Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Paul F. Tompkins, Ego Nwodim, Matt Apodaca

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

Podcast co-host Ted Newguy joins Scott to talk about his false crime podcast Murder Was Wrote, Sesame Street, and waterpark buffets. Then, dancer Stormy Kirkland stops by to talk about being a valet dancer. Plus, concerned citizen Ricky Johnson returns to talk about how he got out of his time loop.

Slap my ass and call me Sally, my favorite maps are Rand McNally. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, thank you to Tim for that catchphrase submission, Tim. On the new CBWorld.com slash plugs catchphrase submissions we say what, how would you like to be referred to and it's just Tim. Thank you Tim, really appreciate that catchphrase submission and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. We have a great show for you today, coming up a little later we have a dancer, we also have a concerned citizen and my name is Scott Ackerman and welcome to the show.

Before we get to them I have someone I'm gonna bring on first and it says here he is a co-host. That's interesting this show has never had a co-host before but maybe he's a co-host for another show like Matt Gorley is to that Conan O'Brien show or Andy Richter was to that Conan O'Brien show. Let's bring him on, please welcome Ted Newgey. Hey Scott, thank you. Hey, it's so great to meet you. It's so great to meet you too.

Ted Newgey. Yeah, Ted Newgey. How do you spell your last name? N-E-W-G-U-Y and you're right, I am a co-host. You're a co-host. I am not obviously the co-host of your show. Oh you're not, okay good. I was worried there was some sort of shake up from corporate going on.

I am the co-host. You're not going to even just, you're not going to acknowledge anything I say, you're just going to barrel ahead. What did you say? This is what I'm talking about. I'm so sorry. You're in your head right now. I'm a little nervous because I'm used to being on my podcast that I co-host and so

I'm not. What is your podcast? Do you mind if I ask? It's called Murder Was Wrote and it is a false crime podcast. False crime. Yes. I guess I've never heard of, I've heard of pre-crime obviously from Minority Report. I don't know if you've ever seen that movie.

It's on my list but I haven't seen it. Colin Farrell from Banshee's and then Sheeran is in that movie. Call in Farrell? Call it, yeah it's not like a call in show. Like some, I don't know if your podcast is a call in show. He's a call in Farrell. You do have calls, yes. So it's call in but be Farrell?

If you're going to call in, please speak Farrell. You know this is a gentleman, this is a, any truly is a gentleman. I've never seen him not in a tux. Now I've only seen him on the Oscars. Oh, you've never seen him in a movie that he's been acting in? No, I have not. I know him as a celebrity who was on the Oscars once. He does not play James Bond although he might, I cannot say what people do in their personal

lives. Oh, that's a good point. Have you ever played James Bond? Oh, I'd rather not say on a microphone. Painted your girlfriend gold? We don't get into, oh no, that's a very sad story. Oh, what is a sad story? Well, you know that young lady, her skin suffocated to death.

Yes, she's dead now. You're supposed to leave a patch of skin. That's right, yes. Instead, and a lot of people don't know when they're watching that movie, Goldfinger, is that what it was called? Yes, Goldfinger. When they're watching Goldfinger, it's a snuff film because that woman died right on camera. That's a snuff film, yes, and it did win an award at the Snuffies and nobody showed up

to collect, obviously. The Snuffleupigus, does he host that every year? They have, they've made their own Snuffleupigus-like creature so they don't get sued. What kind of creature is it? I don't know, if I were tasked with making a Snuffleupigus-like creature, I don't know that I could do it because he's akin to an elephant, is he not? Well, I think to a willy mammoth. True, but no tusks.

None taken. Thank you very much. Who's to say, though, that Snuffleupigus did have tusks at one point, but when he moved to the city, that he lost them to fight? Or maybe they cut them off and sold them for the ivory. Maybe ivory poachers came and he was taking a nap. It's really a shame because they probably did a special episode of Sesame Street and they didn't talk about it.

You say Sesame Street? I guess I do, I didn't realize that. Most people say Sesame Street and, in fact, in the theme song, they say it. Let's start from the beginning. Come and play, wasting the day away. That's by the way. If you're already wasting the day away, you're having fun. Why do you need to go down to Sesame Street?

Well, because if you're wasting the day away, maybe you're not being, like, play it's constructive. It is constructive, but I would think that it would be a better theme song if it was You've had a hard day or come and play. You've had a hard day, you ought to go down to Sesame Street. Take me to Sesame Street. Oh, Gozer. Gozer. Who are you saying?

Paul Gosar? Who are you thinking of? Oh, I'm thinking of the Ghostbusters guy. You're thinking of Hosea. Hosea. Yes. Hosea. Wait, you think a Ghostbusters guy was Gozer?

Oh, that's right. Gozer the Keymaster. The Keymaster. That's right. Do you like that movie? I love it. I love horror movies, and I remember seeing that movie and just people, I like to go to the movies to feel and.

And also to see things and to hear things. Well, that's where you're. Do you only go to the 4D movies where they spray perfume on you? I wear a night mask and I put on headphones like the kind you could use at the airport. Oh, I see. To guide planes. So I just feel things. Are you guiding planes while you're watching movies or?

Yeah, sometimes in my mind, if the movie's boring, have they ever gone where you tried to guide them to? Well, in my mind? Yeah, sure. Sure. Okay. 100 percent success rate. But you ever look at the paper the next day and go, oh, this plane ended up there in

the where the planes ended up sectioned. Why won't they print that? Why won't they print that? You know, they have a bridge game in there. Why don't they have. Horoscopes. Horoscopes. Come on.

Tell us where the planes ended up the next day. Come on. Horoscopes are not for real. Yeah, and the planes are real as far as we know. As far as I know. That's right. But you know what? They could be talking about, since they won't print in the newspaper, they could be talking

about these planes doing who knows what and we wouldn't know we're not keeping track of every plane. We have no idea. And I want a printed record of these. Okay. When Southwest had all those problems. Yeah. I was like, is that true?

Did that really happen? We don't know. Yeah. Because I didn't know anyone personally affected by it. No. So I thought, I bet it didn't happen. No. It's all secondhand information.

Exactly. I don't think anyone has ever met. It's all secondhand news. It's all secondhand news. Come and play. You had a hard day. Don't you weigh about 130 pounds. Oh, we had different lyrics.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought the person that. I was a smaller child, I think, than you. Right. No, I was under 35 pounds when I was five years old. I was under 35 pounds. Yeah, that's too big.

Yeah, I was a big boy. And now, how much are you running? I shopped in the Husky section. Yeah. How much are you running now? 136. So you gained one pound from five years old? To now.

Wow. Yeah. I really, I just stretched out. I just stretched out. I'm 6'2", 135 pounds. Yeah. That's too stretched, I think. You think so?

Yeah. I mean, you are a real thing. You look like Slender Man. Well, I get that a lot. Do you really? And maybe I shouldn't wear the stocking over my face. You also look like the Boba Duke because you have a top hat as well. Boba, Boba, Boba Duke.

Boba, Boba, Boba Duke. Boba, Boba, Boba Duke. You're a boog. Boba, Boba, Boba Duke. Oh, you think he's a mook? Can we say that these days? Oh, Boba Duke. Boba Duke is a mook.

So, wait, where were we in the song? Come and play Boba Duke. I weigh 135 pounds. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? Yeah, see, I think they're saying Sesame. I think I'm saying it too, but I guess I'm not. No, you're not. You know, a lot of people don't realize that the vowel choices that they have when they

are dependent upon the region that they grew up in. Where did you grow up? How come the vowels don't thank you when they know you have a lot of choices? We know you have a lot of choices when it comes to vowels. Thank you for going with ah. Thank you for going with schwa. Oh, schwa. Schwa.

Where are you from? I'm from here in Los Angeles. Here in Los Angeles. Yes. I'm in Angelino. So, you have a podcast that is a... I co-host a podcast. You co-host a podcast.

Now, what is the difference between hosting a podcast with someone else and co-hosting? Well, I would say that hosting a podcast means you get to talk more and you get to just, you know, say whatever you want and then you leave a space for the co-host to either agree or disagree, but they should agree. Right. So, is that what you do? That's our dynamic. After every single sentence, you say, I agree.

Yes, exactly. Okay. And this is false crime. Yes. You know, there's true crime. Yes. True crime. Which is all these podcasts about...

Because there are fictional crimes, which you see on CSI and CIS. You know, other shows with C in them. NCI. So, CSI is crime scene investigation. So, NCIS is new crimes. Crime investigation scene. That's strange, isn't it? New crimes.

They only investigate new crimes. That's strange. I mean, and then the flip side of that is cold cases where they're just in... In vitro? In vitro. In vitro crimes. I bet it's cold in vitro. IVC.

I wasn't born in vitro, but I bet it's freezing cold. Oh, my God. To be in a tube. Have you ever been in a tube? I went watersliding once I was in one. Then I would... But it was a hot day. You called it watersliding.

I went watersliding. What would you call it? I went to a water park. There's not that much to do there. I could have eaten and laughed. People get the idea. What if they had a great hot dog at that water park and you're like, I just come for the hot dogs.

It cost me $50 plus the cost of the hot dog. They should give you free hot dogs at a water park. Should they not? Yes. I think certainly any place where you're wearing the least amount of clothing, they should give you the most amount of food for free. Because you're more likely to turn it down. If there was a water park that said, come eat whatever you want while you're here, no

problem. But you're wearing... You're not wearing your shirt. You're more likely to say, oh, no, I'm good. Don't worry about it. I can't think of anything that would go better with a water park than a buffet. I'm not saying it's a buffet. I am.

Oh, you are. Yes. You're thinking of trays with sterno. I'm thinking of hot trays with sterno. I'm thinking of... Shaking fingers. They don't wait behind everything. Passing your nerves?

No, they don't do anything except point... You point at the food and say, what is this? And then they say what it is. They say what it is, yes. Oh, these are mashed potatoes. They say with their hands behind their backs, but they're wearing the tuxedo shirts and the tuxedo ties and the tuxedo pants and the tuxedo shoes. What about the tuxedo socks?

No, they can wear whatever socks they want. Whatever socks they want. This is a good time to do an ad for bombas. Bombas? Isn't that a sock? I hope so. I really hope so. You've got the word bomb in it.

I know. It's weird, isn't it? Because bombs traditionally over the years, from the Oklahoma City bombing to the rest, they've been not good for the country. And yet this is a sock company and they're not a sponsor, so I feel like... But they should be, right? Hey, bombas, come talk to us because we'll talk about how you have the word bomb in your name.

I guess it's okay for socks because bombs don't really affect the feet. Although there are a lot of our brave armed service people have gotten their feet blown off and they can't wear the bombas. I don't think it's that their feet were blown off. I think it's that their bodies were blown off of their feet. Oh, so the feet stay where they're at. The feet stay where they're at. Okay.

So you... So this is false crime, though. Yes. And what is that? Yes. False crime is basically, we tell a story like it's a true crime, but it didn't happen. Okay. And do you make it up as you go along or this is...

My host makes it up as we go along. Oh, okay. So this is like the dollop where they're making up stuff about history and pretending it's real. Oh, I thought they were just reading Wikipedia. Two different shows, maybe. Right. So you're not reading Wikipedia about a crime that happens.

This is just... No. And this is just fake crimes and... False crimes. False crimes. Why would anyone... Pardon my French. Listen to this shit.

Well, they don't by and large. They don't. We have very few listeners. I'm one. And of course the... Are you just listening for the editing points, though? Yeah, I have to edit the thing. But there's not a lot to edit.

There's not a lot of fat on it. Yeah. We really discuss these crimes in depth and our feelings about them. Have you had that brain surgery that a lot of podcasters are having where they ask the doctor to poke the part in their brain where they say um. And so you never say um again. Is that a real surgery? Yeah.

Surgery. I've never had a surgery in my life. I had to erase that band with Mark McGrath. Sugary. Every morning when I wake up and I see the bed that my girlfriend is not dead. No. She says she's dead? I thought it was every morning when I wake up and I see the bed I check to see if my girlfriend's

dead. Oh. Because if she was dead, fictionally, we could put it on the false crime spot. Murder was... Murder was wrote. Murder was wrote. I think that's what I said. You really should check if you're here to do an actual...

I'm, of course, I'm not allowed to say the title. You're not really. On the show. That's the host's bailiwick. That's the bailiwick of the host. The purview. The privilege of the host. I see.

So who's your host? Who is this gentleman who... Fred Oldge. Fred Oldge. And has he been doing this show for a long time and you just got on or... He did one episode without me and then realized I need someone to bounce stuff off of. And so he brought me in. Interesting.

That's very, very interesting. I really want to hear this show. But you say no one is listening. Would you like to hear a clip? Yeah. I'd love to. I brought a clip if you'd like to play it. Okay.

Great. All right. Here is me. And Fred Oldge. And Fred Oldge. My host Fred Oldge. And murder was wrote. Okay.

Here we go. This is a clip from murder was wrote. Here we're discussing a crime from 1979 that did not happen. Wow. This is crazy. And so everyone was screaming when they saw it. Oh, they were yelling and screaming blood everywhere? Everywhere.

Even in the sink? Even in the sink in the bathtub. If you open the fridge, was there blood in there? There was blood in the fridge and there's a pot of soup in the fridge. There's blood in there. Oh, no. It got through the pot lid? Through the pot lid in the white bean kale soup.

Yeah. Oh. Blood everywhere. And I mean... It was more like blood soup. All the newspapers. It was in every newspaper, New York Times, People Magazine, the Neighborhood Patch. The Neighborhood Patch?

Yes. You know, the prestigious Neighborhood Patch. Yes. We've talked about it before. I know. How is your wife doing? She's finally conscious. Oh, the old lady is conscious.

Yes. Yes. Oh, that's going to be trouble for you. Well, she's going to be very mad when she finds out what... I know. I know because she's the only one who has the code to the home surveillance. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. And I guess I understood her reasons at the time for not sharing it with me, but I wish that she had because it would have saved a lot of bother. Right. But when she wakes up, are you going to kiss her and hug her? I probably will give her a warm embrace and I'll probably smooch her here and there. Okay. Okay.

Here and there. Okay. And maybe some butterfly kisses. Butter butterfly kisses. You grab a butterfly. If you go to the zoo, sometimes they have a butterfly enclosure where you can walk around and there's butterflies in there. Okay.

Just grab one. Oh. And then you do like the butterfly's head or the cheek. And by that point is the butterfly dead or it's okay. Okay. All right. There is blood everywhere. Interesting.

Wow. What an interesting clip. Where's your co-host Fred Oldney from? You know, he won't tell me. Yeah. Probably wise. Yeah. I've asked him several times.

I think that's a good idea. And he says, here's what he does. He says, that's none of your concern. Yeah. And I have to agree it is. It probably is not. Probably is not my concern. Yeah.

What? I mean, people are from everywhere. So why should it be? Who cares? Yes. So. What an interesting show. It seems like.

Thank you. It's nice to hear that. It seems like he was just kind of agreeing with you. More. That was a very special episode where we did an opposite day episode where I got to talk about the clip. Well, I'm, you know, I guess I'm a little. Let's hear one more clip from a different episode.

All right. All right. Wow. There is blood everywhere. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's wild. Somebody had to have died. Somebody had to have died, right? It seems that way for sure. All these blood. Does it seem that way or is it for sure? Well, you tell me. Now we are in conflict.

Oh, no. I don't want to have conflict with you, Fred. Well, we have a big problem because you say it seems that way for sure. Does it seem that way or is it for sure? I'm holding you to account. It for sure seems that way. Okay. That's different.

All right. Man, this is a lot of blood. You think it's one body or two bodies? Who could say? I mean a doctor. Oh, sure. Maybe we should get a doctor. You should.

Hi. Oh, okay. Hi there. Yes. I heard someone, I was rushing through the podcast studio and I heard maybe we should get a doctor and I'm a doctor and is there an emergency in here? Did you bring that microphone? Yes, I have.

I'm a podcast doctor, so I have my microphone. Oh, why do you have the stethoscope taped to your chest? It's not that way. Because it's hooked up to the microphone. I want to make sure that all of our listeners can hear my heart beating all the time. Is there an emergency in here? Well, kind of. Is it an emergency if somebody already died?

You can't really do anything about it. It for sure seems that way. Your language is so confusing to me. Wait, are you a co-host? I'm just a co-host. Oh, that's why you're nuts. That's right. Oh, that's why I'm nuts.

We're actually having a bit of conflict because... Well, I'm also a therapist. When I said I was a doctor, I meant I was a therapist. Okay. Well, you said you were a doctor, you were also a therapist. So you're a psychiatrist. I'm a psychiatrist, yes. Okay, but, okay.

I'm not a psychologist. Just pills. No, just pills, yeah. Do you guys need a subscription? I'll take a subscription to pills. I would like some subscription. No, I mean to People Magazine. Okay.

That's like a pill in a way. That is like a pill. It makes me calm. I made my vision board with it. I'm selling People Magazine. It makes you what? Make me calm. Yeah, what do you think I say?

Nothing. What do you think? Nothing. No, see, now we're having conflict. Are you going to buy a People Magazine subscription or not? Yes. Subscription or prescription? I have subscriptions to People Magazine, though.

Okay. And would you have prescriptions to anything? I have no prescriptions. I'm sorry. I'm not licensed. Oh, no. Okay. But does anyone need these?

I hate to see you sell them. Wait, you are a psychiatrist, but you're not licensed? No. I'm not licensed. No, I'm so sorry. You took an Uber here. I took an Uber here. Did you know that the first celebrity on People Magazine was Mia Farrow?

Yes. Because I'm the first cover. You do know that? Well, I have it framed in my office. Oh, you do? Why? Why? You told me that was your wife.

We have no trust between us. Okay. Are you married to Mia Farrow? No, I wish. Oh, don't let my wife hear that. Cut this part out. Okay, your wife. Your wife when she comes back?

I'm not editing your podcast. I'm not talking to you. No. Hey, we do have a psychological question. Oh, okay. We do. Hit me. Okay.

Baby, one more time? Or just this. I like your style. You like my style? I just got this from TJ Maxx. Yeah, I really enjoy it. That's what I'm saying. Thank you.

The tags are still on, by the way. It's like internal neck, but not quite. They call it a mock neck. Fred is quite the clothes horse. Are you returning that after the day is over? Because the tags are still hanging from it. Yes, please. I am, but you don't have to know.

Yes, please. I don't need to do this. Well, I want you to run the errand. You have an Uber. I have the Uber. You're right. Is the Uber waiting for you? Yes.

Okay. Okay. Here's a question. Wait, I'm sorry. Yes. So you took the Uber here. You said keep it running. Keep it running.

And then you came in here. I can't see if anyone needs us. Oh, so you were actually seeking out people like us? Yes, exactly. Yeah. What kind of people when you say people like us? Yeah. What do you mean by that?

I don't know about you, but I mean white people for you. That's interesting. What do you mean? I'm white. Okay. Why is the driven still? Why does the driven snow? Okay.

Here's the psychological question. Yes. Beneven psychological thriller. Okay. I'm hooked already. It's like Michael Jackson on pills. I don't know. Psychological pills.

Okay. It's a lot of blood in here. How many people do you think died? There's a lot of blood in here. What? Do you think it's A1, B2? What is the blood type? That's from Geopathy.

What is the blood type? What is the blood type, Fred? The blood type is O-positive. O-positive. And that's not a choice. I don't know. Is he allowed to ask all of these questions? You can do that on Jeopardy.

Just ask follow-up questions. No one does. No one does it, but you can do it. You can do it. Okay. All right. Ken Jennings is cool that way. He's a cool guy.

I'm going to say one person. Well, what do you think, Fred? Well, we were trying to think. We for sure think it was at least one. At least one. That's what I know. You're saying, as a psychiatrist who is not allowed to prescribe pills, you're saying it was one person left all that blood.

One person left all that blood. Okay. I like your voice. How it changed when you get certain. One person left all that blood. It's chilling to me. It's chilling, but it could be a good song for Coachella. Our songs just played at Coachella now.

Some songs are good. Coachella exclusives. Yes. Oh, interesting clip. You can go to it. There's one tent where all the bands will go to play a song. Are you still okay? Wait, the clip is still going.

No, no, no. I'm explaining to you what that was. Wait, but while we were playing that clip, suddenly Fred walked in. I'm going home. I know you didn't want me here. This was your thing. We don't have to share everything.

I get it. I'm out. Hi. This is Fred Olgi. And that's the clip. Now you notice we took some of your voice and put it in there. How did you get my voice? We recorded that.

You're the guy who called the other day and asked me all those questions. Yes. I wasn't doing a survey. I remembered. It was a bit of subterfuge. I remembered answering them that way. Wow. What an incredible podcast.

Thank you. This seems like. Thank you. And where can people get it? Right now, it's just on the computer. Oh, you haven't uploaded it to the internet yet? Or isn't the computer the internet? The computer is attached to the internet a lot of times.

Wirelessly sometimes, even. Okay. Okay. When I open the computer, I'm opening the internet. Is that correct? I mean, a lot of times when you open your computer, it will then attach to Wi-Fi, which is the internet. Yes.

Okay. The pathway to porn, as we call it. We know it. Hmm. Pornography. Wi-Fi. But you know. But okay.

So it is on the internet. It is. Yes. That's what I meant by on the computer, because I think of the computer as the internet. You need to go to a site that broadcasts it to the internet, and then people will be able to pick it up. Your eyes are darting back and forth like you're in a cartoon right now. I don't know.

I've uploaded it. Also, your eyes have just turned into dollar signs? Yes. Thinking about it. Once people get to hear this, I'm going to be in the money. And then now three jackpots came up? That's right. Oh, wow.

I'm sorry. I'm wearing a mask. You're wearing a mask? I'm going to take this off. This is what I really look like. I was wearing my one-arm bandit mask, which looks like a human head. It looks like a human head, and now you've taken off the mask, and it looks like that Mike Myers Halloween mask, strangely.

Yes. That's your real face? I was in an accident. Oh, what type? A car. And I went through the windshield of my car and the other car. Two windshields? Two windshields.

No waiting. And when they saw my face, I remember the paramedics said when they saw my face, they went gross. Did they say anything like to the effect of butter face or true ago? No. I mean, I think gross kind of summed it up. Do you think they were talking about because of the accident or just? No.

One of the paramedics told me later specifically it was that my face looked gross because it went through two windshields. I see. Okay. They weren't just judging you aesthetically. Well, they were judging me aesthetically, but I mean, not pre-accident. Right. Yeah.

Pre-accident was very handsome. Would you like to see a picture? Yeah, I'd love to. Take a look. Oh my God. Yeah. This is like something out of a catalog. That's right.

I mean, well, it is. I was in a catalog. You were a catalog model? Yes. For what catalog? For all of them. Every single catalog? Sears, J.C.

Penny, Tiffany and Company. Okay. Well, that's a leap right there. Orvis. Orvis. What about Ikea? Yes. They have a thick one, don't they?

Oh, they got a thick one. All right. Man. All right. Ikea? Yes. Ikea. We need to take a break because I'm getting a little hotter under the collar here.

Why? Are you angry? No, no, getting a little steamy in here, talking about Ikea's thick. Is hot under the collar just about anger or is it about sex? I think it can be about both. You can be angry during sex as well, can't you? I thought hotter under the collar meant angry. Well, you can be angry during sex and that's my wife.

By the way, what's going on with your wife? She's conscious now? She's finally conscious and she is angry with someone and that someone is me. Oh, no. Okay. I'm so sorry. She should have given me the door code. So you're a two-accident couple?

Yes, we are. Yes, we are. One for you, one for her. It's the Scorsese style. That's exactly right. Wow. All right. Well, we need to take a break.

Ted Newge is here. It's fascinating to talk to you. It's fascinating to be talked to by you. We also have a dancer coming up after the break. Do you enjoy the arts? I love to watch a denser. I love to watch an actor. I love to watch a sanger.

Sanger. Sanger. When they're up there singing those songs, I love a sanger. Okay. Well, we have a dancer coming up and this is exciting. We also have a concerned citizen coming up a little later. This is a great show and I'm glad you're here with me. Do you have any poets?

Pots? Pots. Pots. Poems. Poem. Poem? Oh, poets. We have no poets on the show today.

I'm so sorry. What? You are a co-host here. Professor, I would love for you to be my co-host here today. Oh my gosh. Well, this is... I accept. Okay.

Great. A deal is struck. When we come back, we're going to have a dancer. Let's shake on it. Why did you spit in my face right then? Isn't that the way it's done? No, it should be. I mean, first, it's gross already to do it in your hands.

I thought it was gross. Yeah. When we have a co-host here, we cut our hands and do a blood brother's shake. That seems unsanitary. Here we go. I'm not doing that. Oh, God. This is a terrible paper cut.

You should not have done that. Oh my God. I'm losing a lot of blood right now. From a paper cut. From a paper cut. Well, I did it with an entire book. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.

Comedy bang bang, we're back. This is Scott Ackerman, of course, and I have a new co-host on the show. Ted Newge is here. Hi, everyone. Great to be here. I'm the co-host, and Scott is the host. That's right. You have your style already down.

I love it. Thank you. What episode do you think from now on? I probably will be. Okay, great. Wouldn't mind it. 14 years in. Well, I mean, almost 14.

14? Really? Yeah, that's how long we've been doing it. Oh my God. I'm Fred Oldge. We've only been doing ours for 11 years. You've been doing it 11 years and haven't uploaded a single episode? No, I never said that.

You said that. Has anyone ever heard them? No. You've not. Yeah, you need to upload these. I'll teach you how after the show. Well, you were the one that said, why wouldn't anyone listen to this shit? That's a good point.

So you made me think that no one heard, no one listened because they didn't want to listen. That's a great point. Let's go to another clip. Okay. Right, Fred. Okay. This is a lot of blood. And the year is 1982.

Okay. It is. It's 1982. We are about eight years from 1990. And that's a fact. And what exactly happened here? Well, somebody or somebody's died. And it's not a good thing.

Somebody's going to go to jail. I hope so. I hope so too. But you think it was a murder? I think it was a murder or it was a really hard fist fight. I got to pause it right here. Did your co-host mean a difficult fist fight or the fists were hard? I took Fred to mean that the fist fight was, they were fighting so hard that they murdered each other.

They murdered each other. So a simultaneous fist fight. That's how I took it to me. Okay. Let's hear it. It was a simultaneous fist fight. Let's hear it. The fist fight was so hard that they murdered each other.

I'm going to pause right here. Your co-host answered my question. I shouldn't have paused. That's okay. I didn't want to give anything away. So that's why I said I took it to mean that, but I wanted you to be surprised. Next time I'll be a little less heavy on the pause button and let the clip play out. So we will listen to some more clips.

We will. Okay, great. Oh, was that one done? Yeah, that one's done. Oh, okay. Weird clip to show. Okay. All right.

Great. Well, and these are, by the way, that was all fake. That's all the blood and everything. None of these crimes happen. None of these crimes happen. None of these crimes happen. Okay. And you can see we get really into it.

That seems very confused about what's going on the entire time. Well, that's his prerogative. He's the host. Yeah. That's the way he wants to live. All right. Let's bring in our next guest. Come here a little later.

We have a concerned citizen. But before we get to them, let's get to our next guest. She's a dancer. Please welcome Stormy Kirkland. Hi. Hello, Mr. Rockman. Could you have done that before we started recording?

I tried. I tried. You tried? I tried. How did you try? Because you clearly did it right when I introduced you. Did you do it a little before? I tried to do it quietly.

I tried to do it. That was not quiet. That's you trying to do it quiet. Well, that's me trying to do it for real. That's what that was. For real? Well, because before I tried to do it quietly, have you ever tried to clear your throat quietly? Let's see if we can do it.

Here we go. Ted, I want you to try it. With actual clearing of the phlegm, let's try to do it as quietly as possible. All right. Let me get some phlegm in there first. Do you mind? I've got some extra. Can I get some of your story?

Yeah, I've got some here. I've got a little clip for you. I'm sad. Okay. Here we go. Ready? Too good for my phlegm. As quiet as you can, but actually clear it.

It sounds like you're choking on. Okay. That sounds great. Now I go. I thought we were doing it in a simple day. Why would we? We can't tell which is the quietest. Okay.

Are you sucking it in? Ted, have you died right now? You sound like that's a death round. Oh, I get that a lot. Really? Yes. My wife. My wife.

My wife. My wife. Your wife is Borat. I'm married to Borat. It's so confusing. Is Borat a woman? Why does Borat have to be a woman to be married to me? But you said your wife.

And I think normally when people hear wife, they think of a woman. Why? Wife is too gendered. Husband wife. I agree. We need to get rid of these words. It should be wife.

We need to cancel wife and husband. Okay. And then do what do you call your partner? Just your partner? You said it? Or we call them? It's too confusing. I can't put people in a box if everyone's calling me.

Are you going to try to clear your throat? Yes. Was that it? That's the golem. No, no, no, no, no. I don't know anything about that. You don't know anything about golem? What is there to know?

What is that? He lives in a cave. He wants a ring. I thought it was a city in Ireland. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Are you here to talk to me about who I am,

what I do, what my deal is, or what? I do want to know what your deal is, and I want to know how long you've been doing it. Okay. Very rude. You haven't given me a fair shot. Talk to me. You're a dancer.

I do know that. I am a valet dancer. Your name is Stormi. I'm a valet dancer. You're a valet dancer. Valet. Valet dancer. Valet dancer.

What is that? Someone who dances in the valet. In the valet? Do you mean is that just your accent? In the valet? Yes. The San Fernando Valley. The San Fernando Valley.

But also the valet. The valet at first. Where Encino Man is said. Encino Man. Yes. I've seen that film. Have you really? I just saw it recently.

I have not seen it. Do you know who John Lennon is? I do have no John Lennon. I do not know John Lennon. You know who he is or you know him? I do know him now. Sure. What song is he ever written?

Hip hop. Hip into the hop. You don't know John Lennon. What song is he ever written? He was in The Beatles. He was in The Beatles. He was in The Beatles. He was in The Beatles.

Okay. Well, you know of him then. Well, yeah. I know. Have a memory of him. I'm sorry. I didn't hear exactly what you just said. You are sorry.

Sure. I receive it. So now what do you mean by a valet dancer? I dance in the valet. In the valet. When you say the valet, do you mean the person who takes your car? When you go to a restaurant that doesn't have any parking? Well, that's a valet person.

The valet is just the area. Yeah. So you dance in the valet area. People are waiting for their cars. Well, the people are waiting for their cars. I'm a valet dancer. Yeah. And then she's doing her dancing.

It's a little like busking, perhaps? What's busking? Performing on the street for money. It's when you pretend to be a king at the bus stop. Oh, I don't get paid. No, no, don't do this for money. You don't do it for money. A king of the bus stop.

I'm sorry. A king of the bus stop. Yes. No, no, no buses. These people have cars. Well, busking is something that I used to do when I was younger. Busking. I would wear a crown.

Okay. On the bus. They never let me on the bus, but I would be at the bus station. Why would they never let you on the bus? Not even one time? I think they thought I had problems. Oh, so someone shows up wearing a crown. Did you have a scepter and a cape?

Of course I did. I was a king. And I would say, but I knew I wasn't a king. It's not like I was delusional. Sure, sure, sure. I would stand there at the, in the bus station and when they, when they would say, you know, the bus is ready. They'd make the announcement, everything.

The bus is ready. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special announcement. The bus is ready. I'm sorry. I was going to comment on your body. Go ahead. And then I would raise my scepter high and I would say, good people. I welcome you to the bus.

And then the bus driver would say, not today. Not today. Say. Well, I would let them. Yeah. I was also behind. I was a devil. I was a devil with a crown.

A crown with horns. Devil horns. Yes. Not a crown of thorns. A crown of thorns. A crown of thorns. And that's, that's probably why they wouldn't let me on the bus. I would let everybody else get on first and then I would say, and I will join you.

And then the bus driver would say, uh-uh. I wonder if he or she or they was more worried about the crown stuff or the devil stuff. Oh, I would imagine. Every bus driver is a Christian. Every bus driver is a Christian. I don't know that. Is that true? Yes.

Yes. They all have Bibles. Statuistically. Yes. Really? Statuistically. Statuistically, they're all Christians. They're all Christians.

I know a lot of people. I mean, I know a lot of drivers. Obviously. Right. Sure. Because I'm a valet dancer. Yeah. So I do.

What about Minnie? Do people from Valley Park buses? Do people sometimes? Yes. Yes. They do valet park buses. So not all, all valet people are able to. Well, yeah.

Normally, anytime that's happened to me in Vegas or whatever. Sure. They say, the driver goes, okay, everyone get off. I'm going to drive around and let me know when to come back. But if you're good people, you let the driver show in your party, you're riding the bus. You're looking at me with disbelief in your eyes. So you can read facial expressions. I can.

What did I didn't say? Interesting. I didn't say. Interesting. Do another one. Do another one. Give me another facial expression and that one is disgusted. Disgusting?

Disgusted. Your face is disgusted. Sorry. Like you were trying to do a Robert De Niro impression. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Okay.

Oh no. It's like Robert De Niro's lost his teeth. Can you milk me? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. His most famous quote. I hope that, that just takes over you talking to me at some point where that's, anytime anyone does a De Niro, that's what they say from now on.

I, look, this is, is this your audition for a film right now? I would love that, but I'm off her only. Off her only? Does anyone ever valy a school bus? Like if the math leaps did a great job, we're going for a fancy pizza hut. Absolutely. Do you think pizza hut is a valet? You should be.

Pizza hut's ass have valet in the valet. Do they? Everything has. Everything has valet in the valet. You can't take a look. Yeah. Pizza hut valet in the valet. You know that tune.

I love it. John Lennon. John Lennon. John Lennon. There's one of the songs you ever wrote. Juan Lennon. So now you don't do this for money. Why do you do it?

I do it for pure joy. Pure joy. Yes. Ecstasy. Ecstasy, weed, marijuana. Oh wait, so people give you drugs to do this. Yeah. I do it.

I do it for drugs. Oh. But do I look like an addict? No. Well, I mean you do have a crack pipe right next to you. Right. Hanging out the side of my mouth. Like papa.

Like papa. Just an ever present. Cram on. I'm not. And it's a big anchor on your huge forearm. You feel like it's a corn cob crack pipe. Yeah. I think it's charming.

Yeah. Right. Come on. Like corn. You know, the kid that loved corn. Cone. Cone. The kid that loved corn.

Oh, that was a recent thing. I'm like that, but crack. Interesting. That's a fun whimsical way to put it. Crack. Crack. You know, crack. Wait, are you from the valley because you haven't, you have an accent that seems like

you're from across the pond. I'm from the valley across the pond. I'm from the valley across the pond. Yeah. Sure. I'm from shore ditch. Shore ditch. Think about the name.

Shore ditch. Shore ditch. A ditch is surely a valley. Oh, okay. Yes. I am. Anyway, someone else is clearing their throat pretty loud. I'm just going to say it.

Let me try again. Try to do it. Didn't work. I would. Okay. Do it as loud as you want from now on, because that's even worse. I don't like either. Okay.

Nevermind. Honestly, I'm here because you guys look amazing. Thank you. I know we're done talking about bodies, but I just started. Yeah. Wait, tell us. Your bodies are amazing. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. I want your bodies. What do you mean when you say that? I want your bodies in every single way. Wow. I want day and night. Like you want to have sex with us or you want to possess our bodies? You should do whatever you're willing to let me do with your bodies.

Here's the thing. You have perfect bodies for dancers. Oh, I've never been told that before. You have a perfect. Thank you. You should be our body. I should be a body? Like a dead body?

Sorry. The crack has got me. Next time I got to make sure to ask our guests to refrain from using crack right before the show. No, I didn't start before the show. I started off when I got here. That's why I need to clean my throat. I'm trying to clean my throat.

I see. Okay. So, you guys have perfect bodies for dancers. Thank you so much. I've always said that I have a perfect body. No one's ever believed me. You have a perfect body. You've got legs.

You've got chest. You've got arms and neck. Perfect. It's all a dancer needs. Wow. You should join me in the ballet. What about a face that's really smooth? Like almost featureless?

Take off your mask. You put it on during the break. Take it off. I saw my favorite. What's your favorite face? My favorite face has got craters in it because it says you've lived a life. So, like Robert Davy? Sure.

Perfect crater reference. Bill Murray? Bill Murray, sure. Yes. Wonderful face. I didn't think of any other crater faces out there. Who are the most famous crater faces? I mean, Davy is number one.

Is this kind? We can't go too far with this. Davy knows he has a crater face. He gets work because of it. Okay. Fair enough. I'm a celebrity. So, I have to keep things cool and kosher.

And yeah. Okay. So, how did you get interested in dance? Oh, okay. So, I was a ballet dancer as a kid. You were a ballet dancer? I was a ballet dancer as a child. Wow.

And then I got into crack. Professionally? Oh, you got into crack. I got into crack. And that ruined your career? You know how some athletes hear the ACL? It ruins their... Or some athletes get into crack.

And it ruins their career. And it ruins their career. Pete Rose gambled. Yes, exactly. What? I said exactly. And then I was like, I didn't really hear it. Pete Rose gambled.

He gambled on crack. Do you know who Pete Rose is? Pete Rose. He sounds like... Oh, like what a wonderful name. Rose. Pete Rose. Is that the former USC football coach?

What do you just throw at us? Crack powder. Thank you. I'm just kidding. That's not... That's baking powder. That's baking powder. Oh, okay.

Why do you have baking powder? Because people are constantly calling me for crack. And I'm like... You just give them baking powder. And it's a good placebo effect. You like the Pied Piper effect. I didn't come here to talk about drugs. I'm so sorry.

Okay, let's talk about dance. I came to talk about dance. Do you know any... Have you ever interviewed a dancer? I got. I don't even know. Wow. Yeah, this is the first.

Have I ever interviewed a dancer? I would love some fantastic questions about dance. Okay. How do you dance? Well, I do different... Not just you, but anyone. Oh, how does one dance? Yeah.

So, how does one dance? First, you... One dance. One dance. Okay, I like that. I get it. And it's like, you know, it's... Yup.

I like them. You like the Fuji? Why Clef? Yes. Why Clef? Why Clef Jean Lennon? Why Clef Jean Lennon? Yeah.

Right? Yeah, I think so. And Praz. And Praz? No, Prague. Prague. Prague. Prague Czech Republic.

Oh, Prague. Is that... His name is Prague. Right. And then that girl from Sister Act. Yes. Yes. Whoopie Goldberg.

Yes, Whoopie Goldberg from the Fuji's. Okay. What do you think about what Whoopie said recently? Which thing? You know the thing. It depends on which thing. You know the thing. You're not going to get me canceled.

Okay. My career is just taking off in the ballet. Okay. So, how one dances is you feel everything in your body. You feel it? Check. Yes. Do you feel all of your things?

All right. Great. Do I wiggle everything we have just to make sure we can do it? Wiggle your fingers and your toes. Wiggle your fingers and your toes. Contract your butthole and uncontract it. I can just think to her. Yes.

I consider the hole to be what is outside of this finger. Like this finger implies like all of it going in. The hole is just the sum of the parts. Yeah. The hole is the sum of the parts. The hole is the absence of something. The hole is the short. Well, why do they call it donut holes?

That's a good point. Because if it's the absence of something. That's right. So, buttholes would implies that there actually is something. Do you think there should be skin where a butthole is? I think so. Don't you think? Do you think when we're born, they take like a millen baller and they scoop out a hole?

I just look and then they keep them at the hospital? I just had one of these things we're talking about recently and yeah, that's what they do. You had it done to you? Yeah. Okay. It looks so good. I was like, look, can I get one? It's like a circumcision but for some reason.

Can I get sloppy seconds on this? Okay. Great. Okay. Okay. Well, how one dances, you feel it in your body. Yeah. It's everyone can dance.

Whether you can dance well or not shows up the debate. You know? That's like rapping. Everyone can rap. Everyone can rap. I want you to rap. I want you to rap. A, B, C, D, E, F, G.

H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, B, Q, R, S. Did I do it? T, U, V. W, X. W, X. W, X. W, X. W, X.

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W, X. W, X. W, X. ruin. Z, Z. Z. W, X. W, X.

Well, um, that's, um, that was my only question. Now I've got this in my hand Somebody's thinking W is at the way. No, nothing too crazy. I need to ask you this, but that's not enough. Ask me anything. I just, yeah, I just dance in theThe life. When you go to the hotel kitchen where they're preparing all the food, so do they like for

breakfast, do they make all the toast in one batch? Yes, they do. And that's it for the day. They've got a giant toaster. That's prep work, you mean? They've got a giant toaster, surface area of a basketball court. Oh wait, they have a giant toaster? Surface area of a basketball court, every hotel.

Every hotel. Wow. I'd love to see one of those. It's like a Hamilton Beach toaster. Wow. That sounds amazing. Heavy duty. Every piece of bread they have in the kitchen in there.

Every piece of bread they've got. Butchink. Butchink. That's the sound of a toaster coming in. But depending on how you like your toast, if that's if you like it light, I don't, I like my toast. Oh, do they have to do it several times? So they go.

Butchink. And then they take the light ones out and then they put them all back in. Always good at a hotel, let's say. And I want the toast prepared this way. Yeah. How do you like your toast? I like it. I like it.

I like it dark, dark brown, like my coffee. Okay, you're free. I like it barely, I like it barely toasted at all. No, you don't. So, but do you want... Do you like the bread underdone as well, like just kind of like yeast-like? Yeah. You like to taste the yeast.

I like it to be a glob of dough. Okay. Just barely toasted. So in the pandemic, when you were baking your bread, you were just like, not baking. It was easy. You were just... He liked it like it was hard. It was very easy.

You just got a bunch of dough. Yeah. It was just the way I like it. Okay. You just eating it? Yeah, anyway. You're very easy to please. I really am.

Wasn't a compliment. Oh, yeah. Where is your wife? Can we call her? Maya? Yeah, can we call Maya? Does this mean you don't want to talk to me more? I want to talk to you more, but I want to talk to Maya as well.

Maya from like the, from the like, you know, the 90s, like the era of brand new... M.Y.A. M.Y.A. Maya. From Lady Marmalade? Maybe Marmalade. Baby Marmalade. Baby Marmalade. Who was in Baby Marmalade?

It was Maya. Lady Marmalade got pregnant. I don't know if you heard. Maya. Oh. And had a baby Marmalade. Pink. No, P apostrophe.

Pink. Pink. Not apostrophe. Tristina Aguilera. Tristina. Pink. Missy Elliott. Missy Misdemeanor Elliott.

She produced all of the vocals and then she rapped as well. Little Kim. Little Kim. Little Kim. Little Kim. Little Kim. Little Kim. Well, are we speaking to his wife?

Yeah, let's call her. Oh, yes. Please call my wife. Her name is Maya. Phone is ringing. The phone is ringing. Hello. Oh.

Oh. Hi, honey. Oh, that's Maya. Hi, honey. It's Ted. I was going to say put Maya on. Ted, what's going on? I'm watching my stories.

I'm on a podcast, but it's not my podcast. It's a different podcast. Hi, this is Scott Ogerman, host of Comedy Bang Bang. Hello, and my name is Stormy Kecklin. I'm such a huge fan. Really of? Of what? Specifically.

I love Shark Tale. Shark Tale only? Okay. I get that a lot. Mr. Show. Hey. Hey. I've always wondered.

Is your name... Yeah. ...spelled with one... Okay, bye, honey. Okay. No, I wanted to talk to you. Well, unfortunately, we're only allowed one phone call per episode. No, is this jail?

What is this? Yeah. I'm so sorry. This is jail. This is jail. Call another... This is podcast jail being on Comedy Bang Bang. No.

No. Sorry. Wait a second. We have two phone lines. So if I call a different line, does that make it a different phone call? Oh, no. Yeah. This is a phone call to anyone in the United States.

So we can call, you know, how many people are in the U.S.? Seven million? A hundred? A hundred. Maybe 120. It's gotta be in the high hundreds, right? I mean, it feels like it should be more, but I don't know. To be honest, a lot of people...

Well, there's how many of us? There's one, two, three here. There's three of us here. Right? How many could be left? 97 more people. All right. What's your other phone line, by the way?

Is it a fax line? Yes, it is. But it also works as a phone. Okay. Someone, please pick up, please pick up, please pick up. Hello? Maya? Well, let me get her.

Sorry. Wait, who is that? Who's with you? Hello? Is this Ted again? Maya? Who is... Yes, your husband.

Who was that with you? Oh, that was... Don't worry about that. I'm worried about him. Don't worry about that. What is this? Don't worry, darling? Yes.

Don't worry, darling. I'm going to spit on you. Hey, he never said that. She answered your question. It is. Don't worry, darling. He never said that in the movie. I was just the pool boy.

Don't worry about the pool boy. The pool? We don't have a pool. It was the gardener. You know... We do have a garden. Okay, bye. Bye.

No, but wait, we would just... Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were done. No, but we were just getting started. I'm so sorry. But I was really thrown by that man's voice. I would like to do a show. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I would like to do a show for you all.

Oh, okay. Yeah, you'd like to do a dancing show? Yes. Great for a podcast. Yes, I would love to do a dancing show. It's exciting. Someone give me a beat so I can move my body. Dude.

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Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.

Dude. Dude. It's really a killer. Somebody else died. It's not even. Is this your loved one that died? Yes. Oh, this is a turning point.

It was my mentor. Your mentor, your mentor. Angela Lansbury. Yes. Oh, no. I'm going to pause. Wait, so this is the day after Angela Lansbury died? Yes.

And was there a lot of blood when she died? I didn't read that part of the news. Remember it's false crime. Oh, sorry. Here we go. Back to you. She was covered in blood. Just drowning it in.

Oh, no. Her own blood or somebody else's blood. This is imperative. No. Okay. We are going to solve it. We're going to solve the murder. And then we're going to wrote it.

Okay. Okay. Breathe. Do box breathing. That's four breaths. And then you hold for four. I'm going to pause. It sounded to me like you were doing four breaths out.

Well, she didn't specify. She said four breaths in. Angela Lansbury. She didn't specify. We got the idea of box breathing from Angela Lansbury. From Angela? But she never said in or out. Are you an actual, was Angela Lansbury your actual mentor?

Oh my God. No. Okay. No. What a stupid show. From Glass Onion. Was she in Glass Onion? That's Angela Lansbury.

Last credit, yes. Last credit before she bites. Oh, wait. Hi. I'm sorry. I start, wait. Oh, hi. Did I start the clip again or wait?

No. I know. I know. I'm so glad. She made it in the movie. Okay. I thought Fred was making that up. Oh, okay.

But you're confirming. I'm confirming. Yes. Angela Lansbury's final role. Okay. I saw that movie and I don't remember being in it. You saw it and don't remember. How late did you come?

Oh, I got there like an hour and 45 in. Okay. Yeah. This is a problem. She's in one of the first scenes. Fun movie. Yeah. Good stuff, right?

All right. Let's one more, one more, a little more on the clip. Here we go, Ann. Play. So she drowned in somebody else's blood or her blood. And that's the thing we have to solve. And that's the thing we are going to get to the bottom of. And then you and I, we're going to be on top.

Should we check under her fingernails for placenta? Placenta from the baby to see if she gave birth to a baby. Because you mean for like. To see if she was murdered by a baby while someone was giving birth. Okay. Let's check under her name. Fred, I can't do this right now. I got to pause.

Wait. Yeah. The corpses are supposedly in front of you. Can I be honest with you? I've never been clear. Because Fred always changes the subject. Okay. And stormy, what do you think about all this?

Well, you know, it's not unlike a murder true crime podcast to be a bit confusing. You have to watch. That's why I think listening to it in tidbits and snippets is wrong. Yeah. Frankly. I think it's ethically wrong. Can I help anybody to some crack? Yeah, I'd love some.

Yeah. Thank you. A dose figure. Oh, you bite it. I put his in a brownie. Crack brownies. Crack brownies. Crack brownies.

Oh, gosh. Well, guys, we don't have time to listen anymore of that. We need to get to our next guest. Okay. Okay. He's a concerned citizen. Oh, and he's been on the show before. Please welcome back to the show Ricky Johnson.

Oh, thank God you're here, Scott. You're so loud. So loud. Hi, Ricky. I sort of remember you. You've been on the show before. You were in the backyard. Yeah.

I was in the backyard. If you remember, I was in a time loop. I was in a time loop for 11 years. Oh, yeah. And I was repeating the same day over and over and over. Some day over and over. And the day, in the middle of the day, you were on my podcast. That's right.

Yeah. That day I was on your podcast. Some days I skip it. Some days, you know. Some days you wouldn't even show up. Yeah. How would the podcast go? Better or worse?

Well, it would depend. Sometimes it would go really well because sometimes, you know, it's just an energy thing, but sometimes it would just flounder. And how would you learn that information? Because I wouldn't put them out on the same day that I record them. Sometimes I would listen to it from the other side of the wall. Oh, okay. You know, because remember in the backyard era, there was a bunch of lawn mowers.

Lawn mowers and garbage trucks. Yeah. That was usually me doing the rows. Oh, that was you? Yeah. I was just always like banging a hammer. Because I wanted to hear the show. On that one day that you were on the show, though, because you were repeating that day

over and over. Well, the day that I wasn't on the show, the day I would skip it out, I would just start banging a hammer doing lawn mowers. But we had hammers and lawn mowers almost every day in the backyard era. In the backyard era. That was not you, though. Pre-recording. I recorded it before I got here and pressed play.

And then I came and did the show. So you would put a timer on the one day that you did the show. Sometimes you would not be on the show and you would do a lawn mower. Is this the thing you want to look at? And then at night, you would set a timer on a... Nevermind. It doesn't matter when I did it. It doesn't matter.

It could have happened right... You know, I could have had a trigger on my phone, for example. But you're not living that... Nevermind. Okay, so Ricky, you're out of that day, it seems like. Yeah, I'm out of that day and this is what I need your help with. Congratulations, by the way. How did you...

No. No? It's not good. It's bad. Do you guys understand the concept here? Because I think the last time Ricky was on the show, there was a person on who didn't understand science fiction at all. No.

Or concepts like this. It's a crap. Who? I forget what... They were a babysitter. They were a babysitter and they just did not have the acumen to understand my situation. Well, I've never babysit, so I get it. You know, I used to be part of the babysitters club.

You were? I got kicked out for crack. Interesting history you have. But you understand his situation. He was in a time loop. He was in a time loop. Right. A ground-up day, Palm Springs.

A Palm Springs, a live-die-repeat. Yeah. Sure, sure, sure. What have I? Was live-die-repeat all in one day? Because it seemed like it went on for more than 24 hours. It was just a loop whenever he died. It would go on longer the more he got better at what he was doing.

Yeah. Because he was... It was dependent on him dying. Yes. I hate to give spoilers for live-die-repeat. Yes, and also don't... That's also spoilers for the manga, All You Need Is Kill, which the movie is based on. Oh, yeah.

What's the name of the film? Edge of Tomorrow is what it was originally called, and then they call it live-die-repeat. All You Need Is Kill? Yes, I don't know. All You Need Is Kill? Is that for real? That's what it's called. That's by Waycliffe Jean Lennon.

Part of the series is Fuck Mary Kill. Fuck Mary Kill, live-die-repeat. Very similar. Yes. Out of the three of us, live-die-repeat. Okay. I'm going to say die to Scott right off the bat. Man, I hate to hear that.

I'm going to say live to Ricky Johnson. Wow. Okay. That means Ted. You're going to repeat. Ted, you're going to repeat. Okay, well, actually, I would like to switch. If I could switch, that would be great because I need to go back, Scott.

What's been going on? I need to go back. You need to go back to the old day? I need to go back to the loop. What happened? What happened? How'd you get out of the loop? What happened?

How'd you get out of the loop? What happened? How did you get out of the loop? But I also have to say that when you said switch, it reminded me of a famous dance we used to do back at the valet. What was it? It's when you... I got to hear about this dance. Okay, it's with...

You're going to waste part of your day? No. This day is... Look, I'm not in the loop anymore. You're not. I'll have plenty of time. Okay, so you haven't lived this day over enough? This is...

No, this is a brand new... Everything is new to you? I've been living days and this is my exact time. Everything is like a repeat on NBC that you haven't seen? New to you? It's new to me. That's right. New to you?

Okay. All right. So the switch is your right foot is in one place and then you hop your left foot to the place your right foot it was in. Making a switch. And make a switch. And then you make a switch again and you do that on beat. That is a dance. It's a gorgeous dance.

More than I thought, but all right. What do you want more? I can give you more. What's the dance where you twist your hips around? That's called the twist your hips around. Really? What's the dance where you hop to the left and you put your knees in tight, then I know there's a pelvic thrust.

That's the Texas chainsaw. Thank you. Oh, thank you. What's the one where I put my hand upon my hip and when I dip, you dip, you dip. I dip. Yeah. We dip. That one is called the community dip.

The community dip. Is that one dance where you cha-cha real smooth? That one is called a cha-cha walk. Cha-cha walk. Okay. W-O-K. W-O-K. Oh.

Because it's like a little bit of Eastern flavor. Exactly. In my life. A little bit of Eastern flavor. Monica and Maya and Randy. When they say a little Monica, how much are we talking? A little Monica? Well, she's probably about five-four.

Don't ask Bill Clinton. Oh. Boy. No. If I ever see him, that's the first thing I'm going to ask him. If I ever see him, I'm going to ask him. Tricky Bill? Tricky Bill.

Oh my gosh. I just wouldn't bring myself guards if you know what I mean. Yeah. Okay. All right. So tell us what happened. How'd you get out of the loop? It was, you know, I spent a lot of, I spent 11 years in this loop and I wasn't really-

11 of your years. It was one day to us. Exactly. And so I wasn't doing a whole lot. I didn't do the Groundhog Day thing where I learned piano over a series of however many years. It is weird that his teacher is so proud of him because he's only been taking it for one day.

Why would he even go back that day? If he knew piano, what did he learn that day from her? Exactly. Did he learn the end of the composition? It bothered me for him. Does he go to the piano teacher and say, like, hi, I know every single thing to do with piano other than the end of this one song? I don't know one note.

And then why would she be so proud? I don't know. Anyway, go ahead. You know, I sort of went on a journey. I did so many things that I thought I would never do. Sort of. You know, yeah, I sort of went on a journey. Everyone's journey is different to everyone, you know.

Is that true? I think so. I think you wouldn't think what I considered a journey might be a journey to you. Oh my God. I agree. Everyone's journey was not real. Really? Yeah.

Of course. Well, I wouldn't agree that that recent performance they gave was all that great. Oh, no, I don't think so either. Yeah. Who? The Mar-a-Lago. The Mar-a-Lago. Who?

It's like the Batman. Journey. Journey. Yeah. Journey's Small Let? Journey's Small Let? Yeah. Mar-a-Lago?

Uh-huh. That's right. Yeah. Just don't tell her brother. The Winter White House? The Winter White House. He'll supposedly get beaten up there. Yeah.

Who's your president? Say it. Like the president I grew up with, like your SNL cast? No, yours. What? Who are your guys? My president was Ronnie Reagan. Oh, I loved Woodrow Wilson.

I love favorites. I don't want to talk about these things. You want to talk about his loop? I want to talk about his loop. I was wandering in the middle of the desert one night and I saw but a golden idol and I was like, this must go somewhere. You saw but a golden idol? Yeah.

Just a shimmering in the moonlight. So you saw nothing else but a golden idol? Yeah, that's right. It was just me and I didn't know. And had you been to the desert before during that 11 year? I had been adventured over there. You never went to the desert? No.

That's a great thing about California. You can go surfing in the morning. You don't even have to name your horses. No, yeah. That was the best part. That's sort of why it enticed me to go over there. I was like, I sort of got stuck in the loop of being like, I got to name this horse. I got to name this horse.

And then I realized it doesn't need a name. And I got over there. You got over there. And here's what's great. You can remember your own name because there ain't nobody for it to give you no pain there. And isn't that the truth? And that's deep. Sometimes you get hassled so much you forget your own name.

That's happened to me before. Everyone's just hassling you so much. It's like, who am I? Who even am I? Yeah. Somebody's calling your name. You don't turn around because you've forgotten it. I forgot.

And so I found this shimmering golden idol in the moonlight and I said, this looks like it must fit into something, right? And so then I do that with a lot of things. This looks like it must fit into something. Yeah. And then I happened upon what I would call, I guess, a mysterious cave. Oh, in the desert? In the desert cave?

Yeah. So a mysterious cave in the desert. In the very same desert? In the very same desert. A bit of a cave of wonders even. There was a bunch of jewels. It kind of presented itself before me out of the sand. Wow.

Oh, it rose out of the sand and presented itself to you? Because I had the idol on me. How long from finding the shimmering idol to encountering the magical cave? It was like 30 seconds. It was not. Whoa. Okay. So it's almost like it was triggered by you finding the idol.

Exactly. Triggered? Yeah. Triggered much. That's what it said. I'm triggered by you finding the idol. You finding the idol? It's triggered.

It's triggering me. Yeah. So it rises up. You go inside. There's a bunch of jewels. A bunch of jewels. Were you not tempted by these jewels? Of course I was tempted.

I was salivating like a sick pig that I am. Wait. You're a sick pig? You're a sick pig? What's your illness? What is your illness? I mean, I just... You're sick in the head?

I'm sick in the head. I'm twisted. We didn't talk about this last time. When he came on here, he coughed. He hacked a loogie so big. He did. That only God could lift it. I just had something in my throat.

I helped myself to a little bit of crack before I got here, but it's fine. I better not have been my crack. No, no, no, no. That's the thing about crack is that everybody who wants it can have it because there's just so much everywhere. The people struggle. Crack everywhere. Yeah.

So you dropped a drink. So what happened when you were in this cave? Well, I saw the exact inlet where the idol fits because there wasn't a whole lot in there. There was just a bunch of jewels and an empty little inlet. And I put the idol into the inlet and gave it a twist and then presented a... You put the idol in the inlet and gave it a twist. And I'm dancing.

Ah, my back! Oh, careful. You're not a good dancer. You injure yourself immediately. Oh, my gosh. I've never been so disrespectful. You're almost like Mr. Glass. I am like that.

Wait, did you see that movie on one of the days in the 11 years? You were trapped in that? I watched all three of the films in that series. You know, like Unbreakable, Split and Mr. Glass. M. Night has had some new movies since you've been trapped. A little thing called Old. Well, that was the thing. I saw Old.

In the 11 years? We talked about Old last time. We talked about Old last time. We talked about Old last time it was on. What is happening? I'm with M. Night's Dan. I love him. I can't wait to see a knock at the cabin.

But I probably won't because the thing is, I got to get back to my loop. Okay, tell us what happened. So you were granted the ability to get out of the loop? Yes, because a wheel of time emerged from the wall. Not the wheel of time. Not the wheel of time. No. I'm less interested in the mechanics of this and just like, what happened?

See, that's all I care about. I pushed the wheel. It was like a big donkey wheel kind of and I pushed it. Did it move right away or was it like you had to like really get your feet dug in and like push it with all your body? I was huffing and puffing. It was embarrassing. Because during the entire time.

Was anyone there to see it? Thank God, no. And it never happened? I mean, I don't know if there was a candid camera in there or something, but I would hope not. What's a candid camera? Oh, are you being punked by Ashton Kucha? I hope Kucha wasn't involved.

Is it Kucha? Is it Kucha? Who could even say? At this point? At this point? Kucha. He should have a press conference. Yes.

I'd like him to have a press conference. Yes, he definitely at this point. At this point. At this point. I was so confused in the marketplace. Over a Bible. I need to be able to trust what he's saying. And he should do it as his famous Popchips character.

Yes. His Indian Popchips character that was right the day before we decided that was not okay anymore. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a statement exclusively on the blockchain. So what happened? I pushed the wheel and then I landed in and I was, I found myself in another desert.

Fast forward. Hold on a second. Push out of pushing the wheel. Put you in another desert. I, I trans, I was transported. Magical. Oh, transported. Okay.

Yes. Can you fast forward to the point where you got out of the loop? Well, guess what? I was, I walked over. I was, it was daytime now. I was like, oh, I guess the loop started over. I look at a newspaper the next day. Did you remember, obviously you remember what the date is exactly the date.

Yeah. So I, I'm not going to ask you. I just want to carry no further. Yeah. Did you, after you saw the newspaper, you must have been so excited with, did you look in the mirror and say, Oh boy. I didn't say, Oh boy. I said, Oh no.

You said, Oh no. Like our, like the backyard air is catchphrase. I don't know what that is. Um, I think you were around during it, but anyway, so yeah, I think I might have said, Oh no. Yeah. I don't know. Did I invent it?

I didn't know. That was something really good and smart that I said. You can't just take credit for other people's things. I think I said it because I'm saying it now. Oh no. Um, but I was like, okay, I guess the loop's over. So you went from Oh no to okay. Yeah.

It was sort of a short cycle and you can imagine those 30 seconds after that. So the loop was over. Had the day that you had been living your desert day, had you, had you created a lot of wreckage in your personal life? No. And this is the thing we were sort of talking about last time was that it was, it was like, you know, I had tried a bunch of different experiences because I knew my day would reset over and over again.

So I had killed. I had killed myself. I had jumped in front of a bus. I'd done all sorts of crazy things. I tried all the crack, which is where I knew I had a taste for it. Amazing. Yes. Did you ever eat poison?

I ate poison. I, you know, I threw a big soda. You ever drank poison? I drank it. I injected it. I smelled poison. I snorted poison. Did you pour it in your ears?

Shakespeare style? I poured it into my ear. I did it like a poison, like a poison soaked tampon up my ass. Don't you think you'd wake up if someone poured poison in your ear? I would hope so. I would hope I would. I'd be like, what's that? I hear poison.

I hear a trickling. Hark. Hark, I hear a trickling. So what, what had happened to you on the day? Why do you need to get back and correct it? What had happened was. What had happened was. I realized I had it, I had it made in the loop, you know, my David reset, no harm, no

foul. Yeah. Now anytime I make a mistake. NHNF. NHNF. Now when I make a mistake. I gotta live with it. There are consequences.

There are consequences. There's cancel culture now. I know. You didn't factor that in when you wanted to get out of the loop. No, I didn't know that I could be canceled for any old thing. Oh, no, have you been canceled since then? Not really. No.

You know, it's who's really canceled. You can kind of just wait it out for a little while and get back to work. So what, what did, what if you. Unless you shanado Connor. Yeah. Oh God. What she did was unforgivable. Well.

She shaved her head and she did that. It was the combo of the two things. That's true. Yeah. And that's, that's, that's a recipe for disaster. So when she shaved her head, that was strike one. This is it. All she's gotta do.

One more transition. She had long, beautiful locks. Oh, she had luxurious curly hair. Okay. Tear pictures of the Pope every single day and nobody blinks an eye. But if you do it with a shaved head, everyone loses a lot. You can have one. Jason, stay with them.

You can't have both. Stay away from it. Stay them away. Stay them away. Stay them away. Stay them. Take me away. Stay, stay them, stay them by self.

All right. So what have you done then? So what have you just wrecked your life? I haven't, I mean, I, what the other day I, you know, I crashed my car. That was a. Why did you do that? Because I forgot that I wasn't in it anymore. I hadn't done that in the loop.

Right. So I had sort of, you know, a phantom loop syndrome. Phantom loop syndrome. Yes. You had PLS? I had PLS. Well, sometimes I forgot that I'm not in the loop because I usually wake up in my bed. Right.

I'm going to do the PLS ice bucket challenge. Yeah. Let's do this. The PLS ice bucket challenge. I'm going to do it now. Do we, do we put ice on ourselves or on other people? Well, you put as much ice in a bucket as you can. As much ice as you can fit in any bucket and that's the challenge.

And then we. The more the ice. We count the cubes at the end. And then people are aware of the disease. Oh. That's a disease. That exists. You know what you do is put as much ice as you think can go in a bucket.

Then we wait a day. It all melts. And then we measure the water level and see who had the most ice. Sure. Honestly. And I hope this time. Scientists watch. Yeah.

Because I think not enough scientists watched before when people were doing the ice bucket challenge. Yeah. Scientists hated it before. They hated it. They don't like videos. They don't like viral videos. They don't, they hate videos.

No. Have you ever seen a scientist drink a drink? No ice. They hate it. They hate it. They hate it. Okay. So sorry.

You're from the valley. Oh no. You're from shore? Shore ditch. Shore ditch. I'm from the valley in England. So how do you, how can we help you? Is being on this podcast something you think will help you or?

Well no one asked me that. Sorry. It's a question I say for the end. Everyone will be asked. How can we help you? How can we help you? How can we help you? A crack kid who has numerous dance injuries.

You never said how can I help you. You know I'm like the Wizard of Oz. I can grant wishes. Oh probably. Yeah. Okay. So how, how do you want to get back to the loop? I thought, I thought being here would be some sort of trigger, you know, for me and I'd

get back into a loop because I spent a lot of my loop, a lot of the 11 years I was in the loop, you know, talking with you, Darcy and the babysitter. Oh that's right. The babysitter. Yeah. And we all just had, we had a great time and I just thought maybe something here would, you know, trigger the loop again but. But you can't be triggered.

Yeah. I'm untriggerable babe. Do you think a cave will rise up again? You should do a stand up special and call it that. Yeah why don't you just do stand up. Wow. You like that Cha Cha? I was typing Bane, the comic book character Bane on my phone the other day and it corrected

texting. Batman? I was texting Batman. There's a problem out there in Gotham. You gotta take care of this. But have you heard of this Bane guy? He was born in the darkness, molded by it. Autocorrected to babe like my phone's Dennis Miller or something.

What the hell is going on with this? What if Bane's name was Babe? I don't think autocorrect should, should correct words they seized. Babe. Get that serum out of yourself babe. Get that serum out of yourself. I am the darkness babe. So what, what, yeah it's not triggered a cave rising up or anything like that so I

don't know. Naring a cave around here. I think you might be stuck. I just, I need to go back and I just, I don't, I don't know what to do. You had a good there. I had a great there. You know I didn't do a whole lot, I haven't done a lot in the intervening time since I've been out of the loop.

Yeah you only went to the desert once. That seems like. That's all it took too and isn't that something. I wish I had done it day two. Have you gone back to the desert where you were and like picked up the thing that triggered the cave and all that? What? Go back to the desert where all this magic shit happened.

That seems like a no. You didn't do that. Can I ask you something? The date. Me? The date. Me? Yes you.

The day before you got stuck in the loop. Did you go to that desert? Yeah. And did you get that jewel and triggered the cave and all that kind of stuff? Yeah I didn't see it. Well for me it was a little over 11 years ago. I'm trying to remember. Yeah it seems like something I would have done.

I love seeing a shimmering golden idol in the middle of the desert. Right. So you didn't go back there the very next day that you found out you were in a loop? Well I was just there babe. Go back to the desert. Stop bothering us. Okay so how am I supposed to get there? I don't horse with a name I assume.

You don't have a car? You don't have someone who can drive you? I wonder the streets my dear. I don't know what you want me. I don't have a car. I haven't had a job for 11 years. I've got access to many cars. I've got access.

Now this is interesting. All of a sudden it's the cars. Nothing else. You could also take a desert bus. Oh a bus. You think a bus would go over there? I just haven't. You probably do a study.

There's regular buses to the desert. Yeah just pull the string you know when you get to the. Pull the string. Like I can't answer all of your questions but the answers do not lie within me unfortunately. No. I'm sorry but it's a pleasure. And numbers cannot lie. Men lie.

Men lie all the time. This is true. I lie to my wife constantly. Why? I know. What's the deal with that? She's been unconscious. And you'll see that whispering lies to her.

This is the time to tell her lies. When she lies you lie. That's the community lie. Alright look we're running out of time here. Please no. Please help me. I'm so sorry. I don't have anything to help you.

Stop please. I'm so sorry. We are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature and that is of course a little something called plugs. Give me some plugs you little bitch or else I'll probably die. And then you'll go to jail for not saving my life. And then you'll start a gang and fight with others for their turf.

And then your gang will break out and conquer the whole earth. And then the aliens come. Rain hell from the sky. Your earth turf is now ruined. And let me tell you why. You didn't give me plugs. Now the earth was destroyed. You didn't give me plugs.

Now you're floating in a void. Alright that was give me plugs or else. Oh my god I've never been threatened in a plugs theme. We had time for the length of that song though. Not to help me though. Yeah unfortunately. That was by my best friend Matt McNamara. Oh.

Thank you to my best friend Matt McNamara. I thought it was possessive. Matt McNamara. Hey have you been to Matt's McNamara? Yeah it's my favorite McNamara by far. It's gone downhill though. No. Really?

Yeah sorry. Just lay down the hill. Mudslides. Mudslides. Mudslides bro. Who's this guy? Mudslides bro. Yeah Mudslides dude.

I want to keep it that way bro. Alright what are we plugging? Ted Newgey. What do you want to plug? Obviously you have a podcast out there. Murder was wrote. Yes murder was wrote. With me and Fred Oldgey.

And we cover all the false crimes that exist or that don't exist. They don't exist. They exist in your mind. Yeah. But that one about Angela Lansbury was too close. It was too close. Because she had died the night before. She really did die yeah.

Yeah yeah. I ran into the paper that morning. I would like to give you the web address of a good website. Okay make sure to put in the HTTP and whether the slashes are forward or backward. I can't because it's been shortened in Libya. What? And it goes like this. That's all I can say.

That's all you want to say? Oh my god I wonder what's going to be there. I'm going to go on it right after this show. This is exciting. Also when does this come out? I don't know. Okay bye. How about you Stormy what do you want to plug here?

I would like to plug. What is so funny? I don't know. I was thinking of something my wife once said. Say it. What did she say? She said I'm leaving you. That was hilarious.

You're reminiscing fondly? It's got to be a practical joke. Hilarious to you. Okay. Alright. I would like to plug Alcoholics Anonymous. Oh like going to it? Sex and love addicts anonymous.

All of the things that will help people be sober because frankly I don't want anyone using crack. Yeah. Do you have any favorite television programs? Anything on like Saturday evenings? I don't watch TV much. Really? Yeah.

Saturday evening, Sunday mornings? I don't watch TV much. No. Much but you must. I love. I would like to plug Mad TV Reboot. Second season. Mad TV Reboot.

Wait the next reboot? No. Wait we're just rebooting the second season? Cut this part out. Wait. I would like to do this over again. Rebooting the second season of Mad TV. Who are the cast members?

On that particular season. Okay wait. I think Andy Daly was gone. I want to do it again. All right. Here we go. I would like to plug. Oh.

Spritey. Spritey. Okay. I'd also like to plug Saturday Night Live. Saturday Night Live. Why? Yeah. Because you know it's the quintessential American program.

It's been on for almost 50 years. Nearly 50 years. How long has 60 minutes been on there? 60 minutes has been on for at least an hour. Yeah. 60 minutes has been the title. Don't say. That's the thing about 60 minutes versus Saturday Night Live.

60 minutes is, it's an accurate title. Well not necessarily because if you count commercials, it's probably less than 60 minutes. If you count commercials? If you count one, two, three, four, count the commercials. If you count the commercials, it is 60 minutes. I count the commercials every two weeks. How many were on last night? Of all the shows I watched?

Yeah. Of all the shows you watched. 120. It's just 20 more commercials than our humans on Earth. I used to. Yeah. But now because Tivo doesn't exist, you just watched the commercials? Yeah.

Okay. I don't know. Just to count. So what? If you count the amount of time commercials take in the program, that's not quite 60 minutes. The program itself, the amount of programming. No, if you don't count the commercials, it's like 45 minutes. I'd also like to plug CBS Sunday Morning, which is a beautiful show that comes on in the

mornings on CBS. That is very accurate. It always ends with a tranquil nature scene, and it begins with an ear splitting trumpet. I like that. No, I'd like to plug some other programs. Yeah. What do you got? Couples Therapy on Showtime.

Oh, okay. Great show. It's a reality TV program. It's good. It's reality TV? What's that show on HBO? Love, is it called? Love.

The show on Netflix called Love? No. No, it's called something else. Season two, it's about love life. Love life. Love life. HBO has removed all their programs. No.

No. Yes, that show, yes. They removed that show. Dream on. That show. And they just raised their prices by a dollar a month. I thought it was by, was it one dollar a month? One dollar.

It's a weird flex to take everything off your platform and then raise prices. We have even less. Give us more money. Yes. And in the email, they were like, so we can make more shit. And it was like. And take it off. And take it off.

That's a wiping. I also like to plug Instagram. Okay. Just generally. As an app. Okay. It's like a nice place to see. I like to plug the internet.

Okay. Well, I'll one up you and I said, I like to plug the sky. I'd like to plug Earth. Okay. Well, I'd like to plug God. I'd like to plug wind. I'd like to plug Earth. I want to plug fire.

She goes from God. He's trying to make a band. He wants me to plug September. September. Do you remember? I do. Yes, I do. You know, I do.

That's one thing we can say about Stormy. She remembers. Okay. Yeah, Stormy remembers. All right, Ricky. What do you want to plug? Well, like I since I've been out of the loop, the one thing, the one good thing I've been able to do is catch up on my favorite guy's podcasts.

He's put out a couple of episodes of his is very good Weezer podcast called what's with these homies talking about Weezer. Yeah. And those have been really fun. And he's now putting out episodes of get played with Nick Weiger and Heather and Campbell so you can keep listening to those. And on their Patreon, they talk about only anime and anime is truly a lot of fun to watch. What about hentai?

You talk about hentai? We have not reviewed any hentai yet. All you need is kill. Yeah. That's where I learned about all you need is kill. And that's patreon.com slash get played. All right. Yes, check that out.

What about manja? Multobene. Yeah. Do you watch manja? You know, you read manja. You read manja. You read manja, you watch anime. And have you ever smoked manja?

I've smoked manja. Yes. Smoked manja. Manja? Can I still do that? Can I still do that? Respect my neck. I mean, I heard a detective or some Nikko host on an earlier portion of the podcast doing

quite a questionable accent. So I think you can still do that. I want to plug, look, the comedy bang bang book called comedy bang bang the book or no, comedy bang bang the podcast, the book is coming out in April and you can preorder it now. Just go to CBBworld.com slash book. Also when you're at CBBworld, you can get a subscription. We have all of our past episodes plus ad free episodes.

If you're tired of listening to me talk and do the ads, you can go over there and subscribe. And we also have other shows CBB presents. We have, I believe an entrepeneur showed came out recently, which is entrepeneur's entrepreneur tour. And yes. I like when they insert ads into a podcast that the hosts don't read. And it's like, you're going to listen to your fun podcast and it's like, blood loss is no joke.

You need blood to live or whatever it is. How come I haven't gotten an ad for blood? Blood hasn't sponsored this show. I've been writing to hosts of podcasts to please take those out. I think that's a really good thing to do. You write them personally? Yeah, I write them personally. Please just take, hey, could you remove those ads from your podcast from about blood?

Yeah. Yeah. I love writing to podcasts. Yeah. I love, yeah. That's all I do all day. Yeah. Where's all the time go?

Yeah. Well. Indeed. All day I dream about writing podcasts. So go to CBB world and get all your shows there. All right. Let us close up the old plug bag. So we take them up and shut them tight and then doors are made for locking.

So we take our key and make it right. We turn it to the right. Oh, no, that unlocked it. It's time to open the plug bag. Open the plug. Open the plug. Open the plug. Open the plug.

Open the plug. Open the plug. Everybody loves it. I'm broken and turned into the right head. Open the plug. Open the plug. Open the plug. When you're feeling really bad, then the mood is right.

You've got to get your friends together and open up the plug. Open. Good. Oh, yeah. That was great. That was a thousand bags by our good friend, actually Simpson. Thanks so much to actually Simpson for that remix. Keep them coming, guys.

That makes it so much more palatable than the original version. Yeah. The original version is not good. It's bad. Oh. Yeah. It's bad. I acted like I knew it and I didn't know it.

Yeah. You've never heard this show, have you? No. It's not lonely. We'll come back any time. Thank you, my wife. Will you be my wife? Borat?

What? My wife Borat. You're married to Borat, too? Borat's two-timing me? I'm married to Borat, too. His brother. Oh, we had the director on recently. He does the same act as Borat.

Oh, yeah. Well, guys, I want to thank you so much. Ted, always a pleasure to see you. You know, we just met. Thank you. Stormy. We're talking to someone else. Stormy, always a pleasure to talk to you.

Well, thanks. You're telling on yourself. You're off to the valley. Uh-oh. I've been to the valley once or twice, if you know what I'm saying. And Ricky, go to the desert. Can you take me, please? Yes.

You want me to take you to the... Can I sit in the back? Can you buy gas? The desert bus is fun. The show videos. I didn't have a job during the loop, babe. Stop talking like Dennis Miller and I'll drive you to the desert. All right?

I get no respect. All right. You can talk like Rodney. All right. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye.