Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Myq Kaplan, Greg Hess, Erin Keif
Episode Date: June 26, 2023Comedian Myq Kaplan joins Scott to talk about his new comedy special “Live From The Universe”, his new book “Heart Brain Art Train”, and getting into comedy via singing. Then, folk singer Glen... Plapinger stops by to play a few of his original songs. Plus, critic Candle St. Louis drops by to share some of her famous one-word reviews.
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Music Come and see my mind, come and see my mind.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I'm going to hell tonight and so are you.
Yuri.
Very ominous.
Thank you to Rock and Roll toast
for that catchphrase submission
and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang indeed.
This is an incredible show we have today.
My name is Scott Ockerman.
I'm the host of comedy bang bang.
And usually we have a panoply of guests
of all sorts of different stripes.
I don't know whether I'm using the word panoply correctly.
I, it just popped in my brain and I went for it.
I don't think I've ever said it out loud before.
But I'm sure that if I did not use it correctly,
the this week's corrections will come in a mere hour after the episode is released.
I always love getting all of the week's corrections from you wonderful listeners.
Let us know what we said wrong every single week.
Coming up a little later on the show, we have a folk singer.
Oh, very exciting. Love musicians.
We've had some of the great musicians on this show, Dan Mangin, of course, the rest.
We also have a critic coming up a little later.
We'll see who or what they criticize.
And before that, we have a returning to the show.
It's been, I didn't look up exactly when your last episode was, but I'm guessing around
seven years or so ago,
I'm gonna do it while a mere moments
after I introduce you.
He's a stand-up comedian.
He has a new special out called Live from the Universe,
which people can see on the Dry Bar comedy app,
and a book as well.
He's also an author with the book Heart Brain Art Train
coming out.
Please welcome back to the show, Mike Kaplan.
Hello, Mike.
Thank you so much for having me back.
Whenever it was, I hope that you don't get
a panoply of corrections in our later.
Ah, very good.
Always love being here.
Thank you for having me.
Oh my gosh, you were on a mere three years ago.
That's, I think it was pandemic.
Pandemic?
Yes.
It's all a wash to me in the pandemic.
Yeah, we were in different places.
It wasn't.
I don't count that as a bad thing.
It does not count.
But before then, 2011.
That was quite a stretch in between.
Absolutely.
As my yoga teacher once said to me,
Mike, wonderful to have you back.
Thank you.
He said to me that it was quite a stretch
in between your appearances on this show.
What?
I don't know why he's so interested in you.
Your yoga teacher is a fan of mine.
That is.
I have a fan of teaching me yoga.
He's sitting here talking about my stupid podcast.
Mike, welcome back to this show.
Great to see you.
Thank you, same.
That it's great for me to see you.
Is that what you're trying to say?
I think it wasn't what I was trying to say,
but it is what I understand I accomplished saying.
It's not about your intent.
It's about what actually happened, okay Mike?
Absolutely, yes.
Your laugh sounds fake.
Because anyone ever told you that all the time.
I mean, I, yes, at all.
Or at least that laughed it.
Yeah, it wasn't. I think it was, I'm not trying. I mean, I, yes. Or at least that left it. Yeah, it wasn't.
I think it was.
I'm not trying.
I mean, was it fake?
I don't think it was.
I think it might have been fake.
I don't, I think it wasn't totally fake.
Okay, but it was a mixture of fake to real.
I mean, I think it was like a half calf left.
I think a half calf left.
Wait, oh, see, there it is again.
There it is again.
Oh my God, you're still doing it!
This is my, I think this is my real laugh.
I don't know.
I'm really sorry to say, I think that here, maybe it's this.
I have recently, I may have undiagnosed asthma.
Oh.
My, my, my voice teacher, I took voice lessons in college.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Yes, me, me, me, me.
Oh, that's Yes, no, me, me, me, me, me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I mean my oh my voice teacher was the cooking spray a nice lady original model cooking spray the one thing about the
Just like the landalakes butter woman. Oh, she's so hot Pam on that Pam spray
Yeah, this this Pam I mean I think she's a nice looking lady, but I'm not we're just saying that about your your voice coach
Well, you were just say you started it. I don't know her you but you just a second ago
I feel like if I play back
with you, I would hate to be your voice coach
and sit there going, is he judging my appearance
the entire time?
I definitely wasn't.
I haven't thought this is the first time
I've ever mentioned my voice teachers.
I, when I'm taking voice, I like to look
between the eyes and the mouth.
We got eyes, nose, mouth.
Those are the old and maybe the years.
If I'm doing it again.
This, okay. So I, please don't.
That is a fake laugh.
That's a realistic sounding fake laugh.
I just did.
I'm not an actor.
So I'm here as myself with my real laugh
and just everyone's not what my,
so this voice teacher, Pam, I'm sorry that's her name,
but it is Pamela, does that help you?
Does it make it better?
Does it change it at all?
She told me when I was doing some, you know,
breathing exercises, she was like,
oh, it seems like you might have like activity-induced asthma.
And so I've, I've, I've,
hands up my ass.
What exactly is that?
Like if you're, you know, you engage in
some extensive physical activity.
And what were you doing that was extending?
I was singing.
Yeah, but you came to her to learn how?
Yes, that's correct.
So she gets you sick, diagnosis you, and then what?
Then I...
You sue her, right?
I don't engage in the activity for many years.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I just don't sing that last name.
But the asthma remains?
Every once in a while I have...
It's about teacher.
It comes up every once in a while.
What's her last name?
Do you want it? I think she's good.
I think she's probably retired now as well.
How is your singing voice?
So then have you used it?
I did actually get into comedy via singing.
Tell me the story.
I don't know this about you.
Wow.
I'm haphal.
I'll do an abridged version.
I'll do the verse for us.
I don't want to be in the abridged.
I'm like Jack Power.
Jesus Christ. There it is again. This is a
Nervic. Have I never laughed on the show before? I think so. Okay. Well, you've gotten funnier.
I appreciate it. I don't know that I agree with that. I've always had a good time. I think I peaked in 2011.
If we go a panoply of responses, like a super cut of my laugh previously on the show. I would like that. I would like a fan to do that.
2011, 2020.
What has the corrections for the for a while and give you a super cut of Mike's laugh?
Yes, so what it, oh yes. So here's how comedy has it.
I worry that when you raise your hands, you hit your fingers on the table.
I did do that.
Yes.
Are your fingers all right?
Yes. Two of them hurt a little bit, but I'm fine now.
Which two?
The pointer and middle finger on my left hand.
We need better names for these fingers.
Pointer and middle.
Pointer I get.
Yeah.
It's like, you, not a lot of people
are pointing with the other one.
That's true.
That narrows it down.
Do you like ring finger?
I mean, that's just a historical societal thing.
I know, but it has nothing to do with the finger.
You don't have rings on any finger as well.
I know, I don't like to play by society's rules.
So no, I don't like.
Do you like pinky? Pinky's pretty good. Pinky's the rings on any finger as well. I know, I don't like to play by society's rules. So no, I don't like. Do you like pinky?
Pinky's pretty good.
Pinky's the star of the show as far as I'm concerned.
Also, every finger is the same color.
So pinky really is not a good point.
It doesn't differentiate.
Plus it's kinda racial.
Yeah, absolutely.
People who do not have pink skin also.
We're doing away with it.
No more.
Even though it's the most well-known finger,
we're getting away.
How about just one, two, three, four, five?
Okay, but what's one? Thumb. Thumb is How about just one, two, three, four, five? Okay, but what's one?
Thumb.
Thumb is one?
Thumb, two, three, four, five.
Okay, there we go.
Thumb, two, three, four, five.
Do you know, actually, Thumb knows three, four, five.
Now, Thumb knows three, four, five.
We, a long time ago, we substituted two for nose.
So we have to keep that going.
I didn't know.
Also, I do think I remember maybe the very first time
I was on the show, perhaps it was 2011,
if that was not the first time.
That's the only other show.
I think the episode was the episode called Thumbs Yes.
It is indeed called Thumbs Yes.
My Kaplan, all thumbs, referring to these episodes only.
We should call this one Thumbs No.
Yeah!
Thumbs No, 3, 4, 5.
Yeah, is it No with NO or just can?
It's N-O, it's N-O, it's N-O, yeah.
So this is the sequel to Thumbs Yes. Thumbs No, Thumbs No, 3, four, five. Yeah, is it no with NO or just can? No, it's N-O-O. Yeah, so this is the sequel to Thumbs Yes.
Thumbs No, Thumbs No, three, four, five.
I love it.
You tell me to get it.
Okay, I'll really try.
I mean, I'll do my best.
Now, see, this is bad though.
I feel bad because I was always told one thing
that you should never tell a person is you have an ugly smile
because then it makes them never want to smile you.
I'm not saying that about you.
You have a beautiful smile.
Thank you very much.
Very good looking man.
And then also I hate your laugh.
Those are the two things you should remember
because then it saps all joy from people.
You know what I mean?
They get two in their head about that.
So I don't, I rescind it.
Your laugh sounds good.
Thank you very much.
I'm out of my head about it.
Okay.
So there I was four years old in New Jersey,
learning how to play the violin
per my parents' requirements.
Seems young. Yeah, that's the AG often play the violin per my parents' requirements. It seems young.
Yeah, that's the AG off and start the violin.
Don't you like sticking your like bow right in your eye?
You know, we had, I didn't start with a real violin and bow.
I think I did a real bow.
You did a drawing of them?
Some people use like a wooden stick,
just to learn how to hold it.
That seems even more dangerous.
That's fair.
A sharp wooden stick.
But instead of the violin, we did have a ruler for the neck
and it was taped to a box of frozen food empty.
This sounds still.
Who are these teachers that you're getting with?
They all sound like quacks.
I'll give you the first name of all the teachers.
The first teacher I had was Sally and then Margot
and then Catherine.
Was it Sally Rod?
That's not correct, no.
Yeah, that would have been amazing. Yeah, that would be great. We learned on a spaceship. Was it Sally Rod? That's not correct, no. Yeah, that'd have been amazing.
Yeah, that would be great.
We learned on a spaceship.
A spaceship?
Yeah.
Is that the right term?
I'm not a space scientist.
Is that the right term?
Oh yeah, it's not surgery.
I mean, you might have transferred to a spaceship
in the middle of the universe.
I have no idea.
I don't know what doesn't qualify.
Is a rocket ship not a spaceship?
You know that is a good question.
I don't know. I think qualify. Is a rocket ship not a spaceship? I know that is a good question. I don't know.
I think it's definitely in the spaceship family,
but a spaceship to me implies that it's from another planet.
Doesn't it?
To you?
I don't know.
Do we have, I mean, we have spacecraft possibly,
but a spaceship implies that it's from somewhere else.
I think.
So then to other planets, our rockets are spaceships.
Correct.
Thank you.
OK, so I think so. So you were going from our rockets are spaceships. Correct. Thank you.
So you were going from the perspective of an ET.
I think most people I think aren't from this planet.
So I try to think on their behalf.
There's 8 billion here, but many more elsewhere.
So for years old, you're just sawing away on this vegetable box.
And then they did give me a real violin, and it sounded sounded awful and it it felt awful and I didn't enjoy it and
I took all yeah I took lessons it was emotionally it didn't feel yeah you're
not sticking it up your at physically no I was not I wasn't in the movie
American pie the gender swapped version that was it was a flute but you know
the gender and instrument swapped version. Exactly. I think this would be popular.
American Pie, the gender and musical instrument swapped version.
Yeah, not a flute, but a bow.
So yeah, I played violin and didn't enjoy it, but in high school, I had started playing
the guitar.
I taught myself guitar very easily.
Now here I am trying to decide whether you could have cut the whole violin portion of this story.
But go ahead. Too late.
So I didn't like the violin. I loved the guitar. I started teaching myself music by my mom's piano books.
I was like, oh, I have my fingers here. I love doing it. Now I'm really deciding how much of this story is really necessary.
Every sentence you're saying right now, I'm judging it.
Okay, that, here it comes.
Okay.
We haven't gotten to the inciting incident.
I started writing songs and some of them were funny.
Then,
okay.
Then I went, I called, I found, I searched pre-Google,
comedy.
How did you search pre-Google?
Did you go town to town?
I think there were. There were. I think there were other non-agogle? Do you go town to town? I think there were I think there were other
Not you heard tell
I'll do you want me to just say that's funny because that's what I do sometimes but that usually means it's less funny
Um, Scott that was a good joke. So I'll do my best
Yeah, I so do my best.
Yeah, so I wrote funny songs, or some of that
were supposed to be funny.
And I went on to Hotbot, I believe.
What is Hotbot?
It was a search engine before Google.
Oh, really?
Yeah, okay.
And I think Yahoo was around pre-Google as well.
So I think.
Ask Jeeps?
I did ask Jeeps as well.
Speaking of wonderful mascots that were sexy as hell.
Ha.
How's that one?
I didn't like it.
I liked it even worse.
Yeah, I cut it off.
That's why I laugh naturally.
I'm sorry to get in your head.
Can't do it.
But yeah, so I went to the comedy studio.
What were you searching for?
Has anyone ever been funny on music?
No, no.
I was searching for places to just play my music legitimately.
So I was searching for like clubs.
I think I just probably just,
I always just, and one of the clubs that popped up,
like a lot of music venues,
but then one comedy club,
the comedy studio in Boston.
Interesting.
So you already have these songs that were kind of funny.
Some, yes.
Did you pitch yourself to them of like,
oh, I do songs that are funny.
I did, I said I play music,
but I have several songs that are funny,
and they said that they could give me five to seven minutes.
Wow.
Were they, I mean, I've always heard that it's tough to get stage time
at places was, was it the unique nature, unique New York,
unique New York, nature of your act or were they just giving
stage time to everybody?
I think they had just recently become a comedy club.
Oh, it's from what?
From nothing.
From a Chinese restaurant empty room.
It was in the third floor of a Chinese restaurant that had like a dance club late night on
the weekends.
So many floors in these Chinese restaurants.
This one had three.
This one had three.
This was the top.
Very top.
Tip top.
Same place that Eugene Merman began.
Is that so?
Yes, Eugene Merman was the, I think, the darling of the comedy studio when I began and Brendan Small.
They were the, they were like two of me.
It's a wonderful act, soon to be wonderful stars.
You, Eugene Merman, one of the Titans of comedy.
Absolutely.
Is that a tour?
Yeah, yeah, well, it's him, Anthony Jazzelnick,
Nathan Fielder, they're the Titans of comedy.
Do they tour?
No, they just came on the show together once.
But I branded them, thusly. Oh, wow? No, they just came on the show together once. Oh, I branded them
Oh, wow, that's real. It's very real. You could listen back. There's evidence of this the Titans of Compton. You're not making this up now No, no, I'm going to look up what episode that was absolutely in the meantime. So when I was five
I that was a time part of part of when I didn't like the violin and I'm just vamping for you
It's doing things that don't matter. You don't have to listen to. Yeah, of course. March 7, 2013. Ah! 10 years
ago, we just reached the 10th anniversary of the Titans of Comedy. Wow! Congratulations!
Yeah, incredible. They should come back on the show. If they want to and don't have to.
I would love to get them all together, but it's so hard to get the Titans together.
They're, as you can tell. They're so big. How can they get into such a small space?
But yet, so I called up and Rick Jenkins, the owner of the comedy studio.
Owner of the comedy studio, that's a funny song.
Yeah, it's a parody.
Yeah, so the studio is actually reopening later this year.
They moved.
Do you think they would use that?
I think they might.
Okay, could you send this to them?
I would be happy to.
How am I gonna get you an MP3? I mean, well, it's... Dropbox. Yeah, I do. We're recording a podcast.
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Just to listen. Just to listen. And maybe get a tape recorder and put it next to
the whatever he's listening to the podcast on. Yeah, I think that's the way to do it. That's probably
the way to do it. He does, he does enjoy when the comedy studio is mentioned in media. Oh, okay.
This counts. This is media. So, why were you talking about that, though. Oh, okay. This counts. This is media.
So why were you talking about that though?
Oh, because I called him.
Oh cool.
He was the one who I said,
can I come play some funny songs at your place?
And he said, sure, you can have five, seven minutes.
I love this impression of this guy.
Does he really sound like that?
Kind of like a Kermit, the frog-ish, you know,
I really.
He's like, you know, he should do a Kermit, the frog
because I think whoever's doing it now isn't quite hailing it.
I know what I mean.
I think he'd be great.
He'd be great.
Yeah, we should get him involved.
Jenkins the Frog.
Because I don't know that we need to change Kermit's name.
Oh, I don't want to lie to the people.
Oh, it's a good point.
Yeah, there are people, like they've come to expect a certain
level of Kermitness.
And, yeah, so I think it was, they eventually did have
an open mic, but at the time they didn't.
So he just gave me a spot on a Thursday.
A Thursday, right?
And you remember it was a Thursday?
Absolutely, because they only had Thursday, Friday,
I think they had Thursday to Sunday.
It might have been a Sunday.
It was either a Thursday or a Sunday.
I started on a Sunday myself.
Oh, wow.
Yes.
There is a program that exists that I could ask Rick later when I send him this.
Meaning, people got physical programs.
Physical programs.
Was it, did they have play bill at the time?
I don't think.
Hi.
Yeah.
Oh dear.
So that one was fake.
Your other one is real.
I mean, I, it one is real. I mean I
It was in volunteer. I'm not doing it on purpose
100% seems like you're a people please. I mean, is that a safe assessment of your personality? I want people to be happy. It's it's both. It's your love language. Thank you for asking definitely
I
Don't know what are they acts of services one
Being performed upon you?
Yeah, four, on behalf of.
On behalf of.
Okay, so people going out and doing charity work
in your name.
Yeah, I think that's right, yeah.
Loving words or words of affection,
I think that's what I like that one.
You like that one?
I like services well, not gifts, I don't need gifts.
You don't know, who needs gifts?
I've got enough stuff.
Exactly, we're all trying to
Throw away most of what we have. Oh, yeah. I mean
So here's here's I think an analogy that if I remember why I'm saying it will be good
Alan Watts the philosopher. Yes. I enjoy you said that as a question like do you know who that is?
Of course I know I guess the question is really is philosopher the word?
and like, do you know who that is? Of course I know who that is.
I guess the question is really,
is philosopher the word got to Google something?
Hahaha.
Is, I think philosopher is the word that I would use
if he's like, what is Alan Watts?
I mean, like a thinker, a spiritual speaker, you know?
So let's jeopardy question this.
Yeah.
He's a thinker and a spiritual thinker.
Who is Alan Watts?
Yeah, so he, I listened to one's talk about a Buddhist teacher say when somebody asked the Buddhist teacher.
Was he, was it, were you over hearing them or you eavesdropping?
I was listening on a map.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, Alan Watts was dead, long dead.
Long dead?
Yeah, I think, hey, rest in power, Alan Watts.
Absolutely, yeah, don't know when it happened, but it was before this past year or two.
We hope it was, we hope it was peaceful, we hope it was quick.
Yeah. We hope his family
was gathered around him and wishing him goodbye as he went off into whatever exists outside
of this plane of existence. Yeah, or getting redistributed within this plane of existence.
That's right. Yeah. Do you believe in reincarnations? I mean, that's a, I'll say this. I don't
know if I believe in it, but I think I may have in a past life.
That is a joke that I wrote,
and I don't wanna, I wanna be honest with you.
Yeah, I appreciate the transparency.
But the truth, here's the true answer to the question,
is that I would have said several years ago, no,
I do not believe in reincarnation.
However, I have recently been learning about Buddhism
from a Buddhist friend, a practicing Buddhist friend.
Okay.
And they say, like, rebirths are a part of sort of the...
But is everybody rebirthed?
Because the population keeps growing.
Oh, I believe there's infinite sentient beings,
an infinite number.
Yeah, that's how it works.
Okay, great.
Oh, that makes sense.
Yeah, so it makes sense.
And it goes back to beginningless time.
So since beginningless time,
we have been in every relationship
possible to one another.
You've been my mother, I've been your mother.
Yeah, exactly.
I love that.
I think we both made a good choice.
But it went together.
I like where we're at now.
Yeah.
I like to thought that I was your mother one.
This is a great one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How I met your mother.
Yeah.
How I auditioned.
How I was your mother.
There we go.
100%.
So you were listening to this guy, Mr. Watts, of course, on a nap. And he was quoting a Buddhist
teacher who, when asked, do you believe in God? The answer that the Buddhist teacher gave was,
if you do, I don't. And if you don't, I do. Interesting. That sounds like a boarded wedding vows,
but what exactly does that mean?
I think it means, I relate to it in this way,
that I would say that I used,
and I sometimes say this on stage,
but it is the truth, that I used to identify as an atheist,
and now I'm like, why do we have to talk about it?
Because I brought it up fine enough.
Like, I think that whenever I hear people,
like I used to be a hardcore atheist,
the kind that people, if atheists are like that, then I'd rather be religious. I'm like, I used to be a hardcore atheist, the kind that people, if atheists are like that,
then I'd rather be religious.
I'm like, I was like that.
I'm like a Bill Mar type.
I was a more Bill Mar-ish type.
Bill Mar?
Yeah, I was Bill Moore.
I think I might have been more than Bill Mar.
By the way, do you know Nick Vatterat, the comedian?
I don't.
Oh, Nick Vatterat, currently actually on Bill Mar's writing staff,
but don't hold that against himatterette currently actually on Bill Maher's writing staff, but
Don't hold that against him. He is a fantastic hilarious comedian who has a joke one about one time overhearing at a comedy festival Someone saying something like oh, I I'm really into comedy my friend once saw Bill Murr and
He's like I don't know if they mean Bill Maher Bill Burr or Bill Murray
Yeah, one of the three. Yeah. But we know it's a bill.
Yeah, 100%.
And that she was claiming to be good at comedy.
She was claiming to be into comedy because her friend had
once seen it once.
Yes.
So no, I like comedy because of that.
I love that.
Why are we talking about this guy?
Oh, yeah.
What does that mean?
So yes.
If you don't, I do.
If you do, I don't.
It's because in some ways, in sort of a Buddhist paradigm,
and I'd say in reality, most things are relational.
If not, everything is relational.
Like, are you a tall person?
Depends, according to, you know, are you tall?
Well, if you are, I'm not.
If you're not, I am.
Ah, interesting.
Yeah.
What if someone's exactly the same height as me?
I don't think that's possible.
It's a good point.
Yeah, I'm a very unique height.
Yeah, nobody is the same height as you.
That's what they always say.
I'm a, I believe I'm 514.
Yeah, nobody's that.
But yeah, so I, in Buddhism, the idea of reincarnation was,
it didn't, when you first start learning about Buddhism,
mainly the things are increased happiness,
decreased suffering for all sentient beings.
That's the main goal.
That's the main thing that they want.
Yeah.
And they're trying to achieve it in their own life.
Absolutely.
Or in the next life, if they believe in that.
And they say, yeah, you don't have to believe in rebirths
if you don't want.
You can still just do the stuff,
be kind, increase happiness, decrease up.
Rewind.
Yeah, exactly.
Here's a, do you think that this is a very,
a thing I just feel strongly about,
that doesn't matter at all right now. But be kind, rewind, wouldn. Here's a, do you think that, this is a very, I think I just feel strongly about, that doesn't matter at all right now,
but be kind, rewind, wouldn't it have been better
if the policy was just after you finish watching it,
you can do whatever you want, and then you return it,
and just rewind it before you watch it,
then everyone rewinds it at least once,
if you wanna be kind, additionally.
Right, it's the old.
Yes, I agree, it's the old, you know,
guys leave in the toilet seat up conversation. It's like,
wait a minute, you're saying that you didn't put it down for me?
You know what I mean? Like why why it why is it the guy's responsibility to put it down when it should be the woman's
responsibility after she's done to put it up?
That's fair though. I also do sit-to-pea So I prefer everyone leave it down and covered because when you flush
Then like the particles go everywhere. So I say everyone leave it down. Just leave it down. Yeah, leave it down. There is no frown
Yeah, exactly exactly. That's what they always say about you know
These video store people I realize this isn't the most topical
I love it, but but what are they doing all day? They can't just sit around rewinding tapes
That's you know what I mean? That's fair
You know they're making their favorites list. They're being like I recommend this one
Putting it at the what do they call that at the end of an aisle? Oh, I I
It's not a key ask, but it's you know, no, no, but I believe there's an actual term for the supermarket
Oh the end thing. It's not that right? I think I know what you're talking about.
Well, Mike, these are fascinating topics to explore.
Oh yeah, I'm not done yet, but I'm happy to be out.
Uh-oh.
Why, what, how much more?
Oh no, there is, I'm going back to the violin.
Infinite, yeah.
Infinitely more, but I will say this about reincarnation,
about rebirth, the thing that convinced me
that my old way of thinking wasn't as right
as I thought it was.
When I say to my Buddhist friend,
like, well, if they don't believe in a soul,
they don't, like, Buddhist generally don't believe in a soul.
And so I'm like, well, if they don't believe in a soul,
then what is it that is reincarnated?
And he says, well, what is it that is the same about you today
as the same as you yesterday
or the same as when you were a baby?
And like, well, you got me. So that whatever is the same, right? or the same as when you were a baby and like,
well, you got me. So that whatever is the soul, right? No, but they don't they don't have one.
But they don't. Oh, interesting. That's the thing. So when you were a baby and now whatever
this is the same about that is the thing that gets re-birthed. Right. The soul. No, but they
don't have one. Oh, oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's playing one more time. Yeah. Okay. So when
you're a baby, yeah, and a baby without a soul. Got it, got it, got it.
Right, right, of course, you know the language, baby.
And now, you were a baby, Scott Aquaman,
now you're an adult, Scott Aquaman.
Yeah.
The thing that is the same-
29 years old.
Yeah, the thing about that is the same about baby you
and now you, whatever was the same that became you now,
that is the same thing that gets rebirth in life.
Got it, the soul.
No, got it, okay, understand, all right. rebirth. Right, got it. The soul. No, got it.
Okay, understand.
All right.
The soul, you got it.
All right, wonderful.
Well, Mike, you have an incredible new comedy special called Live From the Universe.
Thank you.
That's where we filmed it.
That's right, yeah.
Not very specific, but enjoy it.
The planet's moving constantly.
It's hard to do.
It's not a fixed point.
It's all real good.
That's what time travel is so hard.
You have to calculate the where the earth is.
You can't.
It's impossible because they know how to do it.
Yeah.
They know how to travel backwards, but everyone just ends up in space.
Yeah, it's no good.
Yeah, it's no good.
It's only available on the dry bar comedy app.
This is an app that people can download on their phones, take it.
That's correct. You can also watch it on your computer.
Oh, yeah. It's fun. It's all places.
Ones, twos, etc. Exactly.
Okay. No, zeroes ones.
No, that's not. Zeroes ones, ones and twos.
On the ones and twos is a DJ. That's a DJ thing.
And on the zeros and ones is an electronic DJ.
I see, man, they should put those together.
We're zeros, ones, twos, and then, you know, like computers are out there doing, you should put those together. We're zero's ones, two's, and then computers are out there doing DJ sets.
Imagine how powerful a computer could be if it had three different options.
That's a thing.
Isn't that weird?
It's like, come on guys.
We came up with 26 things for English.
Oh yeah.
You know what I mean?
And with Chinese and everything, there's so many different characters we could use.
Meanwhile, computers are zero's and ones get the fuck outta here.
And another thing that I really feel passionately about,
letters combine into words, right?
Right. And when you put numbers together,
then they just make numbers.
Why isn't there a word that means a combination of numbers?
I think what you're saying is is like,
we spell out zero, not zero, but
an e and it makes one. Yes. Why can't we put one three five together and it means cat?
Or no, it means a or it means b. That's not exactly what I mean. No, that's what you mean. Okay. Um,
You know, speaking of words, you should host Wheel of Fortune. I'd love to. My grandmother, if I may tell you this,
my grandmother who died at 91 a couple years ago.
I was her once.
Yeah, I think that's correct.
And her mother.
She loved the three TV shows that she watched religiously.
She was an atheist.
She watched these three shows.
Prices right?
Jeopardy Wheel of Fortune.
And I'll tell you this, that if she were alive today,
she would as soon as they announced, I'll tell you this, that if she were alive today, she would as soon as they announced,
I'll tell you, when Letterman retired
and a week later, Colbert, I think, was announced
as his successor, then a week after that,
my grandmother emailed me and said,
I hear that Letterman's retiring,
you should get his job.
That's wonderful.
So I hope that whenever they announce
Pat Sejax's successor, my grandmother then sends me a message in a dream that it should be me.
My mother, when John Stewart retired,
sent the article to me saying,
you should get this job.
Yeah.
And then when Trevor Noah recently retired,
didn't send it.
That was kind of like,
it was kind of like,
you've given up on me.
She's like, we're heading in a different direction.
But right now, price is right in jeopardy.
You're taking Wheel of Fortune's the only one up in the air.
So I think you should get it.
I'm looking forward to it.
Also earlier today, right before I came here,
I did a half hour Q&A for a day camp stand-up comedy class
of seven to 12 year olds.
Wonderful.
And I shared with them a joke about how I won a comedy competition at BU and in 2005.
And then one seven year old raised his hand during the Q&A and said, I should have won.
And I was like, you absolutely should have.
You were in alive.
And yes.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we need to take a break.
Live from the universe is at the Dry Bar Comedy app.
And on the other side of this, I'll talk to you
about this book that's coming up.
But we're going to have more with Mike Kaplan,
also a folk singer, and a critic, such a packed show.
We're going to be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.
["Dry Bar Comedy App"]
Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.
Mike Kaplan is here.
Live from the universe is his special
on the dry bar comedy app.
Mike, you also have a book, Heartbrain, Art Train.
Exactly what is this?
Thank you.
A book is for what?
You get it.
It's jokes that I-
A book's made me like the thing that I just wrote
that just number four on the New York Times bestseller list.
Congratulations.
No, thank you very much.
I'm going to be doing this in the pre-interview.
This is how you wanted to segue.
Yeah, it is.
Rameen Naser is a comedian and artist,
a visual artist friend of mine who five years ago,
I asked him, do you want to collaborate on a book
where you illustrate my jokes?
And he said yes.
And then he did a couple.
And then he had a busy life for five years.
And this year, he did the rest of them.
He did two more.
Yeah, he did.
It's a four-page book.
Absolutely.
But yeah, it is, it's like, you know,
some short philosophical, weird, just one-line jokes
that don't all necessarily go in my act anymore,
but I'm like, I think are particularly lend themselves
to be illustrated by I love Ramyun's art. He has created many books full of beautiful images I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. is spelled M-Y-Q. That's right. You real soon.
Do you know that?
I'm so sorry.
There's a friend of mine named Micah Sherman.
Yes, I know Micah Sherman.
I used to, sometimes we've been friends for a long time
and we used to do musical comedy together as a duo
and we hosted a show that we called the Micah Mic Club
to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club.
And we wrote a theme song where it went,
M-I-C-A-H-M-Y-Q Club.
One.
Wonderful.
I wish I could go back in time and see it,
but fortunately the technology would just
drop me off in space.
Yes, that's correct.
Okay, well we need to get to our next guest.
He's a musician himself actually.
And this is interesting because you started in music. That's right. So I think you'll have a lot to talk about. I agree. He's a musician himself actually, and this is interesting because you started in music.
That's right.
So I think you'll have a lot to talk about.
He's a folk singer.
Please welcome to the show for the first time.
Glenn Plapplinger.
Sing in me, Muse, and Thrumi To the Story.
Hello, Scott.
Hello, Mike.
It's so nice to be here.
You sounded Irish when you said that.
Well, you sounded me, Muse, and you had a little to it.
That is nice.
There is Irish wrote you know
There's a lot of Irish influence and your senses you sound Irish at the beginning and then it then it stops
Where are you from? Well, you know, I am a rambler. I traveled all over and but originally I was from a small town
This small quaint town Greenwich, Connecticut. Oh, I was born in range not too small
No, I've heard of it
But then as a young child, you know, my father left town.
He was a small town choreographer and he took off for New York City and well, I was left
on my own with my mother.
So, he was a rambler first.
He was a rambler and that's where I take.
Was he a successful choreographer?
Unfortunately, Scott, he got to the big city of New York and well, things did not go
well for him.
This was a long time ago. This was a long,
how long ago were you talking about this?
This is in the 30s or 40s, I think.
30s for your father?
1930s?
Yeah.
You know, I'm well, I'm an advanced age, Scott.
Yeah, you must be, I mean, you must be,
I mean, this was in the 30s.
Are you doing the math?
Yeah, I mean, you're a hundred and something.
What?
Scott, when you sing timeless songs that have timeless themes,
you don't even think about your own age.
That's a good point.
So you were sort of a contemporary of Woody Guthrie.
Absolutely.
Well, Woody Guthrie was a little bit before me,
but I hit that Greenwich scene right when a young Robert Zimmerman was there.
Oh, so it was a long time.
Thirty years before.
Yeah, I was there. He started what, 1960 maybe? Yeah, I was there. I was a long time, 30 years before. Yeah, I was, I was there.
He started what, 1960 maybe?
Yeah, I was there.
I was a young man, but I was there.
You weren't a young man at that point,
because your dad left you in the 30s.
There's really no point in rehashing the history
Scott because it's all in the music.
Oh, that's a good point.
So this year poor father never got to make it as a choreographer.
Never got to make it. And then of course got to make it and then of course my poor mother
She was there we had five she had dancers. How they met she was a dancer and that's how he did her dance moves
And she did his makeup isn't that fun that's so fun
So it was like an equitable exchange an equitable exchange it after six six beautiful children of six brothers
He took off and and now we never saw him.
And was it a makeup related disaster?
Is that how he was killed?
No, back then they used lead in the makeup.
Oh, okay.
So he actually weighed in lead and mercury, so he went crazy.
He absolutely lost his mind.
Is that why he left her?
You know, we never really sorted it out, but that's what we think think because he jumped on a boxcar train one day one that wasn't moving
And for a few few years he just sat there and we would go down to his faith father
Come on home and then he would do we just sit there and then eventually that box car moved on
It didn't move for years. It didn't move for years. Not the box car. No, hmm. Wow
But yeah, that poor man and poor man and poor mother
But I love my mother hated my father and that's kind of how it all started.
Wow.
So you started in the early 60s with Robert Zimmerman,
Robert's.
Rakaib Bob Dylan.
That's what I, that's what the kids call them now,
but back then it was just little Bobby Zimmerman.
Plucking tunes down there, you know,
we had the the the raccoon jamboree was another band
around that time, the Ramblin, a lot of rambling rambling ravin
generals the
The tin the tin cup boys all those all those guys were down there a repart of any of those actually were you a solo act
I was always a solo act although I did play tin cup on two of the tin cup
tin cup boy tunes on that first EP
You know, it seems like they would have the tin cup part of it covered
But you needed to step in.
They were all good.
Totally.
And they needed a tin cup.
And so then they played, I played tin cup.
And that is what became Clover in the Meadow.
The Clover in the Meadow EP, which was the,
that was the first, one of the first EP's.
One of the first extended play records.
Incredible.
I heard recently it's actually short for Easy Peasy.
Really?
Yeah. Well, Easy Peasy. Really?
Well, Easy Peasy is what, Easy Peasy in my cup, Easy Peasy, eat them up.
That's an old Woody Guthrie line about eating peas out of a cup.
Oh, Andrea, yeah.
Well, I mean, Woody Guthrie, of course.
Oh, one of the greats.
One of the greats.
One of the greats.
One of the greats.
One of the greats.
Hated his politics, love his music.
Oh, what?
What about the unionization?
Right. I've never been a union man. I think it's really a good time.
I think especially with what's going on in Hollywood,
I think it's a good time to really think
about the other side and what they have to say.
So you're on the side of the producers and the money man.
I'm on the side of...
Belian airs out everywhere.
Independence.
I'm on the side of the independent man doing his own thing.
And I've never believed in union stuff.
You don't join any groups.
I don't join any groups.
That's why I had tink up boys.
I said, I'll play on this one track, fellas, but now I'll be on my way.
It's like Groucho.
Groucho, one said he wouldn't join any group that would have him as a member, and you
just wouldn't join any group.
Exactly.
Great guy.
Groucho, he used to come down every now and then to the village when we were playing.
I would have loved to have seen that Groucho in the audience watching Bob Dylan play.
I was a star.
He was a man. I was in the car.
It was a man.
And he just with his cigar.
Oh, yes.
And he would steal focus.
Really?
With a lot of his jokes.
He would steal focus from Bob Dylan.
Wow.
Isn't that fun?
I would love to see a collab.
Oh, what?
Man, just like Bobby D is the used to call him.
Just singing a verse and then because Bob Dylan had funny songs too.
I mean, Mike, you had funny songs.
He was my main inspiration.
Yeah, he had those songs where he would like,
you listen to live recordings of him and he'd go,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
and then he'd go, ha, ha, ha, ha,
he was the funniest joke they'd ever heard,
even though they heard him do it on the record,
millions of times.
The talking blues, the walkin' talking, yeah.
Yeah, so, just a natural entertainer.
Oh yeah. Meanwhile, the last time I saw him is back to yeah, so just a natural entertainer. Oh yeah.
Meanwhile, the last time I saw me
is back to the audience the entire time
and I walked out about 15 minutes in.
Well, I think he died a few years ago actually.
Oh really?
Is he a body double now?
You know, everybody's got a body double now.
And Biden, I mean, I've known Joe Biden since he was a kid
and he used to come around to my shows.
I used to feed him milk.
He was the doorman for a while. He loves trains. Oh you know, so you had around to my shows. I used to feed him milk.
He was the doorman for a while.
He loves trains.
You know, so you had a lot to talk about.
I feed him milkshakes and I give him milkshakes
in exchange for him polishing my dusty boots.
Wow.
Well, this is, I mean, I've never heard of you,
but you have an incredible CV, as they say.
Yes, I do.
Yes, CV.
I've also got an incredible CVS right behind my house.
They've got everything.
They've really got everything, Scott.
It's not one of the many ones, right?
Not the many ones.
No, no, no, no.
24 hour?
24 hour.
And it always seems like something bad has happened to me.
But I would say that I've actually, I've purchased many items
there, including,
well, did you know, and this was a more of 60s thing,
you could still get quailoots at some of these CBSs
and you can get them there, yeah.
And pay-o-tee buttons.
Not any more of them.
Not any more of them.
Pay-o-tee buttons?
Pay-o-tee buttons, yeah, that's how you take them.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, that's right, that's the, had the dosage, right?
That's it, all, all.
Well, the buttons are off right up.
Why do they call it the cactus?
Yeah, that's right.
And the cactus looks like a little boy in a vest.
That makes that makes sense.
Did you ever mistake a cactus or a cacti for a little boy in a vest and go up and
hug him?
Well did you ever hear my tune, Little Boy in a vest?
I didn't know I even heard that one.
That's a little boy in a vest.
Turned out to be cactus, Little Boy in a vest.
Ariel is the one night.
Little boy in a vest. Just is the one night, little boy and a vest.
You say,
Arial is one night.
Arial is one night.
That's what, when I hugged it, went right into,
your Arial is one night.
Oh, and yeah, that's the, that's the,
that's the, that's the,
that's the inspiration behind that tune.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Wow, what an incredible career.
Thank you, thank you, Scott.
It's wonderful to be here.
It's wonderful to be with, with music fans
and other musicians.
Well, you know, Mike is a music. First, he started playing the vegetable box with a stick.
Well, that's how we started, too. Thank you.
Yeah, I, when I first picked up the guitar, I was playing with a piece of horse hair on a corn cob.
Yeah. And my father and then we realized you had a guitar because you picked it up.
I picked up the guitar and then I played the corn cob and what we realized God is that that was my father when we first realized
He lost its mind. He thought the corn cob was the guitar and vice versa. Wow, right nutty guy poor man poor man
Wow, all from that makeup mercury makeup. Yeah, never did he but he made it to New York City
He made it to New York City? He made it to New York City by hooker by crook
and they took his dead body off the top of that box car.
Oh, he was on top of it the entire time.
Yes.
So when you say he hopped onto the drain.
He hopped on the roof.
He hopped onto the roof set there two years
that eventually made it to New York and his dead body
was on top of that box car and he never really made it
in New York.
If you know what I mean, he made it to New York, didn't make it.
I think I know what you mean.
He was dead.
Yes.
Well, I have to say, Glenn, this is an incredible story.
I have not heard of you, but I see you brought a guitar here.
Are you, do you want to pick that up?
Sure.
Scott, this is not a corn cob in a horse hair string.
This is 19, this is 1932. Jefferson Davis cob in a horse hair string. This is 19 this is a 1932 Jefferson Davis
High action high action guitar. Jefferson Davis. Yeah, he made guitar really. It was his grandson. Interesting guy grandson and
Let's see Abraham Lincoln
Lincoln
Sitting by the fireside. What could he be thinking? He's thinking about the Civil War and why it's just a ride.
And that's what he was crying about for a kill this wife that night.
Wow.
So let's say Abraham Lincoln, that was just for you.
I, you know, I, either it's historically inaccurate or I haven't heard these stories.
Well, you know, there's a lot of violence isn't there in folk music.
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, I guess.
Yeah.
You use it violence or violence?
Violence.
Because both are probably true.
Well, there's a lot of violent violence, isn't there?
Yeah.
There's a lot of violence in folk music,
but that's our tradition.
First Irish again.
And that's where we come from, is it, it's got.
That's all just, everyone's from Ireland.
Everyone's from Ireland, eventually.
And the music comes from there.
The original Eden, I think, was in Ireland from what I understand.
Originally Eden. That's also an old folk tune.
Oh, I'd love to hear it.
Originally Eden, here we go. One, two. mountain there I took a life took a wrong mountain and I stepped her with a
night original Eden original Eden why do you have to original see them
original sin original Eden stepped her with an event that was thinking Abraham
That's what I was thinking. Abraham Lincoln.
Oh, so that one just sort of runs out of steam.
But then I noticed that it mentions Abraham Lincoln again.
Well, I've always been a big fan of Abraham Lincoln.
On his day, they call it.
On his day, then I thought he was one of our great American heroes.
And, you know, he wouldn't like the union either.
Hmm.
Now, I don't know.
He liked the unions. Oh, I don't know, he liked the unions, but you know what, oh that's where I'm sorry.
My understanding, the original Eden, is that not the Eden of the Bible?
Well, the original Eden was the Eden of the Bible.
And so when we, but and then, you know, Scott kind of threw that thing in there about maybe
the original Eden was in Ireland.
Yes, that's right.
And I believe that with all my heart and soul because that's really where the music comes from.
This thing that I said, yes, this thing.
You believe it with all your heart and soul.
But here's the thing.
Had you ever thought about it before I said?
Never.
Not once, an action.
But in fact, that song right there, that was off the dome as the kids said.
But you know, the themes are recurrent.
Does everyone, every song involved someone dying?
Every song of my catalog involves someone dying,
usually getting stabbed with a knife,
or being thrown down a well.
Have you seen people, a lot of people die?
Is that coming from real life?
The only time I've seen someone die
is when they pulled my father off the top of that boxcar
and he was a bong.
So you went out to New York to see this.
They're doing the whole family out.
Did you guys drive?
Well, did you see the pictures, Scott?
Here it is.
That's six of us lined up in front of my father,
taking them off the back to a front page
of the New York Gezzatier.
Wow.
Where were you in the line of kids, are you?
All this youngest.
Oldest, second oldest to the youngest.
So, okay, so second, oh, okay, so you're in the middle.
Yes, how was the middle child? Snip you're in the middle. Yes, how was the middle child?
Snip, dab in the middle.
Right.
Wow.
So you've seen a lot of tragedy in your life
or at least that one.
And that's what has, you gotta put it into the music, Scott.
Yeah, you don't get hung up on these things,
you gotta tell the story.
And that's why I ended up picking up the guitar
and telling the story,
because I thought a lot of young people could relate.
And they have. So do you have young fans, the story because I thought a lot of young people could relate and they have.
So do you have young fans really?
Because I've never heard of you, but maybe I'm too old.
My last fan just died.
And that was sad, but I had it back in the day,
I had a lot of fans and that's why I came.
What happened to your last fan?
Well, my last fan also lost his mind,
but just as a product of aging.
Oh, okay.
So Alzheimer's.
Right, yeah, yeah. He was down, that's why I'm out. Oh, okay. So Alzheimer's. Right.
He was down.
That's why I'm out in California right now.
I rambled out here.
He was in a facility down in Orange County and I sat with him as his milky eyes looked
to the great beyond and peeped the spiritual realm and then I shoved him right off.
You shoved him.
I pushed him in his wheelchair, way into his room and then I
Oh, I see it. You heard he died.
I heard he died. Yeah, yeah.
And that was, that's how I wrote the Man on Wheels.
Let's hear it. Man on wheels, man on wheels, wheelin' around now how does he feel?
He doesn't feel good cause he's dying, he is dying and we're all crying, dying like
Abraham, Abraham, he just died like Abraham but not late Mary time
That's um that was the man on wheels you seem obsessed with Abraham Lincoln He's one of the gr- he's one of the greats. Well that that one could it could have been any Abraham
It really could that and true and that's true Mike that could have been the Abraham of the Bible
But then you mentioned Mary Todd. Yeah, a good could have been a
Lot of Bible from context clues one of Abraham's later wives, Mary Todd.
Did you know that?
It was Abraham, Sarah, Heygar.
Heygar, and then Wade on the line, Mary Todd.
He had 12, you know.
He had 12.
He had 12.
That was almost like a little dundup.
On the guitar, but that was a mistake.
Thank you.
Well, you're an incredible talent.
You just wrote that right after your last fan died.
I only wish that they could have been alive. I know. Well, God rest his gentle soul. That
one went out to Sergeant Barry Tomlinson. Of course, he served in two world wars
and had been oh no, they so which one number one and two he yet served. So they
got him back for two. They got him back for two. They got it both times.
They drafted both times. Terrible. One luck-lock stroke of luck and of course he went
on to serve in Korea and Vietnam as a volunteer and then they stuck him in a
nursing home down there in Orange County, God you hate to see it don't get it
was he upset that we haven't had a war since like I mean I obviously we've
been in Afghanistan for a while aren't we all?
uh huh I understand well well largely also a surprise we haven't had a war in
so long.
War keeps folks singers in business.
So I've always been pro-war because when wars happen, folksong's happened.
Yeah, but people usually like listening to folksongs about how bad war is.
How have you reconciled these things?
Well, let's hear a song about war that you sung. Flowers on the grave of all the soldiers lost.
I wish this world would go a little longer.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Where could we go next?
Maybe somewhere east or maybe somewhere west it doesn't matter
oh hey
oh hey ma'am you had the best one war of all
okay you liked the Civil War well the Civil War
a skyd I thought was a really that that was a war where a lot of these songs came from
And you know when you have a war happening you think heck I could write a million songs about that and yeah
I have written songs about every war since I was born. How many songs do you think you're written? Oh gosh
I've written I think we've heard for probably about seven minutes
So if we do the math since I started writing I'd say there's probably a 15,000 song.
Oh, and they're amazing.
Yeah, thank you.
Okay.
Wow.
Well, I understand you have one last song to take us out.
One last song to take us out.
It's a commercial.
To commercial.
And Scott, this one goes out to, this one goes out to all the folks down there in Orange
County who have claimed that my
beautiful Maryanne, for some reason her disappearance has something to do with me.
I would say it doesn't.
Wait, the police are involved.
The authorities are involved.
Two of them called them police these days.
God, I call them the bulls.
They've always been against the folks scene.
And you like that about that.
I like it.
I liked it when the cops came through and beat us down a few times because it gave us something
to sing about.
It gave us something to sing about.
Like war.
Yeah.
Okay, so go ahead and sing this song.
This is Glenn Papelinger.
This is one of his newest tracks and this goes out to all the people in Orange County who
have accused him of Mary Ann's disappearance.
I just met her, I just married her, I just found her in the ditch.
That is where she ended up by not talking cuz I ain't no stitch nitch
Oh these policemen policemen leave me alone I'm leaving tonight
On the top of a train run right away I'll see you in New York City the next time that you catch me.
That one's got, that one needs some work, doesn't it Scott?
That one's really awesome.
Well there's no Abraham Lincoln mentioned at all.
I'm sorry, I should have thrown that in there at the end.
I mean, yeah, I'm like honesty.
Never told a lie.
Chop down a cherry tree just like my wife would die. I'm like honesty never told a lie
Chop down a cherry tree just like my wife would die
Yeah, so I mean what I noticed is you've told the authorities exactly where to find her and how you murdered her
You know Scott. I can't stop the muse when the muse comes to calling please don't stop the muse
Just like a rian one said, but then she went on and said,
ik right afterwards.
That's right.
Yeah.
Well, it's wonderful to be with you all.
Oh no, you're wrapping up.
Oh, I thought I was supposed to do that.
No, I will.
I don't mean to leave you hanging out there.
We do need to take a break.
Glenn Clapinger.
Clapinger.
Clapinger, sorry.
We also have Mike Kaplan.
When we come back, a critic will be here.
This is a very tight packed show.
Tight packed.
Incredible.
You can stick around.
I'll try it as long as I don't see
the blue lights on the horizon.
Okay, wonderful.
We'll be right back with more comedy
Bang Bang after this. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- How many bang bang were back Mike Kaplan is here live from the universe is his
Special out there approximately how long is this special? It's about a half hour
60 This one they just that's very I have a why don't you just deliver it in 60
They they were the ones who recorded it and you just be like hey here's another 60
Another 30 for the 60.
Do another one at another time.
I got other things coming.
That's the thing, why everyone puts out these hours.
Put out half hours, that way you get paid twice.
It's true.
You fucking idiots.
Don't like that.
And Glenn Plappinger is here, of course.
And you've been fielding calls furiously.
Yeah, my phone's blowing up as the kids say, I guess this is already...
What is kids he's talking about?
It's hit the airwaves, Scott, I think they're liking these tunes and wow, the NFTs are flying out.
No, it's coming out for a while actually.
Oh, this isn't lying.
Oh, wow, wow, well, something's...
Who are the records?
Who's been calling you on your phone?
Oh, these are actually sales of of the new PFT the new
PFT
Fungible yeah, yeah, yeah, plap and your fungible token. Oh
Yeah, there may be a comedian that you need to talk to to clear those initials
But could be my agent
Monnie Pervians he also is a one of those guys who's always trying to get me out there and never does. Monnie Pervians.
Yeah.
All right, well we need to get to our next guest.
She is a critic.
I, again, do not know what she's criticizing, but we'll talk to her about that.
Please welcome Candle St. Louis.
Uh, hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
Hello.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah, wonderful to have you.
This is Mike.
Hi.
A pleasure. A pleasure. And you. Yeah wonderful to have you. This is Mike. Hi a pleasure a pleasure and Glenn
How do you do hello? I'm actually familiar with both of your works already do kiss her chin
It was very wet
Way too wet. Sorry. That's a sometimes a little bit of the honey gets in my beard
Are you out there? You're just searching through beehives?
What is going on?
Well, something to keep the vocal cords nice and limber is milk and honey.
Put it in the jar, shake it up, and that's battle A.
Wonderful.
All right.
Well, a candle.
What an interesting name.
Oh, thank you.
St. Louis.
Uh, were you named after where you were born or what was lighting the room?
No, I was one of those. I had those parents that let you pick your own name.
Oh, and on my first birthday I saw a candle and so I named myself candle.
Oh, was it the candle in your birthday cake?
No.
Oh, it was a different candle.
Different candle, yes.
What was special about this candle?
I don't know, it was just on the table, it was lit.
Yeah.
Okay, I don't know.
Yeah. I was I don't know.
Yeah.
I was like, is that unsafe?
Was it in a candle holder?
No.
Candelabra?
It was a candle, yes, a candle labra.
I need to name yourself Candelabra.
Huh.
Good note.
Good critique, if you will.
Oh, man, this is so much, oh, I mean, this is your game.
You are a critic.
Yes, thank you.
So you know good criticism when you hear it.
What exactly do you criticize?
Where do you, where do you, are you a So you know good criticism when you hear it. What exactly do you criticize? Where do you where do you are you a writer?
Critic are you yes? Well, I may the world's first and only one word critic
So I just review everything in one word. I started with movies. I've never heard of this before
But I guess if you're paid by the word, this is a terrible job day
No, but paid very handsomely, but for just the one word. I started with movies and then I
moved on to sort of like whatever. How much money do you make? Like $750,000 a year. A year?
My word. Yeah. My word. My word. Yeah. Well, it's just really popular. Oh, okay. Well, what is it? Is it arts or what do you criticize?
Well, like movies, arts, people, music.
I hope you're a music.
Yeah.
You said you've heard our work?
Yes, of course, yes.
Oh, OK.
And when you criticize people, what word do you normally use?
Well, it depends on the person.
That's a good point.
There's so many words.
Yeah, exactly.
Wow.
Do you own a dictionary?
And you just like, put it open to a page and just There's so many words. Yeah, exactly. Wow. Do you own a dictionary and you just like, you know,
put it open to a page and just point down at one thing?
And that's what you...
My Thastaurus turns to like dust, basically, every year.
I use it so much.
Wow, incredible.
Do you recycle the dust or...
No.
Is it just around your house?
It just around my house.
Sweep it out, put it in the ash can.
Yeah, sometimes, but mostly just there.
Interesting. Interesting. Well, can, but mostly it's just there. Interesting.
Yeah.
Well, can we hear one of these reviews possibly?
Right, so I'm famous for my review of Titanic.
Oh, okay.
My one more review was Boat.
Huh.
I guess I might, did you ever see the movie Titanic?
I have seen Titanic.
It's the one where obviously our good friend,
friend Brockloved is in it.
Yep, of course.
Or what's his name Bill plays him.
Yes.
A fictionalized version of him in it.
Sure.
You know what I'm talking about,
obviously when I say all that.
100%.
And boat is your review?
Mm-hmm.
Went down the year that I was born.
You know
19 oh
19 13 19 13 is when you were born. I think this is it's a very subversive review because I was your dad left when you were pretty old
No need to be the the the math Scott it was more of a story less than 110 years
I've performed on a cruise ship twice in my life.
Oh.
And I would call it a boat.
And sometimes they'd be like, it's not a boat.
It's a ship.
It's a ship.
Yeah.
And I don't know.
And watercraft.
In Titanic, exactly.
A space water.
Yeah.
And avatar.
And but you're saying boat, the word boat, when the in Titanic,
Titanic, we call it a ship.
But boat. I thought it pretty much the... In Titanic, Titanic. We call it a ship, but boat.
I thought it pretty much summed it up.
Yeah, yeah.
And you say you're famous for that one?
Yes, famous.
And that's what got me the job at the New Yorker.
Oh, you're the critic for the New Yorker?
Yeah, the one word critic for the New Yorker.
Okay.
Do they put a lot of other words around it,
so it's not just a big empty page, or is it?
No, it's expensive, so it's just like the one word.
It has my little photo with my name
and then it's my one word review.
Right.
Not.
Boat.
And people liked that.
Yeah, they did.
I mean, I was a very successful high school bully.
That's how I sort of knew I'd be able to do this.
How does one become a success at that?
Is that in quantity or quality of the bully?
Both.
It's sort of the measure is how many teachers you get to quit.
Oh, so you were bullying the teachers?
Both, yeah, students, teachers, anyone.
Anyone who came across your path?
Both, yeah.
Both.
Both.
Exactly, yes.
Oh, okay.
And how many teachers quit under your purview?
About 40.
40 teachers over the course of your higher education
or, and lower, I would imagine lower I would imagine exactly like 10 a year
Yes, like one a month. Yeah exactly one a month really
Yeah, I would not when I was a freshman. There was a teacher and he gave me a B and I called him
I called him invisible and then he never came back
So you're you're critiques and bullying of your teachers were one word as well.
It sounds like the real scourge of the yearbook.
And you called him invisible.
Yes. And then he sort of had this vacant look in his face.
I knew I had said just the right word.
Are you sure you're not magic and you say one word and they become that?
You're an oracle.
And you just disappear.
I never even thought about that. Maybe.
Because maybe the movie Titanic didn't exist. And it wasn't about a boat sinking until you said the word boat.
Huh. That's really trippy. I'm super high right now.
I know. Yeah. Sort of a lot. Maybe. I before this. So it might have been about. It's a podcast.
It's making it fun. Nathan Fielder and Jessalnik and Eugene Merman, the Titanic of comedy.
Mmm. That's right. Yes.
So you're successful at bullying people with one word,
and that's translated into your job.
Exactly, yes.
Interesting.
What are some of your other reviews if you don't mind me?
Well, I reviewed Soeson Kane, and I said Rose Bud.
I've reviewed several of your albums,
so it's so nice to see you in person.
Really?
I don't read reviews.
I never read reviews, what I always say say but I would love to hear one of the
words you listen to them I listen to them on record I saw one I think one was knife knife
yeah knife is oh that's the yeah that that makes sense that checks out we at the New Yorker trying to
figure out if you're a murderer a ghost or both well you know I've been reading the New Yorker since
1942 when Pinky Lowenstein used to run the reviews and she would come down there and
You know come come down in there into the village and give reviews of it really you were 30 years old
woman named after the most racist finger and
Also, I have a different times. If I remember correctly the magazine used to be called the new Amsterdamer
Exactly that's back in the old days when the reviews were long
and the substance was little.
And I have a feeling you've turned that on a tip.
Oh, thank you.
People don't have a lot of time to read reviews now.
So I've noticed that it's not even like you're reviewing
or criticizing them as much as you're encapsulating them.
Well, sort of, but some of them have like a spin
or an opinion of them.
Like what?
Like sticky. Or. And what is that, but some of them have like a spinner and opinion to them like sticky or
What is that what the review of that was a review of the departed?
Okay, interesting sticky because when I went to go see it in theaters the floor was like oh, oh
So you're reviewing your own experience. Yes, but that's my experience. I'm like the common man.
Like my experience is the experience.
Right, right.
Interesting.
Love the common man.
Well, singular man.
You mean the man.
Right.
You love the man.
The common man.
The one big man at the top.
Yeah.
And people like, people like these.
You're famous for them.
So people like these.
Well, people's attention span is so short these days.
People don't want to say.
That's a joke.
OK, well, now you're going to get a better review for me than.
Oh, wait, you're reviewing me?
Yes, of course.
I'm going to review this experience at the end in one word.
No, nervous.
No, you're doing great.
This is going to be great.
Oh, OK.
What do you think it would be if you had to review it right now?
Sticky.
I'm sorry, the floor sticky?
Yeah, just a little bit sticky.
So that's what I'm going for.
Have you ever thought that maybe your shoes are sticky?
From this movie you went to and you've just never cleaned them off?
I'm a little bit high right now, so that's sort of hard to handle.
I had a button of drugs earlier.
A button of drugs?
Don't hug a cactus.
Could be from my sticky little jar of milk and honey here
that I put on the floor right by your chair. Sorry about that. I thought this was going
to be awkward because I've never reviewed one of your albums favorably but it's good to
do. Yeah. Like one I said Abraham Lincoln for one of the words. What are two words? Well,
is it though if you don't put a space between them? It's a good question. It's a good point.
I can offer briefly, like a hashtag.
I went to school for linguistics.
Oh, really?
I took a class called morphology, which is essentially the study.
So is that about that incredible technique that James Cameron invented for movies like
The Abyss and Terminator 2 Rise of the Machine?
It's exactly that.
The morphing technology used in Michael Jackson's
black or white video.
That's correct.
I'm just a black hand white.
But the joke people made about him was he was both,
but the song was, it doesn't matter if you're.
That's right.
It doesn't matter if you're black and white.
Also works.
If I were him, I would have stayed away from the whole thing.
Yeah.
But he was not one to shy away from controversy was, but he was not one to shy away from controversy.
Was he, but you are one to shy away from controversy?
I hate if you're triggered out there with me talking about this kind of stuff, but that's just my comedy.
But well, let's get back to Candle St. Louis.
Of course.
Have you cleaned off your shoes?
I noticed you took a rag to them.
Yeah, I'm getting higher by the minute too.
Really panicking over here.
Why are you getting higher?
I don't know.
You know, are you taking ingesting more and more buttons of drugs?
Yeah, I thought that would help.
It happens.
Over the course of time, you don't know.
It continues to release in your system.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Is there anything we can do to calm you, to soothe you?
I stop spinning, I think.
I don't think that's me doing it, but maybe I could spin counterclockwise.
And that way it would even itself out if we try
I go the wrong way
I'll go
I'm terrible
Okay, now you're really sticky. Yes sticky feeling sticky. Yeah, yeah, oh, man
So you are high as a kite right now,
which on a windy day, that can get pretty high.
Yes.
Am I a kite?
No, I'm a human woman.
Never mind, sorry.
We need to talk her down.
I have a quick question.
Yeah.
Since you said, Abraham Lincoln, which I do think
it can be one word.
Regardless of whether you put a base in it.
We have more fallowage.
Or not, yes.
So the question of like,
cranberry is a word made of two more themes,
cran and berry.
Is it a compound?
No, that's not.
No, a compound word is usually where there's two words
that are words by themselves.
Yeah.
And then they come together.
Like bendable.
I don't know if that's also.
That's also.
It's two words.
You got to admit, bangle and bangle.
You're absolutely right.
But yeah, so I guess my question is what's the longest word that has been one word that you've maybe taken spaces out and put them all together
Yes, it was pages and pages
Those three words pages and pages. That's not even as long as Abraham Lincoln
No, but it is three words combined into one
It's a good point. I mean, it's longer in that sense.
My first review of Comedy Bang Bang, I had a lot to say.
Oh, you've reviewed it before? I haven't seen it before.
I check it every couple years. Do a new review.
Yeah. A lot of you?
Yeah. That's, I mean, so seven times or so?
Yeah, one was just PFT, so not even a full word.
Yeah, for a plappinger, so not even a full word. Oh, okay, yeah, for a plop and your fungical token.
Yeah.
Yeah, one was just Scott, one was Rambling, one was Knife, one was Sticky.
You Sticky, what?
Thumbs, yes.
Thumbs, yes.
Right, Rambling, wow.
Mm-hmm.
I, that's very flattering to know you've been checking in on it.
Oh, yes, correct.
So, now you're on the other side, you are now a guest,
and you have a conflict of interest, I think, now.
You probably can't review this particular episode.
I just might.
Because you don't get it.
So you don't get it about conflicts.
No, no, no, no.
I really, what is it called?
Integrity?
Journalistic integrity.
I don't like subscribe to that way of thinking.
That would be incredible if someone's in a play
and also-
Reviewed that very simply.
Yeah, see this is Broadway shows should just cast reviewers.
Yes.
In their shows, then they get the best reviews ever
and their massive hits.
I mean, and Castoni award voters.
Yes.
This is the most successful Broadway show of all time.
But here, if there are any Broadway producers
out there listening, I know there's at least one.
This is the pathway, pathway, pathway.
And pathway.
And pathway.
No, but that's a compound word.
Oh, yes, that's the list.
That's the list.
But I think also, it would be.
It's hard to scream pathway right now.
No, you have no idea what I'm saying.
I liked it a lot.
Pathway, pathway, pathway.
Yeah, I like it even more now.
And it's like when a director is also the actor
in the movie and the director is directing themself.
So it would be just like that.
A reviewer reviewing themself, I think is no different.
I've never seen a director direct themselves in a movie
and been hard on themselves.
Like you, God damn it.
Like doing 116 times like a adventure.
Come on, you can't get it this right.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
Scott, you said something that is accidentally
very offensive to critics, which is that we're jealous
that the subjects that we're criticizing
are making something and we're just complaining
about the thing that they're doing.
I don't think I said anything of the sport.
But it sounds like you're not getting a nerd.
No, no, I think you said that literally.
It sounds familiar.
And I just wanted to say, yes, I tried to be famous in my own right.
Like, yes, I tried.
How did you try to be famous?
Because from what I recall, your pathway to success
was starting out as a bully and then you became a critic.
Yes, well, I also just simultaneously,
I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to be I also just simultaneously, I wanted to be like an artist.
I wanted to be a singer and dancer.
I wanted to be famous, but then I-
His dad was a choreographer.
Oh, right.
All town, then we made it to the big city of New York.
We made it there.
We did make it, we did.
Never consciously.
If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.
And that's a good comment on the US rail system.
That's right. What was I saying?
You were saying that you tried to be an artist yourself and done.
Yes, but that was boring and stupid and dumb.
So I didn't fail and I just was bored, yes, exactly.
I was boring, so now I'm a critic.
Have you ever heard the expression,
physician heal thyself?
I would like to make it analogous to your profession and say, critic, criticize thyself. I would like to make it analogous to your profession and say,
critic criticize thyself. Why don't you do one of your one-word criticisms of
your own criticism? Or even critique. Okay, so should I am I critiquing myself or
critiquing the critique that I'm about to critique. I'll take it.
They were him like it.
I like it.
Your eyes lit up.
You got
I think I see dollars.
I'm
on your eyes.
That's a pupil.
Heck of a critique.
That's that's the old, uh, you know, it did remind me when you said you were a, um, uh, linguist.
Is that right?
That's right.
You ever heard a gnome chomsky? I have heard that guy's a bastard, but he was a young, he was a young man. did remind me when you said you were a linguist, does that right? That's right.
You ever heard of Noam Chomsky?
I have heard.
That guy's a bastard, but he was a young kid
kicking around the village when I started first singing.
And he's a linguist, isn't he?
He was like the original linguist.
He was the OG linguist.
Yeah, he was like what Freud was to psychology.
Chomsky was to linguists.
No one had ever thought about words before.
Not a bit.
And I wonder what a old gnome Chomsky would say
about that review.
Abraham Lincoln, that's a good one
because I bet he would say he likes it.
And you know him the most.
I do.
I know him as a kid.
You used to hang out with as a kid.
He was a kid.
He was a dormant.
You were about 60 years old.
With Joe Biden, he and Joe Biden used to kick it
around the village and well, you know
Did people make fun of him because his name sounds like eating eating eating? It's like numb numb numb chomp chomp chomp
Yeah, exactly. It's like come on. Hey man. Look you're making me hungry any time I hear from you
Exactly and then that's why he got into linguistics
I believe to say like that's not what these words mean
Yeah, it actually is a name. Yeah, and I'm a famous guy now name Chomsky. Yeah
Then we're like, okay,
we need to go back to linguist school. Yes. Exactly. A quick thing also earlier, you just reminded me
when I was doing this workshop for these seven to 12-year-olds, one of them asked me the question,
how long does it take to become a famous? Yeah. And how long does it take you, by the way, Mike? Because
you mentioned winning this competition in 2006
Then I know just five years later you're on comedy bang bang. Yeah, I so I think it took five years
Took me a long longer than that didn't it? Well, you didn't even get started in your 50s, right?
And then here I am so I don't nion nion decades to before before I got here
You're great. Thank you. I appreciate that.
Just milk and honey.
That's all I eat.
I think you should have stuck with the tin cup boys.
I love their album.
Really?
Are they still coming out with stuff?
I haven't checked in with them for a few years.
They're amazing.
They're rich.
Really?
Their cup is not tin anymore.
It's golden.
Really?
Did they change their name?
Yeah.
Was golden your review? Mm-hmm. The golden Did they change their name? Yeah. Was golden your review?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
The golden cup full of the balloons?
Yes.
What do they go by now?
Is it still teen cup boys?
Did they change their name?
That's the question I just asked.
Oh, thank you, Scott.
I'm hosting them.
It's like that.
First you want to take us to break and now you're hosting?
That's right.
This is my podcast.
I'm sorry, I never left.
I've never done a podcast before, so I thought, why not drive the train just
like my father did all the way to New York. He didn't necessarily
drive unless he's pretending to be sad on top of a box.
I work up well, I think the fellows on top of that train sat
him right up. And sometimes they thought, Hey, wouldn't it be
funny if he was driving, but was he turning an imaginary invisible
wheel and sort of honking in an invisible horn? Had he spent
the time on the way all the way from Ohio to New York, Scott, you got to do bits.
You got to do gags and they would prop my father up on an old barrel and say he's driving the train.
Did he have a spindle?
He did have a spindle at a spindle full of dance belts.
One for every day of the week.
That's delightful.
Does a train have a wheel?
Is there a wheel like in a car?
Who knows?
Too high for that.
Mm.
There's a train have a wheel.
I did have a song about that.
Does the train have a wheel?
Who's driving this train?
Mm.
Uh.
Does the train have a wheel?
Does the train have a wheel?
What are you trying to ask?
Like, does it have a steering wheel?
Oh, a steering wheel.
I thought you meant wheels like, of course they have wheels. No, no, no. Like, steering the train. Does the person who does that have a steering wheel? Oh, a steering wheel. I thought you meant wheels, like, of course they have wheels.
No, no, no.
Like, steering the train does the person who does that
have a whole lot of fun.
I know he's got a big shovel, right?
And he's constantly feeding coal into the fire.
He's got a big whistle as well.
Yeah, around his neck.
He's a little hat.
He's the one who makes that full of ripenoy.
Yeah.
The referee is driving the train.
The train conductors and reveries are very similar. They all have striped hats
Mm-hmm. They should just maybe they do the same thing on their off-hours. You know what I mean? They all take tickets. They all call fouls
Foul on the train
That's what you can't do that. No sit there. Put your suitcase up up above
Foul you didn't bring a ticket. Yeah.
You didn't bring a ticket. Fowl.
Well, I got a second, old viewer.
You're a very interesting person and I hope you give me a good review.
Interesting. Is that the review? No, I'm just saying like,
if you had to give a one word critique of me, what would it be?
And be honest.
Hi.
You definitely need very very high.
Whoa.
Uh, petulant naive? I don't know.
Huh. Okay. Interesting.
Yeah. I'd say nice.
To share.
By the way, all those milk and honey jars, I see like a little bit of metallic just sheen underneath it.
Did you bring a knife to this podcast? Well, the metallic sheen is I put a dose a little bit of mercury and a little bit of lead.
With this one killed your fucking there. But it also kept him interesting, Scott.
He was an interesting guy. I mean, I give him that. That's right.
Travel to New York City by just sitting on top of a train car
with a bindle full of seven dance belts,
one for every day of the week.
That's right.
And so you can't ride a folk song
if you don't have some interesting tales to tell.
And that's why I put a little bit of Mercury,
not enough to kill me, just enough to keep my head
and nice and loose.
That's a good point.
And my skin, a beautiful blue tone.
You do, I didn't want to say this,
but speaking of James Cameron,
you look a lot like the avatar
people.
What do you call them, the Navi?
Yeah.
Sure.
I have never seen a movie.
I had last movie.
I had never seen a movie.
I had never seen a talkie.
Last movie I saw with words in it must have been, oh, Casablanca or something like that.
Oh, okay.
You don't like talkies?
Did you see the jazz singer?
And you were like, not for me.
That's right.
Although I'm sure you liked the guy in black face.
Were you there when they showed the movie of the trade
and everyone ran screaming?
What's movie was that?
You know what?
The first one.
Oh, the first one.
Yeah.
Oh, the first movie of the-
Were you the guy who started screaming?
Scream.
That's what killed your dad?
Well, we called that movie Scream.
Interesting.
Because of your reaction.
Right. That's right. Everybody went screaming right out of the theater. So you said scream. Interesting. Because of your reaction. Right.
That's right.
Everybody went screaming right out of the theatre.
So you said Scream.
So you called the train movie.
So would you call movies just based on the audience reaction?
So this one was laughed.
That's what I did.
That's right, but what I did was.
You were the first one-word reviewer.
Well, how do you like that?
No, no, no, no, no, it's me.
That's a tale to tell.
It's a tale to tell. You're getting defensive. Depensive is maybe the word I'm supposed to say. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no by the Tink-Up. Interesting group. Next time we should get them on the show. Really should, Scott.
Really should.
Well, look, we are running out of time.
I hate to say that, but we only have time for one final feature on the show.
And that is, of course, a little something called plug.
Gzzzz.
Who are they single and finally here?
If we listen really close and answer me up here.
Open up.
Open up.
Open up.
What the plug's first are those of the speakers and
they not necessarily reflect the views or positions of comedy bang bang.
Okay, that was closing the plug back by Lot Ha Ha.
Okay.
That was fun.
That was fun.
I enjoyed that.
Alright guys, what do we plug in?
Mike, obviously, we have your special live from the universe. Yes, and people can download this dry bar comedy app. Yeah, and it will just be the only time they ever use it
Well, they watch your thing and then you throw it away. Good. Be I recommend never heard. Yeah. Oh, yeah
No, it's been around for some years now
Yeah, and you can use the promo code on their website drivebar comedy.omedy.com. The promo code, Mike Kaplan spelled my weird way,
NYQ, K-A-A-P-L-A-N, Mike Kaplan.
And that will get you a free month.
Oh, okay.
And do you think it'll take a month
to watch your special?
I don't, if you watch it like a minute a day,
you should be fine.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's how I recommend doing it.
And then I do have my newest albums
that are available where albums are,
I recall, AKA, that's what I was last on,
promoting when I was here,
and I more recently released a previous album,
more widely, it's very confusing,
not to get into it, but it's called Live in Between albums.
That is an album that I released.
In between?
Live in between albums.
Okay, I recorded it in between two other albums,
and so I put it out and called it that.
And your book, Heartbrain Art Train, I already say the word train around you guys.
Oh, it's okay.
It's a vehicle and an implement a death.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes, that is available.
Go to my website and my social media,
which is all at Mike Kaplan.
And I think the best way to get things from me
if you want them is my sub-stack newsletter,
which is Mike Kaplan.substack.
You are really diversifying.
I love to see your revenue streams.
Oh, sure.
Incredible.
All right.
Kendall St. Louis, what are we plugging here?
A two podcast to plug sitcom D&D and Hey Riddle Riddle.
So check those out wherever you find podcasts.
Hey Riddle Riddle is a fun name.
Yeah, thank you.
Like the children's poem.
What's the theme of the podcast riddles?
That makes it great podcast. Oh really? You're your podcast. I love podcast. I never know the podcast love to listen never seen a movie since
Screen one
So you were you went entertainment list for
Decades just songs just songs songs, but hey, music is your life.
And speaking of your life, Glenn Paplinger,
what are you plugging?
Well, Scott, I'd like to plug mega, the podcast,
and a new little mini-series they're doing over there
called The Rise and Fall of Twin Hills,
which is a sort of hybrid, improvised, true crime documentary
that's taking place in the world of the podcast.
Wow.
Kind of an interesting thing.
Hey, mega, I believe that I was on that show.
You did guest on that show as an intimacy coordinator
for a really good nativity package.
For the nativity package, a real classic move.
Really, really fun.
So yeah, we were just, where do people get it?
It's Meg.
You can Meg on any of the things that you listen to mega the podcast.com
And it's called Ryzenfall of twin hills. It's episode three just came out. Okay
Incredible and I want to plug of course
Comedy bang bang the podcast the book is still out there and
It's a perfect opportunity to get it
I don't know why this mix it's a perfect opportunity to get it. I don't know why this makes it so perfect. Good review.
But you can't get it.
And you can get all the links to buying it over at CBBWorld.com
slash book.
And while you're at CBB World, you can get wonderful shows
over there, shows like CBB Presents,
where we have shows like Hey Randy with Randy Snuts,
and this book changed my life with Lily Sullivan,
as well as Who Me,
starring the Batman with the Batman.
And we just did Hines, I'm Prov to Meet You,
where Will Hines teaches guests from this show, Improv.
So many great shows over there, plus Scott hasn't seen.
College Town, ad-free episodes of this show,
as well as all the archives.
All right, let's close up the old plug bag.
Yeah.
At least we got O-no in there.
Come on, let's take a new one.
Oh, doors are made for closing.
We take them up and shut them tight
And then doors are made for lucky
So we take our, take our, take our key
Open up the blood bag
Open up the blood bag Oh my God, oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Open up the flood bag.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Open up the flood bag.
All right, that was plug it on by King Love Duck Electricity.
Thank you so much.
If you have a closing or opening plug bag theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs.
And guys, I want to thank you so much, Mike. Always a pleasure to see you.
Thank you so much. Thank you so much for returning for this sequel to your seminal episode.
Oh yeah.
And really sorry about my laugh.
No need to apologize to my good fellow. I hope I have not ruined your life.
No no I think my my life is mainly making other people laugh so this is you know it's fine for my
laugh to not. You never hear that Pogliacci joke where it's like a guy goes to the doctor and goes like,
Hey, Doc, I'm feeling sad and the doctor goes, get the fuck out of here.
I got you. You know, that's, I haven't heard it that way, but it's sort of like the aristocrats.
Yeah, I guess. I like that where you can tell it everyone.
Yeah, in fact, on my album, A.K.A, there is a reference to that.
I have a joke about that joke.
At least a rig for the Pogliacci hit the, that's right, the Pog heads.
joke. At least a rig for the Pogley. That's right. The Pog heads.
I want to thank you, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Candle St. Louis.
Uh, it's, uh, how are you doing?
You're sweating so much right now.
I'm coming down hard.
Like a kid landing on cement.
I, oh, no, is this gonna affect your review?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Feels like it. Um, I would say, I I'd give I'd say the show is good. Okay. Oh, thank you so much.
I feel like a good review. Yeah, it's a good review. Good is the enemy of great, of course.
And then Glenn Papelinger. Thanks so much for being here, Scott.
Stop hosting. I see you picking up your guitar, though.
Are you you have a song to take us out? Is that what you're, uh, yes, I do.
Scott, well, is there something that you wanted to hear since you're a fan of, of course?
Is there, was there any sort of topic you wanted to cover or just hit the, hit the ramp?
I want to hear about your mother. She, uh, she was a makeup artist, of course.
Yeah, makeup artist. How do you even play it? So sticky from all the money.
It is. Sticky. I've got honey. Well, Well, the mercury cuts through the honey so that it, let's see,
oh, song about my mother.
So song about your mother, you know, the maker part.
This is a glad papalto.
Here we go.
Let's take it out.
Mother, you used to paint the faces of the dead.
All those pretty corpses down at the city more
And one day they said there's one more face to paint they said
It's your darling husband, they found him on the train
Paint the faces of the dead
The faces of the dead, it's your darling baby boy
You paint the faces of the dead There's a 13 more verses guy, but I'm afraid I don't have time. I see the blue lights flashing over here. Oh, no, yeah, I'm sorry the cops are here. I called them. I hope that's alright. Thank you, Scott. Thank you so much.
I mean, you said she did his makeup. I didn't know that it was after he was dead for the funeral. Okay, we'll see you next time. Thanks bye.