Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Jack Quaid, Paul F. Tompkins, Tawny Newsome

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

Actor Jack Quaid joins Scott to talk about the rapture, his role in the latest Scream movie, and showing his butt on Season 3 of The Boys. Then, treasure hunter Brock Lovett returns to talk about having trouble finding any treasure lately. Later, wellness expert Tierna drops by to share some wellness tips. Plus, the ghost of musician Dr. John stops by to settle some unfinished business.

Kiddy cats, hamsters, puppy or birds, whatever the pet you're handling turds, welcome to comedy bang bang, thank you to slowest jogger, slowest jogger, one of our guests does not like that kind of humor and is shaking his head vigorously. As for me though, I love it, thank you. I thought it was funny. Shimmy? Yeah. Shimmy, what are you doing here? Hi, what is this place? Shimmy, for those listening, Shimmy was trapped in my backyard for months. I was trapped in the backyard and now I'm here. You're looking over your shoulder several times and how'd you get here? I don't know. Shimmy, you're a musician, is that right? Yeah, I play with townland. I was supposed to be at a rehearsal. A long time ago. Yeah. It's been several months.

I don't know if you've been keeping track of time. Well, I looked on Instagram, they had a show without me. Yeah, I mean, I think the first time we ever talked to you was back in April or March? Okay, I'll take you very far. It's been months and months. We're at the end of June at this point. It's been months and months. It's been a while. I gotta go. Okay, bye, Shimmy. Oh man, always great to hear from Shimmy, but I'm worried he's trapped here in the studio, much like Classic Jarls, whom we haven't heard from in a while, but welcome to Comedy Bang Bang and my name is Scott Ackerman. You've heard from me, it's been about a week, if you listened to last week's show, and we have a great one for you

today. First of all, coming up a little later, we have a musician, we have someone in the wellness area, and we have an underwater diver, is one way to describe them. And we also have an actor coming up, an actor. And we're back to having actors in our A block, which is an exciting thing here. But before we get to that, there's only a few days left, but dads and grads, I haven't mentioned you this June because it's heavily implied. Get your shit together. You have about four more days of your bullshit, and then we never want to hear from you until next June. But the person we do want to hear from is our first guest, and he is making his third appearance I believe on the show, second in person, and we've spoken to him under the auspices of promoting

his Star Trek cartoon project. It's called Star Tune Cartoon Project. It's a Star Tune cartoon. It's not a confusing name in any way. No, no. Everyone knows exactly how to find it. Star Trek Tiny Desk, is that what it is? It's called Star Trek Tiny Desk. It's on the Star Tune network. Star Tune network. Yeah, it's a Star Tune Plus. It's a streaming app. Star Tune Plus. But we're not here to talk about that today. No, no, no. Because that is, it's sure it's coming up down the line. Yeah, it's definitely coming down the line, down the pipe. But right now we're in the middle of a season of television that is just causing such an impact all across America and beyond. Sure, yeah. We knew we had to have you on to do a mid-season check-in.

Yeah. Yeah, are you checking in with me or am I checking in with the audience? I think, well, I thought you were checking in with me. Oh, okay. Scott, how are you now that we're midway through the third season of The Boys? I haven't seen it. Oh, okay. Anyway, great to have Jack Quaid here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really great to be back. Man, my Star Tune episodes were way better. It's way better. Of course, so good to be here. People know Jack as, are you, Huey-Doo or Louie? I'm Huey. I'm Huey, but in season four we introduce Dewey and Louie. They are crazy. And when does Uncle Scrooge come around? When does he start diving into that swimming pool full of gold coins? Well, I'm sure like The Boys, he dives

into the coins, but you know, he's just diving into like solid matter, so he basically just explodes on impact. And it's very bloody and very violent. And it says something about America. Okay, good. Yeah. And wealth. So you are, this is a season now, you mentioned blood on the show. Sure. Which is one of the things our bodies are primarily made of. Yeah, I'd say so. Can we agree on that? Yeah, I think we can agree on that, yeah. Water, blood. Water, blood, bones, viscera, is that a thing? Sure. Bile? Certainly bile. Bile. I'm mostly bile. Depending on the time of day, so yeah, semen, piss, shit. Piss and shit. Flesh, we forgot about flesh. Yeah, flesh, that's a liquid. That's a covering, certainly. Yeah,

you think flesh is a liquid? I think it's a liquid. What about, what about the juice in your eyeballs? Thank you, shimmy. What do you call that, eyeball juice? What is that? Again? Bye, shimmy. I love shimmy. I love shimmy, too. I just met him today and he's very shy. What is very shy? Oh, he's back. Sunny E? Like Sunny D, but for eyeballs? Oh, man. I had so many follow-up questions for shimmy and then he always has to go. Oh, he is a very busy man. Yeah. But you mentioned all, you mentioned this blood. The show is The Boys, of course. You mentioned this blood, yes, I did, yes. The Boys on Amazon Prime. A lot of blood, a lot of violence, but this season, I lied before I have checked out this season. Oh, cool. This season, I'm like, okay, there's a

lot of violence, but when's the sex start up? Yeah. And then we get to see your little butt. Yeah, my butt's in it. Tell us about that day on set. Well, I mean, okay, the day on set was crazy because like, all right, so spoilers for the show, spoiler alert to everyone listening. Spoilers for Mr. Skin. Yes, spoilers for Mr. Skin, which is, I hope it's not still a thing, considering I have a skin to show. I believe it is and I think you'll have an entry. My liquid skin. But yeah, no, I have powers this season and I can teleport and the way that we do superpowers on the show is we think about like, okay, how would this actually exist in the world? And if you can teleport, it's like your... When you say we think about that, it's the writers. Yeah,

they think about it. I didn't think about it. I just took credit for their work. You get piles of paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That have your name on them. Piles. They're so unorganized. Piles? Piles? Piles? They just show up on a dump truck. Actually, Jack, these are all stapled together. It's a script. Oh, thank God. Look at what are these piles of paper? These piles upon piles you sent me. But no, like I can teleport and it's your biological matter going from one part of the room to the other. So your clothes are not going to come with you. Sure, because a lot of people you know the theories about the rapture. Yeah, sure. I know the theories. When God takes us Christians back to the homeland. You and me is specific. Yeah, exactly. A lot of theories are

your clothes are just going to fall onto your car door and all your jewelry. And then there's going to be so many naked people in the homeland. Yeah, exactly. I mean, we'll all grow wings and they pass out the harps. It'll be appropriate for the environment. It'll ever be like, oh, everybody's doing it. It's fine. Yeah, exactly. There will be no shame is the way they explained it to me. There's no shame in the homeland. Shame was created by the devil in the Garden of Eden. Yeah. They ate that apple and suddenly were like, oh my penis and covered themselves. And then it didn't help that the devil was like, ew. Look at that tiny penis. Ew. And it was because it was tiny, wasn't it? Yeah, it's because Adam had a tiny deck. That's the source of everything.

Yeah. And suddenly that gets transferred down to us, people with our huge BDE. Yeah. That we have this shame. You and me is specific. Yeah, exactly. I'm pointing to you. Yeah, of course. Anyway. Anyway, yeah, you see my butt in the show quite a lot this season. Quite a lot really, so more to come. More, I think so. I think so. I didn't like really like linger on those moments when I was watching through it. What's it like filming something like that where you're like, okay, everyone try to avert your eyes as much as possible other than every single person watching this show. Yeah, other than exactly. It's very weird. I mean, it's a closed set when you do it, but it's still like mostly naked, you know, you're naked and then everyone else is closed. Clothed.

Everyone else is clothed. And it's like the human brain is just not really equipped to deal with that situation where you're like, I'm in a room where everyone has the clothes on, mine are off, and that's very weird. And then to extrapolate that and be like, hey, a lot of other people are going to see this later. That's a lot to take in. Yeah. But whatever I shoot, whatever I do, I always say to myself before I shoot it, I go, this is a student film, and the only people who will see this are our friends. I seriously do that because if I think about the eyeballs that could potentially be on it, I will be just petrified. And that's how I do this podcast. It actually ends up being exactly right most of the time. But yeah, you've had to do it so

many times then this season that at what point do you get used to it? And you're like, yeah, I think I got the hang of this being naked in front of a bunch of people thing. You never get fully used to it, but you do, I don't know, you do become accustomed to it. Like I think like a few episodes into being, a few episodes into my naked streak of the season, that's when I started to get slightly more comfortable. But I don't know. And then like when it came out, it was like, yeah, Jack's naked in the show. And there was like a, there was like a reaction on Twitter, like you see his butt, but then later in that same scene, Jensen Ackles comes out of a cryo tube and his butt is also visible. So he's overshadowing your

butt. Internet freaked out over his butt, Scott. Yeah. And look, I'm happy for the guy. You should have something in your contract about like who else can show their butt on an episode, you know, like no one of Jensen Ackles is. Yeah, you can't have stature. No, you can't have like an ass that's going to outstage my ass, the upstage my ass. You can't do it. No, I should have it in my right or you're totally right. But it seems to me like you're, you're a regular on the show. It seems to me like you could have said like, oh, just get someone else to beat my butt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean. Not me. You wanted it. Not me, I wanted it. I wanted to then, I wanted to be like no one else's, but you can tell it

to me in there. You can totally tell. I was like, yeah, get my, get my ass in there. I want to feel shame much like Adam in the Garden of Eden. I want to feel, I just want to feel eyeballs on my butt. That's, that's how. Do you do any sort of special grooming on it? Like, do you pay attention to the crack or what do you? I've always paid attention to my crack. Thank you for asking. Good man. No, I've always paid attention to the crack. I, I, you know, hey, you had to make, you have to make sure it's somewhat camera ready. You want any surprises? You want somebody coming up and be like, there's something wrong with your crack. You don't want that. Right. Yeah. So, so when someone, you know, out there, like me say, yeah, pauses it and really

inspects it, you want it to be just, you know, a pleasurable experience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. I want to be a pleasurable, pleasurable experience for you for sure. Thank you. Yeah. No. If you're going to pause it and have it up on the screen like you do. Yeah. Oh yeah. When you came in here, yeah, we, I was going to say, yeah, no, it's, we wanted to make sure you felt at home and felt comfortable being in school. Yeah. No, I did. It's looking at my crack is actually quite a comfort to me now. So thank you. I appreciate it. It needs the exposure because then once again, Jensen Ackles, overshadowing. Oh man. My butt needs the play. Now, a lot of, a lot of shows would have on one of the stars of a show to promote the beginning of a season, but we're doing a mid-season

check-in. Sure. Sure. Sure. Yeah. So how's this season going? This season, this season's going, if you're checking in with me. Yeah, I'll check in with you. You're checking in with me. I think it's going good. Yeah. No, it's, it's coming out. People are digging it. It's definitely coming out. We'll tell you that. It's definitely coming out. It's definitely on a consistent release schedule. What are we like halfway through this season? Well, I don't even know. We're like, yeah, we're more than halfway through at this point. How many did you do? We did eight. We do eight every and we're like at five at this point? Yeah. Well, six is coming out as of this recording tomorrow. Okay. So it still counts as kind of a mid-season check-in. It might be a post-season

check-in by the time this comes out. Well, I hope not, but we'll see. We'll see how this goes. Yeah. We may have to tinker with it in post for a while. Yeah. But so, so it's a big, big hit. If people haven't seen it, give the five words or under sort of pitch. Oh man. Five words or under? Yeah. And you can get rid of the and a and all that kind of stuff. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Superheroes. That's a hyphenated one word. Are you going to let it slide? Yeah. I'm great. So we're at one. Thank you. We're at one. We're at one. Superheroes. Blood. Superheroes blood. Is that possessive superheroes? No, it's just, these are just separate words. Okay. These are just separate nouns. Okay. Oh, just nouns. Just nouns. Okay.

Superheroes blood. Oh, okay. So little onomatopoeia there. That's a noun. Yeah. Okay. Great. Yeah. So the generally what you're trying to sort of imply is like people will feel good watching it or be satiated. Read into that whatever you want. Satisfied in some way. Okay. But a little perverse. Okay. Little bit, you know, little naughty. Then the fourth word is yeah. Okay. Good. Good. And then I think the fifth one is okay. Okay. So like after watching it like, okay, I didn't expect that. I don't know. Read into it what you wish. Yeah. Maybe that's like, okay. So superheroes. I didn't say it like that though. You're right. Superheroes blood. Superheroes blood. Mmm. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. That's boy season three in a nutshell, Scott. All right.

So everyone can watch that. It's a wonderful show. People love it. And you of course are an actor and other things. We talked about the Star Tunes already. Star Tunes cartoons. Yeah. Star Tunes cartoon. And then you were also in this, this Scream movie. Yeah. That came out earlier in the year. Now no spoilers for, for this movie because a lot of people are catching up to it, right? True. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I think so. I've spoiled it on like TV at this point. No sport, but no spoilers. People can relax. There's no sports. Yeah. Yeah. So how does it feel to play the killer in something like this? Is it, uh, it feels good. It feels good to murder. Um, it's, uh, it's just, how'd you get into this twisted mind of this character? It was so, uh, it was so cool to

like, I don't know, be that. But like, I had to keep the secret the whole time because they gave different scripts to the whole cast of like those different killers. And yeah, I was like, what the fuck are these? You have to start organizing them. Were there any shots? Like, did they shoot any scenes of it? Cause that just seems like a colossal waste of time for something that no one ended up really. I don't think they shot like alternate like killer versions, like with different people that like, that would just be a waste of everyone's time and like such a let down for the people who like the people who thought they were the killer. Yeah. But the people who, uh, weren't the killer and survived the movie, it gets to be in the next one. So that's

like the ultimate reward. You don't want to be in the next one. You did it already. You know what it means? It's like, it's like, I'm murdered. You murdered. What was that? Jimmy? Jimmy? I fell over. Jimmy! Where are you sitting? How did you fall over first of all, Jimmy? My, my heels are too round. So sometimes if I lean back, I just go all the way around. What is two around? Because round at all is, uh, you know, it's just one at a time. All right, Jimmy. I actually had a question for Jimmy if he's around in there. I got time for two more. Oh, wow. Okay. All right. First one is, I heard you were, I heard you were recently, good to see you again, Jimmy. Uh, I heard you were recently passed. I'll give you a nickname. Yeah. What's the nickname? Yeah, that's what I'd like to do

when I, when people ask me questions, I can give a nickname. Oh, really? We are learning new stuff about Jimmy. Love it. I'm going to call you Bushy Top. Bushy Top? Bushy Top. Bushy Top. Oh, yeah, I got this like, bushy, like curly hair. Yeah, Bushy Top. I like it. Um, do I have time to ask a question before you leave? Yeah, go ahead, Bushy Top. Okay. Um, I heard you were recently cast in Scream 6. Is this correct? Is are the rumors true? Oh, I saw the NDA. Oh, okay. There we go. Okay. I was going to ask you how you're handling the pressure. Um, how, how's it all going for you? Not good. I think I just revealed something inadvertently. Yeah, you did. You did big time. That's why I'm here. I'm sorry, Jimmy. Well, good to see y'all. That's it for today.

This was a test by the network. Oh, he's gone. All right. Oh, my gosh. Well, it's good to be still part of the Scream family. Yeah, it's cool. You know, you got, uh, Neve Campbell. Neve Campbell. The Screamily. The Screamily. Thank you, Jimmy. Goodbye. You got, uh, Shaggy and uh, you got Shaggy, you got, um, you got, man, you got, you got Dewey. That's the true Dewey. Yeah, the true Dewey. That's the Dewey that's coming into the boys, is David Arquette's Dewey from Scream. And then, yeah, it's the trio everyone wanted to see. That's specific trio. Dewey, Dewey, and Jack Wayne, David Arquette, and Louisie Gay together. Dewey, Dewey, and Louie. Oh, man. Let's get to photoshopping this. Yeah, let's get to photoshopping this. Let's put this out on the internet. Let's do

it. Um, I've, so I worked with David Arquette. It was such a fun time. Uh, he's amazing. You ever tried to wrestle you? That's what I was going to bring up that documentary he was in. Yeah, you cannot kill David Arquette is one of the coolest things I've ever seen. Um, and I'm like, that's the first thing I told him and I don't know how to congratulate someone on like being in a documentary about themselves. I was like, you were so great as yourself in the documentary about you. So what did you just choose not to say anything? No, I said exactly what I just said. Oh, okay. And he was like, he was a nice guy. I was like, thank you. Like I didn't go over poorly. What an interesting conversation. But yeah, it was just like, you know, so you said he was good at something. Hey, man,

thanks for being you and your performance as yourself is great. I like, but how do you congratulate someone on being like, you know, like you did it fine. And he said, thank you. I guess you know what? Maybe it didn't go perfectly. Let's not take this one to to cordon. Yeah, this particular story. Yeah, let's get off of this story. Let's workshop this one a little bit before before James gets ahold of it. Okay, one of the jimmies. One of them. Um, so something to call my name? Oh, no, she's shimmy shimmy. We were talking about sorry. If you know how to get back here, how do you not know how to get out? I'm not trying to get back here. I just end up you're just drawn to it. He's so fast. I think there's the vortex. Okay, bye. He's got like the fastest feet in all the

California. Well, the boys season three mid season check in. We still have a couple, couple of episodes to go. That's going to take us all the way to first week of July, probably. And then after that, after that, start to start to start to cartoons kicks in, I believe. I'm not exactly sure when, but we have a we have a season three on the horizon. And it's very exciting. Wonderful. It's really, really fun. And anything else you can talk about? Or is everything else still under wraps? You know, you read, I don't know if you follow this deadline Hollywood thing. I have in the past. Yes. It's to the point now they announced when someone is cast in someone. Yeah. When someone's cast in

someone. Yeah. When someone's cast in someone. Now, when someone is cast in a project, they'll talk about it. When someone is auditioning for a project, when someone gets an agent now, it's a big headline. Yeah. It's like, I want to be taken out of the process. I just want, I just, I want to see the thing when it comes out. You got to stop the day before. You got to stop following deadline. There's too many announced looking for some, some news about myself, honestly. Nothing's been going on. You just been trolling deadline for news about you. Like, look, is he going to be about to give me a job out there? Nope. Look, I mean, yeah. What's that shit? Shimmy? Told ya. Oh, Nikki Fink, of course.

Was he? He's a big Nikki. Shimmy and I talked about this offer. He's a huge fan of Nikki Fink. Mainly because of the writer's strike. How often do you talk off air with Shimmy? Oh, all the time. Oh, yeah. That's the thing. Yeah. I mean, we have a long conversation. Oh, it's fantastic. When he's on, he's, he's very reticent together with Nikki. He's got to go! He's got to go! He's got to stay gone! Well, Jack Quaid plays Huey, of course, on the, uh, Dub Boys. Anyone ever do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or that's like the Bears. Yeah, I've had it in a lot of convention settings. I have, I have people dressed up like they're in that sketch coming up and going. This is Dub Boys.

What about SNL, where like, like you should host SNL and then get Smigol. I'd love to. And the rest of them and, uh, you, you take Farley's part. Of course. And everyone is, and everyone. No one will be mad about that at all. But everyone's dressed like you're, you're, you know, everyone's dressed like Homelander and all the other people. And then you sit, sitting around the table and you're like, Dub Boys! Dub Boys! Yeah. Oh my God. Who do we call? Do we call Lauren Direct or? We call Lauren Direct right now. And he'll say, put this on the season premiere. Yeah, yeah. He'll say, uh, put this, make sure to include this in the mid-season check-in.

That's what he'll say. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Well, uh, Dub Boys out there right now. Dub Boys out there. Um, uh, very fun. You see my butt. There's other good parts to it too. Do you ever let out like an SBD when the camera's on your butt? Like an SBD? Yeah. Silent, but deadly. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I try not to, but I don't know. But I don't know. I don't like, I think if there's one time not to fart, because I fart all the time in my pants to work. Sure. Of course. Uh, I mean, Oprah says we do it 12 to 14 times a day. She does. Yeah. Oh my god. Not on camera. I definitely do it more than 14 times a day. I don't know though. I'm not sure. You don't know if I do it more than 14 times a day? Yeah, I can't tell. Just from the looks of you.

I mean, I'm pretty sure I've farted at least 10 times since I've been in this studio. Oh really? At least 10. In the studio. Yeah. The studio alone. No one can smell it. Good to know. I think. No one can smell it. Can anyone? I mean, I don't know. We haven't revealed most of the people on this episode yet. But we'll ask our next guest. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. He's a, we should get to him. Yeah, we should. Yeah, we should get to him. So the boys out there right now. The boys out there now. It is out there now. It might have finished airing by this point. No, no, no. It's still out. Okay, it's still out. Maybe like the finale has yet to come out. That's good. That's a spy. No, we still have two. I believe we still have two episodes left.

Okay, two episodes left. We're going to set this in, you know, I'm just going to give you options for some later in the edit. Later in the edit. Do you want to give us all? Yeah. I'm just going to give you, here we go. Just do a, do a, do a series. Yeah. Hey boys, mid-season check in here. You can check out the remaining three episodes coming up soon on Prime Video. Hey boys, mid-season check in here. You can check out the remaining two episodes coming up now. Hey, check out the finale. Bye. It's me, Jack Quaid. Use any of that. The threatening information at the very end of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Snuck it right in. But like you can slot that in wherever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah.

You can slot it in right now. You can slot it in at the very end of the episode. No, I mean, our editor, our machine's broken, so I'm not quite sure if we can do it. Oh, the editing machine's broken. Yeah, so I'm not quite sure if we can do it. Okay. So it may come out just, so if you're hearing- Seems like there's a, there's a fire in the booth. Am I correct? Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that, but there was an episode we did recently where the fire alarms were going the entire time and none of us could hear them because we all had headphones on. Yeah. Seems like they should attach the fire alarms to inside the headphones so we can

escape if we had to, but you guys have these anti-fire alarm headphones. It's very specific. Noise, specifically fire alarm canceling. Everything else you hear, plain injuries. Yeah, you're going to hear it, but a fire alarm? No way. Well, Jack, we need to get to our next guest. Let's go. Can you stick around? Yeah, of course. Okay, let's talk to him. He is a, he's an underwater deep-sea diver, I believe. Do you dive or do you just travel around in them? Maybe not really. Do you just go into the like sphere kind of thing? What do you call that? The Undo sphere? Yeah, the Undo sphere. It depends what the specific job is, but yeah, sometimes I get out in the

water by myself, but most times I'm in the Undo sphere. So you're scooting around in the Undo sphere usually. I don't call it scooting around. Does that have like those carnival game pickup arms where you can pick up the treasure, you know? Carnival game pickup arms. You know, the kind where it's like you're directing with a joystick. Well, I know what you mean, but I want you to explain it more. But does it have two of those and opposable thumbs in the rest so that you can pick up treasure on the, on the bottom of the ocean? I mean, I don't really need opposable thumbs on them. It's not like he's going to open a beer or something. Could you open a beer in the Undo sphere? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You're just never going to?

I mean, it's not wise. That would be so cool to like find a beer, you know, like a beer that the Titanic, you know, just, you know, with some kind of mention the Titanic. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, oh boy. But, but to use both of those two arms and crack open the beer, just be like, of course, we've done that. It's fun. I'm not going to lie. So you were, but you were lying earlier. You were like never cracked open a beer in the Undo sphere. In the Undo sphere? Sure. With it. No, I take my job very seriously. This is like what the definition of is is. I allow myself to have a big cigar at the end of a big underwater treasure hunt. If I am successful, if I'm not, I do not have that cigar. Really? Okay. He also does sound a little like Bill Clinton so that it wasn't completely. I'm

sick of hearing that, man. Sound like another Bill as well. I do not sound like Bill Clinton. Start putting your thumb up like this. He's from Arkansas. I'm from Texas, man. Oh, that's right. Oh, let me introduce you. Please. He is, uh, uh, he, he toodles around in the Undo sphere. You made it worse. From scooting to toodling. Come on, man. But primarily he is, we know him as a treasure hunter. That's right. He's been on the show many times. You may know him as the guy who almost found the, uh, something. The Cordillamere. Cordillamere, yes. Ah, yes, the Cordillamere. Cordillamere, the jewel of the ocean, is that what it is? The heart of the ocean. He almost found it, but an old lady threw it off the side of a boat. Please welcome back to the

show. Brock, love it. Hello. She tricked me. Yeah. Never forget. I'm glad she's doing it. She kept it underneath that frilly lace, uh, bodice that she was wearing. Frilly lace bodice. What am I trying to say? What are you trying to say? She, she kept that, she kept it around her neck, right? Yeah. It's a necklace. And she didn't, uh, but no, I'm saying her, her dress, her nightgown. Yeah. Her night, was she wearing a nightgown? I don't remember. It was a long time ago. Back in the nineties. Yeah. Memorizing what, you know, everyone was wearing when I'm trying to find treasure. Turn around. What am I wearing? I don't care. A barrel with straps. That reminds me of the joke I sent into Reader's Digest when I was young about, uh,

a, uh, a man walking down the road and he sees, uh, uh, someone with a shirt he really likes. And he goes, Hey, where'd you get that? And the person says, JC Penney. And then he walks down the road a little further. He sees someone with pants he really likes. He goes, Hey, where'd you get that? And he says, JC Penney. Then he sees someone walking down the road and he sees someone else with a barrel and two straps. And he goes, What's going on with you? And he goes, I'm JC Penney. Okay. Let's walk through the problems. I loved it. What do you mean? First of all, the delight on your face. That's a problem. Secondly, I mean, it's not clear. It's still like, at first it makes you think, well, wait,

if he's JC Penney, why is the company doing so poorly when people are buying stuff from him? And then you're like, Oh, no, no, no. He's just a guy named JC Penney. And what did he only? Okay. Now that I'm walking through it, it does have some issues. So when, yeah, the ones I mentioned. So no, no, no, but I have, I got one more, which is like, did, did JC Penney only have one shirt and one pair of pants to sell? I guess so. And was he waiting around for someone to come and be like, Hey, you're combining the two problems into one problem. So, okay, the thing is, what, what this guy's trying to say, right? This little kid said, by the way, it did not, when you were a little kid, you wrote this.

I didn't write the joke, by the way, this is a, I heard the joke and said, I'll send it in. Or did I write it? I can't remember it anyway. Wow. You stole the joke. And you said, no, this is Reader's Digest would take all jokes that were old jokes. How dare you? And, but you had to take all jokes. They would take all jokes, not my joke. Any joke, any joke you've ever heard inside your family, whatever, we'll take it. I'd like to think that they're printed before. Who cares, literally rip out the page and send it back to us. I'd like to think that there are literal joke writers crafting jokes for Reader's Digest. I mean, those jokes got to come from somewhere like street jokes that people tell each other street

jokes. Somebody has to like invent that, you know? Yeah, true. I invented one when I was a kid, but I guess you invented a street joke. Why isn't that one in? It was long, but in fact, my parents and I had a long discussion about the JCPenney one, about would they print a brand name in Reader's Digest? Really? They were like, we might not get the rights. That's probably why they didn't do it. I just remember that. Anyway, Brock, great to see you. Great to see you, I guess. Thanks for coming. Oh, yeah, no, but what are you here for? What's going on with you, Brock? Have you found any new treasure? No. Oh, old treasure? I mean, most treasure is old treasure. Is that what you meant? Did I find anything that became treasure in the last week? Yeah. No,

usually it's like... What's the newest treasure out there? Oh, that's a good question. The newest microchips? Yeah. Microchips are... No, there's no microchip that's treasure yet. Man, probably another hundred years. Okay. I'm talking the earliest microchips. Okay, gotcha. Like the ones from the 70s or 80s or something. What do you call those? The Texas instruments. Yeah, right. Those are 50 years old. In 100 years, a Texas instrument microchip will be microchip. I can't fucking talk to that. Man, I think you're micro-tripping right now. I know, I can't goddamn talk to that. I'm macro-tripping. I'm macro-tripping on the major level. I've been macro-dosing lately. Have you ever tried this? Yeah, you take a big amount of LSD

and then you just take it? Anyway, I'm a little down the dunce because... Yeah, what's going on? No old treasure, no new treasure? What's happening? I don't know where. I can't find any treasure lately. Have you been going out into the water? Yeah, of course I have. You know that's my whole thing. Yeah, because you like wet treasure. I only like treasure that's underwater. Under to sea. That's right. That's where it's hotter. Okay. I'm sorry to... I feel like you're making light of my sad feeling. I think you're very annoyed with Scott. Is there like some history here? Well, he's an annoying guy. I have been in his history here. I feel like if you listen to this show, you'll notice some people rightfully

get very annoyed with him. And other people have, I don't know, a different training, I guess. And so they just treat all of his questions like they're real good questions. Yeah. I was answering his questions earlier. Do I have good training? I mean, I guess you do. I mean, he's trying to derail you at every turn. He's been to like publicity school and he's... I'm sure... I have been to publicity school. It's a four-year program. Four years. Four years. Just wow. There's a whole class on were there any pranks pulled on the set. There's another one about... Where are they? By the way, that is a question. Describe the show in three words. How do you balance work and family? Who's the biggest prankster on the boys? Is it Carl Urban? Exactly right. Actually, yeah. Big time.

Thank you. I like saying his name. I thought that was a country guy, Carl Urban. Carl... No, that's Keith Urban. That's Keith Urban. You don't think. Are they related? Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm having a flashback right now. Everything's lining up. Wait, and isn't Keith Urban, is he married to Nicole Kidman? Is Carl Urban married to Natalie Kidman? Have I been working with Natalie Kidman this whole time? Wait, why are they the same person now? I don't know. I can't fucking talk. He's trying to condense his whole show. Doubtfire with his parents. Pretending he's married. Hey, did you know Mrs. Doubtfire was based on a book? Yeah, I heard that. That blew my mind. Imagine reading that book. Then he has to run into the other room and put on the makeup again,

but he only does it half-assed. A full chapter on the drive-by fruiting. Breaking down the physics of it. Do you think like in the book, they're like, and the new husband who looks remarkably like Pierce Brosnan. It's a big pitch. Was he a husband? I can't remember. I've never seen that movie. I think he was a boyfriend, was he not? He was like trying to horn in. Yeah, he was trying to horn in. He saw an opportunity. Hard. Trying to horn in on this woman living her life. Yeah. Was it Sally Field? Yeah. Oh, yeah it was. Who ends up with her at the end? It can't be they get back together. I've never seen. No, she's like, no, I love you Mrs. Doubtfire. I'm in love with Mrs. Doubtfire.

And they just bump nubs? And they just bump nubs. Whoa. Are you sure that he would go so far into the character work that he would do something with his genitals? Yeah. He put on like a latex prosthetic or something to make it look like. I don't know. That's time consuming. It was great. The whole thing is time consuming. You don't think that what he did already is not time consuming? That's what I'm saying. And then on top of that, you're going to make fake genitals? All the details are probably in the book. On the off chance, your ex-wife fell in love with you and wants to bump nubs. I just don't see it, gentlemen. Well, Brock, what's your method been recently? I mean, are you doing the same method that you've always used to no success? I mean,

I'm doing all the same stuff. I'm getting all these maps, you know, and. Where do you get the maps from again? We talked about this before. All kinds of places. All kinds of places. I mean, I look online, of course, you'd be dumb not to. TreasureMap.com. Yeah. Just downloadable JPEGs. It's for the PDFs sometimes. Yeah. Sorry, PDFs, PDFs. Sorry, PDFs. And, you know, and then people send me maps, you know, if they find one, sometimes people have one in their family that they've never done anything with. Sometimes people don't have the time to go hunt down. Of course they have regular jobs. This is my job. And they're like, hey, I know this is your thing, dude. Do you want to take this map? Right. Sorry that the edges are

all like burned and stuff. That happens. Yeah. And that sometimes you got to hold it up to a light bulb because it's been written in lemon juice. Sorry, it's on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Okay, okay, okay, okay. That's land treasure. I beg your pardon. Sorry. Some of it was up high too. That's air treasure. Was it Mount Rushmore involved? Yeah. These are more movies I haven't seen. Fire Treasure. That's another fire treasure. Well, you got water treasure, you got land treasure, air treasure, and then there must be fire treasure, right? I mean, what would be what? In the center of the earth maybe or in fireplaces and stuff? Nobody's going down there. In fireplaces? Center of the earth? Fireplaces? Santa must have like dropped some

things going down these fireplaces occasionally, you know? Is that treasure though? I mean, that's kind of present. You've been around for hundreds of years. I mean, like some old dumb wooden horse? That's over 100 years old. That's an antique. That's not treasure. What is your definition? Yeah, coins. Okay, treasure is. Microchips that are hundreds of years old. Obviously coins, obviously eventually microchips. You know, you're talking about, you're talking about coins, you're talking about crowns and tiaras, you're talking about ropes of pearls, scepters. Gosh, what else? What about pearls? Yeah, sure. Is it having to be in rope form? I mean, it looks better spilling out of the chest if it's. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But if you found a big clam or oyster with his, with his, you know, maw just gaping. You mean, how many times? Yes, yeah, of course. Yeah, and you, you, you, you sneak in there either with the Undosphere's arms or your own arms and you just grab that pearl right now? I will always, for, for something like that, we come, look, we come across these, these oysters a lot. Like big, big oysters, not like gigantic, but like bigger than an oyster you'd eat, right? Yeah. And you see it there and then it like majestically opens up its lid and then there's the, there's the pearl and it's like, all right, I got to go out there and grab it with my own two hands. Yeah. And that's what I'll do. Wow. You ever, you ever get, does it ever close on you? It tries to every

time. Yeah. What's that? Yeah, what is it? It's tempting you in, right? It's trying to eat me, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's not lost on me. What is the, the, how do you get in there? But is it just a quickness? It's a, you got to do it with the quickness. Yeah. Yeah. You have a sickness for that, don't you? Oh, I got a sickness for that quickness. And so I'll see, I'll get up to that big pearl and I'll be like, um, you know, like, Hey, how are you doing? I'll say to the oyster, you know. So the Joey, uh, the Joey from Friends? Oh, sorry, I thought you had a technique. I thought another word for oyster was Joey, like a baby kangaroo. Right, right, right. So the Joey, I was like, what is this oyster terminology I'm learning now? You pull a Joey on him. Yeah.

I pull, well, I'm not saying how you doing. Hey, how are you doing? Like a normal person. That's, to me, the genius of Joey was that he emphasized that one syllable. And so he made it his own. Yeah. Okay. Now look, people like you derailing conversations. So, so I'll go up and are you grooming that microphone? There, anytime I get close to it, a little fuzz goes up my nose and I'm trying to get rid of it. Like a lowland gorilla, like picking nits off of it. What do you think deter, because I look, I know a lot about the ocean. Don't know a lot about land. Right. What do you, when a gorilla is doing that, a monkey is doing that with another monkey and they pick the nits off,

what determines whether or not they eat it? Because they don't eat all of them. They don't eat all of them. Sometimes they're like, no, not this one. This one's too good to throw away. Maybe where it is on the face. Like, oh, is it by the nose? Got some of that, that snot juice. Snot juice. Makes it a little tasty. Well, there's I juice, there's snot juice, there's bile, there's shit, there's... We call it sunny E. Oh yeah, the juice is in your eye. Yeah. Anyway, so maps, of course I do, I'll just do a lot with sonar, where I have, you know, station in all of the seven seas, I have these little... Morbius had sonar powers. What, the living vampire? Did he really? I believe so. Because of bats.

Yes. Sure. Yes. Little fuzz would grow in his ears. Am I crazy or did I hear that they released that movie, nobody watched it, and then they released it again. Did they do anything different, or were they just like, oh, everyone was busy. This is a much better time. As I read on the Wikipedia, they said, hey, please re-release this, we were busy that week, and they fell for it. But Morbius isn't in the ocean with you, right? You've set up a bunch of stations? Yeah, not Morbius. See, okay, now this is the difference in training. You automatically glommed onto the idea that it was Morbius. It's not at all. I'm putting shit together as I go. You clearly... I'm so fucking tired right now. I'm saying you don't have to, you can take it easy,

you really don't have to be this alert. I'm trying to be more alert in life, typically. And it's just... I'm trying to be more present, I appreciate it, Jack. I need you back. Okay, yeah, yeah. So there's not a bunch of Morbius in the sea. What is that? Trying to get you back on track, man. Trying to help you. Thanks. I'm sure he needs your help, but... So I got all these spheres, right? And these spheres go in the ocean, and then they emit little sonar beeps, and if they get something back, they're attuned to certain materials, so obviously gold, diamonds, rubies, TRs and crowns. Sceptres. Strings of pearls, individual pearls, sceptres, yes.

What about stacks of cash, like wet cash, does that ever happen? It's not really treasure. Really? No. So you would pass it up, just like stacks it, like even like a shrink-wrapped, like in the movie, Inside Man or whatever, where they shrink-wrapped those giant cubes of money, you know? Right. You'd just pass it by. Yeah, that's all I'm there for. Hey, if somebody else finds that, good for them,

you know what I mean? What do they call people who search for that, like wet stacks of cash? Trultures. Trultures. They're treasure vultures. So after we're done, the trultures come in, like the Disney cash? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it, got it.

What are trultures like? What do you think they're like? Oh, jeez, okay, fine. They're losers, they're losers. So they don't have the balls to like go down and find the treasure, they just find where treasure hunters have been, and then they go there, so all the work is done for them. Wow.

So, I mean, you've been doing all the- I'd burn that cash if I weren't underwater. They kind of figure out a way to burn things underwater with a laser? I've been trying. It's not really burning, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I know. So, but you've been doing- Hey, speaking of lasers, I was at the dentist the other day and it sucked.

How come they still gotta poke at you with a metal stick? What about lasers? What are we doing with those? Yeah, it is weird, you know, they come at- You can slice somebody's eyeball, but you can't like get old food out of your teeth? Yeah, huh. It's like the dentist always tells you don't stick anything in your mouth, and then the first thing they do when you walk in there-

Hold on a second. I'm sorry, I'm doing Bill Cosby himself, Benz. The dentist says don't stick anything in your mouth? Take it up with Bill. Take it up with Bill. I don't remember that part. I actually was at the dentist where they had to, they were like, you were not flossing, and so they had to do a thing where they like scraped my gums and then they

rekind of sutured them together with a laser. That's a deep cleaning. It was a deep cleaning. With a laser? That's the deepest of cleaning. Yes, no. How about that? They got a laser involved.

It sucks. No. It's bad. They pull your gums away from your teeth, and if you get a look at it, it's chilling. I don't want to. Terrifying. It really does. It looks like your mouth is in 3D.

Yeah, your mouth is usually in 3D. Yeah, but this is like- It doesn't look that way. Yeah, I'm sure there's experiences where like you're in the theater and they like move the seats when there's an explosion. It's like one of those kind of things. Well, Brock, I don't know what to say. This is a terrible time for you.

I mean, you've been doing all the things you normally do and maybe you need to switch it up like in Tin Cup, you know? He takes all the change out of his pockets. That's a special thing. Wait a minute. In Tin Cup, he takes the change out of his pockets. Shakes around, you know? When that movie was about treasure?

I mean, sort of. I mean, if you consider treasure to be winning the U.S. Open. I don't. Okay, then no. First of all, it's just about golf. Landsport. Well, no, but he got it into the water hazard several times. You don't want to do that.

But it made him end up not winning, but having a memorable, memorable. He became more famous than ever from hitting it in the drink so many times. Did you not see this film? That's not, no. That's not good. Was Morbius in it? Morbius is not in it, unfortunately. Yeah, so is that why you passed on?

Wait, are they going to put him in movies that he wasn't in? Yeah, retroactively. Trick people into, hey, you loved Morbius in Jurassic Park. Why don't you see him in his own movies? Hey, the Jurassic Park series, like, still? Yeah. They were still doing it. Well, now they're cloning humans in it.

I don't know. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. Who cares? You guys just talking movies in here? Oh, hey. I just walked by.

Who's this? I heard you guys talking movies. Hey. My name's Lisa. I was just walking by. Oh, hey, Lisa. Hey, Lisa. Do you know Jimmy?

Oh, hey, Jimmy. What's up, man? I seen you around. Hi. Hey. Yeah, I just heard you guys just generally talking movies. Is that all you're doing? Yeah, you want to get in on this?

We're just talking about movies, right? Jurassic Park and Morbius. Yeah, 101 Dalmatians? Yeah, that's one. Yeah, that's a movie. I saw the cartoon a long time ago. Oh, OK, I didn't. I just knew it was a movie.

Yeah, it's a movie. It's definitely a movie. You haven't seen any version of it? No. Hey, Lisa, can I ask you a question? Please. You heard about any treasure under the sea recently? Oh, yeah, Tom.

What? Where? Where? So much. Oh, there was a, OK, so the Mariana Trench? You know that one? Yeah, I mean recently. Oh, OK, so like.

Like recent treasure in the last week. Recent treasure in the last week. Yeah, I know there were a bunch of comp USA microchips that got dumped off a long beach. Does that count? I wish I had that kind of time, but. Yeah, maybe in 50 years. You could get them and then just see how.

I don't know if I'm going to live to see those microchips become treasure. Don't you have a microchip seller? You keep them in there where they can age in your cellar? A microchip seller? Where they age properly? What about a person who sells them? Do you have a microchip seller?

The seller, look, the seller. Microchip fence. If I could put that cellar in your backyard. Backyard. Come on, man. You don't have a backyard? I live on a boat. Your backyard is the world.

That's right. This doesn't sound like movies anymore, so I'm going to go. OK, thanks Lisa. Oh, oh, oh. I'm revealing you. Yeah, you too. Independence Day.

Yeah, the holiday, the holiday. Yeah, I've heard of both of those. Yeah. Are they making a. No, I meant the holiday, not the holiday, the movie. Are they making a smash up? Are they making a smash up? I thought you were saying another movie.

No, no, no. The holiday with Kate Winslet. Trying to get rid of Lisa. Jack Black. Oh, sorry, sorry. What's wrong with Lisa? Books, books, books, books. Sounds like you're not talking movies anymore.

World according to Garp the Book. Books. Wow, OK. Star with the novel. Wow, I'm real confused, but it feels like you've moved off of movies. Yeah, we're talking about books now. Yeah, we're talking about books.

Yeah, but great to meet you, Lisa. Great to meet you. Door opener closed. To get out, you should open it. Open, please. OK. And then once I'm out, door opener closed. Closed.

Closed. First time in class. All right, great. Thank you, Lisa. Hello, we installed silent doors in here, so that's what I really love. Oh, nice. The soft clothes.

Hey, one time a friend of mine was at a hotel and was in the courtyard of the hotel and overlooked some of the, you can see the rooms, you know, behind the, what am I trying to say? We were all, you sit in the courtyard, you look up and see the rooms. And so there's one guy. Someone else can't talk today.

Just one guy, it's me. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. That was mean. I don't know why I did that. No, but you were right. I'm having trouble with my words. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Use your words. I'm trying to. So my friend saw this guy. Like he was having a party in his room or something. And something was not to his liking. He called somebody up from the front desk and like got in an argument with them. And then the guy tried to slam the door,

but it was a soft clothes door. Yes. It was just when you did. Love it. Speaking of love it, Brock love it. I love secondhand stories. And I like to tell them. We're running out of time on this segment.

I don't know if we're going to solve your problem. I shouldn't have spent so much time talking about movies in the dentist. And your friend in this hotel. I actually did have a question. Yeah, radically. I don't regret that one. Lisa did say that there was all these microchips. Like if you were to grab them and then have them age

in a microchip seller, does that still count as treasure? Because it wasn't recently fished out of anywhere? Or does it like, can it age in a room? Yeah. Also, can you put it in some sort of pressurized container? Yeah. Like a vacuum. That ages it, yeah.

That ages it, you know, 50 years in one day. Yeah. Guys, guys. I wish you knew more about the treasure game and what makes treasure treasure. I'm going to learn. You can't fight the process of treasure. You can't just make treasure.

That's why it's treasure. Got it, got it. You don't think I, you don't think I'd just get a bunch of quarters and stuff like that and put them in a treasure. I'm worried that's almost what you're about to do. I almost called you shimmy. I take that as a compliment. Oh, you like shimmy.

I like shimmy. Well, look, we're running out of time. Normally in this type of segment, we would solve your problem somehow, but we've run out of time. Hey, that's all right. I mean, I feel like I had a thing. We talked about it a little bit.

I'm satisfied. Oh, OK, great. Great. Well, Brock Love is here. We need to go to a break. When we come back, we're going to have someone in the wellness area of business, I guess. The wellness area of business, of course.

And a little later, we have a musician. But when we come back, we'll also have a little more from Brock Love. We'll have Jack Quaid. Hello. We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this. Comedy bang bang. We're back.

Jack Quaid, the boys in home theaters, in home theaters now. Your own personal home theater. How far should people turn their subwoofer up when they watch this show? All the way. All the way. Oh, subwoofers? Yeah.

All the way. Oh, hell yeah. Is that like the bass? Is that the... Yeah, that's the bass. Yeah, our show, if you listen to it with the bass all the way up, it's a totally different show. Yeah.

We're just like different lines, we're saying. Yeah. And to dogs, who can hear that really high frequency? Completely different show. Also, that dude from the Oak Ridge Boys does a lot of dialogue. When he was like, okay, that's pretty great.

You know what's funny? You don't think it's going to be the guy that it is. When you see them singing. Yeah, yeah. It's just like a normal looking guy. It's the one guy with the long, long beard. Boys and men, you know who it's going to be. Of course.

Yeah, but Oak Ridge Boys, no. And then I saw a television show where the Oak Ridge Boys did that song and he got applause for going as low as he did. Sure. I mean, of course, you're going to go that low. Absolutely. Because you ain't doing it in person, it's exciting.

Yeah. You know about Plum in the Depths. Do you think any of them are still alive? I wonder. I hope not. We'll find out though. Oh, I forgot about your blood feud with the Oak Ridge Boys.

I hate them. We have to get Dornig's guest. Brock Lovett's here. She is in the wellness scepter? What am I trying to say? Man, I don't know. I've been talking about scepters with you. And I feel, what am I trying to say?

The wellness sphere? This is like a Twilight Zone where you interjected the word scepter so much. So many times that's all I can think of. And eventually it's all you can say. Yeah. Scepter, scepter, scepter, scepter. Welcome back to Comedy Scepter, Scepter.

Well, it's her first time on the show. Please welcome Tirna. Hi, Scott. Thank you so much. Hi, it's so great to meet you. I believe, thank you. The word that you're looking for is industry. Industry, specter?

No. Sector. James Bond? Does James Bond work in the spy specter? I'm not sure. I try not to watch things that are too scary. But what I noticed about you is that you hesitated over the word business, industry.

Because I think it's scepter. It's not. It's not. What did I try to say then? Old king. The business. This is legitimately concerning. Sector, sector, sector.

I said that already. But that's okay. I feel like one of the things that I've learned Sector. From being in this room. Tirna. Is that sometimes you don't have the words that you need. Well, I haven't had my words all day.

It's very difficult to talk this much for so many years without, you know, fucking up all the time. I get it. You might just start bleeding. Yeah. Oh. You might? Yeah.

Yeah. Tirna. I hope that's not great. Has that ever happened to you? Oh, all the time. Nice to meet you. Oh, hi. This is Jack Wade.

He's from... We've met before. Sweeting cartoons. Yep. And it was nice then and it's nice again now. Oh. Where did you meet Jack before? I'm so sorry.

I don't... We met in two swimming pools. What? Next to each other. Oh, and we like met over the, I don't know. Over the concrete? Over the concrete? Divider?

It was made of bark actually. Oh. It wasn't concrete because too many little kids hit their heads and lost their memories. You know, I think I actually do remember this because I thought it was strange that, I mean, there was two like equally sized pools that were like right next to each other

with a separator. And I feel like, you know, like... Oh, well, there were so many people in both pools. It didn't seem... But it was a COVID and a non-COVID pool? It was a super spreader. So that you could get it if you wanted. Oh, I forgot about that super spreader event

that I was invited to. Oh, yeah, you ended up going to that? Yeah, yeah, it's like, come join us for our super spreader event. And I said, I have RSVPDS. And I guess so did Tierna. Tierna, I want to... Can I ask you more?

Oh, nice to see you. I recognize you from commercials. Thank you. You've seen my commercials? Oh, yeah. Yeah. We've never talked about this. What are you advertising?

I advertise my services. Do you have treasure that needs finding? Or do you have treasure you'd like me to find? Seems more like, do you know where treasure is? And I'll go in there and find it and keep it for myself? Isn't that what you're busy with? Do you bring it back to the families? If I find it by myself,

I'm just out there looking for treasure. Of course, I keep all of it. You keep all of it. Sometimes I give stuff to a museum. Sure, yeah. If it belongs in a museum. Yeah, so do you? Who doesn't belong in a museum?

Wait, I had a question. Please. I want to know more about these kids that hit their heads and lost their memories. Oh, it was a big to-do. Like amnesia? Talked about it. Yeah, she did too.

Who heard these kids? Oh, man, there were so many children from all over the province. They all hit their heads, lost their memories, and then swimming pools were outlawed for 25 years. You said province. Is this in Canada? This is in Canada.

Are we in Canada? Not currently. Boy, I fell asleep on the plane, I guess. Where did you think you were going on the plane? I thought I was going home. And then right back around? I do go to the border often. That's where I get several types of tulips.

You can't buy them all within your own country. Like fireworks. You know, when you go to Indiana for fireworks because they don't sell them in your state? That's who I am with different types of flowers. When's the last time you got married? Last time. Okay, what day is it today?

I'm worried that Tierna is one of these kids who hit her head on the pool. I think so, but just, I think she sounds cool. Really? No, she sounds cool. No one's arguing that she does sound cool. Honestly, she looks cool. She makes her sense of style and just everything about her.

I sound and look itchy, if you ask me, because I am. I feel it and I know it. So there are a few things in life that you know more than whether or not you have an itch. That's true, I think you have one. You're going to figure it out. You'll figure it out fast. Unless you have leprosy, right?

Well, hey, jealousy. That's how I feel whenever somebody has leprosy and I wish I did as well. But you know, if wishes were horses, we'd all be cowboys. So we have to figure out a way to be content within ourselves. And that's what I'm here to eventually talk about. Okay, yeah, interesting Tierna. Oh my God, guys.

Guys, she needs help. What? I think she's on a roll. Not with being cool, because she looks, she's so cool. She's very cool, very angelic. God. The sunglasses? Damn.

And when she took off the sunglasses, that made her even cooler. And then when she put the sunglasses on her head, I was like, it can't get cooler. Yeah, but then she put them on her feet and I was like, that's even cool. I thought it was going to be done. It totally worked.

Yeah, it worked. She pulled it off. Tierna, so you're here to talk about wellness and you know about this? Oh, boy. I know about it like I know the back of the hand that my tiger accidentally bit when I was feeding him. And the answer is real well,

because I studied it in the hospital and I am still doing fine. Thank you for not asking. Oh, you didn't want to be asked about this. Never, never ask a woman about a tiger in industries or industries. Never have, never will. Thank you.

And but really what I'm here to say is that when you're scared like of a witch in your cabinet, the only thing that will solve the fear is if you open where you get the cereal from and you say, do your worst, grab me by the throat, take me to the underworld, but fly me first class because if I'm going to hell, I want to arrive in style and inside out.

So when the witch brings you there, at least you have a story, right? Have you ever shown up? Tierna, would you excuse us for a second? Oh, sure. I'll be over here. My hot air balloon is malfunctioning. I'm going to tinker with it.

I totally remember this day where I was at the pool because I remember she looked so cool. At the pool, she was wearing like. Oh, even in a bathing suit? Yeah. No, she was wearing like a full on Tiger's Pelt as a bathing suit. Oh, shit.

That's awesome. And I remember when she hit her head, it was like it was really bad. You saw the side. I saw it when you hit her head? Yeah. Oh, no. How bad was it?

I'm actually surprised she remembers me from the incident. Oh, it was bad because she did a full on, she did a full on dive from a roof onto the divider. She said, I'm going to hit the divider. And we're all like, you're so cool. She wanted to hit the divider. She was so cool. I thought she could pull it off.

Quick question. How many floors is this building? And is there a ladder to the tippity-toop? It's 56 floors. Lucky number 56. Unfortunately, there is not a ladder. And I wouldn't feel good about you getting out there on a ladder.

Yeah, I don't want you on the tippity-toop without anything right now. OK, well, snooze you lose. And you know what? Bygones are big on. So don't worry about it. I'll see you at the tube. At the movies?

So when did you, I'm trying to ascertain when you became interested in the wellness sector. I got it right. Was this before your accident or after? I'm not sure what accident you're referring to. That day of the pool that where you met Jack. Oh, you mean our chance encounter where we became good friends

and he infiltrated my dreams. You remember that? I've always been interested in wellness because there's few things that can make you cry like being healthy. So I think. Onions, sad stories. Onions, sad story and just general blood health.

So if your blood is good and healthy, you'll cry every day. And that keeps the doctor. Is that what you suggest is to cry every day? If I suggested to you to go inside of your own feelings, Scott, what flavor would emerge? My own feelings about regarding what's happening right now. And I see you've posed a question to my question,

which is the fifth step to wellness. Really? Don't ray me fa so. Don't ray me fa so. I'm trying to give this right. None of those were the notes. Yes, sir, you in the corner. How many?

That's me in the spotlight. How many steps are there to wellness? Well, there's at least five, but there's usually two. At least five, but usually two. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. First step, get well.

The second step, be well. Okay, guys, I'm remembering more about the day. Excuse us for one second. Absolutely. I have just dropped a lot of salt. Oh, okay, good. Yeah, yeah. I'm remembering everything's so much clearer now.

She was talking to me about blood health. She was a blood specialist. She's a blood specialist, like Morbius? Yes, like Morbius. And she was an expert roof diver. Oh, and this was like her big show. Like this was like the big... Where she was combining both of them?

She, yeah, exactly. She was like, I'm going to get my blood on the roof. Was she like doing like a backyard circuit or something? Yeah, it was a backyard circuit. She said, like, oh, man, I was just in Toronto. That's where Canada comes from. Province. So yeah, province.

Yeah, so she's... This is all making sense. It's crazy. Why are you... Quiet. While you're... Yeah, you, I'm holding my hand up and saying quiet. Listen, Jack, while you're remembering things so well...

Yeah. Was everything shiny at the bottom of those pools? Dude, come on. Not now. Seriously. I mean... Wet cash? Yeah, sure.

There was some wet cash and a big box that was shining. And it was like... And it was like, it was like glinting in the sun. It was made of gold. It was like the lid kind of floating up in the house. Yeah, it was just begging for someone to lift it up a little bit, but nobody would. Not tonight ones.

Well, I was in the COVID section of the pool. So I think the non-COVID section maybe had the oysters. But anyway, I don't know. Maybe if we can maybe go down there and find that treasure, we can bring back her memory. Maybe help her out. I like the finding the treasure part. Ask me a question.

Yeah, hi. Hi, sorry. Hello. Tirna. How can we help you? Oh, thank you so much. I'll have a you pick two with a soup and a Caesar salad. Okay, she thinks that she's at...

What is it? Pandora's bread. I love Pandora's bread. I like Pandora's bread, but the playlists are all over the place. It's like, did you even pick go off the song I gave you? Okay, you're thinking of Pandora at this point. I can't tell what I'm thinking. So you certainly can't.

I wish Lisa were here because Pandora makes me think of Avatar. Wait, hold on. Maybe we can summon Lisa. Lisa! Let's all join in. Five easy pieces. No, she came so quickly. Well, I heard somebody say Avatar.

That's a movie, right? Oh, Avatar. Yeah, yeah. Go for Jimmy. Cool. Two different movies, actually. Oh, I wouldn't know that. I haven't seen him.

You haven't seen either? No. Oh, and Jimmy's here. Huh. I heard go for Jimmy. Go for Jimmy. Hey, Lisa, were you also invited to that Super Spreader event about a few months back?

Oh, yeah, I tried to go to all of them. Yeah, okay. Did you mean someone named Tirna? Oh, yeah. Tirna, look out. You met Tirna too? She's the coolest. Yeah.

She is really cool. She gave me a locket full of her own hair. Her own hair? Wow. Yeah. Okay. Do you still have it? Do you remember?

Yeah, let me go to my car and see if I can find it. Oh, yeah, please. Yeah, come right back, though. Before you do, did you grab that treasure that was in the bottom of that pool? Oh, no can do. Sorry. Bye.

Oh, no. God. She gave me a whole toenail. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to leave during that. Oh, no, no, no, no. I feel like I overheard a confidence. No, no, Tirna, we want you here. We're there.

Let's all go around and share one-on-one-half secrets. Oh. So you tell a full secret, and then you say the half of the next one. Back half or? Okay. Or? Dealer's choice, which is me,

and I say you get to choose. Okay, great. That works out. Jack, you want to tell a secret and a half? Secret and a half, sure. I love the smell of my own farts. That's a full one. Give us a happy.

I've killed. Oh, okay. Okay, now do I finish his? Yeah, do we complete the other person? Well, it depends. If you are sharing the sandwich, go ahead. But if you're, if you want your own. Got it.

I think we're sharing in the sandwich. Okay, I've killed Natalie Kidman. Wow. And then the half. Somebody called Deadline to tell him the news. No, he did the half, so now he is. Oh, I'll finish it. Now I have to do a full one.

A full one, all on your own. Yeah. All right. I once found some dry treasure and I kept it. What? What? Land treasure or just dry treasure? How dry?

Just dry treasure. Yeah. Dry land treasure. What? What? A stunning renovation. Well, where did you find it? On the ground.

Just on the ground? Like in the middle of the street? Under the ground? Middle of the street. No, I found it. I found the ground. What happened? Things will get brown there if you go down there.

Under the ground. I love that song. That was in the book version of Little Mermaid. Oh, right. That song. It expanded on it. It teaches kids about entropy. Things will get brown there.

They gotta learn. Where did you find this treasure? This ground treasure? It was, I found it back from some old ghost town. I was there. Sorry, I didn't want to scare you. I don't like ghosts. I don't like ghosts.

I'm very afraid of ghosts. I ain't afraid of none of them. Oh, you should be. It's bad for your blood pressure. To not be? To not be scared of ghosts is so bad for your blood pressure. Hey, Tierna, what's your last name? What's the last smarg?

Smarg? I wonder if that actually is her last name. What's the last name? You went to the doctor. Did you? And the doctor checks your pulse. He checks my what? He checks your pulse.

Okay. Is it a doctor? And then. I have to check pulses now? And then the doctor. I think she said post. And then the doctor checks your post. He puts bills on it even though it says not to.

And then the doctor measures your hat size. And then he asks, are you afraid of ghosts? This is your yearly checkup. Wow, Tierna. Damn. Do I need to tell? Okay. I'm actually, I'm the real first person who went to the moon.

Wow. Wow. They're so old. Yeah. Well, the thing is, is the people we all thought were the original, but they never went. Do you know their names? Neil Armstrong.

You seem like you were caged on it. Could you name one other person? Buzz Aldrin? There you go. You were going to say light year and I knew it. My favorite astronaut was always the rest. Buzz Aldrin rounds out the cast. It's like a deadline.

It's definitely a deadline. And others. What's your half a secret? My half a secret is one time when I went to Yosemite National Park. Okay. Then Tierna, do you complete this? I'll complete that. Do you complete me?

Lisa. I tried. Hey, you guys talking about movies again? Oh, we were talking about Jerry McGuire. We were talking about, we were talking about Deadline, which is kind of like a. Oh yeah. Deadline talks about all kinds. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I hear about most movies. So we can mention sources of movie news and you'll appear. You can name literally anything to do with a movie and I'll probably have heard about it. Film stock? Yeah. Sure. Aspect ratio? Yeah, that's what they make the movie with.

Best boy. Oh, I love him. Grip. 70 millimeter. Too many is too enough. Dolly track. Hey, Lisa, I'm turning into Tierna. Are you related to Tierna?

You guys look very cool. There was something in my car that I left in McGuire. I gotta go get it, right? Get that locket full of hair. Wait guys, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I think we're all in the same page here. It's okay. Okay, I'm remembering so much more now.

Oh, what happened? They were twins. Oh, twins. We are not on the same page. It was Tierna and Lisa's smarg. Here's what I thought was going on. What? I thought either Lisa or Tierna were pulling a Mrs. Doubtfire.

Yeah. And they're going to try to rob us, right? Oh, I hadn't gotten that far. Or are they trying to like fall in love with one of us? Maybe. You're trying to be our caregiver? I need a caregiver for sure. Who here is sick?

Who here is sick? Who's this? Who's this speaking? This is Tierna. Tierna. Oh, Tierna. Who here is sick? I slightly shake your voice.

Who are you supposed to be? Oh, I'm the host of the show. My name. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're on a podcast right now. I didn't know if this was like a Greg Kinnear meets Joel, the guy from Talksoup. What's his name?

The two guys from Talksoup. Joel McKay. Yeah. Did they both do Talksoup? They both do Talksoup. Yeah. They should have combined their energy. God, where?

Just had one of them. Scott, actually, where is Greg Kinnear? Why isn't he here? Why isn't he here? Why isn't he here right now? Yeah, can you summon him? I'm actually upset about this. Yeah, I don't like to have too many ghosts on this.

Oh, no, Greg Kinnear's still with us. Yeah. No, Greg, very much still with us. You don't like to have too many ghosts on it. Too many. Like, even one is pushing it, as far as I'm concerned. Can we talk to Lisa? I don't know.

Who's that? Lisa! Lisa, I'm just screaming. Okay, Tierna's run out of the room. I'm screaming. And Lisa's not a baby. I'm screaming. Oh, hey, you guys talk about a movie or something?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bruce's Millions. Cool. Oh, yeah. Woo-hoo. The train coming out the camera. Yeah, you know, craft service.

I wouldn't know. I mean, yeah, I heard that. Yeah, singing in the rain. You guys just talking about movie stuff again? Yeah, yeah, talking about movies. Did you want me to get the thing from my car? Yeah, why have you not brought it back? Well, you keep saying it's like hair or a toenail

or something. What are you getting from your car? She's got hair. Tierna's hair in a locket. She knows how to use it. Listen, how far away is your car? Oh, I had to park it overflow. The main lot was full.

Oh, no, earwulf overflow. No, she'll never get it. So many podcasts going on today. OK, well, should I go? Or you seem to be calling the shots. Do you want to say who you want here? I don't know. I can't quite tell.

I feel like there's a mystery we have to solve here. And I don't know what we need to do. This is going to be a very frustrating experience for the listeners, because we didn't solve Brock's mystery by the end of his segment. I don't think we're solving Tierna and Lisa's mystery by the end of her segment. I have theories, though.

We have theories about both. But we don't have any evidence, as they say. We have plenty of theories. But we do need to take a break. Oh, wait. Tierna's back. Lisa, what's that? Wait, Lisa?

I just had a chill just ran up my spine real fast like a mouse. It's usually how it goes. Is there a chance it was a mouse? It was probably a mouse, yeah. Is this Stuart Little? Oh, Lisa, Lisa, you're back. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I just mentioned a movie. Oh, here. Yeah, what's going on? You're tearing us apart, Lisa. That's also a movie reference. Yeah, no, I'm sticking around. Oh, cool. All right.

By the way, guys, have you noticed that she stopped running in and out of the room? I know. I feel like it's gotten frantic. She's just turning around in a circle. They should have met each other by now. I actually just put a little dog bed over here in the corner. I just got to curl up into it.

Oh, OK. Well, that's what that is. I thought that was a mouse bed. Anyway. OK. Well, look, we're going to take a break. OK. Man, what an uncertain note we're leaving this segment on.

I think this is like that. What's that James Wan movie that just came out with the backwards woman? Malignant. Malignant. This is a malignant situation. Wait, we just said a movie. God damn it.

Yeah, I'm staying. Hey. You'll never be rid of me. Are you a malignant, Lisa? I don't know. I don't see that. Or is tearing of the malignant. I think she's a malignant.

Lock the doors. Somebody here is a malignant. Lock all the doors. We have a malignant here. Now, we're going to turn out the lights. And it was a malignant. It's a terrible idea. There's only one man who can solve this problem,

Dr. Michael Morbius. Oh, man, if only he were here. Oh, man, I wish I'd seen any of these movies. We could put him in here. We could put him in the podcast. Like we put him in Jaws. Is this the type of thing that I could help with? Who's this?

It's me, Moon Knight. Oh, close. Oh, close. It's Gracie Moon Knight. Yeah, close. Do you need any help with the client? Sorry, Lisa, you're leaving because we're talking about TV? OK, goodbye.

Yeah. She malignanted. She just turned right around. Oh, my God. But I'll stay. OK, look. We need to take a break. OK.

We're not going to get to the bottom of this. It's good for your health to take a break. It obviously is. And, Jack, I know you have to go, right? Yeah, I got a bail. OK, well. It's too confusing. Oscarizing, you're going to go.

What are you shimmying? I can stay. Oh, thank God. Wait, you can finally stay now? This room is starting to feel like that other pool. It really is. It's very crowded. Oh, my God.

Well, look, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have a musician. Jack's going to go. But we'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Jack Quaid, of course, from The Boys Had to Leave.

Of course. And Brock Lovett is staying. And the Malignant Tierna slash Lisa's here. Keep your face wet. That's my number one tip. Now that I agree with. Right. It's dolphin logic.

There might be treasure under there. Dolphins are the smartest mammals. They are. They police the sharks. Fucking ACAB, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, ACAB. Do you pronounce it ACAB? ACAB.

I get too confused with Affleck. Well, maybe that's because you watch too much TV. I got to say, that sounds elegant to me. ACAB. ACAB. Oh, excuse me, officer. ACAB. Anyway.

Anyway. Yep. Anyway, singing in the rain. The next person coming on the show. Uh-oh. Yes, no. She's the host of this guy. Are you taking him?

Terry, yeah, please. It's best for, I think for your. Say more. Self esteem if I do it. Yeah. So you know this person from music in New Orleans where they made music. But they died.

But they're back. They died? They died. Oh, no. Is this a ghost? Yeah, and I'm scared of ghosts. But I'd love to meet Dr. John. And such a nightmare.

Hey, how's everybody going? How's everybody going? We got fusion under the moon. Dr. John's famous catchphrase. How's everybody going? I love that cage in lingo. How's everybody going? He would say it at the beginning of every concert, too.

You go down to Bourbon Street at like 12 o'clock. You hear a lot of how's it going. How are y'all going? Well, I even say I forgot. I can't talk today. How's it going? I believe you. How's it going?

How's it going? The ghost is having trouble talking today. Yeah. Hey, the ghost of Dr. John. What's going on? So great to meet you. You passed away relatively recently. Yep, relatively recently.

You remember when? You know, I don't remember because I was passing away. Because you don't remember the day of your own death. No, it just suddenly happens to you, right? No, it's just like, oh, oh, spaghettios. And you were out of here. You don't remember the day you died? No, no, I don't.

What's the last day you remember? Yeah, last day I remember I was, I don't know. I was on a roof and I had just had like a nice beignet in my hand. Oh. And I was, and I was going, get out of my, get off my property to some kids that kind of crossed over the wall.

I got a big wall on my property. And I said, get out of here. And I had to get on the roof because they were so tall. And that's the last thing I remember before. You know, I woke up in this astral plane. Oh my God. So you died somehow being on a roof. Somehow being on a roof, yeah.

Listen to it. He's so good at turning anything into music. Yeah, that's one of my talents. Hey, Dr. John. Yeah. I don't know if you're aware of this since you died, but Popeyes came out with a chicken sandwich and just crushed everybody.

Oh. Yeah. That's so nice to hear. You can have it spicy or not, but why bother? Oh, man. Does he have a connection to Popeyes that I'm not remember? Not, not actually, not particularly, but I'm just happy to do it well.

Other than singing the song on the commercials. Yeah. Other than that, no. Other than that. None. What was that song Dr. John? It was like this. It was like, it was like, kids get off my lawn.

Oh, he's stuck. My name is Dr. John, and everyone's better eat these sandwiches. See, I see this a lot in my work. People, they get hung up on a particular earth happening in their life, and they can't move past it. Like you, Greg Keneer. You're still stuck hosting Talksuit. Oh, man, I love Greg Keneer.

Do you know anyone that got hung up on The Happening, the movie by M. Night Shyamalan? Oh, no. This is Lisa's territory. I don't know if I've seen that. Oh, no, she's malignant. What do you, what do you say about it? That was a quick one.

Oh, we're talking about The Happening. Yeah, I heard it. Where the air attacks people. The plants got mad. The plants got mad. Yeah, the plants got mad. Everybody. What's up, John?

Hey. Oh, this is the ghost of Dr. John. Yeah, you might, you a movie buff by any chance. I'm kind of a movie lean. Yeah, you're a movie lean. What you mean, Disney movie? I was. It was called Princess and the Frog.

Catch it, damn New Orleans. They told me I'd be either the princess or the frog, but then I was just a disembodied voice. Oh, that is rude. Yeah, and that's why I'm here today. Oh, that's why you're here today. Yeah, I mean, I got some unfinished business. Oh, sure.

Will this help you ascend into the homeland? Yeah, into the homeland. Everybody's naked there, but nobody cares. So here's the deal. Walt Disney Corporation. Walt Disney Corporation told me I'd be either the princess or the frog in Princess and the Frog. I've been up to a lot lately.

Yeah. A lot of tricky business, especially in Florida. Oh, man. Don't even get me started. I am up to date on current events. I just can't remember the day that I died. Okay, you should just go check. I read the paper, the ghost paper every day.

Oh, yeah. Is that about ghosts or just for ghosts? It's about ghosts, but like there's a little column in the back that says, you know what? In the mortal world, this happened. Like I know about like January 6th. Instead of obituaries, do they have births? Yeah, they're like, this person was born today.

They're going to cause some shit. Eventually they'll get here. When ghosts get new agents and stuff? Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of breaking stories about like, oh, man. They got poached by UTA. Sometimes they just say when someone's been offered a role, which is wild to be like, not even accepted.

Yeah, it hasn't even closed. Just like they've been offered the role. Do you think that's to shame them into accepting it? Yeah, like they're like, oh shoot, the ghost paper reported it. I got to do it. Yeah. Were you ghosts all upset when that movie Casper came out? Oh, pissed off.

Yeah, in the sixth sense. Even though you were alive when that came out. I was not currently dead when Casper was out. I was mad when I became a ghost. I was like, wait a second, this is offensive. That was the first thing you thought of when you came out. Yeah, when I died, I did not remember. What happened to me on that roof?

And then I said to myself, Casper was a little bit rough. Yeah. Didn't age well. And then I was dead. Well, you were upset that it didn't age well. It didn't age well for ghosts. I mean, obviously at the time, everyone loved it. But then with the benefit of hindsight, you look back at it.

You're like, wait a minute. You couldn't make it today. This is a family movie about a dead child. It would be real. True. That is kind of strange. And that's why I want to sue the Walt Disney Corporation. Oh, that's why you come here today.

For many reasons, princess and the frog, Dr. Teeth in general stealing my uvra. That's right. Disney owns the Muppets. Disney owns the Muppets. Now I'm up on current events. Can you please help me? Do you know any lawyers?

I could absolutely take your case and stuff it. Oh, man, I don't have a lot of confidence about this. I'm a great orator. Taking a real Johnny Paycheck approach. OK. What about you, Mr. Diverman? Do you know lawyers? You must have treasure lawyers.

You must have treasure lawyers. Yeah, of course. They're treasure lawyers. And what do they work out? They work out whether you can keep the treasure or whether you have to throw it back in the sea. Yeah, if there's a percentage of the treasure that I get to keep, if I can keep the whole thing,

if I have to share the treasure with anybody, this is boring. Listen. Yeah, not as boring as what I would say. What are you a doctor of again? Yeah, I'm a doctor of Zion. Oh, right. Yeah.

PhD in Zydeco. I had five years at the Zydeco School. It's where they make you stand on one leg and they give you an accordion and then just stuff like five beignets in your mouth and you cannot chew them. And you just got to wait until they dissolve for five years. That's where they stuff five in there.

You're obviously from New Orleans because you mentioned beignets twice. Oh, can you not tell? I'm going to do it a third time, beignets. Oh, I am. He is definitely from there. Wait until I get to Po Boy. You mentioned Bourbon Street, too.

Yeah, that's a good point. Let's all check this out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Why don't you put DZ after your name? Dr. John Dizza? When it was DZ, like Dizza? Doctor of Zion.

Doctor of Zion. I follow you. Thank you, dear enough. Thank you. You're welcome. This woman with an obvious head injury is following this. I feel like I understand only the things most people don't. And it's what keeps me going.

You ever been to a grocery store and someone's like, where's the cereal? And then you're like, a tornado is coming, but you were right. Yes. It's all about the hidden tornadoes. Lisa, anchors away. Anchors away. A tornado, like a twister?

Oh, no. Don't get too excited. That's not you. Hey, Lisa. Hey, what's up? Twister. We just mentioned twister. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I saw the movie. Yeah. Hey, did you get that hair you had? Oh, I had forgotten what I was doing. Yeah. Do you need me to? Can you just tell me? To be fair, the overflow parking today is crazy. Yeah.

When I pulled in in my ghost car, it was. You have a ghost car? I have a ghost car. It's got, it's bedazzled. It's got several feathers on it. Several. Several. Oh, I saw that.

I thought that was a big bird. Yeah. So that's kind of what I'm going for. Every time I start to go, you guys call me back. So yeah, I'm having a hard time getting there. That's fair. We have to give her the time to go to parking lot seat. She's in overflow.

Don't forget. Like I got a little closer this time. Hey, real quick, in Groundhog Day, when at the very, well, the very. Why, it sounds like you haven't seen a lot of movies. Oh, that's a great movie about a, about a golfer. At the very end of the movie. You're thinking of a comedy show.

Yeah, Groundhog Day is about a golfer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who had body dysmorphia? I get my rodent movies confused. I did before I died. I am after I died. Well, Bill Murray can play the piano so well at the end. Yeah.

And he's like, blowing everybody away. And then the piano teacher they learned piano from. Yeah. Says that's my student. Yeah. Even though at that point. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah.

Because you want to come in earlier in the day and she said, okay, well, you want to take lessons? Show me what you know. And he plays as good as he played in the concert. And she goes, well, I could teach you one thing. At the end, maybe like go, bam, bam. That's more of a suggestion. Yeah.

I mean, she shouldn't be taking any lessons. For her to be so proud and say, that's my student life. Here's my theory. Come on. Here's my other theory. She's also being Groundhog Day. She's the one character who knows what's happening, has been experiencing it in real time along with Bill Murray.

And she lets it slip right at the very end. At the very end, she's like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have said. You've noticed how she gets embarrassed after she says it? And shakes her head and says, it looks at the camera and goes, I shouldn't have said that. No, I did not notice that. Are we just pitching on the movie Groundhog Day? Yeah.

You got any pitches? Well, I gotta say, it's not out of the question for someone to add a ba-da-ba on a piano riff. That's what I'm saying. Like sometimes I'm playing the piano and I'm like, you know what this needs? A ba-da-ba. I'm loving it.

I was going to pitch that Bill Murray had to write a hippo everywhere he went. Just, you know? Why not? Okay. Like maybe there's a specialty saddle that they made. Yeah, like a hippo. Yeah, I don't really know.

I would like to see that saddle. Right? Well, actually, I mean, if we're just, you know, just a specialty hippo saddle, you say. Throwing stuff at the wall. Maybe it's just a movie about a hippo saddle that somebody has to build and then they have to like, you know. But it comes to life or just hip-saddle?

Yeah, sure. Sure, sure. I mean, hey, there's no bad ideas. Absolutely. So the hippo saddle will come to life. When someone says there's no bad ideas, they think it's a bad idea. Yeah, I'm just trying to be supportive in the room.

By saying there's no bad ideas, implying that it's a bad idea? I'm going to go to my car. Wait a minute, Lisa. Bring back that hair. Hold on a second, Lisa. I got a question. Do you work in the movies or are you just like a movie leaning in parts?

She doesn't even see them. No, I refuse. Oh. It's real. It's real bad for you. I need one connection to the Walt Disney Corporation. She can't even watch movies because she's always has her back to him because she's the malignant.

Are you a malignant? I am an attorney for Walt Disney Incorporated. For them? Yeah. Why is that surprising? Oh my god. Somebody who sells the Mickey Mouse to be a lawyer for Walt Disney.

It's not that. It's that we're looking for someone to sue the Walt Disney Corporation. You need to defend this. Yeah. You ought to say my greatest enemy right now. Oh, well, I don't feel like your enemy. I feel like my enemy.

No, I mean, we're cordial. But besides that, you know, I don't. Yeah, well, there they are. Lisa, bring back that hair. OK, I'll go get the hair. My theory is if we stuff the hair back into the head injury, yeah, it'll solve everything because suddenly the air won't be getting into the head.

I've been in this exact same situation before. How do you, Dr. John? Oh, yeah, me and leave on him. Hi, Tierna. Tierna. Hi, Tierna. Hi, Tierna. I'm confused at why you're struggling so hard to try

and find a solution. Why you can't be content within yourself? Have you watched movies, Tierna? Yeah, all of them. So Lisa's the malignant. She always has her back to the movie. And Tierna must be a defense lawyer, so a prosecution lawyer that I could use to sue.

I told you I would represent you, but you rejected me. You slotted me out of the sky like a bad helix. You were saying insane things. Please represent me. Please represent the ghost of Dr. John. OK, I'm scared of you, but I don't know who. Is he a malignant head injury person? This trial will rival the viewership of the Debbie Her trial.

Like, a malignant, represented two sides, one of which is the one that's the corporation. How you kidding me? And one of it is a ghost of a dead Zydeco musician? Yeah, and I'm going to go and bop, bop, bop, with my piano the whole time. And then Shimi's there? Shimi's there.

Yeah, I'm there for sure. Yeah. I mean, this is gold. Shimi's a carousel. Does Shimi say gold? Sorry, punk. This is land gold. This is land gold.

Forget it. Televised land gold. Forget it. Oh, OK. Well, I think we finally found everything to tie it all together. Oh, right. I guess if you needed that, to tie it up.

We've solved several myths around. Well, look, guys, we're running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is a little something called plugs. Ooh, hey, that was. Me. No, no, no, no, Dr. John. That was not me.

Oh. Never mind. Must have been recorded on the day of my death. Any song must be recorded on the day of my death. Yeah. I like that as trivia, though, if you play a song, and then who was that? And it's one of the people that's there?

Oh, yeah. That would be amazing. Yeah. They should know. That was Afro Duck Sounds with Oinoi Plugtastic Funk. Thank you to them. And what are we plugging? Brock, love it.

What do you want to plug? Well, I mean, I guess if you know of any treasure, let me know. You can't just plug treasure. I'm plugging people telling me where treasure is. OK. I'll allow it. I'll allow it. You have to.

All right. I do want to. I want to see my plug time to someone else. What? To shimmy? Wait. Yeah, your mom. OK.

Hey, everybody. You know this guy, Paul F. Tonkens? Oh, yeah, we know him. 01:28:18,040 --> 01:28:19,320 Paul F. Tonkens, shimmy. He's got some shows coming up you all want to know about. Can you even get to them? I mean, you're trapped here in the studio.

If I can. Hey, if I can, I'll make it for sure. And if you see me there, say hello, shimmy, and give me a handshake. How old people know you, shimmy? Because we obviously have seen you. Are you going to show up and then leave? I've been showing up and leaving a bunch throughout the entire show. All right.

But look, here's how it goes. Here's how it goes. OK, this is a good way to start a plug. I like this. Here's how it goes. How are you going? Friday. Hey, everybody.

How are you going? Nice. Friday, July 1st, Lapkus and Tonkens. Paul F. Tonkens and Lauren Lapkus doing a two person improv show in front of a live audience that will also be live streamed to the world via Dynasty Typewriter. The world. Then Sunday, July 3rd, Paul F. Tonkens hosts his variety show,

Varietopia at Loudroom in Highland Park. This one was delayed, was it not? It was because of COVID. Because of the performer having COVID. Yeah, not just generally. Well, both. OK, yeah. Well, this is very exciting.

The one caused the other. The latter caused the other. Go to paulftonkens.com slash live for tickets. Wow, amazing. OK. Bye. See you later, shimmy. I hope that was all right.

That was OK. No, we love shimmy around these. These parts, of course. He is lovable. He is a nice guy. Plus, people will know him because of his t-shirt that says shimmy. Yeah.

And then on the back it says shimmy, which was Wu-Tang Clan merch that he just adapted for. Right. Yeah. Oh, I love the Wu-Tang Clan. Do you, Dr. J? Big Wu-Tang fan. Really?

Yeah. What's your favorite track? Oh, man. I love. What's that? Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with. Hey, he knows his stuff. No, I know.

What's your favorite part of New Orleans? Ah, it's Bourbon Street. And beignets. That's number four. That's number four on the Beignet Clock. Oh, right. Yeah, I'll happen now. I got a lawyer.

That's at my leg now. Do you want to plug anything? Yeah, I want to plug the boy's season three. Mid-season check-in? Mid-season check-in. You're going to see some butts. And then Star Tune Cartoon. Sometime at some place will be available.

Yeah, there's also a podcast called Hero Club Dungeons and Dragons. Jack Quaid produces it. That's part of it. Oh, he was here before? Yeah, he left right before you got here. Yeah, it happens a lot. Is he avoiding you? He's avoiding me because I keep haunting him with my zydecoat.

Oh, that tracks you. Yeah, I'm playing accordion right in his ear tonight. Oh, that's rude. Oh, he does not like it. No wonder he's so tired and can't talk. So he cannot speak at all. And I mean, since you're known for playing the piano, probably that accordion playing is terrible.

I know, but that's five years in accordion school, man. It's five beignets in my mouth. What is an accordion but just a sideways squishy piano? Yeah, exactly. You've got to pump yourself. If there is a note on an accordion that if you play it, you will shit your pants. Whoa, it's a low note.

Oh, man. Hero Club is that podcast. Hero Club, check it out on everything. Check it out. Now, Tirna, am I talking to? Yeah, why not? Okay, what do you want to plug? I just want to plug that everyone stays glued to their seats

and watch, you can watch Apple TV. There's a show called Physical. That's the opposite of Mental. That's how you can remember it. And there's some episodes that'll be interesting to you and then some that we don't know what happens. Okay, good plug. I've only seen some of them

and I'll let you choose which ones you watch. Okay. And Star Tunes Tiny Desk is coming back for season three on the Paramount Plus Network. I think, we don't know when, but it'll happen. Oh, can't not wait. Stay glued to your butts. How not wait?

Stay glued to your butts. I want to plug the, look, the CBB tour. Look. Look, we're starting in about a month. Why, man? Get up off of your asses and go to your assless computer and buy tickets for that.

Nice. I want to highlight the Los Angeles show, the CBB World Show. We've finalized who the three shows are that are opening for it. Yeah, I may announce it at some point, but you're going to be very happy with those. So that's-

Tell us right now. Tell me. No, I got to keep it in reserve for a little while longer. Give Dr. John a sclucy. Yeah, he deserves it. He's dead. Yeah. We're doing a regular comedy bang bang there,

but also three CBB World Shows are opening up for it. That's a very special one, but we're doing so many shows. We're doing Minneapolis, Madison. I'm not going to list them all, but I'm putting together all of the lineups for that right now, and they're very, very good. So you're going to want to go see it.

Head over to CBBworld.com slash tour, and you can buy tickets for any of those. And while you're there, if you subscribe for a year, you get two months free. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Take one hand, put it up. Take the other, put it down. Open up the bag.

Gonna make a box. It's time to start to close it. But don't close it. Open up the block bag. Open up the block bag. Open up the block bag. Open your heart. Close the world.

Open up the block. All right, that was definitely me. Yeah. Oh, come on. Under your pseudonym of X-pats? Yeah. Yeah. That was plug yourself clean.

Thanks so much to X-pats, AKA Dr. John The Ghost of Dr. John. Yeah, yeah, I have many monocles. Do you say monocles? Monocles. I thought he said molecules. If you have two monocles, just get glass. No, I'm dead.

I got no molecules. I got several monocles and I'm many monocules. Yeah. What were you gonna say, Lisa? Or, sorry, Tierra. Oh, I came back with a walk of hair. Oh, you got the hair? Yeah, I just want to show you.

Got the hair. You got the hair. All right, do you mind maligneting yourself? Yeah. Okay. Okay, bye. Bye. Okay, guys, let's stuff this hair back into Tierra's head.

Will that fix the malignant? Because I need the malignant. No, the malignant. But it'll just fix Tierra's brain problems. Oh, all right, I guess. Tierra? Yeah. Are you ready to go back to being normal?

What's that, yes. All right, stuff it in. We got a verbal yes. Stuff it in. Hi, guys. Hey, Tierra. Yeah. That's your name.

Yeah. Hi, this is Scott Ogerman, a host of comedy. Hi, I remember you. You do remember me. Yeah, I'm a listener. Oh, great. Oh, well, you're currently on the show. Oh, whoa.

This is Brock Love at the Treasure Hunter. Yeah, I'm a big fan. Oh, thank you. Don't be frightened. This is the ghost of Dr. John. He's friendly. Spooky, scary, but frilly. Wow, what an assorted bun.

Well, also shimmy. That was kind of the tune of the pop I saw. Just so you know. I know I wrote it. And know about it. I know about it. How you knowin'. Hey.

Shimi's here. Oh, hi, wow. 01:35:48,440 --> 01:35:49,800 You're a listener so you know Shimi. Yeah, I know everybody here. And it's me, Jack Quaid, back again. Jack, you're back. Yeah, hi.

Just like that movie, Jack's back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm such a fan of Jensen Ackles' ass. Can you tell that I said hi? Yeah. Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I mentioned a movie, Jack's back, and Lisa didn't show up.

I don't know who you're talking about. What? Is her malignant gone? Can you turn around for us? I guess that seems creepy. You look so cool. Yeah, I mean, thanks. Let's check that out.

Thanks, wow. The malignant shriveled off and fell on the ground. Oh, this is bad for me. I needed that malignant. Are you a lawyer for? Yeah, everybody. Still? Yeah.

So you represent the Walt Disney Corporation and people against the Walt Disney Corporation? Porn frit, kids, cops, astronauts, everything. All right, fine. General lawyer? In general? Absolutely. Can you Mrs. Doubtfire a trial?

Put two pies on my breasts? Sure. OK, great. Is it, will that do, Dr. Tun? Well, it does it for me. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye.