Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Chuck Bryant, Bobby Moynihan, Holly Laurent

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

Podcaster extraordinaire Chuck Bryant of the Stuff You Should Know podcast joins Scott to talk about going into the 17th year of Stuff You Should Know, ants, and the Seven Wonders of the World. Then, masked vigilante The Batmin returns to talk about criminals he has recently put away. Plus, spiritualist Luanne Lewis stops by to talk about seeking vortexes.Get tickets for the Comedy Bang! Bang! Into Your Mouth Tour 2024 over at https://CBBWorld.com/tour Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

I call my duvet my two-vh because I have two duvets. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Jimmy Big Jim Kavanagh. Kavanagh. Kavanagh. Kavanagh. Jimmy Big Jim Kavanagh for that maybe Kavanagh but there's no U after the A so I'm gonna say Kavanagh. For that catchphrase submission I call my duvet my two-veh because I have two duvets. A little too

hard to say. The degree of difficulty too high for this old tongue. I'm afraid the hunt continues for a new catchphrase. We'll get there. We will get there. Maybe on the thousandth episode. Will I get there? Who knows? Fate will decide. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have an exceptional show coming up. We have a spiritualist.

That'll be a lot of fun talking to them about matters of the astral plane, perhaps, the auras, who knows. But before we get to them, we need to get to our first guest. Now this is a true treat to have this gentleman on. It's his first time on Comedy Bang Bang Proper. He is podcast royalty, as they say, he would be, uh, he might be sharing a space, sure, but he'd be on the, uh, Mount Podmore they talk about, I'm sure. Um, you'd probably be, you'd, you'd co-opt, I feel like they should have done that with

presidents where they made like Abe Lincoln and Washington share one space. You know what I mean? On a carving? On the actual Mount Rushmore or on Mount Podmore. Well, what if they started a podcast together? That'd be great. You got two guys who, by the way, both of their branding was that they wouldn't lie.

You got like George Washington who like, you know, chopped down the whole cherry tree and lied about it and all that. And then after that, never told a lie. And then didn't Abe Lincoln, he was honest Abe. It's like, guys, let's get something new here. You know what I mean? I wonder if those guys were like, you know, what we need to do is get on money.

The money podcast. Yes. Let's get on money and make some money. Um, he'll be on Mount Podmore certainly where, uh, Conan O'Brien shall live, uh, as well as, uh, that killer from cereal. I'm sure he'll be shall live as well as that killer from serial. I'm sure he'll be on it as well. You'll be right next to him. I'm sure.

Boy, this sounds great. His podcast Stuff You Should Know has been around now for 16 years. It's in 16th or now you're on your 17th, I believe. Is that right? 2008, like spring of 2008, it's in 16th? Or now you're on your 17th, I believe. Is that right? 2008, like spring of 2008, it launched and I launched about the seventh episode in. You were, oh, you weren't on the first six?

No. What happened there? They were rotating some people, it was a work assignment and they were rotating some people in with Josh Clark, my co-host, and they rotated me in, just the next guy in the next cubicle. Really? And, uh, we had some pretty good chemistry and he said, I'd like it if Chuck just remained as the sole co-host.

Okay. Interesting. See, this is why people listen to comedy bang bangers for the behind the scenes stories about fellow podcasters. Let me introduce you though, stuff you should know. Now going into its 17th year Please welcome to the show for the first time joining the exclusive one timers club Chuck Bryant. Hi Chuck We have a jacket for you I have everything for oh wow, that's great

And you have to give it back if you ever come back on the show. Not a problem When Scott you entered I came to your live show in Atlanta recently. Yes, you've come to at least the last two by my count. That's right. Yeah, we have a nice tradition now where I bring everyone barbecue backstage beforehand. That's right. It's wonderful. We get nice and full and sleepy before we go out on stage. How about some sticky ribs? And I, by the way, you could take care of your backstage guests a little better by having their tickets in the backstage room, because that's why I missed the beginning of your show. I had to go back out and get my ticket.

It's fine. If you, uh, I don't want to mess with all of that. That's, uh, above my pay grade or below it. I'm not quite sure, but, uh, I, if you listen to the Atlanta show, I do point you out as being late to your seat. Yeah. Cause I was coming down the aisle and you said, podcast royalty, everyone walking down the aisle and nobody knew who I was.

No one knew who you were, even though you're a local. I know. Coming down the aisle, much like when you get married, you come down the aisle. That's right. You're a married man, aren't you? I am. How's married bliss these days?

Oh, married bliss is good. I got in trouble earlier today, but that's okay What happens? No, I don't want to talk about that. Come on We heard the behind the scenes of how you weren't on the first six episodes of stuff You should know and now I want to hear about your marriage. Tell us about your fight today No, I'm in LA from Atlanta. So I don't know it may have had something to do with just being out here and having fun seeing friends Yeah, that's the thing is you know, they don't like it when we have fun and I don't know, it may have had something to do with just being out here and having fun, seeing friends.

Yeah, that's the thing is, you know, they don't like it when we have fun and they don't. Right. We, they. We, they. Men are from vacations and women are stay at homes. I don't know. Of course.

That's the book. My wife gets to do whatever she wants and I fully support her, but apparently your marriage isn't like that. Now tell me about stuff you should know. Are you now relegated, you've done so many episodes. You're in your 17th episode. Are you now relegated to things that people invent?

Like, are you out of stuff now? So you're just sitting there waiting by Inventions Weekly going like, oh no, they invented something. Okay, we can put out a new episode. No, largely because it's not just a show about inventions, as you know. But no, that's kind of the fun thing about the show is it's not history only or science or- But that's the thing. You've talked about everything that's already happened.

So now you're waiting for new things to happen, new inventions, new, you know, like new things that people should know about because you have so many episodes. This is my point, Jack. Scott, I could probably look around your studio and think of two stuff you should know episodes. Really? Okay. What do we got?

Well, if I'm not mistaken, I think I see a couple of Emmy awards. Well, sure. I don't like to brag, but they're sitting right here in your eye view. So we've never done a show on Emmy Awards. I see some action figures. What would you do about Emmy Awards? Well, you know, we talk about the history of the Emmys, notable wins and losses. Yeah, Wyatt's the most dangerous award. Those are very sharp wings. Yeah, it is a dangerous award.

If there's an earthquake during an episode, which, by the way, there was on Freedom recently. We were in the middle of an earthquake in the middle of an episode. Really? Yeah, and we had to take stock of how we felt. Uh-huh. To the break and everything. Yeah, yeah.

But if there was a more severe one, that would come right down on the top of Lorne Lapkus' head. Well, we don't want that. So I'm glad that didn't happen. But I see some action figures. Do you want an action figures? Really? So you haven't done an action figure episode?

No. What, why not? What's, what's holding you back here? Well, there's a lot of stuff in the world. And you just sit around there, like looking like you, you enter a room and you much like how James Bond in the Daniel Craig James Bond's enters a room and looks at the fire extinguishers because he knows if he has to get away, he's going to shoot one. And it'll go everywhere. And he'll run out of the room happens every single Daniel Craig James Bond movie, by the way.

Um, do you walk into a room and you look at stuff and go, Oh, what haven't we done an episode about? Sort of. Uh, but we also get a lot of, uh, listener requests that I'm relying on more and more these days, you know, really. So they request like something they don't know about, or they, they know all about it and they want everyone else to know about it or? A little bit of both. Today, swatches. Hey guys, you should do one on swatches and perfect. That's great. That'll be a good episode. Isn't, isn't swatch, okay, swatch was the watch, obviously, that you could like put around your wrist and people had six of them on at a time or something like this? Yeah, they were cheap and popular. But did they

not also make cars? Did they? I believe the little tiny car, the smart car or whatever it is, was a swatch thing. I may be very very stupid right now for saying this. I think you're thinking about the Ugo. I don't know. No, it wasn't. I didn't know that. Did Swatch make smart cars comes up? Development of what ultimately became the smart four two started before 1993. Wow.

Originally as the Swatch car developed by Nicholas Hayek in cooperation with Volkswagen. Look at that. There's an episode. So you could just cut out what I just said and put it in an episode, right? I could, but what we'll do instead, I'll now have to reference you. Oh, great. That would be great. Yeah. Yeah, that would be fine. I'd love to be referenced in an episode of Stuff You Should Know. I've referenced you before. Have you? What have you said about me?

Uh, well, I mean, I know I plugged my appearance on, um, Scott Hasn't Seen. Yes, we did Deliverance. Yeah course, the rural horror film or rural thriller. Sure. Which I kind of regret picking now. So I do want to. Why do you regret picking? Well, we enjoyed it. It was fun, but I think I'd like, if I was on again, I would like to do something a little more upbeat than, you know, Forest Sodomy.

Forest Sodomy. Yeah. That's the original title of Forest Gump, wasn't it? to do something a little more upbeat than, you know, forest sodomy. Forest sodomy. Yeah. That's what the original title of forest gump, wasn't it? I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure you never know what you're going to get. Um, look, you know, the guy was a strange guy for his company, you know, the stuff he was into, he liked to run all around as well. Yeah.

They kept that in the movie. What, what old black and white footage would they have inserted him in for forestotomy? Yeah, really just Nixon going at him. Right. Oh boy. Um, you still have more gas in the tank. You still have more episodes you can do.

You still, there's, there's a million things out there like, uh, I don't know, bugs or stuff like that. We've done a lot of specific bugs. Yeah. Here's a question. Okay. So I just saw know, bugs or stuff like that. We've done a lot of specific bugs. Yeah. Here's a question. Okay. So I just saw some ants on my wall. Okay.

I know what you're saying. I've heard of pants on the ground, pants on the wall, you know, pants on the ground from American Idol, one guy who's saying that. Wait, is that a song? Pants on the ground, pants on the ground. It was, it was an older gentleman who was upset that everyone's pants were too low. Oh, sure.

And he's saying a song about it. Was it Bill Cosby? It may as well have been. Yeah. Um, but, uh, I saw some ants on my wall and I, of course, and I, I, I'm not hesitant to talk about this and PETA come at me. Right.

You'll kill an ant. I killed their ass because I want them to know that there is nothing but death for you here. So do they transmit that back to other ants of like, whoa, looks like we're all dying. Don't come around here because I know that they can transmit to ants like, hey, I found some food here. Yeah, yeah.

I think so because we of course did an ant episode many years ago. And I- Did you talk about the Woody Allen film as well? Well, I talked about your participation in it. Didn't you do like rewrites or something on that? I did not. Please don't tar me with that brush.

You're talking about Shark Tale of course. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Shark Tale. Sorry. I didn't put words in Woody Allen's mouth. Ew. Can you understand the words coming out of Woody Allen's mouth? That's understand the words coming out of Woody Allen's mouth? That's another meme from a long ago.

Um, but, uh, so, so yeah, can they, if I killed it's, it's a good thing. I'm killing them, right? Well, I think so. Cause I think that the first, you know, you kill all that you see. Sure. You don't kill. Sometimes I kill ones I can't see. Right.

But point is you don't kill the first two or three and rely on guy number three to relay the message. You just want to wipe them out. Wipe them all out. And then they'll say like, oh, this place is bad news. Right? I think so. Yeah. I know they're looking for water during the summer. Yeah, sure. Do I have some empathy? Yeah. Regarding these ants? Yes. But we don't want, you know. That's your water. The studio. That's my water. I paid for it. I pay my water bill every month. Do you? Well, I have people who do it. So there's a million things out there in the world. It's an incredible world filled with wonders. Have you done all the seven wonders of the world? God damn it, we did.

Two parter. Only a two parter to a seven parter. Ancient wonders of the world. I don't know if weter to a seven parter. Ancient wonders of the world. I don't know if we split it up. It's. What are the ancient wonders of the world? Can you list them? No.

Okay. So they're let, let's do them by memory. Okay. There's gotta be one pyramid in there. Right. And I think the pyramids are in there. Maybe a Sphinx. Well, I think they're all part of the same category.

I think the, the hanging gardens of Babylon, maybe, but I might get be getting this. Let's look them up. Here we go. All right. What's the Machu Picchu maybe? This was a long time ago. And these are the new Seven Wonders of the World. Wow. Oh, what are the old ones? Amazing. I guess Eden. Sure. The Tower of Babel. Yeah. Okay. So the Great Wall of China. I, yeah, that's a, that's a good one. That also got a standalone episode. Okay, I mean, that's pretty, you know what I mean? If you can see something from space. Chicken Eatsa, is that how you pronounce it?

Yes. Chicken Eatsa. That does not ring a bell. Petra, of course we're not talking about the Christian rock band. Oh, I knew I was gonna say it if you didn't. Machu Picchu. Christ the Redeemer, speaking of Christian Rock, the original JC himself.

Striper, is that on there? Striper is here. Yeah. The Colosseum. Oh, I've seen that one. Yeah, me too. I mean, it's fine. The Taj Mahal.

Great. I love it. Of course. That's about it. Oh, so wait, so the S Yeah, me too. I mean, it's fine. The Taj Mahal. Great. I love it. Of course. That's about it. Oh, so wait, so the Sphinx isn't on here? That may be the ancient wonders. The Sphinx gets points, I think, for just the face. You know what I mean?

Like these other things don't have a face on. The Great Wall is gray, but put a face on it. You ever been to the pyramids? I have not. I'd love to go to you. I'd love to go to you with the pyramids. Are you saying you want to go to the pyramids? I have not. I'd love to go to you. I'd love to go to you with the pyramids. Are you saying you want to go to the pyramids with me? No, I want to go to you with the pyramids.

Okay. Listen to what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that. Uh, the fun thing about the pyramids is you always see the, the, the view looking at the pyramids and you don't realize there's a Pizza Hut behind you. There's a Pizza Hut behind you, really?

And a KFC, if you look at an aerial view, you see the pyramids. And how close they actually are to it. Yeah, it's remarkable. I just turn around and look at the Pizza Hut. Yeah, look that up. Look up Pizza Hut? Yeah, sure.

You wanna have your mic? PizzaHut.com In that order of pizza. PizzaHut.com, let's see what kind of deals they have going on here. Yeah, you want to have your mind. PizzaHut.com. In that order of PizzaHut.com. Let's see what kind of deals they have going on here. Let's see. The Big New Yorker, six XL foldable slices starting at $13.99.

This is how they get used to starting at. Oh, okay. How high are we going? You want sauce? Yeah, exactly. Oh, we're going up to $118. Yeah. Get the fuck out.

Sorry. Oh, boy. Did I trigger something on my? Did I trigger something on my? I don't think you did. Psh. Psh. Oh.

Music stops. Hey. Hey. Hello. Oh, my gosh. Sorry, Chuck. What's happening right now? Did somebody say chicken pizza?

I said chicken pizza, I believe. Shit. Oh, wrong cue again. Uh, hey! I thought somebody said chicken. I thought somebody said chicken pizza. No, hey, sorry Chuck. I love chicken pizza. Uh, sorry, this is, uh, the Batman.

Who, me? Yeah, you, you know, you, yeah. I wasn't sure if you were talking to me or not. Well, I'm talking about you. I'm referencing you. Thank you. It's always good. It's not a compliment. Well, I disagree. I guess any PR is good PR. That's what the Beatles said. Wow. Hey, Batman. Great to see you. Who me? Yeah, you. Yeah. What are you doing? You weren't looking directly at me, so I wasn't positive. Hey, man. How are you, big fan? Yeah, this. Yeah. What are you doing here? You weren't looking directly at me, so I wasn't... Positive. Hey, man, how are you, big fan?

Yeah, this is Chuck Bryant from Stuff You Should Know. Have you done an episode on this guy? Uh, oh boy, I don't even want to say it out loud, but we've talked about Superman, but not Batman. What? No, that's cool. That's cool. I get it. Not like it happens every day in my goddamn life. This is embarrassing for you. I'm so sorry. It is. Thanks for pointing it out. Thanks for saying it.

Have you done one on the Joker? Uh, no. Isn't it strange that, uh... If you had, I would have murdered myself. Two actors have won Academy Awards for playing the Joker. Yeah. And none for Batman. Isn't that strange?

Not even clearly. Yep. Thanks for turning off my music. It just seems less, uh... It doesn't seem as cool anymore. Yeah, sorry to mention that. You could do one if you want, sorry. Yeah, I mean, he's right here. You could ask him questions and stuff, you know.

Sure, I mean, I know your backstory, but we don't talk about the trauma of that. You suffer from PTSD. Wait, what backstory are we talking about? Because all I know about you is- Okay, so you're just gonna say it in front of me. Yeah, you're just going to make me bring it up again. All I know about you is you, you live in Gotham City, this place where there's-

Maybe. An incredible billionaire philanthropist, Bruce Wayne. I'm not super familiar. You're not really into like politics. I don't, it, all the whole Hollywe weird scene doesn't really, it's not my thing. Those are the two things I know about you is you live in Gotham. Oh, good. Anywhere that guy lives.

No, I might live in Gotham. You're assuming. Oh, do you commute to work? I have a Batmobile and I do drive it. So are you in the suburbs or what, what actually. I don't want to give my exact location away. Your assassination coordinates. Correct.

I'd rather stay alive to fight crime I don't want to give away where exactly I live there was one time where you told everybody you just immediately said I lived on one two three bad ministry yeah well wait oh no did I say that was was just me guessing. Look, if people can follow Elon Musk and Taylor Swift's planes around, how come we can't follow the Batplane around? I never thought of it that way. Because I don't wanna be like Elon Musk

and say you can't. Yeah, if the Joker figures out how to use a computer, any of those weirdos. The computer doesn't seem like the Joker style, right? No, it would be green and green and purple computer. He's more of the flower on the lapel. He has basic acid. Your basic like Catskill comic.

Yeah. Trick. He's a basic bitch. The Joker is the most basic bitch and I'm not afraid to say it. Yeah. Why would you not afraid to say it. Yeah. Why would you be afraid to say you're the one who beats him? Yeah. You, you, you, you beat him all the time.

Yeah. There's been, there, there hasn't been a time where the joker got away. Oh no, there was that one Christmas. That one Christmas. When the Batmobile lost its way. Yeah. Yeah. Robin laid an egg.

It smelled terrible. Yeah. Wait a minute. Wayne Manor is on my Google maps right now. Oh, it is. It's totally available information. That's fine. That's not my house.

So it doesn't matter. I don't know who Wayne is. Is that from Wayne's world? Are you talking about David Wayne or yeah, Wayne's world? Yeah, David Wayne. You can go by and watch them playing music in the garage. Um, I, uh, yeah, no one knows where you live. You go out there at night

and why don't people start committing crimes during the day? You know what I mean? I wouldn't publicize that because they could totally get away with it because I won't be there. That's when all the banks are open and stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm usually very sleeping.

I'm usually asleep. That's night-night time for Batman. Yeah. Yeah. So you're nocturnal, that's interesting. That'd be a good stuff you should know. Yeah, nocturnal. I mean, there's probably a good episode in like people who have to work the graveyard shift, right?

Yeah, I did that in college for a little while. Yeah, and your sleep schedule gets affected and your whole circadian rhythms get affected. Yeah. Who do you think has state awake the longest ever ever okay tell you what i'll look it up you guys take bets i'll bet you eight trillion gotham dollars okay okay i'm in great what's your guess my guess is what was the the question? What's the longest someone has stayed awake? Oh, I'm gonna say... a week and one day.

So you're talking... Eight days. How many days is that? Yes, I'm sorry. You spoiled the fun. Sorry. The Ringo Starr special. Eight days. Week seven plus one is... eight.

Eight. Okay, eight days from Batman. Chuck, what do you want to guess? Oh, is this a Price is Right thing or what? No, no Price is Right rules, just whoever's closer. Okay. I'm going to say- But this is a Price is Right thing.

I'm going to say 37 days. 37 days. Sure. Probably not right. I will tell you the answer is coming up after the break. That's right. That's how you do a podcast. That's how you do a podcast.

I'm going to leave and get chicken pizza. Does anybody want any? Cause ever since you said it. Sounds really like a barbecue chicken pizza, maybe? No, what I do is just, it's a flat chicken pie yard in a triangle with sauce and cheese on it. So how does everyone get an equal amount of the chicken? Because if it's in a triangle with sauce and cheese on it. How does, so how does everyone get an equal amount of the chicken?

Because if it's in a triangle. I don't give a fuck. Do you do a triangle pizza? Yeah. Whoa. That's a thing. Pizza should be other shapes. Triangle pizza was my first improv team.

They had the square ones. No idea that you were going to be, of course. Yeah, they have squares, but what about octagons? That'd be great. All right. The answer is coming up after the break. We're gonna figure out who, don't Google it, but we're gonna figure out how long is the longest

that anyone has ever stayed awake, at least in written history. I'm sure some cavemen were scared of dinosaurs out there and like, oh, God, I gotta stay awake or he's gonna eat me. They may have been scared of sleep. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, if I go to sleep even once. Right, they had no idea what that was.

Yeah, but we're gonna come right back after the break with that exciting answer. We'll have more from Chuck Bryant. We'll have more from the Batman. We also have a spiritualist coming up. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, back. And we have, of course, Chuck Bryant's Stuff You Should Know podcast. It's out there. Is it a weekly show?

Is it bi-weekly? Is it bi-annually? Is it annually? Is it once every 18 years? What are we talking? Two episodes a week plus a shorty, short stuff on Wednesday. Little 12 minute. A little short stick.

Yeah. How long are the longies? We try to keep it around 45 minutes without the ad. So an hour and a half total. Ah, podcasting. And of course we have the Batman here. Who, me? Yes, you.

Also a podcaster. Fellow podcaster. We have three podcasters here. You have the Batman here. Who? Me? Yes, you. Also a podcaster. Correct. Fellow podcaster. We have three podcasters here. You have your own show. Pretty much every room in America has three podcasters in it now. That's true.

That's true. Who Me is your podcast. Who Me? Yes, you. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's the name of it. And- Don't know why.

Don't know why, yeah. But before the break, I will say that I teased something, and that was the answer to an exciting question. Now, how much was the bet, by the way? It was- I believe it was six trillion Gotham dollars somewhere around there.

Okay, so GDP? Yep. I don't know the conversion, so. Okay, yeah. It's exactly the same. Okay. It's one to one? Yeah, apparently. Yeah. Wow. Just filthier.

Um. Physically, like physically dirt, the paper's dirty. Now, Batman, your guess was eight days for the longest anyone has ever stayed awake. Well, no, it was one week and one day. One week and one day. So you think would they have had to have started on a calendar week exactly, like midnight on Sunday? Yes. I don't know how to calculate whether you're closer now. have started on a calendar week exactly like midnight on Sunday? Yes.

I don't know how to calculate whether you're closer now. Your guess was eight days. Chuck, you were 37, was it? Sure. Yeah. I will tell you that Randy Gardner holds the record for staying awake the longest. At 11 days and 24 minutes. Wow. Nice job, Batman. You were closer.

Yeah. No one was closer than Randy himself. That's true. Although he probably lost count once he fell asleep. Never in my wildest dream did I think the person's name would be Randy Gardner. Yeah. What'd you think it was gonna be?

Because I just like some dude did it. Would you hire a Randy Gardner? No, I feel like it would have been like Klaus von Sleep. Some German guy who just gets off on not every night. We must find out. Yeah. No, it was Randy Gardner. Turns out it was Randy who did it. Why'd he, was he after a record or what was the deal?

It broke the previous record of 260 hours held by Tom Rounds. What a dick. Yeah. Fucking guy. And this is in 1964, by the way. Oh wait. Hey, Tom Rounds, if you're out there, go fuck yourself. It's also, by the way, not just 1964, this is in December of 63 to January of 64.

He's doing this through New Year's Eve. Wow. Okay. So, and here's the other thing is why is this not happening since then? You know what I mean? Like this is, by the way, this is a sleep deprivation experiment. I may know because recently we did a episode on the Guinness records and they stopped doing-

You gotta talk to Fred Guinness about that. They stopped, or Randy Gardner, they stopped doing certain records that were dangerous to people. Detrimental to health. Interesting. Like a lot of eating things. I don't know about how many bullets can you eat? Yeah, exactly.

Which was also Tom rounds. Weirdly. That's why they call them bullet rounds. That's right. Um, wait, Gardner's record was then broken multiple times until 1997 when the Guinness world records seized accepting new attempts for safety reasons. Yeah. At that point, the record was held by Robert McDonald at 18 days and 21 hours.

Well, why the fuck isn't he have the record? His time doesn't get erased. If someone else just like says, I did it shorter. Do you like that? It's like, if I do it for tonight, do I win? Yeah. Very strange. Why are they saying this Randy Gardner guy gets it?

It's Robert McDonald. Come on. Give the Robert his due. Ronald's brother? Ronald's, uh, yeah. Robert, Robert McDonald, terrible restaurateur. Absolutely. All the janitors are just like sleeping,

leaning on their pops. Triangular pizza. It's the opposite of fast food. It's wait, what's the opposite of food? It's the opposite of fast food. It's slow. No, no, what's the opposite of food? Slow, inedible.

What's the opposite of food? Slow metal. Wow. Fake food? You just broke like- No, no, what's the opposite of food? Fake food, I think. Slow fake food? Wow. Fake food? No, no, what's the opposite of food? Fake food, I think. Slow fake food?

Yeah. So you wait three hours and you get a plastic horn of plenty. Well, Batman, what's going on? What's happening with you? Do you need your theme music to start back up again when you tell me what's going on in your life? Now that you mention it, I do. I should take about 40 to 50 seconds.

Yeah. Why not eliminate some steps to get into your phone to start your music? I like to keep my code on so the choker can't get into my iPhone. What would you do if you got into your iPhone? Oh, I would get so mad. Do you have Robin in your pocket?

I would take out a batarang and I would flip it open. Whoa. Sorry, my music ended. That's all I would do. My music ended, so that's all I would do was take out a batarang, show it to him and then head it open. Whoa. Sorry, my music ended. You can't do face ID with a mask on. That's all I would do. My music ended, so that's all I would do, was take out a battery and show it to him and then head on home.

Interesting. So yeah, what's been happening with you, Joe? I almost called you Joker. That's shitty, because he's my nemeses. Not much, just brooding. You out there on the gargoyles these days? A lot of gargs. Uh, yeah. If you ever look up and you don't see me on top of building, that means no crime.

It means no crime. No crime. I'm just chilling. Yeah. No, wait, did I get that wrong? Yeah. If I ever look up, I did pay Odie this morning for the first time. Also, did I not bring that up?

Isn't that illegal? The scarecrow, uh, dropped off a Magnolia bakery for me this morning and it, but it didn't say from the scarecrow and said from Robin, so I ate the shit out of him. Turns out it was the scarecrow tricked me. Bunch of peyote inside those donuts. Oh, muffins and cookies. So now- So you're just like, uh, being scared by your own shadow at this point.

Your, your shadow is admittedly very scary. I've, I have done my share of drugs. I've been drugged many, by many a villain. So I'm sure the Joker has laughing gas. But child's play for me. Yeah. Your face is melting and I can see your nightmares. This is not child's play.

Not a biggie, really. Who have you put away recently? Any good criminals? Yeah. Did you get Bernie Madoff? I got Bernie Mades, Joe Biden, got him out of the presidency. Oh, that's right. There's the body double.

That was me. Yep, yep, yep, yep. That wasn't him the whole time. Yeah. That was me. Did I ever talk about my political beliefs? I don't think so, and I'm not sure that I want to hear. How long do we have?

You're a billionaire who likes to arrest- I am not. You assume I am. Because I have a nice belt with smoke pellets in it. All right. Jeez. But yeah, what other criminal? Did you get that? Who's that?

Sam Friedman? Is it Sam Banks or whatever? Did you arrest him? Yep. That was me. Martin Scrooge? Martin Scrooley. Martin Scrooley. I just today, I believe I just made him return all the Wu-Tang album.

Did you? Oh, thank God. Yeah. I actually read that today. He has to return them all. Yeah. I'm very happy because I can't wait to hear Wu-Tang forever. That's gotta be the best Wu-Tang album.

Right? It's gonna be. Yeah. It's not something they recorded and said like, Oh, this is really shitty. It's definitely not something they recorded one night when stoned and said, we should sell this for a million dollars. And then no one ever heard it

because it's probably insane. You know why he had to return him? He was gotten a Twitter fight with someone and said, LOL, I still have the MP3s, moron. Oh, so now he has to return the actual MP3s. Oh, he broadcasts that he still has like copies of this. Is this from an episode? No, no, no. I just, it was just something you actually do know.

Batman was right. It was on the news today. So you have, you have your own thoughts outside the podcast. Occasionally. I can't say that I do, but. That's amazing. I haven't had one since I started. The peyote?

Correct. Right. amazing. I haven't had one since I started. The Beode? Correct. Right. Um, yeah, the, uh, the, the Screli guy, cool guy, right? Martin Screli? I mean, I wonder if he's a listener.

How many beers does he have? You know? Yeah. He definitely listens to comedy. He probably does. Yeah. He seems like the, the, uh, If a profiler were saying the average comedy bang bang listener, his picture would come up.

His picture would come up with a hat on. Yeah. It was like that. So Batman, what's in the works for you? Yeah, you. What's in the works for you coming up? You got any cool... Couple auditions.

You know what we were talking about the other day on this show with, you know, Hey Joe, Hayley Joel Osment? Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. He sees, uh, dead people. Yeah, we were talking about how, uh, the next Batman movie they make, Commissioner Gordon, you know, who has to be cast.

Gordon Sumner himself, Sting. Yeah. When you said Gordon Sumner, I thought Gordon Shumway, which is Alf's real name, or not his real name, his fake name. What? Alf, when Alf told, like when he would go, like when he would order a pizza. Right.

His name was Gordon Shumway. It might, wait a minute. I might even be wrong. His, his real alien name. No way. Gordon Shumway alien name, Gordon Shumway and Alph. Gordon Shumway. And go fuck yourself. Gordon Shumway also known as Alph is the protagonist title character. What a bull.

So he, no idea who Gordon Sumner is. Sting? Yes. So he's Sting Alph? We may be cracking the code right now. I heard that Alph could have sex for 27 hours. Almost as long as, I wish I could remember his name now, State Awake. Right, Charlie Gardner somebody.

Randy. Randy Gardner. We can remember that by a guy having an erection next to some tulips. This is the last podcast where Randy Gardner, Alf. Sting. And Sting will be mentioned at the same time. Yes. Um, so yeah, I mean, the holidays are coming up.

Correct. Yeah, that, yeah, the months are in sequential order and Halloween, and almost all of them have a holiday in them. If you celebrate the fiscal year with Christmas be at the end of that so like March I refuse to answer that question Well, look Chuck that yeah Batman here

Yeah, you should ask him anything you want to know because like you really should do an episode about him, you know I mean Superman. Yeah, you got Jerry Siegel and you ever done it Like would you have me on? And we could do it together. Have you ever had the person you're talking about on? Did you ever have the Great Wall of China on? No, we tried. They had podcast fatigue so they couldn't appear, but we don't have guests.

Just film it from space. It could be seen from space. Yeah, he's giving you the whole brush off about we don't have guests. We don't, but I, you know. You may make an exception. Yeah, no, it's cool. I mean, the dark night. Just so you know, if you see a puff of smoke and I appear, it's that's quite possible. Now bats don't appear in puffs of smoke unless they're vampire bats.

So why do you do that? I was going to say only time it happens is in old vampire movies. Yeah. So why do I do it? You're trying to fool people into thinking. You know why I do it? I'm gonna say, only time it happens is in old vampire movies. Yeah. So why do I do it? You're trying to fool people into thinking. You know why I do it? Cause I want the criminal to go home and be like,

he fucking threw something on the ground. It exploded. There was smoke. I was so confused. I was so scared from the smoke alone. I didn't even see a syphilis cause I was terrified from the smoke. Do you not, do you really not understand why you smoke?

By the way, the other thing that you do, and I want to see if we, you can pull it off right now. I guess it became the critique Batman hour. You do this thing where, with commissioner Gordon, Sting himself, where he'll like, you'll ask him a question. From the planet Melmac he is. You'll ask him a question and he'll like start pontificating and kind of look out the window grabbing his pipe. And then he turns around and you're gone, right? Wait, oh my God, it just happened to me. Oh wait, no, you're hiding in the corner over there.

Did you just, how did that feel? You see? I just turned my head slightly to the right and you were just hiding. This is a lot like when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. Yeah, well, no, I disagree. It's nothing like that.

He just moved the camera two feet. He moved the camera slightly to, yeah, two feet. He moved the camera two feet. America went, doee. It's nothing like that. He just moved the camera slightly to the camera, two feet. That's what you did. You just moved two feet. Exactly. Exactly. I just spoke in mirrors. Yeah. I'm a, I'm a flying magician. You are kind of a magician, aren't you? I'm so upset that I just figured that out. Are you trying to make people think that you're an actual bat? Or are people supposed to be like, oh, this is like a bat slash man hybrid or what? Confusion. Or at this point, your branding is so out there,

people are just like, oh, that's the superhero Batman. Confusion was always the goal, confusion and scary people. But now they're like, hey, now it's just a lot of cell phones out the second. Yeah, it's like, hey, do you mind if I take a selfie with you? No one's scared. They just want stuff. They want swag.

So my whole thing is, is once you get to that level, just change to something else. You know, I haven't. Whoa. Boy, when he gets low. So what else, what else? You could tell I'm serious when I remember to talk like me. Yeah. What else have you been Batman?

What else have I been in? Yes, Yeah. What else have you been Batman? What else have I been in? Yes, you. What else have I been in? I think I was in Space Jam 2. Yeah, well Robin was. Yeah, Robin. He was right there on half court. He was prominent.

The Burt Ward Robin was cut to a few, too many times for my liking. Yeah, they got those rights fast and they used them. No, but like you were a bat for so long, now no one's scared of that. Have you changed to some other frightening thing like Wolfman or? I did Wolfman for a while, but. Or Frankenstein?

I tried Frankenstein, I tried all the Hollywood monsters. The universal. I did Bride of. The whole dark universe. Everyone's favorite, the most lucrative franchise in the world. The dark universe. Ooh, look, it's the mummy. Tommy Cruz. Was he the mummy or he was running away from the mummy?

I think he was running away from a hot mummy. She was like a hot mummy. I think. Yeah, that rules. That's the way to do it. We're going to make the mummy. What's it going to be? It's Tom Cruise running as fast as he can towards a hot woman.

Not the Mission Impossible run with the extended fingers, because he can only do that in those folks. So he just ran like a human. Is that Arnold Schwarzenegger? Is that a thing? He can only do the fingers up in that kind of presuming? Yeah, ever do it. You should do an episode on Tommy Cruise. Yeah, well we had him on For real no

What what I was very offended you mentioned the Arnold Schwarzenegger thing, what is that? What do you mean? Are you talking about mr. Freeze? Arnold? I heard a story From someone who did a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is the Batman movie. Oh, that's right. Yes, we were in a movie together. That's right. No, it wasn't the movie Killing Gunther. I don't know what I was thinking of.

It was the Batman movie. Go ahead. Someone said that I may have been hiding on a gargoyle. And Arnold Schwarzenegger was like, so I'm here now. But if you want me to say, I'll be back. I can't, but I can do other catchphrases. I could do like Mr. Freeze jokes.

I could do this and that, but he's like, but they're all priced. And he had like a menu with price. Whoa. Wow. Yakety yak. He will sing Yakety yak from when he did it in twins. Yakety yak. Don't talk famous scene where he sang.

It was one. It was on the menu. I don't remember. What was it? And if you don't score the kitchen floor, like I remember hearing that it was either kindergarten, it wasn't in kindergarten cop. Cause I just't remember. What was it in? If you don't stop the kitchen floor. Like I remember hearing that it was either kindergarten. It wasn't in kindergarten cop. Cause I just saw that. So although it could have been in, I thought it was twins.

It was in some movies saying yakity yak. And that was, that was one of the choices. What are the prices that you can have him do? I don't remember the exact prices, but there were different. That's incredible. And this is in the movie or just in life in real life offer to be like, if you would like these service, much like you could add on, like, if you're having... Like, just a conversation with them or...

You're getting your car washed and you also want it, you know, like, you want it real clean under the underbelly. But I guess my question is... You could pay him to sing Yakety Yak under your car. Was he saying this to the filmmakers? Yes. You can put it into the dialogue? Yes. Why would anyone put him singing Yakety Yak into their own movie? The second he said it, we tried for days to figure out where to get him to sing. Yeah.

Not me. But try to make the money work. They seemed like they were working real hard to figure out a place for it. It's almost like he would bring it up years later on a podcast. Didn't have the budget for it. Wow. God, this rules. I got to figure out how to get him in a movie now because we're just talking baseline, he'll act in it.

I don't know if he was kidding, but it seemed too real. He also told us that he goes on unemployment in between every movie because that money is his. I actually have thought about that. You pay into it, so why? He says the day he finishes on the ride home, he starts unemployment. You pay into it in all your paychecks,

so you may as well take it out. Yeah, he told us to do that. Well, roughly. Um. You were just on a gargoyle at the time. I was sitting on a gargoyle listening. Now, would he say things like the opposite of I'll be back? Like, I won't be back?

Do you think when he leaves a room, he has to say that? We tricked it in the movie. We tricked him. He said, I won't be back. By the way, in case there's any confusion, he said, we got him to say, Oh, no, it is a tumor. This is, of course, the cancer film killing Gunther. Well, Batman. Me? Anything else happening?

Nope. It's back to school time. It is back, my kids are going back to school. I'm a seven year old, a one year old. That's right, yeah. Which one is Robin? He's the seven year old or? He's the seven year old,

depending on how he's act feeling today. Do you think Bert Ward? Bert Ward became Batman because he, because Robin is Batman's ward and they were like, this is just too good. I think that was what it was based on, it was all based on a pun, yeah. Yeah, wow. Or he changed his name after he was- It's a different time in the 60s.

Yeah, it was weird, wasn't it? I don't think you can say weird anymore. I don't think you're allowed to call it weird. Really? Yeah, all the instruments were plucked in the 60s. Yeah, I think that's right. I don't think you can say weird anymore. I don't think you're allowed to call it weird.

Really? Yeah. All the instruments were plucked in the 60s. It seemed like... Citars. Yeah. If there was something lying around, they would pluck it on a rock and roll song. Correct.

Because all the drugs, maybe. Yeah. Were you around during the 60s? Oh, sure. I had my own TV show. Yeah, that's right. You had that TV show. Yeah, yeah those little undies ran around? Yeah with Joker had a mustache that he painted over Yeah, did it fool you ever not once you could see it. You always knew is a mustache Yeah, yeah, you could see it through the you can see it

But it it's it really lends to the just burn it all burn the world down What do you think? I mean this this new Joker movie's coming out and it's a musical. Yeah. With Lady Gaga. Yeah, I've heard of Noah Batman in it, and I haven't. Yeah. Why don't you make a musical? You know what I mean? It's called Bat. Yes, you do.

I've been thinking about it. Yeah? Or at least star on Broadway in a musical that already exists. It's called Batman. It'll be in Oklahoma or something. It's called Batman. Turn down the dark. Turn down for what?

Turn down for what? I mean, the Spider-Man musical. Music and lyrics by the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne.

I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne.

I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne.

I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. I love the littlest Wayne. Can you stick around because we need to take a break, but we have a spiritualist coming up. Are you a religious fellow? I am, yeah.

I grew up Catholic and now I'm not anymore. You're a lapsed Catholic. Correct, yeah. Is that because your view of the world is... I went on Christmas until my parents were shot to death and then I slept. Right. Yeah.

So your parents were shot to death. Correct. In an alley, I was there. In Crime Alley? Yep. I mean, that's on you guys for going down crime alley a dumb move We were we were supposed to we almost went down happiness Street, right? But that's not where the car was yeah, no, no, no that we parked on crime alley Yeah, man, that's what rich white entitled idiots. Yeah Your dad is so rich just higher like like- I mean, you're assuming.

A higher security like we all have here in Hollywood, you know? Yeah. You know how all of our personal security guards have guns? You ever seen Bobby Moynihan's security guard? Yes, his whole detail- He's 30 feet tall. Was here recently, yeah, he's incredible.

All right, we have to take a break. When we come back, we have a spiritualist, and Batman, you can stick around. We'll see, we'll see. Yeah, hopefully no crimes will be committed before the end of the show. Yeah, I have the, I'm listening in on my earpiece and so far nothing.

So far nothing, oh, the police band? Everyone's being good, yeah. Oh really? Plus Rod got robbing out there on a motorcycle just towing around just in case. Really? You give him his own motorcycle I thought he was the sidecar I don't know what I was thinking yeah well it's just the sidecar

oh he's just tooling around in the side yeah he just revs the gas from the sidecar okay so he's not going anywhere no there's a little Batman dummy on the so he can trick the carpool in yeah all right we have to take a break Chuck Chuck, you can stick around, obviously. Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh wow, now you're talking like this. Was that me? Sorry.

You should change your show to was that me. I have another one coming. Well, it's me and his show. It's called, was that me? All right, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we have a spiritualist. We'll have more Batman, more Chuck Bryant. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

No, no, no, no. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah.! Comedy Bang Bang we're back! Uh, we have Chuck Bryant of course, uh, Stuff You Should Know, also known as F-uh, Y-uh, Stuff You Should-F-S-Y-S-K. Sysc. Do people call it Sysc? Uh, people call it Susc, which is weird. S-U-S-K, but you said F? What-what? No, S-Y-S-K. Yeah. S-U-S-K, but you said F. What? No, S-Y-S-K. Yeah. S-Y-S-K. Yeah.

CISC. I didn't say F. Okay. Other than F-U, Chuck. Whoa. We have Batman here as well. Yeah. I don't like this podcaster coming after a podcaster on a podcast kind of thing.

You know what I mean? Yeah. The world's going to collapse in on us. I don't go on your show mainly because you don't have guests as you've told me so many times. You came on my movie show when I had it. That's right, yes, I came on your movie show. We talked about the apartment.

Is that episode still available for people to listen to? I took it down. Why? No, it's all up there, of course. It's all up there, but why would you ever delete anything other than if you're Max and you wanna delete that Batgirl movie that you're in. What was that all about? That really stinks. The ACME movie. Yeah, the ACME movie. The Gendi Tartovsky movie fixed. Yeah, all these movies. But the one you're in. I heard Bobby

Moynihan was in that and he's not psyched about it. Oh, this is terrible. But that movie you're in, the back girl movie. Oh yeah, I was in that. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck it. Didn't you, you said it twice. I said it three times. All I thought about was Bobby Moynihan was in that. That's right. Yeah. Fuck it. Didn't you, you said it twice. I've said it three times. All I thought about was the movie fiction. I'm real, real, um, invested in his financial future. Plus the peyote. Yes, that too. I forgot. Reminder everyone, I am on peyote today. I forgot. Thank you, Chuck. Jesus.

Oh, I got your back. Yeah, thank you. Literally. You have my back right now. My large back and cape is coming out of yours. The cape was a bad idea. Sometimes when it rains, yes. Other than that, no. Soggy cape, my second improv team. But a soggy cape is the worst. Yeah. It's the worst. I mean, it's great for fooling people into thinking you're a bad.

You can't really, um, scare clay face when something damp hits your cheek and sticks to it. I think there shouldn't be any superhero super villain fights when it's raining. Everyone should just be like, Oh, it's raining. Everyone call it off. Cause like Joker's makeup will be streaking. Rain is the biggest villain in Gotham city. I'm realizing. Yeah.

Maybe he's melt Mr. Freeze. The penguin probably loves it. Maybe just move Gotham. So like the West coast, like to California or something. Batman in California sucks. Cause he would be in shorts. That would be interesting to do like a year

in the comic book of just Batman in LA. Are we gonna pitch something next week? Oh man, you and me. I pitch it and then go, and by the way, the real Batman is attached and you come in. And I don't know, I guess I say who me. All right, we have to get to our next guest. We have of course a spiritualist here.

It's time to get serious. We're gonna ask all sorts of questions about what's in the hereafter, I'm sure. And I mean, it's hard enough trying to figure out what's in the here and now, but we definitely are gonna ask these types of questions. Aren't we, Batman? Who me?

Yes, of course. Yes, we are. We are gonna ask these. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Luanne Lewis. So happy to be here, Scott. How happy to see you. Oh, yeah. Mrs. Chucky's from the Stuff You Should Know podcast, otherwise known as CISC.

Or suck. And we also have, Batman is over here in the corner. Hi, Matthew Mann, nice to meet you. Very nice to meet you, very nice. Very exciting, yeah. Exciting to have you on the show. Thank you so much. I feel blessed to be here. Wonderful. Blessed to meet you. Very nice. Very exciting. Yeah. Exciting to have you on the show. Thank you so much. I feel blessed to be here.

Wonderful. Blessed to be asked. You know, I, I would say I knew the invite was coming because I'm living by the law of attraction. I don't know what that means. What? There's this new thing. There are laws of the universe, Scott, you know about this.

I've heard of the rules of attraction, which is, uh, I believe a Brett Easton Ellis book. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. That's right. Got tricked into reading that. Do you like it? You know about this. I've heard of the rules of attraction, which is, uh, I believe a Brett Easton Ellis book. Yeah. That's right. Got tricked into reading that. Did you like it? Uh, I can't say that I did or didn't. I believe he has a podcast and we, uh, podcasters don't come after other podcasters. Oh boy.

Does that podcast have guests? I don't know. I'm not a fan of Joe Rogan. What? I'll just say, come on, man. This is me, Batman. Just kidding. You don't want him on the Rushmore podcast? Mount Podmore, of course. Well, what is the laws of, what is it, the laws of attraction? What is it? Oh, well, basically, there are all these different laws in the universe. I'm just learning about this. It's very exciting.

I grew up Christian, then I was Catholic like Batman. Why'd you switch over there? Well, aren't they basically the same thing other than Catholic, there's way more rules. Yeah, there's more incense, more sacred stuff. Uh huh. There's real wine instead of grape juice.

See, this is the one reason to switch, I think. Yeah. You know, it'd get nice and toasty on a Sunday morning. So then I get to Buddhism. That was very fun, but complicated. Like in high school, I didn't like chemistry, couldn't understand a single thing about it. That's how Buddhism felt to me.

Chemistry, which of course, Josh and Chuck had on the seventh episode of Stuff You Should Know. Oh, I thought you meant as a guest we had chemistry on. No, you had such great chemistry. Sure. That you stayed on the show. Yes, I had a job. That's right.

Yeah, that's right. So now you are, are you still Buddhist or no, you didn't understand it. Now what are you? I think there's good stuff to it. Right now I've been seeking vortexes. They got them in Sedona, they got them in Joshua Tree. You go to the place where they say they have a, a, a vortex. You go there, you feel more spiritual. You have things, ideas come to you, visit you, you know, these could, these could be our spiritual ancestors sharing things with us. Do you believe in hell?

And do you believe in here's the thing about him? Here's the thing. It's like Satan. It's so bad down there. You got to's like Satan, it's so bad down there. You gotta really like question Satan who wants to live down there. Yeah. It's like weird guy, right? Yeah.

But I mean, we all know people like that. Like my sister, she's most happy when she's miserable. So, right. Yeah. So he's like sort of a depressive kind of guy. I hear they got good parties down there. Yeah, that's true. They probably have good orgies, right? I mean, definitely,

but it might be more like a Craigslist orgy. I don't know if you've ever done one of those. So it's not gonna be high end, but it's gonna do the trick. Right, yeah. But anyway, you know- You were talking about heaven the other day about like, can you eat up there?

Because that's so much of what's good about life. Oh yeah. Is like going to brunch with friends. And in fact, I think all the food in heaven is white food. It's all fettuccine, alfredo, cheese, bread. Like it's all the good stuff that, you know, they say. Cheese bread's orange. Well, that's a good point.

I thought you meant white people food. And I thought too, like what that consisted of. Just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Although peanut butter was invented by George Washington Carver. Yeah. Not a white food. As heard on stuff you should know. That's right. That's right. No. You broke that story Washington Carpenter. Yeah. Not a waifu. As heard on Stuff You Should Know. That's right.

You broke that story, didn't you? Yeah. You invented that? That's cool. Took a long time to find that out. How many dimensions are you in, Batman? Who, me? Right now?

Currently? He's on peyote. I'm in the ninth dimension. You were in two until the Lego Batman movie, then you were in three, right? Yes, then I was in three. That's nice. That's nice. Yeah. You were in two until the Lego Batman movie, then you were in three, right? Yes, then I was in three. That's nice. That's nice. Yeah. I mean, you know, I don't know if you want to go back to the words of Jesus. Jesus said that,

you know, the kingdom of heaven is now. There's no heaven, there's no hell. You can live in hell now, you can live in heaven now, you can live in between now. You know, I lately, I got a Post-It note on my mirror. It says, life is not happening to me. Life is happening from me. You know? Where'd you get this posted? Who put it there? Oh, this is, I've been following an alien on Instagram. I'm doing one year of alien living. You've heard of one year of biblical living. To be honest, all I've heard about is raw dogging plane rides, which is where you go and you don't

watch a movie, I guess. And I've heard that that is an exclusively white thing. That's a white people thing. Yeah, that seems like it is. And I think it's a white male thing. That's a one way ticket to a blood clot if you ask me. But what is, what is, uh, what you were talking about? Uh, the, the, the, what was it?

What the hell was I talking about? You were following an alien and there was one year. Oh yeah. You were following an alien on Instagram. Yeah. Uh Yeah, I'm doing what? You were following an alien on Instagram. Yeah. In your travels, have you ever come across an alien named Bashar Batman? I have, weirdly enough. I've heard that name. I've come across an alien named Gordon Shumway. Oh, really? Who can last real long without blowing a load, right? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, watch your cat around him. Not because of that, because he is how famously he eats cats. He doesn't have sex with them.

I heard that he... Well, never mind. I don't want to say. Anyway, go ahead. By the way, speaking of, I wanted to tell you that I think it's okay to kill ants when they're in your house. Yes, it's because it's breaking and entering. I've been taking spiders out because I hear they're auspicious. I take bumblebees out because I like having cherries and stuff that they provide.

Sure. There's a shortage of them, even though they sting us. You know what I kill? And funnily enough, this is ironic, but I'm reading a TechnoCon book about love. And I have found that it is a great skeeter killer, this book. Oh, wow. How ironic. Yeah, so I killed these,

because the Skeeters we got in Southern California now, they're fast, they're wily, they're tiny. These came over from lumber from another country. Sick, it's sick. Yeah, and now suddenly we have mosquitoes here. And now we have mosquitoes and it's just a real shame. And I like to kill mosquitoes. I don't kill anything else.

I don't kill anything else. I don't kill anything else. But I kill mosquitoes. And it's so funny because my Tic-Tac-Han book kills mosquitoes so well. I heard from someone that someone was saying like, I love it when a mosquito like lands on my arm and then I'll flex really hard and they'll explode. Like suddenly the blood like goes into them.

And I was like, you're a sick son of a bitch. Wait, can you make your blood shoot by just flexing a muscle? That's the darkest thing I've ever heard. You, Batman? Who, you? Who, me? That's insane.

I know. First of all, I don't know that I've ever had the awareness, spatial awareness to know when mosquitoes land on me more than like one out of 20, probably like it seems like I'm constantly waking up and there's bites and I'm like, I had no idea all these motherfuckers were on me. But you know what I mean? You ever smack one and the blood goes all over your skin?

Yeah. And it just landed on you. And you're like, is that my blood or is that somebody else's blood? Then you lick it up because you want your own blood. Exactly. But you know from the taste that it's not your blood. Yeah. And you're like, Oh, this is someone else's blood. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

90% of my skin is covered in hot rubber. Batman. Just my, just my little mouth. Oh, that's right. I was a little, I was a worry that you were waving something else. Right. Oh, both holes are exposed. Both holes are exposed.

That is canon. This has been established on this show. So these portals, you're out there searching for them in Joshua Tree and where else? I go to places where people say there's a vortex there. I don't know what it is. I kind of picture a vortex being like, have you ever been to that one place where you can stand on like four different US states at the same time? It's called the Four Corners.

Yeah. And see it on Facebook. Now, can you stand on them or can you put like sort of like a twister game? You can put like one hand on one, one hand on one. I guess you'd have to use your hands. Yep. Yeah, because you only have two feet. Just recently learned that dogs don't have four legs.

Did you know that? What do they have? Their back legs have knees and ankles. Their front legs have shoulders, elbows, and wrists. To their arms. Yeah. They're not legs. They're not four legged.

Wow. What's the difference between, I guess, a wrist and an ankle? I'm not an orthopedic surgeon or anything. I just want to put a watch on a dog. I want to put a dog on a watch list. Tell me about it. I want to take some pyramids over to a dog now. I want to put a dog on a watch list. Tell me about it. I want to take some pyramids over to a dog. So what do you think happens to us when we die? You think that, is there another plane? Well, they say it's bliss. You know, everyone who's come back

said that coming back here sucked and that they were like, I finally feel good, a sense of belonging, safety, joy, bliss, all that stuff is on the other side. So what are ghosts then? You know that show? See, I think ghosts are time, which doesn't- Was Bobby Moynihan ever on that? Nope.

Weird, right? Didn't he have a show on CBS? Oh boy, yeah. You would think that he'd get the pass on CBS. Oh boy. Yeah, you would think that Pass on CBS where they would just made him in every single show. Yeah CBS may have check him out on NCIS origins as a funny doctor in a couple months How funny and how much of a doctor more funny than doctor I. I would definitely say that. What kind of a doctor?

Um, like doing a lot of. The head of forensics at NCIS. Did he have to learn like a bunch of words for that? It's more about, uh, technology in the 90s, cause it's origin. So it takes place in the 90s. So it's a lot of like, well, I got to splice this by hand. So it's going to take a week. That's a lot of that. So it's anything they could actually do on the regular NCIS show in like a day. Now there's just time jumps of like a month later. I pretty much just because I remember the, okay, leave

that stack of files here and I'll go through it. The OTA trial, they had, they expedited all the DNA stuff and it took six months to. The O.J. trial, they had, they expedited all the DNA stuff and it took six months to get the lab results. So every episode of NCIS Origins, just like the crime happens and then they drop stuff off to you and then it cuts to two years later. The full season is just a lot of waiting.

It's like they'll come, episode three is like, still haven't heard, it's called Still Haven't Heard. Still Haven't Heard for every single case. Yeah. There's a whole episode where I just watched the show, Dinosaurs. Not the mama. No, it's not. Who, me? No, I know. I know you're not the mama.

I know you're not the mama. Well, guys, we are running out of time, unfortunately. We only have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called Plugs. Oh, brutal. That was What is Left to Plug by Mary the Sauces. Thank you so much to Mary the Sauces for that plug theme. If you have a plug theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and upload it. And you can be famous for a week and marry the sauces you are famous for a week. And guys, what are we plugging Chuck?

Obviously we have stuff you should know. Still out there every, from what I've been told, you do two episodes a week as well as a shorty, which is around 12 minutes or so. And the regular episodes are around 45 without ads. That's right. But then, you know, Saturday we do a rerun, because, you know, that's how it goes. Okay, interesting.

So we're talking four drops a week. Four drops a week, you know, it's been out there for a long time. Check it out. We got a book, if you like reading. And I would love for people to listen to your episode of Movie Crush. Yes, that would be great.

We talk about the movie, The Apartment, the Gentle Lemon movie. It's good. And we've talked about doing it on Scott Hasn't Seen for Sprague Hasn't Seen Month. And I said the movie, The Apartment, the Gentle Lemon movie. It's good up. And we've talked about doing it on Scott Hasn't Seen for Sprague Hasn't Seen Month. And I said, well, I kind of said everything I wanted to say about it in your show.

So people can just listen to that. Yeah. And we talk about it. Insert Sprague in their mind's eye. Yeah, exactly. And you do talk in an English accent for most of that episode, do you not? Oh, Scott.

And Luanne Lewis, what do you plugging here? Do you have? Well, if people want to enjoy a little bit of heaven on earth right now, MEGA the podcast, M-E-G-A-MEGA. This is M-A-G-A. MEGA is an improvised satire from the staff of a fictional mega church. We do have guests on that podcast. Scott's been on, Batman's gonna come on. Yes, you. Batman, what would you do in a church? You fought in a church before. Oh yeah.

I would probably find the tallest point and crouch on it. Because there is that Spider-Man movie where they fight in a church and they use bells to fight venom. You know, bong and suddenly the vibrations like make them go, wow, my ears. There's never like a collateral damage is tallying up how much that church costs. Yeah. Poor, poor church. Poor church. He took the steeple with a web and tried to stab like a sand man with it.

I know. That doesn't work. Rude. So Mega is out there every week. Uh, you just do one a week. Is that right? Every Sunday, brand new episodes. Wow.

Hard comedy. The Sabbath, of course. Uh, and Batman, uh, what do you have to right? Every Sunday, brand new episodes. The Sabbath. Hard comedy. The Sabbath, of course. And Batman, what do you have to vlog? Obviously you have your own show. I do check out my podcast, who may? On CBB World. That's right.

Comedy Bang Bang. Comes out around once a month or so. You have some great guests. Thanks, yeah, we've had amazing guests. We had Black Adam, sounded like, he sounded a little bit like Eugene Cordero. Thanks. Yeah, we've had amazing guests. We had Black Adam. Sounded like, he sounded a little bit like Eugene Cordero. A little bit, yeah. Doing an impression of The Rock.

Yes. We've had a whole bunch. We just had Eric, I mean, Two-Face sounded a little bit like voice actor Eric Bowser. He's absolutely amazing. Michael Giacchino, who sounds a lot like the composer, Michael Giacchino. That's right, yeah.

And happens to be him as well. Yeah. Yeah. So many great guests on that, so check those out. Yeah, super fun. You gotta come do it. Yeah, I'd love to get an invite for that. Yeah. Who knows if I'd love to actually do it,

but I'd love to get an invite. The correct response. I wanna plug, look, we have some more tour dates next month in October. We are doing Montreal on October 16th. We are doing Troy, New York on October 17th. We're doing New Haven, Connecticut on October 18th. Tarrytown, New York on October 17th, we're doing New Haven, Connecticut on October 18th, Tarrytown, New York on October 20th and Red Bank, New Jersey on October 21st.

Come out to go see those shows. I believe also I may be a Comic-Con on one of those days as well, talking about some stuff I might be doing. So come to all of those. And you know, Batman mentions CBB World. You can check out our tour dates on cbbworld.com slash tour, as well as we have so many great shows. Who Me? Hey, Randy. This book's changed my life. Neighborhood Listen. College Town. The aforementioned Scott Hasn't Seen, let's close up the old plug bag! ["The Old Plug Bag Theme Song"]

This is YouTube. I think it is, yeah. Sorry about this, Luan. Hate that band. Oh, that was, actually it was not you too. It was Ooh Funk Yeah by Nels for Smells. Thanks to Nels for Smells. And guys, thanks so much for coming on the show today, Chuck. Always a pleasure to see you.

Thank you, Scott. Thanks so much for coming by and making time while you're here in town. Of course. And Luan, of course, wonderful to get your perspective on these important issues. Such a pleasure. And Batman, you're holding your earpiece right now.

Is something going on? I'm getting a transmission. Oh boy. Wait, are you just listening to Nirvana again? I'm just listening to Nirvana again. What is it about that Nirvana song that you love so much? When did your new movie come out? Um, I'll probably summer.

I'm guessing. So we will start summer, but what year? We'll see, honey. We'll see. You know, it's Hollywood. You know, strike, strike just happened. Strike just happened. Yeah.

But it's at a certain point. You know, we, we, we, what we all really need is a hot penguin series. That'll probably come out soon. Yeah, boy. He is hot though. Yeah, he is super hot. I hope they put him in a fat suit. That's what we need.

Hey, give the fat roles to some of us. Right? We don't have to put on the suit. Yeah. We'll bring our own bodies. We'll bring our own bodies. We'll bring our own healthiness. Yeah, boy. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye.