Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Jake Johnson, Paul F. Tompkins, Lily Sullivan

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Actor and filmmaker Jake Johnson joins Scott to talk about his new film Self Reliance on Hulu, his podcast We’re Here to Help, and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. Then, singer-songwriter Alimony Tony returns to talk about his most recent divorce over the holidays. Plus, writer Bridget Jones returns to share brand new entries from her diary.

🎵 Oh, Riley Otto parts, better parts, better pizza, Papa John's. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you. Thank you to Stink McGregor for that catchphrase submission. I don't think that's going to keep just because it mentions two different businesses, other than Comedy Bang Bang, but thanks for the suggestion. Stink McGrable, thank you so much. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition, 2024. That's right, January.

We're so deep, I believe it's the Iads of January currently. And we have a great show coming up a little later. We have a singer songwriter. We also have a writer, so a very arts-focused podcast today, but coming up first, that's right. Stars are back. We settled it with SAG. We won.

We're reaping the riches right now, and the stars are able to come back on this podcast, and there are none brighter than this one. I don't believe he's ever been on the show before he's Joining the incredible one-timers club here on comedy bang bang. He was on the television show wonderful episode of the television show Where he was upside down the entire episode You know him from such shows as the new girl and everything else that he's done. And he has a wonderful new movie out on Hulu now called Self-Reliance, which he wrote, directed, stars, producers, stars in producers rather. Please welcome to the show, Jake Johnson. Hello. Hello, I was going to say I felt like I had it. And then you reminded me it was the TV one.

I don't I feel like the upside down. Let me let me check because I don't I don't know I you know anything past maybe four years or so ago. I have no idea, but I think I think you're right. It was the TV. I had forgotten that. I really need to get real close on these mics. You get you. How's it?

Yeah, oh perfect. I love it. Yeah, it I'm not seeing anything other than the television show. And that bit was, it was Adam Scott too. I think. Once you in it, I don't remember. I remember it was, my hair was up.

Yes. The premise of that episode was slow Joey played by Haley Joel Osman, who played our dumb interiors. Haley Joel Osman who played our dumb inter. We were getting a new set and he sent the blueprints off for it to be built, but he had turned them upside down. And so the set was upside down. So we had to film upside down and turn the cameras upside down.

So we did a whole episode where our hair was sprayed, sprayed hair sprayed up over her heads. Yes, anyway, you were such a great sport to do that. That was fun. Yeah, it was very fun. I hope I made up that Adam Scott had his hair upside down too. I don't know that I hear this. I don't think he would have been there. He was in so many episodes.

Maybe he did a cameo on that one. I don't really know. But it's great to have you on the podcast proper. Thank you for having me and did actors stop doing this during this. Oh yeah. We had so many podcasts host so many authors. Oh my gosh. I was saying no to a podcast. Can you imagine? Yeah. They're like, I can't. I don't want to I don't want to I don't want to go against the strike by not doing something that's we're striking Exactly you can still go to restaurants girls We're stillers do podcast. I think no, I remember that one email from Fran Dresher

She was like don't go to restaurants don't leave your house We don't want to make sure we don't we are I remember the Halloween one for sure Yes, everyone remembers the Halloween one was a great a great turn. Was it settled by Halloween? Just so everyone could dress up and I believe it was. Yes, well, I think that came out and then there was a backlash and then everybody stopped talking about it. Yeah. Well, it's wonderful to have the stars back. I love the fact that we're able to promote movies now instead of stupid fucking books.

And here, here. Because movies are where it's at, right? Have you ever read the book? No, no, no, no, no, why would you? No, why would I? Yeah, no, pass on doing that. But it is nice. It was, it's been a tricky one because this was supposed to release in September. And then with the strike, they kept pushing it. And so they would at first, yeah, they would go, it's gonna be maybe October, maybe November. And then they said, if it doesn't end, we have to release it without any press. Oh, no. And I thought like, so truly,

nobody will watch. You know, you never know who watches streaming as is. But without press. Yeah. I was like, Oh, wow, we really might have made this movie for no one. Were you excited then to get to one of the first calls to do press was for comedy bang bang the podcast? Yes. Yes. I would say all presses change so dramatically. That this is all press now. Yes.

And if you're a star out there, make comedy bang bang your first stop. Why not? Would love to have you. Yes, thank you. You know, why are you fucking people listening to this show? Hell, yeah. More than watch some dumb movie on H Yes, thank you. You know, why me fucking people listen to this show? Hell yeah. More than watch some dumb movie on Hulu, right now. Oh, okay.

Sorry. Okay, hold up. Killin' the wrong bird, my man. Oh, hold up. Uh, let's talk about the movie. Self-reliance, I've seen it, of course. Uh, that's right, I don't like to brag, but uh, I watched it as you, the filmmaker, intended, uh, on a Hulu link, uh link with my email address, probably displayed the entire movie.

But it's a fascinating film. You wrote and directed and star in it and produce the movie. Tell me everything about it, even though I personally know, but tell our listeners. So the movie's about a guy who gets a unique opportunity to go on a dark web game, where he's got 30 days to survive while people are trying to hunt him. And if he does it, he gets a unique opportunity to go on a dark web game where he's got 30 days to survive while people are trying to hunt him. And if he does it, he gets a million dollars. And the opportunity comes and he thinks he hears the pitch

and he thinks there's a loophole in the game and that is the hunters cannot kill him if he's with people. That's right, because out of safety for the rest of the world, they don't want to ever kill anyone because you bring up at a certain point like, I don't want my mother to be shot. Or anybody like if you're with somebody,

I don't want to be playing some stupid game and put other people at risk. So they say as long as you're with people, you cannot be killed. So Tommy, my character believes, oh, I can lean in him. He's going through a lonely period and he thinks, I could lean into my relationship with my mother

and my sisters and be home. And then we can divide up the money, but this is a very easy win. Now it might be an awkward 30 days, but it's a million bucks. And the problem comes when he tells his family they don't believe he's actually playing. Yes. So it sounds like such a crazy situation,

not to spoil anything, but our good friend, Andy Sandberg, is in the movie, playing himself, and he ties into it. It just sounds like such a... They don't, they believe he's making this up for attention. Right. And he has such a bad life leading up to this, that it's not too far of a stretch for them to assume

that you've gone off the deep end. And this is just a sad way of saying, I want you guys to have sleepovers with me for 30 days. As opposed to saying I'm fighting a lonely period I want to be with you. Right. They think that he's saying I'm in a bit of a rot and now because of this dark web game with a guy I'm a big fan of Andy Sandberg, you need to be with me. Right. So they don't believe him and then that starts the movie and the movie is basically about can he survive it and is the game real? That's right. It kind of reminded me of that wonderful David Fincher movie, the game. Now we're talking. Yes. Well, a lot

of people say about my stuff. It's me and Finch. That's right. You're in the Finch man. So Finch and I, you know, he's a great guy. We went back and forth. There's a lot. Oh, you know, it's session. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, he loves the movie. Does he really? He loves everything I've ever done. He likes this podcast. Oh, no, he's got to's session. Yeah, absolutely. Well, he loves the movie. Does he really? He loves everything I've ever done. He likes this podcast. Oh, no, he's got to come on. Yeah, Fintzy. He's busy.

Oh, he's busy. I understand. They're on the way to any takes. Yeah, yeah. They wish. Look, if he doesn't do 150 takes of every scene, he could do this show easy. He's currently doing a take, but as soon as he's done

on the next run, it takes. He's in. I love it. He's in. I love to hear that. But it also had, you know, the most dangerous game, of course. Yeah. And what were some of the other influences?

Well, the influences for me were Japanese reality shows, where the, there was a network that I'm not going to try to pronounce, but they were really pushing it in the early 2000s of what they could get away with on reality TV. One of them, the one that really struck me that I thought was incredible was they took a comedian who won out of 100 people and was selected, but he did not know what he was doing.

He gets into a apartment where there's cameras everywhere, they take off all his clothes and then they leave him alone. And the only way he can eat or get clothes or do anything is he has to win cont contest that he gets from newspapers and radio shows and it's a real thing. And so, but they push it over there. So he needs to get food, he needs to get rice.

Then he wins rice, but he doesn't know how to cook it. So then he's got to win, you know, the instructions or the cookware. The cookware. And he goes crazy. There's a great documentary. But in a real way, because he, you know, at first it's really funny. I'm on TV.

I'm a comedian. This is good for my career. And then it goes to like, I'm fucking starving. And this isn't a joke. And the crazier he gets, the funny it is for the audience. Right. And honestly, the funnier it was for me. So you watched the entire thing.

You didn't just hear about the premise. No, so I had seen this years ago, and I remember it was like, you know, back in the day when like Mr. Show was bootlegged around and you remember like there was like different clips of stuff that you could see. This was one of that that a friend had got pieces of. Oh wow.

And the darker it got, the more I liked it. And then I forgot, I I did think about the fact this is a human being suffering. I just thought like, yeah dude, he can't cook! And he's dying! And so that idea, and then I love reality shows, and I love the reality shows how it keeps pushing. I love shows like a loan.

The MTV, the Challenges, the show I used to really love because they would give these guys so much alcohol and cocaine. and their behavior would get insane right and when somebody would have like a steroid cocaine attack and attack people it made great television. So one thing I was reading was that you wrote this when covid lockdowns were happening to that that tie into it all the low-minus part? So it started before I wrote this during the New Girl or New Girl. Oh wait, what was your show called? Well, everybody says that and now I don't know 100%. But I think it's just New Girl. I don't know.

Should we look it up or should we just let it lie? All right, let's look it up. What do you say? I feel like it's the new girl. It's got, what is the new girl? I just don't know if they put the new girl. It's new girl. Okay, yes.

It's new girl. So it is the new girl, but I think for the posters, take anyway, the looked better. I see. Yeah. But it was all about those posters. Those posters launched our show. It did, but remember when shows got posters?

Yes. Oh my God. Remember when shows launched? All right. Remember when people launched that? Yeah. Oh my God. Remember when shows launched? Right. Remember when people watched that? Yeah. As a group. Remember back in the day when you would go driving around suddenly one day, there'd be, you'd look around, there'd be everywhere you look, there'd be a poster for a particular movie and it would be about a month out. Yes.

And they would be like, oh, the pallet of a Ricky Bobby, what a fool. We all knew it. And everyone would be like, okay, count down. Well, look, you know, honestly, I really missed the time that, you know, a show like New Girl, a lot of like the cool comedy people didn't like it. Some people liked it, a lot of the audience liked it. Who cares?

I missed the time when we all had one thing to have opinions on. Yes. Now people will be like, like the comedy world be like, dude, this is amazing. And I'll go, I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. I watched up and I've never heard of it. I'm like, we need one universal thing to like

or not like as a group. I feel like it happens, but then it'll be over so quickly. I feel like I've missed the week that everyone watched Tiger King. And I just, and then it's out. And then everyone just has already made every joke about it. And then to go back feels like,

yeah, you watched something from 20 years ago. So I was just like past, you know, so you got to watch everything the week it comes out. And of course, we want to watch self-reliance this week. No, it's a good turn. That's a goddamn pro. That's why the stars are back. The stars are back.

This is why you come here first. But so I wrote it and I thought at the time, because Netflix and all those places were new. And there was an era when they were new and we didn't know what they were gonna be. So this is when the networks were still king and the streamer and I thought I could do a network show

and in the summer, I could do a limited series the way that you would do an indie movie. I felt like why not? So it started as a series. So this was a three season show and I made the mistake I had like a hundred-page Bible and my pitch was a good hour and a half and Jakey J gets manic when I get cooking and that pitch was like, okay, so okay, so see, okay, see to episode four. Hold on, okay, I didn't mention this character yet.

So Ricky, Ricky, you remember Ricky? And I just was gunning and sweaty on the back afterwards and when I was finished it was my novel. And they passed, they were working on the show maniac at the time and they said like it's too similar and that one's too far along and we're too excited about it. Maniac is the the Jonah Hill and the Stone one. Right, right. And again I missed that one. Me too. Yeah. But they thought that was going to be a big moment. And so then it. A wrongly word. Yeah. Neither of us watched it.

Yeah, exactly. And so I let it die. I didn't want to pitch it anymore. And then when the pandemic happens. So you're a quitter. I mean, yeah. Okay, good to know. Who the fuck isn't?

A bunch of fake people who pretend they're not. Good point. Good point. Yeah. And so during the pandemic, I had had a pilot at Apple and I got a call saying, there's a good chance the business will never be what it used to be. Pre-vaccines, they said, it might be no crew. It might be, you know, you're doing singles on your own, sending it in. And they said, but don't worry, the business is coming back.

They'll still be work. And I thought like, fucking pass, but don't worry, the businesses coming back, they'll still be work and I thought like, fucking pass. I don't want to do that. So I decided, I like to work every day, no matter what, for sanity reasons. Even on weekends, really. I like to put something in every day. Really, even on Sunday, the Lord's Day.

Yeah, really? That's an affront to the Lord. Well, yeah, I'm okay with this. You're okay with this. All right. I mean, as a half Jew, half Catholic, I don't know which Lord would be mad at me. That's true. Yeah. I think I'm fine.

Old Testament New Testament. We don't know. It's never been to a temple or a church. You think there'll be a half heaven for people like you? Yeah, it's called earth. I'm in it, man. So you decide, what point do you say like, okay, this has got to be a film? Well, I thought I'm not going to be able to sell a TV show like this again, but I could

probably get a little bit of money. And if not, I've self-financed some small ones with my buddy Joe and then during the pandemic, my friend Trent and I made one. And I was like, we can make a movie for $250,000 that can recoup and make some money. So I thought, no matter what, I'll make this movie. And then Ali Bell got a draft of it and said, don't do this in your backyard. Let's make this for real. They came on board. She was the real animal behind it. Great. Yeah. Love Ali. Ali is a killer. And, and Andy agreed to come on and play that part. Right. And now it's a real,

it's a real movie with like sets and lights. And at one point I was like, I hear what they're saying. There must be microphones. We had a real budget. We had a movie. We shot it in 17 days. 17, really. Okay.

Anacendrick came on. Christopher Lloyd came on. We also have Mary Holland, who listeners of this show, who will know, definitely. She, I think she is and I've told it to her face a lot, but I think she's a Phil Hartman type. You say that to her face? Yeah. I say it behind her back. We're saying it behind her back right now, my man.

That's true. I'm never going to tell her to her face, though. She probably won't listen either. She's listening to everybody's doing it. Of course she's a fan. Well, it's a really fascinating movie. It kept me guessing all the way up to the end. And it's got laughs, it's got action.

And what, I mean, what more do you want from a movie? I really enjoyed, I think it's a really fun 90 minutes. And I hope people check it out on Hulu for free. Yeah, for free. Well, I mean, you got to pay for Hulu, I would imagine. Unless you're like passing by one of those old TV stores that has a plane. Here's those. You're aging us.

You're aging. I'm missing when you could just walk by a TV store and then suddenly there's like a news item that pertains to your life, especially when it was like over Christmas. And there's snow outside because you're in the midwice. These days. because you're in the Midwest. Well, it's out right now. I was instructed when stars are back, that means their publicists are also back. So I was instructed by your publicists

to also bring up a couple of the things. You have a podcast called We Are Here to Help. Yes, now what exactly is this? So it's a podcast I do with my buddy, Garrett Reynolds from the dollop. And it's a call in show where people kind of call in and we, the three of us, Gareth, myself, and then we've have our friends, different guests

coming on to help try to get involved in their life and figure out what the question is and try to help. And we've done a bunch of them at this point. And we've kind of had a lot of fun. And the zone that we've kind of had a lot of fun. And the the zone that we've kind of found works best for us is the smaller the problem. The more insignificant, but important to them, the more wheelhouse for our show. So I asked people to check it out. Okay. Yeah. And you know, I I had assumed when the sex strike was over that stars would give up on all their podcasts. But

no, you're still doing yours. I started mine. Yeah, I remember when I said I always like to work on something. That's true. I'm not writing a spec script during a strike. You're also, I would hate to neglect to mention, you also play the part of Peter B. Parker in the Spider-Man across the Spider-Verse movies. And I don't know if you had the,

I mean, obviously you didn't because you're in it, but the experience that I had that a lot of the audience had, and I've brought this up to Brian Michael Bendis, of course, creator of Miles Morales, that I believe he should be tried at the hagg for what happened in that movie where it just stopped in the middle, and then was like, oh, by the way, yeah, just come to our other one.

What do you think about that? And I didn't have the same reaction as you really. No, I thought, I think we're... Do you get paid for two movies? Or are they trying to give this one of these like, eh, we're just gonna turn it into two, but you already recorded everything. You get paid for two.

You got paid for two. Yeah, they're two movies. They are two movies. Although it really should be one, four-hour or five-hour movie, shouldn't it? Well, then we're entering a really insane world Well, I mean I went to see killers of the fucking flower moon They could have split that Scores AZ you don't like the Marvel universe split that one up

Yeah, so I want to spend five fucking hours in the middle of the day you were genuinely annoyed when that one ended that it didn't fit Wrap it up. Yeah, yeah, I was I was ready to start shit. I was ready for January 6th movie edition. That's so funny. No, so my experience is different because I record in the booth, but I don't get full scripts. Really? Do they even give you the other side of the conversation

or do you have guests? Well, you record with a lot of other actors. So we might, we'll do the entire scenes, but I don't know what the whole movie is. And so I did experience that essentially the way you did. And the first one, I didn't see anything until the movie was done. Really? So the animation, I had no idea how we were. Were you surprised by how well it came together? Yes. I thought I shot this. This is gonna be a shit. Well, I'd also done a bit in Smurfs. You know, so just for contrast. Well, when I saw that one, I thought like, looks like smurfs.

Right. So it talks like smurfs. I think they're smurfs. I gotta say, I think it's the movie guys. So this could have been very similar. This could have been a Spider-Man movie where you introduce Miles Morales and the animation what they did. I was like, oh, I hadn't wrapped my hat around what you're doing.

And for the second one, what they do in it. The animation is the second one. The animation is the second one. Fucking shock is crazy. I'll sophisticated it is. And so I'm like, yeah, I mean, the story said, I couldn't sit there for five hours. I was like, you're in it. And you couldn't sit there for five hours. I'll see the next one.

I'm excited to. So then every movie should, unless it's 90 minutes like, of course, Self-Relearned, it's on Hulu currently. Correct. Anything over 90, split it into two movies. No. No? But if your visuals are as stunning as Spider-Verse

and you're over two hours, I'm okay to wait a little bit for the next one. You're okay. Now, if I stop Self-Relearned after 45 minutes and do Self-Relearned too, and pay myself to us. I'm a king. That's a deal, Fran Dresser. I want to win for us.

Fran, are you listening? Of course you're listening. Take every sitcom divided into 13 minute episodes. That's right. Although I was reading that, I believe there's an article out there that takes the Irishman and tells you when you should, what it feels like to watch the Irishman as a limited series. Like stop it here. Is that true? Yes. Because who has fucking four hours to watch the Irishman as a limited series. Like, stop it here. Is that true?

Yes. Because who has fucking four hours to watch the Irishman on the past, you know? What a funny way of doing it. And then you stop, take the night. Yeah. Think about it. I've thought about this.

It's great. There's nothing worse than because I have the movie show that I do. And just you assume a movie is going to be under two. Agreed. And I like 90. 90's good. And then you start it. and you assume a movie is gonna be under two. A great. I like 90. 90's good. And then you start it.

And then you see that runtime of like two hours, 45 minutes. Sometimes over three. Oh my God. I can't do three. I'm a big scorsese guy having seen the movie. I don't know when I am unless there's an article that tells me when I could stop. And I'm not being an asshole.

I don't want to be disrespectful. No, but if you say like, hey, here's a natural stop. Natural oppression. And in four days, when all of a sudden the whole family's asleep and I go, I'm not tired. I got an all in a hat. Exactly.

I think, well, I think you can do that for killers of the flower. It spans so many years that it's like. Just once like an era. Yes, exactly. Slowly fade your teeth. It's easy to have like, you know, Ben Hur would like an era. Yes, exactly. Yes. Slowly fade your teeth. Movies used to have like, you know, Ben Hur would have an intermission in the middle. You know, it's like that's a anyway.

But Spider-Man across the Spider-Verse, if you want to see the end of the story, you got to pay for two movies. No, you have to pay for one. You've already seen the first half. Well, you don't have to see the first one. But, okay, but I was told you want to promote this first one. Yes. Why?

If it's been out for, I guess it's in the, they tell me it's in the window, the home video window. Oh, that's for real. I'm supposed to promote this. Well, I mean, I'm supposed to bring it up. Well, they, they promised me Spider-Man merch if I talk about it. And I said, well, I probably have all the merch, but I'll, I'll sell it on either. I don't know what I would promote for that besides it's out. It's out. It's out in the

film video. But it's been on home video. I know, but I was told to talk about. Oh, take this up. Take this up with your people. So the movie is called I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Who's it? If I can start who's this? I'm Maribel and I am takes publicist. I do. Sorry, Maribel. I I didn't see you in the corner there. How have you been there? Oh, I've been here for quite a while. She's always here. Oh, thanks for coming.

Of course. You know, I'm always looking out for you. No, thank you. The reason we're promoting it is to put it back in people's minds for when the second half comes out. I see. Okay, so you want to remind everyone that it exists. It exists. Did Sony tell you that, Maribel?

Are you just going off the jack here? Sony actually told me this was dumb. And I said, this is your call. Because you're my client. I never mind. I'm sorry. Thank you. Yes. And so what was the conversation with Sony? I said, I called. Okay. I called up Sony. I said, I called, okay. I called up Sony and I said, you called Sony. Yes.

I called it, I made a move. I made a move. I called it to do it all the time. Also, by the way, thank you for calling Sony. Of course. Of course. I have a weekly call with them. You do.

Yes. Who it's Sony? Everybody. But specifically. Okay. It's Tony. It's Rob. Tony Sony.

Tony Sony. Tony Sony Family. I heard my name. Tony, Tony's Rob. Tony Sony? Tony Sony, the whole Sony family. I heard my name. Tony, Tony, what are you doing here? Well, I thought I'd come by. I just want to make sure, you know, we were doing a good job. What an honor. Thank you for asking.

Okay, well, you know what? I'm glad you're here, Tony. Because let's settle this right now. And you guys be the judge while you can. Scott, you have to be the judge. Okay, because you're a partial, well, don't be, I'm not a partial. You said execution. I like that, yeah. Not don't be. I'm not a professional. You said execution.

I like that. Yeah, I like that. I word. All right. So, is it, as Tony says, dumb to promote a movie that's been out for years. I don't know, there's been out for years. How long has it been out? It's been out for like, almost two years.

No, no, this no, no, Tony. Your movie, I would say, I think it was the summer. Mine monsters. It feels like it. It feels longer. I think in show business terms, that's years. Yeah, that's true. That's by the way, it is.

In actress terms. By the way, you don't work any more. Exactly. You're dead, you're done. You're dead, you're done. In six months, you're done. In six months, you're dead. In six months, you're dead. In six months, you're dead, you're done months you're on that and six months your

Month you dad you done you cook to that's what I always say yeah, Tony seems to be different now Maribel can I say you have the deepest voice and Tony you have the highest voice and also Tony feels like a manager in New York in the early 80s You done honey honey. You got nothing, kiddo. Okay, get the hell out of here. You can't dance. You can't sing. You got nothing, big nose. Tony, how did you start in this business? Well, you know, I worked my way up at the, at the pizza place. The peanut week Sony started as a pizza place. Sony was originally a pizza ria. I started making the dough, making the pies. Get the hell out of here. It was, it was so New York, It was the so New York. Oh, so New York Sony.

So yes, I understand. So what's the deal with the New York pieces at the water? It is the water. It is the water. We piss in the water. You piss in the water in New York? That's how we do it in these. What era was this?

Oh, these pieces pre-sony stars. You're a lady, dude. Oh, that's beautiful. You're a lady, dude. Oh, that's you, lady, dude. I didn't, I thought Sony was like one of our oldest studios. I thought so, actually. It actually started as a pizza place in the 80s. Oh, wait, you're talking about the movie studio. Wait, are you not part of it?

Oh, you're talking about the movie. I don't call, I don't call the movie studio on a weekly basis. Wait, you just call this pizza place so New York every week? Yeah. Why? To talk to my friend Tony Sony. Yeah.

And to represent me and I appreciate you. You're welcome, of course. Is Maribel just mispronouncing your name? Is your name Tony so New York? Yeah. But we're friends. Look at it about it. There's your proof.

Tony's New York. True New York. All right, I will forget about it. I don't forget to mention New Girl. Okay. So New Girl is on Hulu right now. Is it on Hulu right now? Yeah, I'm sorry, it's the New Girl.

Thank you Tony. Yeah, Tony, we have, oh my God. What? You're gonna rip that old wound open again? Hey, don't get me going, okay, I don't wanna hit a wound. Hey, wait, so Tony hits you, Maribel. Tony has fainted at me, FBI several times and I've done it to him. It's just fun I just play.

He's a playful guy. He's a playfully threatening guy. Yeah you seem very fun. Wait no you're here. I'm gonna make some pies on my ass. Tony, you have nothing to do with show business. No, no, I just put it just pizza. Yeah, it's just pizza.

So why did you come to have it? Tony has written a script. How you love it? My sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet He's okay. Okay, okay. He wants me to go all get out of here. I want you to go. I'm gonna settle this argument. It is dumb. I think it is dumb to talk about this spider first. Wow.

Okay. Are you sure you want to continue doing this show? Yeah, I'm having a nice time. Do you think I should or what do you like? No, no, no, no, I defer to you. Jake, is what you want to know? No, no, no, no, you're the master. If it were me.

You're the puppeteer, I'm the puppet. Now, that's, I wish that were true But it's not tell me your top three clients that you told me when you sold to me about I should be giving you the $45,000 a month Who do you got and who of you made big stars? That's almost an Apple TV plus subscription. Who do we go? Who are the kids? Who are the kids? Brad Garrett. Oh man. I know someone by the way who loves Brad Garrett. Who? America. America, but a certain man named Fred Guinness, we talked to him last year about it.

Okay, I don't care. Okay. Number two, Cindy Lauper. Cindy Lauper is number two. Wow, Sam. What is going on with Cindy these days? Everything you see. She's singing, she's very commercial.

Oh, okay, sure. I haven't seen either of these. Have you haven't seen either? You've seen or commercial? Haven't seen singing or commercial. You've seen it. You've seen for ads commercial. Commercials, though, yeah. I know, what seen either? You've seen or commercial. Haven't seen singing or commercials. You said gotta check out. You said commercials. Oh, yeah. I know. I know what Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's got the bus. He does Jimmy John. Yeah, he does.

Jimmy John. Yeah. Yeah. He just got cast in something. I believe I texted that to my friend. Yes. And Brad was very mad about the strike. And where you owe him some of his comments. That was a nice. He got hot. He got a nice. Marry for him. It's still upcoming. Yes. He put into the show. He didn't he. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of unwanted attention because my third big client, of course, Kevin Spacey. And he gets a bad rap. He gets a bad rap. Maybe we should use

word rap. Anyway, sorry. Because of his rap career. Yeah, anyway, sorry because of his rap career. Yeah, let's say that So what were we talking about? I have to get out of it to be honest Mirabelle. I don't know I goodbye. I think you need Kevin Spacey I'm sorry about that. you all though they're your people. I mean, I know I should say, I'm sorry about bringing my trash into your house. But I will say she really is the best public. She is.

She really is. She really sent me back on my heels. Yeah, what she has done for Cindy for Brad. I mean, she's driven, well, Kevin, you hear about him, right? Well, Kevin's back. Any PR is good PR. Yeah, I heard that she was driven. Well, Kevin, you hear about him, right? Well, Kevin's back. Any PR is good PR. Yeah, I heard that she was the person who said, hey, you should do those videos every year,

or I'm Christmas, where you're doing the accent. Okay, well, look, Spider-Man across the spiderverse, I don't think we need to say anything more about it, but it's out there. A sequel is coming, although we don't know when. Do you know when? I don't know when, no although we don't know when. Do you know when? I don't know when, no. You don't know when.

You're not the first person to make a call. No. Maribel? No girl. No girl. No girl. Okay, new girl on Hulu. We're here to help.

Are the episodes out? This is what I'm confused with. We've done a bunch of episodes. We've done about 30. We're over a head gum. We're having a lot of fun. Okay, and then self-reliance. People can watch it now. It's a lot of fun. Okay, and then self-reliance, people can watch it now.

It's a really fascinating film, very funny, and very touching, and if you're watching every single anachendric movie, this one's gotta go on the list, so you gotta check it off. And Mary Holland, such a great cast, we need to take a break. When we come back, we have a singer songwriter.

Have you ever sung a song or written one? No. Neither of those things, not even a karaoke.writer. Have you ever sung a song or a written one? No. Neither of those things, not even a karaoke. No. You've never written a song in karaoke? I've never written for karaoke, no. I would love that's a job I want to have for writing for karaoke. We also have a writer coming up.

This is a Pac-Show jake. I'm so glad you're here. Yeah, you too. We're going to come right back. We'll have more from Jake Johnson. We'll have more comedy bang bang. We'll be right back, we'll have more from Jake Johnson. We'll have more comedy bang bang. We'll be right back after this. Comedy bang bang. We're back.

Jake Johnson is here. The titular spider man. Aren't you the titular spider man? Or do you consider Miles or just any spider? Because you're one of the spider men. Yeah. Do you consider Miles Morales to be the titular spider man? Or can you say like, I play the title character in Spider

Man. No, I don't think Peter B Parker is the title character, but you are Spider-Man. I'm one of the Spider-Man. Technically, you could say that. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, you play Spider-Man. Isn't that straight?

Okay, who's played Spider-Man on film? You have Tauvi McGuire. Yeah. You have Andrew Garfield. And by the way, our friend Neil Campbell once said that, if you would have told him as a kid that he would read the headlines saying Garfield plays Spider-Man he would have been so excited. So you're a big Spider-Man guy. Who is your favorite live action Spider-Man?

I enjoy the current movies probably the best. Tom Holland. Yes, I do. I think those are the best representation of the character. They have the feel of it I think. Although I love that first one to tell him who's the worst. And who's the worst? Oh, so Andrew Garfield's the worst

Movies are perhaps not my cup of tea you're not that you're not in love with what about that lizard. Oh, hey This is Marable by the way this is our next No, this isn't Marable. No, Scott. I hope you don't buy my job again No, I'm sorry. I'm talking about the spider verse. I got very excited Yeah, we do need to get to our next guest. I don't know who this is. Yeah. Yeah, he's the singer-songwriter. I was telling you that. Oh, well, that's ridiculous.

I mean, I didn't want to introduce you and call you your actual job, which is. Well, right. You don't have one. That's true. You're independently wealthy. You're independently. So I don't know how to describe you

other than a divorcee. Well, you know what? If the shoe fits. Yeah, it does. And it's fits so many times. Please welcome to the show, back to the show, than a divorcee. Well, you know what, if the shoe fits. Yeah, it does. And it's fit so many times. Please welcome to the show, back to the show, Alamoni Tony. Hello, Scott. Hello, Jake.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too, Tony. My name is Tony Jacques Giraudi. Bernadonnaise, Alamori Tony. Big fan, Tony. Thank you very much. Big fan, Tony. Thank you very much.

I'll see you guys later. Yes. Really? Yeah. That's so interesting, because Fred Guinness was on the show recently. Yeah. And was saying that the record's guy Yeah, the record he's also a song parodist. I don't know if you know this. Yeah. Oh, you're talking about the Brad Garrett guy Yeah, he loves Brad Garrett and he's happens to be a song-guarrett song parodist not a song-guarrett

But he also is he runs the Guinness Book of World Records Oh, and that's his main gig, but he was telling me, he was throwing shade at you. Wow. He was saying that your videos only have one view and that's your own view. That is true. And you won't even watch a second time. Get a second view.

That is because I can't, I can't stand that. Your point? No, the embarrassment of adding another view and it's me again. Right. Do you know what I mean? But no one knows this. I do it.

Okay. That's a private little hell. But it's fine. So Jake, how would you even know about Alamoni Tony's song parodies? Word on the streets. Oh, word on the streets. So I listen to a bootleg of it.

Oh. Similar to the Japanese. Somebody I just remember being in a van. I was younger, a very stone, and some of the CD. This guy's the best. I think it was a cassette. Oh wow. My street team is working. Yeah. It was great. But so I wouldn't have registered on any clicks or anything. This was pre-internet, I think. Yeah. So that's how I started. And I've decided to bring that back.

And I'm having I've got a team of kids going out there and they're distributed cassettes. And they are of course spray-pitting stencils on the sidewalk. We're in a body on a word, Jordi. Okay, wow. So the word's getting out. The word is getting out. I think the word spreading, don't you? I mean, I know who you are. You've been on the show several times, but I don't know that I've seen evidence of the world. My first appearance, of course, was Rululu. Very funny.

Primarily what you're known for. For those of you who are new listeners to comedy bang, bang, bang. You've been on the show many times, but primarily you're known for being a person who has gotten married and divorced multiple times. Yes. How many times are we up to now? Well, since the last time we've seen each other's got, it's probably the early 60s. You're in your, wow, your early 60s.

Try to get that up to 69. What are you saying about that? Well, I hope that doesn't happen. I mean, you know, I'm the thing. You always, yes. Of course, I always marry for love. I always think it's going to work out. I always give it my all, but it just doesn't work out sometimes.

It doesn't. But the one thing about you is the one silver lining on this cloud is you love paying out. I only love paying out. Oh, it gives me such a rush. Now, again, I do not get married just so I can get to force pay out of the body. I marry for love, but I do love paying out of the body. Well, I love writing those checks. Wow. So now you're paying, I don't know that you're paying over 60 people out of money because of course some get remarried, some pass away. I still upset with the Alamone though.

To their gravesite. Stay in lieu of flowers. I've always said no. To the survivors. Oh, yeah. To the survivors, really, you're not legally obligated to do this. No, I'm not, but I just, well, I'd love paying Alamone,

but also I, of course, I've rebayed on friendly terms with every single ex-wife that I've that's right. They love him That's nice. Yeah, it is some refuse the album. They don't want it. They say Tony It just didn't work out no hard feelings nobody's at fault here But I still sit with the check and sometimes I sit it back sometimes I sit it back ripped up Sometimes I sit it back with like a funny little message on it like I try It's like any kids. Yeah, do you have kids? No, no kids. I am, as they say, barren.

Oh, you have. Yes. Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know if that's come up. I have, I don't think it has. I have what is called no motility. Oh, really? So there's everything's dead in there.

It's just dead. So they're all in there. They're all in there, float around. So belly up. Can you expel them in there, float around. So spelling up. Can you expel them? Well, I mean, yes. I mean, there is there is a way to do that. Okay, so I don't know how far you got to school.

I just want to make sure that these aren't like, uh, as firms or multiple decades old. I'm kind of with you, Scott. Yeah, it seems like they might just be living in there. No, I've had sex. Okay, good, good, good. With all the women. With all the women.

Oh, number one. What happened? There was one who was asexual. I married an asexual lady. Oh, and did you know that going in? I did know that going in. And I said, well, make it work. Well, we did make it work.

Because then she started wanting sex, but not for me. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. How long did that one last? That one lasted five weeks. I think we still be together today, but she got struck by lightning and completed the Shatra personality. Oh really?

Did we talk about this in a previous episode? I don't like so. Oh, okay. Thank you, and remember Scott, no? I'm remembering some sort of struck by lightning for here. Oh yeah, the four years for here. I don't remember.

Remember some sort of struck by lightning for here? It's been almost 15 years at this point, I. How about you just move a little? It's hard to do that. Who's the, do you mind if I ask who the love of your life is? Are you currently married or are you current? I know you're currently divorced. I'm so sorry. I just was finalized yesterday.

So I'm going to be probably, you know, a load for a little while. And so, so sorry. Who is this person? Her name was Gretchen. Gretretchen and we met in an airport lounge. Oh really? Yes, okay? I'm a private lounge or was it extremely private lounge? How how private are we talking? It's not visible to people in the airport. Oh, okay. Yeah, you have to know what to look Oh, all right

And was it how many people were in this if it was that private? There was three of us, just three of you. Yes. Me, Gretchen, I'd kept it. So he's all over. But he were all about some. I've had him on this show. Though he saved so many souls that one day. So many souls. But you know, the most of the people, they don't talk about this because it kind of is a black eye on the story. But most of the people that he saved, they lost their feet to frostbite. What? Yes. He's being in the Hudson River? Yes, it was extraordinarily cold, which they had to stand on that wing in the water. No.

And they lost their feet to frostbite. I'd rather die. Same. Yeah. 100%. I curse that pilot. Yeah. You took away my feet, Jack.

You took away my feet. That didn't come up in the movie in the Tom Hanks movie or was cut out. Yeah. Oh, that's true Yeah, they made it illusion to her the movie or with Denzel Washington or it's gonna be in part two That's right. They you're gonna be very mad about Why remember what's Sully ended I was like what Same Now the last time I had that feeling was what I went to see the hobbit and not realize that was a trilogy.

And when that movie had a die was spry. And I agree. What was the deal? So we and Oppenheimer, they're both like, hey, here's the interesting part of their life. Here's another hour about like a random thing that happened to them. What's going on? I feel like I'm about cast away. Do you really?

Cut out the beginning of the food. What's going on here? I feel like I'm about castaway. Do you really? Cut out the beginning of the end. Yeah. I mean, I'm interested in the doodam and his volleyball. It's relationship with that. That's what people care about the doodam the volleyball. Yeah, exactly. I don't need to see him going back to Helen Hunt and then getting closure and then like

standing in the middle of the road. The seafood buffet. And as well, the last scene of castaway standing in the middle. What do those people be that dumb, do you think? This guy's been straining on an island for multiple years. Who have been crab feast for him. I don't think they'd be that stupid. Maybe like it would be, it would be in real life,

it would be all McDonald's. That's what it would be. It would be like what, it would every fast food place you could make up. Like Donald Trump should have catered it. It did very branded content. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, Donald Trump, by the way,

you should just get into catering. He's really good at it. And he really should. I don't know. I don't understand this guy. Anyway, so what? So, Gretchen, I'm so sorry. So you got together at the airport lounge.

Yes, on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Eve, how romantic, so this is just recent. It felt like a romantic comedy. Really? Was anything funny happening? Oh, I guess not. So it just felt like a romance.

It felt like the romance part of the romance of the comedy, which is not funny. No, no, but the best part of a rom-com, I would say. What is the most laugh-out-loud romance to comedy, what'd you say? Where you just, you busted a gut. Busted a gut. I don't know, Jay, you've been in your just, you're busted, a gut. A gut. I don't know, Jay, you've been in your share

of rom coms having you. You've been a rom com with share? A bunch of them. This is exciting. We've been in a trilogy. You know, we're filming the third one right now. Really? It's been really fun.

She's a good kisser. Oh, yeah, she's wonderful. She's such a trilogy. Yeah, she, she's a great actor. She's been a lot of fun. Absolutely. She's got a wonderful voice. I don't know if you know that, but she she's wonderful. She's such a true. Yeah, she. She's a great actor. She's been a lot of fun. Absolutely. Yeah, her. She's got a wonderful voice. I don't know if you know that, but she's a singer. She's a singer as well. Yeah, she dances and her fashion is through the role. I really beautiful. It's gonna be on Hulu too. God, I wish you could meet Cher because I love the leader. Yeah, guys.

Shares. Oh my god. Here's a video. That sounds wrong. It shows. She doesn't have the witness down. No, I've got a test. I got the other dog figure. I don't know if the sidewalk. I don't have to fry. She has brain.

She is here though. Can you do I mean to text? Yeah, she can come in. Yeah, do you know? I don't care. I can ask her. You know, tell. Of course, you don't tell.

You don't tell Sarah things. You ask her. I would say this. If you're going to come in for the the marriage go slow. She's been hurt sure She believes in love. She believes in love, but you gotta go slow. That's right. Yeah, she could turn back time Remember her on the boat with the big she she She famously said if I could turn back time not I can't turn back time. I believe I said if, but yes, you didn't. I do know.

She can turn back. No, guys, guys, guys, the original version is I can turn back time. Wow. I know that. I talked to Sheridan. You would know. And then it's her racking about her. No, there was her version and it was an executive thing.

We all had executives. They said, if you say, ah, you're going to alienate the audience. Don't say that. Don't say that. Don't say that. Who is that? That's, uh, uh, uh, uh, Maribel, this is Almoni Tony. Hello, hello, dear. How are you?

Are you single? Why is she staring at me? Why isn't she talking to you? I don't know. She's just staring at me. Do I say something wrong? I'm here. I'm so sorry.

Tony. I got to get out of here. Tony, you know Tony? I don't. Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony. Tony so do you cool Tony Tony Tony Tony Tony I do and I we have the same cool my Oh Tony a share is a yes shares coming in this She's excited. She's a big fan. Tony. I think you better leave not you Tony

Yeah, yeah, she's getting too crowded. We need to be chair sucks So I do need to just say this about share really quickly to you as the guy right in interview. No questions about her past, nothing about the wardrobe. Everything has to be very positive. Nothing about the past. What about the present? We talked about the present. I wouldn't talk too much about the present.

Future? Potentially a little bit about the future. She likes things if possible. Sing songy. Sing songy. Okay. We'll do it. I don't want to. I don't want okay will I don't but I don't I don't I'm sure I always say hello share nice to have you

here I love when people sing does he have to continue or can he talk regularly because he show it such respect you can talk regular share share thank you so much it's such a plastic so hot in the car I'm sorry I thought I turned the dog thing on No, it's too hot. Yeah, so sweaty and wet and you look beautiful Share may I say hello my name is Tony Jockerode. I'm a huge fan of yours. Oh, hello. It's it's just a just thrill to meet you

That's nice and are you I hope this is too forward to question. Are you currently single share? I am. Yes. Well, well, well, a movie. We're shooting a rom come and there's a lot of rumors about. Yeah, there's a lot of like what's happening on set is going home with them. There's a lot of term up. And is it true or we can't we can't comment on that but it's true. This is like, oh, whoa, this is like, well, we can't comment. We can't comment on it but it would definitely happen. Well, it's like, you said you're a glen powelloo. Exactly.

Well, that's our competition. Yeah. Because we're coming out this weekend too. Oh, yeah, but we're out. They've just dwarfed us a little. And you're also going to a bit that that trail. We're doing the same weekend. Oh, yeah, but we're out. They've just dwarfed us a little. Oh, okay You're also going to mimic that that trail. We're doing the same thing I think everyone's well we did it just didn't catch on we have it. It just is like nine views. Oh, I see but we do the bit I think it's eight more than you have get ready for number 10

Scott, I like you. I'm just stating fans. So we are friends. Yeah, I like you. Yeah, yes We don't have a combat of your beautiful singing. Because what she does is on set, she's being shy. This is what I know this woman. I'm so shy. When she gets pimped into a song, she acts like she doesn't love it, but then her voice is beautiful.

Don't make me sing. Come on, you should. I hate it, don't make me sing. Come on, you should. Pretty please, you should. What song, are you gonna sing it? Oh, one of my classics. If I could turn back time, if I could turn back time.

Oh, that's the share of what I do. Tony, do you say I mean, I say after a fashion. Yeah, do one of your song parodies to if I could turn back time. Okay. So it's all to a parody of shares. If I could turn back time, let's see. So it's about turning back time. That's impossible to do. What is something funny about impossibility?

I'm going to say the impossibility burger. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You're in my process. It's incredible. It's incredible. Yeah, it's a sississississ. Pushing the rock up the hill, but then it can't affect us. It's not impossibly does it, but then he has to do it again Okay, what else is a possible plan now a possible burgers in bike break?

I'm gonna have to go with it. There's gotta be something in there possible burger. Okay, okay To back down Okay, do I back down? I'm out of way okay I'm gonna cut it doing it for a chair if maybe don't start with the same word um to make it maybe something right with it like tiff or you're really getting it my braid tiff the trottoid it's exactly

getting my braid. Tiff the trottoid of our co-film festival. Maybe it's a song about Tiff. You eating an impossible burger at Tiff. And it costs a dime If I could get some food, I would get a false burger to watch the movie through. No. God, share. I'm so sorry. I've never done a song parody of someone's song while the person was here. This is impossible. It's all good. I thought it was fantastic. Thank you. You liked that chair. Oh, I loved it.

I loved every second. I love when men sang to me. Can I ask you a question? Do you find Alamoni Tony attractive at all? Sure. Oh, yeah. Sure. Sure.

Tony, can I talk to you for a second? Sure. I'm sorry, Sherry. Just take a break. It's all good. I'll go sit in the car. No, Jake, you I talk to you for a second? Sure. I'm sorry, Sherry, just take a break. It's all good. I'll go sit in the car. No, Jake, you can talk to Tony with me. Okay. You're gonna have me go in a corner with Sherry.

I'm not gonna go in a corner with Sherry. Come here, come to the corner. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think you shared you got anything? I got a little bit of a momba. I'll go with Scott. All right. He told me, he has an exotic snake. Tony, Jake and I want to talk to you. What's up? Locker room talk? Here we go.

He doesn't feel like locker. Grabbed by the pussy. Oh. No. I think you have a shower. I do two, 100%. How about you, have you got a fair with her? No, we're just doing it for PR.

I think she likes you. I think she genuinely likes you. She likes me. Yeah, here's the problem. Yeah, I Think no court in this United States of America. Share is so wealthy. Right. I don't think any court in the United States is going to Award her alimony should you ever break up? You don't understand I don't understand. You don't understand. You don't have a Bobby Pissad. Alamoni's not about the legal system.

Alamoni is about me taking care of some of them. I know, but here's what's gonna happen. Here, this is what I worry is gonna happen. Right. You're gonna just dive ahead first into a relationship with share. Fall in love. You're already there.

You're gonna break up. And then the court will award you Alamoni. And suddenly you'll be paid, and Scott, it'll be so much. It'll cover all 60 other ones. Yeah. Look, look, look, look. I appreciate the, I appreciate the gesture, gentlemen, but don't forget I have more money

than you could possibly imagine. Well, Alamoni Tony is the inventor of what? No, I didn't invent it. I'm sure your mother. Yeah, I was invented gash's paper Paper that turns into gas once you write on it. Yes, what you use the space program So they would have much of paper floating around right who's like directions of how to fly a rocket right and then once they launched it I don't think I ever said that that

Hey, can I get a moment, Scott? We don't need this anymore. I would hope there's more trading with that. It's up in the air. It just keeps us all. Hey, Scott, you actually tickled yourself. I know the share likes guys who made all their money from their muggers inventions.

Really? Like I know women, especially older women, and that's the turn-on. Ooh, it's a pop-f lip. Yeah, I was hoping that's Yeah, I know you're having a I did the hay whisper hay scott. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, it was still standing in a tight circle I know but I was hoping that he could relate it. I couldn't help but he would. I'm sorry I wasn't trying to eat drop I probably okay. I understand. Hey, Almond, Tony. Jake is really

I wasn't trying to eat drop I probably okay. I understand hey, I'm only Tony. Jake is really Bucky me with this all like You said hey Tony Okay, you see this is a polite guy. Yeah, I didn't hear a thing you said I got a few things I want to pitch you my Tony All right, Tony you I will I guess Jake and I will give you our blessing if that's important to you. Thank you. That is what you asked. I didn't want to ask.

I will say that's how this whole thing started. Yeah. All right, let me ask officially. Yeah, Scott Tony. You're Tony. No, you're Tony. This is Jake. No, I'm talking to Tony.

Tony. Tony, you know what? What are you talking about? You guys want watching pizzas? And Jake, yes. It would mean the world to me. If you would give me your blessing and asking Shaea for her hand and marriage.

Well, let's see. Should we give them her? I'll tell you what. Does this answer your question? We will. We will. A. Does it?

I've heard all of you. All right. Thanks, guys. All right, thanks guys What song is that oh just a little thing I thought up a couple of years ago Interesting share This is very sudden But this is. What? I'm a soppy right there.

Oh boy. Oh, oh. I want to marry you. Whoa, share. I've had multiple marigoldes. No more guesses. In the last couple minutes there. Whoa.

I was just orgasming over and over in the corner. Okay, we just need to get clean up in the corner apparently. The corner is the corner. Okay, we just get clean up in the corner apparently. There's a mess. Okay, ill. What about his cars? I hate, no, I don't think she was orgasming there. I don't know.

Oh no, the cars mess it too. So it has nothing to do with Tony. You're just orgasming like crazy. Hey, what can I say? I'm an artist, okay? Yeah, I come and I go Okay, I want to marry you share and then I want to divorce you I want to oh and I want to pay you out of money. Oh

I knew this exactly what I want I knew this would happen share I I Kip leave I'm save us but I cannot accept your offer for my head and marriage if you're going to pay the Alibaba you're making a mistake. What? Who's making this a share? Tony. Tony.

Come on. Yes. For sure. You're making this a you're making a mistake and not be specific. It passes on me. He's passing on fucking share. Are you a share money? This is this is share. She's coming like crazy.

You dope. You say yes to this. Jake. I'm coming again. Uh. She's coming like crazy. You dope, you say yes to this. Jake, you're coming again. Ah, the corner's a mess. Jake believe me. You ran back to the corner and came really quickly. I understood exactly what I'm doing. You do?

Yes, I do. And I could not, I've never felt my heart this heavy, share, I'm sorry, but I simply, I simply cannot compromise this one aspect of my character. I cannot accept Alibone from anyone. I am the one who pays Alibone. Wow. Well, I respect that. I guess I'll just have to go with Plan B then.

What's Plan B? Tony Sony. Ay! Oh my God. Tony Sony. Ay, yay. You can be my guma, my mink guma. No think I think she wants to marry you not be a good mom. Yeah, yeah Okay, is that a curse you're mentioning a different pizza. Ria

It's like taking the Lord name of any nor it's one of my expressions Okay, just not that specific like taking the Lord name of any or it's one of my expressions mom of you pizza. Oh, I see. Okay. This not a specific. Yeah. Sometimes you says, uh, I'll be a pop up here. Oh, okay. Baby go die.

Rea, of course. Oh, what's that? Oh, that's the last part of that. Baby go die or really? You've never heard that. Uh, I never have. That's like saying, Jingle Bell's Batman smells and not here. What?

Robin Layton. Hey, what does that have to do with Christmas? You're a song parodist. This news to me. That's like saying jiggle bells Batman smells and not here what Robin Lane hey, what does that have to do with Christmas? Yeah, I saw paradise This news to me Maybe go die in your pizza All right Tony Tony Tony Tony so New York Share you sure you want to marry Tony so I love him. Oh, come with me to take scar I love him. Oh, come with me to Jake's car

Sound more like boring Okay, let me put my head in your car zone. Okay. Oh god. Hey Jake your car is gonna be a mess here Hey, it's okay. I'm I'm really excited. Yeah, yeah, this could be our for the movie. I mean, it's great for the trilogy Yeah, but alamoney Tony. I'm saying, oh, oh, there goes Sharon. Tony Sony never to return. Wow. But how would you know they're never going to return? Why would they have any reason to go that seem deported? But Alamoney Tony, you're still here. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I, you know, what's got I'm still here. Yeah.

And that's kind of how it is with love. You know, you go up, you go down, but eventually you're still here. What a fuck up. And yeah, oh, that's not. Sorry, I honestly get, I honestly, I'm trying to be nice. I'm doing a rise.

That's not the real me snuck up. That's a fuck up, my guy. That is a big slip up. Well, I understand why you see it that way. But I respect it personally because Tony, I mean, you're you're you're you're state consistent to who you are. And that's maybe the most important thing. You're you're gonna die without share money in your pocket. But I will die with my mother's money on my pocket. That's right. Yeah. Who are you giving your you've never had children? Who are you gonna give your money to me? I'm going to give it to Jay Leno

He hasn't touched that tonight. I'm worried for him. Yeah, you just wanted to go in that fun Yeah, you like his portfolio going. I just I what I hear of say he never touches us I just I what I hear of say he never touches us It fills me with anxiety with What's he gonna do? Yeah, wow, okay? That's a wild move from let out Well, I'm very strange that he doesn't and then he keeps talking Yeah, I feel I he must have dipped it at least his toe into that probably he does so much stand up He might not need to like where the ps5 came out. I bet he did Just try to get one of us. Yeah, honey baked. Yeah, not need to. He may not need to. Like with the PS5 came out. I bet he did. Oh, he's trying to get one of those. Yeah.

On eBay. Yeah. Well, look, Tony, we have to take a break. Uh, I think can you stick around? Of course I can. Okay. Well, you have cleared the day for you, Scott. Oh, thank you so much. You don't need to do that much. Uh, just maybe another half hour or so. But, uh, we have a writer coming up and Jake, you can stick around. Please. Uh, we have a writer coming up. This is very exciting.

We'll have more Alamoney, Tony. We'll have is very exciting. We'll have more Alamoni Tony, we'll have more Jake Johnson, we'll have more comedy bang bang after this. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I guess the steps would be by a TV. Yeah. Find someone to hook it up for you unless you know how to put RCA cables together. Geek Squad. Geek Squad would be a very important part of this. And then, if you can do it on your phone, you can do it on your phone. Really, you'd prefer people watch this on your phone.

Honest to God, I don't care how people watch this anymore. Well, they missed the subtle nuances. Uh, I think everyone will be fine. Oh my God. We're in a views game here, baby. Watch it on the phone. Do you think the geek squad is upset that they're called the geek squad?

Can you imagine just getting hired for that gig and being like, hey, we need an expert to help people set up their TVs? And then like suddenly they're like, hey, guess what, the geek squad is here. I think the dark patrols are on the way. I think they were fine until Apple created genius Bar. Right exactly. I think so. I think it's where Geeks, but they're geniuses.

The geniuses. Those are fucking geeks too. They're geniuses. I don't mind being the Geeks Squad if they're also the Geeks Squad. Yes, but they're the genius bar where the Geeks Squad. I like what you make an appointment at the Genius Bar and no one knows that you're there. And you don't know what's going on. Same. And people, what they absolutely are not looking at you on purpose. I had a genius fix my phone the other day and there was something going on with the charger and the genius pulled out the charger.

The jarger. What the? The jarger. He's a phone not working. Did I say? I said jar jar. The loser with the jar jar. Oh, I got you.

And they pulled out a tool and just took a little bit of dirt out of here. And it dirt and it fixed it and I thought just another genius to a genius move. Just genius shit all day. Well done my genius cleaning up a little dirt. This is like a genius for do. We also have Elmonitonius here. Hot. You seem to have bounced back from the share business.

Yeah, life goes on and there's plenty of official to see. Yeah, there is. I mean, as far as I know, the world is half women, maybe even 51%. Like it's 51%. Yeah. And it's gonna be all women, is that weird? Yeah, is that strange?

They say by 20, 29. Just all men will be all women. Is that weird? Yeah, is that strange? They say by 20 29 just all men will be who says that? Where do you get those facts? We didn't like hear that build it's interesting. It's like a Bill Gates thing. Yeah, yeah, it's I think that's something to do with the vaccines. I got you guys die off trying to eliminate all 5G interesting. Yeah, we have to get to where next guest we guest. This is very exciting. She's been on the show many times before and Jake, I would imagine maybe you're a fan of her work but she is a writer, she's a world famous diarist. Please welcome back to the show Bridget Jones. Wow. Yes, it's fucking awesome to be here. It's mental. Bridget, so good to see you again. So good to see you. Looking like a chunky donkey candy bar.

Thank you so much. You look like a chunky donkey candy bar. I don't know whether that's a compliment or whether that's a compliment. It is. It's a compliment. In England. In England it is. Yeah, you make my day better.

It's a good thing. It's a compliment. Thank you so much. Yeah, it's so great to have you here. Bridget, what catches up for new listeners, you, we first got to know you, you were, you're of course the person that the movie, Bridget Jones's diary, and it sequels is based upon.

Yeah, yeah, so Bridget Jones is the great. We don't know it. We've all seen it. Renee's Elegar. Yeah, she did a really good job now. So good. She didn't call me like nail the accent. Like like there was never a documentary that kind of blew up with how charming

you know. I'm right. I'm sitting here waiting and America falls over the class. Yeah. Really nobody's nobody's heard a word. Nobody's contacted me. They took it but they took your diaries and then they spawned into Hollywood But garbage they took the real story they made absolute shit

Did you not give approval? Did they steal it? I gave him a You didn't you didn't read the fine print Man no money not so much not compared to diamond and the other guys compared to some Joe off the street but you talk about the players the panel is not making enough of it yeah but you didn't read the fine print you didn't even read the the regular size I am reading under the prints yeah find out later oh the movie became a big hit

we saw we're just Colin Fart and that freaking umpilumphalatal. Oh, the huge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hugged wrong. Whatever his name is. The world famous lover of low jobs. Yeah, he's on record as as really enjoying what to jail for. Yeah, he's like, that's how much you like low job so much. I'm gonna go to jail. Brave man. But you know. Oh, brave man. But yeah, you jailed it.

Yeah. Faith. Oh, that's right because he was on the little hell. What the hell were you thinking? I had everyone laughed and then he was the king of late. I thought you made a jail and I love blowjobs. Oh, I mean, he does through those denim jeans.

Look, it's not a shirt. By the way, it's not such a weird thing to say you grand love blowjobs. Hugh Grant loves blowjups. We all love blowjups. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like Jake? Uh, oh, you're iffy on him.

Yeah, really. I don't like anything touching my genitals. Okay, anything. This is a problem with your relationships. No, I just, I think that's an area that shouldn't be touching. Yeah, it's an hygiene. But I- What's up?

Not even with the bunch of teeth. Ha ha ha ha. I will say the fact that it's a bunch of teeth you and me are like it seems like too much Not even rows and rows of teeth. I'll tell you what there are softer areas With no teeth Well, that's why a few grandmothers jelly found somebody who could take a good tea That's part of the story that doesn't get brought up, but that person didn't have all the teeth Miss divide. Thank you for saying that yeah, the real story like you should be talking about the real one But so so we've heard some of the

Entries into your diaries over the over the years and and how vastly different they are than the actual Movies that of course were still big fans of the movies, but they take you some sort of like alternate Bridget Jones version. Yeah it's all glossed up. Yeah so fancy exactly. We haven't had tea and did they go down in Chicago like what the fuck. Right but that's not the case. So you are Dyrace? I think so. Yeah. So you've been writing these new diary entries in a bit to get a reboot going Well, yeah, like I'm just sharing me real diary so people know why stuff with me, right? Because like I want to share the real bridge and story and hopefully yeah Maybe someone makes a doc you series on

Maybe someone puts some shit together for Netflix. I don't know I mean Jake's here talking about how he you like to self-fund his projects. Maybe he was. I'm excited. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I got some entries based on me month of January. Okay. Yeah. We're about halfway through January now. So you've written some things. Yeah. Just share you some entries from you. I would love to hear some. Yeah. We always love your entries. Look at you. Look at your heart pocket. Is that good? Yeah, look at your heart pocket. So I really love it. In what respect? Well, you're retrying to look at your lumpy.

Look fully stuffed. Yeah. OK, I mean, popping heart. Look, the diet starts after the holiday. He's OK. That's right. Good stuff. You know what I mean?

Happy stuffed. Happy stuffed. Like a present. Sure, sure. We love presents. We love presents. We love what's wrong with looking like a present like a big fat lumpy present You think that old press looking like a snack people say you look like a present. Yeah, like a gift. That's nice Yeah, it's nice. Well, yeah, so anyways, you know, January's a month of new years, but solutions changing and all that sure

So this is let me redo some of this, okay? P-E-R-D? I think we've done enough preamble. I feel like we could launch into this with no further delay. And the pacing of this show would be incredible. If we were to just suddenly launch into this. Okay, dude, die there. So, you're going to read from your diary.

Yeah. And this is different than the movie. Yeah, different than the movie. So, I know. And it could be a docu-series. Oh, who? Wait a second. Here's your share. I'm glad that happened. Here we go. LAUGHTER Dear die-way, it's me, Bridget Jones. This morning was a typical English morning woke up

to the sounds of ducks fucking popped to the gym for me new year's resolution. Gid me bobs in bits, propped a slamming, just like posh spice when she was poured in her dad's rolls' rice. When all of us are dead and the gym chap be telling me I need to get out, something about me pissing on the elliptical and rubbing it around with a rag. Then it ate me. Clearly this man was in love with me and wanted to gump me goopy girl But then again, it wouldn't love bridge Wow

Sounds like you had an eventful Beginning of January the yeah, I've been going to the gym getting my fat. Yeah, no, you look great But I guess I meant the being kicked out for a ping on the elliptical part of it I don't think I that's ever happened to me Pacing on the elliptic though. No, and being kicked out for it. You both sides of that equation. Oh both you haven't had both You have a boat. I just need it. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah. That's too bad. I'm even going to gym getting my fat Maybe you could hit it up. Which gym do you go to? Do you go to the one by edged bevix? I do go to the one by edged bevix. you go to the one by Ed DeBevix? Or?

I do good. I go to the one by Ed DeBevix. I have a friend who works there. Yeah, she's, I bet she's the one who kicked you out. She wipes off the machine. The machine, yeah, she got me away. Yeah, oh, she got me away? Yeah, she was like, you down here.

You need to live. Oh, yeah. What was her name again? My name's Lily Sullivan. Oh, right, right, right. Beaky from the gym. Oh, yes, right, right. Bikki from the gym. Bikki, oh yes, Bikki. So that's great.

Do you have any more entries? I do, yeah, you aren't here more. I don't hear the round of applause. Oh, I mean, I guess we get a plop through. Oh, I got it. There, Dara. It's me, Bridget Jones. This morning was a difficult English morning.

Well, cut to the sounds of all of a twist choked. Popped a local puppet in order to myself something healthy, because menu-used resolution is to eat like a dying bird. Doggy driplets, motted and cookie-cunk, with a side of soggy snouty sauce. Knock of a sudden. The barwrench be telling me I need to get out. Something about me pissing on the pool table and rubbing it around with a rag.

Then it hit me. Clearly this wench was in love with me and wanted to slug me sloppy, while she manchest as me football. But then again, who wouldn't the wench? Can I ask Bridget? Do you ever record any die-ra-tries at night? ball, but then again, who wouldn't the bench? Can I ask Bridget, do you have a record any die rare trees at night? Yeah, sometimes when I'm feeling really spooky, give the crystals out and start writing. Because it seems like you talk about the beginning of your day.

Yeah. And then that's it. Yeah, yeah, it seems like morning pages. Morning pages. Yeah, right. Yeah, we've never heard an entry that takes place after lunch. That can't be. No, I guess you did order this. No, you saw us on the side. Well, that's like a lot of stuff. Snotty soggy stuff. Snotty soggy stuff. That was on the side. You don't like that on the egg. No, no, I'm not a cowboy

Okay, well do you do you have another I mean there's so much has been going on in January I would assume you have another entry yeah In the afternoon Wow Hold on to your campus Hamper's is that's an English expression to your campus. Hampers? That's an English expression. Oh, it's not your campus.

Dear diarrhea, H.M.E. Brazy Jones. This morning was typical, I mean, sorry. I misread that. This afternoon was typical English afternoon. Welcome to the sounds of Jamie Oliver making chicken nuggets. We serve a new job. You're waking up in the afternoon. I was good. I slept in Okay, sure we all do it. I the late night. Yeah. Oh, yeah

I'm talking about you can infer I had late night That would be an interesting entry. It's not freaking. Yeah, why did you have a look? There's no important. I went out with some friends. What happened? I got to Uncle I know it was dancing on tables So this is the exactly the kind of stuff that's in the movies bridge Jones diary. No, it's not How are you how are you seeing it? Sure, it's all about our life and our mistakes She makes her life embarrassing herself. I don't embarrass myself. I'm mad cool Everyone's obsessed with me. Really you never had a lot you didn't fall off one of the tables at the bar

No, I was fucking on the table coyote ugly style Sexy dance in his coyote ugly. Yeah, exactly. I mean you've ever been to a bar I mean maybe not a coyote somebody asked water, your spray water in their face. In a cool way. It gets cool. Everyone loves it. Even the person getting squirters. They love it the most. They love it. I saw that.

All movies. Multiple times. I like to. It was part of a double feature. I like to see you wrote the song on the rooftop. So romantic. She was closer to the moonlight. Would you, would you get a fight?

Oh, yeah. One was it. Could you sing it? Can't to the moonlight. Would you get a fight? Oh yeah, what was it? Could you sing it? Can't fight the moon like that's all I remember. You can't fight it. Go on and continue. Do you want to continue with this? Yeah, you love it. Yeah, you love it.

Especially when you're in the office. You can't wait here. You can't be so for a new job in an office, because of me new year's resolution to be a boss bitch. Just like Margaret Thatcher was before she died for being a snoozy Sally Waggy and a stupid asshole. When all of a sudden, me boss be promoting me. But, something about me doing an excellent job with the files and the schedule so I

thank the chat by making a macoffee and pissing on the computers and rubbing it around with a rag. It doesn't feel like the movie at all. Clearly, me boss was in love with me and wanted to wiggle me weasley twins and room inside me Paulie would then again who wouldn't love Bench. I mean I I think that your boss might be in love with you the fact that he's allowing you to come to work in the afternoon and then giving you a promotion immediately. It's just woken up. I wonder what the producer saw in the first round of

diaries. I don't know because they're so different. And you got Renee, Zellwiger, that era to say yes. Yeah, wow. That must have been, I mean, this is some disgusting stuff. You know, I think it's, I'm a big fan. But what? I love it. Yeah, I love it.

For everybody's sense of, what was the last word to? To my father. Yeah, yeah, we're all That's everything but it sounds a new Jake like you're not interested and putting up the money for this I Didn't say that I mean I got to talk to my lawyer real who's your lawyer by the way He's a Johnny Cochran. Yeah, oh, no, I mean honestly though you catch it the famous one Hello Jake Oh, John, so John yeah, it's be Johnny Cochran. Hey, John. It is a different one You can't say that the famous one Hello Jay Yeah, it's me Johnny Cochran. Hey, it is a different one. That's why I felt embarrassed by saying yes

But no it should mind J.O.A. did why? Yeah, so Johnny there's an idea for a project that I am excited about oh great you know business better than me I do that's my job. I entertain the lawyer to the stars. Yes, this is Bridget Jones from Bridget Jones's Dyer. Tumbed. So you're real. I am there, we're meeting. This is exciting.

It's like meeting Peter Pan or something. Yeah, I'm forever young. I don't mean in terms of your age, I mean, because the fact that you're a fictional character is here. Yeah, because you're definitely age. Yeah, I hang out with little kids. I'm from the men. No, no. No. fictional character because you're definitely age Yeah, I hang out with little kids Where are we out here babe get me out of this one. I'm in a danger zone because I pre-committed I mean obviously it's up to you right but if I were you yes, I wouldn't do it. All right, unfortunately

I love the idea. Yeah, but my lawyer saying it's just a bad time But I love it. I think it's great. I mean if I had any good if I had any criticism It's that every single time you come on the show every single one of your entries is exactly the same with just a few slight Word modifications. That is not true at all. It's really a lot of variety really yeah, if you'd listen I I have been listening. Have you been listening? You've been on the show, I think, at this point, 10 times, you're just like, it's like three times.

Including you came out to our tour stop out there, and that's when you met me, and you were obsessed. I don't know. You're like, oh, Johnny, what do you say? She's selling it. Imagine her on Lennon's couch right now. Yeah, people aren't coming. Yeah, this is regular couch.

She doesn't have a show anymore, but just, he bought a couch, he came into his mouth. I on Lennon's couch right now He doesn't have a show anymore, but just he bought a couch Get into here this from the Lennon's gonna steal back the tonight show again Who's got it now? Yeah, he's it's right for the taking right now also, you know I'll be happy doing last man standing taking it over with Jay Because you know, he does the reports on last man standing with the Tim Allen I heard this no what he doesn't get paid he goes on

He loves it who does what Jay Leno does Tim Allen showing for some reason doesn't get paid He doesn't want to get paid because guess spots loves being on it. He's so weird with money I guess sports loves being on it. He's so weird with money. Yeah, it's So I think it's just me and him it's last man standing no Tim Allen anymore obviously, okay, but you splitting Tim Allen's part Oh, wait, you're going to hold it. How's it working? So you're going to be Replacing Tim Allen. Yeah, both of us you at who me and Jaylen I would get the jade doesn't get paid and Jay. But Jay doesn't get paid. But that Jada doesn't get paid. Jada doesn't get paid. Yeah. She doesn't have to talk about the slash. All that's all that's

though she does is for free. The book tour. The book tour. Talk about her. She would pay to do all. She would be part of her king. Exactly. She is. it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it. She would do it three years. I go. Oh, uh, uh, I got to go between or Johnny. Yeah, Johnny, Cochran, yeah, go to, uh, if W, W, W, W dot, we know all that for a Cochran parentheses, not that one and parentheses. Dot, com slash, you got Johnny, parentheses, no H and parentheses. And I'm on it right now. There's also a slash. If the glove don't fit, you must have quit as well. Why did you put that in there?

That's not supposed to show up. But yes, it's done that. What does that have to do with your business? It doesn't have to. I don't know. By the way, it was a cheaper domain. If the glove don't fit, you must equit.coms are cheaper right now.

That's it. It was just the one. The guy that did my, the guy that did my website is an asshole, and he thought he would be funny, and he gave me a great deal. Okay. Yeah. And then I found out about Squarespace. Well, this episode brought to you. Of course it is. Sorry, bridge, but come back on the show again and you can try again and yeah you can listen more entry is your obsessed I don't know that I'm obsessed but I mean you do keep the mic around the show it's I'm obsessed I knew it I knew it I knew it I know everybody else besides maybe Scott I know Johnny I'm obsessed I don't you love that a little up size Hey Tony Tony Sony's back. I just want to say I'm obsessed to like Tony

Great to hear from you again. I'm so sorry. I have to leave immediately Maribel you're finally talking she's obsessed to Tony Tony You know what I'm saying Let's be gentle. Yes, thank you. Thank you. It's not these wait a second. Hey Scott. Can I talk to just you? Oh, sir Okay, yeah, check I mean what about Tony and preach it. Oh, that's right We went to the PR I guess I just wanted to hear Tony talk to me Her long stretch. I'm not good enough for Tony.

I can't play with being assaulted. But Bridget, you're single obviously. Obviously. For sure. Guarantee. Have you ever thought about dating an older gentleman? I mean, not much older because you are. I'm 55.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I could be interested. What would you like? What do you want to? Well, I like to do song parodies. I'm not very good at it.

I like to wear tennis clothing, but I don't play tennis. I do love to love. Do you wear the tennis clothing because it's just the the breeze Yeah, it's like the look. Yeah, the classic look. Yeah, it's really it makes you seem classy in a way. Thank you very much I'm not in I don't like classy. Yeah I'm too classy for me. I know and for this reason you're out. I'm freaking out. I'm pulling the plug right a diary entry honey Get us back

East me bridge of Jones It was a typical Hollywood evening Finally worth it. I even you really what this is what you what? Yeah, okay? Johnny let's buy a Johnny! This is huge! Finally we're at the beginning. This is what you want? Welcome to the sounds of people getting a big shot in their assholes. I said you saw that. Where are you at? Check your e-bang.

When to record an episode of Comedy Gangbang? Close. With sauce, hot tomen. Went to record an episode of comedy gang bang close Finally a compliment that's hot or what Cuz my new years resolution is to donate to hags who are sad Okay, donate I think she means her time being on this show and I'm the heck Yeah, yeah, oh you nailed it. Okay, how did you know Interesting yeah Clearly he was in love with me

I appreciate that Look bridge always a pleasure to have you, but we are running out of time. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Does that surprise you at all? No. No, yeah.

I didn't think it would. No, I think Almonito needs to give it the maribel. You think so? Yeah. Oh, let me ask her. Let me ask her. Maribel, are you single? Well, as a matter of fact, I am recently single.

So am I! It ended very badly, but for good reasons. Well, I'm glad to hear that. What could reasons are there to end something badly? Well, sometimes it's so bad that when it ends, it's actually a good thing. Can you wrap your mind around that? My poor little brain, yeah, it's a little soap, maribel.

Do you think you can figure that out? Jake, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, I'm sorry. She's not a fine man. You got to find me. I know, I don't know what she is such a pain. She's my mother. She's your mother.

I'm so sorry. It didn't mean to say that about your mother. You're not wrong. I don't know. Do she's killing my career. We're talking about Spider-Man. He came up so fast. Oh, I don't know what to do.

So what do I do here? She's my fucking mom. She's living with me right now. I want to take you on as a client. Really? Yes. So I want to expand my business here. Comedy bank being doesn't need to just be a podcast

or a TV show. It's a PR firm now. So I'm not against this guy, but you would have to fire my mom. Because I don't have the guts. I don't have it. She's my mom. I adore the woman. She's. I don't have it. She's my mom. I adore the woman.

She's tough as nails. All right, I can do it. Okay, whoever wins, I'm their client. Okay. Murvel, Murvel. Murvel, Murvel, Murvel. Shut the fuck up for a second. I beg your pardon.

Come here. Cool, Scott. This is very rude. I think I'll take my hand. What? Okay. Now what? You're fucking fired.

Are you fucking kidding me? Fucking fired. You fucking kidding me. You are not working for my client Jake any longer. Your client. That's right. He's my client. Well, you're out of here baby.

Hit the fucking bricks. And by the way, he doesn't want to see you this year for Thanksgiving. He doesn't want to see you for Christmas. He wants you out of his life. Not accurate. That's just don't want to represent me. I'm sorry, Jake, but if you're my client,

there's no way you're spending any time with her anymore. Jake and Bake is this true? Well, no, I, thanks. I want time with her anymore. Jake and bake is this true? Well, no, thanks. I want Jakey, baby. So yeah, you're my star client. I know, and I want to be the star client. Yeah, I'm gonna devote 100% of my resources to you. And you are torn with Cindy and Brad.

You gave a lot of time to Brad and we both know it, mom. Brad was having a moment and I decided to capitalize on it. And by the way, would you do the same for you if you ever had a moment? By the way, Maribel, I'm also Steu and Kevin Spacey. Just you and Kevin. Let's go! I'm so happy. Fuck you, Bob.

I can't believe that worked. Maribel, you'll make me the happiest bed of the world. You need money, Maribel. I'd suggest getting in on this. If you would agree to be my wife. Tony, of course I'll marry you. Oh my God. This is wonderful.

Starting the New Year off right with a new marriage. Jake, you have a new father in the house. Stepfather. Stepfather, you have a new dad. I'll also be your father if you like. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, well this is a great happy ending

to start the year off. This is awesome. Wow. This makes me so happy. Get go easy, you have to leave. You have to go. Scott says, don't come, you have to go. I would rather spend time with Kevin Spacey. You have to go.

Wait, share, would you say it? I would. Absolutely. Yeah. Can we pick this off? Absolutely. What is,'s it gonna be? I've always wanted to hear you sing Walking in Memphis

Why not record it for you? Well, I know that's out there. I don't want to hear it. I would hear it Oh, I said she does it for me at the wedding Oh, my God What a dream This isn't the wedding we should specify this is just no it's not her I know what there's not gonna be a wedding now what yeah That sucked Just because you're I'm coming I'm coming

This is your kink share If Tony's Tony comes I do have to wrap it up By the way, I keep saying all right you you'll know that I'm trying to get to our last feature on the show last feature on the show. That is of course. Tony shut up. That is of course a little something called plugs. The The The The The

The The The Oh, right. Thank you so much. That was a plugs Odyssey by Afro duck sound. Afro duck sounds. Thank you so much to Afro duck sounds. If you have a plugs theme, head over to ComedyBangBangWorld.com slash plugs and submit it and you can also get in on these remixes for the closing the podcast. Gotta get on the remixes. Gotta get in on that. Guys, what do we plug in Jake? Obviously you have three projects going on, two of which are active. Yep, self-inlines coming off now. Yeah, we're here to help. We're here to help, where you hear podcasts, The New Girl on Hulu, Stumptown,

which was on ABC, got canceled. Let's be cops, Jurassic World, Spiderverse, and some other ones. Yeah, you're full body of work. And when it's somewhere streaming, whatever theater you did beforehand in order to get you interested in acting probably. Yeah, a lot of theater.

Why not? And on my computer, a whole folder called Jakes writing. So check it out. You can hold it in his computer. There's a lot of scripts, a lot of pilots. There was a 70s show spec on there. Yeah, we got to hold a hundred pages computer. Why not?

Get mine. Yeah. Alamoney Tony, what do you want to plug? Well, listen, I want to plug it on behalf of somebody named Paul F. Topkins. He's going to do it a bunch of shows. He's doing a bunch of shows. He's doing a bunch of shows. He's doing a bunch of shows in the sketch fest,

San Francisco sketch fest. Oh, wonderful. A festival. That's coming up at the end of the month. One of the festivals, go to polertopkins.com slash live for ticket information. He's gonna be going, he's gonna be doing variatopia. He's gonna be doing comedian feud.

He's going to be doing Spontorco. He's going to be doing the neighborhood list of live. This is gonna be a fun fun time You got to check it out got to check it out. Where can people get information about that sketch fest? All of Topkins dot com slash live like I said. Oh, okay I don't listen to beginnings Really yeah, I think the end is where all that meat is I know but the beginning is of a sentence like a fun setup I know but it's like, you know,

all the important stuff is always at the end. But sometimes you might not understand things if you don't hear the beginning. Don't care. All right, to each the road. Bridge, what are you doing? That's why you don't get my freaking entries. Don't listen, I have to shit.

Don't listen to the first half of the sentence. They're all the same. Uh, fucking dick. Look, you're like the pieces shit. Oh, no, you're the delgreder. I think that's a compliment, Ningo actually. What do you want to plug in? Actually, I'm having my buddy Tony, Tony,

you plug it inside. Oh, great. Tony Sonny's back. I want to plug for my guma Plug really so within the wait Lily Sullivan is your guma. She's my guma She's got a couple podcasts on CBB world this book changed my life She's on hey Randy and she has a solo show at the Elisabeth theater on February 7th Okay, but one full calendar week before Valentine's Day. Yeah, keeping it romantic. Like, give me a rock.

Isn't it a full regular week as well? Yeah, I think it is, yeah, I believe so. It's not a baker's week, eight days. I wanna plug, look, this is good advice go over to CBB World and check out those shows. We also have the neighborhood listen is currently on CBB World and check out those shows. We also have the neighborhood listen is currently on CBB World and we have Scott hasn't seen where we watch movies. I believe Jack Quaid was just on last week. We watched Godzilla. And also, you know, we're doing a live show.

I'm not sure if tickets are sold out yet, but comedy bang, bang live is at part of the Netflix as a joke fest. That is May 8th at the Bolasco here in Los Angeles. And because it's an LA show, we'll have plenty of great guest stars. So if there are still tickets available, then come see that show. And it will be, you know, hopefully we'll have something else to plug regarding live shows pretty soon. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. I'm a man because you know just what we're gonna do I'm gonna see L

What? I'm gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's Oh very nice that was closing the plug back spillover by Jacob Crosby the first of our remixes all right guys I want to thank you so much Jake. It's so great to have you on the show finally joining the exclusive one-timers club along with Gary Goldman and Donald Glover who only did the show once We're back in the first year never returned and stiller exclusive club we've decided that the more successful you are, you've only done it the fewest amount of times. So if you're ever back, you can tell your career's that you're down to.

Thank you so much. Look forward to seeing the second part of that exciting Spider-Man movie out this year possibly. And Almoni Tony, great to have you on the show. Sorry, we couldn't hook up any kind of a love connection. That's hey, that's okay. You'd all bounce back. You will.

I truly believe the next time I see you, you'll have been married and divorced. Maybe you know, eight more times. Oh god, willing. Yeah. And hey, Ridge, what can I say? What can I say? It's been a day.

And also it truly is. But I don't want to talk to you. I really? It's been a day. And also. It truly is. But I don't want to talk to you. I really want to talk to my good friend, Tony Sony. Hey, we have a good time. Tony, I've been razzin' you a bit, but you know I love you. Do you? I have. You want to hand me back?

Of course I want to hand me back. I need to beat the pie on this, come to the fun game. We barely scratched the surface of what you're all about. I get so much to offer. You do. Michael Lies. Sure. And it's about it.

It seems like about it, but I would love to have you back. Please come back next week. Promise me that. Next week. Yeah, I can't wait to be on again. Yeah, every week. They're after. No.

OK. Deal. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye. No! Okay, deal! Alright, we'll see you next time, thanks bye!