Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Kyle Mooney, Will Hines

Episode Date: December 2, 2024

Comedian/writer/director Kyle Mooney joins Scott to talk about his new movie Y2K, Brigsby Bear vs. Brother Bear, and Jack Bauer. Then, baseball player Bags Mk.gee stops by to talk about his belief of being alive for over 200 years. Plus, restaurateur Ian Vanchuri drops by to pitch his original and unique restaurant concept.Vote for your Top 10 Favorite episodes of 2024 over at CBBWorld.com/voteGet tickets for the Comedy Bang! Bang! Into Your Mouth Tour 2024 over at https://CBBWorld.com/tour Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Please help me now. I'm filled with gout. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to HoboBot. Hm, HoboBot. Well, I guess an automated, unhoused person. Thank you so much for your automated response here for that catchphrase

submission. I believe the hunt will still continue. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. We're in December, we've made it. I forgot to mention last week, the best of voting is now open. I forgot to mention this, but it's very important. Best ofs are a mere three weeks away, I believe, and we need your votes.

Head over to cbbworld.com slash vote and vote for your 10 faves and raves. And then we hope to hear them in the best ofs coming up at the end of the year. That's very important. We want to make sure that you vote early and often. And my name is Scott Aukerman. We have a great show for you today.

This is a classic episode of Comedy Bang Bang. And I've said it before. I'll say it again. Stars are back. Stars have returned to Comedy Bang Bang. There was a fallow period. First, of course, we had that terrible, the coronavirus, the novel coronavirus,

shocked and rocked podcasts across America, if not the world. And then we had that sag after a strike, which, boy, even though we accomplished so, so much with it, it was a death blow to podcasts where we couldn't talk to any of our favorite movie actors, television actors. They would not come on to discuss their work.

I was forced to speak to other podcast hosts for months and months and months. Ugh, but now stars have returned to Comedy Bang Bang and there is none brighter than today's. He was a cast member of a little show that occurs, honestly, only one third of it occurs on Saturday night. The other two thirds occurs on Sunday morning and yet they still for 50 years have called it Saturday Night Live. It doesn't make any sense, but he was a cast member for, I'm gonna guess, I'm gonna guess six seasons.

Did you do six? Wow. You're off buddy. Did you do five? Nine years. You did nine? Yeah. That doesn't seem possible. Hey, I'm here baby. I'm here to talk about it. You did nine years. You did nine years. I did nine years. Remember when that was like, you know,

like a Belushi would stick around for three. Right. And Bill Murray was maybe like four. Well, they were much more impactful in a short amount of time. I just can't, I mean, like when I think about your reign, and we did call it a rain when you were on there. I know.

It doesn't seem possible that it was almost a decade. Do you feel like you were there for a decade? And I'll introduce you in a second. I'm trying to, yeah, I mean, yes, I lived in New York for close to a decade. So because you lived it, it felt like that for you. Absolutely, yes, it was most of my thirties, I guess. Really?

So what are we talking 30? I turned 29 when I got the show, when I landed in New York a day later. So most of your thirties, so we're talking 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 is about when you opt out. Yep. So most of your thirties, we're talking eight of those 30 years.

Yeah. Eight of those 10 years in the thirties. Wow. What'd you do when you were 38 and 39? That's when I left, right? Yeah. I had a child and then I made the movie, and I made a movie. So you made the movie and I made a movie. So you made a child, you made a movie and great.

Those are two good things to do when you're 38 and 39. Relatively life changing to some regard. So you have sex, which makes the child. Did your movie start with having sex? First of all, thanks for bringing it up brother. Cause this is actually one of my favorite subjects. No, but I actually really do love fucking. He really loves fucking pal Mooney is here.

Hello. Hey, good to be here. Thanks for having me, Scott. Wonderful to have you back on the show. Good to see you again. And we, of course, uh, course, we talked about your first movie that you made. Yeah.

Pretty extensively, mere moments ago, but you have a new movie that's coming out this Friday. Oh wait, this was the movie. This was the movie. Wait, what about Brother Bear? Brigsby Bear was 2017. Brigsby Brother Berenstain. Brother Bear, I think is a Disney animated film.

Would you have liked to have made that? Absolutely, I love Disney animation. Yeah, and I think it was one of the, could be one of the last like 2D, like non-3D. Do you wish you had made that instead? Then Y2K or Breastly Bear or both? Either one. Both. No.

No? It doesn't feel necessarily specifically me, but I still- Brother Bear doesn't? I've never seen it, to be totally honest. But I would love to say, I mean, I would like it additionally to the other two. I've never seen it either.

I would love to do an episode of Scott Hasn't Seen about Brother Bear with you. Let's do it. Let's do it. We'll do it right after this. We'll have to watch the movie first. Okay. This is probably like a six hour commitment.

I know I can't today. You know you can't today? Yes. Well, when are we gonna do it then? I'm well, I'm going away for the holidays, but I will be back on Sunday. You'll be back Sunday? Yeah, I've got some press stuff.

What time on Sunday are you gonna? Like Sunday? Yeah, I've got some press stuff. What time on Sunday are you good? I assume press stuff starts early afternoon. But what time are you back? I'm back Saturday. Saturday night. No, I'm back Friday.

I'm back Friday. Oh, you're back Friday. Let's just do it Friday. Saturday might be the time to do it. Okay, well, we'll get this. No, no, no, let's figure it out right now. Let's figure it out right now. Okay, what time we'll get this. We'll tell you.

No, no, no, let's figure it out right now. Let's figure it out right now. Okay, what time are you usually? Is this something I come to you for? Yeah, I don't tend to go to. Why six hours? The movie's probably 90 minutes. The movie's 90 minutes, but then my co-host Sprague

is really hard to get ahold of. So we'll probably be texting him trying to figure out what he's coming. Well, let's figure that out ahead of time. Let's not make that a day of, okay. It's part of the process. Oh, okay. He dodges the text for a while and then he just randomly shows up.

Maybe I can't do it. All right, we'll figure this out. Let's figure this out off air. Okay. So when did you make Brigsby Bear? You made that while you were at SNL? Yeah, I think we- Is it S and L?

Like sports and leisure? Well, no. No? S and Saturday night N. But is the N, you know how like, like puss in boots? Does it stand for in or and or? It's night. It stands for night, the evening,

like Saturday night, starts at 11.30 PM. Okay. It seemed like you had a, conceptually you'd wrapped your head around this when you intro'd. Well, I mean, when you say it out loud, Saturday night live, that makes sense, but then you say S and L.

I don't say that. I rarely am, I'm not really referencing SNL being like, SNL was crazy, I love SNL. But yeah, if I were to say- How many times per day do you talk about SNL, would you say? It was a big part of your 30s from what I was told. Okay, yeah, that's accurate.

In conversation with my family or strangers or all. With your clergy person? Don't have one. You don't have With your clergy person? Don't have one. You don't have a personal clergy person? I told you I'm really into fucking, man. That's sort of-

Okay, that's a good point. So with your family, your loved ones, who were you closest with in your life? Definitely my loved ones. Your loved ones, okay. Very close to them. You know, maybe it definitely comes up multiple times a week and I feel like, I hate to say it, I refer to it as the show.

The show, almost like it's like you've been called up to the show. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, well, when I was at the show or like. It loomed large in your life. I mean, I believe I called my television show, the show for a while and then someone called me on it

and was like, what show, dear? Yeah, it was Paul of Tompkins. And, but he knew what I was talking about. But yeah, when you work very hard on something for a number of years, you can just call it the show as a shorthand. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, do you write shorthand?

Can you write shorthand or read shorthand? How does that work? What is that? It's like a bunch of squiggles and little symbols and stuff. Yeah, it's like little symbols and stuff that people write down and then they go like, oh, okay. And the reason for it is because the human mouth travels at such speeds when one talks

that it would be impossible to write longhand accurately. So it's for like kind of transcribing mostly? Yes, notating what people are saying in real time. Okay, I don't know, I can't do that. Would you like to learn? Yeah. I would love to. I wanna do an episode of Scott Hasn't Seen

about Brother Bear with you. And I wanna learn shorthand with you. Okay. Possibly at night school. Whatever you want, sir. Okay. I am left-handed though. Oh, interesting. How long have you been left-handed?

Your entire life? As far as I know, yeah. I don't know when I became aware of it, but I feel like, I think I heard that one of my parents tried to correct you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Do you feel like that tied into your off-kilter sensibility? Well, back to the fucking thing.

I'm so sorry. What do they, yeah, they say that there's an artistic quality to it? I guess, although- I think Jimi Hendrix. Jimi Hendrix. Abraham Lincoln, maybe? Obama? Do you think that's why Jimi Hendrix. Jimi Hendrix. Abraham Lincoln, maybe? Obama?

Do you think that's why Jimi Hendrix was always setting his guitar on fire? Cause he's like, I can't play this thing, I'm left-handed. I'm set on fire. People have said that. That's true. Okay.

So you made Brigsby Bear. Oh yeah, did I say when I did it? That was summer of 2016 and it came out summer of 2017. So you made Brigsby Bear, oh yeah, did I say when I did it? That was summer of 2016 and it came out summer of 2017. That's a good amount of lead time to make a movie. Sometimes you'll get a release date for a movie and it's like, this is next week, I can't make the movie by then.

Yeah, that's scary. You know, so like a year. Well, I don't know if exactly that version has happened, but yeah, I guess, yeah, sometimes. This is just too quick. I mean, I need to cast it, I need to shoot it, we need to edit it. Like next week is just too soon. Sorry, is there a movie specifically you know of

where this happened? Just every once in a while this happens to you in show business where they're like, we need a movie next week. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. But a year, that's a good amount of time. It was perfect for us.

Yeah, how long did it take to? Like if they had if if they had said, you know, you only have nine months. Could you have done it and then I? think so because we premiered at Sundance and that's in January and we probably wrapped in Maybe late July July or August. So how many months is that that? Sounds to me like seven months. So I think it was pretty much, I don't know that we really changed it after Sundance.

So seven months is about what it took for you to make Brigsby Bear. Yeah, I mean, well, Dave McCary directed it and there were a ton of other artisans who worked on it. So I can't take sole credit for that. But you'd like to, right? This is, it's funny, I feel like this is sort of the reputation I have, and no, I'm actually not that guy.

I apologize, this is just what I've heard about you. These are in the notes. But so you didn't direct Brigsby Bear, but then- I co-wrote it. But then suddenly. Okay. With Kevin Costello. Okay, I'm not mad.

I'm not saying you didn't. Okay, I'm sorry I said that, I apologize. I'm, what I'm trying to say in my roundabout way, and I apologize for taking too long to getting to it, but that you didn't direct Breaks Be Bear, yes, you co-wrote it. I don't know why you had to say it like that. But then suddenly a movie is coming out this Friday

called Y2K and you're directing this, like how does that make sense? Like what, you know, like you didn't direct one movie and then now you're directing this movie, what's going on? It seems very possible that something like that happens. But yeah, I mean, it's been a minute since Briggs-Rivert. Sounds to me like it's been about seven years.

Your math is probably better than mine. We shot Y2K in the spring of 2023. So it would have been. Don't bully me, sir. I don't feel like I'm bullying you. I feel like I'm trying to get you to stick to the facts. Okay, well over here, it feels like bullying. So you're not used to hard questions.

I guess not. You're about to do a press tour starting on, I believe Sunday. I've already done some. You're about to do a press tour starting on, I believe Sunday. I've already done some. You've done some and everyone's treated you with kid gloves, I would imagine. I guess so. Yeah, this is kind of the harshest it's been.

Well, I apologize, but that's what happens on this show, Comedy Bang Bang. It is the podcast of record. I guess that's cool. It is pretty cool. In any case, so you directed this movie, Y2K. Did you co-write this one too? I co-wrote this with my friend Evan Winter,

who, yeah, I pitched the idea to New Year's Day 2019. If you wanna keep, I'm still throwing out a lot of years here. Yeah, tell me about this movie, Y2K, from what I'm told it comes out this Friday. It's your follow-up to Brigsby Bear, which you did not direct, but you co-wrote. You also co-wrote this movie. Now you starred in Brigsby Bear. You have a smaller role in Y2K.

That's correct. Who is in Y2K? We got Rachel Zegler, Jaden Martell, Lachlan Watson, Daniels El-Gaudry. At what point did you just start making up names? Cause I knew Rachel Zegler. In that run? Yeah. Well, nah, I didn't. I feel like I'd get in trouble if I started making up names.

Really? Like give me- Dude, A24 made the movie. Give me 10 names of people who were in the movie and make up two and I'll try to guess who the two are. Okay, so now I, there's a new batch of names, right? Or do you mean- No, you can start with, you can start with the ones you started with

because I don't remember any of them. Okay, Rachel Zegler. Okay. Jaden Martell, Lachlan Watson, Eduardo Franco, Daniels El Gaudry. Okay. You got five. Five more.

Ethan Heatherington. That one's a reason. That guy I've heard of. Four more. Tim Heidecker. Laurie Dunaway, Alicia Silverstone and Johnny X. Johnny X. I'm stumped. I haven't heard of any of these people other than Heatherington.

Yeah, Ethan brought it and it was just so cool cause he's not a comedy guy and just to see him out there like, and he's so tall. What is he? What is he up to now? Because he's one of the rare human beings that just kept growing. Yes, exactly.

Still growing. He is nine four. Incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, now, shit, what time is it? He's, yeah, he's could be nine five. Oh shit. Now a lot of people have not seen these folks out in the wild, the ones who are still growing.

They are legally, of course, prohibited to play any kind of sporting activities. Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, and I talked to Ethan quite a bit about this. Yeah. Does he wish he could, or is that a burden that he didn't even want to take on? He, yeah, he's,

because he would be great at some of the sports where taller people excel at. What are we talking? We're talking, I guess any of them. Video games. Yeah, probably skiing. Yeah. Because you're so tall,

you can see those poles that you have to go through. Yeah. Before anyone else can. Yes. And you're like, okay, I'm gonna aim for that. Yes, and that's like one of the things that Ethan and I would talk about is the skiing poles or the, those things that you're like, okay, I'm gonna aim for that. Yes, and that's like one of the things that Ethan and I would talk about is the skiing poles or those things that you're talking about.

Yeah, it is frustrating for him, but I think that like that's why turning to the arts was so powerful for him because like that's his way of expressing himself. And like it's sort of a vehicle, if you will, to sort of talk about those struggles that he's within character, but that he might not always get to talk about

in front of people. Wonderful. I love this. Tell me about Y2K. The film comes out this Friday. From what I understand, it's coming out in theaters everywhere across the United States. That's my understanding.

I haven't like looked at all of the cities, but that's essentially what I was told. And what is the... Premise? I guess premise or vibe. Yeah, what's the vibe? What's the vibe of the movie? Okay, well, I'm going to start-

It's just chill vibes or is it- I think that depends on your, I think it sort of depends on the demeanor you bring into the movie theater and your movie going experience. I will say the movie is about teenagers in on New Year's Eve, 1999, going into 2000, two dudes who decided to go to the big high school party and at midnight, some serious shit goes down.

I'll say that Y2K actually happens. So this movie comes out, it's Friday, and you must be excited. You're in the big leagues now. You're up on the silver screen. Yeah. And, you know, things are about to change. I mean, I definitely am excited.

I like the movie. I feel like we spent the last week touring with it to some different cities and the response has been really wonderful. Yeah I hope it does well. People let me guess laughed. There was some definitely some laughing. Yeah hmm now I'm at the point where I've seen enough time that I sort of I leave so I don't fully get to observe what people are reacting to about but typically I'll stay for 15 minutes maybe. Why the 15? Like what happens in minute 15

that people should decide whether they walk out as well? I don't want you to put it in people's ideas. I don't want to put it into people's heads. Give them the idea that they could walk out. Why shouldn't they walk out? Well, it's a movie I helped to create and I know it very well and I spent a lot of time in the edit watching these scenes over and over again.

And the whole movie. If this is like someone goes to see Y2K, it's one of their favorite movies. Yeah. But how many times do they watch before they get bored and they go, I can't even watch 16 minutes of this thing. You wanna know what my number is? Yeah, so you can sort of let that person know.

Let that person know, like, if this is your favorite movie, don't watch it more than- Well, I don't wanna stop them from watching. I mean, I'll probably watch it again. I feel like... Nine, 10. Only 10, and you're already like, can't stomach another- Um, nine, 10. Only 10 and you're already like can't stomach another.

Of the full, of the complete, the absolute completed version, the like end of the process of editing the movie that- Soup to Nuts. The Soup to Nuts version. Yeah. That could be inaccurate. Maybe it's 24, I don't know. Yeah, Jack Bauer, remember him?

Dude, my brother is actually friends with him. Friends with Jack Bauer? Yes, which I thought was crazy. Fucking rules, thank you. That's awesome, is he always like, I mean, I guess he's busy like one day a year. Yeah, I guess that's the thing. I'm really busy that one day.

Yeah, I've not met him, but like, yes, I have. I have heard, I guess that's sort of the deal. Yeah, so like you can hang out with him, but one day of the year, you try to get ahold of him. Again, I don't know him. My brother has said that like, yeah, he is sort of, he gets difficult, but seems to be a nice guy. I saw him one time, like one time at my brother's place,

but he was sort of leaving as I was entering. So didn't get to talk to him too much, but really funny, nice guy. I saw him one time at my brother's place, but he was sort of leaving as I was entering. So didn't get to talk to him too much, but really funny, nice guy. He's funny too. Wow. Really funny. Oh, that's awesome, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was telling me this story about getting wasted and he was going to school or something like that. And the teacher's like, is everything okay? He's like, yeah, I'm just fine. He was telling us on his way out and you're on your way out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny, I mean, it sounds funny. It was a story that he was telling to the group of people

before I arrived. So you cut the tail end. Exactly, so I was like, oh, what happened? He's like, oh, this story about where I got wasted. And the teacher's like, what's going on? He's like, I'm feeling fine. And nice guy, funny guy. Sounds funny. Sounds like a good story.

I mean, I would need more context. Yeah, that's pretty much everything that went down. It's cool though. Yeah. He's a legend. I don't know much about him. Like, but yeah, I know he does cop stuff or. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's hush-hush, secret stuff. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, CTU. Nice to see you too. It's always great to have you on the show. All right, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we'll have an athlete, and then a little later, we have a restaurant tour.

That's very exciting, yeah. So we're gonna be right back. We'll have more Kaimooni, more Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Y2K is in theaters this Friday. We have Rachel Ziegler and Mr. Heatherington. What was his name Mr. Heatherington.

What was his name? Ethan Heatherington is in it. Stacked cast. Kyle Mooney directed. He also has a smaller role in the film. Are you a teacher? Have you, are you the age of people who play teachers now or a principal maybe? I play a video store clerk in it.

Video store clerk. Yeah. Video store clerk? Yeah. Okay. You remember video stores? I guess, although weren't they kind of closing down by the year 2000 anyway? No, they were still around, but it was the transition was it was VHS to DVD. Okay, really?

Yeah, I think it was sort of the, it was the early aughts, it was probably around 02, 03, 04, 05 when like they really started shutting down. Okay, so this is about the kind of the last golden years it was probably around 02, 03, 04, 05, when like they really started shutting down. Okay. So this is about the kind of the last golden years of a certain era. Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. And you grew up in this era and it's got a lot of nostalgic. Yep. I was 15 when Y2K happened or didn't happen depending on how you- Depending on your point of view. Exactly. Yeah. And were you able to stay up all night

or did you fall asleep at 9 p.m., like a good boy? Well, I was 15 years old. I was kind of bad at that point. You were a bad boy when you were in high school. I mean, I did some bad boy things. I was a good boy generally, but I did some bad boy things. So you view yourself as a good boy who does bad boy things. That's your sort of self-image?

I think that's fair, yeah. I feel okay about that. Yeah, and that's what your loved ones would say about you? You have to ask them, but- Could we talk to them? Do you want me to call somebody up? Could you call someone? Somebody who knew me when I was a child or like a teenager?

Sure, anyone. Yeah, who's a good, somebody are we talking to the mic right now? Are we talking about like, how about your friend that you wrote the movie with? My current status, am I? Okay, I'll invite it. We just need confirmation that you're a good boy

who does bad boy things. See if Evan picks up. I feel like he would pick up. He should pick up. This is the director of his movie. A week before the movie comes out. What if you're calling to tell him like, it's a word of hit. Hello, this is Evan's phone.

Leave me a message. Wow. So you don't even have... That's how much of a bad boy I am, I mean, people don't even have people who will pick up the phone when you call. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're a bad boy

who maybe occasionally does good things. Yeah, I feel like that's right. But then why would you describe yourself as a good boy who does bad things? Wait, sorry, give me your... I think now you're a bad boy who does good things. Oh. I actually, I still think I'm the former.

You think you're a good boy who does bad things? Yes, I feel like the starting point is goodness. Excuse me, I'm sorry sir, why are you clearing your throat? Yes, I'm just waiting to come on and I don't know how to explain why I had to clear my throat. My body just-

It's okay, we'll get to you in a second sir. Yeah, it wasn't an expression. We're in the middle of a discussion. Of course. Not an argument. It was non-judgmental. It was not an intentional thing. And I'm not, you know I'm not trying to stretch this out.

No, I can see you're trying to wriggle out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, but did we resolve it or? I think I generally come from a place of goodness. I think I've got a good heart. You seem like a good guy to me. Thank you. But I see the potential.

But I've done some bad boy stuff. What are you basing this on though? You just walked into the room and sat down at the microphone. But I've witnessed this interview for the last 45 seconds, 50 seconds. And he's got a very polite air. I appreciate that.

He's listening to you. Okay, I'm listening to him. You also seem like that. How do you categorize yourself? I'm a good boy who does good boy things. Oh, that's what I would say. You're a strictly good boy. Strictly good boy across the board.

You're a good boy who does not have the capacity to do bad boy things, and you're a good boy who can really get down and dirty. But I will say, I do feel guilty if I go too bad. Like how bad? Like where's the guilt start to set in? Like how bad do you have to get? I think if I hurt somebody's feelings,

yeah, I don't feel good about that. Doesn't leave a ton of room for bad boy stuff. Not a lot of wiggle room there for bad boy stuff, just hurting someone's feelings. Toothless bad boy stuff. Yeah. Okay, well. You're a good boy who occasionally does bad things

and feels terrible about it? Maybe, yeah, that's probably more accurate than the initial pitch. Kyle Mooney's on the show. Y2K is out this Friday. We need to get to our next guest. You don't need to. Well, truly, I mean, I don't want to impose.

I'd love to talk to you, but I mean, we have the time. I love talking to interesting people. And this is the show where we talk to interesting people, of course. And our next guest is an athlete. I don't know for whom you play or what sport you might play, but please welcome Baggs McGee. Baggs McGee. How's it going?

Baseball player. Baseball player. That's right. Great. And you're a Padres fan. I love baseball. I love Padres. Me too. Me too. Great team. Oh, thank you so much. Not my team. Yeah. Who do you play for? Well, I'm currently unemployed.

I most recently played for the Newark Bears. Single A team. Oh, the Newark Bears. Newark. Newark Bears. Newark Bears. Newark. Isn't that isn't that funny how they try to trick you into thinking it's New York, but they call it Newark? I never thought of it as a con. But I guess. You know what I mean?

Like, hey, everyone, come to Newark. Newark. I never thought of it as a con, but I guess- You know what I mean? Like, Hey everyone, come to Newark. Newark. We have so much going on here in Newark. I always took it upon myself to really articulate the name of the city so nobody could mistake it. What's your thing? I have reason to believe, and I can't completely prove this, that I am 200 years old.

You have reason to believe you're 200 years old. That's right. But you can't prove it. No. Okay, I mean... I remember being born in the year 1780. Wow. Okay, that's two almost 250. My god. Years ago. Time flies. We're coming up to the sesquintocennial. How do you say that word of when you were born? Sesquincentennial. That's a tough one. Call it something different if it's gonna be that hard, you know.

You're telling me to? I'm just saying the people who invented words. Let's call it the 250th anniversary. Sure. Now, you remember being born though? I don't know. I don't remember being born. I didn't mean to say that. I just, I have memories shortly after, but you know, I remember being six or seven. And in and in the 1700s. That's correct. And why do you think, the birth of our nation. Why do you think it was the 1700s? Were people wearing the tricornard hats?

They were. The wigs. I mean, why did I think, you know, probably at that age, I didn't really know what year it was, but by the time I was 12 or 13, I started to be aware of what year things were. And it was the I was 12 or 13, I started to be aware of what year things were. And it was the 1700s. That would be 1790s. Okay. I remember, I remember George Washington stepping down for being president. Oh, damn. I remember that. Wow. Okay. Was he one term or was he a two? He's a two. He's a two. He's a two. And then he voluntarily left.

Yes, people were like, they wanted to elect him again and he said, and it was all the news that he refused to run again. And you heard this on the news, on the radio? My dad was railing against it, not on the radio. It was just the guy walking through the square, shouting the news. So this is how you got your news back then.

A guy would walk through town shouting. The crier. He'd have his newspaper and we called it Fool's Scap. Fool's Scap is a newspaper size sheet of paper. Okay. And he would read from it. So can I say you don't look like you're 200 years old? I agree. You look like, you know, kind of a 50, five year old guy who doesn't really take care of himself. I'd say I play mid 40s.

I don't know about that. Well, I'll take you to court for that. I'll sue you for mis-aging me. Yeah, mid 40s, I stopped, yeah, I stopped aging at about this time. And for a while I thought I was just well preserved. I always had a special diet. So when you hit like 80, that's right. In the 18 sixties or so, that's right. You did, is that when you sort of got the inkling that maybe you weren't aging any longer and I kept it quiet.

I kept it, kept it mum, started getting into baseball. You start getting into baseball. That's right. It was a new sport then. And so you start, so how long have you been playing baseball? I mean, I've been, I mean, my first game was in 1890. So you must be really good at it because you played so much. I can't get a handle on it.

I can't get a handle on it to be honest. Really? Yeah. But I have a couple of skills that I have sort of evolved that made me, I'm never gonna be the star of a team, but I'm a good utility man. Okay. How are you catching pop flies?

Bad. Ha! You gotta catch those pop flies. I know, I get in my head about it. It's a big part of the game. That is one of the easiest things to do, but I get in my head. What's in your head?

Like it's gonna come to you on the head, maybe you might die. I mean, I think that I just think how stupid I'm going to look if I miss it. I worry that I've overshot it. Have you ever come close to dying in like an accident or something? So it seems like you're not going to die of old age. What about from an accident? I've been in several accidents and they haven't killed me.

I was thrown from a train. And then what happens? Felt great. It felt good. That's right. That feels good to you. That felt good. I was thrown from a train. And then what happens? Felt great. It felt good. That's right. That feels good to you. That felt good. I was surprised too.

That's like pleasurable. It felt like I was getting a nice big hug. Okay. So then I kept pushing it. Right. And I started flinging myself off of faster and faster things. First, a horse, then a faster horse. The next fast thing I tried was a plane.

So you flung yourself out of a plane. Whoa. That's crazy. And what? That's what I thought. Without a parachute? I was like, maybe it's my time. I've had so much time on this earth. Maybe this is how I'm meant to go. Because you're in your 130s, 140s. Yeah, that's right. And so you 130s, 140s. Yeah, that's right. And so you jump out of a plane. What happens? I landed in the, by coincidence, landed in a huge bale of hay. So it wasn't a good test.

Yeah. Because I felt great. And it, again, it like stimulated your pleasure zone. Yes, I felt comforted. So I went on another plane because I didn't feel like that was an accurate data plane. Yeah, the hay bale. Exactly.

You need to fall on something hard, very hard. At least the ground. At least at the very least. Yes, if not more. I mean, water might do the trick if the plane's high enough. Yes, water would be fine. Absolutely. You're a reasonable man.

Sure. I got another plane. I threw myself out of it. Wouldn't you know it mattress sale, mattress. Was it president's day? Yep. Damn landed on a huge pile of mattresses. Felt great. Felt great. Not a good test. I actually have a, I have a question. Yeah, please. Um, so you're not, you're not positive that you've lived this

long or you are, I feel crazy saying it. And I'm like, I must be remembering something. I believe that I am 250 years old. Have you kept any relics or clothing or anything from the course of your life? I'm not much of a keeper. Any evidence, yeah. So, okay.

I wish I did. Once I should have, you know, once it dawned on me. Do you have any old Confederate money or? No, I didn't. You know, I moved so much. I don should have, you know, once it dawned on me. You have any old Confederate money or? No, I didn't, you know, I moved so much. I don't know. Maybe the Declaration of Independence. I wish, I wish I had one of those. I saw it. You saw it, really?

They got passed around a lot. Really? You get, they did a little tour of it around all the cities. Wow, God, I'd love to see that. So you're very old and indestructible. That's right. Are you akin to a god? In a way, I suppose.

I mean, it feels crazy to, I mean, I'm just a wannabe third baseman. What position do you play? Shortstop. Trying to move over. Trying to just move a little bit to the right. Feel a little exposed. That's a hard, that's a tough position.

Third base? Both. Yeah, that's a tough position. Third base? Both. Short, yeah, they're both very tough. Yeah, I can't really do either of them that well. Yeah. It's interesting that they allow a shortstop, right? Kyle, you're a baseball fan. Yeah.

They allow a shortstop because it's like, look, too many balls are getting knocked in that area. We need to add a player in there. But yeah. But they don't let you have one in between first and second? Well, I think the distance between first and second and third base and shortstop are pretty equal.

So shouldn't there be a player? Well, if there would be a player, it would be a player behind second base, I think. Behind second base. In front of the center fielder. Oh, okay. Yeah, why not? Well, they call that Rover.

And so I feel like we have that position in T-ball, but I think at this point, not speaking as an expert, I think the game is pretty well established. How many people should be on the field in your opinion? Cause right now they allow nine. I think nine's a good number. You like nine. I'd go 15 at least.

Well, then it feels like a lot of balls would get caught and there'd be a lot of put it. Right now there's a lot of balls would get caught and and that's there'd be a lot of put it like right now there's a lot of balls just being hit everywhere and people are scrambling around trying to get them and all this kind of stuff. Well that's to me the fun of the game is people getting on base you know. I love that. Running around. Yeah yeah yeah. The people getting on base? Getting on base is great. It's fun right? How are you as a batter? Not good. Okay. So you can't catch. I'm okay as a hitter

That's cool. Not a lot of power. What's your average? 50 Not good. Yep But doesn't busy you keep on getting invited back to play in these I thought a number you're playing single a ball Single a ball is no joke. Have you told your friends or no players? I haven't I've kept this pretty mum if somebody notices that I won't lie It's one of those things like it's not a secret, but I'm not yeah Yeah, what about have you ever been married ever been married four times four lovely women?

And I did tell I told my wife you told them and they ended in death or they ended in them getting old and dying I'm so sorry. That was very difficult, very difficult to endure. But I usually would get the hell out of dodge when I saw them getting a different age than I was. Oh, really? So you were like- Well, this is too weird. You divorced them before they could get to-

Well, once I'm dating a 75-year-old woman, and I'm a spry, late 40s, mid 40s, could play for mid 40s. Mid 50s, mid 40s could play for mid 40s. Mid 50s probably. I can't, it just looks insane. So I just would usually either fake my own death or just amscray. Sometimes I would do that. I did that for my second wife because she was persistent.

And if she thought I was still alive, she would have tracked me down. Okay. Yeah. It's kind of a dick move. You know what? It's true. I wish if I could find her again, I would,

oh, she's dead, I'm sure, but I would owe her an apology. Yeah. Yeah. She was a ragtime singer. Ragtime singer. Musician. Yeah.

Wow. And is there a lot of singing in ragtime? It kind of seems to me like a piano, mostly piano, but she would insert herself into the song and, you know, really make it her own. So she, so she was, she would make up words. You know, it's the entertainer now. The entertainer has come to my place of business and now I pay him. Um, this is fascinating stuff.

That's okay. Well, I'm just here looking for a baseball gig. So if you know of one, that's why you came here. Yeah, I liked, yeah. I'm hoping to get a job, you know, we don looking for a baseball gig. So if you know of one, that's why you came here. Yeah. I liked, yeah. I'm hoping to get a job. You know, we don't have any baseball jobs. I'm hoping somebody listening maybe needs somebody. Um, okay.

I don't need someone who's good at getting hit by pitches. Well, this is, I gotta say bags McGee, by the way, your last name, McGee, it's spelled M K period G E E. Are you related to the singer McGee? I am. Yeah. Related how? Uh, I think, I believe he has my great, greatgrandchild. Okay, so you've had kids. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, and there and there are a lot of them are dead your kid. Yeah, a lot of them are dead Yeah, they age and die. Are you still having kids like Al Pacino and Robert De Niro? Yeah I'm uh, I'm well, I'm not having a child right now, but I'm open to it. Sure Okay Yeah If I meet the right lady and we fall in love, I would love to have another child. But the right lady, if you fall in love, she has to know that once she gets to be, what, 50?

75 or 80, I mean, like, I'm not, not 50, 50's great. Once she hits 50, we're like in the same ballpark. Metaphorically, of course, although. Sometimes we are in literally the same ballpark. If I'm in a ballpark, yeah. From 50 to 65 is the real sweet spot of my relationships. Then it starts to get weird. They're like, oh, I miss my friends.

Oh, I'm going blind. And I'm like, all right, you know what? I don't know what you're talking about. I'm going blind, jeez. All right, well, look. Hey, I appreciate you letting me on. Hey, Bags. I understand you had no choice.

Bags, it's my pleasure. Okay. I don't book the show show but pleasure to talk to you You're an interesting guy Yes, thanks for having me. Well, um, we have to take a break. But when we come back, I guess bags McGee is gonna be here Kyle you have to go right? So yes, I so much fun as always. Okay. Well, it's great I want to meet you. Great to have you here with your movie. Thank you so much. Yeah, when we come back We'll have a restaurant tour. That's I I'm sorry you're gonna miss the restaurant tour.

That's too bad. I do like restaurants. Yeah, so do I. I like eating at them usually. Yeah. Yeah, that's a fun thing to do. When we come back, we'll have more Bags McGee and we'll also have a restaurant tour.

This is a packed show. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Kyle Mooney had to go, but I did want to say his movie Y2K is out this Friday, and people can go to the theater and see it. It sounds like a fun time. Y2K was a stressful, weird night when people were wondering if it was really going to go down. I can only imagine. You've seen the turns of three centuries. That's right. And that was the most stressful one. That, I mean, I can't imagine.

There was nothing like that. Going into the 1800s, people are just kind of like, yeah, more horseshit everywhere. Exactly. Yeah, right. All right. Well, we need to get to our next guest. He's a restaurateur. We've been hyping him long enough. He, I guess, has a restaurant or is starting a restaurant. I'm not quite sure, but let's talk to him. Please welcome Ian Vanchuri. What's up, Scott?

It's incredible to be here. I'm very excited. Incredible to have you here. This is really something special for a guy like me. It's great to have you. This is Bags McGee. How you doing, Bags? Nice to meet you. It's actually wonderful to meet you, and it seems like you're a guy like me. Yeah, it's great to have you. This is Bags McGee. How you doing Bags? Nice to meet you. It's actually wonderful to meet you and it seems like you're a very interesting person.

Thanks so much. Wow, that's so nice. Absolutely. It's no problem. Were you listening at all to Bags tell his story? I heard a little bit when I was coming down the stairs, apparently something about the olden times and Abraham Lincoln, I believe. That's right. Yeah. I thought that was very very fascinating Oh, thank you. Absolutely. It is. Yeah. I mean he was he is was his hat as tall as people make it out

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was up there. Yeah, it's weird. It looked crazy He's so tall already and then he's got that he's like, oh, I'm gonna shave the mustache off but keep the beard He just like, oh, I'm going to shave the mustache off, but keep the beard. He just like very weird, ostentatious style choices. Right up until he went, I was like, this guy's full of himself. He's just peacocking. Then I felt terrible. Yes.

Ian, great to have you on the show. Hey, like I said, incredible. Incredible to have you. You own a restaurant or you? No, sir. Well, I guess I should properly introduce myself, Scott. I'm actually a little nervous to be here, but it's very, very incredible. Don't be nervous.

We have people from all walks of life here. We have, of course, Bags McGee is a baseball player who's immortal and indestructible. And then you're a restaurateur? Well, not exactly, sir. I'm 26 years old. See, there I am. I'm already swallowing my words. I'm 26 years old. See, there I am. I'm already swallowing my words. I'm 26 years old. I'm from Irvine, California. And yet, I'm not currently a restaurateur,

but I do have an idea, a restaurant concept that I'd love to share with you and all your listeners, if I may. Sure. Are you looking for backing? Is that why you're here? Yeah. I want to get this thing off the ground. And I think it's really original, unique. And I think I got something really special on our hands. That sounds great. I, some of the unique restaurants out there and, you know, Planet Hollywood.

Yes, I'm not aware of it, but yes, sir, that sounds- They're not around anymore, but they were, you would go see Hollywood memorabilia on the wall. Oh, okay. Cause yeah, I love, I love going to see a movie or a TV show or whatever is the newest hottest trend. Yeah. Yeah, what's, what's,

what are the newest hottest trends these days? I'm not aware, sir. I'm not really paying that much attention to movies or TV these days. Right now you're just focusing on the restaurant? Yes, sir. Yeah. It takes a lot of my time.

I want to make sure it's the, it's the perfect thing. And I want, I want to bring people together. Okay. And bags a lot of my time. I want to make sure it's the perfect thing. I want to bring people together. Okay. And Bags, do you, I mean, you must have- I love restaurants. I mean, back when you were born, it was like inns and taverns. Oh yeah, a pub. Sure. I wonder what the first restaurant was.

Like the first- Yeah. Where they were like, no, no, no, this is not like an inn. This isn't a tavern. Yeah, they were all functional for- This is a restaurant. Yeah. When that first started happening, it seemed crazy. No, no, no, this is not like an inn. This isn't a tower. Yeah, they were all functional for- This is a restaurant. That's, yeah, when that first started happening, it seemed crazy.

Yeah, but now they're everywhere. Yeah, people, it really took off. Yeah, Ian, what's your restaurant? Well, here's the thing, Scott, in bags, if you're like me, you love good, high quality food. I love it. Me too. To me, if you're gonna put it in your body, make it high quality.

Absolutely. And I've found that it's the fancy restaurants that sometimes have the best food, you know, great ingredients, it tastes good. They make, they're well made by the chefs and the cooks. Yeah, that's true. And I love going to a fancy restaurant. I love it. Yeah, it's a nice treat. Some absolutely but um with my restaurant with my concept This is a exploring something a little different because I love that type of food Yeah, but what if I said at my restaurant you can get that same type of food well prepared tastes excellent But you don't need to wear a tuxedo

Huh Excellent, but you don't need to wear a tuxedo. Huh, interesting. You don't need to. You don't. No sir. You don't have to wear a tuxedo. No sir, it's the same quality food, but you can just come as you are, casual. There's no need for a tuxedo. Do you mean, maybe you mean you have to come in black tails, just not white tails, is that

what you're saying? No sir, I'm saying you can come dressed just as you are right now in a hoodie or a t-shirt. You don't need to, we're going to serve really high quality, good, great food, but there's no need to wear a tuxedo. I don't understand. So, okay. Walk me through this. Yeah.

I go to your restaurant. Yes, sir. Dressed the way that we currently are. Yep. And I sit down and they don't just bring a pile of shit out to the table and make me eat it No, sir. We're gonna take care of you and make sure you get a great meal. I This has been my experience. I go to a restaurant a high quality fancy restaurant I'm dressed akin to the clothing. I'm currently wearing I get turned away at the door. We will not do that

And that's very sad and and this is sort of what I kind of fear was happening to people, which is why I was like, let's serve good food, but like, you just come as you are. Would there be a conversation between the maitre d and perhaps the owner where they're like, should we let this person or do you just breeze right through? Absolutely, sir.

And actually there are several components of our restaurant that I think are very original, unique, like this, that I would love to share with you if you're willing to hear. Yeah, I'd love to hear this. We also, besides the fact that you can come dress however you like, we will also be serving cocktails. So this could be a margarita, a martini. Once you put a tuxedo on, then they bring out cocktails.

No, sir. No, sir. This goes back to one of our foundational ideas and concepts behind a restaurant is, yeah, again, come in normal clothes. You don't need to wear tuxedos. I think I understand where perhaps Bags and I are misunderstanding you. Yes, sir. What happens at your restaurant is you come dressed in a hoodie or whatever and then they provide you with a tuxedo jacket. Is that what happens or?

You're making me laugh over here, sir. No, no. The idea is that we want to be able to create an experience where you can have a wonderful dining, a wonderful time dining and eating foods that balance out your palette in new and exciting ways. But... It's a great way to put it. Thank you so much. It's something I've been working on.

But yeah, but like, we don't need to make it all fancy-dancy. It should just be like, oh, this is just like, this is just my neighborhood restaurant that serves really, really good stuff. So wait a minute. You have your restaurant that serves high quality food That's delicious. You don't need to wear a tuxedo and then you have a separate venue for the cocktails, which is normal I walk out of the restaurant and go to like a Bar hopefully hopefully it's close by. Yeah, and you get cocktails there also not a tuxedo I've had a cocktail bar without a tuxedo

requirement so that part I understand. I wish you two were at all my meetings. You're making this sound even better idea than it actually is. But you know it's all in the same restaurant. Everything's taken taken care of and actually that brings me to another one of our ideas that I'm really excited about. I think that is something that really hasn't been done in the restaurant community is I don't know about you guys But I am so sick and tired of menus. I Yeah, I mean honestly, there's got to be a better way of imparting this living through the pages It's like oh my gosh is boring. So what we want to do is how you're right. That's the bigger

I would get paper cuts. Hey, I'm on some bambas are fall asleep Which is like what I usually do after I go to the restaurant. Oh yeah, if you had a nice good meal, ooh, that puts you in a food coma. But yeah, we're thinking instead of these menus that you have to just flip through and be like, oh my gosh, what's this? There will be a code.

A code, so like some sort of numerical puzzle. Yeah, like a- Absolutely, on the table that you could just- One has to solve in order to get the answers to- You're cracking me up. I wish you were in all of my meetings. We could be in all your meetings. This is the second time you've said this.

I'd love to come to some of these meetings. I love meetings. Well, let's see how the rest of this goes and maybe I could talk to you. I have plans, I think on Sunday, I'm seeing a movie with the Essendale cast member, Kyle Mooney, I'm gonna watch Brother Bear with him. Not familiar with his work,

but sounds like I do love that movie. You love that movie, Brother Bear? Oh yeah. What's the plot? Cause Kyle and I couldn't quite figure out what the plot is. Brother Bear gets lost in the forest, and it's just a whole adventure about him and his friends trying to make their way back. Like it's all about watching someone find their way back to something?

Yeah, it's really funny. I'd rather watch a movie about a guy who knows where he's going and then actually gets there. Well, maybe you want to skip this one. Maybe I'm locked into these plans, unfortunately. But yeah, anyway, there will be essentially, yeah, it's a series of sort of, I don't know, like tiny squares and you just take a picture of it with your phone and then all of a sudden

all of the information regarding our restaurant, like what we serve will be in there. And then, so you don't have to deal with the big old book. Huh. Okay. So you're gonna program your phones to be able to recognize a puzzle of some kind. Do you give us the phones?

No, no, no. We should bring your, you have a phone? I mean, I do, but I'd rather like get one. We will not be providing phones, but so yeah, if you can. Wouldn't that be cool though, like a restaurant that you don't have to wear a tuxedo to and you get a free phone? That is a very interesting idea

and I'd love to pitch that to my partners on this project, but at this time I cannot commit to an idea like that. All right, keep that in mind though. Okay, so we bring our own phones. Yes, sir. And then we rub it on the table somehow and then just the menus on our phone. Absolutely. Pretty good. We also have been talking about, I don't know if you guys have this experience when you

go to restaurants, but you, you know, maybe your eyes were a little bigger than your stomach. Oh yeah. You order a little too much food. Yeah. And so you're like, oh, I want to take this home. We've come up with this brand new idea. We're thinking like, if you come to our restaurant, you do not need to pay for to-go boxes. We will provide them for free. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. This is... Still on the not tuxedo thing Absolutely, this is the same place. So They're gonna i'm gonna come in dressed like this So they know that i'm a piece of shit And they're still gonna give me a free to-go box. They're not gonna make me beg for it That this is pay for it even worse. Yeah again. Again, this is part of um

the Elemental foundation of what we want to bring to the community. Do you have any other features on this restaurant? Yes, actually one of the, another very, very unique feature that I'm really excited about is all the servers are going to be cats and dogs. So I have a friend who is a scientist and he sort of developed a sort of goo and There were some cats and dogs that accidentally fell into the goo and they have sort of begun to Walk upright and they could talk and they have muscles and They will be serving the food

How big are these muscles? I mean like- Schwarzenegger, Stallone style? Yes, absolutely. These are the guys who started Planet Hollywood, by the way. I don't mean to throw you off. I don't even know what that was. I'm not aware of that. But-

The restaurateurs as well. You're describing somebody, I'm like, yeah, that's probably about the size. So- Really muscular cats. Yes, exactly. Back up one second. So you have a friend. So no tuxedos.

Not that far. No tuxedos. Because even though that's confusing, I think we're, I think we wrapped our minds. Cocktails, yeah. Margarita, martini, whatever you like, anything in the spectrum. No menus. Yes. So it's called a QR code and we're utilizing those to sort of show what the restaurant serves.

And then you have a friend. To-go boxes. To-go boxes, sorry. You don't need to pay for the to-go boxes. Skip over that. But then you have a friend who's a scientist. Yes, sir. Who accidentally invented goo or intended to.

No, he intended to make the goo. What did he think the goo was for? I think he was sort of trying to combine different elements and create some sort of powerful substance that actually wasn't meant to be used with animals or humans. The human physiology. Yes, exactly. And unfortunately, there was a situation where I guess some cats and dogs got loose. Were these his cats and dogs or? I believe they were just sort of running around like- These are like random cats and dogs that were-

Yeah, yeah, there might have been, because it's at a university. There might have been a situation where there is some sort of veterinary school and the cats and dogs got loose and they broke into the laboratories and the goo, they sort of, I guess, sort of splashed around in the goo and then sort of be sort of mutated if you will and became very strong and they they of course they will be serving the food at our restaurant which I will say it's slightly the only other component that is are you aware of mr. hammer I don't I don't bag have you ever heard of Mr. Hammer?

Not, not, not an icon. Do you mean MC Hammer, Master of Ceremonies Hammer? No sir, no sir, Mr. Hammer is a bad man who unfortunately also got hold of the goo and him along with his hammer soldiers are mutated soldiers. He's actually trying to take down these cats and dogs. That's a drag.

Yeah, and there's sort of some sort of battle over the Bodega, sorry, the Blo-dang-a-crystal sort of fight for control over that and whoever gets a hold of it sort of brings either lightness or darkness to the planet. Lighter darkness, right? They're entrenched in some sort of mythical battle right now. Yes, yes, absolutely. And these cats and dogs, they're so tremendous. They're so courteous.

They're incredibly strong. They're actually athletic as well. They can invent stuff, but yeah, so they- They can invent stuff? Oh, absolutely. They're one of them. So their brains have been mutated too, where they have- Yes, I think that there may have been a computer

involved in a laboratory, to is where they have... Yes, I think that there may have been a computer involved in a laboratory and that may have sort of synced into their brains, but yeah, they... What did they invent? Did they invent stuff for you? Well, there's one of the dogs in particular, his name is Spike Ruffles and he, yeah, he's one of the more inventor ones.

So he'll like kind of grab stuff around the house and pretty soon the next next thing you know, oh, here's a machine that can, um, you know, take you back in time or, I thought you were going to say like some sort of super wrench or something, but he, Oh, I'm sure he has tons of stuff like that in his workshop, but they're, they're going to be helping us out at the restaurant. Um, like I said, come as you are. Despite ruffles.

Yes, sir. Mind being a waiter or. Yeah, it seems like he has better things to do with his time. Um, you know, they're there. I think they're excited for the chance at normalcy. Sure. And, um, I think they they're looking forward to Just interactions with everyday folk I'm sure spike ruffles will be very happy to help you out with your phone problems guy

I got yeah, if you could put a word in for me or something, but absolutely Okay. Okay. Well, I mean this is Does mr. Hammer ever crash the restaurant and cause a scene? Well, again, this restaurant has not been built yet. This is sort of pitching the idea. Do you anticipate those kind of issues? I do think that could be an issue because I believe that Mr. Hammer's army is just becoming stronger and stronger.

Why do you believe that? I've just seen kids on the street getting recruited. That's too bad. That's tough when you're watching a little kid on the corner. Absolutely. And it gets recruited by Mr. Hammer. Absolutely. He's a mean, mean man and seems like he's really got a score to settle with these cats

and dogs. What was his skin in the game with? Did he want to be in the goo or did he wind up in the goo? He, yeah, well, it's complicated. Okay, well, we have a little bit of time. Okay. Absolutely. Yeah.

I'd love to tell you the story of Mr. Hammer and the goo. So, yeah, so he, uh, actually was the former dean at the university. And, um, yeah, he got into some trouble. Um, I'm not exactly sure what it is. I think it has something to do with like stealing money and fighting people. Those are two bad things to be a combo and you're a Dean. Well, like I said, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not speaking on behalf of Mr.

Hammer. This is just why I've been told I've only run into the guy a couple of times. And again, well, I told you you I've seen kids being recruited. I have been to his base, the Hammer Tower. Sort of a lair of operations? Absolutely, absolutely. But yeah, so he used to be the dean of this university and he was kicked out for fighting, for the money stuff.

Did they find both of them out at the same time? Or was it like, hey, we gotta kick this guy out for fighting and then once he's gone, they look through his records? I think that's exactly what happened. He embezzled millions of dollars. Yes, they went through the records around it that he was good to them. It seems to me if I was embezzling, I would be as like, you know, quiet.

Well, he was also, and the thing is, he was also aware of what was going on in the laboratories and was sort of, I think, sort of planting ideas about like, oh, this could be a sort of an avenue to try out. And I think that he had a hand in like, oh, maybe there's like a goo that could be created. So- He had militaristic aspirations perhaps for this. That's I think what I think was more militaristic.

So yeah, so he was aware. So he actually, I believe had a plan to steal the goo, if I remember correctly. Unfortunately, cats and dogs broke through and took a... They absconded with the goo, and the goo is all gone now? There was just enough amount of goo left that he was able to scoop it up into a container and turn into Mr. Hammer we know today. And he has been able to maximize his goo through, he has imprisoned some scientists

and that is how he's now using this goo to transform children into- I see, so they're synthesizing now some of this goo. Yes, absolutely. And they're using it to transform children. I have a question. No tuxedos? Yeah, yeah.

That's what I was- That's what you were gonna ask about. I went back on that with the cocktails. Can you get a beer as well as a cocktail? That is what we like to do and I'm a big fan of... Okay, I love that. I'm a big fan of microbreweries. Oh, that's fun. And...

So there's a good selection of like IPAs? Absolutely. IPAs, Pilsners... Back to the scientist guy. Yes. My friend... Your friend, yeah. Is he still in the picture or? Unfortunately, Mr. Hammer did kill him. I'm just sad. I'm so sorry. When did this happen?

That was actually the last three nights ago. It's okay. I'm so sorry. Your good friend who's a scientist is dead. It was very sad. I think we all sort of saw it coming. Why? Why? Because he was getting up in Mr. Hammer's business. Mr. Hammer. Mr. Hammer's not the kind of guy you want to get in. He was a little bit starting trouble.

The science. Oh, a lot of starting trouble. I mean, like Mr. Hammer, absolutely. Mr. Hammer's something I wouldn't mess with. This is, and you gotta remember, he's been mutated. So he's stronger than ever. He has access to weapons. And of course he has a hammer soldiers.

No, the mutation hasn't given him the access to weapons. That's just because he was the Dean of a college he had access to weapons, and of course he has a hammer soldiers. Now the mutation hasn't given him the access to weapons. That's just because he was the Dean of a college yet, access to these? You know, I'm not totally sure. I do think while he was the Dean, he was collecting vintage weapons, but I do think since he's become mutated, he has gathered some weapons experts

and they've been developing new technologies to help take down the Kassendong. Makes sense, I guess. Well, okay, so that said, that may be a bit of an issue where we go to the restaurant or invest in the restaurant. It's tough to tell at this point, and there's always the chance that before we open up, the cats and dogs will have taken down Mr. Hammer

and that's not even something we need to worry about. Okay, great, all right, great. Anything else unique about this business or? Well, I was thinking we call it, I was thinking we call it Ian's Spot. Ian's Spot? Ian's Spot. That's great. That's a great name for it. Friendly name. Appreciate it. That's great. Well, I mean, Yeah Appreciate it. Yeah, that's great. Well, I mean This sounds like a good place. Good luck. How I'd love to invest. I don't have a lot of oh You must have accumulated wealth over the years not good with managing money. So I don't I don't have how much how much you looking for You know, I'm not really a numbers guy. I believe it's who's your numbers guy?

Do that would be my friend Calvin. Not your friend the scientist. Oh no, no, he's long gone now. Long gone, he died three days ago. Yeah. Mentally you've moved on already? Well, that's sort of my relationship with death. I feel like once it happens. Really, why is that?

Can we dig into this a little bit? I mean, certainly, I mean, like, I've never put a lot of thought into it, but for me it's like, that's the finite moment, you know? And my good friend Christopher, you know, and My good friend Christopher scientist like I love my time with him I had such a good I had so many good moments and I remember him telling me about the goo and the possibilities of it What did he think the goo was for? He would so he knew it was all it was not meant to be mixed with

Any kind of like species? So what did he think it was for? I think that he was hoping that the goo could be implemented in new technologies and potentially like, you know, in foods and sodas and waters and sort of be used as sort of a supplement for people to gain strength and maybe it's something for the bodybuilding community. Some sort of additive.

Absolutely, because you see there's such a market for that these days. So he wanted to maybe sell these to like the Joe Rogan. I don't think he was even that far. I think it was like, these are the possibilities because it was such a powerful goo that could do so much. Turned out to be an incredibly powerful goo, but then he had to go get up in Mr. Hammer's face.

I know, I know. At least they're synthesizing the goo now and his work lives on. Well, yes, but it's for bad, you know. Sure, but I mean, these things have a way of working themselves out. I think so, I do think that like that sort of thing goes away.

I'm betting on it. I think the cats and dogs are gonna take care of it. Yeah, and then they'll retain the goo. They're very fierce and- They're very strong from what I hear. Absolutely, these are real kick-ass superhero guys. Some are cats, again, some are dogs. Sure, and they all walk upright.

Yes. Which helps them carrying the trays, I would imagine. Yes, and I think they'll be able to carry multiple, I mean, like you could carry, some of these dogs are so strong, just think like imagining the amount of trays they're gonna carry. But I would imagine balance comes into it a little bit too

because no other. Well, cats are like famously great at balancing and like landing on their feet. Some say that they have nine lives. That's a good point. Have you ever seen evidence of that, of them, any of those cats dying or? There was one of the cats actually that we did kill.

What? And he just died. Why did you kill a cat? That was a sort of test, like sort of, it was And he just died. Why did you kill a cat? That was a sort of test, like sort of, it was actually about the theory. Oh, about the nine lives theory? That's gonna be hard on that cat. Well, again, my relationship to death

is that like I had a good time with this cat. So you're so stupid. I do not know what that is, but. All right, well, Ian, Ian Venturi, this sounds like a great restaurant. Ian Spot. That's the hope, and I opened the pitches, and yeah, if anybody listening is interested inuri, this sounds like a great restaurant. Ian Spot. That's the hope and I'll open to pitches. And yeah, if anybody listening is interested in investing.

I'll be there first night. Well, thank you so much. We'd like to open at Irvine, California. Irvine, California, wonderful. Well, we are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. And that is of course a little something called Plus. Oh.

Open up the book and get everybody joining in and open up. course a little something called plus. And now here we are with the plug. I wanna hear all your plug, plug, plug. I wanna hear all your plug, plug, plug. Solo. Dirty pop, dirty pop. Open up your dirty pop, pop, pop. I wanna hear all your plug. Solo. ["Dirty Pop"]

Okay. Oh gosh. That, uh, that I believe was supposed to be our closing up the plug back theme, but wouldn't you know it actually worked out because that mistake the Ben always makes every year worked out. That was Plug Back Gassy Mashies by Rupert Holden Mashups. Thanks to Rupert Holden Mashups. And what do we want to plug here? Bags McGee, you have anything you want to plug? This podcast I want to plug called Screw It. We're just going to talk about the Beatles. I'm just a fan, but if you are- You listen to this podcast and it's-

I've never listened to it. I've heard good things from some friends of mine who are discerning. But you describe yourself as a fan. I'm a fan. I'm a fan of the idea. Great. Yep. Yeah, sounds like a good idea.

I think so. People can get it at wherever podcasts are. No idea. All right. And Ian Vanchuri, do you want to plug anything? Just be good to people. That's a good advice. That's a great plug. Absolutely. Especially seeing the the havoc that Mr. Hammer has wreaked over the city, it's a time for for people to be nice to each other. Exactly. Yeah. And you know And watch out for Mr. Hammer because he might try to recruit you. Yeah, that's a good point. I feel like on Kyle Mooney's behalf,

I should plug Y2K, which is out this Friday. What a nice guy. Yeah, I'm sorry he had to leave. Yeah, you would have loved him. You would have liked him. I couldn't say whether I would like him or not, but I would have been interested to meet him. Yeah, do you ever watch that SNL show?

He calls it the show. What do you think about that? First of all, that sounds very weird. I've not seen it. I have heard of some people talk about this as a show. You haven't seen it? No, sir. Again, I don't-

Coneheads? Is that, that's not an ice cream thing? No, no, no. Although, it's not a bad idea. Just like people who are obsessed with ice cream not an ice cream thing? No, no, no. Although- Just like people who are obsessed with ice cream. With ice cream cones? It's not a bad idea. I like it.

Open an ice cream store called Coneheads. I'm doing it. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, anyway, Y2K out this Friday. And what do I wanna plug? I wanna plug, hey, again,

get your voting in for the best ofs. That is at cbbworld.com slash plugs. And I really want to plug, coming up in just about 10 days or so, we have the biggest live Comedy Bang Bang live show that we have ever done and perhaps will ever do. It's coming up on December 13th here in Los Angeles at the United Theater on Broadway.

We have Hey Randy opening for us. That's with Randy Snuts and of course, the duplicitous Carissa and Stu and all of the gang are gonna be there. And then a big, super huge comedy bang bang show that we're doing right before the holidays. You can get your tickets for it at cbbworld.com slash tour. This is the last show that we're gonna be doing for a long while so

I hope to see you out there and you know while you're out there check out all of our merch at CBBworld. There's a lot of good stuff there so go head on over to CBBworld just poke around there. Alright let's close up the old plug bag. Hey. Hello. How you doing? My name is Scotty D. Scotty D. Scotty D. You know why they call me that? You can take a guess. It's because of my dick. All right. And that's it. That should do it right there. Open the black bag, open the black bag, open the black bag, open the black bag.

All right, that was Scotty's D by Sid Ficious. Thank you so much to Sid Ficious. And guys, I wanna thank you so much. Bags McGee. My pleasure. Hope, do you wanna die or do you? I would love to. Really, is it? Yeah. Living has or do you? I would love to. Really, is it? Yeah.

Living has become weird-some? Yes, I hunger for death. Yeah. But we'll see how it goes. Has anyone ever like shot you in the head? Yeah. And? Doesn't hurt. Feels good? Feels great.

All right. All right, I was gonna say I could've shot you in the head, but I guess that's not gonna do it. I appreciate that offer. Yeah, no problem. That's so nice of you. And Ian Venturi, good luck to you with your idea. I don't believe I have, I'm a little cash poor right now.

I don't believe I can invest, but you understand. Besides the fact that you, when I brought up the subject, you didn't even know really who your money person was. I believe his name is Daniel. Daniel? And do you have his contact? Or it was Calvin, it's Calvin. Oh, it's Calvin, okay.

See, this is, it's feeling dicey. Sorry, Daniel works, he's our driver. What do you need a driver for at a restaurant? To get from place to place, sir. Okay. All right, I'm not gonna quibble with your business model. Thanks so much for being here and please come back again. I'd love to hear about it because I'm so far removed

from all of the drama surrounding Mr. Hammer out there on the streets. Oh yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, hopefully if I were to ever come back, I'd come back bringing good news and he's passed away. He's passed away. I would say apprehended by the, I'm not rooting for his death necessarily.

Death is a release we would hope. That would be a compassion. People want to die. You want him to die? People want to die. He wants to die. I want to die. But Mr. Hammer obviously doesn't want to die. He doesn't think he wants to die.

I'm sure once the sweet embrace of death grabs him, I think he'll be good for the community. Okay, all right. We'll see you next time. Thanks, bye. Bye. Thanks, bye!