Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Ego Nwodim, Matt Apodaca, Payam Banifaz

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

Clergyman Pastor Pasta, grocer Albert Roe of Kissy’s Grocery Store, and 17-year-old high school student Michael Police join Scott for the first ever CBB roundtable. In this very special edition of Comedy Bang! Bang!, Scott and his guests talk about the issues of the day and how they can maybe solve some of the world’s biggest problems.

Comedy Bang Bang TVs Comedy Bang Bang. TVs keep getting bigger, but my eyes stay the same size. What's that all about? Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to the exit-tainer. The opposite of the entertainer, although I guess the tainer has no opposite. Tainer, tiner, I don't know.

The exit-tainer, thank you so much. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. My name is Scott Aukerman. I am your host. And we're doing something a little bit different on today's show. We're doing something called the Comedy Bang Bang Roundtable.

That's right. You're used to listening to this show and hopefully we've been doing it for almost 15 years at this point. Maybe you've been listening for 15, maybe 14, maybe 13, maybe 11, maybe 10, maybe nine, maybe eight, maybe seven, maybe six, maybe five, maybe four, maybe three, maybe two, maybe one, not 12.

But usually on this show, I have the guests on one by one. We'll take a break after our first guest, bring another one on, take another break, bring another one on. I'm gonna bring them all out at the same time this time. And it's quite honestly, we're doing this because it's the Comedy Bang Bang Roundtable. And that's the way it goes on the CBBR.

And let's get to them. We have such a fascinating group of guests today. We have a religious figure, we have a merchant, and we have a student, which is very exciting because I want to see where all of these people intersect and what they have in common, what they have that are differences, but where can we find common ground with each other and maybe learn a little bit more about them, but more importantly about ourselves as we listen to them. Let's bring them on. He or she, I can't remember is- He eat, but you call me a religious figure. What do you think

my shape is? What would you describe my figure as? Oval shape? Hexagon? Small at the top, small at the bottom. You're kind of like a human stop sign. Okay. Okay. Fair enough. Just with your personality, I guess is what I should say. Been eating all that pasta. Makes sense. He's the aforementioned religious figure. He is a... Afro-mentioned. Yes. Thank you. I didn't want to say it. Thank you for noticing my haircut. I decided to do something a little different. I got hair plugs in Turkey.

Oh, really? And they're in the shape of a turkey too. I got hair plugs in Turkey. Oh really? Because they're in the shape of a turkey too. They're in the shape of a turkey. It's been cut into the shape of a turkey. I'm inspired by the place where I'm at. When in Rome, when in Turkey. That's right. Yeah, did you have it cut like the Colosseum when you were in Rome?

Well yeah, I got the hair transplants in Turkey, had them cut into a turkey. And then I went to Rome, I said, do this like the Colosseum. And it was a language barrier because they were speaking Italian. Right, I know someone from Italiano Jones, by the way. I don't know if you've ever met him. Oh yeah, I met him once or twice in my life. On mic, I don't remember.

Yeah, on mic. Yeah, he paid for the meal. And then, yeah, and then I went back to Turkey. I said, put this back in the shape of a turkey, because Thanksgiving's coming, of course. That's right. It's just around the corner, if you mean maybe six months from now. If you think about it, Thanksgiving is always coming. That's true. That's true.

I mean, unless they cancel it. And they ain't gonna cancel Thanksgiving. Remember when the sheriff of Nottingham and that Robin Hood prince of thieves said he was going to cancel Christmas? I do remember that. And then now they talk about canceling Thanksgiving. Remember when the sheriff of Nottingham and that Robin Hood prince of thieves said he was gonna cancel Christmas? I do remember that. And then now they talk about canceling Thanksgiving, but I hope they don't cancel this Thanksgiving because I'm cooking something delicious.

Really? Oh, I can't wait to talk to you about it. Yeah. Oh, we gotta introduce the others at the round table. We gotta introduce, oh, and I need to introduce you as well. At the round table. Oh, you know who I am. Because I haven't.

We all know who you are. You know who I am. That's right. Do you know who I am? I don't know, but. Because I haven't. We all know who you are. You know who I am. That's right. Do you know who I am? I don't know, but- No, because I talk the same often. He is a religious figure who enjoys-

Thank you. A nice Italian meal once or twice a day. Please welcome back to the show, Pasta Pasta. Pasta Pasta. Pasta Pasta. Pasta Pasta. Pasta Pasta. Pasta Pasta.

That's right. Puff Puff Pasta Pasta. Puff Puff Pasta Pasta. I'm high on rigat, puff, pasta, pasta. Puff, puff, pasta, pasta. I'm high on rigatoni. Okay. Wonderful to have you back, but we need to introduce the rest of you. Sure.

Because unlike the other episodes you've done, this is the CBB round table. This is the round, I'm shaped like a hexagon, but this the round table. That's right. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. Let's get to him. He's a merchant.

He is the owner and I believe the proprietor of... Is that right? Do I have you right? Yeah, I'm the owner and proprietor of Kissy's. It's a local grocery store in Downey, California. That's right. Please welcome back to the show, Albert Rowe. Thank you for having me.

It's been a while, Scott. It has, yeah. It's been a minute here. Yeah, it's been exactly one minute, actually. That's right. You showed up a little early. Yeah, it was a little one minute, actually. That's right, you showed up a little early. Yeah, it was a little early. I asked you to come back when the show started.

Fair enough, you said, yeah, you said four on the dot, and I was here at 3.59. That's right, and that's rude for my taste. Show up right on the dot. I can only apologize. I'm very, very sorry about that. Okay, I appreciate that. Albert, we're gonna hear what you're up to,

but of course, this is the CBB roundtable. That's right, yeah. You know, I am very hear what you're up to, but of course, this is the CBB round table. That's right, yeah. You know, I am very excited about Thanksgiving coming up because that's a big time at the store. Big time at the store, yeah, you have all those turkeys to kiss. I gotta kiss, yeah, this is what I do.

I kiss every- Do you know Albert's- No, I don't notice. He is the owner, and by the way, I also found out he's the proprietor. I'm the proprietor as well of the store. Proprietor of Kissy's Grocery Store, and the one guarantee that store has is?

I'm gonna kiss every item in the store. Oh, even people? If asked, yeah, I've gotten into some. You go up to people and you say, are you an item? And if they say yes, then you kiss them. Well, he's gone up to couples and going, are you an item? I go, yeah, I sort of,

Are you two an item? And then he kisses them. It's a very confusing message. I do a sort of reverse, we saw you from across the bar and we liked your vibe thing, but I do it to couples only. So I'm trying to get in there with couples versus couples trying to single me out. And your market is couples only as well, right? You can't be a solo pervert.

You can't be a sick fuck, you can't be a solo pervert, you can't be a sinner in the eyes of God. Oh, shoot. Yeah, you have to be, at the very least, common law married to come to the store. Yeah, sort of a new rule. I was going to come up there and buy some pastas for Thanksgiving. If you got a romantic partner, do you have a boo? I don't have a boo.

Yeah, or what about a bae? I don't have a boo, a bae, or a beau. I don't have none of them. Beau Myrne, isn't your boyfriend? I'm not dating Beau. Your beau friend? That's Phoebe. Phoebe dating Beau.

Oh, that's right. Last I heard. That's Phoebe. Phoebe dating Bo. Oh, that's right. Last I heard. That's right. Not from her. Last time that I checked. From a guest. Last time that I checked.

That's a Nipsey Hussle song. Do y'all even know who that is? No. Okay. I know who Nipsey Hussle is. You don't know. You think Nipsey Hussle is an athlete. Yeah, he plays center for the Knicks.

We need to get to our next guest. This is the CBB roundtable. This is the roundtable. We cannot get to our third guest. This is a CBB round table. We cannot get to our third guest. A perfect place for our lazy Susan, I must say. Yes, let's get to him. He's never been on the show before, but he's here in the middle of the round table. He doesn't know that it's different.

He has no experience, no prior experience being on the show. So he's, I mean, he's just being thrown to the wolves right now, or in the deep end of the pool with some wolves. I'm confused. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, you have no idea, but let's welcome him. He is a 17-year-old high school student.

Please welcome to the show, for the first time, Michael Police. Hey, what's up, dudes? What's up, dudes? Hey, it's good to see you. Hello. How are you? How are you?

You're 17 years old. Just me, just a 17-year-old kid from school. Boy, I'd love to, I'd love to get my hands on some drugs. How are you? How, you're 17 years old. Just me, just a 17 year old kid from school. Boy, I'd love to, I'd love to get my hands on some drugs. Anybody have any connections to- Oh, okay, well I'm sure we could probably hook you up. I mean, I don't know if I have any lying around here. I'm addicted to gluten.

I'm addicted to gluten. What? No, that's not a drug. I want like, I'd love to get- If it's me, it's drugs. What do you want, some fentanyl or? Oh, great. You know, ideally, I wanna know who you get it from

and who they get it from. I always have to go to the source because- Well, let me see, I have that all in my diary. Let me see if I can get that for you. You have a fentanyl diary? What are those cords hanging out of your button-up shirt? You have electrical cords. You know the why? They help me breathe.

Oh no, are you sick? I'm so- No, no, I was born with a tiny lung. One tiny lung? One tiny lung, you can't even see it. Is your other one regular size or? The other one's lost, no one knows where it is. The doctors think that- Did you check the lost and found at the hospital?

No, no. I bet that's where it is. They think they dropped it in my, I dropped it in my mother's womb and it was never picked up and reabsorbed back into her body. Did she ever shit out a lung? She ain't ever poop out no lung.

No, I don't know. She never told me. No, it absorbs into your body so it goes back into the body. Can you open up your blouse? No offense, because I know you're underage and I'm a man of 12. Yeah, what do you mean gross, dude? You're asking a lot of really gross questions fast and fast. You can't just ask somebody why wires are sticking out of that. You kiss strangers. Shut the hell up. By the way, do you want a kiss from Albert over here?

I'm off the clock, Scott. I'm not offering kisses. He's 17! Everybody going to jail today. He is 17. 17 is the age of consent in New York. No, I've never heard of it. Really? It is? And we can all pretend we're there. Okay. Cool. I'm always in New York, damn. I've never heard of it. Really? It is? We can all pretend we're there.

Okay. Cool. I'm always in New York, baby. Cool. Something about this feels unethical to me, and you know I'm all about ethics. No, we're not going to kiss you. We're not going to open up your shirt or anything. Great.

I'd appreciate that. It's great to have you on the round table. He's got cords hanging out of his shirt. It's because it just helps me breathe because of that lung. Yeah, yeah. Where's the oxygen tank? What? Where is the oxygen tank? It? Where is the oxygen tank?

It's really small and it's in my ass. Oh, you have a small lung in your chest and then a small oxygen tank in your, I guess there's no other word. Did he say that oxygen tank was small? He did, yeah. It's very small. I got it from Germany. It's tiny.

And believe me, it's made from Audi I got it from Germany. It's tiny and it's believe me that it's made up from Audi Audi is the one who made it I got my hair cut in the shape of the Audi when I was in Germany really did you I did surprise you didn't get It like the Heil Hitler salute. Oh I don't think I don't think that that's cool. Oh you what you don't think that I don't think that's cool Oh, that's new generation. I don't think that what happened is cool and That's cool. Oh, this new generation. I don't think that what happened is cool. And I'm not in it.

I don't think that's cool either. You know what's cool? Getting your hands on some on some math. You all got to hook up. Yeah, we have hookups. Don't worry about that. We'll get that to you a little bit later. But ideally, I'd love to meet the person who's hooking them up. I always wanted to talk.

I'll make a call. I'll make a call. Don't worry about it. It's great to have you guys on the CBB roundtable. I'm delighted to be here, this is a gorgeous table. What kind of wood is this? Cedar oak? It's one of the, I mean, it's a very light wood, certainly. Yeah, light skin wood.

I guess I'm not a person, I'm not a wood guy. Okay. I can't just look at a wood and know exactly what it is. And know your woods, okay, you can't look at wood. Okay, all right, drop it. But what we do here on the CBB Roundtable is we open up topics of conversation. Wood, honestly, not a lot there.

Yeah, a little boring to you. I could talk about wood for days. Really? Because you're somebody who talks about pasta. I know, but I recently started to take interest in wood. Interesting. You don't say. I do say, I said, I said. No, I heard you, yeah.

Then why have you heard me when you say I don't say? Cause you heard me say. Okay, I beg your pardon, but pasta pasta. No need to beg, yes. Tell us about wood. Why did you get into wood recently? Because. And if it's boring, I'm gonna cut you off.

Well, just go ahead and ask somebody else a question then. I like wormwood. Wormwood, it's illegal in this time. What is wormwood? Wormwood is what they make like the Yeah, yeah, and if you all know who I can get some I'd appreciate it. I won't tell anyone that's I mean honestly Can I just be honest with you for a second? Uh-huh. I Just think you're wanting to do too many drugs too quick. Yeah

Oh god, are you oh, okay? I thought you about salmon arc and I was gonna get angry I'm not a nurse. No, okay. I thought you were about to say I'm a narc and I was gonna get angry I'm not a nurse. No, okay No, but if you all know someone who an arc does sex trafficking, let me know I'd love to get my hands on some sex sex. I know what kind of guys you think we're are We are but we're not that kinds of guys. We're like actually really chill and like not we're not bad like that I bone someone in a parked car once you bone them. How do you mean? What did it? As opposed to a moving car?

Yeah, is that sex trafficking? No, T-boned? Oh, Lord. Yeah, I T-boned someone in a parked car. It was really difficult. Okay, I don't like that, Scott. What was, how old were they? This was not on Epstein Island, is that what you're asking?

No, it was in New York and it was 17. Come on. Okay, all right, well. Look, I don't have any of that stuff on me, but we'll get you some, don't worry. But we want you to be careful as well. Cool, because I'm just a student. I'm just a regular student.

And I feel like you were trying to say, I'm not a student. No, I think you're projecting just a little bit, if I have to a student No, I think you're like projecting just like a little bit if I have to be honest But I think you're just like it you seem like a normal cool student. I saw you walk in here You attempted a kickflip and you did a really bad job. Yeah, but yeah, I really hurt my elbow I saw you walk in here too, and you was talking into a walkie talkie like a student. Oh, that's cool I walkie talkies coming back. Yeah, I'm also like a junior custodian at my school And then somebody said we need more Lysol and I said coming right up. She I mean coming right up

sir Custodian is that now a gateway to becoming a custodian at the school over time? No, no that they want you to at my school. They want you to be a junior custodian forever What school do you go to? Lake Westlake, high school. I don't know anyone who would do that, quite honestly. But not Harvard, Westlake, just regular Westlake. No, no, just regular Westlake. Oh, I'd love to go to Harvard because I heard there's a lot of drugs there and I could really infiltrate. I mean, I could

really get inside. I want to say something. Yeah, go ahead and say, hey, this is the CBB roundtable. You can say whatever you like. It's like go ahead and say, hey, this is the CBB round table. You can say whatever you like. It's obvious to me that you're kind of shaken up by the fact that I'm a religious figure. Yeah. My body is shaped like what? That's what's obvious to you? Yeah. Here's what's obvious to me. You know that Pasta Pasta is a religious figure

and you're acting out in order, because you want Pasta P pasta to offer you a religious life on the straight and narrow. And so you're acting out in order to get pasta pasta to recruit you into his religion. Is that what's going on here? Sure, I mean, yeah, yeah, I'll take it. I'll take it. In your religion, is there drugs? Let me know, I won't tell anyone.

Yeah, rigatatoni farfalle Trophy penne trophy. I'm sorry. Yeah, what? None of those are drugs and one of them was an FIE trophy Dead those are drugs you get addicted you get addicted but you named a bunch of pastas and you named a it's a slippery slope young man Everyone talks about slippery slopes. Yeah. They're fun. I mean if you're in a slide. Not the one I've been on. Catch me at the top of a slippery slope saying we all the way down. You know what I'm saying? Hell yeah. Catch me at the top of a slippery slope. How about that? Yeah. Yeah, catch me at the top of a slippery slope. How about that? How about that? Yeah. Okay, so

Bruce, look. How about that? How about that? Yeah. Okay, so the drugs I do are gonna fill you up. Yeah. With. And they're not drugs. They're not really drugs, if I'm being honest. Although one can have an addiction to eating.

One can have an addiction. By the way, I think you have that. Oh, me? Yeah. Who are you, a doctor now? Or are you a podcast or a doctor? I'm just confused. Am I a podcast or a doctor? I'm just confused. Am I a podcast or a doctor? I have to be one of those two?

You have to be one of those two. Never a doctor and a podcast. I guess I'm closer to a podcast than I am a doctor. Are you a podcast? You a podcast. I have been eating quite a bit, but it's not kind for you to comment on my body. No, it's not, but your body is really big.

You started this podcast by commenting on my body. No, it's not, but your body is really big. You started this podcast by commenting on my body. I'm sorry, I'll also end it with that. Okay, well, you know what? Since you have no remorse, which is something I try to preach, by the way. Having no remorse? No, having some. Oh, having remorse. Repentance. I gotta be honest with Scott.

I agree with Scott, your body is the strangest form of remorse. So everybody's gonna be commenting on my body today. No, no, I'm sorry. It's just right in front of me. I couldn't help it. Yeah, Albert, chime in here. rest of us. So everybody's going to be commenting on my body today? No, no, I'm sorry. It's just right in front of me. I couldn't help it. Yeah, Albert, chime in here. I love it.

Because of the shape. I think it's great. I think you look great. A hexagon. Yeah, I think, you know, we take all shapes and sizes at Kissy's as long as you have a pair. You're not allowed in the current state they live. Have a pair of what?

A pair of what? You know, you're part of a couple. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I thought a pair of balls. I know, yeah, but also, that is like, you have to have...'re part of a couple you're part of These look like breasts, but they're not breast it looks like you have three hip bones the way you're standing Yeah, should I well maybe if I sit down does it still look like that? Oh, no, it looks like you have six Immediately yeah hurts donut you ever you do sell those? We do sell hurts donuts and every time I sell one, I get in a huge fight. I get my ass kicked every time I sell a hurts donut.

The rental car place got donuts now? I'm being serious. Yeah. Well, by the way, this is a missed opportunity if they don't start making these. They should at the very least put in like a donut tire that you Can ride to a? You know to another place a tire place to get your tires food and tires aren't that far think about Michelin stalls Can only picture half of one no think about I once had rubber and I was sick for weeks I had a rubber in what capacity and how so? I ate three condoms on a day. You know, I'm in high school, you know, I have to.

I have to. I have to be the person. Yeah, I thought condoms was made of plastic. Yeah, I think you don't. I don't think you ate the right. Their rubber. I think they're popular. No, they're rubber. I don't know what. I know. I've never used one like you haven't had that. You've had sex before. Yeah, you're cool if you're're a virgin yeah, it's okay if you're a virgin yeah

Yeah, yeah, you're only 17 years old of course. I'm a virgin of course. I'm a virgin speaking of that Do you all know any like prostitutes that like oh sure and like sex workers? Yeah? Yeah sex worker? Yeah? Yeah cycle Sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive. Do you know any I love to pay for sex no I would love to go talk to the person they work for. Oh, okay. What about like about? Negotiating rates. No. No where they make their money Do they have a lawyer so those people might be one in the same, you know, a lot of these people are Their own businesses, you know Teenage or something sure sure what's up? What do you want to be when you grow up?

I Want to be a drug dealer? Yeah, the best thing is no world is drug deal I don't know I don't want to be that just look just because my name is Michael police doesn't mean I'm a member of the police And I'm so fucking sick of people saying that I'm not a high school kid that I'm actually a police officer pretending to be a high School kid it's so offensive He was part of the band the police Wait you you think it was good. Can I do one more time? And now you're prepared for it take your time now do a vocal warm-up, please

Jumping in the air feels nice today jumping in the air feels nice Doing that monotone is a perfect warm-up one two one two one two three a whisper till I die quickly. All right quickly. All right. Here we go. You don't have to jump on the air tonight. I don't know. Jump on her. What? Jump on the air tonight. OK. If you guys don't like it, that's fine. I'm not going to sit here. Huh? You think that's as good as sting? Who's sting? Oh, you're by the way, your eyes darted back and forth when we said police and sting. I yeah, I got a little horny, but that's only because I like I like scorpions and scorpions sting. I, yeah, I got a little horny, but that's only because I like,

I like scorpions and scorpions sting. Oh, that makes sense. Doesn't explain the police part, but all right. No, it doesn't. Here's the thing. I guess if I was stung by a scorpion, I'd probably call 911 and accidentally be connected with the police instead of an ambulance.

Yeah, that makes sense. It tracks it, you're right. Right, right. Well guys, look, we need to take a break. Oh, sure. But the CBB round table is just getting started. Are we allowed to kiss other people on the break? Yeah, sure And what if we hook up with somebody else? Yeah, be my guest. Okay. Yeah, I mean as long as the hall pass I'm I by the way, you don't even need to do you want to know what happens on I think you always No, you want to know the CBB roundtable. There are no consented

Do you want to know what happens? Speaking of hookup, ketamine. Anybody know any ketamine? What I can get? But I wanna talk to the person who has it. Do you wanna know what happens on the break? Yeah, what happens? But I'm asking, like if something does go down

while we on break, do you wanna know about it or would you rather not know about it? I'd like to watch it if that's possible. You're not gonna get all Ross on our ass? I'm not gonna get a raw dog on your ass? Is that what you're asking? Jesus, that's not what I was thinking either. I'm a man of the cloth and the pasta.

Yeah, you don't know anything about that type of behavior. I mean, pass, though. Who do you wanna hook up with? Look, we need to take a break. When we come back, we'll see if you hooked up with someone. Okay, when we come back, let's lay spin about it. Okay, see you soon. Okay, we'll be right back with more

Comedy Bang Bang Roundtable after this. I want crack. No, no, no, no. Yeah. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. This is the CBB Roundtable,

very special edition of Comedy Bang Bang, where we get three people in a room and we talk about the issues of the day and what's happening in the world and where maybe we can solve some of the day and what's happening in the world and where, you know, maybe we can solve some of the world's problems. Maybe at least by addressing them, it opens up our minds into possible solutions for them. And I have three great guests here and you couldn't ask for better guests.

A wide swath of people here, all gentlemen who reside within the Los Angeles area. So we may talk about local issues. We may talk about national issues. I'm not quite sure, but please welcome back to the show, Pasta Pasta. How you doing? Great to see you. Something happened on the break. Good to see you. Something happened?

Okay, I wanna catch up with this in just a second. Let me reintroduce everyone else. Albert Rowe of Kissy's Grocers. What's up? What? I didn't know that a man of distinction like yourself would say something like, what's up? I'm just trying to like, I don't know, I'm just trying to be chill now. There's just like a lot going on in the world and I have a lot of, I currently have a lot

of fires in the irons, irons in the fire, so I'm just really trying to just center myself and be chill. If your fire is an irons, you gonna need to dust the mines with water. And unplug them first. Yeah, and then something bad can happen. We also have a very precocious yet entertaining lad, a 17-year-old student, Michael Pales, is here. Hey, what's shaking dudes and dudes? This is cool. All right. This is cool. Thank you so much

It's great. I mean we've been around 15 years So almost your entire life. It's great that we have new blood listening to the show and on the show It's great to have you here. Michael. Oh, absolutely as a 17 year old kid and not a day older than that I can tell you it's real your birthday. Huh? It's your birthday. Happy birthday Yeah, you're not a day older than 17 No, that's so happy You're not a day older than 17. Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Oh, you did the black one! I just don't understand how you assumed it's my birthday based on that statement.

You said you weren't a day older than 17. Right, today's the oldest I've ever been. It's your birthday. You're not one day older than 17. Happy birthday, my friend. Thank you. I didn't know, so I couldn't necessarily prepare for a gift. Bring a cake or some pasta. I mean, you don't even need to give me cake

if you give me like, I don't know, Percocet that you don't have a prescription for. Percocet, Molly Percocet. Or do you know someone that can- What if I had a prescription for it? No, I'm not interested in that. Percocet. I don't want that. I'm a bad boy. Molly Percocet.

Don't you get it? I'm a bad boy. Like P. Diddy. Yes. Oh, no. P. Diddy't I'm a bad boy. Don't you get it? I'm a bad boy like P Diddy. Yes No, the worst boy as far as I'm concerned Why would he do? I'm I don't know what we'll hook you up with P Diddy if that's what you want. Also, what happened are Kelly? I was like I'm getting longer longer by the day. Yeah, too many bad boys. We gotta mention Jack Quaid, Hollywood's good boy.

Just to balance it out. Just to balance it out. Just to balance it out. Not me, I'm a bad boy. I'm always looking for drugs, but only to use them. Not to destroy those who sell them. We'll get you some drugs. But Pastor Passer, you mentioned something happened during the break.

Something happened during the break. What's up? I was kissed. What? I was kissed by Albert. Albert? You know what? I didn't know.

Well, I thought he owned Albertsons and that Kisses was an offshoot. And if I had known it really was just Kisses, I would not have kissed him. Wait, you kissed him because you said you were kissed. I was kissed. Well, we met in the middle. Yeah, I mean, if I get kissed, I'm going to kiss back.

OK, so it was a mutual kiss. It was a mutual kiss. Yeah. Two people met in the middle. Yeah, I mean, if I get kissed, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna kiss back. Okay, so it was a mutual kiss. It was a mutual kiss to people met in the middle. Cause you seemed very interested in someone right before the break, so it doesn't surprise me. Cause I thought he had money. Do you have money, Albert? I mean, I famously have a lot of inherited wealth. Oh, that's right, you're Jeff Bezos's son.

Jeff Bezos is my dad. Then why are you dressed like that? Yeah, why are you dressed like that? You're so casual. What, like a common why are you dressed like that? Yeah, why are you dressed like that? What, like a common slob you mean? Yeah, why you got on Tom? I didn't even know Tom still made shoes. No, these are my old Toms. I've been wearing these for like 15 years. By the way, they're mismatched, so it's almost like you have one of the ones from the pair that he's supposed to give away, and then one of the ones that you bought.

I said, yeah, give me one good one and one bad one. He only gives away the bad ones? He only gives away,, give me one good one and one bad one and then okay He only gives away the bad one. It gives me this. He's a bad. Tom's a bad guy. Yeah But you pretty well for yourself. I do well pretty well Your dad doesn't give you that much money, right? Not anymore. He only gave me like four billion dollars when I turned 18 But it's been it's been all four billion dollars. You know Something together. I'm slow as molasses. Jeff Bezos is your daddy, so Kisses.

Kisses in English. Kisses- Bezos in English is Kisses. Oh, please put this together, because I really- I hear you struggling with it, and I'm just dying for you to pull all these threads together. So you changed your last name so you didn't sound like a nippo baby. There's an element of that, yeah. You know, my dad, Jeff Bezos, made Whoopi with a Latina. And so there was a slight...

A different Latina than his current Latina? I said, Whoopi go bring a Latina. OK, I see. I'm so sorry. No, not... I've just... I got jetlag from traveling from Italy Oh, you came straight from Italy. Well, no, I was in Turkey and then Oh, right, but I spent some time in Italy if you got a direct flight to Italy, I like to take Los Angeles to Italy, I think that you can fly direct I was kicking it with a tally and oh Jones. Were you really?

Yeah, we was kicking it, big kicking it. Really? Does he have a hookup for anything? A hookup. For what kind of... For like RCA cables or? No, no, no, no, silly. Look, I'm looking to get hooked up.

I'm looking to get set up. Michael. I want to say the obvious right now. Yeah, what do you got? It's time for us to do some baptisms around here. Baptism? I want to say the obvious. Yeah.

It's time for us to do some baptism. Anybody want to be a... What's the obvious? That we have to do baptisms or this? Yeah, we have to do baptism. Yeah, we us to do some baptisms around here. Sure. Baptism? I want to say the obvious. Yeah. It's time for us to do some baptism. Anybody want to be-

What's the obvious? That we have to do baptisms? Yeah. That's part of the obvious. No, that's the obvious. Pasta Pasta wants to do some baptism. How do we do this? I want to baptize y'all in some marinara.

Oh. I want to- Is it hot? Yes, it's boiling. I brought it to a boil now. Okay. I don't want to do that, to be honest. Is it 451 degrees?

The temperature at which paper burns. Oh my Ain't that the name of a book? I have no idea what you're talking about. Okay, never mind. That scared me so much when you said that Scott Oh my god, I hate the idea of paper burning. Yeah, I want to light some paper on fire now. Oh, don't say that It's so scary. It's scary. I Why are you kissing again? I just like the way. Look, so I did a good job.

You did a good job kissing. All right, that's honestly. Rate him at a scale of one to ten. He did all teeth. All teeth? All teeth, no tongue, barely lip, which is how teeth we touched. We basically smashed skulls, yeah. Ow, my friend. What are you, the predator? It did hurt. We basically smashed skulls, yeah. It was teeth.

Ow, my friend. What are you, the predator? It did hurt. All teeth, no lip, no tongue. Oh my God, I've never asked that before. All teeth, no lip, no tongue. You're gonna sit there and you're gonna ask me if I'm a xenomorph. I think that's alien.

That's alien, yeah. Predator is its own thing. I believe it has no race that we've ever been able to ascertain. Xenomorph, alien, root word, Xeno. Good point. I'm not, that is an excellent point. I'm glad we got around to that. I'm not the predator.

No, I don't have- Are you a predator? I'm certainly not a predator either. Because you could go to jail for that. No, I am not going to jail. I'm not going to jail tonight. No, not tonight. If you ate meat today, you're a predator I had I had turkey bacon then your predator and then panchetta Panchetta, I'm was it turkey bacon or was it bacon that you had in Turkey? Cuz I do think there's Bacon I had a turkey. How did you know? Okay. I just had a feeling that it was Much have you ever thought about going into religious work?

You know, I did try to start a religious sect out of the back rooms of Kissy's HQ, you know? Was this like a Nixxiom spin-off? Yeah, were y'all branding people? I wanna get branded so bad. I wanna get branded, man. I wanna get branded too. Can you brand us? It's interesting, people talk about these cult too. Can you brand us? Yeah, we were doing- It's interesting. If people talk about these cults, and the minute someone says, oh, by the way, part

of this is we brand you. That's the minute 90% of the people are out, I would think. Yeah, most of the people say, for this reason, I'm out, and then they don't want to get branded. Like Shark Tank. They say it exactly like Shark Tank. Mark Cuban very specifically said, for this reason, I'm out, and then he ran away. Now it's Mark Cuban, Cuban. No. That's the thing. It's weird advertising if he's not. Cuban very specifically said for this reason, I'm out. And then he got ran out of Cuban Cuban.

No thing. It's a weird advertising if he's not. It's actually so like it's a cult. It's cultural appropriation, actually. Yeah, that's true. A Cuban reminds me of Scarface. Oh, yeah. And then Scarface reminds me of what I've been looking for. A cocaine dealer who I can meet his boss. Can we have this? I'm his boss. Can we have this guy? Scarface's boss?

Scarface's boss was Frank. I think he was self-compliant at one point. And then he was, and then Frank, Tony Montana killed Frank after he found out he set him up. Are you a cinephile? My goodness, the information and trivia you obtained. Cinephile. Cinephiles?

Meaning like I get turned on by people and movies? I'm going back to school. Sorry about all my stuff. I guess I back to school. Sorry about all my. I guess I don't mean like cinephiliac like, oh, OK. No, no, I'm not a cinephile, but I am a cinephiliac. Like I've jacked off to the Green

Mile so many times because I'm a young 17 year old dude. I got to admit, I've jacked off to a few movies. I've got off to the Green Book. Oh, really? What about it? Award winning.

I've got off to the Good Book. Oh, no, well, that's not good. That's bad, actually. This is bad. Oh, I'm bad. We're all talking about jacking off and I'm the one doing it wrong. That's what happens when you have four men on a podcast. You talk about jacking off. Hey, you guys ever jacked off to When Harry Met Sally? Like, especially at the end? I don't want to mention this because of Hollywood's Good Boy. It's on the show quite often and I don't want to mention anything.

But by the way, I'm winking at you. You may know the answer. OK, I'm getting one. I don't know the answer. Is the past tense of wink wonk wanked wanked. I'm in school, y'all. I'm going back to school. Are you really? I'm in school. Yeah. What school? I go to West. No, I said I'm in. I mean, I'm in school.

Oh, you're in school. You go to Wesley. I heard about 17 year old. And the only interest I have in drugs is to use them, not to break down the- I'm actually in- Okay, sorry about that. Where are you going to school, Pastor? I'm sorry. No, I want to hear why you use drugs. I'm sorry. I use drugs because I'm a young 17-year-old kid, you know? It's not because any other reason- Do you enjoy them?

Do I enjoy- Yeah, you're kidding me the other day. I was smoking What are you mining right? Yeah? What do you mind me? You're doing an Andrew Dice clay kind of like what he would Yeah, you smell like a cigarette. Well, you're like hands on like the other side of your head How do you know how to do the bouncer at pretty and pink? How do you know how to smoke crack? I've got a smoke crack before Scott. What were you earlier today around 3 p.m.? At the crack house, of course. Yeah, and I went by the Beverly Hilton in the bathtub where Whitney Houston- Do you have the address? Oh, Scotty, you're going to get in trouble for that one. I'm not getting involved. Here's the thing about that though, and it's very sad. People think Whitney Houston overdosed and died. Whitney Houston boiled alive. Now, she wasn't

even from Houston. She wasn't even from Houston. Cultural appropriation. This cannot do that. You we can't Mark Cuban. You should name yourself Mark White guy. Yeah. Thank you. And then and then that case closed and then we don't hear from you anymore.

And I don't want to get into other examples of what other people should do. But that's at least with that one. We can agree on that. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. And I think we can all agree that I'm not a police officer. Nobody is even nobody said that.

Good. Don't because it's that's not true. OK, I want to state the obvious. You was talking about somebody boiling. Speaking of boiling, I bought some pasta. Oh, yeah. OK. Pasta. You know what else you boil? I'm in school and they teach me to say things differently. You're miming right now.

You just it was like, yeah, like, working on a carburetor. Right, it's like that, just like that, right? It's like working two, passing different opposite directions. Yeah, I just wanna say, I wanna baptize y'all. Because a lot of what you talk, well, I got a tub of marinara outside the ragu. A whole tub.

A whole tub. It's like a kiddie pool full of red sauce. Great. Or like a cowboy pool because I did boil it and so. What's a cowboy pool? They got them in Palm Springs, Joshua Tree. Oh yeah, the little tin things. The tin thing, the tin, uh huh, yeah. So. That's great.

Do you have to go into those with boots on and big floppy hats? Yeah, but no underwear, nothing like that. Yeah, it seems like that's from Instagram. Just boots and the hats. Yeah, just, yeah. I don't have Instagram because I just feel like I would get too caught up with.

There's so many food Instagram things. That and women. It's a lot of women on there. Oh, and then too many foot profiles. You know, like you'll go on one profile before you know it. You spent six hours looking at feet and you're like, whoa. And that fucks up your algorithm if you spend six hours looking at feet.

You look at like one picture of like huge jugs, and then the next thing you know, your whole algorithm is jugs. I didn't even really look at it for that long. No, I was just more like, oh, what a physical oddity that is. But y'all are concerned, actually. Y'all should see, there is a pasta community. They teach you to say things differently in school. There is a pasta, I'm going to do it the right way, pasta community on Instagram. It's a whole community.

Really? It is, yeah. If you look at the hashtag, pasta. What's the hashtag? P-A-S-T-A. I don't need to know how to spell things. I just wanna know the words, my man. I got a quiz, I got a quiz on Friday.

I got a spelling quiz. Okay, I'm sorry. You have a spelling quiz and you're practicing? Okay, I got a quiz on Friday. I got a spelling quiz. Okay, I'm sorry. You have a spelling quiz and you're practicing? Okay, I beg your pardon. I didn't mean to snap at you. Yeah, you snapped at me on my damn. How do you spell snapped? Snapped, snapped.

Use it in a sentence? Okay, yes, please use it in a sentence. I snapped at you. You snapped at me, okay. S-N-A-P-E-D. That's so close. Okay, no, S? S-N-A-P-E-D. That's so close. Okay, no.

S. Unfortunately, you did a service snape. Snape, okay. One of the- Okay. Snapped. One of the what, Scott? Teachers.

Professors is what I was trying to say. Okay. Hogwarts. C-N-A-P-E-D. Okay, you are so far. Yeah, from the C, you're- Well, that's not one of the words on my quiz. Oh, that's fine then. Snap don't be, what are the words on your quiz?

Pasta. Nice. Prego. Ramsay. Ramsay. Yeah, like the chef. Like JonBenet? JonBenet or the chef.

Oh, okay. I will use it in a sentence. Iet? JonBenet or the chef. Oh, okay. I will use it in a sentence. I probably do JonBenet for extra credit. Mm-hmm, that gets you extra credit. To use it in a way no one else is gonna use it. Okay, I understand. Yeah, to use it in a way no one else is gonna use it. Great, so four words.

That's the whole quiz. That's the quiz. Do you know them all? I know how to say them, yes. Okay, good, well that's a good start. That's a good start. Because you can sound them out all? I know how to say them, yes. Okay, good. Well, that's a good start. That's a good start. Because you can sound them out

and then figure out how to spell them. Right, right, absolutely. Yeah, do you know how to spell pasta? Yeah, P-A-S-T-A. Great, yeah. You're a quarter of the way there. Yeah. Do you all know how to spell narc?

I don't. N-A-R-K. No, N-A-R-C. God damn it. I mean, I think that's what it is because I looked at the internet. What does NARC stand for? Is that narcoleptic? Narcotics.

Oh, narcotics. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't know. Looking at the wrong person. But Scott, why would it stand for narcoleptics? Why would narcoleptics stand for narcoleptics? Because they be falling asleep in class. They pretending they're students.

I know why. Let me take it from here Scott. Okay, thank you Posse. So they be falling asleep in class because they stay acting like students, but they was actually up all night at the beach. That's what they call a police station, investigating stuff. What? Who told you?

I mean, I don't know. What are you talking about? Hey, what's this? Look, I'm rapping because I'm a kid. I'm going to go to school today. That's not a rap. Please don't play with that dick. You might rhyme.

I regret to inform you. Okay. I mean, rap styles are very different. That's true. They've evolved over time. If I was a rapper, I would be a mumble rapper. Well now rap is just like someone mumbling and then another person in the background going, hey.

Okay, maybe we could try making a song. Sure. Yeah, of course I can do a song. Let's do it. Yeah, let's do a song. I want to do a song about... Beats have also evolved. I want to do a song.

I would love to do a song about pesto. Okay. Yes. Is that one of your words? No, that ain't on the quiz. But it is one of my favorite words, yes. It's close to one of the words you know how to spell really well. It's almost Two vowels off prego close to prego. Yeah prego

Okay, it's yeah, it's similar to prego. Yeah Cool. Okay, when you're ready, i'll hit a beat ding ding ding ding ding ding Um, yeah, so I love to have pesto That much I know I love to eat pesto. That much I know. I love to eat pasta. That much is faster. Yeah. Oh yeah. I think this could be good.

Skirt, skirt, you gotta hit it with a skirt. I think we need to have a hook from Sting though. Speaking of hook, I would love to just get my hands on something to sniff, to get me high. Look, Mike, what does speaking of hook mean? I know what it gets you high. You said hook, and that you have the hook up.

Oh, okay, because I thought you were talking about Captain Hook, and that's very dangerous for Captain Hook to sniff cocaine off of his hook. Oh, my God, come on. He might sniff too hard and suck us up. He already has one normal hand. He's going to use the normal hand, not the crazy hand. He's a lefty, my dear boy. Yeah.

There's no way He's not a dextrous. Yeah, the man has to be a dextrous and you have one hand you have to become a dextrous dextrous dextrous What's the word? Abba are you in a class you're getting ready for a spelling? I'm that's I'm in a class. We have a spelling quiz on Friday But that's only four words, but if I spell extra words, I get extra credit really any what any other words I'm in a class. I'm in a class. We have a spelling quiz on Friday. Oh, okay, okay.

But it's only four words, but if I spell extra words, I get extra credit. Really? Any other words you can just spell them? If I add other words, and if I use things in a sentence that you wouldn't expect them to be used in, I get extra points as well. So you can, like, any word, like the word A. A? No, not that.

It has to be at least three letters. At least three? Yeah. What's, like, the the biggest craziest word you know? The biggest craziest word I know would have to be... What about the thing that picks you up when you call 911? The thing that picks me up when I call 911, the hands of my father. Okay.

I guess, yeah, spell it. The thing that picks me up, the hands of my father, D-A, space, hands. That's easy. The thing that picks me up the hands of my father da Hands That's easy hans of OVD my my father FAT Ha there we go the hands that's gonna get you a lot of extra credit

I don't know a lot of extra but that's no cuz there lot of extra credit. But that's no, cause there's only, y'all don't listen to me. Y'all don't listen to me. I'm listening, I just literally don't understand what you meant. Of course we're listening to you. I wanna talk about how we all feel, since it's a round table,

how we all feel about things that matter to society. We're sitting here at a round table, things that matter. And you know what, Pastor Pastor, we're gonna do it. We have to take a break. Take a break, I knew you was gonna say we have to take a break. We have to take a break, but when we come back, I do feel the round table has gotten a little sidetracked,

but when we come back, we're gonna rein it in, we're gonna focus it in, and we're gonna really get to some of the issues that are plaguing society. And Pasta Pasta, you're ready for this, am I right? I am, yes, I sure am. That's what I want after the break. Here we go, and no kissing during the second break. No That's what I want after the break. Here we go. We're going to end. No kissing. No kissing.

The second break. No sucking. No fucking. After this next break. Even though you said you don't care what happens on the break. After the next break, no kissing. You're sucking. So during the break, you're still going to do it? During the break, because you said it don't matter what we do during the break, but okay. Kissing, I understand, but no sucking and fucking?

Yeah, this is going to be tough, especially for Michael Police, but we're going to take a break. But when we come back, we're going to have more from the CBB Roundtable, more Pasta Pasta, more Albert Row, more Michael Police. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. The CBB Roundtable. What happened between you two guys? Because I mean, I thought we had established ground rules, but... There is like a, what would you call it? Animal magnetism?

I don't know that I would call it that because it was disgusting. Because Kissy, he has never been with a religious figure before, it's a different kind of figure, isn't it? Yeah, it's a different figure. Yeah, different figure, kind of like hidden figures, but different, yeah, different figures. Some of America's great women.

Yeah, I want, yeah, if they do a movie about me called Different Figures, I want Viola Davis to be in it. Yeah, just to be in it. I think she could. Like cameo? A quick little cameo, just poppin'. Like, hi, I'm Viola Davis. Just in and out, they tell her that she would be on set for less than an hour. Maybe like what Tom Cruise did I think she cameo a quick little cameo She would be on set for less than an hour maybe like what Tom Cruise did before Top Gun where he's like Thanks for coming to the movies everybody. Yeah, that would be cool

There's hidden figures, but you're you're pitching different figures different figures. Okay, how often do you see someone shaped like me? This is a different figure Yes, that's true. I've never seen someone that looks like they have 18 hip joints do you look the same upside down as you do right side up let's see I get on a headstand for you right now okay let's see okay completely different looks completely different she hasn't turned it upside down yet you're having trouble with this because that's yeah because I'm not as flexible as I used to be. You said so confidently, let me do a headstand. I know I said it.

It led me to believe. Cause I'm one to, I'm a person of faith ultimately. So I feel like if you say something, there's at least a little chance you can make it happen. Tiny 0.0001% chance that you could do it. And the numbers vary from situation to situation, but yeah. But you don't have the arm strength to even attempt this. Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves, but yeah. But you don't have the arm strength to even attempt this. Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Hold on. I'd like to get that head down on the ground. You want my head down, ass up? That's the way I like to fuck. Wait, you just said no fucking a second the entire time I was looking to fucking suck you in the breast. You were looking, hey, you're a 17 year old.

Yeah, I'm a 17, I'm always horny. I'm always horny, dude. I wanna bust my jizz as we all say. Oh no, oh no, I'm 17. I'm always horny. I'm always horny, dude. Okay, I wanna bust my jizz It's not that kind of show We say we kids say these days, right? I don't know that it's that's like one of the things we can't say We could say we could say it we just choose not to yeah, you know locker room talks on the table sure We love locker room talk locker room talk is fun. Oh, you're gonna love this. I Once shit on my balls by accident. Oh, dear. What? That's not the kind of locker. I want what what?

What constitutes a locker room talk? It's anything that is gross and weird and you don't want to talk just the way you said it sounded like you did it on purpose That sucks. Also, we're talking about- I did do it on purpose. We're talking about the locker at an upscale spa resort. You know, where we close business deals. Oh, I thought you were talking about in some like maybe a blue collar, like government agency, like an LAPD or whatever.

No, we're an upscale podcast and our advertisers reflect that. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, no, that's what I've heard as well. The CPMs are through the roof on this show. You're gonna ride those CPMs all the way to the moon as far as I'm concerned. CPMs, root word being C. Thank you. Yeah, that's amazing.

How do you spell that, I wonder? S-E-E-P-E-M. I think it's an acronym, it's already spelled for... That's the... P-E-M. Pass it, pass it. You wanted to get to some important issues. What's plaguing our communities out there? You're all local heroes as far as I'm concerned. Everybody want to be gluten free. That's some bullshit. It's bullshit. I want to talk about it. First of all, the glutes are the biggest muscle in the human body.

In the human body. And they look good. They look good. Imagine trying to sit down without glutes. That would hurt bone. You probably would just topple over without glutes. You need your glute. You need the glute. So why is everyone like, oh, I don't want them. I don't want them.

I don't want them. Who's saying they don't want them? Everybody. These days it feels like thanks to the Brazilian blowout or was it a Brazilian butt lift or whatever. Yeah, the BBL. It feels like butts are getting bigger and better and I cannot lie. I got a blowout in Brazil.

You got a BBL but it was a Brazilian butt lower. I got my butt lowered. It was too high on my back. It was hard for people to discern what it was. You were all leg. I was all leg and then a big old ass on my back. It looked like your shoulders, quite honestly. Right, weird. So I got it lower, closer to my knees so people know what it is.

Yeah, I think it's too far. Honestly, too low. Yeah, a little too low. Closer to the knees is a bad idea. Yeah, I mean, it's just a good- You gotta split the difference, I think. Yeah, and I'm no expert, but I don't think your butt should ever be rubbing on the floor. Yeah. And ever.

Even when you said crisscross applesauce, your butt shouldn't be rubbing on the floor. No, no, no, that's fine. But when you walked in and I saw your butt. I was dragging the wagon. I was I was literally dragging the wagon. And that's a problem. Right. And now there's stains everywhere. Yeah. I like because I regret to inform you you you've been leaving brown stains on my floor. Yes

That's not that's not what you think it is. It's my brown leather pants Oh, what no the leather Trent the color Trent is not what you think it is Can I just what you first say out loud what you think it is? I think it's 100% certified dookie as we call it It's regular dookie. So no, it's not what you think it is. You thought it was 100 certified just usda choice It smelled like dookie and it tasted like dookie Why are you tasting because how else would I know it's dookie? You can't smell your smelling smell is not enough smell is not enough Well, yeah, you have a really trained palate. It sounds like it sounds like why yeah, why why what what I told you no, I'm trained because I

Know I rap for you guys to show I'm kid. Yeah, I went to the streets and I was so rap to prove You're a kid. We can tell you I just when I when I kiss something at the store Sometimes if I'm not looking at it, I don't know what it is So just interesting that you could smell something and identify it a hundred percent accuracy I think what you do is much grosser than what I did to be honest and it's weirder I think mine is less weird than both of you think that eating shit is less gross than him kissing Scott you're not being nice to me I didn't say I'm like eating shit because it's fun.

I tasted it simply to make sure that my nose. It is pinky. You did the pinky almost as if like you're this is a weird analogy, but like you're a police officer who found a do powdered substance at the scene of a crime. I can't even I can't even spell police. P.O.L.I.C. I can't even spell knock and they are. ThatL-I-C-E. I can't even spell knock. That's a root word.

That's good and po. Like po-po? Po-po, yeah. Oh shit. You think he's po-po? He's po-po. Hold on, Michael, can Albert and Pastor Passage and I wanna talk to each other for a second.

Is that okay? Do you mind taking your headphones off? Should we go sit by and keep the table? I don't know why, but I'm guessing there's nothing to be suspicious about. I'll take this off. That man is the police. When you said Popo,

I suddenly realized what you were talking about. Yeah, no, that man is the police, and I've been trying to- Albert, get over here. Why are you- You're just hanging out with Michael. He's such a cool guy. Get over here, we wanna talk to you.

Yeah, no, I'm getting a pretty cop vibe from him. He's obviously like a, he seems like a kid. He walks like a kid and talks like a kid. I'm hearing all of this. All of this I'm hearing. Oh, we need to lower our voices. Okay. Okay, okay, I'm gonna lower my voice.

Okay, let's go an octave down. Okay. All right, everyone. Okay, I'm lowering my voice. Do you think he's the police? I think I'm hearing- I can still hear you guys. It makes no sense that you thought I couldn't hear you.

Just now you all sound like a bunch of Barry whites, but I can hear you talking about me. I want to sound like Barry Manilow. Oh baby. Barry Manilow, do he don't sound like- Take off that brassiere, my dear. Oh no. You never said that. Oh, take off that brassiere.

He said that? No, he didn't say that. Take off that brassiere. That sound like that could be a rap song. That is a lyric. Take off my brassiere. Oh no, take off that brassiere, my dear. Okay, guys, I'm- Take off that Brazil. That sound like that could be a rap song. That is a lyric. Take off my Brazil. Oh no. Take off that Brazil, my dear.

Okay guys, I'm a- Yes. Michael? I'm really tired of this. I've- You're exhausted. By the way, you're sweating bullets. Is it cause you popped a Molly? Yeah, did you pop a Molly and now you're sweating? As a result, you're sweating? The truth is this, I popped a Molly and now I'm sweating.

Oh shit. That's what we said. That's what we said. That's what we said. Why didn't you just say yes? Scott, I haven't been honest with you, Pastor and kissy boy. I want to apologize in line. My real name is Michael Police, badge number 7473B. Hello. I am a member of the LAPD. Oh

My god what over 35 years I've been at Westfield High trying to bring down drug deal Westlake Westlake I'm a 65 year old man pretending to be 17. I am tired. Hold on. I'm sorry. I'm sorry everybody a Second ago, you were a kid. You're a teenager. Yeah, and now you're telling us you're a cop What's what is real? What is true? That's you're freaking me out. You fools. I'm a master of disguise I win master of disguise. I pretended to be a 17 year old kid. Did you take off a disguise or something? What? Your whole physicality has changed. Yes. Yes.

As you notice, I'm taller, right? Yeah. I had small feet on. Oh. I took the feet off and that's why I'm taller. You look sort of like old man New Year when he's being thrown in the river by the New Year baby, but he's got a big long beard and stuff. What?

I just don't know who that is. I don't know who that is. In the cartoons. Albert. No, I'm sorry, I don't know that. In the cartoons. Yeah. Anyway, I would really... Pastor, what do you think about this?

This is a police officer. I'm willing to forgive if he's willing to ask for forgiveness and enjoy a meal with me. Something... And you're not allowed to have any food allergies. And if you are, you're not allowed to mention them. Well, I mean, I'm allergic to nuts and crabs, but I mean, as long as it's not that. Okay, so now I don't forgive them.

Yeah, I'm allergic to nuts and crabs. Yeah, I don't want nuts or crabs either. I really hope that we can keep this situation between us. What situation? The CBB roundtable going? Sure, yeah, we can keep going. We're not in a relationship. No, the other thing that I said earlier anyway, doesn't matter.

Nuts and crabs? I appreciate you. I appreciate you. Hey, no problem. I see what you're doing. Thank you. Do you still want those drugs, by the way? And for me to tell you where I get them and all that kind of stuff?

That's a brick of cocaine just fell out of my purse. You know what? I don't care anymore. If that happened five minutes ago I would have nailed you right there. I don't give a shit. You don't even care about your top You just like the thrill of the chase. I Yes, I'll admit it typical when you're a detective. Oh my god, he admitted Wait, I've admitted a bunch of stuff already. Why is that surprised? I've been like more worse stuff before

I just thought to say that right now. I remember it was a thing root word ad Advertisement mm-hmm admittance admittance Remind me a little bit of like rain man when it comes to like but like if what if rain man wasn't a spelling not Whatever rain man was into Simply and plainly sure sure do you think I'm stupid? No, I don't I think that you're one of those people that's exceptionally smart in one thing and it makes you look stupid stupid yeah but I don't think you're stupid at all this is

the CBB roundtable I mean I know all gloves are off during it but that was a little harsh conversation between you know intellectuals and all sorts of types of people but you know what the ZBB roundtable is? This is ridiculous. Can I just say one thing that's harsh? I kept to test you all kept saying hey do you know where I can get sex workers to have sex with okay? You all look, no I don't. Instead of going how dare you? Instead of going how dare you want to get sex workers? I promised to get you one. I'm pretty sure. Why are we supposed to say how dare you. I'm chastising you right now. That's what I'm saying. But why should we say how dare you if that's what you like? Because I like pasta. I'd be damned if someone said how dare you like pasta. They're

just such different things. And I like kissing all the items in my grocery store. If I heard how dare you, that would really hurt my feelings. What you're doing is gross and weird, but it's not as bad as someone that traffics in sex trafficking. I gotta say this is the CBB roundtable and one of the rules is there are no rules other than the rule there is no chastising at the CBB roundtable. No chastising. Oh but you all can chastise me for an hour about about I don't know what. I thought we were pretty cool old timer. Yeah you 65 year old piece of shit. Hey, fuck you! You 65 year old fuck. Let me tell you something, when you two little fucks

were steaming and jumping around in your daddy's nutsack, I was out in the street protecting the puppy. I didn't steam in my daddy's nutsack, I came right out. And also- Dad, do you have a picture? I don't believe you. Don't imply that Scott and I are the same age. You should have seen the way I came out.

What age are you? I don't even know. I'm 34 years old. Oh, come on now. Pastor, pastor, what do you think about all this? You think that I'm gonna have a take on this nonsense? He says you was steaming in your, steaming in your what now?

Daddy's nuts. I wasn't steaming. I didn't come out that way. I came out a different way. I came out a different way I came out body tempered, you know, yeah, he was he was not he was like, you know 98 degrees at the time He wasn't sick Well, your dad was Nick Lashane. I was gonna say in the boy band. Your dad was in a boy band. I was his brother I was his brother. Oh, you were your dad's brother or your dad?

You could have been part of the lover's blind empire. What happened? What happened? I like how he comes out and says, and of course I'm Nick Lachey. And we were like, you haven't been a thing for 20 years. Yeah. If somebody knew, saw you, they wouldn't know. Like your wife has been on a recent CBS show. Like she should be the of course sign. Nick Lachey did the song Oh, give me just one night, una noche. Everybody knows who he is. Are you a frustrated singer? You know, I got another thing I have to say. Cause we're frustrated listening to you. That's not nice. Frustrated listeners. You want to hear a little something nice? That was supposed to chastise you. I wanna be. I hardly know All this feeling from the side little something nice. That was close to chastising. I want to be. I hardly know.

Oh, this feeling from the side. I never thought that was Rob Thomas. I was trying to say Rob Thomas. What's that again? To pay Paul? You know, I don't know the reference because I've been in Istanbul. But oh yeah, yeah, not for yet. Formerly Constantinople. Yeah. Yeah. Do we want to judge a singing show? Look, should the CBB roundtable? I got to be honest, I don't know if this format is going anywhere. I think it's good. Should we turn this into a singing competition?

I think we could. I would like to be a judge. Okay. I have a good ear for singing. I could certainly judge. I would also like to sing and judge if I can. Yeah, we could all sing and then judge each other. That's a good idea.

Conflict of interest. I'm going to vote for myself to be clear. Oh, no, I'm going to vote for myself too, but we should still at least do it. We should, tell you what, we'll a good idea. Conflict of interest. I'ma vote for myself to be clear. Oh no, I'm gonna vote for myself too, but we should still at least do it. We should, tell you what, we'll make a rule. We can all vote for ourselves, other than Michael over here, he has to vote for someone else.

Okay. Wait, what? So it's actually that you're the judge, really. And so I creep, yeah, just creeping on the down low, cause nobody is supposed to know. OK, great. That's great. Who are you voting for? I'd like to vote for me. OK, great. You haven't heard the other songs, but OK.

All right, I'm going to go. OK, you go. Because I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. Radio. What the hell am I doing here? That's actually pretty fucking good, too. I don't belong here. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That's good.

Okay, the ending was weak, but the other part I thought was very strong. I thought the ending was the strongest. I like the middle. I'm voting for myself. Okay. All right, Albert. Okay, I'm trying to think of another creep song.

There's the Stone Temple Pilots one. I wish I knew it. I'm taking that one. I'm gonna do a different, I'm just gonna do a different song completely. Because I don't want the creep thing to sort of be the thing that... Taint the wild, yeah. No, you want to make sure you vote for something with a palette cleanser. There must be lights burning brighter somewhere.

That's not better. Got to be birds flying higher in a sky more blue if I can dream of a better land where all my brothers walk hand in hand. You almost said Trump. I almost jumped ahead. That may affect his vote. I am gonna vote I think I'm gonna vote for pasta pasta. Thank you so much and I would like to do an encore. It's not, you haven't in the bag yet. Michael Belize can vote for me. Okay, Michael Belize. All right, Michael, go ahead and sing.

Fine, here's one that's about love. If you're a horny, let's do it. You're right, my opponent. My shadow is a whip. What? What? All right, yeah! Can I just start again, can I just start again please? One and a two and a three.

I'm just a bachelor looking for a partner. Someone who knows how to ride. My partner, his name was Jefferson, he was shot in the light of duty. Oh, god. This took a Wow. His name was Jefferson. He was shot in the light of duty. Oh, God. This took a turn. I'm so sorry. I just I'm sorry that happened to you, but you do still need to vote. Yeah, we need to hear. I'm sorry about your loss. By the way, if you vote for me, it'll be a tie. If you're at the polls, stay in line. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and vote. You can't vote for yourself. Everybody else is voting for themselves. I

actually voted for past the guys.. We established this up top. Why? Is it because I'm LAPD and we just indiscriminately kill young people of color? Yeah, and if you were on fire I wouldn't piss on you absolutely. You know what? You know what? If you were on fire I wouldn't shit on you. What if he wasn't on fire? If he was on fire, I'm fucking unloading the tank. This cop is on fire. That's not that this is funny. Not that this is funny to me. There's a lot of situations where a policeman

is on fire. The real song is this, this girl is on fire. Scott, are you going to have to pay for this? When I see my chief, I say hello, son. Are you going to have to pay for this licensing? Oh yeah, we pay all the songs that we use. What are you, who are you voting for? I mean, I think it's greatly unfair that I can't vote for myself, but I'm gonna go to the pastor

I'm gonna vote for the pastor the clergyman. I understand people are scared cuz I have power You see yeah, you have a direct line. I have a direct line to God. I'm like That's not that's did you want to do it is your god? Cardi B. Do you want more? Yeah, I want to do more. I want to do more. Okay. What do you got? And so I creep Yeah Usually when I see an encore Not the same part of the song

So, you know, we don't know okay what you usually do can you sing the bad boy bad boys bad boys? I know anything from the bad boys roster. I wanna do this. Including P. Diddy. Okay. It's all about the Benjamins baby. It's all about the Benjamins baby. Do you guys wanna take your votes back? What you gonna do? You're singing a rap song.

Like, that's not... You wanna take your votes back and vote for me instead? No. No. This is an encore. This is an encore. Do you want more? Cookin' raw with the Brooklyn boy.

So for one less time, I'll eat your drawer. Is that Wu-Tang? You just... Jay-Z. Jay-Z, sorry. It's like you faded away. Do you want more cooking raw with the Brooklyn boy? So for one less shot? Is that Wu Tang you just Jay-Z Jay-Z sorry faded it out Manually, what song do y'all want me to sing? It gotta be something. I know

Manuel Newman you all know Manuel Newman. He make pizzas and pasta sauce, right? But he's also a good singer and Manuel Newman. I don't know him. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's saying that some pasta pasta It's so nice. Give me that pasta with a little slice tonight Oh slice of pizza. I would have voted pasta if you had sang that on your first go-round I might have voted for you. Okay. I'll sing a song. Okay. What do we got? I don't want no scrubs Scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me Hanging on the passenger side of best friend's ride, trying to holler at me. I don't want no scrub. Scrub is a guy that can get no love from me.

Hanging on the passenger side of his best friend's ride, trying to holler at me. 05. So that's what thank you for your accompaniment. 05. I mean- 05. Accompany. 05. I feel like you could start a church choir at whatever for your accompaniment. I mean- Accompany. I feel like you could start a church choir at whatever church you're at. I can't remember what it is. I don't have a brick and mortar just yet.

You brought your brick of cocaine. I brought a brick of cocaine. You're welcome to have services at Kissy's anytime you'd like. Oh, church services at a grocery school. Sundays were actually really, were slammed on Sunday. That's a popular day for something. That's a popular day. You gotta get your meal prep stuff for the we had church services on Tuesday Tuesday's is good Tuesday's is why another brick of cocaine just fell out my brick in the wall Crazy, what was that man? I wish I wasn't hadn't retired a couple of minutes ago

Otherwise, I would have had you in cuffs. Wait you retired. I thought you just told us who you were It's called a silent retirement in the business Right, it's like quiet quit. Yes If you had me in cuffs, what would you do to me? This is one of the topics I wanted to bring up at the CBT roundtable I I would take you to jail Okay, and then what happens in jail? I mean you're gonna get processed and then you'll post the bond What is the process? It's just paperwork

As long as that paper doesn't catch on fire, we're good. I don't fuck wire rest. As long as I can deposit that paper, if I can deposit that paper into my bank, I'm fine with it. This is what happens during the CBB round table, is like all bets are off, the gloves are off, anything that can be off is off, and man, we did it though, didn't we?

I'm putting my clothes back on. Yes, we did do it. Oh yeah, we have been naked this entire episode. We haven't talked about that at all. But I like that we didn't, because this is how we came into the world bucket naked. That's right. I came into the world bucket naked.

This is how I wanna leave. And I wanna, so when you get buried, do you, well first of all, do you wanna get cremated or buried? I wanna get buried naked. And you wanna get buried naked. No casket, you want a raw dog to earth. Yep. Okay.

I wanna get buried naked with my ass in the air So the world can kiss my ass. Goodbye. Oh, yeah. What about you Michael? I want to get buried next to my dead partner Alvarado Jefferson Was the greatest man ever known Alvarado Jefferson now was he Jefferson? What was he one of the Jefferson's yes, cuz that's cultural appropriation. No, he was one of the Jeffersons. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Why why what's so weird about that? No, that's just one of the Jeffersons became a cop in the 2000s and became my partner I mean, I guess we'd never kept track of the Jeffersons after that show ended So one of them could have become a cop there should be a way where shows that have ended a long time ago

He just know you every year of like oh by the way, I mean JK Rowling that notorious turf She used to do that for the Harry Potter verse. Yeah, be like, oh, by the way, I mean, J.K. Rowling, that notorious turf, she used to do that for the Harry Potter verse. Yeah. Be like, oh, hey, guess what? A wizard, they would dump on the floor and then they would, you know, just, you know, operate it away. Yeah. Why can't we hear that about the Jeffersons? It's ridiculous. I would like to know. Yeah. If they could have the modern family, what are they up to?

Yeah. What is Phil Dumpy up to in his dumbass kid started out so cute. And then they got just, you know. Normal. Adults. Normal adults. When they grew up. They got, they got not bad looking, those kids. Okay.

You're, I know you're not a 17 year old boy. Yeah. No, but none of those, all those people are, none of them are minors. Oh, they started as minors. If you ever knew anyone as a minor off limits, bro. Oh, please. So that means like, I shouldn't want to have sex with Lisa Turtle from Saved by the Bell. Cause I watched Saved by the Bell as minors. If you ever knew anyone as a minor, off limits, bro. Oh, please. So that means like, I shouldn't want to have sex with Lisa Turtle from Saved by the Bell because I watched Saved by the Bell as a kid.

It just, you shouldn't have sex. Of course I want to have sex with Dr. Turtle. Well, Lisa Turtle wasn't a kid when she was shooting Saved by the Bell. Nice. Nice. Nice save. Nice. And you know, I sort of like go home and jerk off to her. And there's nothing to feel guilty about. If it's one of those things where you feel like you have to check, it feels like you shouldn't do it. Yeah.

If you got to ask, bro. By the way, you shouldn't be jerky off to anyone as far as I'm concerned. You're a 65 year old man. Save your energy, old man. Save your energy for the pearly gates. Wait till you little poop mongers become 65 and have somebody say that to you and you're going to be furious. Ain't going to happen. I'm going out in style before then yeah

If I could say one last thing I wanted to say about my partner who died one last thing my partner died of He died of prostate cancer in the line of fire. Yeah, no, yes He was shot he immediately after he was shot Developed prostate cancer and died right there on the spot. And I held it in my hands. I kind of feel like the bullheaded in your hands. I held his prostate in my hands. It was pulsating. Sounds like you're checking his prostate while he was dying?

He liked butt stuff. Well, I tasted it to make sure it was... Oh, okay. I'm weird. You're the weirdest one here. Fine. That's fine. And that's saying something because pasta pasta is here.

And I've actually been straight man. You've been the voice of reason here. I've actually been straight man You and I we should we should actually these two weirdos over here pretty normal I think I didn't get I was like the most normal of all actually probably we okay kissy boy guy You're kissing products in you yeah You're real normal while I'm out here every night in the streets making sure that this community is safe. Nobody even knows that I'm buying LinkedIn You're buying LinkedIn I kind of thought I'd get in there with all these other like billionaires buying websites. So like which ones for up for sale I'm buying LinkedIn. I'm gonna swear to open source. Anybody can say whatever they want on there

How do you how do you say that websites name? I I't, I keep it out of my motherfucking mouth. I know that's right, because you're about to get slapped if you keep my website outro. That's yeah, yeah, that's my website now. I just, I just signed the deed. I call it, I call it LinkedIn. I call it LinkedIn as well. No, you said LinkedIn. LinkedIn, like, like the LinkedIn project. Like LinkedIn Park?

Like LinkedIn Park. I try so hard. Oh, I don't know the rest. Like the LinkedIn project. Like LinkedIn park? Like LinkedIn park. I try so hard. Oh. I don't know the rest. Are you sure you guys don't wanna revote here? No. I'm voting for that one. So you like that one.

That was good. All right, well guys, we are running out of time on the CBB round table. Can you imagine? I can. It flew by. I guess one of the rules is that it has a time limit as well. Yeah. So there are two rules. You can do this for the rest of our lives certain I have no way to be I've got nothing we are running out of time

We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is of course a little something called plugs The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band.

The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band.

The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band.

The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. The plug band. a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and upload your song. They can be opening the plug bag themes or closing the plug bag remixes and you can be famous for a week.

And thank you to Astral Emissary. You are famous for a week and pasta pasta, what do you want to plug here? I would like to plug. You want to plug you looking at Instagram or? Yes. I didn't realize you needed me to listen to you tell us who did the plug theme, which was beautiful by the way.

I just got off of a plane, show me some mercy. You gotta catch up on what everyone is doing. Yeah, let me tell you, well Scott, I'm gonna say something right now you're not gonna like it, so I'm not gonna say it. Say it. No, I'm not gonna say it. Say it.

Are you gonna call out these men for being on their phones? Are you gonna call them out? I feel like the mere fact that I mentioned you were on yours made them like Pavlov's dog. No no no no no. Now all of a sudden I'm a leader? Okay. Alright. I would like to plug community. The show or? No the general concept. I think people should find community. Yeah, find it wherever you can. Find community where you can of good people. Yeah, people who will lift you up, not tear you down. Exactly. Perhaps a study group at a community college streaming on Netflix.

Yeah, with six seasons and one movie. If y'all want to plug that, have at it. Gillian Jacobs hopefully will return to the show so we don't have to do another one of these fucking CBB round tables. We have a real star on the show. Well, damn. It's true, but you don't have to say it. I mean, this is fun, but Jesus fucking Christ.

Anyway, so what else do you wanna plug? That's all. That's all, nothing, no television program. Why do I have to plug a program that is not struggling to get viewers? It's not I don't think it seems like they keep selling ads in the middle of it to like all the sketches are suddenly sponsored I don't know about that. I don't know that I think they're getting a lot of interesting guests too And that's bringing traffic. I think that program I'm on what a great guess recently that program

I'm on is doing a fantastic job of staying on air Okay. All right. Well, I mean, you know if I don't plug today, this will be the demise of the program I think it won't make it to 50 if I don't plug it right now. It won't make it to 50 Yeah, I'm a big fan a big fan of the NYPD. Let me tell you they have a dance team, you know They do. Yeah, we saw that. Yeah, we saw that video. Wow, you're really plugged into what's going on in popular culture.

In New York, yeah. Especially in New York. I have to go, a lot of my flights connect there when I'm heading over to Europe. It's wonderful. Yeah, it's a beautiful city. It's a beautiful city. It really is, the Statue of Liberty, all the rest.

Oh, she's gorgeous. It's a concrete jungle where ginger made up. How about her body, huh? Honestly, like, as far as women go. Statue of Liberty's a baddie stacked. Yeah absolute smoke show. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, try climbing that tree Yeah, her BVL is in the exact right place her BBS where her butt supposed to be her BVL be where her butt be Yeah, shame. I once went and visited but my neck hurt and I couldn't look up. So no So you just saw everything like street level I saw I saw a pancake ass

I saw nothing was just flat everything was flat If you were unable to look up you wasn't looking at a ass. Yeah, you're looking at her ankle I was kind of looking at her feet. You thought her ankles were her ass. I I mean, it's a really really big statue and I couldn't look up because I had a crick in my neck from being out all night Fighting crime in the streets of Los Angeles. Wait, you were easier jobs to have honestly. Yeah, honestly Yeah, it's like pizza delivery drivers are in more danger. Yeah. Anyway, Albert. What did you plug? You want to plug pasta pasta going back to Instagram I'm just gonna plug Instagram. I do think it's a pasta

pasta don't do well with people telling her grown ass what to do. Just an FYI to everybody. I'm gonna go ahead and plug a podcast that I've been playing in the loudspeakers over at Kissy's. It's called weird. Yeah, it's weird. Nobody likes that actually. But people do ask me what it is so they can listen to it on their own time. It's called Get Played. It, it's weird. Nobody likes that actually, but people do ask me what it is so they can listen to it on their own time. It's called Get Played. It's over on the HeadGum Network and it's a video game podcast hosted by Nick Weiger, Heather Ann Campbell, and Matt Apodaca.

They talk about video games. They talk about new games that are out, games that are coming out. They talk about video game movies, all sorts of video game stuff. They have a lot of great fun. They also have a Patreon where they talk about anime called Get Animated over at patreon.com slash get played. Lots of fun, good stuff. Good stuff. All right.

Well, hey, Michael, police, I don't know what you would have to plug. It seems like you're retired. I like to plug that I went to Costco the other day and I lost my gun. I think I dropped it somewhere and it was fully loaded. And it's that one gun that constantly goes off by itself. So I'm hoping that the Costco in Konoca Park, somebody finds my gun. What I'd like to plug is a young gentleman I know, his name is Payam Banefaz. He's on Instagram, at P. Baney. He's decent looking, cute. It's kind of fun. That's a cool way to shorten that. At P. B. A. N. I. Yeah. Yeah. I like his style. I think he's great. I think, he's kind of funny. That's a cool way to shorten that. At PBA and I. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, I like his style, I think he's great.

Yeah. I think what he's doing is great. If he was here right now, I'd kiss him on the mouth. God, if he was here right now. Fuck him, whatever he wants, whatever he wants, I'll do it. Whatever he wants. But anyway, thanks. We've never had him on the show.

It would be great to have him on and do some sort. And I tell you what, if you guys do hook up, we'll pay for the second date. Cool, thanks. And I hope you treat him better you guys do hook up, we'll pay for the second date. Cool, thanks. And I hope you treat them better than you guys treated me tonight. And treated me frankly, and better than I was treated as well.

Why pasta pasta? Because I was attacked for just being, Carl taught me up here on his phone, he don't get called out. Oh, he gets called out. No, I've been up here, Carl don't never get called out. I've been up here, Carl full on texting. out. I've been up here Carl full on texting. He's too big.

He's too famous. He's too imposing. He's too famous, yeah you scared him. I don't mean famous, I mean like physically imposing. Physically, well what if I told you I had a weapon on me? Oh, what? A machete. You have a machete on you. Machete, root word being mash.

Okay, that changes things. The root word is mash? Yeah, it's like mashed potatoes, Michelle. That definitely changes things. Look, I need to plug things if that's okay. Okay, Scott, we would love to invite you to plug something. Now I need your rap detention. I'm here.

I need direct eye contact while you do this. I'm here. Okay, and don't look at your notes. Look at me, go. I'm not gonna look at my notes. Okay, don't look at your notes. All right. Tell me.

What I wanted to say is, go head over to CBBworld.com. Okay. We have so many great shows over there. Don't look away. We have ad-free episodes of this show, ad-free episodes of Three of Them, but we also have CBB Presents with shows like Entree P. Noor's Entrepreneur Tour. That's a show people should tune into. Featuring Appetizer P. Noor and Foster's Parents. Parents Foster.

Parents Foster. Parents Foster. Don't look away. I'm not looking away. Don't look away. I'm not looking away. Don't look away. And also we have, you know, Neighborhood Listen and College Town over there. So much stuff going on over there.

And you can either subscribe for a month or you can subscribe for a year and you get two of those months free. Also we have wet day merchandise out there. If you want to celebrate wet day, of course. Don't look away. It's over at Patreon, no, not Patreon. It's over at podswag.com. Uh huh. And the the

action figures, CBB action figures are out there and the CBB book. All of that stuff is available to you. Yes. And more. And don't look. You want to look. You have to look. I am going to have to look down in order to trigger this theme song. Okay. All right, we're closing up the old plug bag. I think five's good. in the plug bag. Ah, 40 seconds now seems too long. It used to be under a minute and then 59, everyone's doing 59. I think five's good. Five's a little, you start making these five seconds.

That was How You Clopen the Plug Bag by Charto. How You Clopen the Plug Bag by Charto. Thank you, Charto. Thank you, Charto, and thank you to our guests, the very first CBB round table. This was historic. Will you do it again, Scott? I think I will.

As long as you three return to do it with me. Oh, I would be delighted. So no one here, do you deem an A-lister worthy of? I mean, would I? Alphabetically, certainly me. Sure, Albert. Yeah, I mean alphabetically by first name. Yes. Yeah, Pastor Paster, you, by first name. Yes. Yeah. Passive, passive. You're a P list or I'm a P list.

And Michael, please. You're an M list or unfortunately, I don't know what that means. But what I do know is what I'm proud of is the work that I've done in this community for over 35 years. What have you done? This is retirement. Like, honestly, I have shot so many people who have ran away from me.

I've shot so many people who have ran away from me. I've shot so many people who stole gum. I've done things that have helped this community. Well, you can't steal gum. You're not supposed to steal gum. Yeah. So if you steal gum... You're supposed to buy it. Yes, exactly.

Thank you, Pastor. A death sentence is appropriate for someone. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I hate to be on the agreeing side, but yeah, you shouldn't steal anything. Shouldn't steal gum. Yeah, it sucks. A merchant like yourself, Albert. I put that stuff in the store. You order it wholesale, certainly, at a cheaper price than we can get it. Oh, absolutely. But still, there's no excuse for stealing that gum.

No, no, and it should be punishable by death, absolutely. If it was up to me, it would be. Unfortunately, it's not. Yeah. Well, what's not. Yeah. Well, what a wonderful note to end this first CBB roundtable on. I think this was a great success. I can't wait to hear what the listeners have to say. Oh, yeah. Please send it to us.

Please send it to us. Tag us. Tag us. Tell us how much you love it. Yeah. Look, you're just as much of a guest on this show as these three gentlemen are. And our favorite thing about modern day social media is the interaction with the fans. And they say to us what they like and what they didn't like.

I want to know. Yes, we want to know. We need your constructive criticism. I want to know if you really love me. Because when we see criticism... I want to know if you really love me. I want to know if you really love me. I want to know if you really love me.

I want to know if you really love me. I want to know if you really love me. I want to know if you really love me. I want to know if you really love me. I want to know if you really love me. I want to know if you really love me. I wanna know if you really love me. Do we know any other lyrics? I wanna know if you really love me. I wanna know if you really love me I wanna know If you really love me I wanna know If you really love me

Well I should be going now I wanna know You were the last one We got your ass Alright we'll see you on the next CBB roundtable Bye everybody Bye everybody we wanna know Stay out of trouble you morons!

Motherfuckers!