Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Haley Joel Osment, Jon Gabrus, Vic Michaelis

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Academy Award nominated actor Haley Joel Osment joins Scott to talk about his new movie Blink Twice, where he would live for 180 days out of the year, and the 25th anniversary of The Sixth Sense. Then..., intern Gino Lombardo returns to talk about his recent run-in with the law in Nassau County for wearing a mask. Plus, Pokémon trainer Ember Chuckit stops by to talk about a pilot program that Professor Oak is running.Get tickets for the Comedy Bang! Bang! Into Your Mouth Tour 2024 over at https://CBBWorld.com/tourCheck out The Action Boyz Live on Saturday, September 7th at The Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. For tickets go to live.actionboyz.biz

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 I like my books like I like my coffee, eight ounce oat latte with a shot of vanilla, no whip and lots of pictures please. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Ah, that was a mouthful, but I got it out. Thank you to Hura Sugarcane for that catchphrase submission. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang indeed. And my name is Scott Aukerman. We have a great show for you today.
Starting point is 00:00:47 We have an actor is here and we have a trainer is here. So the two sides of acting is getting the words out and getting your body right. And these guests we have on the show perhaps know about either side of that equation. Special September episodes coming up next week, so be on the lookout for those. But of course, we're in the dregs of August now, very last week of August, and hoping to get through it. Let's get to our first guest. I've mentioned stars are back
Starting point is 00:01:26 and there are none brighter than this gentleman. He is an Academy Award nominee. So close. Man, one out of five. Kills me every day. You had a 20% chance. I know. And then who wins it?
Starting point is 00:01:42 Batman Begin himself. I know. For Batman, right? Oh no, it's for something else. For Batman Begin. He should who wins it? Batman Begin himself. I know. For Batman, right? Oh no, it's for something else. For Batman Begin. He should have won it for Batman. They should have brought him back and given it to him again for Batman.
Starting point is 00:01:50 They should have. He top lined several movies in the 90s, and now he's in a new movie called Blink Twice, which is in theaters now, just had its opening weekend numbers roll in and they were through the roof. Yes. And he's gracious and generous enough
Starting point is 00:02:12 to appear on this show. Please welcome back to the show, the handjob man himself, Haley Joel Osment. Good morning, Scott. Good morning. How are you? This is special. This is not as early as the Paul Feig episode.
Starting point is 00:02:23 No, or your recent flight to Vancouver, if I remember correctly. Yes, yes, that was a 6 a.m. flight. Paul Fiege episode was at 8.30. We are in the sweet spot of 10.30 a.m. It's practically the afternoon. Yeah, exactly, what do we care? It's great to see you again, thanks for coming by.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Thanks for having me, Scott. This marks your probably... Yeah. Fifth? Fifth, sixth time on the show. Yeah. Wonderful to see you. Sweet spot.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Yes, that's right. Now, Blink Twice, this is the sequel to Don't Blink, or what, is this in the Don't Blink-iverse? Blink is the Adam Sandler movie. It's like Blade Runner and Alien. Like it's not immediately obvious, but they are in the same universe. What is Blink is the Adam Sandler movie. It's like Blade Runner and Alien. Like it's not immediately obvious, but they are in the same universe. What is Blink?
Starting point is 00:03:09 Blink. Do you mean click? Blink. Oh, I'm sorry. It's a... You were so wrong, your headphones flew off your head. I just had full body tremors of recognition.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Blink is a Ghanaian telecom company that my college roommate did a commercial for in 2009. You can probably find it on YouTube. Don't Blink is, uh, it is a film. What am I thinking of? Don't speak? Don't speak? That's a no doubt song. Is this the sequel to Don't Speak? Yes. And Gwen Stefani might be making an appearance in this movie. Oh, yeah. It's fan service. She turns her chair around. She does. Yeah. Yeah. They plug her back in.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Isn't it interesting? Ian Holm is there. She she was one of the biggest pop stars in the world. And now the first thing you think of her is her turning a chair around. I don't know what you're talking. Oh, oh, the show. Yeah, I'm a little behind the times on that. I was that strange. I was imagining her career's reduced to that.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Well, I mean, how many tens of millions of people watch The Voice? Not me though. Is this the sequel to The Voice? It is the sequel to The Voice. Blink twice if you don't have a voice. Well, now television and movies can be in the same universe, Scott.
Starting point is 00:04:19 That's kind of the world we live in now. Don't breathe, don't breathe. That's what I'm thinking. What's that one? Is that French movie? The Blind Guy? don't breathe, don't breathe. That's what I'm thinking. What's that one? Is that French movie? Don't breathe. Daredevil? The sightless gentleman.
Starting point is 00:04:29 No, not Daredevil. Although Daredevil should have made an appearance in my opinion. He should have. He might. He might in number three. No, it's a great psychological horror film where people break into a sightless man's home.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Trying to rip him off and he's a badass who has... Wait until dark? What are you talking about here? I'm talking about Don't Breathe. Oh, my good fella. I've never seen it. Yeah, you gotta see it. It's very good.
Starting point is 00:04:53 I still have to see the sequel. If the man is Audrey Hepburn and Alan Arkin's in it, then I have seen it. Here, I'm gonna play a little bit of the trailer here for you. Oh, nice. But first, there's an ad for... The thing I heard when I got a little money, I put all, but first there's an ad for For Walt Disney, what is this for now for some reason the related videos find a soulmate from Vietnam Oh
Starting point is 00:05:17 Intriguing Okay, this is the this is now Southwest ad When are we getting to the bonus ad? Yeah, I got a bonus. I'm not paying extra either. Wow, that's incredible. This is incredible. Alright, here we go. Here's the from the creators of Evil Dead. Blah blah blah blah blah. Sounds exciting already, doesn't it? It does. I'm not breathing.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Your lips look sore. That's how you're making your cash out there? What year did this come out? This was... It's a promise out this was a good question looks well it says August 26 does that narrow down yeah well there's only August 26 every four years ticket out of here leap summer this guy is sitting I don't know maybe eight years or so oh 2016 okay I did not see this movie. Yeah. Talk to me? No, it's not that.
Starting point is 00:06:06 No, I believe it's Don't Breathe. But now what is Blink Twice then? Well, this movie stars Channing Tatum. Would the trailer have two ads in front of it? We might, I mean. I gotta look it up. Judging from how long we waited to go into the theater
Starting point is 00:06:22 for Romulus last night, you could have up to 35 minutes before the movie starts. But once- Which one do I click on? Do I click on the minute long one or the 227 one? A blink twice? Yeah. The minute long one. The minute long one?
Starting point is 00:06:35 Yeah. Okay. Well that just goes right in. I don't have any ads at all. Fuck it. No. He's only comfortable if he gets a little- Yeah, I need to ease into it. I'm not ready immediately. I need to jump right into the movie. He's only comfortable if he gets a little... Yeah, I need to ease into it.
Starting point is 00:06:48 I'm not ready. Jump right into the world. You'll have to equalize. Yeah, exactly. So what is Blink Twice? Blink Twice is a movie. Channing Tatum is in it? Channing Tatum is in it.
Starting point is 00:06:56 Gambit himself. Gambit himself. Naomi Ackie is also in it, along with myself and a wonderful cast of characters. Channing Tatum is a tech titan namedater King who, uh, has just gone through a scandal. He meets- I would call him Slater Kingy. Slater Kingy?
Starting point is 00:07:13 Kingy. Like, oh, like Slater Kenny. I would say Slater Kingy. I would call him if I was his friend. Okay. Not Slater Kenny, Slater Kenny. I don't know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Would, would his, uh, would his character be friends with me, do you think? If he was real in the world and he looked like Channing Tatum and we ran into each other. Do you think we'd hit it off? I think you'd hit it off, yeah. You will know the first scene in this movie, you'll see somebody who kinda looks like you
Starting point is 00:07:39 in the pre-party that they have. That's cool though, I like that. I know, well that's what we want you to feel good Scott. And I recall that. Like, you know, I was in Zoe's year, the whole movie going like, would Scott like this? Would Scott feel comfortable? Yeah, it's horrible. I don't care if I like it or not, I want him to like me.
Starting point is 00:07:54 If we decide to digitally add Scott into it, leave a little headroom in the front. Not after I'm passed away. No. No? I want no one fucking with my digital image. You haven't told your estate that it's cool to put you in future alien movies Like that's the only exception. I want to be in future alien movies. Yeah. All right, that's that's good That's like the pinnacle of human evolution. Yeah, where they're like this incredible
Starting point is 00:08:18 Xenomorph is only eclipsed by this human The perfect man. I this is why I had a really good time. On my 18th birthday, I went and got a will made and that was a really fun time with an estate attorney. You get to choose where they dump your body. It's great. You had the wherewithal to do that on your 18th birthday. You had so many assets.
Starting point is 00:08:36 I like to get my errands done. Yes. That is really early. Yeah, before I blow out my candles, I want you to know I want to be cremated. I was in my 40s, I believe, before I took care of that. And it was it was one of those like, and we do ads for it sometimes. Good thing I didn't die, because people would have left with a lot of weird shit.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Yeah, exactly. You got to close all your subscriptions, all your apps. I know. So what is this Channing Tatum, this Slater King, what is he up to in this movie, Blink Twice? He is trying to rehabilitate his reputation. He's gone through a recent PR scandal. Is he like the guy in that commercial who's like, he goes, okay, any last questions during my job interview?
Starting point is 00:09:19 And then the person goes, we just have one. What is all this on the internet? He goes, oh, why is all this still popping up? What are you talking about? We have not been watching the same things at all recently. I mean, for a company that's like scrubs the internet of like bad shit about you or something like that. They don't know by now that that doesn't work?
Starting point is 00:09:36 That company can still pretend that they can do that? It's like the, what do you call it? The timeshare, like I'll get you out of timeshare companies that are also kind of a scam themselves. Exactly. It's just like that. I'd love to do a timeshare with you. I would, I think we would actually be the first pair
Starting point is 00:09:51 to make it work. We do 183 days a piece. And we have to- The math, well, every year we'd have to live there. There'd be a day we'd have to kind of fight over, but I'll give you the day. But we have to, much like when you're running for office, you have to reside there for those 180 days. Yeah give you the day. But we have to, much like when you're running for office, you have to reside there
Starting point is 00:10:05 for those 180 days. Yeah. You know, Scott, I've realized I probably can't run for office because of where I've said I've lived at times in my life. Or where you're like, certain times you're on location, you're like, how many days was I actually in California? It's murky. For tax purposes. I snuck out of state in somebody's trunk. IRS, if you're listening. If anybody wants to go to Mandoy Bay and bet, will I run for office? I snuck out a state in somebody's trunk. IRS, if you're listening.
Starting point is 00:10:25 If anybody wants to go to Mandalay Bay and bet, will I run for office? Well, I just ruined it for you. All of your assets are in the Cayman Islands, aren't they? Well, I mean, where else? It's beautiful down there. I was at the beach yesterday, Scott. If you had to live somewhere 180 days of the year,
Starting point is 00:10:41 183 days of the year, and where we both had to live there. Where would you want to do it? Sicily. Yeah, why not? 180 days. I can do 180 days easy in Sicily. Yep. They have the, they have the, the base 18 calendar over there. Yeah. They have a lot of trains you can ride.
Starting point is 00:10:58 So it would be 10 months. 10 months. Yep. The conversion rate for your time is just incredible. That's how I'm going to get you for the timeshares guy. You think you're getting 183 days. But I'm really getting 10 months out of 12. Oh, damn it.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I did it wrong. So tell me about this, this Slater King. He sounds like an interesting fellow. He is so, he's fascinating. And he gathers this, this motley crew around him, not the band, but an interesting group of guys. It'd be interesting to see Tommy Lee going like, I've started in one movie at least, if you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:11:34 And everyone's like, all right, what did you think about? Shut the fuck up. What do you think about Machine Gun Kelly having full body tattoos, getting them covered up every morning and then putting a different set of full body tattoos on to play Tommy Lee? Oh, that's right, because his tattoos are copyrighted. Is that correct? I think that's part of it. But he also wanted to be, you know, historically accurate. I find that very strange that you can copyright tattoos. Like, I understand if it's a copyrighted character, but like the Mike
Starting point is 00:11:58 Tyson tattoo that the guy copyrighted and then sued the hangover for. Exactly. It's on his... That's what started it, right? That was the Supreme Court case that- But I've always felt that about like, greeking things on TV, like shoes and stuff like that. It's like, we wear shoes. People wear shoes. I know. You can't create your own shoe line
Starting point is 00:12:15 every time you wanna make a movie. Fair use. Honestly, I think it's so stupid. Yeah, and I think the iPhone people are the smartest people going like, no, please put our iPhones in movies. We won't sue you. It normalizes it. Yes. Thank you. Anyway, speaking of normalizing. Yeah, this Slater King character Seems to be trying to normalize his reputation
Starting point is 00:12:34 I don't want to give anything away, but he is not a normal fellow and neither are the people around him They're they're an extraordinary group of people and he sees them all as Experiments about human nature. My character, Tom, for example, he's a- Tom, what's his last name? We didn't decide on one. You never- I never create past the page.
Starting point is 00:12:54 It's not allowed. Yeah. When my line stops, I stop thinking. It would be very, very funny if one of the care, like Channing Tatum just ad-libbed your last name during one scene, and you're stuck with whatever it is. Sometimes I think that happens more often than not in movies
Starting point is 00:13:09 where you see it written on a piece of paper that they did in second unit or something, but they called them something else later. I find, like, Joey Pantz, Joey Pantaleano, did the opposite in The Fugitive, where he insisted everyone call him by a name, because he was FBI Agent One or something. So he kept insisting people in scenes
Starting point is 00:13:27 call him by whatever his name ended up being. And was always standing right next to Tommy Lee Jones. You're like, no, your mark's over there. No matter what the blocking was, he would finagle his way to stand next to Tommy Lee Jones in frame. And he's in US Marshals, is he not? And he was supposed to die in the Fugitive
Starting point is 00:13:44 because he gets hit with a fire extinguisher. So he's like, oh no, I'm not gonna die because I wanna be in the sequel. They hit him with a fire extinguisher and he goes, ouch, ouch, ouch. So that everyone would know he was still alive. They don't teach that at Juilliard. No, he's one of our greatest actors.
Starting point is 00:13:59 I love that. I was just listening to the Ridley Scott director's commentary for Alien and he said that when it came time to kill... So you're cool. I am pretty cool. Yaffe Koto was like, this thing couldn't kill me. It's not going to kill me.
Starting point is 00:14:12 And he's like, I kind of had to work around that and convince him that, yes, you will die. Really? Interesting. Actors are weird, right? Yes. Oh, yeah. No, Britain. We're normalizing ourselves, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Did you do something like this with Blink twice? Like what? I don't know. Say that nothing could kill me. Yeah. Yeah. Every morning. Yes. I will never die. So Channing Tatum's company. No, but he has this this luxurious island and he meets these girls at a party and he whisk them away to a luxury vacation
Starting point is 00:14:45 on his private island, where things start to go a little sideways. This is incredible. It's directed, of course, by the subject of the song Flowers for Zoe off of Lenny Kravitz's second album. That's right. Zoe Kravitz. That's correct.
Starting point is 00:15:01 The winner of Hot Ones. You ever seen her episode? I have not seen her episode. She does not react Ones. You ever seen her episode? I have not seen her episode. She does not react to spice. Just doesn't take a drink of water is just invincible. She's just fine, wow. She just has got that.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Yeah, it's a great one. Wow, I feel like that's how I would be. Yeah? Yeah. I think I would enjoy it, but I, being Irish, my face would just start to expel all the moisture. I wouldn't have anything. Like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:24 I feel like. You just refused to take a bite? No, I would take the bite. I would just not to expel all the moisture. I wouldn't have anything like, yeah. I feel like you just refused to take a bite. No, I would take the bite. I would just not, I would just not react. Yeah. This is the thing when people like react like that, it's like, just don't react like that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:33 That's like when I was, I've said this before, well, I was watching the Olympics the other day. I was like, like two runners are running neck and neck and then one like suddenly starts running faster and wins. It's like to the other one, just run as fast as the other person. Just keep running faster. And run a little bit faster than them. It's like, it's easy. This explains why when I came into your studio this morning, you had a lighter turned all the way up
Starting point is 00:15:52 and you're just burning your palms. Yes, exactly. Stoically. Human beings are unfathomable to me. So this is out, Blink Twice is out in theaters. Theaters nationwide and nowhere else. And this, Zoe Craven of course, is an actor herself.
Starting point is 00:16:06 She is. And how was that being directed by another actor? Was that, was she particularly attentive to the acting? Yes, absolutely. And it was a fabulous experience. It's a big cast. We were out in the middle of the jungle in a really difficult place to shoot logistically.
Starting point is 00:16:21 We were all living at the set in this, this crazy old 17th century Hacienda. And she had, was just very calm and steady being the leader of this group of people doing, you know, stunts and effects and all the, you know, uh, a lot of crazy things happen in this movie. And I think, yeah, having the experience as an actor really, uh, uh, teaches you how to work with actors, which not every director can do. Which when you work with actors, it's basically you just gotta coddle them, right?
Starting point is 00:16:47 And go, oh no, you're very, very good. Oh no, this is great stuff. Normally I'd say it's the food, but there wasn't a lot of food in the middle of the jungle. Really, they didn't think about that. You couldn't lean on feeding the actors or withholding food to get a response from the actors.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Wow, well, this sounds like an incredible movie. Blink twice. It's out there now. Do you think you'll get another Academy Award nomination? Guaranteed. You heard it here. And lead. I might be six on the call sheet.
Starting point is 00:17:18 I can't remember. Wow. I know you like to hear those things, Scott. I love that. Hojo, I love to see you moving on. I can't remember and it was in Spanish too. So six on the call sheet, but I'm going for lead. like to hear those things, Scott. I love that, Hojo, I love to see you moving on up. I can't remember and it was in Spanish too, so say it on the call sheet, but I'm going for lead. And you'll take down Michael Caine of Batman Begin.
Starting point is 00:17:31 I called him and I said, look out, what are you talking about? Whatever you have in the hopper this year. You'll see, you'll see. Did you see what he tweeted the other day? He was like, calm down, Batman Begin. Yes, like that's right. I believe I've been referencing it
Starting point is 00:17:45 constantly throughout this. It's still 830s guys. Well, this is great. Blink twice is out there right now. And what else is in the hopper for you? You got something else coming out? Yeah, I got a little bit of a Um, well, this is great. Blink Twice is out there right now. And, uh, what else is in the hopper for you? You got something else coming out?
Starting point is 00:18:09 Yes, I got Wednesday coming out early next year. Um, that's confusing. Just put it out this Wednesday. It stymies me so much. No one understands I'm talking about, you know, I'm going to shoot Wednesday. What are you shooting Wednesday? And then just over and over and over again, until we pass out. Who are you? Are you Gomez this year?
Starting point is 00:18:27 I in a flashback, I'm Gomez. Yeah. And it's just me and Luis Guzman fighting crime. It's great. Yeah. Incredible. I wonder if I'll actually get in trouble for saying anything. The fact that you're even in it. No, no, no. And I actually when I left, I was like, well, I'm just have to lie about why I was in Ireland for over a year. And then Netflix just went ahead
Starting point is 00:18:47 and put my name on a little release. Oh my God, he admitted. I was being really cagey about why I was out of the country with everybody. Wow, yeah, you worked on that story for years and he just tweeted it out. I know, exactly. I'm doing several memes today.
Starting point is 00:19:01 You are on fire. Shit. Yeah, I know memes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not too old for memes. You have memes, you have memes. And then lastly, I'll be at the Toronto Film Festival with a little short film called The Yellow
Starting point is 00:19:20 that was directed by Micah Monroe, which we saw in Long Legs recently. That's right. And Simone Farrow. This is other thing is like short films. I don't get those. Make them longer. You know what I mean? Like your attention span is too long. Yeah, exactly. That's why you got to pad it out with commercials to even watch a one minute
Starting point is 00:19:37 movie trailer. I know I needed to feel weighty. Yeah, like I did something with my time. Yeah. Well, this is great. We love to see you up there on the silver screen. Of course we love it when you're on the small screen, but there's just the intoxicating allure of the silver screen when we go to the movies. And we love to see you up there.
Starting point is 00:19:55 And I'm sure it's the number one movie this weekend. I'm sure too. So people can still catch it. I hope this second week, the second frame, as they say, is just as big. I'm going to zero percent drop off. The first movie to have all the people who saw it the first weekend. It used to be movies would go up, up, up, up, up.
Starting point is 00:20:16 I know. You know what I mean? Not anymore. Now we're in retrograde. Yeah. Well, your career is not in retrograde. You are, of course, waxing currently. In theaters now, Blink Twice, we need to take a break.
Starting point is 00:20:30 When we come back, we're going to, we're gonna have a trainer here. Is that exciting? I'm ready to get my body in shape. Okay, here we go. We're gonna take a break. When we come back, we'll have more Hailey Joel Osmond, more Comedy Bang Bang.
Starting point is 00:20:40 We'll be right back after this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Haley Joel Osment is here, of course. Hello. The 25th anniversary of The Sixth Sense. I know that's a lot of math. Some would say, hey, why not do the 24th anniversary? Cause that's four times Sixth Sense. But everyone's celebrating The Sixth Sense.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Of course, this famously within my lore is the first movie date that my wife and I went on. That warms my heart, Scott. And she was- The levels sound great, so whenever you're ready, just hit the record button, let's go. Wait, the record button wasn't? Well, did you want me to hit it?
Starting point is 00:21:21 Yeah. Sorry, I'm sorry I'm late, I missed the whole first act. We're gonna have to use the backup recording for the- Yeah, use the backup recording for what you did with how do before i got we've all been wearing wires because we're involved in various FBI stings yeah i'll talk to the assorted government agencies assorted three letter agencies and get all your. Look, I'm so sorry. I just been caught up with some law enforcement back on Long Island. Wait, Gino, you I'm sorry, everyone. Gino, my you know, have you ever met Gino before? I think we might have crossed over at some point. Yeah, I'm a big fan of yours.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Oh, thank you. I'm a fan of yours, too. Yeah. I love your levels. Yeah, he's my intern on the show occasionally, very occasionally. Yeah, well, I've been trying to really wrap up this degree. If I want to get this associate's an audio record, then maybe I can hire you for real and actually pay occasionally. Yeah, well, I've been trying to really wrap up this degree. If I want to get this associates an audio recording. Then maybe I can hire you for real and actually pay you. Yeah, right. Yeah, who am I kidding?
Starting point is 00:22:11 Who are you fucking kidding? Brett Morris fucking sabotaged my resume last time I tried to apply for a job. Yeah. That little fucking freak. He wants it all for himself. Yeah, he wants all the Boku CBB world bucks, he says. He loves putting on those headphones, just sliding the levels up and down.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Boku Bucks. And then you're like, yeah, I'm going to have Boku partners shipped in from Vietnam. And I'm like, dude, this is fucking weird. I don't know what you're talking about. What were you saying about the law you've been trying to? I got in some hot water with the law enforcement in Nassau County. Nassau County PD is on my fucking case. Why? I don't know if you saw this recently, but they banned masks in Nassau County. Yeah, I saw it. Illegal N95 masks during a post pandemic. I mean, it's a lot like the plot to that Watchmen HBO show where they were like,
Starting point is 00:22:58 masks are illegal. And I was like, what? Yeah. OK, it's a big buy, but suddenly it started happening. It's like- And this fucked me because I have one of the largest collections of the movie about Rocky Dennis. Yeah, right. Mask. Of course, the Eric Stoltz star?
Starting point is 00:23:14 Yes, the Cher star, sorry, in my book. Did she get an Oscar non for that? I'm talking to a fellow Oscar. You know- I'm gonna text her right now. Okay, good. I think Michael Caine beat her out for Cider House rules. Oh, good night, my princes of industry, you fucking weirdos.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Yeah. How does that make you feel to hear those lines again? Oh, I just was transported back because I'm sure that's the clip they played when you went there. Yes, it was a little boy every single time. Which clip do they play of yours? Let me guess. I see that people I probably. But what what I remember is all the Being John Malkovich nominations, they just played her going, I was John Malkovich. There's a better clip from that movie than the title of the movie.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Cameron Diaz. Did you get to say the title, the Sixth Sense in the movie? Like, well, I guess this is more like a sixth sense. No, no one says those words, but yeah, it really does. You forget what movie you're watching. Yeah. Yeah. I like to be constantly reminded. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Yeah, well, M. Night changed that and there's, he gets a, someone gets a titular line in every episode. Oh, it never does someone say, Holy shit, I'm dreaming like a trap. Lady Raven, my next song is called Trap with Josh Hartnett. Does anyone say blink twice in this movie? Yes. Okay, that's exciting.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Yes, they do. Ooh, that's fun. I like that. I'll give that away. So wait, do you know- It reminds me of that movie Don't Breathe, right? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, the movie with the bad guy from Avatar who plays, he's also the-
Starting point is 00:24:40 Yes! That's what I know him from. The party crasher in the hard way. What's that guy's name? G.I. Ravizzi? No, no, yes, he's sort of, you're right. He's sort of the crasher in the hard way. What's that guy's name? G.I. Ravizi? No, no, yes, he's sort of, you're right, he's sort of the architect of the bad stuff that's happening in the pursuit of unobtainable.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Sure, he's the final boss. But who's the Colonel with the scar? Yeah. Who is that actor? What the fuck is that guy's name? I forget it all the time. It confused me because in Avatar, he can actually see people, supposedly.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Yes, and then that's CGI? And don't breathe, he's blind. Yes. Yeah, well no, I then don't breathe. And don't breathe, he's blind. Yes. Yeah. Well, no, I think you can get Lazy to go blind and then actors will get Lazy to come back to life. Oh, okay. Or come back to sight.
Starting point is 00:25:11 Could it be Stephen Lang? Stephen Lang! Yes, yes. Of course. He's also the gossip journalist in the film Manhunter. You know who it talks about. That's right. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:21 What a movie. He's the one who the fucking, what's his name? What's the bad guy's name in there? The Tooth Fairy. Tooth Yeah, yeah. He's the one who the fucking, what's his name? What's the bad guy's name in there? The Tooth Fairy. Tooth Fairy, yeah. Gino, are you a cinephile? Oh, no. I'm just attracted to 17 year olds.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Oh, oh. No, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question. Oh yeah, can you take that out? I'll take that out, I do the editing. Of course, yeah, you do a great job every week. Oh. So what happened with- That's me, I keep it under three hours every week, as requested.
Starting point is 00:25:47 I love that- We leave in all you looking through Google and shit and like leaving all the trailers auto playing. I love that criticism of the editing in Killers of the Flower Moon that like, when it was nominated for an Oscar, they were like, it was three and a half hours long, they didn't do a good job with it.
Starting point is 00:26:01 It's like, you realize editing is more about putting the shots together. Anyway. I released an eight second film just so we can win the Academy Award for best editing. Yes, wow. But there's, it's a winner, so I lost. So tell me about what happened with the mask.
Starting point is 00:26:17 I got arrested, I got arrested trying to leave. I was getting on the Long Island Railroad. I was getting on in Babylon, so I was gonna go like backwards, you know, through Stametyville, Copaig, then Massapequa Park, Massapequa. It's a little harder to do backwards. Then there's Seaford, Wanto, Belmore, Merrick, Freeport, Baldwin, Rockville Center.
Starting point is 00:26:37 And then we got Jamaica after that, and I got caught at Belmore. Is this the Long Island drunk test, by the way, doing these backwards? Yeah, well, no, the Long Island drunk test. There this the Long Island drunk test, by the way, doing these backwards? Yeah, well, no, the Long Island drunk test, there is no Long Island drunk test, honestly. If you get pulled over, the only way you can get a ticket for DWI is if you're drunker than the cop.
Starting point is 00:26:54 And it's almost impossible for that to pull off with the amount of fucking, shh, shh, shh. Imagine someone who lives in Nassau County doesn't have what it takes to be the NYPD. Like, those are who we got as our cops, OK? My cop, one of my friends who's a cop is also my bookie. OK? These guys don't give a fuck about the law. It's like Copland, where there were a lot of police in that town
Starting point is 00:27:16 who were seriously compromised morally. Oh, yeah. And then Superboy Michael Rappaport. He called he goes by Superboy in the thing because he's a hero, but he ends up accidentally shooting that kid in the car and then they hide him out and that's what Sly uncovers. He's in the thing? Hey, you deaf bastard. That's what Harvey Keitel, I think.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I thought that he was Ray Liotta. We got the fucking bangers. Who's the Luther? Who are you talking about? Oh, Michael Rappaport. Michael Rappaport. Are you thinking of Jesse Eisenberg? No, who am I thinking of? Gene Hackman. No, I'm thinking of the TV. The bald guy from Smallville. Small oh, Michael Rappaport. Michael Rappaport. Are you thinking of Jesse Eisenberg? No, who am I thinking of?
Starting point is 00:27:45 Gene Hackman. No, I'm thinking of the TV. The bald guy from Smallville. Oh yeah. The woman from Smallville, I was in like a volleyball crew with her for a long time. Yeah, check out this cool tattoo I got. That's awesome, that looks really awesome.
Starting point is 00:27:57 It's fun, man, you should do it. You just go in a room with a blindfold, different people suck your dick. It's a fucking blast. I love Smallville. That's what Smallville says. She kept saying when I pulled my pants down, she kept saying, welcome back to Smallville.
Starting point is 00:28:10 And I tried to explain to her that it was cold in the room, but she didn't have to wear a ball for that. Gino, you're so funny, you should be on this show. I know we're editing all of this out later. I know, I know. But we can release this on TBB World. Those people gobble up whatever bullshit you throw out there. So tell me, so what happened?
Starting point is 00:28:27 I got arrested because I was wearing a mask on the Long Island River, because I was wearing a Richard Nixon mask because I was going to rob a bank. Oh, okay. So this is preemptive almost. No, well, they don't know that. I guess unless they got a precog working for them.
Starting point is 00:28:42 That's right, a red ball. Oh, red ball. It was pretty complicated. Now I know that, you know, I'm not supposed to talk about Spielberg movies around you because he's one of your mentors, but a minority report is a pretty complicated situation. White balls, red balls,
Starting point is 00:28:58 how are you supposed to keep them straight in your mind? Yeah. You're telling me. I'm trying to juggle these one white ball, one red balls. For fuck's sake. I can't believe thoseuggle these one white ball, one red balls. For fuck's sake, I can't believe those precocks figured all that shit out. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:29:09 We need those. We do, we need to defund the police, but fund the precocks. Yes, and then there should be like one policeman who just goes out and arrest people. Oh yeah, it should be Sting. Yes. I think there'd be some- He'll be like, hey, don't stand so close to me.
Starting point is 00:29:24 There'd be some confusion with like, you know, Sting's operations, you know, and oh, yeah, it's like this is a sting sting. Maybe he's running this thing. Sting, you just changed. Who's on that? Gordon. Yeah. Call me Gordon. Commissioner Gordon, Commissioner Gordon. We love this fucking God. God, he doesn't play Commissioner Gordon in the next Batman movie.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Let me ask you a quick question. How do you know Sting's real name is Gordy? Me? It's because of Dana Carvey's Critics Choice stand-up special from 1994. What did he do? Call me Sting. Yeah, right, Gordy. You don't know the Critics Choice stand-up special
Starting point is 00:29:57 my art? Mega Cha, Mega Chi, Mega Chu, Mega Chi. Every time I click my finger, 1995 for you. Ah, I love it. Edo has three letters. God has three letters. There's a whole 20 minute chunk where he does impressions of everyone that's involved in the OJ case.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Oh, fantastic. That's really fun. And he does do Johnny Cochran playing some jazz trumpet. So there's some elements that's David. Yeah, maybe we'd have to be taken out now, but hey. Back then. Chopping broccoli. You can't chop broccoli anymore because of Woke Agenda.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Yes. Elon banned chopping broccoli on Twitter. Did he really? Oh, he calls it X. All right, well he calls it broccoli still, but he calls Twitter X. Because you can put Xs for anything, it's the variable. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:30:35 You could sign your name as X and people have to take it. Ooh, shit, racer X, that's what I'm gonna call myself. Yes. So tell me, so you were about to rob a bank as Richard Nixon. I was wearing Richard Nixon, well, because I was going surfing with a couple of freaks these guys these weird guys One guy who kind of like is my guru of sorts and then another guy who played college football for a year before he blew His ACL out, but this is all on the Long Island beaches And you know I get caught up in the scene and next thing I know I'm kind of like trapped in a situation in which
Starting point is 00:31:03 I need to participate in this robbery. But I get arrested before I even get there for wearing a fucking mask. The irony is not lost. So they take my Richard Nixon mask off. Underneath, my face is painted green, like the mask. What? Is that illegal too? That turns out, I was like, this is not a mask.
Starting point is 00:31:18 This is face paint, but they're like, it is the mask. So, yeah. So in any case, you were arrested, you're back, everything's good now. How many times have you been arrested? This is the first time I was arrested for the mask shit, but I've been arrested before for public urination, public defecation, private defecation, and private.
Starting point is 00:31:35 How were you arrested for private defecation? Well, I guess they called it trespassing because it was a different person's bathroom. Oh, I see, okay. Oh, and then there was a destruction of corporate property, corporate property when I defecated in a home depot in one of the toilets, but not in the men's room. It's so confusing when they're out there. It's like, yeah, no shit. Especially when you're trying to wash your ass in the shower, there's no water
Starting point is 00:31:58 hooked up to it. I honestly think that it must happen more often than we even know about. I feel like there was a kid, someone recently did panel and talked about doing that as a kid. I think it was Donald Glover and Eric Andre called him out on it. I'm going to look up how many times do people shit in Home Depot toilets and see what comes up. Famously, it was either in the early Jackass video or the precursor, CKY, why do I know all this?
Starting point is 00:32:28 Danger Aaron goes to shit in a Home Depot toilet, but he's worried that he's not gonna be able to shit when he's under the pressure. So he takes some laxatives and then he shits himself right as they pull up to Home Depot in the van. In the car, right? And then they're all throwing up. That one is brutal to watch.
Starting point is 00:32:45 There is a Reddit thread devoted to this. Some people say, I can't go on Reddit, because when I go on Reddit, everyone's like, this Gino guy fucking sucks. I know it's free that I listen to it, but I hate this guy. This says our toilet displays are six feet off the ground
Starting point is 00:32:59 and angled downward, so it would be difficult to do so. I think Home Depot has started putting them up. They're putting the toilets higher and higher, making it just more and more of a fucking challenge, if you ask me. We gotta get Wemby in there doing a fucking hover shit. WebMD? What? Yeah, we gotta get WebMD.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Well, Wemby is my online doctor. Oh, is it? Oh, okay. Wembynana. Wembynana. Yeah. I don't know what that is. Hasta manana, webbynana. He's a giant basketball player.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Oh, is he? Super big. And he's considered enormous for basketball players. That's how big this motherfucker is. Is he akin to a Dikembe? He's a Dikembe adjacent. He's bigger than Dikembe. He's better.
Starting point is 00:33:37 He's got, he's a big. Really? Yeah. But he's not better with the, ah, ah, ah, the shaking of the finger. No, who is? Only Mr. Matumbo can do that. I know.
Starting point is 00:33:44 I feel like he should have bequeathed it to someone. I'm trying to get a peacock series of me and Wemby to rival Mr. Throwback. Oh yeah. You got a little Stephen Curry. Well, I got fucking Wemby. Yeah. You got Adam Pally from what? Making history.
Starting point is 00:34:00 No, you got fucking Gino Lombardo from the comedy bang bang. Who is history? Who's yeah, I'm history, I'm social studies, I'm whatever the fuck you need me to be, baby. Wow, well, I mean, Gino, I'm glad you're here, and it's, I mean, I know it was a long road to get here, but I appreciate you being here. It's the least, it's literally the least I could do.
Starting point is 00:34:19 I know, yeah, I've even, I've missed the whole first act, so I'm glad you were able to record it. You didn't like autoplay trailers on your laptop or anything because we talked about how rude that is to do and you know I guess no, I don't think I don't I never do it when I big guess don't worry You see any movies lately I've seen a fuck ton of movies I actually saw a drugstore June which ha Joe is also Yeah, we're forecasting that one yeah, that's that's a bit of a discus. Yeah, we're forecasting that one. Yeah, that was that was a fun one. I've seen I've seen a lot of movies lately.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Are you watching Bad Monkey with Vince Vaughn on Apple? I I it's not a movie, but who can tell these days you just click on something and something starts playing and you go, I hope this is a movie because I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:35:00 And then it's like, fuck, there's seven more hours of it. I did watch that. What do you call it? They call Farrell show on the Apple TV. Sugar. Did you make it to the turn? I made it all the way to the end, just because I knew the turn from literally minute three
Starting point is 00:35:16 or something like that. Oh, that's so funny, because I watched the whole thing and did not pick up on all of it. I was just like, this show is making some weird choices. And then in episode six, spoiler for all those sugar heads out there. Yeah, turn it off right now if you're gonna see Sugar. I don't suggest you do.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Yeah, you don't have to. But this is not compulsory to watch Sugar. In a show that for six episodes has been a kind of L.A. noir story about the entertainment industry, in episode six, our main character, Colin Farrell, peels his face off to reveal to be an alien. What? You know, he injects himself with something that shuts down his facial hiding and it's Episode six, our main character, Colin Farrell, peels his face off to reveal to be an alien. You know, he injects himself with something that shuts down his facial hiding
Starting point is 00:35:49 and it's revealed that he's an alien. Only a couple of weird things have happened that would make you think he might be an alien. Oh well, I mean, constant weird things that I picked up on very early, I think. But some of us are just caught up in the program and just get lost in it, yeah. What a twist.
Starting point is 00:36:03 A true surprise. Honestly, it made me not watch the rest and just getting lost in it. Yeah. What a twist. A true surprise. Honestly, maybe not watch the rest. If I'm being honest. I gotta go back. I gotta find out what happens to Shubha. My whole thing is- Cause you're gonna do like six more seasons of that show for sure.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Make that minute one. Thank you. You know what I mean? Like if you're- Get rid of this 5.99 episodes. Which are just kind of boring and like, you know, like leading you, like giving, dropping hints and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Just make a minute one and then we can get on with our lives, you know what I mean? For fuck's sake, for fuck's sake, I'm so tired of this shit. Just get, just start Game of Thrones with the ice dragon dying. This whole, this whole new episode. Just start Tony Soprano in the diner, ordering onion rings, getting fucking died.
Starting point is 00:36:43 This whole new, what's it, Game of Thrones show, what is it called? House of Dragon? House of Dragon, this whole second season was just about people like... More like House of Dragon, D-R-A-G-G-I-N apostrophe. Thank you, it's just about people going like... Sometimes I do jokes that I think you would do
Starting point is 00:36:56 just to cut you off at the past. Sure, that's one I would do. No, you probably wouldn't have thought of that. But it's all just about like, the first season was like, uh-oh, war's coming. Then this season, they're like, hey, let's get ready for war. We're a little closer to war than we thought we were. All right, we'll be back in two and a half years with season three, where a thing happens. Well, we have to take a break before we get to the trainer, if that's okay. I need a trainer.
Starting point is 00:37:21 When we... Oh, really? What's going on? Your health suffering? Yeah, I need to put on some weight. I need to put on some weight. I fell in between the train cars again. No, mind the gap, do you know? I wish, but my gap jeans got shredded. Fall into the gap more like. Is that one of those jokes that you think that I would make?
Starting point is 00:37:37 The one you just made? Oh yeah. Yeah, except you're using the word joke. Which I wouldn't for that sentence you said. Well, look, we have to take this break. Fine. When we come back, we're gonna have a trainer. We're gonna have more with Hayley Joel Osmond.
Starting point is 00:37:50 You know, I guess stick around and chime in. Yeah, I'll keep it to a minimum. To a minimum, yeah. I'll keep the mums to a min. Okay, great. When we come back, we'll have a trainer. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Brett, insert an ad here.
Starting point is 00:38:01 with more Comedy Bang Bang after this? Brett, insert an ad here. Okay. No, no, no. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Comedy Bang Bang, we're back here. Haley Joel Osment, of course, 25th anniversary of the Sixth Sense. Is it in theaters again? Or are people just supposed to be like, oh yeah, it was great. I don't believe so. 25 years ago.
Starting point is 00:38:21 We can't, we, night can't double up cause Trap is also in theaters. He can't eat his own lunch. Yeah, yeah. The Ouroboros of movies going on. Yeah, too bad. Well, you know, but we can't, we night can't double up cause trap is also in the movie. He can't eat his own lunch. Yeah, yeah. And the Ouroboros of movies going on. Yeah, too bad. Well, you know, but we can all like sit around thinking about it and going like, yeah, that was cool.
Starting point is 00:38:31 I want everybody listening to this right now to sit back and reflect for 25 minutes every day for a week. And you know what? Your life's gonna get better. One minute for every year. Just think about every year that succeeded the Sixth Sense for one minute. 2006, 2001.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Oh, there's a lot of great years in there. 2011. Yeah, ooh. Remember that? Ooh, fuck yeah. 2016. 2016? Ooh, that was one of my favorite years.
Starting point is 00:38:55 That's the year Don't Breathe came out. Yeah. 2020, oh, my favorite year. God, so much happened. I have a quick question before we get to the trainer. I've always wanted to ask you this. Yes. Do you still see dead people?
Starting point is 00:39:08 Did you ever see a dead person as part of like method acting or art influencing life? We toured several morgues, you know, and they're just like, look at this. Oh, not ghosts or anything, but you just saw a lot of dead bodies as a child actor? You need to have a baseline so that when ghosts appear. You're not as scared of them.
Starting point is 00:39:26 I'm not. But now I don't know who's dead and alive at all. Like my compass has been completely thrown off. By the way, I mentioned this on a previous show. I want to do a Cobra Kai style show with you where you play your character all grown up and it's irritating to you that you're still seeing dead people.
Starting point is 00:39:40 Perfect. And you're just like a private detective and you're just like. Mr. Butterfingers or what's the the you and McGregor one about the shining? What's that one? Yeah, it's the Danny. Mr. Dr. Dr. Sleep. Dr. Sleep.
Starting point is 00:39:55 His cousin is Mr. Butterfingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what is dropping the what's your character's name in that in that thing? Cole Sear. Oh, that's right. Sear. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, when you read that,ar. Yeah. Oh, with an A. When you read that, were you just like, come on, can we change the name of this guy? No, I didn't know that vocabulary word yet.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Change? Change, yeah. Everything had been the same in my life. And that's when you made the proclamation that I don't want my characters to ever have a last name again. Exactly. Yeah, all mononyms. Big stink on double-plank twice.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Cher, Sting, Gordon, it's all one. Anyway, I need to do the show with you. I need you to write most of it. Okay. Is that cool? I can do that. I'll just take half the credit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:33 We're all, I'll take all. I love that, the Habitat method. Friend of the show. From Long Island, never called me. We need to get to our next guest. We can't talk about these subject matters forever. They're a trainer. This is very interesting.
Starting point is 00:40:50 I'm sure we're gonna get a lot of tips on how to keep our bodies up and how to keep our fitness levels at where we want them to be. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Ember Chuckett. Geodude, I choose you. Geodude, come on.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Okay, well maybe, okay, we'll maybe pop out a little bit later. Hey, Scott! Hey, what, I'm sorry, what were you just saying? Well, I was trying to get Geodude to make an appearance and I think he's gonna take a little bit of time in the ball. That's crazy, we were talking about red balls and white balls and you got a red and white ball here.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Wait a second. This is fucking nuts. Are you a pre-cock? No. I choose you thing. I think I know what this is. Is this, this is more Pokemon stuff? More? More Pokemon stuff.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Yeah, well Dash Grabham, who's on the show a lot is. Oh, right. And I'm Ember Chucket. Yeah. I know Dash for sure. You know Dash? You're another Pokemon trainer? I'm Dash for sure. You know Dash? You're another Pokemon trainer?
Starting point is 00:41:46 I'm another Pokemon trainer. Oh no. Scott, I sent you such a long email about this and you said Pokemon and I said yeah. It was like four pages. I confess I don't read these. We had a six email back and forth. Oh no. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:04 So you're Ember Chucket. Yeah. Okay, and you're a Pokemon drainer. Yeah. All right, tell us about yourself. Tell you about myself. How come Geodude, you said his name was Geodude that's in the ball?
Starting point is 00:42:18 Oh, it's Geodude, yeah. That's like a rock with arms, right? Yeah, it's a rock with arms. And listen, we're becoming quite close friends. And so I'm from the Kanto region and sort of- Oh, so Stash. Wait, you know what region the other guy's from? You didn't even read the email from-
Starting point is 00:42:34 He's been on so many times, and he talks about the Kanto region all the time. What's Stash's thing again? Well, let me read you his bio from the, he's a 12 year old Pokemon trainer from the Kanto region Well, there's the first difference. I'm 11 All right a little fresher take yeah, I mean he's he's only been on six times sir You are covered in olive oil. Oh, yeah, sorry. I have to lube up that was the only way they could pull me out of the subway
Starting point is 00:43:00 I was trapped in between the two rail cars. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. It's been great and now I find that this it works wonders on my skin so I hit myself and now there's only that's the only thing that's extra virgin about me. But stop deflecting to him what's your thing? Well what's Dash's thing again? I understand if you have to go. I don't think so but let's double check. I mean, I, I, yeah. What's your thing? Yeah, we have the comedy bang bang book over there. He has about six pages devoted to it. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:43:31 I love that book. Oh, really? Thanks for reading it. My name is Ember Chuckett. Your name is Ember Chuckett. Ember Chuckett. Ember Chuckett. I'm 11 years old and from the Kanto region.
Starting point is 00:43:43 I'm not going to talk about that at all, I promise. OK, all right. Ember Chuckie. I'm 11 years old. I'm from the Kanto region. I'm not going to talk about that at all. I promise. Okay. All right. So here's the thing is there's a new pilot program that Professor Oak is, um, is launching. Professor who now? Oak.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Oak. Oh, okay. Did Dash not tell you about Professor Oak? Uh, no, I guess he's never mentioned Professor Oak. He was doing things like, uh, I think he captured, uh, Andy Richter and turned, you know, turned him into a Pokemon or something like that. Oh, I see. Not me. I'd never do that. I'm more of a spokesperson.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Do you want to reintroduce me as a spokesperson? Oh, yeah. Please welcome a spokesperson, Ember Chuckett. Come on, Geodude, get out here. Okay. Geodude just needs a second. I keep thinking you're saying Geodude and I keep getting ready to do whatever you ask me to do.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Okay, well that would be huge actually because I'm here to sort of tell you about a pilot program that Professor Oak is running. So you've heard of Pokedexes, right? Sure, yes, we talked about these with Dash. Okay, well why don't you get Dash on the phone and maybe Dash can tell you about this program then. No, no, no, he's not here.
Starting point is 00:44:35 I want to hear about this program. They have a new pilot function, which is we can communicate with the Pokemon in the Pokeballs with the Pokedexes. So they can sort of tell us their thoughts and feelings and also there's wireless connection. Oh, that's so cool. I know that Dash, we talked about them when they're in the Pokedexes. So they can sort of tell us their thoughts and feelings and also there's wireless connection. Oh, that's so cool. I know that Dash, we talked about them
Starting point is 00:44:48 when they're in the Pokedexes and he says they're not sentient, but then I think we figured out they are. So this is good, we can communicate with them now. Okay, so this has been really an interesting thing. So my Geodude here is the first one that's been able to have sort of wireless access and sort of communicate back and forth with me
Starting point is 00:45:02 and tell me how he's feeling. How's he feeling then? That's so cool. So it started out sort of kind of fun where with me and tell me how he's feeling. How's he feeling then? That's so cool. So it started out sort of kind of fun where I'm like, how are you doing? And, and you do would be like, good. And that was really, really fun. And then he sort of was able to get on the internet and then sort of had a couple of questions like, hey, who are you? And I was like, I'm Amber. And he's like, okay, but why are you? And I was like, I'm Ember. And he's like, okay, but why are you? And I was like, oh.
Starting point is 00:45:26 That's a heavy question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So sort of like really rapidly sort of gaining existential thoughts, which has been a little bit cheeky for me. And then- That could be worse because when I first got the internet, I was printing up new JPEGs of bodybuilders and cranking off to them. So- Okay, fun, which one? Oh, it was China, of course, the wrestler. Huge clit, that's nobody's business here. So that's sort of what Geno Dude was up to,
Starting point is 00:45:54 and what Geodude was up to was going, am I gonna die? And I sort of was like, oh, probably one day we all die. And then Geodude was like, can I die now? And I was sort of like, oh, um, I feel maybe a little ill-equipped, but I can tell you about some of the fun features. We got free Spotify premium accounts for all of the Pokemon. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Wasn't super interested in talking about that though. Uh, and then it sort of got a little bit weird where, uh, Geodude was sort of like, was 9-11 a real thing?
Starting point is 00:46:25 And I was sort of like, oh! The algorithm is maybe fucking with you. Yeah. Yeah, so, and I was sort of, I sort of had to explain like, yes, it was a real thing and it was a tragedy. And then Geodude was sort of like, I don't think it was a real thing. Okay, so he's fallen down a YouTube rabbit hole here.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Yeah. He's being radicalized inside his Pokeball? I think so, it's sort of being red balled, you know, inside of inside of the Poke ball. Much like I was when I was on these trailers and apparently there are women in China who want to meet me. Speaking of China. I've never been red bald or black bald, but I've been bald. Yeah. What do you mean? I've gotten the train run on me. Yeah. This is consensually. This is an 11 year old. Oh, right. You know, these details confuse me. No, I know about that. And I'm just happy it was more in the metaphorical sense
Starting point is 00:47:08 rather than in the literal sense. Because you did slip between sort of the great there. Oh yeah, I almost got like pinned where I would have to have someone come say goodbye to me before I died a la. Like in science. Like in science, holy shit. They cut the scene where he starts covering her
Starting point is 00:47:21 with olive oil in the last two cuts. Cause they would have rescued her and then that would have been a big loophole. I'd be like, you want Joaquin to swing away, but his mom is alive because they used olive oil on him? It would have been so tough, so tricky. Amber, is Geodude scheduled to evolve at any point? Well, it doesn't really, does it work like that?
Starting point is 00:47:40 It doesn't? How's it work? Oh, you're asking me. Well, I think sort of in my sense of things. I mean, we talked to Dash about a lot of this, but how's it work? Oh, you're asking me. Well, I think sort of in my sense of things. I mean, we talked to Dash about a lot of this, but how's it work? What's your understanding of how it works? Hey Scott, why don't you get Dash on the phone?
Starting point is 00:47:49 I don't know how to reach Dash. If Dash knows everything about Pokemon, maybe Dash can sort of figure out what's happening with Geodude right now, because I'm sort of at a loss, you know what I mean? I listen to Ember's WTF episode. You don't hear her bring it up. Marc Maron asked me the same question.
Starting point is 00:47:59 That's a good point. Do you mean that? You listen to that episode? I listened to that episode. You had a brutal childhood that hasn't ended yet. Yeah. My mom said, you gotta go be a Pokemon trainer for the family.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Is that what happens in the Kanto region? Are you raised to be Pokemon trainers? Well, sort of normally you choose to go be a Pokemon trainer. And my mom sort of said, you gotta get out of the house now because I got a stepdad that's moving in. Pokemon trainer, I choose that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:23 What you have to say. How does that feel to be supplanted by your stepfather? Well, for me, I feel like it sort of gave me a world insight into what the Pokemon are dealing with. They didn't ask to be in the ball. That's a good point. Sort of his Geodude has let me know on several occasions. And Geodude said he'll come out of the ball
Starting point is 00:48:38 for an appearance fee. And so I'm sort of looking for a small part-time job. Oh, OK. Well, this is the wrong place if Geodude's trying to make money. Well, that's, I mean, how much of an appearance fee does Geodude, is that his name? Yeah, he keeps saying,
Starting point is 00:48:55 I don't get out of the ball for less than 10K, which is like a little bit cheeky. Wow, holy shit. At an 11, sort of on a work permit, I guess I can make $8 an hour in California, so. That's good. Did we just change the laws so you could make that? I don't know, Scott.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Maybe get Dash on the phone and ask him. I don't know that he knows about labor laws necessarily. I mean, so. He knows a lot about Pokemon. He said unless I can figure out an appearance fee, he's gonna go on that RFK cruise. Oh, man. But Shazam's gonna be on the cruise.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Scott, you're just asking me to go on that. I mean, you know, it's cheaper if we share a cabin. I know. Way up Marina. Yeah, he was a big fan of Meta World Peace. I wanted to go on that. He was pretty excited about getting a photo with that. He said he's gonna do a Mr. Throwback with Meta World Peace.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Oh man. That's gonna be huge. Another competition, throw another one in the hopper. Peacock better have their fucking checkbooks ready. Hopefully they have at least 10K for an appearance for you geodude is never getting out of that ball i wanted to go on that cruise because i heard there is going to be an awesome gym on it but apparently you have to wear jeans when you work out yeah they got a pretty cool pokey gym on there too oh yeah yeah wait and how does a pokey gym work uh is it all raw fish? That's what they call a vaccine clinic on there.
Starting point is 00:50:06 They have one? Yeah, you gotta knock out the doctor. And you get a badge. Send in Geodude to fight the doctor. Mr. Fauci, I choose you. Oh, I'm in so deep. I would love it if Mr. Fauci would play the doctor. Doctor who? Do you think? If you were like the 15th Doctor, that would be so rad. That wouldn't get, based on how people reacted with a black doctor, I'm very curious how they'll go for Fauci as the Doctor Who. Doctor Who?
Starting point is 00:50:34 Hang on a few more years, Doctor. Yeah, it's Doctor, comma, who, question mark. Oh, Scott, I'm in so far over my head. I get it, but you know, it's never too early to work to make an honest living. My only goal was I literally was just supposed to go make personal appearances and talk about how cool this new polka feature was on the Pokedex.
Starting point is 00:50:55 And this is Master Oak, who did this? Master Oak? Teacher Oak? Who's this guy? Professor Oak. Professor Oak. He sort of was like me. Master Oak is what I call Steve Aoki when he's training me in martial arts.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Ah, thank you, Master Oak. Your pizza is awful. Is he doing pizzas? Yes, he does ghost kitchen pizzas. Well, again, why do I know all this? People say it's because I'm on the spectrum. We have spectrum. it's always out. Oh, mine's out.
Starting point is 00:51:26 Oh man. Roy G. Biv. That's a different spectrum. So Professor Oakes sent you out here to talk about this. Genders. What? Gender, sexuality, these are all spectrums, I'm thinking. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Okay, sorry, I wasn't listening anymore. You're just pulling off vocab words off of a calendar. Yes, this is my spectrum of day calendar. You're only on May 11th. I know, it's hard to find the rest. Gotta catch up them all. Yeah, that's what I was referring to. I got a lot of side businesses, so thank you for supporting the calendar.
Starting point is 00:51:57 So, I mean, Geodude doesn't wanna come out now? I mean, I would think he'd be happy, he or she. I don't know what Geodude, speaking of gender. Just say they, it's safer. Okay. No, you can't do that with Geodude. Oh, really? Oh, he's hard binary? Well, he said that his pronouns are Amara and Can. Oh, no. You know what? I'm glad to hear pronoun jokes. I think they're still funny. I think everyone has a good take on them. Yeah. Gino, I'm 11. I know. I'm doing my best here.
Starting point is 00:52:27 No, no, no. I'm referencing Geodude's pronoun joke. I like it. Okay, well, what do you think his pronoun joke should have been, Gino? I didn't say it. I said I liked it. Pitch on his pronoun joke, Geode. That feels like you're reflecting.
Starting point is 00:52:43 And that's honestly, that's what Dash does. I am reflecting. I'm reflecting how awesome this Poke app is that I'm supposed to be promoting here. OK, so so have you tried it on any of the other Pokemon? No, but I'm a little bit scared now. I have a side duck with me and I'm a little bit scared to give him the phone. OK, yeah. A side side duck. What? Side duck.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Side. That's a duck you fuck behind your wife's back. I got a side duck side that's a duck you fuck behind your wife's back. I Got a side duck Do you want to try it on the side duck? I guess I'm a little bit bright Is this we say in our open marriage where enm so we say Polly wanna quack Well, don't worry I cracked the window and left a bunch of bread on the floor. You can't give them bread. What? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:29 No, I'm trying to foie gras this bitch. No, that's so bad. It's twisted. This thing's insatiable. I'm a mandatory reporter to Professor Oak. This is going to be trouble for you. Jesus Christ. I'm going to get pokey detention again. Okay,. I'm gonna get Pokey detention again.
Starting point is 00:53:45 Okay, so I'm gonna give him the phone, but I'm a little bit scared because see, when Geodude was first around and we first sort of got buddied up, he was really cool and really smart. And he would be like, we got this, we're friends. And now sort of he's planning a lot of bad ideas for some of the other Pokemons
Starting point is 00:54:00 who used to be sequestered in his Pokeball. I can't even send him to daycare anymore. Are they all in there together? Is it like prison where they all have individual cells? No, Scott, they all have their own Pokeballs. Oh, they do. Okay, I'm sorry, we talked about this with Dash, but I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:54:11 Is it some sort of extra dimensional space or do they shrink down to fit inside the ball or is it sort of like a magical bag of holding or something like that? I like to think of it sort of like a room. Oh, okay. Like the movie? Like the movie room. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Yeah, if they can trick me. They can get out. All right. Well, let's get this guy on the horn. All right. Here we go. So I'm just going to sort of, I'm going to zap it into the ball and then sort of on my Poke device, we can see sort of what Psyduck is up to. That's how this works. Being techs back and forth. Yeah. Okay. So here we go. Technology. So the phone got sucked into the Poke ballball as I'm probably sure you know from Dash. Oh yeah. He would suck things in his all the time. Okay. Okay. It's not that kind of show. Okay. Here we go. So, hey Psyduck, how you doing? What's he saying? He's saying quack quack quack. This is so fun. That's just like him. Psyay. Okay, that's really cute. How are you feeling today? He said, good.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Okay, that's really nice. That's so great. Okay, and then what should we ask him? What should we ask him? Hey, how many Pokemon are in there with you? Okay, I know the answer is one, but we'll ask anyway. How many Pokemon are in there with you? Well, you only have two Pokemon?
Starting point is 00:55:23 Huh? You only have two? No, I've got six. But they each have in there with you? Well, you only have two Pokemon? Huh? You only have two? No, I've got six. But they each have their own individual balls. Oh, okay. It's imagine your testicles each have just one big sperm in them. Oh, thank you, Gino.
Starting point is 00:55:34 That's what I like to think of. Okay, I'm getting three dots and the three dots are going away. You up? What? You up. What is this? Yeah, I'm awake.
Starting point is 00:55:43 That's how I'm texting you. Okay, and then he's saying, You up. What is this? Yeah, I'm awake. That's how I'm texting you. Okay. And then he's saying, okay, I don't think that Jeff Ullo could melt steel beams. Not the steel beams. Immediately to the steel beams? So this is really tricky, just kind of immediately. So this is sort of an issue. And I said, I told Professor Ock, maybe we should cut off the internet access.
Starting point is 00:55:59 And he said, no, that's the point. And I said, what's the point? I don't really understand. Well, there is like an argument to be made that they're gonna enter the world in which the internet exists. So maybe getting that to get them acclimated to it. But it seems like being a lonely Pokemon
Starting point is 00:56:14 with access to the internet could cause you to go down a certain path. I'm sort of worried that this is like the dogs with the buttons. Have you seen those TikToks about the dogs with the buttons? Kill me, kill me. You must kill me.
Starting point is 00:56:25 The one I watch is always just hammering. I don't know why they gave him a kill me button. Please kill me. It almost seems like he was trading that way. Oh man. Maybe it's the speed at which they're going through the internet. It seems like they're getting to these conspiracy theories
Starting point is 00:56:43 so quickly. Maybe if you slowed it down a little bit. Slow down the internet. Yeah, maybe if you throttled the internet. Yeah, do Spectrum. Oh, May 12th. Oh, perfect. I can't wait to be done with this calendar. I'm reading it like a book. I wonder what happens on December 31st. The zebra did it. That's when I read the dictionary.
Starting point is 00:57:03 This is so tricky, because here's the thing is, so I said I needed a part-time job. And so I'm getting paid via the amount of phones that I can sell to these different Pokemon trainers. Well, I mean, we could definitely try to sell one to Dash. Buy one, Scott buy one. I'm not a Pokemon trainer. You could be.
Starting point is 00:57:20 I found it to be kind of confusing and- Pokemon training? Yeah. When Dash tried to explain it to you? Honestly, yes. Well, what about when Ember tries to explain it to be kind of confusing and- Pokemon training? Yeah. When Dash tried to explain it to you? Honestly, yes. Well, what about when Ember tries to explain it to you? Maybe I'll make it way simpler and you'll be like, oh, that's so fun.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Okay, go ahead. See how you do it. Okay, so when you're 11 years older, for you, I guess 40. Up, up, up. No, I know he dresses a certain way, but you gotta go way higher. Okay, so I guess for you, you're starting your journey when you're 83,
Starting point is 00:57:47 and that's really exciting. Oh, come on now. So Pokemon is for everybody. Basically what you do is you get to pick a starter Pokemon. Usually there's three options. For me, there was a couple more. I got to pick Geodude. I'm out already.
Starting point is 00:57:56 I don't understand. No, come on, Scott. This is just confusing as dash. Oh, Scott, how about this? Are the PokeFones better than Mighty Mobile Sidekick? Probably. I could sell PokeF phones to normal people. Yes Legally you have to be a Pokemon so we'll have to give you a Pokemon name and a Pokemon power
Starting point is 00:58:10 But that's okay. I could just go Gino Gino, well, what's your power? What do you do? Um, I'm a I'm a penis type Pokemon a penis type Pokemon Are they tight? Oh, no weak to fire A penis type Pokemon? Are they types? Oh, no. It's weak to fire. Well, um. Just like my real penis.
Starting point is 00:58:28 My real penis can handle the cold. I don't know why I'm telling an 11 year old this, but it cannot handle fire. Age works differently. Ice is ineffective against the penis type. Age is different in the Poke universe. Oh, really? All right, what does consist there?
Starting point is 00:58:40 We're so much younger compared to human race. Oh, no. Okay, no, that's bad. That's bad. Okay, well, here you go. Here's a bad thing. We're dealing with it. OK, well, here you go. Here's your phone, and you can only text me. What?
Starting point is 00:58:48 That's sort of the thing, is that I'm sort of the pinpoint trainer, so you can only text me. And then I can get you to look up movie times or the weather in Malibu before I drive to the beach? I'll sort of forward it to the appropriate audience. Oh, OK. And wait, does he have to go into a Pokeball as well? Yeah, here you go.
Starting point is 00:59:01 Oh, great. Holy shit. Oh, Gino just went away. He's in a Pokeball now? Here, contact him. Okay. So I'll do voice to text. So, hey Gino, how's it going in there?
Starting point is 00:59:16 Wonderful. Okay, do you need anything? I'm fine. Okay, well you have access to the internet, also um if you need me to do anything for you you just let me know. I'm seeing a stepmother stuck under a coffee table right now. You're seeing a stepmother stuck under a coffee table? He's already on the internet. Our stepson seems to be very excited by this. Oh no I know exactly where this is going. Oh no. Sorry to bring up step parents to you ember look at the woman stomping on the grapes Sorry that was the grape fruiting video look up Batman begin
Starting point is 00:59:58 Batman begin is a recent meme. Oh god. This is sewing going so poorly I Can't visualize anything kill me No anything. Kill me please. Oh no. He's already hitting the kill me button. Get him out of it. Can you let him out? Geo, I choose you. Dran Queen shouldn't read to kids. I'm sorry. Christ thank God I got out of there just in time. It was like Tron but for white guys. I just simply, so it is the phone that's turning you. Tron is for white guys. Tron's for everybody. Okay alright all right, all right, whatever you say. It's by white guys. Even the new one that's coming out? Oh, I don't know about that one. I'm bummed to see Daft Punk's not part of it, but I'm happy to see that.
Starting point is 01:00:31 Jared Leto's a part of it. Trenton Atticus, yeah, 30 Seconds to Mars. That's a fast trip. Too fast. Yeah, yes, me. 30 Seconds to Mars and one second to figure out that 9-Eleven was an inside job. It's so crazy in these Pokeballs here. It's crazy in these, I, maybe they shouldn't exist.
Starting point is 01:00:46 I mean- The phones? Well, I mean- I saw a bunch of middle Eastern guys celebrating in New Jersey right after. No, you didn't see that. I didn't, the internet, it got me so fucked up. No, it's not Gino's fault, it's the Poke,
Starting point is 01:00:59 it's the Pokephones. Honestly, if you wear a mask, you're a criminal. I honestly feel like, and we have these kind of ethical, moral conundrums with Dash, one of our favorite guests. Oh my God, if you love Dash so much, why don't you marry him? But maybe these things shouldn't exist.
Starting point is 01:01:14 Maybe these creatures shouldn't be trapped in these balls. Do you think? Yeah. What's the level of agency on Geodude? Is he like a fish brain or is he more like a human brain? It's got like rocks for brains. It's got rocks for brains. Okay, well I think you can keep him as a pet if you want.
Starting point is 01:01:33 No, I think Scott's right. I'm gonna press the kill button and I'm gonna release every single Pokemon that's in. The kill button? You're gonna kill them first? It's a kill Pokemon, it's a kill Pokemon button. So if I press it, we're gonna release all of the Pokemon
Starting point is 01:01:45 into the wild. Into the earth. Into the wild. And we're gonna get a real life Mewtwo? We're gonna get a real life Mewtwo? I guess. Sorry. What was that?
Starting point is 01:01:55 Sorry, I just, her frame is wonderful. How do you spell Mewtwo? Meow-teo. Meow-teo. Wait, do you see the color? Oh, hell truck. I got it. She got dumped like a truck. Sorry, miss. Truck, do you see the truck on this? She got dumped. Sorry, miss.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Truck, truck. I'm like, what? OK, I'm going to do it. I'm going to release all the Pokemon into the wild. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. OK, here we go.
Starting point is 01:02:15 These Pokemon that have been in captivity their entire life, some of which created, have never known anything except for human kindness and have been in balls for their whole life. We provided all of the food and all of the shelter, and they are... released. Oh! Yee-hee-hee-hee!
Starting point is 01:02:31 What the hell was that? Whoa, a falcon already came and ate like three of them. I don't think they're ready for predators. They're definitely not. They have no way to board. Two of them just drowned. Two fire types ran right... Charmander ran right into the water and drowned. Oh, no, one of them ran into my fireplace, too. Oh, no. Squ ran into my fireplace too. Oh no. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Scrum the penis type Pokemon. Get away from the fireplace. Oh no, Scott, what have you done? Oh, they're dead, they're all dead, they're all dead. If only we had some way to communicate to them from the other side. Ah. I think she's gonna try to sell us another phone.
Starting point is 01:03:00 Yeah. I'm not falling for it. Wait, let me take a look at that though. This, the phone? Yeah. Well, here you go. Yeah, I'm not falling for it. Wait, let me take a look at that though. This is the phone? Yeah. Well, here you go. Yeah, this is not bad actually.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Yeah, we run through T-Mobile. Oh yeah, oh cool. That's my favorite. It's a Pokedex, but we do run through T-Mobile. This is actually not a bad looking phone. All right, I'll take it. Do you mean it? Yeah, why not?
Starting point is 01:03:18 Okay, you have to be sucked into a Pokeball in order to use it. I'm fine with that. Okay. All right, where do I go? Huh, well here you go, ready? Whoa. And now we can communicate to Scott via voice notes.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Hey Scott, how you doing in there? Hello, how are you? Pretty good, how are you feeling? I'm feeling all right. Okay, do you need anything? Can I do anything for you? Vaccines cause autism. Oh my God. Oh shit, he's on Jenny McCarthy's blog. Okay, do you need anything? Can I do anything for you? Vaccines cause autism.
Starting point is 01:03:49 Oh shit, he's on Jenny McCarthy's blog. Batman begin, Batman begin. What do you call it when you do something over and over again expecting a different outcome? Insanity. Insanity. Oh no. Oh no, now he's, oh that's not as big as Wendy, if you ask me.
Starting point is 01:04:01 He's back in like 2011 Twitter. Sickos. I'm gonna let him out. I'm gonna let him out. We can't deal with this anymore. Scott, I choose you. Are you okay? I feel about the same. Yeah, you sound- You look really different.
Starting point is 01:04:18 Oh really? Yeah, you have like a collar made of leaves and a big like strawberry looking thing. Oh yeah, other than that though. I mean, mentally I feel exactly alike. A bulbiscot. A bulbiscot. I look kind of like Meowto, don't I?
Starting point is 01:04:31 Yeah. Do a little spin for us. Here you go. I knocked everything over with my enormous ass. Your huge tail. Mrs. Incredible's got nothing on you. Thank you. Sorry, when I was in the Pokeball, I watched a lot of animated porn.
Starting point is 01:04:47 Oh, yeah, I should say time works pretty differently in the Pokeball. Yeah, it felt like it was in there for a millennia at least. Yeah. Cool. How long was it out here? Four and a half seconds. Oh, man. Well, it depends what Brett does in post. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:00 I know he has a bunch of YouTube commercials he was planning on putting before that. Well gosh, Ember, this is a disaster for you. Do you think? I think so. I mean, you're going to have to go back to- Do you think? You were single-handedly behind the extinction of almost all the Pokemon in the world. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:05:17 A few of them are still alive. How's Professor Oak going to take this? Probably not well, but he, for the most part, honestly spends his time online. And I think that that is sort of where this came from. Really, he's very online. He sort of had no oversight and I asked for a little bit of help and he said, you're 11 figure it out.
Starting point is 01:05:31 And I just sort of, I think he's drinking a lot if I'm being honest. Yeah, I would be. Well, look guys, we are running out of time. I'm so happy that we got you out of there and away from the evil Professor Oak. But we only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called Plugs. What's this?
Starting point is 01:05:50 Plug bag. Do not open. Ain't no bag gonna tell me what to do. Oh yeah, that was this bag has gone bad. Oh, cut it off a little early. This bag has gone bad by Eli Malley. Thank you to Eli Malley for that wonderful plugs theme. I like a little opening skit to the plugs band. Yeah, I like it. I mean, I personally, I would love to see a best of, of like, you know, hip hop people from the nineties
Starting point is 01:06:31 where it was just all their skits. Yeah. You know, like just like a jerky boy CD. You know what I mean? I would listen to exclusively a Wu Tang sketch comedy scene. Yeah, I mean, and all the skits are just like, you know, your first week of improv
Starting point is 01:06:43 where every scene ends with someone getting shot. Are voicemails counting your skits? Yeah, I mean, all the skits are just like, you know, your first week of improv where every scene ends with someone getting shot. Are voicemails counting your skits? Yeah, why not? Yeah. Like the ones to Eminem from his lawyer supposedly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and you can upload it there
Starting point is 01:06:59 and we'll play it on the show. And guys, what are we plugging? Obviously, Blink Twice. Oh yeah, in theaters now nationwide, Blink Twice, Channing Tatum, Naomi Ackie, and me. This in other countries as well? Pretty soon. I can't remember the exact dates.
Starting point is 01:07:15 Will it be there when I'm in the UK and Ireland? I'm sure it will be. Man, I hope so. It'll have expanded to the Royal Albert Hall. Oh, I can't wait to see it there. To spend my time in another country when I should be sightseeing, watching Blink twice. I know, well you wanna be reminded at home.
Starting point is 01:07:30 It's sort of like sightseeing, you filmed in the jungle. Exactly. Yeah. And then look for you on Wednesday. Wednesday, season two coming next year and the movie The Yellow released at the Toronto Film Festival on September 6th. All right, and Gino, what do you want to plug? For me, I've been listening to a podcast lately because I was in jail for a little bit, so
Starting point is 01:07:49 I had to have Patreon though. So I got to listen to a lot of Action Boys, which is a movie podcast where the guys only cover 70s, 80s and 90s action movies. Apparently they have some free episodes at free.actionboys.biz if you want to just get hooked and didn't have an extra few bucks per month. But also I guess podcasts can sometimes be live. Whoa! Yeah and it looks like they're doing a show on September 7th at the Dynasty typewriter at 730 p.m. Incredible! Yeah tickets are available at
Starting point is 01:08:19 live.actionboys.biz if Brett wants to throw something in the show notes. Yeah post-Labor Day show? I mean, I don't know that Brett would do that, but Kimmy certainly would. Oh, okay. Oh, you got the gibbler working for you. Of course. September 7th, post-Labor Day, don't wear white.
Starting point is 01:08:37 Don't wear white. As a matter of fact, again, the costume contest is on. If you dress as a character from a LA-based movie that we've covered on the show, you could potentially win prizes. Okay, wow. Last year we had someone dressed as Robert Zidar from Samurai Cop and about three snake plisskins from Escape from LA. That's the easy one, just buy an eyepatch. Although finding an eyepatch is hard. Yeah, especially. Anyone could buy one. Yeah, you can find it a free one. You gotta hope that one of your pirate friends is in town and that and not when you're Somali pirate. Yes
Starting point is 01:09:09 Thank you. Yeah, I'm the captain now. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, sorry. You are. Yeah Ember, what do you want to plug? whoa, um, I Guess I feel like maybe I've learned a lot about the real world here this week via my Pokemon. And in learning about the real world, I learned that there's a lot of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad anti trans bills that are happening across the country. So maybe a good place to start is by following trans lifeline and you can donate there or you can
Starting point is 01:09:37 go see what local organizations in your community need help and they probably could use your donations or you could just follow them and signal boost any of their posts. Wonderful, wonderful plug. Well I'm glad you went last because I would hate to plug a Patreon right after that. And stay flisking. No, go on, come on, tell us more about your Patreon.
Starting point is 01:09:54 Also, I plug, I guess. It's not mine. I guess Action Boys too. If you can only afford one, definitely do Action Boys instead. Well I'm proud to plug my things after that. We have the UK tour in Ireland coming up. We have September 4th, we're in Glasgow, September 6th in London, September 9th in Bristol, in
Starting point is 01:10:19 September 10th Dublin, September 11th Dublin as well and September 12th Manchester. And all of those shows are getting close to being sold out. So make sure you get tickets. They're over at cbbworld.com slash tour. And then we added a bunch of East Coast ish dates as well in October, October 16th, Montreal, October 17th, Troy, New York, October 18th, New Haven, Connecticut, October 20th, Tarrytown, New York, and October 21st, Red Bank, New Jersey. We are going to be out there and tickets for all of those are available now. Oh shit, you're gonna visit the View-A-Skewer-verse? I hope so. Where's that said? Red Bank.
Starting point is 01:10:58 Oh, okay. I have no idea, but I will be there. Why do I know all this? We don't know. I don't know, but head over there to cbbworld.com slash tour. All of those tickets are available now. And all right, let's close up the old plug bag. We've entered the room and there's nobody left.
Starting point is 01:11:16 The party's all but done. We look to the door and we go to the left. The party's almost done So then we open up the door But that's not the plug bag Because you notice what we're gonna do We're gonna see L
Starting point is 01:11:43 O Open up the plug bag Everybody join in and open up Alright! Your plug's now the time to tell me your plug. I wanna hear your plug now the time to tell me your plug. All right, that was Von Plugs by Dr. Zach Suss. And that was really abusing the one minute time limit by being 59 seconds. When we say one minute time limit, we're talking. We mean 30 seconds, come on. But thank you, that was great. Thank you to Dr. Zach Suss.
Starting point is 01:12:24 And I wanna thank you all for being here. Haley, so wonderful to see you again. Nice to see you, Scott. Many hamburgers to you, obviously. Many hamburgers to you. And perhaps someday we shall return with Slow Joey and do a special episode with you. That would be very nice, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:38 I mean, I wonder what he's been up to. I am so curious to know. It's been what, eight years? Since he was with Grace the small screen? What was his last name again? He was Joseph, Slosev Joseph. Slosev Joseph. Well, I got married to a mermaid and I took her last name.
Starting point is 01:12:54 Yeah, Slosev Joseph. Slosev Joseph Coconut Titch? I can't remember what it was. This is canon, I should know this. Yeah. As a fan of the show. But thanks so much for coming back and good luck with Blink Twice, obviously. And Gino, great to see you.
Starting point is 01:13:11 As always. I hope that it's not another, you know, how long has it been since we've seen you? It's been at least a year. Do you think really? I think so. Really? Yeah, maybe nine months.
Starting point is 01:13:21 Not for lack of asking, certainly. No, no, no. I've been busy in and out of the Nassau County prisons and stuff. Of course, yes. And I've become a prison abolish-ist. Bob-ol-ish-ist. Abolitionist. Abolitionist. Really, you don't think prisons should exist?
Starting point is 01:13:34 No, fuck it. Let them all out, who cares? Pokemon them. Yeah, and they'll all jump into the fireplace. I hope not, but hey, fuck it. What's the worst that could happen? Seriously. Crime goes up a little. Amazon Prime?
Starting point is 01:13:46 Amazon Prime? Oh, you said crime. Prime can't raise their prices anymore. Just kidding. Love you, Jeff Bezos. Pick up any Amazon pilots you might have sitting around. And Amber Chuckett, so wonderful to meet you. Oh, nice meeting you, Scott. We gotta get you with Dash next time.
Starting point is 01:14:00 Maybe. I don't know. He's kind of a, and I hate to say it, an asshole in the Pokemon world. Really? He hasn't made many friends I'll put it that way does he big-time all of you in there That's what I I got the sense that he was he was just too big for his he thinks he's so cool And he's so special, but I'm the one on the ground doing the work Yeah, because it's one of those things we're like right now literally as we're talking right now
Starting point is 01:14:20 Caterpie is trying to start a fight on Twitter calling the New York Fire Department pussies. And I'm like, I'm putting out that fire right now. You know what I mean? Where's Dash? Yeah, where's Dash in all of this? Well, I'm going to contact Dash and see if the both of you can be on together because I think that would be an incredible powerhouse team. Yeah, I guess. I have a few words for him. I'll put it that way. Okay. Mean. Mean. Mean is one of the words.
Starting point is 01:14:47 Poser. That's the average of all the words that they would use. Yeah, I understand. Yeah. Oh, average. That's the next word on your calendar. Oh yeah. May 13th, Friday. All right.
Starting point is 01:14:59 We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. All right, Brad, you cut it here.

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