Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Moshe Kasher, Carl Tart, Vic Michaelis

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

Comedian and author Moshe Kasher joins Scott to talk about his new book “Subculture Vulture”, consulting on CODA, and being stranded at Burning Man. Then, The Pine-Sol Lady stops by to talk about how she got involved with Pine-Sol. Plus, Tinselina the Green Fairy drops by to bring Scott’s child a gift.

me and you P and poo it's time to ruin the family stew welcome to comedy bang bang Come on, eat, bang, bang, come on, eat, bang, bang. Me and you, Pee and Pooh, it's time to ruin the family stew. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Piss Pants Magoo for that catchphrase submission. God, they get worse and worse with each passing year. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. This is a podcast.

Oh, this is the podcast. It used to be the podcast where we talked to interesting people. Too many podcasts started doing that, the people got too interesting. We had to move on, it's now Humanities Podcast, parentheses and the animal kingdoms. We may move on to plant life at some point,

but welcome to it, my name is Scott Ackerman, I am the host and we have a great show coming up, a little lady, a little lady. That's right, we do have a little lady. We have a commercial spokesperson coming up a little later. We also have a magical being. That's very exciting. So we're really running the gamut here of guests,

but hey, look, stars are back. The strike is over and stars are back. Yes, during the strike, we had a lot of authors and this happens to be an author. We had a lot of comedians touting their specials. He's a comedian, he has specials. But look, he is a star nonetheless. He had a TV show.

Yeah. Should I go? Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah. How many apps? I would call it a six run app on what is now the Comedy Central. Six app call it a six run app on what is now the Comedy Central. Six app run.

A six app run on what is now the Comedy Central app. That's right. I saw it on Comedy Central proper, I believe. No, it was on Comedy Central. But is Comedy Central more than an app at this point? I don't know what it is at this point. It's a brand. I'm here to take it down a notch.

That's right. He's here to take it down at least one notch. Should have given me that seventh app. You really wanted seven and they just said, no, we're going to leave it at six, which is a more traditional order. You were upset. I said my vision for a talk show is seven episodes and they wouldn't even allow that. He also wrapped in that show. I saw him wrap with that was a colossal mistake. Let me just, I can say that. I remember the first step, it was you and another white person rapping. What was MC Search?

Yeah, which is, which is all right from third base. It would, the idea of the bit was, wouldn't it be funny to do a rap about cultural appropriation by two white rappers? Yes. So it was supposed to be tongue in cheek, but it was not read as tongue in cheek. No, I didn't read it that way.

It was read as like, we are cool. I read it as tongue-in-cheek. No, I didn't read it that way. It was read as like, we are cool. I read it as tongue firmly out of cheek going, pfft, to anyone who... So you liked the bit, Scott, or did you? No, I actually did love it. I still remember it. There we go.

And it was years and years ago. Well, MC Search is a legend. He is. He's a cultural appropriation legend. He boasted during the rap, I remember, saying he gets a pass, a hood pass, I believe, for having produced Illmatic, is that right? He did, in fact, produce Illmatic, yes.

Exactly to produce, though. I mean, they say he discovered. What does that mean? He discovered. I've exactly to produced TV shows that never showed up to. You tell me, what does it mean? Never spent a day on set.

Please welcome, oh, by the way, he has a book, he is an author, please welcome Moshe Kasher. Hello. Hello. It's a pleasure to be back I really should have said the title of your book that I was so far down the road into saying your name I just aborted and just my name is the kind of name that inspires that kind of anxiety in people It's how people having to say it. I can understand it. Did I did I nail it by the way because I can nailed it I know I know I did I would know each other for a long time I know and I've had to say it many times yeah, but then you get you get into these Feelings where you're like have I been mispronouncing his name the entire time? No, I've been saying it right

No, I'm gonna be honest with you I had a book released last night a book event last night and my family was there and they said it wrong No, there were cousins and I knew their name. I'm so filled with anxiety about getting people I didn't write their names in the books when I signed it. They're all deaf. They will not hear this right and so I'm so filled with anxiety about getting people. I didn't write their names in the books when I signed it. They're all deaf. They will not hear this. And so I feel comfortable saying it. Although we'll get a transcript out to them if they want to. No, please don't.

But I didn't write their names in the book because I was afraid maybe I'd write my own cousin's name. We have to do away with names. I've said this repeatedly. People should be, like you should be able to identify someone by just their physical characteristics. And should those change, then the person's quote unquote name would change as well.

That sounds so cruel. Like hello, 10 pounds heavier. Oh no, they would call me Big Dick Moche, but I get what you're saying. Oh, okay, I see. Yeah, I brought it there guys. I brought it there. You did.

And we have known each other a long time, but I've seen no evidence of that. I know've been that we've been dished plays together. That's right In fact Scott I was thinking about this because part of the book it's called subculture of culture a memoir and six scenes And it's like a history and a memoir of the six kind of universes that created who I am and those Universes are a I got sober and I was 15 Hasidic Judaism my dad like became born again after my parents split and I spent six weeks a year cosplaying as Teviah the milkman. Deafness and sign language interpreting, my whole family's deaf.

I was a sign language interpreter for 15 years. Raves, I was a rave promoter, rave DJ and sober ecstasy dealer in the early 90s in San Francisco. Burning Man, I worked there for 15 years and last year was my 24th time there. And then, of course, stand-up comedy. The reason I'm able to write a book in the first place. And I was thinking a lot about my past as I wrote this book.

And as I was coming here, I was thinking in my early days of coming down to LA from San Francisco to do sets, I got a set on comedy bang bang knee comedy death rate. Comedy death rate, yes. And I remember I did a set and then you posted on a special thing about my set. And it wasn't even, I wouldn't even say it was.

Positive? It was positive enough. You can't imagine how exciting it was for me to read. It was like, he shows promise or something like that. And I was like, what was I doing posting reviews of my own show? You were, but you did. And I remember, and I remember being like really,

I remember being really touched and really excited about that. Well, I used to give you spots because I enjoyed everyone from your sort of scene up there in San Francisco who come down here. Yeah, who was it? It was Brent, right? Brent Weinbach and Ally Wong was in that milieu. As well as Shang, right?

Shang Wang, Louis Katz, that was. Right, yes, yes. So anytime you guys would come down, I would have you on because I liked what you guys were doing. It was like a tonight show spot. Not sure why I'm posting about it, but. Those were the days. Hopefully I did show you support

and I've known you for a long time. And I found all of the things that you do very interesting. We talked a lot about the deaf subculture when we were developing something back that's right with Marley Matlin. I remember that. And you were the first person I heard the term CODA from. And then when the movie came out called CODA, I was like, I wonder what motion thinks about this? I've never asked you. I I sort of small sea consulted on Koda

because I was writing on Little America and Sean Heder who won the best director, I think she won it. Anyway, she directed it and she- Or at least the film one. There's certainly one best picture. Which means if she produced it, she won the award. Yeah, and she pulled me into her office and was like, this is my thing.

And I saw some of the early audition tapes and stuff because that's like one of the big giveaways in hearing people playing Koda or Def or just a signer period is you can always tell. I mean, you can always tell when somebody's not a native or fluent signer. Okay. So I just watched Echo. I don't know if you've seen it. And I have opinions on who was good at it and who was bad at it. Who was good at signing. Yes. Yeah.

And I'll talk to you afterwards because I don't want to blow up their spot. But I definitely thought the cast was split in twain of people who were really, really good at it and people who were just kind of had learned it like five minutes before. I will watch one of those movies and with my eye totally and completely on their signing. You can always tell when someone's finished. I mean, always. Well, it's like comedians watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Like, you know too much about it and you're suddenly in your head about it. No, yeah. Chelsea Pretty used to describe watching stand up as like, remember the characters in the Matrix when they would unplug? They weren't

plugged in, but they could still read the code and kind of like see what was happening. That's how it is to watch stand up. Yeah, because you're like, oh, I see what you did there. I see the structure of that. Oh, three tags and one too many. That's very funny. Did I laugh? Of course not. But it is funny. So that's why I recognize it as funny. That's how I feel watching signers. But that's interesting that you small c consulted on on coda when we say the small c, of course, we don't mean the big C in coda. Because all of cancer. yeah. Right. No, no, no. That's not what it's about. I got cancer for Kota. And that's how it won best picture I made a deal with the devil.

But that's cool. I didn't know you worked on that. That was great. I was, I was, you know, when it came out, I was like, disappointed that something in this world would come out before because our thing, you know, ended up not happening, right, for various reasons. But I was like, Oh, man, they said there was a toxic executive producer somewhere towards the top who didn't show up to set. Wouldn't stop posting about the experience.

Reviews of a pit. I went on to a special thing that day after we pitched that first one and it was you. The pit showed promise. This guy still don't know about him. Known in 15 years. Yes. So that was always very interesting. I've been to your wedding and saw a lot of your family there., so that was always very interesting. I've been to your wedding and saw a lot of your family there, and so that's always a really interesting part of it. And then the Burning Man part of it is also very interesting. So you even went to Burning Man this year, which is the year everyone got stranded, right? Let me say this about getting stranded. Okay, so about that concept of

being stranded. You can always tell when a person isn't really stranded and they don't really know. The fluency is lacking. No. You watch stranded films like 127 hours. Listen, my parents were stranded. I'm a stranded guy, so I know it when I actually consulted on stranded. Oh, really? Interesting.

The reality show is stranded. So I was up there and the rains began and this was 24 times in 23 in a row, 24 times total that I've been there. And it was, I would say the response that I was noticing online was like God level Schadenfreude. It was like the entire world was having a Schadenfreude orgasm simultaneously. Because everyone kind of conceptually hates burning man. And they don't quite know how to angle the hate.

It's like the Grateful Dead or Fish or whatever. You know you hate it, you just don't know why. And you are right. No, no, no, you are right. But I do always say when people hate on Burning Man, I go, oh, that sucks. You've been and you didn't enjoy it. They never say yes.

So I remember, first of all, I remember reading the headline, President Biden has been briefed on the rain situation at Burning Man. I didn't see that. And I was like, okay, I remember reading the headline, President Biden has been briefed on the rain situation at Burning Man. I didn't see that. And I was like, okay, I'm in a fake news situation because we were like, everybody was fine. Yes, Diplo and Chris Rock hiked through the mud to the freeway.

That did occur, but it was not. That is the Burning Man equivalent of getting picked up in a limo. Yes. Like two famous people going, fuck this, I'm out of here and hitchhiking. And then getting on a private jet in Reno to go make their gig in Washington, D.C. But I remember there was one comment.

A lot of people were very happy that we were suffering. And there was this one comment this woman put on my Instagram. It was like, it's really comforting or it brings me joy to see pain coming to rich people, cosplaying as poor people. And I thought, good slam, that's funny, but it's wrong. Burning Man? What is the demographic of the people there? Well, the-

Because they all look like muddy weirdos. Well, that's what I'm saying. It wasn't, Burning Man people are not rich people, cosplaying as poor people. They are weak people cosplaying as survivalists. And so for us, nothing could have been better than a mild amount of flooding and rain to prove to ourselves that 25 years

of fake survival skills actually had some use. People were having the most fun I have ever seen this year in over 10 years because really it made the experience travel back in time. I went for the first time to Burning Man in 1996. I was 16 years old, it was fucking dangerous. People died, people got run over, there were drive-by shooting ranges,

people were setting buildings on fire on the road. Wait, drive-by shooting ranges where you practice your drive-by shooting? Yes. Yes, straight up. You want me to, you want me to- So you get in a car, you hold your gun out the window sideways. No, yes

You're doing a bit but that's that is it. That is what it was It's it was a you want the quick history of burning man in five minutes. Sure you I can do in five Oh, I want in maybe 90 seconds. Oh 90 is gonna be hard. I can try okay, okay? LSD they invented LSD Timothy leery etc. Got it Timothy leery etc. Hippies hippies civil rights movement in the Vietnam War sprung out in a bunch of ways One way that it sprung out was the Ken Keezy and the Mary pranksters those guys got into a bus They started driving dropping acid traveling around the country looking for weird shit that experiment led to a group called the suicide club in San Francisco said oh we want weird shit, but we're gonna create that weird shit instead of look for it randomly

We're going to climb to the top of the Golden Gate Bridge or we're going to have high tea up there. We're going to infiltrate the American Nazi party. We're going to do all these weird things, but it's just for us. It's a secret society. I'm worried about the 90 seconds at this point. I'm so close. I'm so close. That sprung up another organization called the Cacophony Society who said, we want to do the same thing,

but we want to give it to the public. We don't just want to keep it to ourselves. We want to do these kinds of experiments for other people. So you'd be like, you know, Sanacon, they invented Sanacon. You build billboard liberation when you see a billboard that's been like adjusted and has like a subversive message on it. They invented that that that was their thing. At the same time, this guy Larry Harvey, he started lighting a statue of a man on fire on Baker Beach and said, let's just go. I am aware that I am over my time, sir. And I will grant you 30 more seconds. Okay.

And he's, he's burning this thing on the beach. He did it one year. It was 300 people the next year, 900 people the next year, 2000 people. The police shut it down and said, you can't burn it here, but the Cacophony society was there because it sounded like a Cacophony side at a good time. They said, we know a place where you can do anything. There are no rules. You can get away with murder.

It's called the Black Rock Desert. Take your statue. Let's drive to the Black Rock Desert and let's create a festival. That's how Burning Man was. All right, I'm reclaiming my time. OK, so you're the chair. You are. It's your podcast. That makes sense. Yeah, sure. I'm sitting in a chair. Yes. OK, so that's great.

So now, now 24 years later, or this is more than 24, you just went to your first one 24 years. That's right. Yeah. Uh, it has become a, uh, uh, uh, just a, the epicenter of all kinds of weirdos going on, doing drugs and like taking off their shirts and showing their big beards. And yeah, no, that's it. What do you do out there? I can add to that description. What do you do because you're sober? I show my big beard. That's what I do.

Do you grow one for the, yeah, it's big too. Wasn't there a year that it was dangerous because your wife, I thought was complaining about it one year. I would not say it needs to be dangerous for my wife to complain about it, but I don't know if I ever put Natasha into any peril. Natasha Ligiero, your comedian, is your wife. That's true.

And listen, I made a tactical error. I got her to come. Oh, first of all. Oh, she went to, I cannot imagine it. It was already an ill fit. Yes, I will give you that. But then she got pregnant. At Burning Man?

No, she was pregnant. And I made an incredible tactical error. It was like, why don't you just come pregnant? And she did. And that was the end of that experiment. She will not be rejoining us up there. Wow, that would be great if she got pregnant at Burning Man, that would be the coolest baby. I mean, yeah, but I think Natasha would not be.

Her thing is she doesn't want to die in a Costco or a trailer park, and I don't think she wants to get pregnant at Burning Man. Yeah, I can't see her having sex in a tent or whatever. I don't, Scott, please. Are you glamping at Burning Man? What's your situation of? In the 15 years since you posted that review,

I've been able to upgrade from a tent. Well, I don't know who sleeps in what there. Are there cabins? It's a barrel. It's a big mushroom. I have my own little RV that I bring. Oh, it's an RV. Oh, okay, very good. But I started at a tent, cooking dinty more chili

over a sterno stove and dumping a gallon of water on my head. And then I upgraded to a tent, and then I upgraded to a trailer, and then I upgraded to my own RV. So I've gone. But you're still doing the chili and you're still dumping water on your head, right?

Absolutely, I do that in LA. Sure, why not? LA's a chili town. I think we can all agree. So you have the Burning Man, you have the deaf community, you have sober, which is also very interesting. You've been sober now for how many years? Too many, I would say.

Really? You're thinking of reversing? Something I'm thinking of leaving, it's just embarrassing. When I was young, and I got sober and I was 15, and when I was young and I'd be 20, I would tell people I've been sober five years and be like well, that's so weird fucking cool Oh, and I would it is pretty fucking cool. But yeah, I'm not 20 now. It's decades. It's been 29 years Oh, and I'm like I'm embarrassed by and people always say this they go What were you doing and I know what they want me to say they want me to say heroin right, but I wasn't I was doing like kid

Drugs, you know? Like acid and malt liquor and blunts and things like that. This sounds terrible. No, it was wonderful. It was wonderful. St. Ide's, yes, the patron saint of cirrhosis. Do you admit, and this is possibly out of bounds in my questioning, and you can certainly refuse to answer this, but do you still go to meetings?

Did you ever go to meetings? I refused to answer it. No, actually the book is about, the AA portion of the book is about this thing that has been so meaningful in my life and that truly without question is the only reason that I'm either alive or a success or have a successful family as well. I have this great thing that this snatched from the jaws of death. I have friends that I grew up with that are not in that situation. A lot of people are dead, a lot of people are in prison. I know what I was like. Which do you think you would have been? I think I would have honestly I could have died very easily. I remember once

there was a girl that pulled a shotgun on me in Oakland and I ran toward her. The ire that she would dare pull a shotgun on me I ran toward her and she thank God like disappeared into her house and closed it. I was in situations like that constantly. Dicey stuff, yes. I think the most likely outcome is that I would be alive and a gigantic, like a gigantic fucking loser.

I think that's the point. Yeah, I can see that more than dead or in prison. You see that in me, you see the ghost of a loser. I say, it was half and half, although, you know, I remember quite a few years back, I wrote online about you that you showed promise. Well, you didn't, you say I showed promise, but not a gigantic loser, just a small one. So we've covered that.

I left. That's what I was going to say. Hey, hey, that slowly, at about 30 years old, I started to have like a very slow boiling crisis of faith of what I was doing there. And it was a journey out from being a member. I don't think I would consider myself a member anymore, but I look fondly at it as a beautiful and important time. And everyone's experience is different. And some people have never gone and are keeping it up. And, you know, it's whatever fits for you.

So we have the deaf community. We have Burning Man. We have... Raves. Raves, yes. Tell me about Raves. Raves, yes. Tell me about Raves. Raves, you were a sober ecstasy dealer. I was, the first time I went to a party,

I was eight months sober, because I was 15. And I go, like, I don't want to do recovery bowling with my 20s. So like, I'm good. Like I need a life. And I found out I bought a ticket to a rave. I just went by myself and I was like a little wannabe gangster. And I was just, I remember I was in line.

I had a, for the party, I stuffed a bottle of escape by Calvin Klein into a sock just in case I had to like Off an attacker that was my mind when I went in I'm like Tony Montana and I got into this party pronounce it Montana It is Montana, isn't it? I was Montana, but hey, that's the 49er is Montana The gangster is Montana. Am I wrong? I it very well could be I You know, I think the layperson would say Montana There is a Joe Montana as well. Okay. No, it's Tony Montana. I'm Tony Montana Oh, I think maybe he says it that way, but I don't know that we're a lot. Oh, I should oh You're saying it's like kind of a micro aggression that I okay

I don't know. I'm gonna be honest with you until the moment of this conversation. I thought that was his name. And you probably have never said it out loud. I've never reexamined it. And now that I am reexamined it in real time. I don't even know that Al Pacino should have been saying it that way. It was his 70.

I don't know if he should have been cast, but. I had a Scarface poster in my room. Really? And that was my guy. I was like, someday. It wouldn't surprise me if you still had one. When Natasha lives with me. I know, let's clarify.

Is she in charge of all the decor like my wife is? Absolutely. I am not allowed anything other than this room. I'm allowed to have whatever I want. My job in the interior decorating scheme is I'm like the chief masculinity officer. I will walk in and go like, perhaps, like. We could butch it up a little.

Yeah, just perhaps a pink chaise lounge. Maybe no. That's my only job. So then the two I'm forgetting are stand up and... Stand up? I think we've done that. Yeah, we, yeah. And Hasidic Judaism and the history of the Jews. Hasidic Judaism, that's right.

Your brother who performed the ceremony at your wedding is an actual... A real-time rabbi. Yeah. He's a rabbi. And my father was... When my mother left my father, like basically was born again as a Hasidic Jew. He married into an extremist Did you see unorthodox on Netflix? I did not okay. It's about is that okay? Or is that an insult to your people? Let's say it's not insult. I would say it's it's bigotry

Okay, but I guess that's okay on this podcast That sect in that show is are the sotmores and that was the sect that my father was born into So I was a secular kid Oakland public schools like regular regular full California boy six weeks a year I would fly home and my dad would bring me basically to the old country put a costume on me I'm not joking like a yamaka. He would get me a haircut that would like sort of Accentuate yeah, I had like a California bull cut and they would just shave it down a little bit. So there was a little fluff here. And then he would bring me and I to a Yiddish, the kids in my neighborhood in all my summer vacation spoke Yiddish as a first language.

We used to play dodgeball where it was the ultra orthodox kids versus the actual religious kids. Like we were the we were the the the non-religious people compared to that. People saying, oh, I eat when they get hit. Yeah. No, straight up. Like I have cousins for real who have Eastern European accents who were born in America and their parents were born in America and their parents don't have Eastern European accents. Their parents were first generation, so the immigrants were like, go fit in. Then they fit in, they were feeling themselves, they were comfortable, so then they sent their kids

to seminars where they only spoke Yiddish, so my uncle sounds like a New Yorker, and my cousin will sound like an extra from Dr. Javago. And you did say Javago, right? I was a little worried about that one after the Montana debacle. The Montana debacle. Montana debacle, not a bad title.

I think we've done it. Well, you're a fascinating guy. This sounds like a great book. Subculture Vulture, a memoir in six scenes. Is it six chapters or is it? I would call them mega chapters. They're not there. It's each it's a six part book and each of them is a history,

a comedic history of that world that literally starts at the beginning and tells the whole story of that universe. But in it with jokes. And then at a certain point I enter that history and it becomes about my time in that world, how it shaped me, who I am as a result of it. And then in the end, it's like, what are these worlds that don't belong together? How do they fit beyond just in my body? Like, how do they fit to create kind of the person that I am? And then in a way, not to get too sincere, because I know since I love it. No sincerity on this podcast. That's what I aim for. I've noticed that over the year.

That's what we want. But I realized at the end of it that it was actually like, it was a testimony and a letter in a way to my daughter about these lives that I've lived so that she can understand me someday. And so she can understand what life used to be like when existence was kind of a pinball game where it wasn't the internet delivering culture to you but it was actually you would stumble in if you you know if you stumbled on to like Tolkien and like goth music then you'd be doing a bloodletting ceremony in a field if you stumbled on a skateboarding and be smoking a blunt under an overpass and, you know, listening to punk and hip hop, like,

it used to feel like an accident, a life, and now it feels maybe more of a path. And this is, this is the pinball game that was me. And it's like my offering to her. Well, I love it. I've said this to John Hodgman. I read his book, and I just felt like I got to know him so well. And I wished I had a book that I wrote that I could give to him so he would know me but I didn't. I guess I could read the comedy bank bank book without being wasted time. A special thing for him. Yeah, sure. You can really get to know him.

For some reason, posting on a fan website. But I can't wait to read. Oh wait, am I mentioned in this book? I think the UCB is mentioned. And within that framework, I feel like they're in there. I feel like they're in there. Of course, they know what you're talking about. Okay, great.

They know I mean you. Great, I'm gonna read this. Subculture, Vulture, a memoir in six scenes by Moshe Kasher, it is out now. And is it on the bestseller list? Do we know yet or are you getting that info tomorrow? It came out two days ago, so I do not know. You're getting the info tomorrow, I would imagine. But we've been reviewed well,

the New York Times gave us a good review, the Chronicles of my hometown paper, the San Francisco Chronicle, good review. Everything is looking, I'm happy. Fantastic, I cannot wait to read it. We're gonna take a break. Moshe, can you stick around because we have, look, we have a commercial spokesperson,

we have a magical being. This sounds like a really good show. You're asking Tony Montana if he can stick around? Yes, I can stick around. Fantastic. We're gonna take a break. When we come back, we will have more from Moshe Kasher. More Comedy Bang Bang will be right back after this. Yeah.

Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Moshe Kasher is here. Subculture vulture. That's hard to say. It's too hard to say. Subculture vulture? You didn't even say it. Okay, hard to say. Subculture vulture? Yeah, you didn't even say it. Okay, you know what, Scott, you're right, and I don't like...

That was a low moment for me. Not just on this podcast, but in my life. Just in life? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put that in the next book. It is too hard to say. I think you should title it something else. Maybe in the paperback edition. It's too late, I feel. Just change it, maybe? Subculture vulture.

It's not easy, is it? You don't like the title is what you're saying? No, I should just change it maybe subculture vulture. It's no, it's not easy. Is it you don't like the title is what you're saying? No, I like the title. I like reading it. I don't like saying it subculture vulture subculture vulture subculture vulture. Although saying culture club. That's fun. Yes.

And we've said it all our lives. That was no problem. That was on the list. We're always talking about it culture club culture club. But subculture vulture is, it's a tongue twister, but I'm okay with it. You know what? The book is a mind twister.

What? Yeah, okay, I cannot wait to read this. We need to get to our next guests. Let's see, she is a commercial spokesperson. Moshe, you ever watch commercials on the old boob tube? I love the boob tube. That's my generation is boobin'. Yeah. And sometimes commercials are just impossible to escape. We have the Superbowl coming up here in just, I believe, six calendar days. Have you ever tossed the old pigskin around?

Is this, the Superbowl is in six days? I believe it is, yeah. I'm out of touch. I feel like I should know that. Six calendar days from when this is released. to toss the old pig skin around? Is this, the Super Bowl is in six days? I believe it is, yeah. I'm out of touch. I feel like I should be on that. Six calendar days from when this is released. Yeah, oh, you're gonna time the release to be six calendar days.

I always, I talk in the frame of mind is the day that this comes out. So six calendar days. I'm sorry, I didn't answer your question. Yes, I've tossed around the old pig skin. Thank you. This is all I wanna know. And you sit here going like, oh, is the Super Bowl really in six calendar days? I wanna know if tossed around the old pig skin. Thank you. This is all I want to know. And you sit here going like, Oh,

is this a super ball? Really? Six? I want to know if you tossed the pig skin around the seventh subculture that I was going to include and was asked not to by the NFL was my time as a linebacker for the dolphins. That's right. They didn't want me involved. They didn't want me to be you were in the D line or was it? Yeah, I was in that was on D day. We came into Normandy. I remember when we put brought the the old pig skin into Normandy Yeah, yeah, what a day. Yeah, that was it. The Germans didn't know what to do with it. No, they hate pork. That's like their thing

They were terrified. They're like vampires, but for a ham-hawk. Well, we Undoubtedly our next guest is it's obviously the star of many commercials, but maybe has a Super Bowl one coming up But let's talk to her. Please welcome the Pinesol lady. Oh, Scott, what died in here? I have a lot of shows. I'll tell you that much, a lot of podcasts. If I tell you one thing, you can smell it. Really? I'm so sorry.

I mean, you're the expert in this field. What do we do with this? I know bad smells and I know how to get rid of them. What is the best tactic for getting rid of bad smells? I'll tell you what it is. One cap full of pine salt can fill up 14 buckets of water. Do you have to add the water? Yes.

You have to have the water already. And then you put the pine salt into the water. That's the power of pine salt, baby. Do you have to? Let me ask you this. Say you have 14 buckets full of water. Yes. And you have one the power of pine salt, baby. Do you have to, let me ask you this. Say you have 14 buckets full of water. Yes. And you have one cap full of pine salt.

Do you have to disseminate it into all 14? Disseminate. What a good word. Thank you so much. That is the power of grammar. And this is the power of pine salt. You take the 14 buckets, you take one cap full per bucket. A one cap full, okay. You didn't say that.

You said one cap full and then 14 buckets. I got confused. I thought, I thought, what a bargain. Yeah. One cap full of pine salt for 14 buckets. You're saying 14 cap fulls for 14 buckets. Yes. Can I ask then, why do I need 14 buckets of water?

Right. Why not do it one at a time? Why not just do one? Just say like one cap full gets you, put it into a bucket. You can clean anything. I'm just telling you what you can get, in one bottle of pinesole. But that's the power. Wait, there's only 14 capfals in one bottle of pinesole?

No, silly, but there's more. But there's more. There's more what? More buckets? Silly, you gooses. You... I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a goose. Welcome to the show, it's so nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too, Scott. Sorry about the odor. It's monstrous. What do you smell? Shit, piss. Pine salt lady, I did not expect you to work booze. I've never heard you say that in commercials, so it's a bit of a shock.

Well, that's for the Christian television. Shit, piss, cum, everything else. Everything else, all mixed together. And you can get that smell right out of here with one cap full of pine salt in one bucket of water. Oh you've adjusted your math a little bit. You geese. 14 buckets is all you need.

I don't own 14, but I only own one. Lysol only does five buckets. Okay, I don't need five either. Well, you only have one bucket Scott Maybe I don't even know where it would be, but you seem like a bucket kind of good for two buckets I'm not a bucket guy. I'm gonna assume there was way more buckets in this home You're very rich Scott. I can tell you know what's on Scott's bucket list. What is that 13 more bucket? So pintle lady you you're in so many commercials. We, of course, you're so famous. Since 1992.

1992. That's about six years after the first burning man from what I told. Six years after the first burning man. How do you know that, Scott? I'm a great guy. I'm a great guy. It was April of 1992.

I just got done rioting and I had an audition. Rioting in the Rodney King riots? Yes. You were in the Rodney King riot? Yes. You were in the Rodney King riot? Absolutely. Which side were you on? The side of the police. You were rioting for the LAPD?

Okay, I'm glad I asked that question. Cause one would assume when you hear your part of the riots. You drop one cap full of fine soul on a group of rioters. They will disperse immediately. Disperse immediately. That's the power of pine salt, baby. I saved millions of businesses across the city. Small businesses.

Oh, you were at the Korean American Chamber of Commerce? Yes, I was on top of a Korean grocery store shooting. Did not expect this pine salt, lady. So, but I did say you can come into the store if you buy a bottle of Pine Soda. Extra strength, not 40% more. So that's all in the past. Now you, 1992, what happened after you were part of the riots? Ah, yes.

So 1992 was the riots. And then in 1994, OJ killed his wife. I was at the truck. Allegedly, allegedly. Although, you know, he's on this show. He is? This is the first time hearing of this. killed his wife. I was allegedly allegedly although we you know he's on this show I that's the the is this is the first time hearing of this how weird that you a different guest would be the first to break this news. Oh he's absolutely guilty. Mark Furman is a good friend of mine. Oh dear.

I'm curious about something with OJ related. If he is guilty, what do you think he used to clean up the old crime scene? I'm so glad you asked Mojica to. This is one cap full of pine song. One cap full in a bucket of water. Clean up a full crime scene? Let's say you have slashed your wife from tip to toe. Oh man. There's going to be so much blood, especially if there's another person. Perhaps our boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah.

Bring her glasses. Probably some sunglasses lying on the ground. Yes. What you need. One cap full of pines salt and one bucket of water. Sure. Preferably a blue bucket, or blue lives matter. A thin blue bucket.

A thin blue bucket. I would think that would maybe be a two bucket situation, but I don't know. Maybe I should get another bucket just in case something like that happens to me. You should get 13 more buckets. Okay. Cause that's how much you can use. I think you should get 13 more buckets. That's how much you can use,

but there's more in the bottle. There's 40% more now, extra straight pints off. That's the power, baby. So after that happens, then I'm trying to figure out your story. How did you get involved in pints all? I, well, I told you, I did the first commercial in 1992.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, right after the rights. That's what I was getting. I had an audition that same day. So I climbed down from the Korean grocery store, went to my audition at 200 South, that's 200 South Lebray for you non-industry cans. I've been there many times, forgotten my headshots several times where I'm like,

Oh, I left a bit home. Oh, you have to keep them in your trunk. They give you a stern look. A very stern look. You have to keep them in your drawer. They give you a stern look. A very stern look. You have to keep your paper headshot to your drawer. I mean, you did back then, but like now isn't it all fine? When was your first commercial audition, Scott? I have to say probably 1996.

1996. I used to like flexing and be like, yeah, you don't need to bring your headshot to an audition, but then not getting the job. They don't even, it doesn't matter, and then you wouldn't get it. So. I remember I used to make fun of all the actors

who would like dress up in doctors costumes and all this kind of stuff. And then I saw them in every commercial. I was like, eww, maybe you should have done that a little bit more. Invested in Hollywood props and costumes. I dressed as a doctor at my first Pinesaw commercial audition.

Did you really? Yes. Was it calling for a doctor? No, okay But it gave you a sense of authority. Yes. I walked in said everybody pulled on your pants. I'm gonna fill your balls Caut to the right. Okay. This sounds like a weird audition. I don't even know if it's an audition That's how I got the job, baby. Mmm. That's what's in a hotel room or this was in a hotel room at 200 It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a tall bill. It's a hotel room at 200 South. Up top. Up top. Up above the lamps plus.

Right. Listen. This is, look, this is very specific industry talk for some people. And I haven't been to an audition in 20 years, so surprising I know all this. Exactly. That's the power of Pines. Oh, that is the power of Pines. It helps your memory.

Yeah, interesting. I just believe in the product so much. How many commercials have you done then over the years of pines. It helps your memory. Yeah interesting. I just believe in the product so much How many commercials have you done then over the years? 432 that's so many mm-hmm Wow, you must be I mean, I don't even want to speculate on your wealth Oh, I'm rolling it really. Yes. I'm rolling in it Wow I have a room in my house like Scrooge McDuck Just a swimming pool filled with gold coin. Yes, it hurts every time I dive in They don't show that in the Scrooge McDuck. Really? Just a swimming pool filled with gold coins? Yes, it hurts every time I dive in. They don't show that in the Scrooge McDuck with him going,

Ow! I bonk my head. I'm curious, would you hurt yourself on the room of coins? What do you use to clean the wounds? I'm so glad you asked Moshe Cashier. Did you know that pine salt has vitamins in it? It has vitamins. Which ones? The main ones like D and vitamin C. E, C. Did you know that pine salt has vitamins in it? It has vital. We're going to switch ones.

The main ones like the main ones vitamin D, C, C. Sure. Those are the B. B. Yeah. B12. What do they go up to vitamins? That's a good great.

They go up to F. I've never seen a vitamin F. If it feels like they should start inventing new vitamins, right? Like you hear about A through through E and then nothing. You know what we would take to to beat Pistests in rehab and teenage rehab. We would take niacin Oh, you would hop a bunch of niacin and then it would purge your system And we would drink vinegar and I once drank an entire quart bottle of vinegar and I immediately vomited for 12 hours

I started immediately and I kept vomiting for 12 hours and guess what that I passed baby you passed really and that Power pine saw So much worse What was your name you're not flow right flow No, I'm the bison lady silly you goose. Do you have a name the bison lady? Oh, okay? I'm sorry From progressive insurance yeah flow, you know I asked the answer. With Flow from Progressive Insurance? Yeah, Flow, you know.

So different. Very different from me. Do you know her, Flow? I do know her. You see her around? When I see her, I like to eat her in the knees with a Billy Clough. I hear that Flow, the name Flow,

was based on her menstrual cycle. You heard that? Yeah. That was supposed to be an industry secret. We're letting go of all of the industry secrets today. So do you, I have to ask motion. Do you have a Super Bowl commercial coming up? I do.

Incredible. We're six calendar days away. Yes. Can you sneak it here? Can you spoil it a little bit? What's happening? I can only tell you a little bit about it. I can tell you this.

It'll be seven minutes long. Wow. That sounds too long for a Super Bowl commercial. You're going to love this guy. Are the players, what are they doing? Are they like, at least on the exercise bikes, trying to stay warm? What happens during the seven minutes?

We're going to do a live commercial. I'm going to take one of the players and I'm going to cure his CTE by giving him Pine's help. Just a capful? A capful. And I'm going to put a bucket on his head. Which player has the worst CTE out there right now? Out there right now?

Because you should pick that one, right? I'm not at liberty to say. Oh, OK. Liberty, liberty. Liberty okay Liberty Liberty Liberty those people I do know them the emu legal emu I know the emu yeah I know duck I go duck I know the guy called duck the cake the worst what about the guy co caveman aka Nick Kroll do you know Nick Kroll I know Nick Kroll that guy's great is there a bar you guys all hang out in? Yes, it's called residuals.

Oh, okay. I've been there. You know what Nick Kroll's done in Hollywood that like is probably the most impressive thing? What's that? Blurred the book, Subculture Vulture. Oh my God, is he on the back there? You guys.

Who else is back? I'm trying to read it from far away. Nick Kroll, Dax Shepard, The Chainsmokers, Nathan Englander, Nile DeMarco and John Mulaney. Let me do one right now. Okay, yeah, do a blurb for the book. You know, there comes a time when you need to read. Sure, it happens to all of us.

And when you need to, I'm doing my blurbs, guys. Okay, I'm sorry, do you not want interjections during the blurb? No, we're not, you can do your own blurb. Okay. You know, there comes a time where everyone needs to read. And what you do is you take a book, you put it in a bucket, with one cap full of pine saw, you can read that whole book from cover to cover.

And this was an easily pine soluble book, 10 stars. You goose. Wow. Out of how many though? Out of 14. Out of 14, okay. So it's pretty good. Not bad.

Not bad. Still an A, still an A. So it's pretty good. Not bad. Not bad. It's Dylan A. Dylan A. So an incredible live commercial coming up. What else is going on in the Pine Soliverse? You know, in the Flowiverse, a lot of, she's getting a lot of her friends on, you know, it's like suddenly the Progressiverse, the Flowiverse is just expanding.

I'm having my friends come on as well. Really? Who else? Who else? Who's coming on? Mark Furman from The OJ. I've seen the hide nor hair of him in quite a few decades. He'll be back. He'll be right back in the Pine Solivars. Jopini Ramsey's parents. They'll be on.

Okay, sure. Taj Mowry. Damarino. Okay, okay. Yeah, sure, why not? Of your Miami Dolphins. Yes, that's right. You played D-Day for them.

And you were his doctor, I remember. You cured his CTE. Yes, I went to him, I said, pull down your pants. I'm gonna fill your balls cough to the right and take this capful of pine salt. Every time you say that, I feel like you're saying, I'm gonna fill your balls. I do, I hear that as well.

I'm gonna fill your balls with pine salt. Every time you say that, I feel like you're saying, I'm going to fill your balls. I do, if you're that as well. I'm like, what? I'm going to fill your balls with pine salt. Yep. Well, this is incredible, Pine Salt Lady. I mean, what an accomplishment. And then there's so much more yet to come. Do you see the end of the road for you? Not at all.

I will live forever. Oh, you're immortal? Immortal. Wow. That's the power of Pine Salt, most people. Really? How much do you take every day? One cat full. One cap full.

Would I be immortal if I also took one cap full? Absolutely. I'm recommending everybody to take one cap full of Pine Saw. Every listener of this show. I don't know whether I can co-sign that officially, but please officially, Scott. All right. Officially, yes. Take one cap full of Pine Saw, every listener. One a day, you say?

One a day. Plus vitamins A through F. A through F and P. Okay. And vitamin. and then vitamin pine. Oh Yeah, and then P. How do you drink it or yes? You put on your tongue. He let it dissolve. I Thought it was already liquid. It's still dissolves. Oh You I'm sorry to be a goose. Well, this is fantastic pine soul lady. We need to take a break. Can you stick around? Absolutely, I've got nowhere to go. Really? What's going on with you?

Well, there's no rioting going on. That's the only time you get out of that with other than public appearances? Other than that, I'm just in my coin room. All right, well, let's take a break. When we come back, we'll have more from Moshe Kasscher. We'll have more from the Pine Soul Lady. When we come back, we have a magical being.

This is very exciting. I wonder if they grant wishes or, I mean, the mind is reeling. I'm already thinking of things that I wanna wish for. So I hope you guys do the same. When we come back, we'll have more Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. ["Memoir in Six Scenes"]

Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Moshe Kasscher is here. The book is called Subculture Vulture, a memoir in six scenes. You nailed it, you goose. Hell yeah. And out now, and very well could be on the New York Bestseller list, we don't know.

We just don't know. Usually they'll let you know on Friday, so if you don't get a call tomorrow. Yeah, well, I mean, this is Monday when this comes out. You don't want to think about it? No, you know what? It's a hard category. This is the thing. I worked so hard on this book for so long that I got to a state of zen.

I don't, I mean, I wanted to do well, but I did everything. I just feel, right now I'm feeling like, like as, as enlightened as the Pine Saw lady. Yeah. And you did, people don't do it for the money. I'm sure you got in advance, but that's all gone. I did it for the love of the game. That's right. You have to do books for the love of the game. Otherwise, there's really no reason to do them

other than that. I love writing books though. I really like the process. Have you written a book before? I have, this is my second book. What was your first? It's called, Cashor and the Rye. The true tale of a white boy from Oakland

who became a drug addict, criminal, mental patient. Wait, hold on. And then, 2016. This is two books on the same subject. Wait, wait, hold on. And then true 16. This is two books on the same subject. No, Scott, it's not. And I'm glad you asked, even though that wasn't in the form of a question. This is cheating. No.

Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I put it in a question. This is cheating. No, Scott, you goose. I'm glad you asked. Something like that. Am I doing it right?

Absolutely. You're a good Pines Hall lady, by the way, is here. Hello, Pines Hall lady. I'm here. I should say. Do you agree with me, Pines Hall lady? This sounds like he's just written the same book twice. I'll tell you this.

I read both books while I was in the band. Oh, really? She's good. Oh, yeah, you just took a bath during the break. I took a bath here at Scott's house. And I read both books over the break. Really? Yes.

Do they overlap? They don't overlap, in my opinion. They don't overlap in any way, Scott. This book begins literally on December 25th 1994 the date you like dates. I love dates the day that I get sober the last book ends the moment the moment before and So it ends on December 23 1994. Well actually the day before the 25th would not be December 23rd I thought they use it December 24 December 25 December 25th, Christmas Day, 1994. Oh yeah, the big JC, his birthday.

Yeah, okay. I did it in honor of him. So really, the first book ends on Christmas Eve? More or less. Are you like John Hausman? You're writing like just, he's got like three or four biographies. Just write fucking one.

Well, why write one when you can write two? I mean, that's like saying to you. Well, because I don't wanna pay to it. This is the fucking, you don't have to buy This is the fucking into the spider verse in book form. You don't have to buy either of the books. Into the spider verse and they're like, you're enjoying it and then halfway through or at the end of the movie, they're like,

oh, by the way, you don't get to know the end. Have you not heard of a squeak wool? Okay, that is a good point. Thank you. So this is like a squeak wool? It's a squeak wool. Okay. It's cash or in the rye, the squeak wool. Okay, do you a good point. Thank you. So this is like a squeakle? It's a squeakle. Okay. It's cash or in the rye, the squeakle. Okay, do you have a third book in you? Do you think? Or is not enough going to happen? No, I don't

think I have a third memoir. I can tell you that. Really? I'm done. I'm definitely out on that. But I do. I would like to write another book. What's your third book going to be about? I know that this is obnoxious to say. Well, what this book is, is comedic history. And I got really You're gonna do the future. I really, I really enjoyed the process of writing comedic histories. And so I think in the future, I would like to

write more comedy histories like, you know, Sarah Val and Bill Bryson and stuff. Oh, yeah. Right about me. Oh, yeah. The history of Scott. Right. I'll tell you what, write my memoir, ghost write it. I'll give you 10% of the the fee. That's awesome What do you think you what's your what's your quote?

You're gonna be disappointed All right, and then a pint all lady. Yes, you mentioned the spider-verse. Yes, the real story of Peter Parker No, the real Peter Parker. No, yeah, he was hiking in the woods and he came along a pine tree Oh, wow and a brown recluse spider bit him. And now he shoots roads of come from his wrist. Wait, that's the power of pine saw, baby. Why? What does pine saw have? It was just a pine tree. Well, it was a pine tree. And that's, uh, yeah, the spider had been drinking the saw from the tree. Okay. Oh, so pine saw comes, it's just saw from a tree. It's all from a pine tree. I did not know that. I know that it's just guys talking on a podcast.

Maybe I shouldn't say this, but do you think like Spider-Man when he shoots the webs out of his wrist, he ever is like, do you mind if I shoot this in your mouth? Oh, I'm sure. Because the real Peter Bartlett, as I said, shoots ropes of gum. He's like, do you mind if you swallow this web of mine? I'm sure he says that all the time.

All right, interesting. Is that how you say it for come? Would you mind swallowing this come-on mind? This discussion has been settled long, long ago. What? Would you mind swallowing this come-on mind? We're stopping the locker room talk part of the podcast. We have to bring on our magical being.

This is exciting because it's the first time they've been on the show. And Moshe, you've been on the show before. I have. Pine saw lady, this is your first time. Yes, and I'm happy to be here. It smells terrible in here. Just, you know, sprinkle some pine saw around if you can. I don't know if it's because of the magical being,

we'll find out, but please welcome for the first time, Tinsalina the Green Fairy. Oh! Oh my god. Wow, hello Scott, friends, how are you? You just like floated down out of the sky. That is incredible. That's what I did.

Wow, wow, it's so lovely to be here. It's wonderful to have you. Well, I'm so glad you weren't here to hear the preamble before you got here about, we were talking about Spider-Man and a bunch of gross things. Sounds like not worth rehashing right now. Probably not. Probably not.

Can I just say something? Yeah, please. It smells delightful. Wow. Here suddenly. Oh, thank you. Thank you a thousand times. Is that yours or have you put some pinesol around here?

Not me. I haven't started doing it yet. Oh, are you lazy? Why, I said go ahead. Am I lazy? I said go ahead and do the pinesol. You don't tell me what to do, this guy, you don't tell a woman

to get up and clean your house? Well, Tinsalina, it's great to meet you. You're a green fairy. Yes, and I've come for the child. Oh, come for the child. Your child, Scott, you had a child recently. Is that incorrect? I mean, not recently,

depending on how you view time. I mean, I guess if you're talking about like, the dinosaurs, you know, or this, it's a little more recent than that, but... I've come to bestow a gift upon the child. I know I'm a little late, I'm so sorry. Oh, okay, a gift, oh, that's great. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Forgive me. When you said you were a magical being and you're a green fairy and you said, I've come for the child, I thought you meant you wanted to take my child away. No, if you wanna give a gift to the child, yeah, that's perfect. Forgive you, I won't, but a gift I will give.

All right, Scott, are you ready? It's a deal. So here's what I'll say is, I come from a dynasty of gift-giving fairies. That's sort of what we do, it's sort of our thing. So my sister's the pink and the blue fairy. They take sort of the big, broad gifts. And for me, I like to get a little more specific. Okay. By the way, are they colored pink and blue and your colored green? Or what's the

delineation between? Well, as you can see, my dress is green. And so that's sort of my color with triplets. That's sort of how our parents divvied it up. So my sister was in pink and my other sister was in blue. And so I'm in green. Okay. It's a great color on you, although you are a bit of a summer with your coloring. What do you mean by that, Scott? Your coloring is, you're not in autumn,

which I would see more as a green, but so I don't, you know. So you sort of saw my face and said, this is what I think you should be wearing. Yeah, you know, I mean. As I'm about to give a gift to your child. Oh, please. I don't mean to distract you about the gift. I have a child too, and I think you should be wearing. Yeah, you know, I mean. As I'm about to give a gift to your child. Oh, please, I don't mean to distract you about the gift. I have a child too, and I think you look great as is. Oh, thank you so much.

Yeah, no worries. Well, let's see if we got a little extra gift rattling around for your child. Hi, lady, you have a child? I have 14 children. Really? Yes. Bucket one, bucket two.

Through bucket 14. Wonderful. Let's see what gifts I got rattling around here. Okay, Scott, I thought long and hard about this. And this is the gift that I landed on. Are you ready? I'm ready. The gift on which I bestow your child

is that they shall sleep for four days a year, twice a year, but they'll never know when, so they get to stay awake for the rest of the year. Hey, hold on, hold on. This is a lot of math. That is the gift on which I bestow your child your welcome. So wait, sleeping four days a year straight? 24 hours a day?

Your child will only have to sleep four days a year, twice a year consecutively, and then they have the rest of the time to be free and do activities and frolic, and do art and painting and literature. I mean, honestly, that's the kind of gift I would like for myself, but here's the problem that I see. I'm gonna have to be asleep.

And if my child is not sleeping, there's no one to watch her, which means then, I'm just, the mind is reeling at the possibilities. It means then my wife and I are gonna have to alternate sleeping. We're never gonna be able to sleep at the same time. It's not that I don't like the gift because I think it's cool.

Well, I have a few other gifts, I guess I could. Yeah, I mean, this one is maybe not the greatest fit for our lifestyle. Our lifestyle is we like to sleep at night. Oh, weird. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. So, okay, I guess I'll go through another gift.

We're not out rioting. Scott doesn't like the gift. Time for a new gift. All right. Okay, oh, oh, this is a'll go through another gift. We're not outriding. Scott doesn't like the gift, time for a new gift. All right. Okay, oh, oh, this is a fan favorite, are you ready? Oh, okay, yeah. By gift I bestow upon your daughter is, she will always be able to tell

if there's a root vegetable under her bed. Wow. That's a good one. If there's a root vegetable under her mattress, she'll always be able to tell. That's pretty cool. Does it have to be under the mattress or maybe like she's been eating a potato or something? I think I specified it has to be under the mattress.

Did I not just say that? No, the first time you said it, you said just under the bed, which could mean like a crumb that falls under the bed. I see. You know what? We'll widen it out. Sure. What do we think?

What do you think of the gift, Scott? I think it could come in handy. It's pretty powerful. Wow, that's, yeah. I mean, it's like the Princess in the P kind of situation, you know. Yeah, except anyone could feel a rutabaga underneath a mattress. Like that would hurt. I don't know if you get a nice, wait, who's sponsoring us now?

Lisa, what do we got? Oh, I'm not saying any, I'm not going to mention any brands because- Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Rudy's rutabagas. Oh, okay, yeah. Well, for 15% off. Well, a conflict of interest I'm seeing perhaps. All brands because comedy bang bang is brought to you by Rudy's Ruda Vegas. Oh, okay Yeah, well a conflict of interest I'm seeing perhaps. All right. That's no matter. I have more gifts Yeah, I don't know more gifts down the list. No, by the way, we were just saying it sounded cool So I don't know why you've moved on does not want to like this. Well, no, no If it's a conflict of interest we'll move on. Okay. How about this gift?

She'll see pretty well as long as she has a light prescription for glasses She'll be near sighted. So she'll see pretty well as long as she's got a tiny little pair of glasses Well, she'll have glasses. I mean that with everything that you as a parent you worry about like oh my god Or you know can they develop something that horrible thing could exactly you know You know, maybe a sharp stick in the eye or something like that. This actually sounds pretty like it's hedging a bet. Oh, you're saying it will avoid severe blindness. Sure.

Is that right? Or are you just saying she will be near sight? So here's the thing. I give the gift in the moment and then what the universe does with that gift is what the universe does with that gift. How about this? How about I just lay out five gifts and you can pick your gift? OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.

How about that? Can I get in on this action or just offer Scott? We'll let people pick what gifts they want for their children. Oh, wait, so this is sort of like a white elephant kind of thing where we need to pick them and then... Well, it started out as if it was going to get you. ...someone steal them away? You seemed a little ungrateful, so I'm opening it up to the crew. I'm not ungrateful. I really appreciate this.

These are great gifts. You're afflicting his child with nearsightedness. Do you do this with all babies, by the way, or is it just me? Me? There's a list. Can I be honest with you? My sisters get the good babies. I'm not saying your baby's not a good baby, but I got the podcasts. You got the podcasts, NEPO podcast babies?

Oh, they do film in TV. They do. They can buy, okay. The pink sister does TV. The blue sister does film. I sort of do podcasts in social media. What if it's a couple who's a TV star and a movie star who have gotten together?

I'm trying to think of an example. Well, they get two gifts. Oh, okay. I gotta say, I think podcasting is like the new media. Like in terms of media, like podcasting is so powerful. It's actually better than movies and TV, right? It's better, it's more powerful. More hours of quality content, I agree.

Well, the thing is there's no gatekeepers anymore. You make the content it's more powerful. It's more quality content, I agree. Well, the thing is there's no gatekeepers anymore. Oh, yeah. You make the content as you see it. We are the gatekeepers. Sure, the awards aren't there, like, you know, what do you get? Webbies for whatever it is we do. Streams. Streams.

I've maybe thrown away two webbies. Same, you and me both. But anyway, okay, so lay out these gifts. Okay, here we go. Are you ready? I am ready. Here we go. Okay. No need lay out these gifts. Okay, here we go. Are you ready? I am ready. Here we go. Okay.

No need to ask if I'm ready, by the way. I am constantly ready. Okay, me too. Here we go. I'm ready. You're ready? We're ready. Okay, I am ready.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Just give me, honestly, just one second. Just save your time. Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. Here we go. Okay. Whenever you sing, by the way, like you float a little bit.

That is cool. Can we do that? Oh, is that one of the gifts? Do you need to sing in order to float? Well, that's sort of my gift. And so if I gave that away, then I'd be giving away the gift. Wait, who gave that to you?

Who gave that one to you? Oh, we can't talk about her. Can I tell you what my gift is? Please. The gift of memoir. Wow. Two, to be exact. That's right.

They're not on top of each other. They're separate. Sure. Are we ready? exact. That's right. They're not on top of each other, they're separate. Sure, are we ready? Here we go. Okay, the gift of which I shall bestow to your child is, you only need to use a GPS if it's a place they haven't been before or haven't spent much time. I like that one.

I like that one, yeah. Cause I'm always like, how do you get to that place? Right, but you'll just know. Unless it's a place you haven't been before, I haven't spent much time. Okay, I like this. Okay, ready? Brown hair.

Do we need to pick, like when one comes up, do we need to buzz in or anything? Well, how about we go through them and then we can divvy them up? How about that brown hair? Brown hair. I think I already have that. Okay, next.

Oh, okay, you can tell how much change is in someone's pocket. Jewish, already got that. Okay. Okay, ready? Oh, here we go. Here we go. Your child shall have such good taste in TV shows that she recommends TV shows to her friends and they say, okay, we'll watch, but then they forget about it.

And six months later, they go, I watched this really great TV show and she goes, that's the one I was recommending to you earlier. This is pretty good. I mean, you know, she's got friends. That's good. So many friends. You know what I mean? She's not a recluse or an outsider.

So just so I clarified, the gift is that she's able to suggest things. She just has great taste. Such good taste in TV shows and is ahead of the curve. I got it. Always watches them when they come out. She kind of knows what's up. Yeah, yeah. Although it sounds like she doesn't have a job.

She has so much time to watch TV. And her friends don't really respect her. They're like, yeah, okay. I don't know, I'm not sure about this one. Okay, so she watched the commercials? Does she watch the commercials? Well, if she doesn't have a job, she probably has the Hulu version that's unsupported.

Are we ready? Here we go. Can fly, but only when no one in the world is thinking about her. Man, that would be depressing to when no one in the world is thinking about her. Oh, man, that would be depressing to know no one's thinking about you. Because you can start flying. You'd be flying and all of a sudden you'd be like, oh my God, you'd know someone was thinking about you, but then you would die.

Yeah, do they just crash to the ground when someone thinks about you? Only one way to find out. This is no good. Because I think you'd be depressed in one hand because you're like, oh, I'm able to fly great No one cares about me. Oh somebody does care, but I'm dead, but I'm dead. Yeah, this is no good Okay, last gift. Are you ready? Okay? We got one really good and cool name for improv teams Oh good at creating the cool. Yes

And everybody goes and then you drop the name like plat earth and everyone's like, oh that is cool What was the one you said? Plad earth? What are the best names for improv teams? Scooby-Doo, Flat Earth, Picture Frame, Window. Oh, those are good. Wait, is that one name? Scooby-Doo, Flat Earth, Picture Frame, Window. Got my favorite group. I play a card game called Scooby-Doo, Flat Earth, Picture Frame, Window. Oh, okay. It's actually a weird coincidence that truth is. Everyone gets one card. Yeah.

I'm on a team called 14 buckets. It hurt you really. I didn't know you did improv. I do. Who's on the team with you? It's just you and... Me? Mark Furman.

Okay. And a bucket. I got a set. A Jomaday's parents. That's all. I saw the set you did when Jason Menzuk did monologues and it was beautiful. Thank you so much.

Yes, we cleaned the stage. And Jason personally would around saying, yes, I support all of these people on stage. Okay, so let's list them. We have the flying, we have the improv. Scott, on my GIFs bad. Well, I'm being honest on my GIFs bad. I mean, they're not great, to be honest. I don't know that I want any of these. I mean, brown hair is cool, but I got it.

We already have it, yeah. But what if it's just like different brown? It's a slightly different shade of brown. It's a slightly different shade, and then you walk into a room and people go, oh, your hair, it looks different. It's like a really nice auburn with kind of tints of red in there.

It's really, I don't know that I want to change it, honestly. The truth is brown hair is like, I have brown hair, but it's the most common color of hair in the world. Yeah. It's not like you're unusual. That's why I thought people, but so I come up with these little inside baseball here. I come up with all the gifts myself. You don't say. Yeah. And so it's one of those things where I spend a lot of time thinking about that. And I thought brown hair is the most common hair color, so nobody's going to be mad. I think I know what one of those things where I spent a lot of time thinking about that and I thought brown hair is the most common hair colors Nobody's gonna be mad. I think I know what one of the gifts of your sisters is tell me the gift of being able to come up with good gifts Yeah, yeah You weren't burdened with that. Yeah, unfortunately. I don't know the improv something. Yeah, I went to school to be a dentist

really like that like that elf in I went to school to be a dentist. Really? Like that elf in the Root Off the Red Nose reindeer or whatever? Yeah, or like my favorite movie, Afterlife with Ricky Gervais. Two very similar movies. I love the IP on both of those. I went to dentist school and nobody took me seriously. I wanted to be a dentist for serious people, like adults that didn't finance. Why wouldn't they take you seriously?

Because look at me. Look at how I dress, look at my little wings. My perfect little coiffed hair. Yeah, your butt knows. My stunningly beautiful voice. You're floating again. I know, and nobody could take it seriously. And so now I'm stuck giving these shitty gifts.

Hey, you know what? I'll take the brown hair. Do you mean it? Yeah, I think it's a good gift. No, you don you mean it? Yeah, I think it's a good gift. No, you don't have to. No, I think it's a beautiful gift. Honestly, I think brown hair is really nice. No, I'll take it.

And I want to thank you for bestowing it upon my daughter who already had brown hair. Yeah. Is that cool, Griska? Yeah, that's fine. I guess I'll take the improv thing, although I don't want her hanging around improv. Especially the teachers.

I only get paid if people accept gifts, so I really appreciate it. What were the other ones? I don't mean for you to remember all these shitty gifts that you've already thought of. Vegetable under the bed, GPS. I'll take that one. Really?

You'll take the GPS? Oh, do you mean it? Do you mean it, Pine Star Lady? I do, I'll take the vegetable under the bed. Oh, I'll take the GPS then. Okay, thank you. That's actually not bad. That's pretty, actually you're right, that's the bed. I'll take the GPS That's pretty actually you're right. That's the bed. Well, I mean a brown hair I think is really cool But but being able to not need GPS generally if that's a pretty good gift

Well, sometimes I'll know exactly where I'm going I flick on the GPS just to see what the ETA is, you know what I mean? I do that as well I do that as well. Let me ask you something. Please. Do do you want to give better gifts me? Mm-hmm. I mean, I'd like to try I don't think anybody wants to be Please. Do you want to give better gifts? Me? Mm-hmm. I mean, I'd like to try. I don't think anybody wants to be bad at what they want to hear.

What they're doing in life? Drink some of this. What is this? Take a capful. If I had to guess, it's probably pine salt. That seems so like out of left field, Scott. There's no way that it's pine salt. Is it pine salt?

Is it actually pine salt or are you? After she drinks it, I'll take it. You may as well drink it. What's the spend? Can anything hurt you by the way? I drank it already All right, I got a little secret for you that was extra straight pine so extra strength percent more Do you have CTE anymore? Yeah? I'm thinking much clearer. Okay. This is a star cognitive tinselina. I don't know if you knew this I was on the you pen rugby team You pin the Quakers

Are you able to think of a gift? Yes, okay, what's what's the first just first thought best thought what's the first gift you can think of? Okay first gift I can think of? Um, um, uh, okay, first gift I can think of. Ready? Three, two, one. Microphone. A microphone. A microphone. Speaking louder. A loud voice. A very loud voice. For a tiny, tiny little baby.

You're usual suspecting it right now. You're looking at the microphone. The loudest voice on the tiny little baby. Close your eyes. Don't look at anything in the room. Okay. What's the first gift you can think of? Dark. So dark. Okay, no. I think, I think the at anything in the room. Okay. What's the first gift you can think of? Dark, so dark. Okay, no.

I think the Pines Hall has made it worse, Pines Hall lady. It does not feel like the healing elixir that you promised it was. That's the Pines Hall, baby. What? You're doing that's a bad thing? You're able to Kaiser Soul say everything. I don't know. I don't know.

I think you should go back to dentistry school. Did you ever become a DDS? Did I? Yes. I tried. I tried my best. Wait, did you try? Did you do it or not? Yes! I tried! You can't say yes. I tried. There is no try. Only do. That is the power of hindsight. I thought it was. That was beautiful. Listen, family obligation is hard, as you know. You have children. It's difficult. There's just things that you have to do. And my sisters already are busy with film and television.

There's sort of a renaissance happening in both of those, especially with the advent of streaming, so they needed somebody to take over. Although budgets are going down, and they're not picking a lot of pitches these days. Hello, we don't need to get into the business. Landscape is bad, and that's what I say. Podcasting is the future of me.

Sure, you can do anything. Or pine casting. It's where you take two capitals of bison and pour them in your ears. What happens? You get the power. The power of pines all? Yes, baby.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. What were we talking about, you and I? A wonderful. I don't know. I've been what were we talking about you and I? Wonderful question. What was the question? She's floating it look don't float away. Oh, I wouldn't I couldn't I can't go that far. That's my gift really flow But not that far. Oh, that's a great. Did you give yourself that gift? I just like flying waist level like a dragonfly. I can float a little bit, but not too far Oh, man Are you just like flying waist level like a dragonfly? I can float a little bit but not too far. Oh man.

So what are you saying? I could just come up with better gifts for myself and people? Or go back to dentistry. Yeah. Or neither. Yeah, or neither. What am I supposed to do then? Look, do you have generational wealth?

Do you have to do anything? I'm very rich. Well then just chill. That sounds cool. All right. I'll buy the house. How much, Scott? Wait, I'm not saying like you. I'll take it.

How much, Scott? No, no, no. This house is not for sale. Wait, how much do you have? Me? Yeah, how much do you want to spend? Six gifts. Oh, okay.

I don't want any gifts. I'm preaching gifts, Scott. Yeah. Oh, really? Then you need to go back to dentistry then. I have an offer on your house. Oh, really? What do you got?

I will give your daughter brown hair five times. So really, it'll be really brown. Five brown hair, Scott. It's gonna be like super brown. All right, we have a deal. Oh, amazing, I have a new house. Okay, Pines Out Lady, I thought of a gift for your children, the buckets. Yes. When they drink liquids,

they will not taste any kind of liquid. So it'll feel more like a solid in their mouth as opposed to a liquid. Wait a minute, wait, they can't taste the taste of the liquid or? Liquids will feel like solids. Liquids will feel like solids. You got a chew liquid.

Like when you're drinking a beer. It's like drinking a beer sickle? Yes. Wait, thick water. That's a great name for improv truth. Thick water. Oh my God, did you give him that gift? I snuck it in your pocket.

What can I say? Thank you. The thick with two feet? With two feet? With two feet? With two feet. I started lisping. Wait a minute, did you give me the gift of lisping? I did, I just thought it'd be funny.

I don't wanna lisp. Because then your daughter will feel confident and have a shift in a power type. But I have to do a podcast. I can't even say podcast. Say Pinecast. Pinecast is even worse. Say Subculture, Vulture.

Tony Montana. Okay, I can say that. Okay, all right even worse. Say subculture, Vulture. I mean, Tony Montana. Okay, I can say that. Okay, all right guys, look, we're running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on just so, and that is a little something called, I can't even say it. This is a little something called Plugs. I've got a new book, y'all got a TV show,

and this is when I'm allowed to let you know. Oh no. But gal got a TV show And this is when I'm allowed to let you know Oh no! Flug, flug, flug, flug, flug, flug, flug, flug in flug No, not that kind of flug, flug, flug, flug, flug, flug, flug in flug The only home we're feeling is in your imagination Your family is in your imagination Music Alright, that was never gonna give you plugs by Nickel Festival.

Thank you to Nickel Festival. And guys, what do we plug in most? Obviously, the subculture of... God, I'm fucking down it. I can't even say it. Subculture of Vulture, Memoir on 16. Available now. Any different way you want. audio book, in real book.

I'm also going around. Do you read the audio book or did you get someone else to do it? I read the audio book with the exception of two lines. Who did the two, or is that a surprise for WinP? It's a bit of a surprise. Oh, wow. Is it the last two lines or the first two lines? No, it's in the middle. It's in the middle?

Yeah. Did you get Barack Obama? No, listen, the story is, I don't want to tell the story. Okay, don't tell the story, but it's in the middle. It's in the middle? Yeah. Did you get Barack Obama? No. Listen, the story is I don't want to tell the story. OK, don't tell the story. It's in there. Oh, man, now I want to read it. Want me to tell you the story? I'll find it. Yeah, all right.

I'll find it. We'll tell the story. But I'm also doing stand-up. I'm on tour with the book. I'll be in DC. I'll be in San Francisco this weekend, but it's sold out, so you can't come. But February 6th, I will be in DC and New York

the next night on the 7th with the book and I'll be in Portland on the 16th and then I'm going to Chicago, Brooklyn and I'm in LA for the Netflix as a joke festival in May. Just go to MosheCaster.com. You can get all those tickets. Oh, I'm going to Madison and Tacoma too. Just go to MosheCaster.com.

All right, that sounds so good. Pine Thaw lady, what do you wanna plug? Ooh, I'm so glad you asked. First of all, I'd love to plug Pine-Saw. Go into your stores and it'll get your own house clean. Yep, any store you wanna go into? Like liquor stores? Down in Compton?

They do have, yes. They do. Korean owned liquor stores in South Central. They do have Pine-Saw. They're loyal. I'd also like to plug a nice acclamation show on Peacock call in the know. Oh, yeah, I have some cookies by the way Did you see those cookies? I did see those cookies. You want to take the one that sort of looks like you?

No, I want you to I want you to keep it you want me to eat that person's face. Yep. Eat his face. I Saved it for you for like a week now I have my hand raised. I forgot something very important to plug. Oh wait, a Pinesol lady, these are your plugs. Do you mind seeding one of your plugs over here to most of them? Take a plug! With the power of Pinesol? The power of Pinesol.

The power of Pinesol compels you, take a plug. I would be remiss not to mention my podcast that I co-host with my lovely wife, Natasha Ligero, the Endless Honeymoon podcast where we do relationship advice and we have people's deep dark secrets that they leave us and it's very funny and we would love for you to listen. All right. Wonderful. Steve's been on the throw before and Steve's plugged it.

All right. I have more. Pymethole, you're back. Yes. I also love this basketball podcast on Patreon called The Flagrant One. This is The Flagrant One? Yes. It's hosted by Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements and Carl Darnes.

Did they ever drop the act? I still don't know. And also, there is a new football podcast on the Head Gum Network called Fooseballs, hosted by Carl Tart, Greg Gullant, and Ryan Mahary. Wow. What do they talk about? Football. Just in time for football to not be around anymore. Just in time for football to not be around.

So, it's going to be a lot of dates for the whole off season. All right, Tynthalina the Green Fairy, what do you wanna plug? Okay, so here's the plan. Are you ready? Yeah. If you think I should go back into dentistry, leave a couple of teeth under your pillow,

I'll go and I'll collect them and that'll count as a vote towards going back to dentistry. And if you don't want me to do that, then I'll put a little a little hope and a wish in your child's pocket and that'll also be a little gift. Those are great plugs. Yeah it's a good plug I guess. Why not just put like a quarter or something in the pillow? Oh I thought of something else. What that? Dropout.tv you could watch that as well. Just watch anything on it? All of it. Start back from the beginning with the old college humor sketches

I'm gonna go all the way through the disco that kind of time. Oh, yeah, just watch something Pacific I'd like to plug to be okay, sir. Why not just to me. That's good sir. Are you feeling like you don't have enough time Scott? I'm gonna put a little gift in your pocket. Okay. I don't I really want to sleep. I like sleeping Well, I don't like to live Okay, yeah, you need to live. Donate, don't take back. Don't take back. Okay, yeah, you need to take back the lifting. I wish I could. Oh, God.

Okay, what do I want to plug? I want to plug, hey, comedy back, God damn. Now it's affecting other consonants. Did you open that little wish in your pocket to put it in there? I can't take comedy back back anymore. Wait, I'm doing it again. Maybe just put a tooth under a pillow tonight.

Oh my gosh. Okay, comedy back-back action figures are available now. The Scott Ackerman and JW Stillwater ones. You can order those now. We're releasing them two at a time. And JW Stillwater comes with a cloth cape. Go over to shop at no shop dot figure collections dot com

That's free shipping with us address and then if you're out of if you're in Europe go to action figure seller dot com And though they're really cool figures and I've seen the ones that we're doing in the future. They're really cool. So, and sales have been really good. So they might be running out of those. Also, you mentioned Netflix is a joke. I did.

We're gonna be there May 7th, I think, in LA. There's literally, I think only 20 tickets available. So head over to Netflix. What is it? Netflix is a joke. Yeah, they put you in a 20-seat theater. Yeah. Wow.

That's such a small intimate show. The Elephant Theater at the Broadwater. So tiny. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Here we go. Solo, solo, solo, solo, solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo solo All right, that was Little Baby Plugs by Must Be a Mistake. Thank you so much. And guys, I wanna thank you so much for the so, Mosa.

Yeah. So good to have you on. So good to be here. Can't wait to, wait, did you get it too? I'm just supporting you. Are you making fun of me? No, I'm supporting you. Fuck you. You know how people, no lisp on that, fuck you. When their kids I'm just supporting you. Are you making fun of me? No, I'm supporting you.

Fuck you. You know how people, No lisp on that, fuck you. When their friends get cancer, they'll shave their head too. Uh-huh. I'm doing that with you, in solidarity. Oh, okay, great.

Yeah, it was a pleasure. And everyone go out and read his book. And Pinefell Lady, so great to have you on. That's the power of Pinefell. Okay, you're making fun of me too now. I am, you goose. All right. And look, Tinsoline, I'm too now. I am, you goof. All right. And look, Tinseline, I'm begging you.

I can't do another solo like this. Please take it back. Okay, I'll take brown hair back from you so you don't even have to worry about that anymore. No, no, take the blitz back. Oh no, she's gone. Oh, fuck, all right. Well, I guess I have this forever now.

We'll see you next week on the 850th episode. Did I have to do this during it? Oh no, all right, we'll see you next week on the 850th episode. Did I have to do this during it? Oh no, alright, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next!

Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next!

Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next! Here's what's next!

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