Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Myq Kaplan, Greg Hess, Erin Keif

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

Comedian Myq Kaplan joins Scott to talk about his new comedy special “Live From The Universe”, his new book “Heart Brain Art Train”, and getting into comedy via singing. Then, folk singer Glen... Plapinger stops by to play a few of his original songs. Plus, critic Candle St. Louis drops by to share some of her famous one-word reviews.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Music Come and see my mind, come and see my mind. Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm going to hell tonight and so are you. Yuri. Very ominous. Thank you to Rock and Roll toast for that catchphrase submission and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang indeed.
Starting point is 00:00:41 This is an incredible show we have today. My name is Scott Ockerman. I'm the host of comedy bang bang. And usually we have a panoply of guests of all sorts of different stripes. I don't know whether I'm using the word panoply correctly. I, it just popped in my brain and I went for it. I don't think I've ever said it out loud before.
Starting point is 00:00:59 But I'm sure that if I did not use it correctly, the this week's corrections will come in a mere hour after the episode is released. I always love getting all of the week's corrections from you wonderful listeners. Let us know what we said wrong every single week. Coming up a little later on the show, we have a folk singer. Oh, very exciting. Love musicians. We've had some of the great musicians on this show, Dan Mangin, of course, the rest. We also have a critic coming up a little later.
Starting point is 00:01:30 We'll see who or what they criticize. And before that, we have a returning to the show. It's been, I didn't look up exactly when your last episode was, but I'm guessing around seven years or so ago, I'm gonna do it while a mere moments after I introduce you. He's a stand-up comedian. He has a new special out called Live from the Universe,
Starting point is 00:01:57 which people can see on the Dry Bar comedy app, and a book as well. He's also an author with the book Heart Brain Art Train coming out. Please welcome back to the show, Mike Kaplan. Hello, Mike. Thank you so much for having me back. Whenever it was, I hope that you don't get
Starting point is 00:02:13 a panoply of corrections in our later. Ah, very good. Always love being here. Thank you for having me. Oh my gosh, you were on a mere three years ago. That's, I think it was pandemic. Pandemic? Yes.
Starting point is 00:02:28 It's all a wash to me in the pandemic. Yeah, we were in different places. It wasn't. I don't count that as a bad thing. It does not count. But before then, 2011. That was quite a stretch in between. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:02:39 As my yoga teacher once said to me, Mike, wonderful to have you back. Thank you. He said to me that it was quite a stretch in between your appearances on this show. What? I don't know why he's so interested in you. Your yoga teacher is a fan of mine.
Starting point is 00:02:52 That is. I have a fan of teaching me yoga. He's sitting here talking about my stupid podcast. Mike, welcome back to this show. Great to see you. Thank you, same. That it's great for me to see you. Is that what you're trying to say?
Starting point is 00:03:05 I think it wasn't what I was trying to say, but it is what I understand I accomplished saying. It's not about your intent. It's about what actually happened, okay Mike? Absolutely, yes. Your laugh sounds fake. Because anyone ever told you that all the time. I mean, I, yes, at all.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Or at least that laughed it. Yeah, it wasn't. I think it was, I'm not trying. I mean, I, yes. Or at least that left it. Yeah, it wasn't. I think it was. I'm not trying. I mean, was it fake? I don't think it was. I think it might have been fake. I don't, I think it wasn't totally fake.
Starting point is 00:03:33 Okay, but it was a mixture of fake to real. I mean, I think it was like a half calf left. I think a half calf left. Wait, oh, see, there it is again. There it is again. Oh my God, you're still doing it! This is my, I think this is my real laugh. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:48 I'm really sorry to say, I think that here, maybe it's this. I have recently, I may have undiagnosed asthma. Oh. My, my, my voice teacher, I took voice lessons in college. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Yes, me, me, me, me. Oh, that's Yes, no, me, me, me, me, me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I mean my oh my voice teacher was the cooking spray a nice lady original model cooking spray the one thing about the Just like the landalakes butter woman. Oh, she's so hot Pam on that Pam spray
Starting point is 00:04:32 Yeah, this this Pam I mean I think she's a nice looking lady, but I'm not we're just saying that about your your voice coach Well, you were just say you started it. I don't know her you but you just a second ago I feel like if I play back with you, I would hate to be your voice coach and sit there going, is he judging my appearance the entire time? I definitely wasn't. I haven't thought this is the first time
Starting point is 00:04:51 I've ever mentioned my voice teachers. I, when I'm taking voice, I like to look between the eyes and the mouth. We got eyes, nose, mouth. Those are the old and maybe the years. If I'm doing it again. This, okay. So I, please don't. That is a fake laugh.
Starting point is 00:05:08 That's a realistic sounding fake laugh. I just did. I'm not an actor. So I'm here as myself with my real laugh and just everyone's not what my, so this voice teacher, Pam, I'm sorry that's her name, but it is Pamela, does that help you? Does it make it better?
Starting point is 00:05:22 Does it change it at all? She told me when I was doing some, you know, breathing exercises, she was like, oh, it seems like you might have like activity-induced asthma. And so I've, I've, I've, hands up my ass. What exactly is that? Like if you're, you know, you engage in
Starting point is 00:05:36 some extensive physical activity. And what were you doing that was extending? I was singing. Yeah, but you came to her to learn how? Yes, that's correct. So she gets you sick, diagnosis you, and then what? Then I... You sue her, right?
Starting point is 00:05:51 I don't engage in the activity for many years. Oh, okay. Yeah, I just don't sing that last name. But the asthma remains? Every once in a while I have... It's about teacher. It comes up every once in a while. What's her last name?
Starting point is 00:06:03 Do you want it? I think she's good. I think she's probably retired now as well. How is your singing voice? So then have you used it? I did actually get into comedy via singing. Tell me the story. I don't know this about you. Wow.
Starting point is 00:06:18 I'm haphal. I'll do an abridged version. I'll do the verse for us. I don't want to be in the abridged. I'm like Jack Power. Jesus Christ. There it is again. This is a Nervic. Have I never laughed on the show before? I think so. Okay. Well, you've gotten funnier. I appreciate it. I don't know that I agree with that. I've always had a good time. I think I peaked in 2011.
Starting point is 00:06:38 If we go a panoply of responses, like a super cut of my laugh previously on the show. I would like that. I would like a fan to do that. 2011, 2020. What has the corrections for the for a while and give you a super cut of Mike's laugh? Yes, so what it, oh yes. So here's how comedy has it. I worry that when you raise your hands, you hit your fingers on the table. I did do that. Yes. Are your fingers all right?
Starting point is 00:06:59 Yes. Two of them hurt a little bit, but I'm fine now. Which two? The pointer and middle finger on my left hand. We need better names for these fingers. Pointer and middle. Pointer I get. Yeah. It's like, you, not a lot of people
Starting point is 00:07:10 are pointing with the other one. That's true. That narrows it down. Do you like ring finger? I mean, that's just a historical societal thing. I know, but it has nothing to do with the finger. You don't have rings on any finger as well. I know, I don't like to play by society's rules.
Starting point is 00:07:24 So no, I don't like. Do you like pinky? Pinky's pretty good. Pinky's the rings on any finger as well. I know, I don't like to play by society's rules. So no, I don't like. Do you like pinky? Pinky's pretty good. Pinky's the star of the show as far as I'm concerned. Also, every finger is the same color. So pinky really is not a good point. It doesn't differentiate. Plus it's kinda racial.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Yeah, absolutely. People who do not have pink skin also. We're doing away with it. No more. Even though it's the most well-known finger, we're getting away. How about just one, two, three, four, five? Okay, but what's one? Thumb. Thumb is How about just one, two, three, four, five? Okay, but what's one?
Starting point is 00:07:45 Thumb. Thumb is one? Thumb, two, three, four, five. Okay, there we go. Thumb, two, three, four, five. Do you know, actually, Thumb knows three, four, five. Now, Thumb knows three, four, five. We, a long time ago, we substituted two for nose.
Starting point is 00:07:59 So we have to keep that going. I didn't know. Also, I do think I remember maybe the very first time I was on the show, perhaps it was 2011, if that was not the first time. That's the only other show. I think the episode was the episode called Thumbs Yes. It is indeed called Thumbs Yes.
Starting point is 00:08:12 My Kaplan, all thumbs, referring to these episodes only. We should call this one Thumbs No. Yeah! Thumbs No, 3, 4, 5. Yeah, is it No with NO or just can? It's N-O, it's N-O, it's N-O, yeah. So this is the sequel to Thumbs Yes. Thumbs No, Thumbs No, 3, four, five. Yeah, is it no with NO or just can? No, it's N-O-O. Yeah, so this is the sequel to Thumbs Yes. Thumbs No, Thumbs No, three, four, five.
Starting point is 00:08:29 I love it. You tell me to get it. Okay, I'll really try. I mean, I'll do my best. Now, see, this is bad though. I feel bad because I was always told one thing that you should never tell a person is you have an ugly smile because then it makes them never want to smile you.
Starting point is 00:08:41 I'm not saying that about you. You have a beautiful smile. Thank you very much. Very good looking man. And then also I hate your laugh. Those are the two things you should remember because then it saps all joy from people. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:08:51 They get two in their head about that. So I don't, I rescind it. Your laugh sounds good. Thank you very much. I'm out of my head about it. Okay. So there I was four years old in New Jersey, learning how to play the violin
Starting point is 00:09:02 per my parents' requirements. Seems young. Yeah, that's the AG often play the violin per my parents' requirements. It seems young. Yeah, that's the AG off and start the violin. Don't you like sticking your like bow right in your eye? You know, we had, I didn't start with a real violin and bow. I think I did a real bow. You did a drawing of them? Some people use like a wooden stick,
Starting point is 00:09:19 just to learn how to hold it. That seems even more dangerous. That's fair. A sharp wooden stick. But instead of the violin, we did have a ruler for the neck and it was taped to a box of frozen food empty. This sounds still. Who are these teachers that you're getting with?
Starting point is 00:09:35 They all sound like quacks. I'll give you the first name of all the teachers. The first teacher I had was Sally and then Margot and then Catherine. Was it Sally Rod? That's not correct, no. Yeah, that would have been amazing. Yeah, that would be great. We learned on a spaceship. Was it Sally Rod? That's not correct, no. Yeah, that'd have been amazing. Yeah, that would be great.
Starting point is 00:09:46 We learned on a spaceship. A spaceship? Yeah. Is that the right term? I'm not a space scientist. Is that the right term? Oh yeah, it's not surgery. I mean, you might have transferred to a spaceship
Starting point is 00:09:58 in the middle of the universe. I have no idea. I don't know what doesn't qualify. Is a rocket ship not a spaceship? You know that is a good question. I don't know. I think qualify. Is a rocket ship not a spaceship? I know that is a good question. I don't know. I think it's definitely in the spaceship family, but a spaceship to me implies that it's from another planet.
Starting point is 00:10:12 Doesn't it? To you? I don't know. Do we have, I mean, we have spacecraft possibly, but a spaceship implies that it's from somewhere else. I think. So then to other planets, our rockets are spaceships. Correct.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Thank you. OK, so I think so. So you were going from our rockets are spaceships. Correct. Thank you. So you were going from the perspective of an ET. I think most people I think aren't from this planet. So I try to think on their behalf. There's 8 billion here, but many more elsewhere. So for years old, you're just sawing away on this vegetable box. And then they did give me a real violin, and it sounded sounded awful and it it felt awful and I didn't enjoy it and
Starting point is 00:10:47 I took all yeah I took lessons it was emotionally it didn't feel yeah you're not sticking it up your at physically no I was not I wasn't in the movie American pie the gender swapped version that was it was a flute but you know the gender and instrument swapped version. Exactly. I think this would be popular. American Pie, the gender and musical instrument swapped version. Yeah, not a flute, but a bow. So yeah, I played violin and didn't enjoy it, but in high school, I had started playing the guitar.
Starting point is 00:11:20 I taught myself guitar very easily. Now here I am trying to decide whether you could have cut the whole violin portion of this story. But go ahead. Too late. So I didn't like the violin. I loved the guitar. I started teaching myself music by my mom's piano books. I was like, oh, I have my fingers here. I love doing it. Now I'm really deciding how much of this story is really necessary. Every sentence you're saying right now, I'm judging it. Okay, that, here it comes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:49 We haven't gotten to the inciting incident. I started writing songs and some of them were funny. Then, okay. Then I went, I called, I found, I searched pre-Google, comedy. How did you search pre-Google? Did you go town to town?
Starting point is 00:12:04 I think there were. There were. I think there were other non-agogle? Do you go town to town? I think there were I think there were other Not you heard tell I'll do you want me to just say that's funny because that's what I do sometimes but that usually means it's less funny Um, Scott that was a good joke. So I'll do my best Yeah, I so do my best. Yeah, so I wrote funny songs, or some of that were supposed to be funny. And I went on to Hotbot, I believe.
Starting point is 00:12:30 What is Hotbot? It was a search engine before Google. Oh, really? Yeah, okay. And I think Yahoo was around pre-Google as well. So I think. Ask Jeeps? I did ask Jeeps as well.
Starting point is 00:12:39 Speaking of wonderful mascots that were sexy as hell. Ha. How's that one? I didn't like it. I liked it even worse. Yeah, I cut it off. That's why I laugh naturally. I'm sorry to get in your head.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Can't do it. But yeah, so I went to the comedy studio. What were you searching for? Has anyone ever been funny on music? No, no. I was searching for places to just play my music legitimately. So I was searching for like clubs. I think I just probably just,
Starting point is 00:13:05 I always just, and one of the clubs that popped up, like a lot of music venues, but then one comedy club, the comedy studio in Boston. Interesting. So you already have these songs that were kind of funny. Some, yes. Did you pitch yourself to them of like,
Starting point is 00:13:18 oh, I do songs that are funny. I did, I said I play music, but I have several songs that are funny, and they said that they could give me five to seven minutes. Wow. Were they, I mean, I've always heard that it's tough to get stage time at places was, was it the unique nature, unique New York, unique New York, nature of your act or were they just giving
Starting point is 00:13:40 stage time to everybody? I think they had just recently become a comedy club. Oh, it's from what? From nothing. From a Chinese restaurant empty room. It was in the third floor of a Chinese restaurant that had like a dance club late night on the weekends. So many floors in these Chinese restaurants.
Starting point is 00:13:54 This one had three. This one had three. This was the top. Very top. Tip top. Same place that Eugene Merman began. Is that so? Yes, Eugene Merman was the, I think, the darling of the comedy studio when I began and Brendan Small.
Starting point is 00:14:06 They were the, they were like two of me. It's a wonderful act, soon to be wonderful stars. You, Eugene Merman, one of the Titans of comedy. Absolutely. Is that a tour? Yeah, yeah, well, it's him, Anthony Jazzelnick, Nathan Fielder, they're the Titans of comedy. Do they tour?
Starting point is 00:14:22 No, they just came on the show together once. But I branded them, thusly. Oh, wow? No, they just came on the show together once. Oh, I branded them Oh, wow, that's real. It's very real. You could listen back. There's evidence of this the Titans of Compton. You're not making this up now No, no, I'm going to look up what episode that was absolutely in the meantime. So when I was five I that was a time part of part of when I didn't like the violin and I'm just vamping for you It's doing things that don't matter. You don't have to listen to. Yeah, of course. March 7, 2013. Ah! 10 years ago, we just reached the 10th anniversary of the Titans of Comedy. Wow! Congratulations! Yeah, incredible. They should come back on the show. If they want to and don't have to. I would love to get them all together, but it's so hard to get the Titans together.
Starting point is 00:14:59 They're, as you can tell. They're so big. How can they get into such a small space? But yet, so I called up and Rick Jenkins, the owner of the comedy studio. Owner of the comedy studio, that's a funny song. Yeah, it's a parody. Yeah, so the studio is actually reopening later this year. They moved. Do you think they would use that? I think they might.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Okay, could you send this to them? I would be happy to. How am I gonna get you an MP3? I mean, well, it's... Dropbox. Yeah, I do. We're recording a podcast. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Just to listen. Just to listen. And maybe get a tape recorder and put it next to the whatever he's listening to the podcast on. Yeah, I think that's the way to do it. That's probably the way to do it. He does, he does enjoy when the comedy studio is mentioned in media. Oh, okay. This counts. This is media. So, why were you talking about that, though. Oh, okay. This counts. This is media. So why were you talking about that though?
Starting point is 00:15:48 Oh, because I called him. Oh cool. He was the one who I said, can I come play some funny songs at your place? And he said, sure, you can have five, seven minutes. I love this impression of this guy. Does he really sound like that? Kind of like a Kermit, the frog-ish, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:01 I really. He's like, you know, he should do a Kermit, the frog because I think whoever's doing it now isn't quite hailing it. I know what I mean. I think he'd be great. He'd be great. Yeah, we should get him involved. Jenkins the Frog.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Because I don't know that we need to change Kermit's name. Oh, I don't want to lie to the people. Oh, it's a good point. Yeah, there are people, like they've come to expect a certain level of Kermitness. And, yeah, so I think it was, they eventually did have an open mic, but at the time they didn't. So he just gave me a spot on a Thursday.
Starting point is 00:16:32 A Thursday, right? And you remember it was a Thursday? Absolutely, because they only had Thursday, Friday, I think they had Thursday to Sunday. It might have been a Sunday. It was either a Thursday or a Sunday. I started on a Sunday myself. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Yes. There is a program that exists that I could ask Rick later when I send him this. Meaning, people got physical programs. Physical programs. Was it, did they have play bill at the time? I don't think. Hi. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Oh dear. So that one was fake. Your other one is real. I mean, I, it one is real. I mean I It was in volunteer. I'm not doing it on purpose 100% seems like you're a people please. I mean, is that a safe assessment of your personality? I want people to be happy. It's it's both. It's your love language. Thank you for asking definitely I Don't know what are they acts of services one
Starting point is 00:17:24 Being performed upon you? Yeah, four, on behalf of. On behalf of. Okay, so people going out and doing charity work in your name. Yeah, I think that's right, yeah. Loving words or words of affection, I think that's what I like that one.
Starting point is 00:17:38 You like that one? I like services well, not gifts, I don't need gifts. You don't know, who needs gifts? I've got enough stuff. Exactly, we're all trying to Throw away most of what we have. Oh, yeah. I mean So here's here's I think an analogy that if I remember why I'm saying it will be good Alan Watts the philosopher. Yes. I enjoy you said that as a question like do you know who that is?
Starting point is 00:18:01 Of course I know I guess the question is really is philosopher the word? and like, do you know who that is? Of course I know who that is. I guess the question is really, is philosopher the word got to Google something? Hahaha. Is, I think philosopher is the word that I would use if he's like, what is Alan Watts? I mean, like a thinker, a spiritual speaker, you know?
Starting point is 00:18:15 So let's jeopardy question this. Yeah. He's a thinker and a spiritual thinker. Who is Alan Watts? Yeah, so he, I listened to one's talk about a Buddhist teacher say when somebody asked the Buddhist teacher. Was he, was it, were you over hearing them or you eavesdropping? I was listening on a map. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Yeah, Alan Watts was dead, long dead. Long dead? Yeah, I think, hey, rest in power, Alan Watts. Absolutely, yeah, don't know when it happened, but it was before this past year or two. We hope it was, we hope it was peaceful, we hope it was quick. Yeah. We hope his family was gathered around him and wishing him goodbye as he went off into whatever exists outside of this plane of existence. Yeah, or getting redistributed within this plane of existence.
Starting point is 00:18:58 That's right. Yeah. Do you believe in reincarnations? I mean, that's a, I'll say this. I don't know if I believe in it, but I think I may have in a past life. That is a joke that I wrote, and I don't wanna, I wanna be honest with you. Yeah, I appreciate the transparency. But the truth, here's the true answer to the question, is that I would have said several years ago, no, I do not believe in reincarnation.
Starting point is 00:19:18 However, I have recently been learning about Buddhism from a Buddhist friend, a practicing Buddhist friend. Okay. And they say, like, rebirths are a part of sort of the... But is everybody rebirthed? Because the population keeps growing. Oh, I believe there's infinite sentient beings, an infinite number.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Yeah, that's how it works. Okay, great. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, so it makes sense. And it goes back to beginningless time. So since beginningless time, we have been in every relationship possible to one another.
Starting point is 00:19:47 You've been my mother, I've been your mother. Yeah, exactly. I love that. I think we both made a good choice. But it went together. I like where we're at now. Yeah. I like to thought that I was your mother one.
Starting point is 00:19:57 This is a great one. Yeah. Yeah. How I met your mother. Yeah. How I auditioned. How I was your mother. There we go.
Starting point is 00:20:04 100%. So you were listening to this guy, Mr. Watts, of course, on a nap. And he was quoting a Buddhist teacher who, when asked, do you believe in God? The answer that the Buddhist teacher gave was, if you do, I don't. And if you don't, I do. Interesting. That sounds like a boarded wedding vows, but what exactly does that mean? I think it means, I relate to it in this way, that I would say that I used, and I sometimes say this on stage,
Starting point is 00:20:32 but it is the truth, that I used to identify as an atheist, and now I'm like, why do we have to talk about it? Because I brought it up fine enough. Like, I think that whenever I hear people, like I used to be a hardcore atheist, the kind that people, if atheists are like that, then I'd rather be religious. I'm like, I used to be a hardcore atheist, the kind that people, if atheists are like that, then I'd rather be religious. I'm like, I was like that.
Starting point is 00:20:49 I'm like a Bill Mar type. I was a more Bill Mar-ish type. Bill Mar? Yeah, I was Bill Moore. I think I might have been more than Bill Mar. By the way, do you know Nick Vatterat, the comedian? I don't. Oh, Nick Vatterat, currently actually on Bill Mar's writing staff,
Starting point is 00:21:04 but don't hold that against himatterette currently actually on Bill Maher's writing staff, but Don't hold that against him. He is a fantastic hilarious comedian who has a joke one about one time overhearing at a comedy festival Someone saying something like oh, I I'm really into comedy my friend once saw Bill Murr and He's like I don't know if they mean Bill Maher Bill Burr or Bill Murray Yeah, one of the three. Yeah. But we know it's a bill. Yeah, 100%. And that she was claiming to be good at comedy. She was claiming to be into comedy because her friend had once seen it once.
Starting point is 00:21:33 Yes. So no, I like comedy because of that. I love that. Why are we talking about this guy? Oh, yeah. What does that mean? So yes. If you don't, I do.
Starting point is 00:21:41 If you do, I don't. It's because in some ways, in sort of a Buddhist paradigm, and I'd say in reality, most things are relational. If not, everything is relational. Like, are you a tall person? Depends, according to, you know, are you tall? Well, if you are, I'm not. If you're not, I am.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Ah, interesting. Yeah. What if someone's exactly the same height as me? I don't think that's possible. It's a good point. Yeah, I'm a very unique height. Yeah, nobody is the same height as you. That's what they always say.
Starting point is 00:22:06 I'm a, I believe I'm 514. Yeah, nobody's that. But yeah, so I, in Buddhism, the idea of reincarnation was, it didn't, when you first start learning about Buddhism, mainly the things are increased happiness, decreased suffering for all sentient beings. That's the main goal. That's the main thing that they want.
Starting point is 00:22:26 Yeah. And they're trying to achieve it in their own life. Absolutely. Or in the next life, if they believe in that. And they say, yeah, you don't have to believe in rebirths if you don't want. You can still just do the stuff, be kind, increase happiness, decrease up.
Starting point is 00:22:39 Rewind. Yeah, exactly. Here's a, do you think that this is a very, a thing I just feel strongly about, that doesn't matter at all right now. But be kind, rewind, wouldn. Here's a, do you think that, this is a very, I think I just feel strongly about, that doesn't matter at all right now, but be kind, rewind, wouldn't it have been better if the policy was just after you finish watching it, you can do whatever you want, and then you return it,
Starting point is 00:22:54 and just rewind it before you watch it, then everyone rewinds it at least once, if you wanna be kind, additionally. Right, it's the old. Yes, I agree, it's the old, you know, guys leave in the toilet seat up conversation. It's like, wait a minute, you're saying that you didn't put it down for me? You know what I mean? Like why why it why is it the guy's responsibility to put it down when it should be the woman's
Starting point is 00:23:17 responsibility after she's done to put it up? That's fair though. I also do sit-to-pea So I prefer everyone leave it down and covered because when you flush Then like the particles go everywhere. So I say everyone leave it down. Just leave it down. Yeah, leave it down. There is no frown Yeah, exactly exactly. That's what they always say about you know These video store people I realize this isn't the most topical I love it, but but what are they doing all day? They can't just sit around rewinding tapes That's you know what I mean? That's fair You know they're making their favorites list. They're being like I recommend this one
Starting point is 00:23:51 Putting it at the what do they call that at the end of an aisle? Oh, I I It's not a key ask, but it's you know, no, no, but I believe there's an actual term for the supermarket Oh the end thing. It's not that right? I think I know what you're talking about. Well, Mike, these are fascinating topics to explore. Oh yeah, I'm not done yet, but I'm happy to be out. Uh-oh. Why, what, how much more? Oh no, there is, I'm going back to the violin.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Infinite, yeah. Infinitely more, but I will say this about reincarnation, about rebirth, the thing that convinced me that my old way of thinking wasn't as right as I thought it was. When I say to my Buddhist friend, like, well, if they don't believe in a soul, they don't, like, Buddhist generally don't believe in a soul.
Starting point is 00:24:34 And so I'm like, well, if they don't believe in a soul, then what is it that is reincarnated? And he says, well, what is it that is the same about you today as the same as you yesterday or the same as when you were a baby? And like, well, you got me. So that whatever is the same, right? or the same as when you were a baby and like, well, you got me. So that whatever is the soul, right? No, but they don't they don't have one. But they don't. Oh, interesting. That's the thing. So when you were a baby and now whatever
Starting point is 00:24:53 this is the same about that is the thing that gets re-birthed. Right. The soul. No, but they don't have one. Oh, oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's playing one more time. Yeah. Okay. So when you're a baby, yeah, and a baby without a soul. Got it, got it, got it. Right, right, of course, you know the language, baby. And now, you were a baby, Scott Aquaman, now you're an adult, Scott Aquaman. Yeah. The thing that is the same-
Starting point is 00:25:14 29 years old. Yeah, the thing about that is the same about baby you and now you, whatever was the same that became you now, that is the same thing that gets rebirth in life. Got it, the soul. No, got it, okay, understand, all right. rebirth. Right, got it. The soul. No, got it. Okay, understand. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:27 The soul, you got it. All right, wonderful. Well, Mike, you have an incredible new comedy special called Live From the Universe. Thank you. That's where we filmed it. That's right, yeah. Not very specific, but enjoy it. The planet's moving constantly.
Starting point is 00:25:40 It's hard to do. It's not a fixed point. It's all real good. That's what time travel is so hard. You have to calculate the where the earth is. You can't. It's impossible because they know how to do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:53 They know how to travel backwards, but everyone just ends up in space. Yeah, it's no good. Yeah, it's no good. It's only available on the dry bar comedy app. This is an app that people can download on their phones, take it. That's correct. You can also watch it on your computer. Oh, yeah. It's fun. It's all places. Ones, twos, etc. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Okay. No, zeroes ones. No, that's not. Zeroes ones, ones and twos. On the ones and twos is a DJ. That's a DJ thing. And on the zeros and ones is an electronic DJ. I see, man, they should put those together. We're zeros, ones, twos, and then, you know, like computers are out there doing, you should put those together. We're zero's ones, two's, and then computers are out there doing DJ sets. Imagine how powerful a computer could be if it had three different options. That's a thing.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Isn't that weird? It's like, come on guys. We came up with 26 things for English. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? And with Chinese and everything, there's so many different characters we could use. Meanwhile, computers are zero's and ones get the fuck outta here. And another thing that I really feel passionately about,
Starting point is 00:26:51 letters combine into words, right? Right. And when you put numbers together, then they just make numbers. Why isn't there a word that means a combination of numbers? I think what you're saying is is like, we spell out zero, not zero, but an e and it makes one. Yes. Why can't we put one three five together and it means cat? Or no, it means a or it means b. That's not exactly what I mean. No, that's what you mean. Okay. Um,
Starting point is 00:27:19 You know, speaking of words, you should host Wheel of Fortune. I'd love to. My grandmother, if I may tell you this, my grandmother who died at 91 a couple years ago. I was her once. Yeah, I think that's correct. And her mother. She loved the three TV shows that she watched religiously. She was an atheist. She watched these three shows.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Prices right? Jeopardy Wheel of Fortune. And I'll tell you this, that if she were alive today, she would as soon as they announced, I'll tell you this, that if she were alive today, she would as soon as they announced, I'll tell you, when Letterman retired and a week later, Colbert, I think, was announced as his successor, then a week after that, my grandmother emailed me and said,
Starting point is 00:27:56 I hear that Letterman's retiring, you should get his job. That's wonderful. So I hope that whenever they announce Pat Sejax's successor, my grandmother then sends me a message in a dream that it should be me. My mother, when John Stewart retired, sent the article to me saying, you should get this job.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Yeah. And then when Trevor Noah recently retired, didn't send it. That was kind of like, it was kind of like, you've given up on me. She's like, we're heading in a different direction. But right now, price is right in jeopardy.
Starting point is 00:28:26 You're taking Wheel of Fortune's the only one up in the air. So I think you should get it. I'm looking forward to it. Also earlier today, right before I came here, I did a half hour Q&A for a day camp stand-up comedy class of seven to 12 year olds. Wonderful. And I shared with them a joke about how I won a comedy competition at BU and in 2005.
Starting point is 00:28:48 And then one seven year old raised his hand during the Q&A and said, I should have won. And I was like, you absolutely should have. You were in alive. And yes. Yeah. All right. Well, we need to take a break. Live from the universe is at the Dry Bar Comedy app.
Starting point is 00:29:06 And on the other side of this, I'll talk to you about this book that's coming up. But we're going to have more with Mike Kaplan, also a folk singer, and a critic, such a packed show. We're going to be right back with more comedy bang bang after this. ["Dry Bar Comedy App"] Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Mike Kaplan is here.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Live from the universe is his special on the dry bar comedy app. Mike, you also have a book, Heartbrain, Art Train. Exactly what is this? Thank you. A book is for what? You get it. It's jokes that I-
Starting point is 00:29:36 A book's made me like the thing that I just wrote that just number four on the New York Times bestseller list. Congratulations. No, thank you very much. I'm going to be doing this in the pre-interview. This is how you wanted to segue. Yeah, it is. Rameen Naser is a comedian and artist,
Starting point is 00:29:54 a visual artist friend of mine who five years ago, I asked him, do you want to collaborate on a book where you illustrate my jokes? And he said yes. And then he did a couple. And then he had a busy life for five years. And this year, he did the rest of them. He did two more.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Yeah, he did. It's a four-page book. Absolutely. But yeah, it is, it's like, you know, some short philosophical, weird, just one-line jokes that don't all necessarily go in my act anymore, but I'm like, I think are particularly lend themselves to be illustrated by I love Ramyun's art. He has created many books full of beautiful images I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:25 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:41 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. is spelled M-Y-Q. That's right. You real soon. Do you know that? I'm so sorry. There's a friend of mine named Micah Sherman. Yes, I know Micah Sherman.
Starting point is 00:30:52 I used to, sometimes we've been friends for a long time and we used to do musical comedy together as a duo and we hosted a show that we called the Micah Mic Club to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club. And we wrote a theme song where it went, M-I-C-A-H-M-Y-Q Club. One. Wonderful.
Starting point is 00:31:11 I wish I could go back in time and see it, but fortunately the technology would just drop me off in space. Yes, that's correct. Okay, well we need to get to our next guest. He's a musician himself actually. And this is interesting because you started in music. That's right. So I think you'll have a lot to talk about. I agree. He's a musician himself actually, and this is interesting because you started in music. That's right.
Starting point is 00:31:26 So I think you'll have a lot to talk about. He's a folk singer. Please welcome to the show for the first time. Glenn Plapplinger. Sing in me, Muse, and Thrumi To the Story. Hello, Scott. Hello, Mike. It's so nice to be here.
Starting point is 00:31:38 You sounded Irish when you said that. Well, you sounded me, Muse, and you had a little to it. That is nice. There is Irish wrote you know There's a lot of Irish influence and your senses you sound Irish at the beginning and then it then it stops Where are you from? Well, you know, I am a rambler. I traveled all over and but originally I was from a small town This small quaint town Greenwich, Connecticut. Oh, I was born in range not too small No, I've heard of it
Starting point is 00:32:04 But then as a young child, you know, my father left town. He was a small town choreographer and he took off for New York City and well, I was left on my own with my mother. So, he was a rambler first. He was a rambler and that's where I take. Was he a successful choreographer? Unfortunately, Scott, he got to the big city of New York and well, things did not go well for him.
Starting point is 00:32:24 This was a long time ago. This was a long, how long ago were you talking about this? This is in the 30s or 40s, I think. 30s for your father? 1930s? Yeah. You know, I'm well, I'm an advanced age, Scott. Yeah, you must be, I mean, you must be,
Starting point is 00:32:37 I mean, this was in the 30s. Are you doing the math? Yeah, I mean, you're a hundred and something. What? Scott, when you sing timeless songs that have timeless themes, you don't even think about your own age. That's a good point. So you were sort of a contemporary of Woody Guthrie.
Starting point is 00:32:52 Absolutely. Well, Woody Guthrie was a little bit before me, but I hit that Greenwich scene right when a young Robert Zimmerman was there. Oh, so it was a long time. Thirty years before. Yeah, I was there. He started what, 1960 maybe? Yeah, I was there. I was a long time, 30 years before. Yeah, I was, I was there. He started what, 1960 maybe? Yeah, I was there.
Starting point is 00:33:08 I was a young man, but I was there. You weren't a young man at that point, because your dad left you in the 30s. There's really no point in rehashing the history Scott because it's all in the music. Oh, that's a good point. So this year poor father never got to make it as a choreographer. Never got to make it. And then of course got to make it and then of course my poor mother
Starting point is 00:33:26 She was there we had five she had dancers. How they met she was a dancer and that's how he did her dance moves And she did his makeup isn't that fun that's so fun So it was like an equitable exchange an equitable exchange it after six six beautiful children of six brothers He took off and and now we never saw him. And was it a makeup related disaster? Is that how he was killed? No, back then they used lead in the makeup. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:33:52 So he actually weighed in lead and mercury, so he went crazy. He absolutely lost his mind. Is that why he left her? You know, we never really sorted it out, but that's what we think think because he jumped on a boxcar train one day one that wasn't moving And for a few few years he just sat there and we would go down to his faith father Come on home and then he would do we just sit there and then eventually that box car moved on It didn't move for years. It didn't move for years. Not the box car. No, hmm. Wow But yeah, that poor man and poor man and poor mother
Starting point is 00:34:22 But I love my mother hated my father and that's kind of how it all started. Wow. So you started in the early 60s with Robert Zimmerman, Robert's. Rakaib Bob Dylan. That's what I, that's what the kids call them now, but back then it was just little Bobby Zimmerman. Plucking tunes down there, you know,
Starting point is 00:34:38 we had the the the raccoon jamboree was another band around that time, the Ramblin, a lot of rambling rambling ravin generals the The tin the tin cup boys all those all those guys were down there a repart of any of those actually were you a solo act I was always a solo act although I did play tin cup on two of the tin cup tin cup boy tunes on that first EP You know, it seems like they would have the tin cup part of it covered But you needed to step in.
Starting point is 00:35:05 They were all good. Totally. And they needed a tin cup. And so then they played, I played tin cup. And that is what became Clover in the Meadow. The Clover in the Meadow EP, which was the, that was the first, one of the first EP's. One of the first extended play records.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Incredible. I heard recently it's actually short for Easy Peasy. Really? Yeah. Well, Easy Peasy. Really? Well, Easy Peasy is what, Easy Peasy in my cup, Easy Peasy, eat them up. That's an old Woody Guthrie line about eating peas out of a cup. Oh, Andrea, yeah. Well, I mean, Woody Guthrie, of course.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Oh, one of the greats. One of the greats. One of the greats. One of the greats. One of the greats. Hated his politics, love his music. Oh, what? What about the unionization?
Starting point is 00:35:44 Right. I've never been a union man. I think it's really a good time. I think especially with what's going on in Hollywood, I think it's a good time to really think about the other side and what they have to say. So you're on the side of the producers and the money man. I'm on the side of... Belian airs out everywhere. Independence.
Starting point is 00:35:57 I'm on the side of the independent man doing his own thing. And I've never believed in union stuff. You don't join any groups. I don't join any groups. That's why I had tink up boys. I said, I'll play on this one track, fellas, but now I'll be on my way. It's like Groucho. Groucho, one said he wouldn't join any group that would have him as a member, and you
Starting point is 00:36:13 just wouldn't join any group. Exactly. Great guy. Groucho, he used to come down every now and then to the village when we were playing. I would have loved to have seen that Groucho in the audience watching Bob Dylan play. I was a star. He was a man. I was in the car. It was a man.
Starting point is 00:36:26 And he just with his cigar. Oh, yes. And he would steal focus. Really? With a lot of his jokes. He would steal focus from Bob Dylan. Wow. Isn't that fun?
Starting point is 00:36:35 I would love to see a collab. Oh, what? Man, just like Bobby D is the used to call him. Just singing a verse and then because Bob Dylan had funny songs too. I mean, Mike, you had funny songs. He was my main inspiration. Yeah, he had those songs where he would like, you listen to live recordings of him and he'd go,
Starting point is 00:36:50 blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then he'd go, ha, ha, ha, ha, he was the funniest joke they'd ever heard, even though they heard him do it on the record, millions of times. The talking blues, the walkin' talking, yeah. Yeah, so, just a natural entertainer. Oh yeah. Meanwhile, the last time I saw him is back to yeah, so just a natural entertainer. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Meanwhile, the last time I saw me is back to the audience the entire time and I walked out about 15 minutes in. Well, I think he died a few years ago actually. Oh really? Is he a body double now? You know, everybody's got a body double now. And Biden, I mean, I've known Joe Biden since he was a kid
Starting point is 00:37:20 and he used to come around to my shows. I used to feed him milk. He was the doorman for a while. He loves trains. Oh you know, so you had around to my shows. I used to feed him milk. He was the doorman for a while. He loves trains. You know, so you had a lot to talk about. I feed him milkshakes and I give him milkshakes in exchange for him polishing my dusty boots.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Wow. Well, this is, I mean, I've never heard of you, but you have an incredible CV, as they say. Yes, I do. Yes, CV. I've also got an incredible CVS right behind my house. They've got everything. They've really got everything, Scott.
Starting point is 00:37:51 It's not one of the many ones, right? Not the many ones. No, no, no, no. 24 hour? 24 hour. And it always seems like something bad has happened to me. But I would say that I've actually, I've purchased many items there, including,
Starting point is 00:38:05 well, did you know, and this was a more of 60s thing, you could still get quailoots at some of these CBSs and you can get them there, yeah. And pay-o-tee buttons. Not any more of them. Not any more of them. Pay-o-tee buttons? Pay-o-tee buttons, yeah, that's how you take them.
Starting point is 00:38:18 I didn't know that. Yeah, that's right, that's the, had the dosage, right? That's it, all, all. Well, the buttons are off right up. Why do they call it the cactus? Yeah, that's right. And the cactus looks like a little boy in a vest. That makes that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Did you ever mistake a cactus or a cacti for a little boy in a vest and go up and hug him? Well did you ever hear my tune, Little Boy in a vest? I didn't know I even heard that one. That's a little boy in a vest. Turned out to be cactus, Little Boy in a vest. Ariel is the one night. Little boy in a vest. Just is the one night, little boy and a vest.
Starting point is 00:38:45 You say, Arial is one night. Arial is one night. That's what, when I hugged it, went right into, your Arial is one night. Oh, and yeah, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the inspiration behind that tune.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Beautiful, beautiful. Wow, what an incredible career. Thank you, thank you, Scott. It's wonderful to be here. It's wonderful to be with, with music fans and other musicians. Well, you know, Mike is a music. First, he started playing the vegetable box with a stick. Well, that's how we started, too. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Yeah, I, when I first picked up the guitar, I was playing with a piece of horse hair on a corn cob. Yeah. And my father and then we realized you had a guitar because you picked it up. I picked up the guitar and then I played the corn cob and what we realized God is that that was my father when we first realized He lost its mind. He thought the corn cob was the guitar and vice versa. Wow, right nutty guy poor man poor man Wow, all from that makeup mercury makeup. Yeah, never did he but he made it to New York City He made it to New York City? He made it to New York City by hooker by crook and they took his dead body off the top of that box car. Oh, he was on top of it the entire time.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Yes. So when you say he hopped onto the drain. He hopped on the roof. He hopped onto the roof set there two years that eventually made it to New York and his dead body was on top of that box car and he never really made it in New York. If you know what I mean, he made it to New York, didn't make it.
Starting point is 00:40:06 I think I know what you mean. He was dead. Yes. Well, I have to say, Glenn, this is an incredible story. I have not heard of you, but I see you brought a guitar here. Are you, do you want to pick that up? Sure. Scott, this is not a corn cob in a horse hair string.
Starting point is 00:40:23 This is 19, this is 1932. Jefferson Davis cob in a horse hair string. This is 19 this is a 1932 Jefferson Davis High action high action guitar. Jefferson Davis. Yeah, he made guitar really. It was his grandson. Interesting guy grandson and Let's see Abraham Lincoln Lincoln Sitting by the fireside. What could he be thinking? He's thinking about the Civil War and why it's just a ride. And that's what he was crying about for a kill this wife that night. Wow. So let's say Abraham Lincoln, that was just for you.
Starting point is 00:40:53 I, you know, I, either it's historically inaccurate or I haven't heard these stories. Well, you know, there's a lot of violence isn't there in folk music. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, I guess. Yeah. You use it violence or violence? Violence. Because both are probably true. Well, there's a lot of violent violence, isn't there?
Starting point is 00:41:11 Yeah. There's a lot of violence in folk music, but that's our tradition. First Irish again. And that's where we come from, is it, it's got. That's all just, everyone's from Ireland. Everyone's from Ireland, eventually. And the music comes from there.
Starting point is 00:41:24 The original Eden, I think, was in Ireland from what I understand. Originally Eden. That's also an old folk tune. Oh, I'd love to hear it. Originally Eden, here we go. One, two. mountain there I took a life took a wrong mountain and I stepped her with a night original Eden original Eden why do you have to original see them original sin original Eden stepped her with an event that was thinking Abraham That's what I was thinking. Abraham Lincoln. Oh, so that one just sort of runs out of steam.
Starting point is 00:42:09 But then I noticed that it mentions Abraham Lincoln again. Well, I've always been a big fan of Abraham Lincoln. On his day, they call it. On his day, then I thought he was one of our great American heroes. And, you know, he wouldn't like the union either. Hmm. Now, I don't know. He liked the unions. Oh, I don't know, he liked the unions, but you know what, oh that's where I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:42:29 My understanding, the original Eden, is that not the Eden of the Bible? Well, the original Eden was the Eden of the Bible. And so when we, but and then, you know, Scott kind of threw that thing in there about maybe the original Eden was in Ireland. Yes, that's right. And I believe that with all my heart and soul because that's really where the music comes from. This thing that I said, yes, this thing. You believe it with all your heart and soul.
Starting point is 00:42:50 But here's the thing. Had you ever thought about it before I said? Never. Not once, an action. But in fact, that song right there, that was off the dome as the kids said. But you know, the themes are recurrent. Does everyone, every song involved someone dying? Every song of my catalog involves someone dying,
Starting point is 00:43:07 usually getting stabbed with a knife, or being thrown down a well. Have you seen people, a lot of people die? Is that coming from real life? The only time I've seen someone die is when they pulled my father off the top of that boxcar and he was a bong. So you went out to New York to see this.
Starting point is 00:43:23 They're doing the whole family out. Did you guys drive? Well, did you see the pictures, Scott? Here it is. That's six of us lined up in front of my father, taking them off the back to a front page of the New York Gezzatier. Wow.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Where were you in the line of kids, are you? All this youngest. Oldest, second oldest to the youngest. So, okay, so second, oh, okay, so you're in the middle. Yes, how was the middle child? Snip you're in the middle. Yes, how was the middle child? Snip, dab in the middle. Right. Wow.
Starting point is 00:43:49 So you've seen a lot of tragedy in your life or at least that one. And that's what has, you gotta put it into the music, Scott. Yeah, you don't get hung up on these things, you gotta tell the story. And that's why I ended up picking up the guitar and telling the story, because I thought a lot of young people could relate.
Starting point is 00:44:04 And they have. So do you have young fans, the story because I thought a lot of young people could relate and they have. So do you have young fans really? Because I've never heard of you, but maybe I'm too old. My last fan just died. And that was sad, but I had it back in the day, I had a lot of fans and that's why I came. What happened to your last fan? Well, my last fan also lost his mind,
Starting point is 00:44:20 but just as a product of aging. Oh, okay. So Alzheimer's. Right, yeah, yeah. He was down, that's why I'm out. Oh, okay. So Alzheimer's. Right. He was down. That's why I'm out in California right now. I rambled out here. He was in a facility down in Orange County and I sat with him as his milky eyes looked
Starting point is 00:44:32 to the great beyond and peeped the spiritual realm and then I shoved him right off. You shoved him. I pushed him in his wheelchair, way into his room and then I Oh, I see it. You heard he died. I heard he died. Yeah, yeah. And that was, that's how I wrote the Man on Wheels. Let's hear it. Man on wheels, man on wheels, wheelin' around now how does he feel? He doesn't feel good cause he's dying, he is dying and we're all crying, dying like
Starting point is 00:45:14 Abraham, Abraham, he just died like Abraham but not late Mary time That's um that was the man on wheels you seem obsessed with Abraham Lincoln He's one of the gr- he's one of the greats. Well that that one could it could have been any Abraham It really could that and true and that's true Mike that could have been the Abraham of the Bible But then you mentioned Mary Todd. Yeah, a good could have been a Lot of Bible from context clues one of Abraham's later wives, Mary Todd. Did you know that? It was Abraham, Sarah, Heygar. Heygar, and then Wade on the line, Mary Todd.
Starting point is 00:45:51 He had 12, you know. He had 12. He had 12. That was almost like a little dundup. On the guitar, but that was a mistake. Thank you. Well, you're an incredible talent. You just wrote that right after your last fan died.
Starting point is 00:46:03 I only wish that they could have been alive. I know. Well, God rest his gentle soul. That one went out to Sergeant Barry Tomlinson. Of course, he served in two world wars and had been oh no, they so which one number one and two he yet served. So they got him back for two. They got him back for two. They got it both times. They drafted both times. Terrible. One luck-lock stroke of luck and of course he went on to serve in Korea and Vietnam as a volunteer and then they stuck him in a nursing home down there in Orange County, God you hate to see it don't get it was he upset that we haven't had a war since like I mean I obviously we've
Starting point is 00:46:38 been in Afghanistan for a while aren't we all? uh huh I understand well well largely also a surprise we haven't had a war in so long. War keeps folks singers in business. So I've always been pro-war because when wars happen, folksong's happened. Yeah, but people usually like listening to folksongs about how bad war is. How have you reconciled these things? Well, let's hear a song about war that you sung. Flowers on the grave of all the soldiers lost.
Starting point is 00:47:12 I wish this world would go a little longer. Ha ha ha ha ha! Where could we go next? Maybe somewhere east or maybe somewhere west it doesn't matter oh hey oh hey ma'am you had the best one war of all okay you liked the Civil War well the Civil War a skyd I thought was a really that that was a war where a lot of these songs came from
Starting point is 00:47:47 And you know when you have a war happening you think heck I could write a million songs about that and yeah I have written songs about every war since I was born. How many songs do you think you're written? Oh gosh I've written I think we've heard for probably about seven minutes So if we do the math since I started writing I'd say there's probably a 15,000 song. Oh, and they're amazing. Yeah, thank you. Okay. Wow.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Well, I understand you have one last song to take us out. One last song to take us out. It's a commercial. To commercial. And Scott, this one goes out to, this one goes out to all the folks down there in Orange County who have claimed that my beautiful Maryanne, for some reason her disappearance has something to do with me. I would say it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:48:33 Wait, the police are involved. The authorities are involved. Two of them called them police these days. God, I call them the bulls. They've always been against the folks scene. And you like that about that. I like it. I liked it when the cops came through and beat us down a few times because it gave us something
Starting point is 00:48:47 to sing about. It gave us something to sing about. Like war. Yeah. Okay, so go ahead and sing this song. This is Glenn Papelinger. This is one of his newest tracks and this goes out to all the people in Orange County who have accused him of Mary Ann's disappearance.
Starting point is 00:49:15 I just met her, I just married her, I just found her in the ditch. That is where she ended up by not talking cuz I ain't no stitch nitch Oh these policemen policemen leave me alone I'm leaving tonight On the top of a train run right away I'll see you in New York City the next time that you catch me. That one's got, that one needs some work, doesn't it Scott? That one's really awesome. Well there's no Abraham Lincoln mentioned at all. I'm sorry, I should have thrown that in there at the end.
Starting point is 00:49:58 I mean, yeah, I'm like honesty. Never told a lie. Chop down a cherry tree just like my wife would die. I'm like honesty never told a lie Chop down a cherry tree just like my wife would die Yeah, so I mean what I noticed is you've told the authorities exactly where to find her and how you murdered her You know Scott. I can't stop the muse when the muse comes to calling please don't stop the muse Just like a rian one said, but then she went on and said, ik right afterwards.
Starting point is 00:50:28 That's right. Yeah. Well, it's wonderful to be with you all. Oh no, you're wrapping up. Oh, I thought I was supposed to do that. No, I will. I don't mean to leave you hanging out there. We do need to take a break.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Glenn Clapinger. Clapinger. Clapinger, sorry. We also have Mike Kaplan. When we come back, a critic will be here. This is a very tight packed show. Tight packed. Incredible.
Starting point is 00:50:49 You can stick around. I'll try it as long as I don't see the blue lights on the horizon. Okay, wonderful. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- How many bang bang were back Mike Kaplan is here live from the universe is his Special out there approximately how long is this special? It's about a half hour 60 This one they just that's very I have a why don't you just deliver it in 60
Starting point is 00:51:18 They they were the ones who recorded it and you just be like hey here's another 60 Another 30 for the 60. Do another one at another time. I got other things coming. That's the thing, why everyone puts out these hours. Put out half hours, that way you get paid twice. It's true. You fucking idiots.
Starting point is 00:51:35 Don't like that. And Glenn Plappinger is here, of course. And you've been fielding calls furiously. Yeah, my phone's blowing up as the kids say, I guess this is already... What is kids he's talking about? It's hit the airwaves, Scott, I think they're liking these tunes and wow, the NFTs are flying out. No, it's coming out for a while actually. Oh, this isn't lying.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Oh, wow, wow, well, something's... Who are the records? Who's been calling you on your phone? Oh, these are actually sales of of the new PFT the new PFT Fungible yeah, yeah, yeah, plap and your fungible token. Oh Yeah, there may be a comedian that you need to talk to to clear those initials But could be my agent
Starting point is 00:52:20 Monnie Pervians he also is a one of those guys who's always trying to get me out there and never does. Monnie Pervians. Yeah. All right, well we need to get to our next guest. She is a critic. I, again, do not know what she's criticizing, but we'll talk to her about that. Please welcome Candle St. Louis. Uh, hi. Hi.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hello. Hello. Thank you for having me. Yeah, wonderful to have you.
Starting point is 00:52:43 This is Mike. Hi. A pleasure. A pleasure. And you. Yeah wonderful to have you. This is Mike. Hi a pleasure a pleasure and Glenn How do you do hello? I'm actually familiar with both of your works already do kiss her chin It was very wet Way too wet. Sorry. That's a sometimes a little bit of the honey gets in my beard Are you out there? You're just searching through beehives? What is going on?
Starting point is 00:53:06 Well, something to keep the vocal cords nice and limber is milk and honey. Put it in the jar, shake it up, and that's battle A. Wonderful. All right. Well, a candle. What an interesting name. Oh, thank you. St. Louis.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Uh, were you named after where you were born or what was lighting the room? No, I was one of those. I had those parents that let you pick your own name. Oh, and on my first birthday I saw a candle and so I named myself candle. Oh, was it the candle in your birthday cake? No. Oh, it was a different candle. Different candle, yes. What was special about this candle?
Starting point is 00:53:39 I don't know, it was just on the table, it was lit. Yeah. Okay, I don't know. Yeah. I was I don't know. Yeah. I was like, is that unsafe? Was it in a candle holder? No.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Candelabra? It was a candle, yes, a candle labra. I need to name yourself Candelabra. Huh. Good note. Good critique, if you will. Oh, man, this is so much, oh, I mean, this is your game. You are a critic.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Yes, thank you. So you know good criticism when you hear it. What exactly do you criticize? Where do you, where do you, are you a So you know good criticism when you hear it. What exactly do you criticize? Where do you where do you are you a writer? Critic are you yes? Well, I may the world's first and only one word critic So I just review everything in one word. I started with movies. I've never heard of this before But I guess if you're paid by the word, this is a terrible job day No, but paid very handsomely, but for just the one word. I started with movies and then I
Starting point is 00:54:26 moved on to sort of like whatever. How much money do you make? Like $750,000 a year. A year? My word. Yeah. My word. My word. Yeah. Well, it's just really popular. Oh, okay. Well, what is it? Is it arts or what do you criticize? Well, like movies, arts, people, music. I hope you're a music. Yeah. You said you've heard our work? Yes, of course, yes. Oh, OK.
Starting point is 00:54:55 And when you criticize people, what word do you normally use? Well, it depends on the person. That's a good point. There's so many words. Yeah, exactly. Wow. Do you own a dictionary? And you just like, put it open to a page and just There's so many words. Yeah, exactly. Wow. Do you own a dictionary and you just like, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:06 put it open to a page and just point down at one thing? And that's what you... My Thastaurus turns to like dust, basically, every year. I use it so much. Wow, incredible. Do you recycle the dust or... No. Is it just around your house?
Starting point is 00:55:19 It just around my house. Sweep it out, put it in the ash can. Yeah, sometimes, but mostly just there. Interesting. Interesting. Well, can, but mostly it's just there. Interesting. Yeah. Well, can we hear one of these reviews possibly? Right, so I'm famous for my review of Titanic. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:55:34 My one more review was Boat. Huh. I guess I might, did you ever see the movie Titanic? I have seen Titanic. It's the one where obviously our good friend, friend Brockloved is in it. Yep, of course. Or what's his name Bill plays him.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Yes. A fictionalized version of him in it. Sure. You know what I'm talking about, obviously when I say all that. 100%. And boat is your review? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Went down the year that I was born. You know 19 oh 19 13 19 13 is when you were born. I think this is it's a very subversive review because I was your dad left when you were pretty old No need to be the the the math Scott it was more of a story less than 110 years I've performed on a cruise ship twice in my life. Oh. And I would call it a boat.
Starting point is 00:56:27 And sometimes they'd be like, it's not a boat. It's a ship. It's a ship. Yeah. And I don't know. And watercraft. In Titanic, exactly. A space water.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Yeah. And avatar. And but you're saying boat, the word boat, when the in Titanic, Titanic, we call it a ship. But boat. I thought it pretty much the... In Titanic, Titanic. We call it a ship, but boat. I thought it pretty much summed it up. Yeah, yeah. And you say you're famous for that one?
Starting point is 00:56:50 Yes, famous. And that's what got me the job at the New Yorker. Oh, you're the critic for the New Yorker? Yeah, the one word critic for the New Yorker. Okay. Do they put a lot of other words around it, so it's not just a big empty page, or is it? No, it's expensive, so it's just like the one word.
Starting point is 00:57:04 It has my little photo with my name and then it's my one word review. Right. Not. Boat. And people liked that. Yeah, they did. I mean, I was a very successful high school bully.
Starting point is 00:57:15 That's how I sort of knew I'd be able to do this. How does one become a success at that? Is that in quantity or quality of the bully? Both. It's sort of the measure is how many teachers you get to quit. Oh, so you were bullying the teachers? Both, yeah, students, teachers, anyone. Anyone who came across your path?
Starting point is 00:57:31 Both, yeah. Both. Both. Exactly, yes. Oh, okay. And how many teachers quit under your purview? About 40. 40 teachers over the course of your higher education
Starting point is 00:57:43 or, and lower, I would imagine lower I would imagine exactly like 10 a year Yes, like one a month. Yeah exactly one a month really Yeah, I would not when I was a freshman. There was a teacher and he gave me a B and I called him I called him invisible and then he never came back So you're you're critiques and bullying of your teachers were one word as well. It sounds like the real scourge of the yearbook. And you called him invisible. Yes. And then he sort of had this vacant look in his face.
Starting point is 00:58:14 I knew I had said just the right word. Are you sure you're not magic and you say one word and they become that? You're an oracle. And you just disappear. I never even thought about that. Maybe. Because maybe the movie Titanic didn't exist. And it wasn't about a boat sinking until you said the word boat. Huh. That's really trippy. I'm super high right now. I know. Yeah. Sort of a lot. Maybe. I before this. So it might have been about. It's a podcast.
Starting point is 00:58:37 It's making it fun. Nathan Fielder and Jessalnik and Eugene Merman, the Titanic of comedy. Mmm. That's right. Yes. So you're successful at bullying people with one word, and that's translated into your job. Exactly, yes. Interesting. What are some of your other reviews if you don't mind me? Well, I reviewed Soeson Kane, and I said Rose Bud.
Starting point is 00:58:57 I've reviewed several of your albums, so it's so nice to see you in person. Really? I don't read reviews. I never read reviews, what I always say say but I would love to hear one of the words you listen to them I listen to them on record I saw one I think one was knife knife yeah knife is oh that's the yeah that that makes sense that checks out we at the New Yorker trying to figure out if you're a murderer a ghost or both well you know I've been reading the New Yorker since
Starting point is 00:59:22 1942 when Pinky Lowenstein used to run the reviews and she would come down there and You know come come down in there into the village and give reviews of it really you were 30 years old woman named after the most racist finger and Also, I have a different times. If I remember correctly the magazine used to be called the new Amsterdamer Exactly that's back in the old days when the reviews were long and the substance was little. And I have a feeling you've turned that on a tip. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:59:50 People don't have a lot of time to read reviews now. So I've noticed that it's not even like you're reviewing or criticizing them as much as you're encapsulating them. Well, sort of, but some of them have like a spin or an opinion of them. Like what? Like sticky. Or. And what is that, but some of them have like a spinner and opinion to them like sticky or What is that what the review of that was a review of the departed?
Starting point is 01:00:13 Okay, interesting sticky because when I went to go see it in theaters the floor was like oh, oh So you're reviewing your own experience. Yes, but that's my experience. I'm like the common man. Like my experience is the experience. Right, right. Interesting. Love the common man. Well, singular man. You mean the man.
Starting point is 01:00:34 Right. You love the man. The common man. The one big man at the top. Yeah. And people like, people like these. You're famous for them. So people like these.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Well, people's attention span is so short these days. People don't want to say. That's a joke. OK, well, now you're going to get a better review for me than. Oh, wait, you're reviewing me? Yes, of course. I'm going to review this experience at the end in one word. No, nervous.
Starting point is 01:00:58 No, you're doing great. This is going to be great. Oh, OK. What do you think it would be if you had to review it right now? Sticky. I'm sorry, the floor sticky? Yeah, just a little bit sticky. So that's what I'm going for.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Have you ever thought that maybe your shoes are sticky? From this movie you went to and you've just never cleaned them off? I'm a little bit high right now, so that's sort of hard to handle. I had a button of drugs earlier. A button of drugs? Don't hug a cactus. Could be from my sticky little jar of milk and honey here that I put on the floor right by your chair. Sorry about that. I thought this was going
Starting point is 01:01:30 to be awkward because I've never reviewed one of your albums favorably but it's good to do. Yeah. Like one I said Abraham Lincoln for one of the words. What are two words? Well, is it though if you don't put a space between them? It's a good question. It's a good point. I can offer briefly, like a hashtag. I went to school for linguistics. Oh, really? I took a class called morphology, which is essentially the study. So is that about that incredible technique that James Cameron invented for movies like
Starting point is 01:02:00 The Abyss and Terminator 2 Rise of the Machine? It's exactly that. The morphing technology used in Michael Jackson's black or white video. That's correct. I'm just a black hand white. But the joke people made about him was he was both, but the song was, it doesn't matter if you're.
Starting point is 01:02:17 That's right. It doesn't matter if you're black and white. Also works. If I were him, I would have stayed away from the whole thing. Yeah. But he was not one to shy away from controversy was, but he was not one to shy away from controversy. Was he, but you are one to shy away from controversy? I hate if you're triggered out there with me talking about this kind of stuff, but that's just my comedy.
Starting point is 01:02:32 But well, let's get back to Candle St. Louis. Of course. Have you cleaned off your shoes? I noticed you took a rag to them. Yeah, I'm getting higher by the minute too. Really panicking over here. Why are you getting higher? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:02:44 You know, are you taking ingesting more and more buttons of drugs? Yeah, I thought that would help. It happens. Over the course of time, you don't know. It continues to release in your system. Yeah. I'm sorry. Is there anything we can do to calm you, to soothe you?
Starting point is 01:02:57 I stop spinning, I think. I don't think that's me doing it, but maybe I could spin counterclockwise. And that way it would even itself out if we try I go the wrong way I'll go I'm terrible Okay, now you're really sticky. Yes sticky feeling sticky. Yeah, yeah, oh, man So you are high as a kite right now,
Starting point is 01:03:26 which on a windy day, that can get pretty high. Yes. Am I a kite? No, I'm a human woman. Never mind, sorry. We need to talk her down. I have a quick question. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Since you said, Abraham Lincoln, which I do think it can be one word. Regardless of whether you put a base in it. We have more fallowage. Or not, yes. So the question of like, cranberry is a word made of two more themes, cran and berry.
Starting point is 01:03:49 Is it a compound? No, that's not. No, a compound word is usually where there's two words that are words by themselves. Yeah. And then they come together. Like bendable. I don't know if that's also.
Starting point is 01:04:00 That's also. It's two words. You got to admit, bangle and bangle. You're absolutely right. But yeah, so I guess my question is what's the longest word that has been one word that you've maybe taken spaces out and put them all together Yes, it was pages and pages Those three words pages and pages. That's not even as long as Abraham Lincoln No, but it is three words combined into one
Starting point is 01:04:24 It's a good point. I mean, it's longer in that sense. My first review of Comedy Bang Bang, I had a lot to say. Oh, you've reviewed it before? I haven't seen it before. I check it every couple years. Do a new review. Yeah. A lot of you? Yeah. That's, I mean, so seven times or so? Yeah, one was just PFT, so not even a full word. Yeah, for a plappinger, so not even a full word. Oh, okay, yeah, for a plop and your fungical token.
Starting point is 01:04:45 Yeah. Yeah, one was just Scott, one was Rambling, one was Knife, one was Sticky. You Sticky, what? Thumbs, yes. Thumbs, yes. Right, Rambling, wow. Mm-hmm. I, that's very flattering to know you've been checking in on it.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Oh, yes, correct. So, now you're on the other side, you are now a guest, and you have a conflict of interest, I think, now. You probably can't review this particular episode. I just might. Because you don't get it. So you don't get it about conflicts. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:05:17 I really, what is it called? Integrity? Journalistic integrity. I don't like subscribe to that way of thinking. That would be incredible if someone's in a play and also- Reviewed that very simply. Yeah, see this is Broadway shows should just cast reviewers.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Yes. In their shows, then they get the best reviews ever and their massive hits. I mean, and Castoni award voters. Yes. This is the most successful Broadway show of all time. But here, if there are any Broadway producers out there listening, I know there's at least one.
Starting point is 01:05:51 This is the pathway, pathway, pathway. And pathway. And pathway. No, but that's a compound word. Oh, yes, that's the list. That's the list. But I think also, it would be. It's hard to scream pathway right now.
Starting point is 01:06:02 No, you have no idea what I'm saying. I liked it a lot. Pathway, pathway, pathway. Yeah, I like it even more now. And it's like when a director is also the actor in the movie and the director is directing themself. So it would be just like that. A reviewer reviewing themself, I think is no different.
Starting point is 01:06:18 I've never seen a director direct themselves in a movie and been hard on themselves. Like you, God damn it. Like doing 116 times like a adventure. Come on, you can't get it this right. What are you doing? Yeah. Scott, you said something that is accidentally
Starting point is 01:06:32 very offensive to critics, which is that we're jealous that the subjects that we're criticizing are making something and we're just complaining about the thing that they're doing. I don't think I said anything of the sport. But it sounds like you're not getting a nerd. No, no, I think you said that literally. It sounds familiar.
Starting point is 01:06:49 And I just wanted to say, yes, I tried to be famous in my own right. Like, yes, I tried. How did you try to be famous? Because from what I recall, your pathway to success was starting out as a bully and then you became a critic. Yes, well, I also just simultaneously, I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to be I also just simultaneously, I wanted to be like an artist. I wanted to be a singer and dancer.
Starting point is 01:07:08 I wanted to be famous, but then I- His dad was a choreographer. Oh, right. All town, then we made it to the big city of New York. We made it there. We did make it, we did. Never consciously. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.
Starting point is 01:07:20 And that's a good comment on the US rail system. That's right. What was I saying? You were saying that you tried to be an artist yourself and done. Yes, but that was boring and stupid and dumb. So I didn't fail and I just was bored, yes, exactly. I was boring, so now I'm a critic. Have you ever heard the expression, physician heal thyself?
Starting point is 01:07:41 I would like to make it analogous to your profession and say, critic, criticize thyself. I would like to make it analogous to your profession and say, critic criticize thyself. Why don't you do one of your one-word criticisms of your own criticism? Or even critique. Okay, so should I am I critiquing myself or critiquing the critique that I'm about to critique. I'll take it. They were him like it. I like it. Your eyes lit up. You got
Starting point is 01:08:11 I think I see dollars. I'm on your eyes. That's a pupil. Heck of a critique. That's that's the old, uh, you know, it did remind me when you said you were a, um, uh, linguist. Is that right? That's right.
Starting point is 01:08:24 You ever heard a gnome chomsky? I have heard that guy's a bastard, but he was a young, he was a young man. did remind me when you said you were a linguist, does that right? That's right. You ever heard of Noam Chomsky? I have heard. That guy's a bastard, but he was a young kid kicking around the village when I started first singing. And he's a linguist, isn't he? He was like the original linguist. He was the OG linguist.
Starting point is 01:08:38 Yeah, he was like what Freud was to psychology. Chomsky was to linguists. No one had ever thought about words before. Not a bit. And I wonder what a old gnome Chomsky would say about that review. Abraham Lincoln, that's a good one because I bet he would say he likes it.
Starting point is 01:08:53 And you know him the most. I do. I know him as a kid. You used to hang out with as a kid. He was a kid. He was a dormant. You were about 60 years old. With Joe Biden, he and Joe Biden used to kick it
Starting point is 01:09:03 around the village and well, you know Did people make fun of him because his name sounds like eating eating eating? It's like numb numb numb chomp chomp chomp Yeah, exactly. It's like come on. Hey man. Look you're making me hungry any time I hear from you Exactly and then that's why he got into linguistics I believe to say like that's not what these words mean Yeah, it actually is a name. Yeah, and I'm a famous guy now name Chomsky. Yeah Then we're like, okay, we need to go back to linguist school. Yes. Exactly. A quick thing also earlier, you just reminded me
Starting point is 01:09:30 when I was doing this workshop for these seven to 12-year-olds, one of them asked me the question, how long does it take to become a famous? Yeah. And how long does it take you, by the way, Mike? Because you mentioned winning this competition in 2006 Then I know just five years later you're on comedy bang bang. Yeah, I so I think it took five years Took me a long longer than that didn't it? Well, you didn't even get started in your 50s, right? And then here I am so I don't nion nion decades to before before I got here You're great. Thank you. I appreciate that. Just milk and honey.
Starting point is 01:10:06 That's all I eat. I think you should have stuck with the tin cup boys. I love their album. Really? Are they still coming out with stuff? I haven't checked in with them for a few years. They're amazing. They're rich.
Starting point is 01:10:16 Really? Their cup is not tin anymore. It's golden. Really? Did they change their name? Yeah. Was golden your review? Mm-hmm. The golden Did they change their name? Yeah. Was golden your review? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:10:26 Yeah. The golden cup full of the balloons? Yes. What do they go by now? Is it still teen cup boys? Did they change their name? That's the question I just asked. Oh, thank you, Scott.
Starting point is 01:10:35 I'm hosting them. It's like that. First you want to take us to break and now you're hosting? That's right. This is my podcast. I'm sorry, I never left. I've never done a podcast before, so I thought, why not drive the train just like my father did all the way to New York. He didn't necessarily
Starting point is 01:10:50 drive unless he's pretending to be sad on top of a box. I work up well, I think the fellows on top of that train sat him right up. And sometimes they thought, Hey, wouldn't it be funny if he was driving, but was he turning an imaginary invisible wheel and sort of honking in an invisible horn? Had he spent the time on the way all the way from Ohio to New York, Scott, you got to do bits. You got to do gags and they would prop my father up on an old barrel and say he's driving the train. Did he have a spindle?
Starting point is 01:11:14 He did have a spindle at a spindle full of dance belts. One for every day of the week. That's delightful. Does a train have a wheel? Is there a wheel like in a car? Who knows? Too high for that. Mm.
Starting point is 01:11:28 There's a train have a wheel. I did have a song about that. Does the train have a wheel? Who's driving this train? Mm. Uh. Does the train have a wheel? Does the train have a wheel?
Starting point is 01:11:38 What are you trying to ask? Like, does it have a steering wheel? Oh, a steering wheel. I thought you meant wheels like, of course they have wheels. No, no, no. Like, steering the train. Does the person who does that have a steering wheel? Oh, a steering wheel. I thought you meant wheels, like, of course they have wheels. No, no, no. Like, steering the train does the person who does that have a whole lot of fun. I know he's got a big shovel, right?
Starting point is 01:11:51 And he's constantly feeding coal into the fire. He's got a big whistle as well. Yeah, around his neck. He's a little hat. He's the one who makes that full of ripenoy. Yeah. The referee is driving the train. The train conductors and reveries are very similar. They all have striped hats
Starting point is 01:12:07 Mm-hmm. They should just maybe they do the same thing on their off-hours. You know what I mean? They all take tickets. They all call fouls Foul on the train That's what you can't do that. No sit there. Put your suitcase up up above Foul you didn't bring a ticket. Yeah. You didn't bring a ticket. Fowl. Well, I got a second, old viewer. You're a very interesting person and I hope you give me a good review. Interesting. Is that the review? No, I'm just saying like,
Starting point is 01:12:40 if you had to give a one word critique of me, what would it be? And be honest. Hi. You definitely need very very high. Whoa. Uh, petulant naive? I don't know. Huh. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. I'd say nice.
Starting point is 01:12:58 To share. By the way, all those milk and honey jars, I see like a little bit of metallic just sheen underneath it. Did you bring a knife to this podcast? Well, the metallic sheen is I put a dose a little bit of mercury and a little bit of lead. With this one killed your fucking there. But it also kept him interesting, Scott. He was an interesting guy. I mean, I give him that. That's right. Travel to New York City by just sitting on top of a train car with a bindle full of seven dance belts, one for every day of the week.
Starting point is 01:13:28 That's right. And so you can't ride a folk song if you don't have some interesting tales to tell. And that's why I put a little bit of Mercury, not enough to kill me, just enough to keep my head and nice and loose. That's a good point. And my skin, a beautiful blue tone.
Starting point is 01:13:40 You do, I didn't want to say this, but speaking of James Cameron, you look a lot like the avatar people. What do you call them, the Navi? Yeah. Sure. I have never seen a movie.
Starting point is 01:13:50 I had last movie. I had never seen a movie. I had never seen a talkie. Last movie I saw with words in it must have been, oh, Casablanca or something like that. Oh, okay. You don't like talkies? Did you see the jazz singer? And you were like, not for me.
Starting point is 01:14:05 That's right. Although I'm sure you liked the guy in black face. Were you there when they showed the movie of the trade and everyone ran screaming? What's movie was that? You know what? The first one. Oh, the first one.
Starting point is 01:14:16 Yeah. Oh, the first movie of the- Were you the guy who started screaming? Scream. That's what killed your dad? Well, we called that movie Scream. Interesting. Because of your reaction.
Starting point is 01:14:24 Right. That's right. Everybody went screaming right out of the theater. So you said scream. Interesting. Because of your reaction. Right. That's right. Everybody went screaming right out of the theatre. So you said Scream. So you called the train movie. So would you call movies just based on the audience reaction? So this one was laughed. That's what I did.
Starting point is 01:14:34 That's right, but what I did was. You were the first one-word reviewer. Well, how do you like that? No, no, no, no, no, it's me. That's a tale to tell. It's a tale to tell. You're getting defensive. Depensive is maybe the word I'm supposed to say. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no by the Tink-Up. Interesting group. Next time we should get them on the show. Really should, Scott. Really should. Well, look, we are running out of time.
Starting point is 01:15:08 I hate to say that, but we only have time for one final feature on the show. And that is, of course, a little something called plug. Gzzzz. Who are they single and finally here? If we listen really close and answer me up here. Open up. Open up. Open up.
Starting point is 01:15:24 What the plug's first are those of the speakers and they not necessarily reflect the views or positions of comedy bang bang. Okay, that was closing the plug back by Lot Ha Ha. Okay. That was fun. That was fun. I enjoyed that. Alright guys, what do we plug in?
Starting point is 01:15:41 Mike, obviously, we have your special live from the universe. Yes, and people can download this dry bar comedy app. Yeah, and it will just be the only time they ever use it Well, they watch your thing and then you throw it away. Good. Be I recommend never heard. Yeah. Oh, yeah No, it's been around for some years now Yeah, and you can use the promo code on their website drivebar comedy.omedy.com. The promo code, Mike Kaplan spelled my weird way, NYQ, K-A-A-P-L-A-N, Mike Kaplan. And that will get you a free month. Oh, okay. And do you think it'll take a month
Starting point is 01:16:12 to watch your special? I don't, if you watch it like a minute a day, you should be fine. Yeah, yeah. And that's how I recommend doing it. And then I do have my newest albums that are available where albums are, I recall, AKA, that's what I was last on,
Starting point is 01:16:25 promoting when I was here, and I more recently released a previous album, more widely, it's very confusing, not to get into it, but it's called Live in Between albums. That is an album that I released. In between? Live in between albums. Okay, I recorded it in between two other albums,
Starting point is 01:16:40 and so I put it out and called it that. And your book, Heartbrain Art Train, I already say the word train around you guys. Oh, it's okay. It's a vehicle and an implement a death. Yes. Okay. Yes, that is available. Go to my website and my social media,
Starting point is 01:16:54 which is all at Mike Kaplan. And I think the best way to get things from me if you want them is my sub-stack newsletter, which is Mike Kaplan.substack. You are really diversifying. I love to see your revenue streams. Oh, sure. Incredible.
Starting point is 01:17:09 All right. Kendall St. Louis, what are we plugging here? A two podcast to plug sitcom D&D and Hey Riddle Riddle. So check those out wherever you find podcasts. Hey Riddle Riddle is a fun name. Yeah, thank you. Like the children's poem. What's the theme of the podcast riddles?
Starting point is 01:17:26 That makes it great podcast. Oh really? You're your podcast. I love podcast. I never know the podcast love to listen never seen a movie since Screen one So you were you went entertainment list for Decades just songs just songs songs, but hey, music is your life. And speaking of your life, Glenn Paplinger, what are you plugging? Well, Scott, I'd like to plug mega, the podcast, and a new little mini-series they're doing over there
Starting point is 01:17:54 called The Rise and Fall of Twin Hills, which is a sort of hybrid, improvised, true crime documentary that's taking place in the world of the podcast. Wow. Kind of an interesting thing. Hey, mega, I believe that I was on that show. You did guest on that show as an intimacy coordinator for a really good nativity package.
Starting point is 01:18:13 For the nativity package, a real classic move. Really, really fun. So yeah, we were just, where do people get it? It's Meg. You can Meg on any of the things that you listen to mega the podcast.com And it's called Ryzenfall of twin hills. It's episode three just came out. Okay Incredible and I want to plug of course Comedy bang bang the podcast the book is still out there and
Starting point is 01:18:40 It's a perfect opportunity to get it I don't know why this mix it's a perfect opportunity to get it. I don't know why this makes it so perfect. Good review. But you can't get it. And you can get all the links to buying it over at CBBWorld.com slash book. And while you're at CBB World, you can get wonderful shows over there, shows like CBB Presents, where we have shows like Hey Randy with Randy Snuts,
Starting point is 01:19:08 and this book changed my life with Lily Sullivan, as well as Who Me, starring the Batman with the Batman. And we just did Hines, I'm Prov to Meet You, where Will Hines teaches guests from this show, Improv. So many great shows over there, plus Scott hasn't seen. College Town, ad-free episodes of this show, as well as all the archives.
Starting point is 01:19:31 All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Yeah. At least we got O-no in there. Come on, let's take a new one. Oh, doors are made for closing. We take them up and shut them tight And then doors are made for lucky So we take our, take our, take our key
Starting point is 01:19:58 Open up the blood bag Open up the blood bag Oh my God, oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Open up the flood bag. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Open up the flood bag. All right, that was plug it on by King Love Duck Electricity. Thank you so much. If you have a closing or opening plug bag theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs. And guys, I want to thank you so much, Mike. Always a pleasure to see you.
Starting point is 01:20:24 Thank you so much. Thank you so much for returning for this sequel to your seminal episode. Oh yeah. And really sorry about my laugh. No need to apologize to my good fellow. I hope I have not ruined your life. No no I think my my life is mainly making other people laugh so this is you know it's fine for my laugh to not. You never hear that Pogliacci joke where it's like a guy goes to the doctor and goes like, Hey, Doc, I'm feeling sad and the doctor goes, get the fuck out of here. I got you. You know, that's, I haven't heard it that way, but it's sort of like the aristocrats.
Starting point is 01:20:53 Yeah, I guess. I like that where you can tell it everyone. Yeah, in fact, on my album, A.K.A, there is a reference to that. I have a joke about that joke. At least a rig for the Pogliacci hit the, that's right, the Pog heads. joke. At least a rig for the Pogley. That's right. The Pog heads. I want to thank you, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Candle St. Louis. Uh, it's, uh, how are you doing? You're sweating so much right now.
Starting point is 01:21:13 I'm coming down hard. Like a kid landing on cement. I, oh, no, is this gonna affect your review? Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Feels like it. Um, I would say, I I'd give I'd say the show is good. Okay. Oh, thank you so much. I feel like a good review. Yeah, it's a good review. Good is the enemy of great, of course. And then Glenn Papelinger. Thanks so much for being here, Scott.
Starting point is 01:21:39 Stop hosting. I see you picking up your guitar, though. Are you you have a song to take us out? Is that what you're, uh, yes, I do. Scott, well, is there something that you wanted to hear since you're a fan of, of course? Is there, was there any sort of topic you wanted to cover or just hit the, hit the ramp? I want to hear about your mother. She, uh, she was a makeup artist, of course. Yeah, makeup artist. How do you even play it? So sticky from all the money. It is. Sticky. I've got honey. Well, Well, the mercury cuts through the honey so that it, let's see, oh, song about my mother.
Starting point is 01:22:09 So song about your mother, you know, the maker part. This is a glad papalto. Here we go. Let's take it out. Mother, you used to paint the faces of the dead. All those pretty corpses down at the city more And one day they said there's one more face to paint they said It's your darling husband, they found him on the train
Starting point is 01:22:36 Paint the faces of the dead The faces of the dead, it's your darling baby boy You paint the faces of the dead There's a 13 more verses guy, but I'm afraid I don't have time. I see the blue lights flashing over here. Oh, no, yeah, I'm sorry the cops are here. I called them. I hope that's alright. Thank you, Scott. Thank you so much. I mean, you said she did his makeup. I didn't know that it was after he was dead for the funeral. Okay, we'll see you next time. Thanks bye.

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