola outbreak oh yeah she got so close to that i know and then disappeared disappeared disappeared so all these people are dead from a problem because and she and she disappeared too that was the other weird part yeah right right well yeah yeah i mean some people say that she went looking for him and and and almost found him almost found him wow that's what a lot of people know we don't know a lot of people are saying she almost found him but nobody knows for sure stories that he wrote before he disappeared okay great with those stories i get what's going on what's going on okay uh this is a what she might if we talk for a second the two of you are gonna

have a talk we're just gonna have a little chat but i'll review my new stories my brand new story some of which i haven't even read but of course i read them i wrote them how did we not get this this is a gallagher two scenario who this is a gallagher two scenario gallagher's brother who sometimes performances gallagher sheamus doesn't want to perform anymore he's too big he's too sheamus too famous how about sheamus too famous so he is writing new stories sheamus too famous and he's letting his brother go out and tell those stories and that's how we're getting new and he's taking himself out of the public eye he just basically said that he asked his brother to write new stories and that's what he's doing on the road okay so i think it's i think

this is so nice of him this is exciting wow okay patrick we would love to hear another really we'd love to hear another patrick mcmayan story of course i don't know that's a there johnny migory one of the classic johnny migory vision by patrick mcmayan and sheamus yet no what excuse me what'd you say two the stories are by all by me these are all by you of course they're of course why would i reason by mrs allen told by wonderful magazine and uh even wonderful to hear it here from you right right all right you're ready for a new one we have another story yes this is a brand new exciting one i've never told this one before great very excited i'm sure it will come out seamlessly as if it was perfectly written you bet it will well you know these are sort of

written and then memorized and then told in the in the traditionals i can't wait yeah all right i'll tell you a story about johnny migory and this is how it starts there was a fella named johnny migory who was a real weed dumb cunt always shitting in his pants and making a complete ass of himself he was a total asshole and an embarrassment and it was great fun to slap him around anybody who could get within arms length of him would give him a fair slap and anyone around to see it would laugh and laugh and laugh he's just got one of those faces that it's an absolute pleasure to punch or slap and if you ever get him and yourself at the top of a flight of stairs do yourself a favor and knock him down he'll tumble arse over tea kettle and it'll be a laugh

for everyone involved and then he'll get down on his knees and he'll beg you to do it again because he loves loves loves the attention what a pathetic weed dumb cunt he is well anyway one day johnny migory got it in his head that he was gonna lock his brother in his basement his fucking idiots of a guy knocked his brother over the head with a salt lamp and dragged him into his fucking basement and tied him up but his brother was a lot smarter than he was you see and so his brother managed to get halfway up the basement door before johnny had to run down there and grab him and solder the basement door closed well a fucking idiot watching him there with a soldering iron with his pants full of shit his pants are literally always full of shit his fucking jackass and then something

happened that was really crazy because the doorbell rang and johnny migory's brother could hear his beautiful gorgeous wonderful brilliant wife upstairs saying she's gone missing i know you did it you fucking ass and then he heard the sound of slaps and he knew it was his wonderful wife slapping the hell out of johnny migory but then there was the sound of struggle and sure enough down comes the wife into the basement johnny migory tied her up too and so now they were both down there for a while and you might have thought they'd be sad or scared but all they could do day and night was laugh about what a weed dumb fucking cunt johnny migory was and what a stupid fucking plan he'd made and then finally seamus decided that he was gonna write a story for johnny

migory and so he wrote him a fucking story for him to tell in his little fucking tour of america and then he did something very exciting he remembered something johnny wouldn't have known which is down in this basement there was some explosives from the times of the troubles and so he says to johnny can i wear your jacket because it's cold down here and johnny gave him his jacket and he saw the explosives into the lining of the jacket and he set a timer for them to explode at 11 59 a.m on may the sixth oh boy and then he bade farewell to his dear stupid fucking cunt of a brother for him to go on his wonderful tour of america the end okay okay wait a minute wait for that story that i wrote wait a minute wait

there's a little post script here oh and as these stories always seem to end for some fucking reason he saw kelby number eight no good stuff it is good stuff though you know what here's what's funny yeah is that i think we say the phrase good stuff and a lot of times we're not thinking we're not seeing it consciously this was good stuff it's very exciting very dangerous the danger is exciting all right let's take a break all right all right when we come back we're going to be hearing from number seven oh boy lucky number seven we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang we're back hello comedy bang bang we're counting them down how are you hi comedy bang bang i love you i love you comedy bang bang welcome back we are on the

best of 2019 part three of four and uh we have cracked the top 10 and we are uh in the early stages of the top 10 though oh boy and uh this is do you want to just get to it i feel like we're in the early stages of the top 10 but certainly the midway of the countdown but the early stages of the top there's nothing we can do we are definitely in the first seven tenths yes i'm afraid to report the top 10 early stages of the top let's get to it let's get to uh this is what you voted on you the listeners let's get to you your number seven number seven okay number seven lucky number here in america certainly people love it i mean love it if you hit it on the craps table sometimes it's great sometimes it's great sometimes it's terrible sometimes people like

yay sometimes people are like boo yeah yeah has anyone who'd done that on a on a at a craps table and they have boo to the dice yeah yeah or to the roller i guess if i see snake eyes come up oh those snake eyes sound like snakes because they remind me of anaconda dangerous sighting but snakes of course represent uh the great deceiver yeah satan he speaks with the surface tongue he speaks with the serpents parcel tongue that's where you can speak to a snake that's uh harry potter yes where uh uh snakes speak in parcel tongue and certain wizards know how to speak it including the boy who lived himself harry potter harry potter harry potter so he can talk to snakes go talk to snakes snakes snakes snakes yes he can talk to snakes snakes snakes snakes

i don't know that sounded like what you were doing no i didn't mean to i was having trouble talking talking talking talking talking no i'm in a cave nitro burning funny card nitro burning funny cards they were telling us about the fuel who cares yeah well i guess well the festin furious movies do because they're always like to punch the nitrous but is that the same as nitro probably i don't know nitrous oxide laughing gas oh all right you know who would know siri siri is nitro the same as nitrous here's what i found siri what do funny cars burn what's the difference between nitrogen found what's the difference between nitrogen and nitrous oxide is what siri found and uh they say that oh this doesn't like if you're gonna look up something just put the

answer right at the top don't write a whole article about it yeah well some people say yes how many are the anecdotal bullshit uh i can't even tell you anyway since the middle ages people have been fearful of tone stools look get your own siri if you want to know the answers to this you don't look to us for these kind of things scott get your own siri this is my siri doesn't like you this is my siri don't be using my siri don't go using my siri all right this is number seven did we say number seven your number so okay great here we go this is episode 584 paul oh so far away from the curious club from january chow chow chow chow january 28th eighth eighth eighth a year 11 months ago wow uh very early on in our uh uh uh

not only our calendar year but our comedy bang bang eligibility year and this is an episode called weirdamony alamony tony i think i know which one this is yeah i think you do yes i think based on that title it sounds i think i've pieced it together we of course heard from uh alamony tony in the live in chicago episode and maybe for too long it's a long segment with alamony tony oh we did but in the clip we didn't hear that i'm just remembering it in my brain um and this was the inception of the character and uh uh this is with john hajman our good friend john hajman um and this is with yourself paul of tomkins as the aforementioned alamony tony wil heins is also in this episode but he is not introduced yet in this clip um and uh do you want to take us through the

process of coming up with the character alamony tony yes cream i think what happened was i was going to be i think on that episode i might have been you had planned on being somewhat maybe jw is still water that's not ringing for some reason it popped in my head you were michael jackson have i don't that's definitely not true it's definitely not true but i don't remember who it was but you came in said hey i'm gonna be this person it was an established character that i've done many times he's done many times and you'll hear it in the clip this is the earliest clip meaning uh this clip is the earliest in the show we are pulling a clip from usually we pull these clips from about the 20 minute in real deep in there this is literally the first moments of the

show is where this whole saga begins and then you were reading that week's catchphrase and the person who submitted the catchphrase listed as their name alamony tony right and that just tickled me you love that name it just it got like y'all laugh you'll hear it in the clip but y'all laugh being a nickname is hilarious to me yes and so you just jumped in as this guy yes first i did a voice that sounds like kick boss you'll yes and you'll hear it um uh and then uh i i was sort of saying like okay i know you need to go because i assumed that you wanted to segue into the character i was going to do but you just decided to do alamony tony the entire time i was just really enjoying it and came up with a great backstory for him and so we're going to hear a clip of of that and hear

all of that uh and you'll hear all of the wheels turning and paulsed uh brain and uh sky wheels keep on turning and uh so let's hear it this is your number seven weirdamony alamony tony number seven magneto only sips mojito zincognito i think he might have a drinking problem welcome to comedy bang bang uh thank you to alamony tony for that catchphrase submission you know alamony tony always out there paying his x y's when they rode yeah he loves it paying paying and proud of it he's you know what i'm gonna make this my nickname i love doing it so much i love doing court orders so much my court ordered obligations oh somebody mentioned my name alamony tony oh thank you so much for the catchphrase submission i love paying alamony how many x

y's do you have alamony tony as many as i can get how many is that it's seven i love seven i got seven x y's why they're all they're all beautiful i'm sorry it didn't work out it's my problem maybe i gotta rest the development i need to grow up but i hear about people like you i love paying alamony you sound a lot like my uh other friend buddy uh what's his name the last one should i know is your friend are you sure it'll sound different enough to hang around i don't sound different enough to hang around i don't think you sound different in the background let me come back through when in the court and that's me alamony tony oh hey there you are i love paying alamony there is something going around that changes voices that way i always wonder about someone

like you who's a serial marrier why why do you marry so many women i mean maybe you have issues that preclude you you know necessitating getting married you know i used to think that uh i got married for love because i just have so much love in my heart but now i realize i love paying alamony sure that's what it is it's the best that's why they call me alamony tony how much in alamony are you paying per month now well let's see let's see per month i'm gonna say it's somewhere in the neighborhood of twelve thousand dollars twelve thousand dollars split up among the seven x y no each oh oh my gosh so we're talking eighty four thousand dollars i am providing alamony so they may live in the matter which they become accustomed oh my god

you're paying like almost a million dollars a year in alamony oh shit i never did the math that's how much money do you make what have i done are you independently wealthy i'm independently wealthy oh i see okay how much money do you have in the bank my mother my my mother invented gaseous paper go i've rid of liquid paper but gaseous that okay liquid paper something that mike nest nest mom invented yeah from the monkeys yeah what a fun bit of trivia no i invented my mother invented gaseous paper which uh nasa uses of the space program oh i see did you also invent something akin to did you invent vh1 like mike nesmith invented mtv i invented vh2 oh okay yes certainly less popular well it's been very nice meeting you well okay i might be back later okay

who knows will you be back to pick us up later ha ha ha the simpsons what's this um maybe momu excuse me who uh who are you it's me alamony okay i just you were in shadow i was doing my warm-ups okay why are you warming up well because i'm going to be a guest on your show oh you are alamony tony you're gonna be a guest on the show that's correct okay he uh isn't there another guest schedule what happened i didn't see anyone out there i didn't see anyone out there at the lobby we have the odds and endsman coming up but uh he you know him from the catchphrase at the top of today's show please welcome alamony tony hello everyone scott thank you very much for using my catchphrase uh it's my pleasure when it's that good it's uh difficult not to use thank you very

much i appreciate that what do you do are you uh other than uh you're independently wealthy you're the the son of uh in the the gaseous paper the heir to the gaseous paper fortune uh but do you do anything yourself other than write catchphrases or i'm a bit of a weird al i don't know quite what that means you write parody songs yes i'd write parody songs okay uh are you you're certainly here's here's one here's one uh because i was listening to your guest mr husband talking about himself uh he's uh he's a liar of empire he's an old town crier that's from the it's like i'm a joker i'm a toker i'm a steve billamand song the joker right right some people call a moreese who the joker yeah some people call the joker moreese why do they do that as canon in the

bat mad universe does anyone ever call you weird alimony tony i wish they would but no one does i wish they would call me weird amoni alimony tony well i will weird amoni alimony tony oh i like the sound of that i like senator marquis may i ask a question alimony tony of course you may i've been married for a certain number of years that i already forget and uh it's been a while and i it's been a while my in my secret family i i'm the son of the secret family i'm not the husband in the secret family right it's been a while since i've been on the market independently wealthy novelty songwriter without a particular audience find uh find a future wife well it's a lot you gotta put yourself out there okay and a lot of times i find that i take the advice of a

movie i once saw and i meet women in the supermarket oh which which uh movie was i it was bary livenson's tin men oh tin men and what i will do is i'll go up and down the aisles looking lonely and sad that's very attractive to women yes someone who's lonely and sad well to a certain type of woman well that's true there's a certain vulnerable type there's someone out there for everyone and i found seven of those you're hoping for the full dozen yes from your lips to god's ears and then uh if you get five more you'll be paying uh 60 more thousand dollars a month unless i can restructure this alimony deal right because that now we're talking this is this is gonna cause a dent so were you to liquidate all of your assets how much money do you think that we're talking

in cash us dollars probably north of a trillion dollars a trillion dollars so no wonder giving away a million dollars a year who cares will you marry me and then divorce me and give me alimony can i preside over the ceremony because i feel like you are my really good friend uh scott marriage is very serious it's not a joke that's right it is can i interview you about your love first you can kiss me on my forehead but not the other place i wish that i could job but i have to marry for love i have to marry for love even though i know i will eventually get divorced what are you looking for in a partner i like a lady with brown hair i thought you said you were marrying for love you're just in to it for the brown hair i love brown hair well wait a minute scott that's

just one criterion thank you you know he's just beginning he's beginning a list would you like to hear the criteria collection of course criteria it's not all going to necessarily be super why is it the criteria collection called criteria exactly ridiculous anyway brown hair number one with a bullet i like a lady then way down below is man a steep drop off to number two is such a humor i like what do you like when you say a sense of humor everyone has a sense of humor but it's their own particular sense of humor that's you mean one like yours yes exactly where i say things and they laugh at it well we both agree that's funny someone who loves popular songs reworked with new words okay so so far you've mentioned someone's

physical attributes and two things that they like about you what am i the i love my curvy wife guy come on i just said brown hair that's not that big what's number four her being curvy i don't mind it i don't mind a little a guy with a little meat on the bones okay i don't mind a gal who has uh you know very thick bones thick bones and then then not a lot of meat or one of the other either very thin bones with a ton of meat or very string stringy meat with super thick bones you just like a certain shape however it gets there doesn't matter exactly well because i buy them i bought my wife's clothing okay and that's very nice i keep a closet because there's nothing like it when you bring a lady home and you say i've got a whole closet

of clothing for you try it on try it on well she has to fit the clothes because when we get divorced i keep the clothes at the house right is that in the prenup do you ever sign a prenup i always sign a prenup okay always sign a prenup and part of this prenup is i'm going i'm definitely going to give you money twelve thousand dollars oh yes the prenup the prenup is very it's very brief it simply states should we get divorced you will get twelve thousand dollars a month and i gotta keep those clothes i gotta keep those clothes is it worded like that i gotta keep those clothes it's an asterisk there's a lot of legal mumbo jumbo the bottom of the bottom of the i gotta keep those clothes has the wardrobe evolved and been added to since wife one or

one what year was the first uh it's updated as the as the fashions change so you throw some out i well i can't bear to do that it expands i treat them like the american flag and i burn them once they are once they are no longer fit for service i have a ceremony when i burn them i play a bugle yeah and uh i put i i burn them on top of the oven so you play the bugle as well so you are a musician i play one song in the bugle that is taps oh beautiful song did you have you ever written funny lyrics for taps of course i have let's hear some burning clothes burning clothes there it goes all the clothes smoke in my nose i'm divorced and now i'm forced to burning clothes burning clothes burning clothes so you know this song

yes i uh a big fan i didn't know where that came from i saw it on youtube yeah well that explains the one view well too i watched it i don't know just to make sure there were no mistakes sure yeah i don't know how i came across it what led me there i got down into a youtube hole were you searching uh song parodies i may have been you just typed the words song parodies into youtube and then you looked at every single listing i got down to bottom i did not look up the word weirdomonie though so i didn't get to it there i'd like people to look up the word weirdomonie alimony tony weirdomonie alimony tony that's me um so you uh when was your first wife what year when was your first wife when did you get married to your first wife you know what i mean

1998 whoa so you so it's been a very brief marriage it only lasted a year and then i think she married someone else she did who is this what was her name uh her name was katharine katharine wait wait what yeah huh what's that nothing i just thought that i have to do my wife's name oh wait how what did you get married uh september 25th 1999 oh that's very interesting and she has brown hair what can i ask you a question john uh did she have big bones with a little bit of meat or did she have tiny bones with a lot of meat this is how all women can be described one or the other it's strange i i don't think about women that way so you couldn't even hazard a guess publicly i i've not seen a cross section of her body okay what was the uh uh

what was your wife's maiden name if i may ask uh and did she change it to hodgeman no and no well i may not ask the former and that's right she did not change it to hodgeman correct okay so you could try guessing again you're a good guesser i really i've ruled out one which hodgeman hodgeman okay is it hodge woman that would be now this is strange oh my goodness because i was married to a woman named john named katharine hodge woman katharine hodge woman was your well this is this is too much of a coincidence i i'm i'm speechless as as am i although i'm talking all of a sudden i realized that my wife gets 12 000 a month of just walking around money i have no she hasn't she hasn't shared it with you wait a second wait a second wait a second

i'm remembering now all those checks coming back to me unopened return to send her address unknown she wanted nothing to do with me after we got divorced well i love my wife very much but that was dumb you're curving my money i'm sorry to either die as cast katharine said no she doesn't want the money hang on i'm gonna i'm gonna text her okay sure do you mind if i send her a picture of you i don't mind at all i love having my picture taken oh wow you're really posing hitting all those pose all those angles damn that's what it's about it's about tiny micro adjustments that's the key to getting your picture taken and getting it over with dear kath were you married to this man by any chance also we need eggs she probably would only

know me as tony i didn't say your name she wouldn't wait she wouldn't know you by picture by sight what he sent a picture yeah she would only know tony did you only know tony did you disguise your face yeah we got married in the dark and we lived in the dark for a year one of those like dark restaurants yes exactly i thought that's that's the way to live the greatest first blind date exactly and we that was almost almost literally blind that was our first day in 1998 we went to one of those completely dark restaurants right and he said let's keep this wonderful time i said why should we tap it with this i never want to find out if your hair is brown or not so given if this is true for all your wives really the color of the hair really is immaterial no

that was just the book but i don't do the same thing i don't live with all these women at the dark oh no of course now you don't do the same thing among your seven wives you just make them wear the same clothes each of my relationships is unique john have you gotten a text back uh no because i put my phone on airplane mode because i respect the studio okay we're never gonna get an answer put my phone on airplane mode do da do da there's another that was your other one that i went to oh you saw that one too yeah i'm the second view number seven ah yes good shit that voice is a voice that i love doing and it's based on mario perillo who's that he's this guy i don't know if he's still with us but uh i used to see his commercials when i was a kid i brought him here

what there's something called club perillo which was the which were these pre-packaged tours that you would take i guess in italy oh my god his name was mario perillo hi mario perillo for perillo tours and he would he would narrate the commercial and everything you would get and i just loved his i i've been imitating him since i was a kid and uh never used it for a character before and it's it just sort of happened for alimony tony wonderful wonderful uh and uh that's a really funny character and as heard before you brought him back in chicago and hopefully we'll bring him back again because he has a great backstory you haven't seen the last of alimony tony who have we seen the last of oh boy i see i see yeah for sure why do you other than the the the person in real life

passes away why do you retire a character um if they are if they are real people it it has become less interesting for me to do them just because they because there are real people and there are some there's still to me some relation to fact yes that makes sense you're you're constrained by by the limits of what they what the public knows about them already to a certain degree i mean my approach to those characters is always to like make up a crazy thing about them and make that the thrust of it but um but also the the it becomes it becomes a little boring after a while right now it's like having to having to come up with a new bit a new game for this same character over and over again although i will say you uh on tour you trotted out some of the old favorites of the

people who are real people cake boss and verner zog yes because i hadn't done them in a long time yeah you hadn't done them in a long time and they were great and you found new wrinkles and uh much like i do every morning looking in the mirror scott now you look the same as you did last year thank you but not that you're previous hope you wouldn't dig too deep really aged take the compliment 365 days yeah um well anyway uh a weirdamony alamony tony great new character all right let's go to a break gnc uh when we come back we're going to hear number six we're so close to the top so close i can taste it in my mouth all right we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this comedy bang bang we are here we are here we are

here we are here we're here and we're doing the best of 2019 part three and um i'm here with paul f tompkins of course i'm here with scott ocherman who has not left no i've stayed here the whole time you have there was one year where you did leave do you remember that where you said i didn't think this was going to take so long i gotta go and just left and so we reconvened another day yes and it was it was like right at the break in the middle of maybe our third yes out of four episodes and we talked about it on the thing but it was just like after you know after a break just days elapsed and we came back and that's when we decided to start allotting an entire day for these yeah this by the way this is a long day for me because i have this which is still happening

it certainly is and i have an improv show tonight right uh something after that and then i have a i have a dinner reservation at 9 45 p.m. whoa where are you going to dinner this is i don't want to by the time people hear oh because it's somewhere you go all the time you don't want people it's we're going to the tamo shantar oh okay there's six of us and that's a very popular restaurant at this time of year yes because they really do it up for christmas and this was the only reservation we could get for interesting because i i by the time people hear it i will have been to the tamo shantar the following night it's very true as well it's also true oh you are going to be there oh okay i think i'm gonna be there i hope you are yeah um but i will i go to

this restaurant a lot during the christmas season and this will be tonight will be my third trip in the christmas season yes okay then tomorrow fourth then do you hope to go again oh tonight yeah um i will go again i'm gonna go again when uh janie's family's in town um janie's got a family in town very exciting very dangerous well that's fun the holidays are fun and they are almost over because uh i mean today's december 30th obviously and tomorrow's new year's eve and then by the time we reconvene for our top four it'll be the day after new year's day in january second i will be in an undisclosed location in a bunker oh shit they're squirreling me away to protect me they're gonna make you into

a squirrel yeah they are and uh you know they cool up and i can't travel together uh in case of something were to happen yeah exactly we need to call each other in case it's emergency hey can you get down here i'm a squirrel i got a flat in brazil um but yeah i'll be uh somewhere don't worry about me um not going to tokyo this year i'll tell you about it after the fact not got tokyo not gotta do but i will i will be there currently when this episode comes out so i do not want to tell anyone i'll be there in spirit good yes i hope that uh you will die and haunt me do you want me to haunt you though out of anyone to haunt me i would it be worse if it were a friend like what if i well i mean i guess it if it's a friend like what's a friendly

haunting where it's just like you make weird things happen you're not trying to scare the person i wonder if the haunting would be executed differently if it were executed exactly the same but it were by a friend would it be easier to take or would it be worse you're like hey you're a friend of mine why are you doing this i mean you don't know what the what the what it is that the the haunt is trying to communicate is all haunting trying to communicate something or is it just like look i'm stuck around here and if i'm stuck here i'm gonna frighten the shit out of you i think some hauntings are like hey this is my space i'm trapped here my house my rules if my rules are i move shit around i make weird noises i sit on the end of your bed uh man do you hope you're a ghost or

do you just want to go no i want to be a fucking ghost at least you'd still be horrible i'm scaring people it's kind of fun when you do it like on halloween in a haunted maze i don't know if i if i were a ghost i'd want to be a haunting if i were a ghost this is a parody of the beyond say song if i were a boy i would want to be like a hunting of hillhouse ghosts like that guy that has the big long cane floats around yeah looking for his hat that guy looks cool he's a cool guy and you get to wear a hat yeah yeah that'd be fun he was a cool guy he was a very cool guy i liked him i liked him i mean i liked him liked him you had a crush on him scott i can't believe you didn't say something before would you tell him yes of course i'm

too scared to do it myself i don't want to say anything but i think he's a crush on you too oh my god ask him if he wants to go around with me go around that's what we said when i was young do you want to go around with me not go steady it was weird nah i got steady nah i got steady nah i got steady you know that new york times article that we were looking up on tour about like the certain things oh yeah pinpoint where you lived yeah yeah by uh asking you 12 questions i believe that of various regional sayings and it was it was amazing they said that i was from santa anna which is the the town over from where i i lived it was crazy how and every person who took it but what if i they they did not include going around in there and that maybe did they

was that in there no that going around was not right that may have only been specific to that particular like a year at my only my school and maybe it could have been because someone misheard going steady or something yeah i in some places i know it was like a go with each other they would they would just say that but i that there's a word we may have talked about this before but the word john is a is a philadelphia slang term yes right that evolved after i left there so you never said it no i did not grow up with that word what does it mean again it means like thing it means like a situation you know yeah it's like it's like an all-purpose kind of word that is used it's used liberally but always specifically like there's there's definitely

things places times where you would not say it okay my mother uses deal it's sort of like that yeah so that deal yeah so bring me the deal over there yeah it's kind of like that bring me the join over there yeah uh was that your juan no juan hey join join will you go around with me you go around me juan i want to give you a kiss on your big smackers i want to give you a smooch um so you never said it so when you hear younger philadelphians they say it they say it it's written in print a lot really out and how's it how's it spelled a j a w n juan see people using an advertising and stuff like that interesting the first john is on us the first john was on us the first john is on us like it's a deal the first john is on us interesting are you trying to do an exit i i don't what do the

first john is on us really no what is the philadelphia first john is on us the first john is on us no no you don't have it no come down to get some chicken pizza crab fries i do if you do the first john is on us first john is on first john is on us better better i do like hearing it when uh on like like newscasters or when i hear it creep in to people i'll i always laugh and i look up where they from and i think nira tanden is uh she's like a commentator on yeah and so i heard her say you knew once and i was like where's she from and i looked it up and and that was exactly where she was from who did you just have on the show who's from philly from ferns philly from ferns uh the documentary oh uh uh uh uh rika rick yeah rika shankar she realized she was from philly

you know you knew yeah there's a couple words where it creeps in with her the news or those are hard those those those are hard those are hard horde those are hard i would love to have this be a stature premium show you just teaching me how to do a philly accent and by the by the end of the 10-minute episode i'm perfectly fluent yeah um all right have we all right have we where are we number six uh we are yeah yeah i'm here too okay when we've taken the break this is the part of the episodes by the way where we get lost in it and don't know if we're just about to do it right okay so let's i'm lightheaded though for some reason yeah all right let's get to it this is your number six number six okay number six uh we're still lost in what we're doing we're lost in the

sauce and you're the boss all right this is uh another relatively recent one this is episode 622 this is an episode and this is from october 7th i don't know so this is just outside of the curious club yep it certainly is and this is an episode entitled pillow coffin rudy north returns oh dear yes oh dear oh dear have you heard this episode probably probably probably not i would this is with jason manzukas shondistan lily sullevin and tim balts okay so uh there's a couple of we heard from tim balts uh earlier in the countdown we heard uh his righteous gemstones episode where he was playing randy snuts um and we're gonna hear a little bit of him as well but uh since we haven't talked about them yet let's talk about uh shondistan and lily sullevin shall we let let's do

first of all shondistan uh really funny dude i believe i first had him on the show lauren lapkis texted me and said hey you gotta have shondistan on um he just did her show which was uh with special guests yes lauren lapkis and i think he did a genie on that one or something like that he did he played skelo he played skelo oh we played a genie on comedy bang bang yes yes the uh the show was about wishes right right right right and lauren played frank dorito who had said to get his book of world records for making the most wishes right right right so uh anyway shon uh came on and i thought it was really funny and uh but then pretty early on he started doing this character rudy north um rudimentary north uh and uh uh and then proclaimed himself

to be a fan favorite yes and kept talking about how he was a fan favorite and it came true yeah he really made it he secreted that shit he made it happen he did um he made it come true he's always really funny on the show and rudy north um i think his his first episode was on one of our previous best ofs in a previous year where he essentially what it what he is he's a dirtbag guy who and when shon first brought him in to do his his main the the main thrust of his character was that he would uh take over people's jobs by punching them in the throat and just taking over their jobs and that was enough but that was enough to do to do but then but then at the end of the episode uh he casually threw out that he was immortal but didn't have time to go into it and

he was just at the right as we were ending the episode yeah it was a boring story and then since then we've been been unraveling uh his backstory but he still always says he doesn't have time to go into it so so um earlier on episode 600 i believe that he died and went to hell and took over satan's job maybe yeah and uh every time he also was on the show he would uh do his own previously on comedy bang bang and he would then recap what what he had been up to um so this is episode 622 the first thing that we're gonna hear by the way i'm not even talking about what gave the the episode its title the pillow coffin that was an argument that jason and i got into uh which eventually the fans all wrote to me and said that i was right and i was correct in the on the right

side of the argument and i appreciate that uh everyone uh and jason essentially lost the argument in the court of public opinion and so i appreciate that um and it was a strange moment that i was surprised went on as long as it did well he i knew what you were saying yeah you knew what i was saying yeah absolutely i agree with you by the way yeah and he took weird uh a fence at it and wouldn't let it go and thankfully the fans uh are all on my side of course and have castigated him and uh uh he shall be cast out of this show and never be on again if then i offend the fuck you but um in any case i'm not even going to play any of that clip because i want to play clips from these three great performers and then uh lily sullivan is someone we should also talk

about she started doing the show relatively recently within i believe the last eligibility year for was her first episode and she is a great improviser uh from chicago yeah and uh we got to know her and she started doing the episodes and she's another person that i really enjoy doing the show with lily's so funny and i was so glad to hear her on the show so much over this past year very solid always is reliable uh and dependable on time but i mean like brings it you know what it means like there's not there aren't episodes where it's like message received scott you're in so many of these yeah but i don't always bring it and i know that you that's what you mean we went on tour together i know and you're key and everyone loved it i know you're always like i hope he brings

it i tell you that right before every show you better fucking bring it you introduce me that way and he better bring it this time i hope he brings it um but lily's great and uh uh i would like to see more of her come 2020 and more of her in next year's best ofs as well so we're gonna hear uh we're gonna hear first of all rudy north um coming back from the dead and then we're going to hear lily sullivan who is playing a journalist virginia patricia and then we're also gonna hear tim balts who debuted a character that he just returned to on our uh two weeks ago on the holiday episode darin maticek who runs the uh national bobblehead and hall of fame museum so the three different clips three different people uh let's hear now this is your number six number six our next guest

takes um well this this needs to be set up a little bit it needs a little bit of explaining if that's possible previously on comedy bang bang i am a dirtbag you're my best friend i love you for the last three years i mean yes i'm a mortal you were also a magical being i was walking down the street just the other day i was walking down the street just the other day i've got a new job well scott i'm the devil now the devil himself this is the last time i can appear on the podcast what no you're one of our favorite guests with every second i'm outside of hell my power grows weaker scott and it was evidence of an enemy who's been hunting me down since well the very beginning of time now that i'm in hell well

there's room for this enemy to run free this enemy is my daughter hi hi hello my name's judy oh hello judy uh judy north she may come in the form of another comedic character you will never know scott rudy don't go owner of a donut shop i know the fans are going to be so sad i think they will be i mean you're one of our favorites yep goodbye scott goodbye rudy goodbye it's been a long time i should have left you without a no pizza of course there's no way that in some complicated turn of events i might appear again in the future

i got big nuts and if you're gonna criticize anything you gotta criticize my hello scott rudy rudy north scott i'm here i'm back earned he's back i did that was dramatic that was huge hello jason hello good to see you rudy um first of all you gotta know i'm coveted well not as piping hot as usual usually you're fresh out of the oven you are i'm coming in a little less hot to the touch yeah you seem a little somber a little i mean that was a contemplative it was contemplative for sure i definitely am coming in hot but just not as hot as i mean i i i would not want to touch you with a bare hand i'm still sweating a little bit right how you doing scott i'm i'm great rudy uh jason how are you you know rudy i'm terrific

i just want to say i loved you on legion thank you so much i appreciate that rudy it was incredible i love it it was great all right thank you so much i can catch up with that it's like a wolf or something anyways i'm glad to be back scott and um yeah i mean uh as everyone who'd listened to that previously on to tell i had a quick question was there an episode recently where a tie fighter was on the show and someone talking about the force because i distinctly heard a tie fighter passed by yeah well of course i i do want to say i'm back from hell i'm no longer the devil scott you're no longer the devil okay rudy north is has been on the show for a few years yes a few years and of course i quickly became a fan favorite but there was a proclaim yes of course babe but

self-acclaimed but of course self-fulfilling prophecy i look i just want to chop it up with my friends and i don't really want to talk about the long journey it took for me to what are you chopping up yeah chopping up a salad like a cob salad you know i'm not a big salad guy same i'm with i'm with that's canon that of course is canon i'm big on the goose goose and sort of yeah like sort of ancient grains oh gotta love those quinoa i love a quinoa what's good for the goose goose is good for the gander gander did she i think he might have i think he might what i want to know that okay let's not talk about your very complicated backstory yeah because i think that's going to be a sticker premium show or something yeah this this may be a from what i heard just unpacking

the rudimentary north yeah from what i heard the last six months getting from hell to earth is a epic story that i think is about six episodes of a homeric odyssey oh wow they're calling it a podcast opera so you're angling for a stitcher premium painting is that what i'm not angling for anything you know this is smart though because that the fans demand it like the ear wolf will have to give it to you on these shows we don't have time to talk we don't have time to get into these but if we do want to get into it right let's let's talk about what you want to talk about what's going on well i'm looking for a new job scott you're looking for a new job okay and um it's a lot harder than it used to be scott yeah so your last job of course was being satan in hell

i was being satan and of course it's not really something that translates to an application no because look i have a lot of experience but then they ask how you got the job and i'm like magical powers is that part of the application how would you get the job it's like what job experience date beginning dates were ending how did you get this job i would also assume that looking at your resume would be like a really eclectic group oh yeah one of them being santa it'd be like donut shop it'd be lift driver target employee donut shop owner santa claus the devil christ mystery salesman they're gonna ask me why i'm such a journeyman scott and i don't have a answer for me yeah i understand so what what what field of work are you looking to get into well scott the other

day i was walking down the street of course it was the other day of course it was the other day i was walking down the street and um i walked past uh kcrw okay that is a local to california los angeles radio station public radio station and because it was public i thought they can't stop me from coming in here it's like a library it's like a library your guess what your taxpayer dollars pay bills that whole thing exactly as far as i'm concerned and this i think is the truth for anybody uh in the world in this country rather not the world uh you can go into any public radio station and they have to put you on yeah they have to give you a drive time dj you have to be it because that's what npr is all about drive time dj i mean we talk about the

open door policy here but i mean there yeah anyone anyone so right now i'm the sidekick for a uh zucru morning zucru radio station on kcrw nick harcourt and everyone no they switch it up jason bentley they switch it up jason bentley and rooty north yeah yeah you exactly did i come in i'm like what's up mother fuckers no how you doing how are you doing i'm i'm so good thanks again what were you saying was funny so it's funny uh that you say that you guys were in town doing theater um because well i i'm retired i've been retired for you're a journalist yes is that right you're a retired journalist i'm an informal journal informal journalist oh a citizen journalist they sometimes say these exactly so um i go to different theater throughout the

evanston area including different theater theatrical events at various theaters yeah productions um recently i saw a uh fourth grade rendition of oliver oliver the uh based upon the dikenzi and oliver twist saga can i ask scott were you ever in a production of oliver i was not although i've seen many a bill sykes tread upon the boards in my day uh but i've never actually essayed any of those roles yeah yeah i i truly this this um specific uh show that i saw i had a lot of opinions about so i typically write about the productions afterwards and i send them into the local newspaper are they published sometimes they are yeah yeah evanston journal as a editorial as editorial not editorial not reviews not in the arts section no as editorial are you are you uh a

lot of opinions contained within your oh yeah yeah yeah so but you are i got a lot to say you are on the masthead it's not a letter to the editor no it's an editorial great it's editorial yeah okay and so you know for example in this case i like to go to the talk back after the play and then i take the sign of a good fourth grade shows have yeah so i said this one i said i i said when i saw angels in america i was like where's the talk back yeah i know i've spent six hours here i said i want to talk back tony kushner out here i got a lot to say yeah so i said that this one i said i got up and i said so you guys alone by the way did you know anyone in the play why did you know i'm not a soul not a soul not a soul contained therein i stood up i said first

of all the theater's freezing i don't understand how you expect us to watch this i'm frozen to the bone and secondly how how what was the temperature could you get a uh 69 that's i mean that's i mean that's a hilarious temperature should i ever heard i mean that's like that sounds like so free i know you want a high five right now but it's not that kind of show i'm gonna reach over other i do we go i mean all right let's just let's just get it out of it all right all right okay we got it all right good my lips were blue my lips are uh are you blue with your lips in the 69 okay i don't know what you're trying to get out of here this was the first thing you said this was the first thing i said i i said was it the first thing anyone said were you the first

to rise to your feet absolutely can i ask a question were you the only person at the talk bank there were some people cleaning up okay oh were they talking back was this a formal talk back or were you just talking back to the people who are cleaning up and kind of breaking the stage some of the actors like came out to meet their family exactly you know they were around and everyone's everyone's talking about the show giving each other compliments i said hold on a second because i got a couple other things to say i said first of all real basic approach to doing oliver right we could have done something fun set it in the 70s now you said you said we could have we could have done something fun but you have no involvement in this production

no no i i my son went to the rival school when he was when he was coming up oh okay um but coming up where do you mean when he was growing up when he was coming up and um so i said this has nothing to do with that but okay this is absolutely you know you guys could have had something fun here the orphan 70s production of of oliver be like with everyone with like afros and so i'm thinking exactly the orphans let's put that in the 70s right let's do disco with that platform shoes tiny little boys in bell bottom pants sure that's not a stretch that the audience would be on board for that sure so your review is a full suggestion on what genre to change the play to you and your review forgive me sounds a lot more like note yeah it's kind of like you

want to be the director well they publish it and guess what everyone was up in arms with me that's irresponsible of the newspapers there were lots of letters responding to mine you got to talk to so many people down at the newspaper because well she wants to she's not going to talk to them she wants to be published get in the truck man i just wow man yeah i don't know so can i ask you a question have you ever thought about coming out of retirement to maybe direct some of these plays oh god well i'm a very busy woman at home what did you retire as was that your job i was the ceo of a um one of those companies that makes the pillows that has sayings on them sayings on them one of those pillows that has sayings one of the one of those companies that

you were the ceo of a company you'd rather not mention you just say it's one and so you know pillows like live love die live love die those three different grim message those inspirational pillows is that one pillow or three different live love on the front die on the back so if you die in your sleep they just turn the pillow around that's fuck smaller feet keep you closer to the stove things like that oh i don't know are you writing these when you were working there were you right okay and i was hiring the people who wrote them mostly family members was this your company were you the ceo of your own company yes well it started as my father's company but i'm a self-made woman and i inherited it oh oh those two things was it a pillow company when your father

had it um it was it was um but it was more like the pillows that you guys were talking about long pillows long oh sure like you shortened the pillows and added sayings to them exactly so you went from a sleep pillow to a decorative pillow company that was your innovation for your family's business exactly and how is the business now when you say you're thriving uh well it's uh we're good online you are you're good online so it still exists online but brick and mortar no longer yes did you have brick and mortar pillow stores is that a thing if we did oh that seems like it was like ill advised what was it called pillows and more something like that it was called don't forget that pillow don't forget that but wait let's forget that because most people forget the pillow yeah

when you're shopping for something it can be easy to forget the pillow when it has a saying right yes you never forget the saying on a pillow right well did any say uh never forget and have like a picture of the twin towers sure falling we did have one with the twin towers but it didn't say anything oh okay cool smart i like that was it one of those pillows that you could like run your hand up and down it would change the image and so in one image the towers are standing in the other they have crumbled around you know they didn't make that technology told recently but i would hire you anything about controlled demolitions or oh what about building seven is that in do you have any building seven pillows oh god i wish 9 11 melt steel beams i wish anything that's like

little feet keep you closer to the stove 9 11 was an inside job no nothing nothing like that nothing like that so darin it's so nice to meet you you're uh and historian and historian and an entrepreneur oh wow entrepreneur okay we have a lot of entrepreneurs on the show not as many historians and are the two related did your entrepreneurial spirit come out of your historian kind of uh career it did it did the the passion that i wanted to pursue and my hobby grew into my entrepreneurship i am the co silent co-founder of the national bobblehead hall of fame and museum in milwaukee wisconsin oh wow the national bobblehead museum is that what you said and hall of fame and hall of fame hall of fame for bobbleheads or hall of fame well that's fun

because it gets sports people in it and you know what bobbleheads the the inductees into the hall of fame are the hall of famers of the sports themselves it's not like it's this bobblehead is so good yeah we're inducting bobbleheads not people okay that's this is why we ask but funny thing funny you should mention bobbleheads are usually of people sure and sometimes animals a fox but are you is the hall of fame i'm so sorry to clarify that's all right is the bobblehead hall of fame just say a fox a fox okay i just want to make sure it's a fox and a bear all right is the bobblehead hall of fame represent the hall of famer sports figures that have bobbleheads so like for example or are they just good bobbleheads pete rose is ineligible to be in the baseball

hall of fame but he could be such a good bobblehead yeah that's what i'm asking could his bobblehead be in the bobblehead hall of fame yeah not to further confuse things but it can great what about what about that fox did he get into the hall of fame yeah the really good fox did the good one did yeah how many foxes are in there uh two two okay but the really good one was yeah there are two really good ones that are in there but also pete rose bobblehead is in there hang there and bobblehead is in there okay Ted Cruz bobblehead is in there Ted Cruz bobblehead what makes that bobblehead yeah hall of fame worthy uh pretty much someone saying hey i'm mailing you my bobblehead will you put it in your hall of fame but then let me ask you this because you also run the bobblehead

museum yeah so are those ones you pick up yourself i don't want to further confuse things but the bobblehead museum and hall of fame are one in the same oh okay every bobblehead the same collection in the museum is in fact in the hall of fame is there a venn diagram where there are parts that are in the museum and hall of fame but not do you know what i mean that's a great point they are almost a concentric circle oh geez so now you mentioned three co-founders and you said you're a silent co-founder uh-huh describe the the corporate structure because you're talking so much about it right now right yeah uh well because i love it it's my passion it's my hobby it's my job but you're not being silent yeah when does the silent part start meaning when you started

the business you were a mysterious figure who i was the money man got it so you so somebody else was the the idea person yes okay so this is not your idea you just provided the capital that's right so you saw the opportunity but you didn't necessarily have the passion no i had the passion oh great i had the money and i had two friends that had a bigger bobblehead collection than i had oh how big was yours when you started mine was about uh 1000 bobbleheads 1000 they had 1200 bobbleheads and between them 1500 bobbleheads respectively oh wow see 2700 bobbleheads and then it's grown we opened our museum in hall of fame uh earlier this year in february oh yeah and we have almost 7000 bobbleheads wow you and people are a specific figure you can't it's all and i can't you can't almost 7000 but

specifically it's 6969 wow i love it 69 69 i love that so you have vibes all around so uh uh where did you get all these do people send them you said or you're buying them or well i usually would get three weeks of vacation per year and i would just drive around the country buying up bobbleheads with my disposable income and what did you do his story uh well because of this i'm a historian but i was an actuary in real life oh okay oh i see an actuary uh you were in the insurance game and you have a lot of disposable income from that uh do we're on a bonus structure where the more policies you signed you got more money or i'm trying to see like were you purely on salary can you break down i don't have so much money i could answer that do you have any tax do

do you have any tax forms i'd like any liens on any of your properties anything like that nope nothing like i was your finances structured was it a bonus at the end of the year are you salaries in an hourly or weekly was it an expected bonus where everyone was like oh no we didn't get our bonuses i don't know how i'm gonna not to further confuse things but everything you guys okay great that's what it was um and an actuary like in being an actuary are you like in the business of risk assessment risk assessment for you know people's mortality or for was it specific to industry or for museums that you know might be set on fire or bobbleheads that break anything that has any risk associated and money associated with an actuary comes in crunches the numbers

and then it's party time can i ask you about and then after the numbers are crunched and then you pardon and then you party can i ask you what's the most expensive bobblehead are there any rare valuable ones here uh yeah in our museum yes there are some they're extremely or any museum i'll take any museum most museums have expensive stuff in them scott sure uh but i guess bobblehead museums are limited to those they're well us you know really technically there's only one which is the museum and hall of fame and yeah we have some very expensive bobbleheads what's your favorite bobblehead my favorite bobblehead yeah probably robin yount of the milwaukee brewers oh okay born and raised in milwaukee um harvey's wall bangers brew crew for life well okay so you you were born

and raised in in milwaukee yep and uh uh that's wonderful was this was this given out at one of the games like at a game where do they give this out that was unfortunate i tried to pick up the slide i mean roody jumped in there but scott like froze i got stage fright all of a sudden it's like i'm big god for six months and i don't even know who scott is anymore scott you look like i said where am i i suddenly became just like woke up aware of my surroundings you're like what was happening where am i how long has this been going on all right let me kind of like i'm guessing that's rude in the early 11 years of this but that is wonderful it is wonderful thanks yeah how much is admission to the bobblehead uh right now it's six dollars for admission but you're planning to

change or yeah or you have changed recently yeah we have changed recently it used to be four dollars now it's up to six dollars but we've added a lot of things like you can you can drink there's a full bar inside the oh neat open bar or do you charge per cocktail that's a great question now i know i'm wearing the shirt that says ask me anything i'm a dumbass but it's not an open bar stop i'm just saying that'd be a great deal six more six dollars to get in and free drinks more businesses should do that number six and there we have it three different clips three different people you can't say that that's not what happened truth and advertising although i will say there were five people in those clips so but there are three different people true but that means three

if there's five people there's definitely three people yeah definitely five people is equal to three people yeah you just plus two it look it's simple to get from three to five you start with three then you plus two it now you got five we should do schoolhouse rock no songs just condescension it's easy it's easy dummy you have three then you plus two it there's five three's a magic number uh do you remember i wanted to sing that song for three oh yeah why i don't remember i don't remember any episode of three of them i said if we ever do a live show yeah we should sing a song at the end and then yeah we all forgot about it we uh yeah i i i don't even remember it now and you just told me the response i got back was yeah okay so i felt like maybe i

should forget this idea and we did although it still would be fun and what would we do we would just sing it no uh we'd also make homemade ice cream on the stage oh that sounds great yeah for the audience or just for us just for us if we eat in front of them how dickish would that be they watch the whole process and then they watch us eat it this is good and there's enough for everyone we make a ton of it we make a ton of it we just do not let them have any and we throw it out into a into a garbage can right in front of them ready to a garbage can right to a garbage i like to throw this ice cream right to a garbage can in front of you that's how mad you make me that this is from a marriage story i think it is like a full of this good ice cream

garbage can right fire you all right let's go to a break uh when we come back we will have oh my gosh we're cracking the top five as chris rock said he says it in the movie we're cracking the top five i want to get drunk so bad i'm ready to crack the top five all right we'll be right back after this comedy bang bang we're back with paul if tomkins who is currently on his phone i am on my phone but i am always listening what are you checking on your phone my glucose levels how are they they're off the charts in a good way yeah they're amazing levels people are talking about my glucose did you see all of them it's guys i'm my lovely wife texted me what would she text to a man like you she was just checking in with me to see how my day was going that's very nice

she's very nice i don't like to do stuff like that when i leave the house radio silence and do you expect out of cool up as well of course like don't contact me forget you know me forget you know me for eight hours no i earlier uh in my in my youth in relationships first i think when you're feeling insecure in a relationship uh and i'm not saying that's what you are doing right now with your text i'm i'm just saying that earlier what i was doing was the constant need to check in and assess how your relationship is going i think when you're unsteady in a relationship it's like hey how are you doing but you're really saying province of the young of course but uh uh nowadays it's like look we got our own thing going on yeah man you know well my my wife is still very much like young

lovers ah that's so cute we're adorable i would love to see you make love it would love you sex i have tapes you do yeah tapes uh multiple tapes of us having sex really every single time you've done it every single time wow every and we watch the previous sex in order to before the next sex wow previously on sex yeah we watch it we're like yeah yeah yeah this is good this is good okay and then we try different things we add subtract whatever and they're they're like displayed in our living room i'm surprised no one ever remarks i've never taken them down why you should i should i should have a gander we'll lend them out to you enough for the good absolutely do you have a vcr oh no it's only vcr

that's how i laugh that's how that's your laugh yeah that's how you laugh all the time all right um you know how i laugh i'd love to hear it like say say a funny thing oh shit um that's pretty funny but funnier than that oh shit balls ha ha ha ha ha like a receipt came out of your mouth yeah it just says ha that it showed you you read it and you realize i laughed wow well speaking of receipts i got the receipts meaning the poll results oh and we have to get to it uh let's get to what you voted on for your episode number five number five all right number five is alive johnny five johnny five the robot who fell in love speaking of robots and receipts coming

out of the mouth did he ever have a receipt coming out of his mouth probably i've never seen that movie neither by they made a couple right short short circuit movies one in one and two short sir short circuit to you short circuit circulated circulated circulate short circulated i'd like to see those movies oh i'd like to see those movies i wouldn't kick those movies out of bed for being a lawyer that's a call back to eight hours ago when we first started this i know i know all right this is number five this is episode 583 from january 21st so far away from the curious another january but uh a week earlier than weirdamony alamone tony who who ho ho ho and this is an episode entitled batman nine nine batman nine nine batman nine nine

do you remember this episode no you maybe would have listened to it uh this is an episode with our good friend chelsea paredi sure who people know from brooklyn nine nine which is i believe why it was titled batman nine nine because i think she and i were talking about her disinterest in the topic of batman a topic would just come up quite frequently on these best ofs but probably the title should have been more specific than that but it didn't hurt its ranking because it is at number five not um this is we also have john gemberling who comes up a little later uh in the episode but it will not be represented in this clip but john uh is a very funny guy um and primarily i believe uh this was voted into whoa jesus h christ

you are scott that's rude behavior from a rude boy sorry but that was a water burp okay it was not based on anything else other than i just had a water burp he has a vodka burp he has a whiskey burp he has a lager burp so primarily i think this episode was voted into the top five due to the performance of uh a man named drew tarver mm-hmm that's normally when i pause you jump in and say oh yeah he's good or something you have no opinion drew i love true you know that i do know that it's just uh we're not speaking right now real i know you and i are speaking we're doing these best ofs i'm not looking at you i'm looking at

someone you can't see and i'm telling this person we cannot speak right now what what are we doing what are we doing wait what are we doing what are we doing i'm not looped in on this bit no drudal sees the best he's the best of course uh he uh came back and returned to the show with a character that had been on i believe last year's best ofs uh the 80s new wave singer martin sheffield lickley that's right and uh he uh is a new wave singer sort of a contemporary of martin fry of abc certainly uses abc's backing tracks it certainly does um or uh perhaps uh uh the human league uh phil oakley who did the title song of electric dreams another movie about a robot electric dream and a song of electric dreams title song of electric dreams dreams

so um drew is really funny and uh he he sings these great songs um written by a couple of guys we'll talk about that in a second but why don't we just hear the actual clip and let's get to it this is your number five number five all right we need to get to our next guest he is uh a singer and he's been on the show before uh he was on the show last year and we learned a lot about him uh he is uh primarily works within the 80s new wave genre he was uh very popular back then please welcome to the show back to the show martin sheffield lickley hello hello my darling lovelies how are we doing i'm good it's very nice to see you this is chelsea peretti hello chelsea oh hi how are you i'm good thank you um oh that's good my homage uh martin uh let me

remind our our listeners and chelsea here who is not here when we recorded last and probably has not listened to the episode although i listen every week i know you're a big fan every week day um you are a singer that's correct uh you had uh a band yes musical comedy two equals love two plus two equals is the name of my band but you'll have to forgive me um i'm a bit of a sour purse today uh i'm so sorry a long story you were uh but i've had creative differences with my band oh i see two plus two equals love all right well the last time that we we heard from you you were still in the band two plus two equals love that's right and we caught up with you because you had uh several singles where you talked about various tragedies yes i lost my wife i lost my son i lost my postman

i lost i knew i know one person in every cemetery in the world well no in america in the u k oh yes and were you close with your postman because oh my god yes i mean i see him all the time martin would forge just these white hot relationships yes we were very will they won't they and he would deliver my mail there was a question whether he would deliver your mail or not well we were where they won't they i mean it's right there in the whole rhyme he always would nor rain nor sleep nor snow he always went not since the shutdown oh that's true that's true that's true but yes i have split with them and i am a solo artist now you're a solo artist well congratulations thank you thank you yes i told myself how to use a drum machine and a synthesizer

and now i am making the music that i really want to make so your band members were primarily in charge of the drum machine and the synthesizer yes and you were in charge of vocals yes absolutely yes that was the uh that's how you split up uh the the the jobs yeah me drumming machine and synthesizer so now now you're doing now i'm doing all of them and you know i'm done with that top 40 whole shit oh okay i you know i must confess for i had never heard any of your songs before you did the last episode so i don't know that they were in the top 40 but they were aspiring to be they were they were they were top 40 ask um that's interesting they uh you know my new music is is music that i've always wanted to write so this is a change of pace exactly now i remember

garth brooks uh chelsea i don't know if you're a brookshead oh major remember when he uh uh got that alter ego uh chris uh what was his name chris gains remember and he just he wanted to do more like uh uh personal music not in the country genre i would imagine that very very similar what i'm doing i mean i haven't changed up my look much but my songs are now they're rule describe your look i mean i i look like a cold tan bird right with no feathers right so something very cold but it has just gone on a trip yes just because you know i just went on a trip because i'm tan that's the our one piece of evidence exactly but i took a trip away from my bandmates but my new music is it's roar it's and it's me bearing my soul is you mean roar like you're

saying raw i think it's his english yeah it's his roar not roar because katie perry did that no no no it's roar more it's his english accent he's from the southern part of english yes bring him to bring well i'm actually from wilkinshire dirt shire flat ground shire oh i ran through that field yeah it's crazy right it's it's i think i wouldn't say beautiful but it's not beautiful it's urban it's yeah yeah it's a field yet somehow urban very wet there's a lot of trash in it yeah yeah but it is rural but it feels urban yes yeah but i wrote uh uh my my new song is a this is me bearing my and this is more personal music for you even though your previous songs were seemed very personal about your son being dead yes no this is very personal this is more personal

than those way more person how old was your son when he died he was eight years old oh my god it was a big tragedy he he wanted to write a tears in heaven type song right i was gonna say but his son didn't fall out the window no my son my son died of emphysema so it was a different song than tears in heaven i'm not no you've never seen that video there's that little video that little kid smoking cigs yeah the little youtube video my son watched that started smoking cigs and then you've never seen that video so i won't watch it because if you do you know yeah no it's killed so many people yeah yeah um but this new song is is me bearing my soul you've said that several times and i'm excited to hear it yes can i ask you one question yes did you bring some of these

songs i did i have them here we have okay well why don't we hear some of them this is mark this roll this is me bearing this is you bearing your soul here we go hit it i'm working out at the love gym where the muscle you train is your heart instead of punching bags they have kissing bags and the person called trainer is your wife the love gym charges a membership but instead of cash you play with a hug love gym don't got a swimming pool instead they got a kissing room a kissing room there's a room where you kiss don't understand i explained it clearly the love gym don't have any towels you wipe your sweat with little chocolates there are no trebles and there are no weights all it has is a kissing room the love gym is not a very good gym if you

want to work out go to a normal gym a normal gym the love gym a belly total fitness but for love instead thank you oh i'm like crying that's thank you so personal thank you remember you can't trust anyone that's the message that was the theme of that i maybe i didn't get it for that but uh you know i'm kidding of course wow amazing yes and also just it's it reminded me of some of Beyonce's music where you're really tripping over the words so quickly and yeah there's no way i could karaoke that because it's no like clear rhythm no and also the words would turn pink so quickly i wouldn't know exactly racing and rushing or the key to good music is to take the biggest inhale of your life and then speed through it so what what was that song based on you mentioned

was personal but uh it seemed to be about some sort of uh ballies gym with chocolate and no that was obvious that was me i've been dealing with tragedy you're dealing with stuff oh you didn't mention metaphor you mentioned the trainer is your wife but wasn't your wife dead well she was but it's a metaphor oh okay god that's actually the wife is a metaphor the gym is real yeah it's all a metaphor okay everything is a metaphor everything the wife yeah the all the fixings but it was devastating you know my former bandmates they continue to tour as two plus two equals love that doesn't seem right i mean it seems like you know i know it's awful and they have a new lead singer who's this farthington cheshire davis oh no i know we gotta get him on the show

that daft boozer but he's so hot and his instagram is amazing chelsea what no he has an instagram yeah what's on it um lots of like sure turn it turn it chelsea lots of like shirtless selfies and he does peace signs oh my god well i've already written a song about him i'll have to add that into it you've written a song about yeah this what's his name again falling to cheshire davis you've written a song about yes this next song about it is about what it's like to get stabbed in the back hit it i got bit by the bug of love it laid an egg inside my heart i went to the doctor to see him he said my stomach was full of love eggs the doctor prescribed me 100 kisses after that he said the eggs would hatch so he kissed my stomach 200 times and then the eggs did they're

hatching dead now my stomach is full of bugs and my heart is full of love this is an accurate metaphor for how all people fall in love love eggs love eggs coursing through my veins love eggs love eggs they're eating up my brain love eggs love eggs i can't get enough love eggs love eggs they're hatching in my gut thank you thank you wow oh this doctor needs to be out it needs to be looked at definitely well the love eggs represent farthington cheshire davis got it and the love bugs represent when those eggs hatch was the doctor represents my my he's you got a look of terror on your face you know i haven't really thought of that the lyric just kind of came out i'm trying to figure out where you would put in the instagram stories lyrics yeah well we'll have to do some

type of yeah maybe you could edit a little bit like maybe update on his shirtless selfie farthington it's pretty good-looking guy charismatic to all his insta stories are so funny yeah damn it he's funny yeah man what does he do insta stories are so fucking funny dude is he just like him going around his day or do they feel like they he's thought about no he's just going around his day oh i don't know what would be worse for you that seemed to crush you so they're just they're just off the cuff hilarious totally improv just playing around in his house hey he'll sit on his bed and tell a story and then it'll be like outside and it's just very like easy that daft booza what does that mean you've repeated that no no it's a daft i know is crazy or stupid and boozer

is someone who drinks a lot yeah okay yeah you sound like you're trying to convince yourself i'm trying to think of something else it sounds kind of like that you know he got an an endorsement like an alcohol sponsorship whoa that daft boozer not parrot bae yeah it is parrot bae sit farthington were you up for that i've been going after parrot bae for years i love parrot bae what is parrot bae is that a rum yeah it's like it tastes like sun lotion how do you know i love it but he's not even the worst member of my band oh the person who took your place is not the worst member of your band no the snake sebastian darlington winterton oh no who what did he play the drum machine or the synthesizer synthesizer yeah i recently walked

in on him having intercourse with my new wife francesca in our marital bed oh no is this why the band broke up yes oh my gosh your wife yes wife in your marital bed marital bed is that a separate bed you have uh yes from when we got married and then you switched beds day two of the marriage yes yeah what and it was the honeymoon bed it was a honeymoon bed for about six months yeah that's cool a lot of beds in your house a lot of ritual yeah well this sounds like a terrible guy surely you haven't written a song about i have what this next song is about what it's like to be betrayed by the same the same what it's about being betrayed at the same time by the best man at your wedding and the woman who told you i do i made a reservation at the restaurant of love

where they only have tables for two instead of taking my order the waiter gave me a kiss instead of food i ate perfume the love restaurant failed its recent health inspection because the kitchen is infested with rats i'm not talking love rats these are regular rats and they're biting all the customers and staff i got food poisoning at the love restaurant pretty sure it was caused by the rats i posted a one heart review on yelp.com slash love then the business owner contacted me privately he said why'd you give my restaurant a one heart review i said because it was full of rats he said this is a small business and this review could ruin me he cried over the phone and said he was trying his best thank you never gets to a chorus does it

that one is all new words it's all new the whole way through new words yeah that was my inspiration new words the whole way through meaning repeat a thing oh i see so words we've heard of but just yes not new so if you ever said if you ever said the in that you never said it again let me look may no okay wow you can go back and check it off they're all new right so most of that was a metaphor but you say the rats are real uh yes the restaurant represents my failed marriage and the rats uh like i said those are just regular those are regular rats so there were rats in your failed marriage yes what percent of weight is that what led to you breaking up well yeah you take inspiration from everywhere you know you pulled from all over chelsea what what

what percent of what you sing about is a metaphor versus concrete and real well it comes and goes that person that song there was one afternoon oh okay so that was all real so and the and the owner of the restaurant was your wife contacting you saying that you she's a small business i was writing a song and i was doing some yelp reviewing okay and it kind of bled into each other well that's cool that's like making real life yeah yeah yeah but that song is about my best friend having sex with my wife that's terrible yeah yeah um and it's been awful you know my my mind has been going to some really morbid places i can tell yeah yeah and last night i actually had um some thoughts of suicide no not suicide oh my god do you call it some emergency you say it's so cute i can't

tell whether this is a serious well i was about to commit suicide uh by taking a bubble bath with my synthesizer and oh that's a i mean if it were plugged in yeah is it battery operated it is big batteries though car batteries a couple of car batteries car batteries which would electrocute they would have done me in for sure okay yeah um but at the last second i decided no no instead i need to channel my depression into a song into your arts that's great yes so this last song is called existence is emptiness depression sadness madness all aboard the train of love we're going full steam ahead chew chew the caboose is full of broken hearts and the conductor is a kiss train of love full of broken hearts i must steer us

straight to the train station of love there are train tickets and newspapers there but i'm always too heartbroken to read them it's the train it's the train the train of love i pull the levers so many levers the train of love i'm shoveling coal it's shaped like hearts on the train of love chew chew chew thank you wow that one i actually that was the best one i'd love to hear it sung by a different singer just to see like someone like the new singer in your band what they could do with some of those notes no no no it also if i might say is the most reminiscent of your previous work no that's a brand new song uh that i wrote on the way here and it's completely original it it seemed like you used the same abc sample that you did on all in your previous appearances

well i don't know i don't know i don't know i think we were all pulling from each other we'll never know yeah number five oh oh yes oh yeah baby now that's what i call comedy volume two oh wait we've already gotten into volume two incredible um so funny so good and uh one thing about those songs and um being funny being funny is that they are is that they are but they don't just will themselves into existence they actually are uh those songs the lyrics are written by a couple of comedy writers two guys hiding behind the scenes hiding not wanting any kind of a spotlight and i am going to have to drag them into the spotlight because i wanted to talk to these guys because because uh uh you know because we don't break the reality of uh characters existences

a lot you can't be there um you know they they deserve a little more credit than sometimes during in the middle of an episode we are allowed to give them but uh that's what we do on the best of so we wanted to have the guys who have written these songs as well as some of your other favorites on the show so uh let's talk to them now let's welcome brad evans and nixie aureli hi guys hey what's happening hi guys i also welcome you thanks for thank you and the welcome for help evanus you guys talk simultaneously and that's your whole shtick is that right yeah that's comedy duo we have to talk at the same time you saw this you saw the sclar brothers and you're like what have we just been up the whole process thanks for being on the show guys i wanted to

talk to you uh like i said um you know uh i i believe last year um these songs the martin schiffield lickley songs uh were voted on to be in the in the best ofs i can't remember where they placed but um and also uh uh uh the the mcdonald's cups god the donnie gary donnie gary you also do which uh we're we're a previous um in a previous best of and also we're on the comedy bang bang tv show uh drew appeared as donnie gary and did the mcdonald's cups guy and um he uh he's mentioned it on the show but i wanted to really just talk to you guys about it but and said that you guys have written it and uh you also are the writers of uh some other songs who may or may not be in the countdown we don't know uh the memphis oh exciting memphis kansas breed i mean they

haven't been so far so probably not in there yeah they didn't make the cut surprising but it's competitive so how uh describe how you wrote these songs how you got to know drew how you came to to write these things how did this come about um yeah we just we've been on a sketch team with drew we've been doing sketch shows together at ucb and around la for like five or six years where are you from i'm from orange county where i'm from uh i grew up in uh elisa viejo oh if you took a new york times uh 12 question survey would i be able to ascertain where you're from you know which one i'm talking about no we talked about it mere moments ago well also you just told yours from yeah that's true um but yeah it would probably come up santa anna okay yeah yeah okay and where are you

from uh pennsylvania and connecticut really and how did you get to know each other uh through through you to the comedy scene yeah we just submitted to write on a sketch team and they threw us together okay was that nephew yeah the team called nephew and uh so you were on this team with drew and you were writing stuff for him or yeah yeah he was an actor and we wrote stuff for him and then uh we all have a show together called atlantic city uh where we write stuff for him and mostly for ourselves these days but mm-hmm yeah carl tart does the show a bunch of it's a bunch of us mm-hmm we're all friends all friends yeah what a gripping tale yeah yeah we became friends and we glad to have you guys on the show yeah yeah but yeah martin cheffield likely we were just

watching video of this guy martin fry from abc yeah it was a real loose performance of uh the look of love and i saw him once at uh i believe the club is no longer there but it's on sunset it was billboard maybe or something and uh i saw abc and he was wearing a tuxedo jacket and then for the encore he sang the look of love he went off stage while the band still played came back out wearing a gold lamei tuxedo jacket wow did a costume change it was wonderful that's great i really enjoyed it yeah but yeah we were yeah we were just watching him and making fun of him me and nick were around our apartment yeah we were we were tearing him apart yeah absolutely by our savagely cutting into this uh musician who was popular before we were born

and um so uh you know a lot of times uh you know and and this happened to me certainly uh during my career you know when you're a writer for stuff you um you know you're the first one who came up with the idea but the performer gets a lot of the credit uh you know so i just really wanted to highlight uh the the the hard work that you guys have put in doing uh anytime i would talk to drew i would be like hey can you bring some new songs in and he'd go yep let me try to get those guys on the phone and you guys mouth full of chewing tobacco dripping all over himself this is patoon at the ready yeah um but he uh you guys were were uh very nice to oblige and write new songs for them and uh you know i mean obviously these songs sort of uh uh you know are popularized

on this show but i want to to let everyone know that you're the guys who do it and uh and thank you in person for for doing this oh yeah of course yeah thanks so much yeah thanks for having drew in folks get to do the songs on here yeah and you guys um recently you were in is it is it safe to say that you were in the news yeah is that same to say i mean it's very dangerous to say the real news and i'm not talking like entertainment news you guys were in the news news yeah we were yeah we accidentally wound up in national news a couple days ago uh and this was because of it why don't you just tell everyone um yeah we host this show atlantic city uh in la and we uh i heard about that yeah yeah we just mentioned it from early on the show you can listen back i reference it again

in case someone has like one of those uh things where they forget stuff well you need to hear something three times in advertising before it's solidified someone's right yeah tell everyone about the show that you guys do yeah there's one more plug on the way it's gonna show me and drew a car a bunch of people uh but yeah at the show we wanted to make fun of the the mayor Pete dance we thought the mayor Pete dance was bad Pete Buttigieg had a had a his campaign workers tried to put out a real dance or something yeah to the song they did yeah they put it out they put it out in a big way it's the song high hopes uh by panic at the disco but we were just like oh it would be fun if uh we just said like mayor uh michael bloomberg had his own dance so we made

for his presidential campaign yeah and so you filmed a dance at the ucb theater is that right yeah the ucb theater we just came out at our show we don't usually like film our audience we were just like guys bad news we have to film you guys you all have to learn a dance we're gonna teach you and some of them were excited some of them were sad uh and sad yeah i don't they weren't thrilled yeah and then uh yeah we taught them this dumb dance to uh the song moves like jagger from several years ago uh who did the choreography for this dance who i mean they did yeah we we you came up with all the moves yeah we've never choreographied anything before but we gave it a shot you don't even know what to call it yeah we're very used to that word bolsters your case yeah clearly needed

the scene yeah um so you so you you did this uh moves like bloomberg dance yeah and then put it out as if the campaign was putting it out and this became uh shared around the internet people thought it was serious and people thought that the bloomberg campaign had put it out yeah yeah a bunch uh a bunch of people thought it was real we we did we weren't trying to trick people that much like we didn't make fake twitter accounts yeah you just put it out as like a funny thing that you thought people would find funny and instead people took it seriously people took it seriously i mean we to be fair we did edit our twitter bios to be like we're campaign interns for bloomberg we put these pictures of us as like teens in like suits but if you were to scroll through your feed you would see

yeah you scroll two inches down it's like come to my comedy show tonight like that is at the venue that the video was posted at the same time as but normally people just see a video and they just share the video and that's it and go look at this stupid video yeah and so people it got shared so much and and uh derided so much that the bloomberg campaign had to put out a statement saying that you did not work there yeah the next morning yeah a bunch of people said sebastian gorka shared it in a bunch of uh but he was also just like uh apparent like this is not a parody like yeah he shared it saying it was real which was he yeah he stood behind it was saying like this is real this is real everyone should look at this all these nazis were looking at it um so then so then um the bloomberg

campaign said uh these guys don't work there to which you responded is this how you tell me i'm getting fired yeah and then kept it going for a little while longer yeah yeah we kept it going for a few days longer just like they had fired nick over twitter and then i quit my job nick was an unpaid uh unpaid intern and i worked for them i worked for them for minimum wage and i quit my right quit my job uh in solidarity with and then just i mean as of press time uh as we're recording it was it today or was it the day before like they finally came out and said comedians did this um yeah we finally admitted admitted it yeah you admitted it and that became i think the news the news broke it pretty quick someone at someone one of the other acts on our show confirmed to

buzzfeed that it was filmed at our show and the comedians did it what it was uh it was uh z-way femuda i don't know yeah she came from new york yeah but um she cracked under the pressure i know everyone's hounding the acts at our shows was this a comedy show yeah so you guys put out videos and stuff i've seen uh the uh restaurant review video and uh so so and and where can you guys be found on twitter um i'm at bradford evans i'm at nixirelli and uh really funny guys and uh you know make sure to follow them and and and what are you guys up to anything you want to uh plug i know i from what i understand you have a show uh it's called a lantic city it's usually interesting oh yeah i mentioned before it's called a lantic city um yeah we show at lantic city we do it

in la at the ucb theater on the second thursday every month uh we're doing at san francisco sketch fest on uh january 23rd great and you also uh there's there on your twitter's i know there is a like a compilation of all your videos as well that people can look at yeah if you go to our twitter's there's a thread of all our videos that's our pinned uh pinned tweets all right well guys i really want to thank you for coming on and again um if you like the uh martin sheffield lickley or the donnie gary or the mephys kansas breeze uh you guys are a big part of that so uh thanks so much for being a big part of the show this year yeah we appreciate it thank you all right and now you must go right okay get the fuck out your time is done retreat into the shadows

back back well um speaking of the shadows and time being done uh our time is done and to be shadow to be shadow stevens father of by the way an actress in 21 jumpstreet amber stevens i don't have you know that i can't i've seen that movie and i can't picture her uh she also was in a draught car michael show she played his wife or girlfriend i can't really i never saw that show okay i've run out of credits for her well but does she have to be in one of your movies for you to see her in something she wasn't in jack frost what if she was a jack child right she would have been like four years old probably or jack frost um was she also in who's in i it makes me realize that i i only oh yeah amber stevens i've met her you've met her in what i met her we played we

did a charity event together oh which charity uh satan it was for the church of satan uh no i'm all kidding aside it was for the westboro baptist church um okay all right i know you're kidding about that but what was it like to have fun but it was actually what was for the westboro uh i can't remember which what the organization was but josh melina and it organized it i hosted a uh a night of celebrities playing the game celebrity and she was one of the celebrities and we're and i messed up her name when i introduced her what did you call it and she never said anything about it oh i don't remember but i i think i i think i called her amber west some other last name okay oh amber west north by northwest yeah i think i called her amber west

the wild west like when deadwood was set the magnificent eight and then i realized like oh no that's not it well uh she was amber stevens west and now is amber dawn west is that right no no no she's her stage name is amber stevens west okay because she got married to a guy named stevens or something or maybe a guy named or no no no shadow stevens this is what i was gonna say who's this west that's the guy she she married adam west she married adam west right before he died right before he died and then he died and then she married a cowboy from the old west anyway you matter i've referenced her this is good podcasting all right we have to uh get out of here but we're gonna be back on thursday

and look i know that every time we do these best of part one is the most listened to for some reason you would think part four would be because those are the those are the best episodes maybe part one represents the least listened to episodes so people are catching up maybe but i feel like they're just exhausted by the end of part one they don't or it's a lot of first timers who were like uh uh not gonna do it but um coming up on thursday we have the top four episodes of comedy bang bang for 2019 and that is i mean that's incredible it's very exciting uh these are these are voted on by you so uh and and you look maybe some of you have some idea of of what they are but you will never guess what order they're in unless you do that's right

so you better tune in and you better guess and if you do you better be right it's gotta have a question for you maybe it's just too early in the game what i thought i'd ask you once again what are you doing new years new years um i can't tell you i'll tell you off mike but that's happening tomorrow do you have a happy new year everyone be safe have a happy new year i want everyone to hear these top four four episodes how terrible would it be if you weren't safe you weren't safe and you never got to hear never got to hear hopefully you've seen star wars you saw adventures in game adventures in game conclusions of the both of those sagas but you gotta hear the top four episodes all right we'll

see you on thursday thanks bye