Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Paul F. Tompkins, Mitra Jouhari, Lisa Gilroy
Episode Date: October 2, 2023Ballroom dancing instructor Dolores Brainwater joins Scott to talk about making a fortune dancing, her former dancing partner/sweetheart, and M*A*S*H. Then, intern Casey from Ohio stops by to talk abo...ut working on the reality show Botched. Plus, concerned citizen Cockroach Rick drops by to talk about getting into politics.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Dr. Doctor, give me the news. I got a bad case of short-term memory loss. Dr. Doctor,
give me the news. I got a bad case of short-term memory loss. Dr. Doctor, give me the news.
I got a bad case of short-term memory loss. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.
Whew. Boy, that was three mouthfuls. Thank you so much to Macville.
That's a wife. Oh, hey, shibby. And the more the two mouthfuls, it's wife.
It's so great to hear from you, Shibby.
Good to see you, man.
What's going on, man?
I've got you.
Oh, you got to go already.
All right.
Bye.
Oh, man, Shibby's in and out so quick, but that's the way he likes it.
Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition.
We have a great show coming up a little later.
We have an intern.
Wow, boy, I thought the strike was just about to end.
No, we have an intern.
We also have a concerned citizen.
Okay, a concerned citizen.
When do we start having Hollywood stars back?
Not quite sure, but we have an intern and a concerned citizen coming up.
And but first let's get to our first guest.
My name is Scott Ockerman, by the way.
Uh, this is someone who has never been on the show before.
No, it's not a big Hollywood star who finally agreed
to do a podcast.
No, it's a very nice old lady that we're gonna talk to
and find out a little bit about.
Please welcome to the show for the first time.
Deloria's brain water.
Scott, hello. Thank you for having me on your show.
It is such a pleasure, Deloria.
It's so nice to meet you.
Do I say that correctly?
Deloria's?
Delo-
You put a little, you put a little flare on me.
That may have been accidental.
That's all right.
I didn't mind it.
I was down to the exotic.
Concentrating so hard on the brain water part of it
that I let Deloria's just fly out the way it came out. Now why don't you havecentrating so hard on the brain water part of it that I let Dolores just fly out the way it
came out. Now why don't you have to concentrate so hard on the brain water pool. It is certainly not a
common last name. I mean I guess we all have it in our bodies. There's your brain sloshing around
in water right? Or is it brain fluid? I guess it might be brain fluid. Yeah. Spinal fluid, no that's
down in the spine. You get everything, everything have it don't fluid, foot fluid. No, that's down in the spine. You get everything. Doesn't everything have a tone fluid?
Foot fluid. I guess it's like a car.
There's a brake fluid. You can't put brake fluid anywhere else in the car.
We're like cars.
People. They're just like cars.
That's like something from a magazine.
You see at the supermarket, check out stars.
They're just like cars.
That right.
And then it like there's a picture of a star
carrying their baby or walking their dog
or holding a big Starbucks thing.
And then there's a car that looks just like it next to it.
What if the car ends up from car books?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
I'd love to.
As I love you.
If stars go to Starbucks, then cars must go to car books.
This is what cars four was going to cover, but
cars for kids cars for kids. You just short make the cars for cars for kids was putting out a
newsletter for a while. Andy was there was going to be a big big issue of this, but
welcome to Laura. Is it so wonderful to meet you. Well, thank you. It's wonderful to meet you. Pretty nice old woman. Well, I mean, I am of a certain age. It's true.
I'm sorry. That was the information given to me. A nice old lady. It wasn't that information corrected immediately.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did you not? I did not hear that or was I not supposed to say all I'm just wondering.
Uh, no, I don't. I didn't say anything. Oh, no, then it was not correct.
Now, we're made for the first time.
We are.
I walked, I heard the theme music and I walked in here.
Yes.
And I quickly whispered in your ear.
Can I be on your show?
That was how it took place.
Yeah.
And I immediately heard.
I knew you were.
You are.
And I was like, let's put you in A block.
Because all I have is an intern and a concerned citizen coming up
Can I stick around you? I hope you will
I want to meet both
But tell me a little bit about yourself. They of course the show has an open door policy and anyone who comes in and you were polite enough to whisper
Sometimes there's a shout well your lady doesn't yell in the middle of a room, especially when a theme song is playing.
That's a wonderful rule of thumb to live by. Well, you know, I'm from Columbia South Carolina. Columbia South Carolina.
Yes. And we, you know, we have a certain kind of etiquette down there where, you know, we're a little old-fashioned genteel if you like, but a lady never yells during a theme song.
Right, so even on a sitcom say the Barney Miller theme song of which I couldn't know why I said that
but I couldn't even sing it if I... There was a gunpoint in my head. It's one of the bleakest and most The presence it comes theme song Badadon
Badadon
And then it's just kind of a free associate
Boy jazz musicians when they stopped having theme songs they were so out of luck
What was the last one that court? I think so that was well
The whole phrasier had one of course that he famously sang about his salad and school legs. Do you feel
Like at the end of the show
It's Frazier singing it or it's Kelsey Grammar singing it are we too believe me in the very last episode
Yeah, in the very last episode of Frazier
It's suddenly the curtain pulls back that's right. It's Kelsey grammar. He at a microphone. He's going, no, no, don't look at me.
I'm not crazy right now.
But do you know what I mean?
I do.
Yeah.
Are we supposed to think it's the character phrase?
You're crazy.
Because the character does not have a propensity for singing.
You know, I think there was an episode of Cheers
where he's saying a little bit of Gilbert and Sullivan.
Of course he did.
I gotta check that one out.
But you simply have to.
It's not one of his listed hobbies.
Here, hold on a second.
Let me dig in my purse here for a second.
All right.
Here, here's that season of Cheers.
Oh, wow.
That's an eight video cassette set.
That's right.
Even though I said DVD, it is.
I call them all DVDs.
Yeah.
Because that was the format you started with.
So you call everything a DVD.
That's right.
And you went back and collected some pictures.
I was like, what?
I like these red candles.
They look like books.
I want to book you.
Well, this is so kind of you so that you know it's from this season.
I know it from this season.
You haven't color coded, I see.
Yes, I do.
Is it one of the colors regarding Gilbert and Sullivan?
Yeah.
Okay, is that the short true, I'm seeing?
Is that?
No, lavender.
Lavender.
Okay, wonderful.
Short truth is the Rebecca Hall years.
What's your name, Rebecca?
Oh, uh, Kersi Alley's? Yeah. What's your name? Rebecca? Oh, uh,
Kirstie Ali. Yeah. What was her name? What was her last name? Rebecca, do
you you're pretty sure it's Rebecca though? Yep. So I mean, Hall, Rebecca
Hall's an actor. That's not it could be. And Rebecca was in a few halls on the
show cheers. Oh, that's true. Do you think that's where the actor Rebecca Hall
got her stage? Oh, it's one of the show cheers. Oh, that's true. When you look at the show. Do you think that's where the actor will record all got her stage?
No.
Oh, it's one of the reporters questions.
How?
Of course, with the E on the E.
Exactly.
How come more people don't have questions as early as they'd like?
Like what's with the E at the end?
Yeah.
And where without the E.
Oh, your name is Wait.
No, it's what?
Well, Tom Wait.
John Wait.
That's a different, that's a different kind of wait.
A true.
Wait, which way are you talking about?
I'm saying if you saw WHATE, you'd probably say,
is this pronounced Wait?
WHATE.
Oh, what is, is how I'm saying it?
WHATE, I feel like you're hearing some things that I'm saying, but not all I'm trying to keep up with because you're you're working
It's like three dimensional chess. I don't know about four toes in front of you anymore deliberately than this car
This is a deliberate as I get I would love to hear you talk a little less deliberately because I feel like you're
Accusing me I feel like I'm on trial. You know you you're on track. I tell you what, you're guilty of being a perfect
gentleman. Oh, thank you so very much.
Lock him up. Lock him up. Oh, here are my wrists. We're playing a game. We're playing a game
right now. That's fun. That's fun. So to look at general's game. Oh, no, that was
the poor. That game that the Mr. Police snowman guy played with the police. Was he playing the game or was he just a helpful citizen who also happened to be the murder?
You know, I did not see the snowman, so I don't want 80 spoilers for it.
Have you seen the snowman?
No.
Did anybody?
Very famous at campaign.
We all know Mr. Police.
I gave you all the clues.
Sure, but we'd know never then took that information and crossed over into seeing the movie.
Do you know what, when I think of that picture
of that snowman, he's so cute.
He's so cute.
Why didn't I see that movie?
Cause if that snowman was in there,
I absolutely would have loved it.
Was it about a snowman that comes to life and kills people?
No, that's Jack Frost.
Oh, right, but not the Jack Frost that my friend was in.
No, mine is well being though, for a terrifying
is that creature was, but I believe that it was a killer
who put people inside a snowman.
Inside snow.
Oh, the ultimate indignity.
If I'm killed by the way by a killer,
kill me. Go ahead, do whatever you want.
Didn't do whatever you want with my body.
Fuck me, do whatever you want. But do whatever you want with my body fuck me do whatever you want
But don't put me in a snowman
I'll be dead. I don't care that's where you go the land
I don't want to be a fucking snowman. Okay. What are you really thought about this? And out god the thought of it. I would have mined it. You would like it, really, why is it?
I like it.
Well, because it gives people a full of surprise.
Little button nose, cold fur eyes.
Eyes made out of cold.
A corn cob pipe.
Sure, no, oh yeah.
Can you imagine smoking a corn cob pipe?
How come in the year of our alert 2023,
we did people start using the carrot for the nose
because it used to be the button from that's how I know
But maybe they maybe someone then turned a snowman or snow person to the side good
I don't want to be canceled that was a clouds one. It's turned it turned it to the side and said this is not three-dimensional
This nose isn't sticking out like a proper nose would and then they thought, carat and they ran to the kitchen.
And they said, these cows,
they are exactly the right dimensions.
Yes, another dimension?
Another dimension.
Dolores, tell me about yourself,
you're from South Carolina.
That's right.
Columbia.
Columbia, South Carolina.
I'm at Ballroom, Dating Instructor.
Really, you are.
Yes, I am. Oh, really? So you know the cha-cha, the quick step, dancing instructor. Really, you are. Yes, I am.
Oh, we are.
Oh, we are.
Oh, we are.
So you know the cha-cha, the quick step, the rest.
Yeah.
Wow.
I know the jive.
The jive.
That's almost too wooky.
We've seen one episode of Dancing with the Stars
because our friend was on it.
Well, some of us may have seen many seasons of
so you think you can dance.
Oh, okay.
I believe I walk through the room occasionally with that's on.
But,
ooh, like a ghost.
Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Like a TV, a TV ghost.
TV ghost, they're like,
ooh, who was that spirit?
I felt it, you.
Someone watching me.
Someone glancing at my TV.
So you teach this to a certain age group?
I teach it to anybody who wants to learn to dance.
You take all comes.
And children who don't want to,
but the parents make them.
Sure, okay.
Anyone who has $25 or I don't know how much you charge.
I do it for free.
You do it for free.
Yes.
Do you make house calls?
I do make house calls.
I'll show up to your house and teach you.
Really, dance. So this is just like, why do you do it for free? Is this a fun hobby that you enjoy? Do you make house calls? I do make house calls. I'll show up to your house and take care of you. Really?
So this is just like, why do you do it for free?
Is this a fun hobby that you enjoyed?
Or have you, is this something you've done
for decades for free?
I've been a dancer all my life.
And I'm the only, well, this sounds boastful.
But I'm the only dancer who ever made money
to retire on from dance. Oh my God. Yeah.
I've known so many dancers over the years grew up doing musical theater. No one has a red
send to their name. You made money at this. I made so much money dancing because I was a bit of
I would make it a bit of a spectacle when I would dance. I would do. Well, I would do all the classical dances.
This is a solo performance.
It's a solo performance normally done by two people.
Oh, okay.
But I would enter ballroom dancing competitions
as Lady On One Side, gentlemen, on the other side.
Oh, class.
I love that costume.
Everyone loves it.
Yeah.
Now, they wasn't going to let me in. And I said, just. Everyone loves it. Yeah. Now they wasn't gonna let me in.
And I said, just give me a chance.
Just give me a chance.
And they said, well, you can't win
because you're not two people.
And I said, just give me a chance.
Have they not seen the other side of you at this point?
No, they saw, I was looking right at him.
So they could see both sides.
And they thought that something was wrong with me.
Real, oh, they thought mentally.
I suppose. Right, yeah. You know, they didn't specify. Probably not physically. They said something was wrong with me. Oh, they thought mentally. I suppose.
Right.
You know, they didn't specify.
Probably not physically.
They said something's wrong with you.
And they did not say mentally.
Right.
They didn't say like, oh, you have a hunchback or anything like that.
They were talking mentally, probably.
I think so.
That would be pretty rude.
Maybe weird.
Yeah.
There's something wrong with you.
You have a hunch.
It's like, yeah, I know.
I've seen a dog about this.
It's not used to me.
So but then they let you in somehow.
They let me, well, I'll tell you a story.
I snuck past.
They didn't let me in.
I just went in there.
I grabbed a hold of the microphone.
Okay.
And I introduced myself as a couple.
Okay.
And then I came out there and everyone was laughing at me.
They thought I was ridiculous food.
They was tittering and sniggering and all the things you do.
All the little words for life.
Sure, yeah, there's so many of them.
We can diglin'.
Sure, we can sit here listening them
but we don't have time on this part.
We don't have time.
But it's so fun if you can get to a Thessaurous and look up Tittering and so many wonderful
words.
Chordling.
Chordling is one of them, but we don't have time on this program.
But if you can, and if you don't have a Thessaurous at home, I believe there's some online
resources you can use.
There are.
I've used all of the Thessaur.com. Sometimes it's not as comprehensive.
No.
Maybe as you'd like to be.
You could download app.
Sure.
Download an app as a great.
Yeah, the source.com, not very comprehensive.
Like if you put in short into the source.com,
it'll say not tall.
And then the shrug emoji.
And is the shrug emoji meant to imply short as well?
Or they can't say that.
I don't think so.
I think because it's at the, it's tagged on a lot of their different entries.
But, but if you can get to one of those, just please do it.
Just enter it.
We don't have time on this show, certainly.
No.
But if the show horse is a wonderful thing, it's a wonderful resource you can use to just
broaden your language skills.
I feel bad that I say it, the source is a wonderful thing.
Yeah, because if you look up thing in the,
the, the,
I don't.
Yeah.
Product.
I'll get.
This is fun.
Yeah, there's so many.
We don't have time for this.
But we don't have time for any of this.
But if you can get to a the source,
it's a wonderful way to spend an afternoon
just looking up words going like, Oh, I know this word. I wonder what other word is just
a wonderful wonderful wonderful way to spend an afternoon. It's truly truly is. Absolutely.
And then those are afternoons. Sometimes they turn into weeks. That's right. And those
weeks turn into months and then just eventually you're dead. You were you were in but not
us. No, we're still here.
And we're having a great conversation.
We truly all.
So now they were, they were chordeling at you.
They were laughing.
They said this, this young lady,
they opted that I was a lady.
She was that happy.
She lost her mind.
Right.
And I said, I'm gonna show them all.
And then they said this,
and I said it to myself, I'm mother-dipped.
You mothered it. So, so they think you're crazy and you or not. I said it to myself. I'm muddled it. You're muddled.
So they think you're crazy and you're sitting there
and muddling things to yourself.
Well, I wasn't sitting there.
I was tracking a pose.
I was getting ready to start my dance.
Right.
It's where the music begins.
It's a bossa nova.
Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, there? No, I'm, well, that's just my impression of us. No, it was eerie. Okay.
I'm like a TV ghost.
So I start moving and the people,
well, they shut their mouths right quick.
Really?
Because they saw that I was able to accurately
give the impression that I was dancing
both sides of the dance with myself.
Both sides.
You got it in.
Remember him?
You missed the first one.
Gotta go in and let it go.
But then you got this one.
That's where it was.
Get the clear.
So you were doing the double the number of steps that a person actually does.
That's correct.
That's correct.
And of course, I'm turning back and forth so they can see the male and the female partner. Right. And the genius thing
about this, and I bet this is the reason you made so much money, you don't have to split the
prize money. This is what it comes down to. And that's the only reason you were doing, because you
probably had so many willing partners you could have done. Well, there's another reason. What's that?
any willing partners you could have done. Well, there's another reason.
What's that?
Oh no, Dolores, are you all right?
I'm fine.
There was a time when I did have an actual partner.
Okay.
His name was Arthur.
Okay, and so he quit or you fired him?
Neither. He was my sweetheart. His name was Arthur. Okay, and so he quit or you fired him what neither?
He was he was my sweetheart. I learned how to dance from him. Really? He was your instructor.
He was my boyfriend. Oh, okay. And de facto instructor, but I did not hire him. But there wasn't an age difference.
I mean, there was a difference. I'm sure because not everyone is born on the same day. No, we were. Oh, you were.
We were born the exact same day.
Is that how you meant?
Yeah, in the hospital.
Really?
What a wonderful story.
We were both born at 501 AM.
AM, that's hard on the parents.
They've been up all night.
They've been up a coach.
How long were you, you're in labor?
Uh, both of our parents were in labor for 45 minutes.
That's not too long, that's pretty good.
That's manageable.
Yeah, that's what they both said.
Yeah.
Both of our mother said, you were manageable, baby.
But that's one of the things where 45 minutes, okay,
so you're getting in there at 415,
drive to the hospital's maybe a half hour.
Well, they live next door to the hospital.
They do, oh really?
So it's just a walk across the street.
And it's a walk across the street. And Arthur's next door. Yeah. And do oh really so just a walk across the street Arthur's next door yeah and then Arthur's parents they don't know other side of the
house just street in between why I'm just imagining this city if I were a hospital I don't I don't
know I'd want the parking lot to be not on an accessible street but you're but it was right next
door really it was right do you think the parking lot counts as the street?
Do I think a parking lot counts as the street?
Like if you have a drive where you turn into the parking lot, do you think that counts as the street?
I do not. I think a street counts as the street.
The parking lot, I would call that a parking lot.
Oh, I like the way you think.
I just imagine that maybe, well, anyway.
So now go ahead. I like the way you think. I just imagine that maybe, well anyway.
So now go ahead.
I just, I would think that a hospital would want
accessible streets on all four sides of the hospital.
Unless it's a circular or a Pentagon.
Have you ever seen a Pentagon hospital?
No, not in a long time, but they don't make them
that much anymore.
No, and sometimes the five sides are not the walls, but it'll be,
it'll be like you see three of the sides above ground.
Sure. And then underground.
So it's tilted like a fries electronics.
It's tilted like a fries electronic like the spaceship coming out of one is what
I mean to say that's right.
So this was a small town. So there were not a lot of streets. This was the only hospital of course. Okay, and it was only two stories tall. Oh,
really that's that's also manageable. That's also manageable. Yeah. Yeah, and
it's not a parody of tenacious these. That's also true. Who?
Nevermind.
So
we were inseparable. Wow. We since from the day you were born from So, we were inseparable.
Wow.
Since from the day you were born from the day we were admitted.
We started crying at the same time.
Right when you were born?
Yeah.
And that we were crying in harmony.
That's how we knew because the nurses said, what?
So it wasn't like that.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow,
what are you doing?
I'm trying to do a cry in harmony with you.
Have you ever heard a baby cry?
Once or twice, maybe.
Cause it's just like,
I usually pass it off to the nanny.
Right.
It's just like a wordless scream.
They're not actually going, wow, wow, wow.
I've heard one say, wow, wow, wow,
I think it was mocking me.
Yeah, probably.
It was rubbing his eyes very comically too and pointing at me.
And it was a grown man.
Now I remember.
Yeah, that was the baby.
So what happened to what was his name again?
Arthur Arthur.
What happened to Arthur?
He went off to a wall war and he never come back. No, which one?
Afghanistan? No, it was before that. Which one? Keep going. The Falklands. Keep going.
Back even further than the Falkland Islands. Vietnam. Maybe Maybe was that one?
That one it was called the Vietnam. Vietnam. Yeah.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Was it it was around 1960, late 60s through early 70s?
Yeah.
Richard Nixon was involved.
That's right.
Send a lot of people over there.
Started with a little bit of being jokes.
Sam.
Right.
Yeah.
And then it continued and
direct your next
and now houses is maybe
it certainly is.
Is it not?
And was was.
Of course.
I don't know.
Do you do lose your middle name
when you die?
Yeah.
It goes back into the pile.
Until he died.
No little kid could have the
middle name.
Mill House.
Wow. You had it unlocked. Yeah. until he died no little kid could have the middle name mail house.
Wow.
You had it unlocked.
Yeah.
So, orser, I think it went off to the Vietnam War.
It could have been Korean.
Oh, that sounds familiar to you.
That was in the more in the 50s, 60s.
That's right.
Wait, hold on a second.
Mash lasted longer than the Korean War.
He didn't die in a war. He died on the second. Mashed lasted longer than the Korean War. Can you imagine?
He didn't die in a war.
He died on the state of Mashed.
He died, oh, okay.
What was he, was he a, a dance instructor?
A actor, a fan.
A actor.
Oh, I can see how you would get confused though.
There's a lot of people wearing fatigues.
That's right.
People being fatigued.
I mean, the hours that the actors have,
that's why they're on strike, you know.
Okay. They want to work one less hour a day. Is that Oh, that's why they're on strike, you know. Okay.
They want to work one less hour a day.
Is that all?
That's all I want.
Give it to him, I say.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Nice 13 hour day.
Yeah, that's all they want is a 13 hour day.
So, so your husband was teaching.
He was hard.
He was going to teach Frank Burns how to do the
Lindy Hop. Wow. And was this for the show or this was a no.
The actor Larry Liannville, he had a very important engagement
coming up. Great. Had to do the Lindy Hop. And he had to do the
Lindy Hop. And of course, like all actors, he lied and said he
knew how to do it. Oh, okay. And and so he said, I need somebody to teach me how to do the Linda.
Maybe this was for strictly ballroom.
And that's why it took so long to then get made after he dropped out.
What?
The multi-strictly ballroom?
Yeah, I imagine that Arthur is there something about this movie that we know it took a long
time.
I'm just assuming.
That's a big leap scout.
I'm assuming Larry Lindville got the part in strictly ballroom.
Arthur came over to teach him how, died on the set.
Then Larry Lindville dropped out.
13 years later it gets made fine.
They finally find an actor who could do it.
When was that movie made?
Really made, right?
What is 13 years after Mace?
I don't say after Mace, by the way.
Why?
Because that's a terrible, terrible spin-off show.
Oh, no.
What's that, man?
I think it was.
I remember being very interested to watch the first one.
I believe it came on.
It was a two and a half hour long final episode
of Mace and then a half hour episode of After Mace.
And everyone's very excited.
It was so moved by those rocks that Mike Ferrell puts out that says goodbye to to Alan Alder,
whatever his character's name was.
Arthur was buried under those rocks.
It was.
They served as his head stone.
Rit so goodbye.
Yeah.
Was actually for Arthur.
He was Arthur saying goodbye to me.
To you and that's how you found out?
Yeah.
By watching the final episode, thank God you were watching me. To you and that's how you found out? Yeah. By watching the final episode,
thank God you were watching me.
Everyone was.
I got a note at the time when the episode ended,
when you saw goodbye, I sped out rocks.
I got a note that said,
knock on the door.
And the note said knock on the door, so I did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Didn't somebody open the door and said,
oh, it's just not for the door, man. So wait, so someone slips a note onto your door. So, wait, so someone slips and goes out to your door.
Yes, not on the door.
And you don't do.
There's a person on the other side.
Who slipped you the note?
Who slipped the note?
Open the door.
And then I just surprise it.
Oh, I'm just about to ring the doorbell.
This is so complicated.
But I've scum.
I'm as flammergasted as you are.
So, oh my gosh, so then, then this person tells you what,
tells you that, that could buy that you just saw.
It said, turn the note over.
And I did.
And it said, Arthur has paced.
He paced on the state of Mesh.
And what you just saw on the television along with all of America
was Arthur's Cravestone.
This is such an eye-to-eye-ing story.
Immediately booked a flat to Korea.
Because I forgot that they shouted in Burbank.
Yeah, yeah.
And so I went all the way to Korea.
And I said, where is it?
Where is the big stone?
Goodbye.
And everybody said, what?
There's something wrong with you. Now this you
did not have a hunchback as far as you. I still didn't. And I still don't. But I may get one
eventually. Sure. Yeah. Everyone does. Yeah. I may have a doubt what yours. Well, that's a terrible
terrible story. Did you ever figure out where I'm sorry. I'm doing the best I can. No, no. I mean,
you was told excellently the content within. I didn't know we were the best I can. No, no, I mean, you was told excellently, the content within is.
I didn't know we were going judge the stolen.
No, no, no, no, I just knew the events of your life.
I know all of your life, twain or anything.
The events of your life are tragic
is what I'm trying to say.
Oh, yeah, it's a wonderful story told by a beautiful,
beautiful woman.
Well, thank you very much.
Well, I'm sorry that Arthur could not be your partner
any longer.
And so I vowed on that day, when I got after I got back home.
It's like two weeks later probably.
Yeah. I did spend some time with Green.
I mean, it's beautiful country.
Yeah, I mean, you're there.
Yeah.
You probably spent your dancer's life savings up to that point to get out there.
Which is not much because I did have a partner.
You're splitting it with Arthur.
That's right.
But I also had money from selling Girl Scout cookies
from when I was a child.
I hoarded that money gillously.
Oh, okay. Wow.
Really?
I was the top sales girl in Columbia.
And incredible.
Congratulations.
And you could, incredible.
I was frightened of how incredible I was.
Victor, did you rob your rabbit? Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled Crackled then smash cut to you win this contest. That's right. And that sets you off on.
People were blown away.
Oh, I bet they would be.
I wish I was there to see it.
There was grown men with tears in their eyes.
Grown men?
They don't usually have tears in their eyes.
No!
Topsy, my skill in it is.
Yeah, they learned to hide their feelings.
They were crying at seeing something so beautiful
that was done by a woman.
Half woman. Sometimes they did anyone mistake you for?
I don't think anybody actually thought that I was half a man and half woman split right
down.
I like to see one.
But I didn't talk to everybody.
That's true.
Yeah, you should have pulled the audience afterwards.
I did ask five people, did you think I was half man, half woman?
That's a good sample.
No, we knew it was makeup on one side.
And I said, okay.
Yeah.
So, I'd like to see one of those half and halfs one day.
I hope you wouldn't call them that to their face.
Is that what they like to be known as?
I don't have we established that exist.
Like I'd like them to be a big mustache.
Do you think what people went to the circus or what have you the freak show? Mm-hmm.
And they saw somebody doing that.
Were they actually duped?
Yeah, I mean, there was so, there's a few things back then, items.
You know what I mean?
Like, I think that someone was there.
Elephants.
There was elephants, but I mean, you would see maybe one in a lifetime.
Little guys.
Little guys.
Oh, we're just talking about things
that the items at the circus.
Facial hair lady.
Facial hair lady.
There's probably a guy who can hold up a light bulb
and it turns on.
Light bulb guy.
Yeah.
Soarchwoller.
Soarchwoller guy who holds up rings.
I don't know what he does with them,
but he holds them up.
I think you're thinking of like,
one frame of like a magic trick. That's all I need by the way. One frame. That does it for me. I love that. I'm amazing. You just
need to see a guy with his hand in a hat. Yep. Oh, I love it. How to get it in there.
All right. I'm walking away. A lady in a box with her head and feet sticking in.
Yeah, still together.
Well, I don't want to see what comes next.
Nothing but good.
Nothing good can come out of this.
What'd you call that person a half and a half?
I've been maybe behind their back.
Yeah.
Someone who's been cut in half at the at the midsection, at the waist, at the waist.
Yeah.
And they're still alive and they're moving.
Yeah, they're still like moving their foot back and forth.
Yeah, I probably would.
And they're turning and looking at the audience and winking.
I think if I were in a viewing imagine show,
yeah, I'd shout out at the stage.
You're a half and half now.
Don't you wear you'd get tall stand of the club.
No, the big, big, I am.
Big, burly bounce or come down.
That's gonna toss me out.
All I do is I stand up and then they're like,
ooh, the coward.
Cause you think the bounce is like four foot tall?
Yeah, probably, right.
Have you ever been to a place?
A location?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, I'm on the store.
Any at all?
No, I'm zooming out macro style.
I think so.
I believe I've been to at least three.
Name them.
Shit.
I knew it.
This room?
Oh, it's good.
The other room.
Oh, it's even better.
The room next to that.
You got me.
Well, Dolores, this is wonderful.
So you retired on your dancing money.
That's right.
And now I teach other people today.
Are you teaching people to do the same double steps, male, female?
It is the only thing that I can teach.
And soon, and people want this.
Oh, they won't.
Mm-hmm.
And soon my army.
Oh, no, of dangers. We'll take over the dance space. Oh, no, of dangers.
We'll take over the dank space.
Oh, just the dance space.
God, I thought you were going to say the world for the United States
or something like that.
Boy, the world or the United States.
That's my world.
I want to irrevocably change the face of the dance.
That's fine, by me.
And make it a face where once I, as a lady and once I as a main.
I'm good with it. Just take over the dance space. As long as it's not the world.
Okay. Do you want to cure a future plan? Or would you prefer?
Yeah, give me like your five year plan. We're going to take over the world.
Shit. Yeah. Well, hopefully you'll be so satisfied with taking over the dance space.
That'll just kind of like, you'll be good after that.
But I mean, it's not getting a tattoo where you get one
and then you gotta get a bunch.
They get less and less meaningful as you go off.
You get addicted to the feeling of it,
is that what happens?
You get bored with the one you have,
it's what happens.
And then you're like, this is very meaningful to me.
My son's name on my forearm.
If you could, if like you,
yeah, I was run, go ahead.
There was more.
There was more.
Oh, go ahead.
No, it's all right.
Son's name on your arm.
And then eventually you're getting like,
Ms. Pac-Man.
On your,
because you liked it,
what you're doing with your foot.
Sure.
That sounds like a terrible place to get a tattoo.
Very painful, I would imagine.
The skin's very thin.
Skin's very thin. skin's very thin. The skin's very thin.
Skin's very thin.
The skin's very thin.
We didn't get a chance to warm up
because you whispered in my ear.
That's not right before the show.
So I'm glad we got that out of the way.
Well, Dolores, you're a wonderful older woman.
Was that, no, you're a nice woman.
Which words did you not want me to say?
I can't put the toothpaste back in the two.
You're old.
I'm an old lady.
But you, but I, you're a wonderful.
Old enough, have a husband who died in the Korean war on the TV show, Mesh.
So at least by 1982, which is when I believe that, uh, and, and how long were you married?
We were married for three days.
Only three days and you'd know each other your entire life.
Since childhood, infancy.
And why did you suddenly decide to get married?
I wasn't sure if it's what I wanted to do.
Right.
And then one day I just knew.
Wow.
And then three days later, you disappeared.
Was it a three day train trip to get out to the Burbank, the set of mash as well, from South Carolina.
I did not go.
Right, that's what I mean, is like, you got married, you got on a train immediately, like,
I got this job, I got to go.
Oh, yeah, that's exactly what happened.
Wow, and then he died.
And he died.
So you only had wedded bliss of maybe approximately 45 minutes?
As long as the...
It wasn't, he didn't leave a immediate left of the ceremony.
So you know, you had a honeymoon.
Well, I'm trying to get that in a mood.
Did you do it?
Did we smash?
Yeah.
Yes, we did.
Congratulations.
That's all I wanted to hear.
Oh, no, look, I, I, I, just because I only had one husband,
does not mean I didn't enjoy my time.
Okay.
So you got that, you got that one night at least.
Not to be unlady like, but I was a bit of a town pump.
What's your body?
What's your body count?
Oh, it's in double digits for sure.
Double digits.
So at least 10.
I bail to remember the tenth.
All right, all right.
Why are we high five? I don't know what to do. All right, all right. Why are we high five?
I don't know what to do.
All right.
Well, the lawyer's natural and sex is fun.
As such, as sex is passed, though, counterpoint
when it's one on one.
Yeah, I don't know.
Agreed.
Okay.
All right.
Well, we'll talk about that in another episode.
The lawyer's you can signal.
Oh, I'm definitely be back.
Because we have a big show.
We have an intern.
Oh, I forgot about the intern. Yeah we have a big show. We have an intern. Oh, I forgot about the intern.
Yeah, that's coming up in B block.
And then in C block, a concerned citizen,
we're going to come right back.
We'll have more Dolores, Greenwater,
more comedy gangbang.
We'll be right back after this. Tumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumum Bang bang we're back. We have of course Dolores brain water here. Ha! Very nice old woman who has come to visit us for the first time.
Hopefully not the last. We'd love to see you back here.
We are let. She know. Do you have any other interesting things that have happened?
You other than your high sexual number of people that you've banged.
I mean, I've been struck by lightning seven times.
Seven times, really. In one night.
In one. Okay. We got to talk about that another time.
Put that in your back pocket for your next appearance.
All right, I hope I remember.
All right, but I hope I remember.
But I hope we both remember.
Let's make a promise to each other.
Let's remember.
Let's each remember it on alternating nights.
Okay, who wants to take first shift?
Okay, I'll do it tonight.
Okay.
And then you do it on Tuesday, then I'll do it Wednesday,
you do it Thursday. But see the thing with seven days in the week, we're all, we're always going
to be wondering like, wait, who does it on Sundays? Oh, that's right. Who did the last Sunday? Who did,
what did was there over a time when the the week was just six days? I think it should be 10,
everything should be 10. Everything should be 10. The year should be 100 days.
Week should be 10 days.
Should be 10 weeks, day, year.
Should be 10 hours long.
They should be 10 hours long.
Like all these 24's, 365, like a fuck off.
I mean, it should be 10 seconds.
Yes.
60's, so many 60's in time.
Like I know the time keeper would disagree with me.
I feel like the clock should be all 10s.
Yes.
10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10.
Like it's a swag from the movie 10 or something,
starring Dudley Moore and Bo Derrick.
That's right. Who else was in that movie?
Who cares?
Good.
Got the two of them.
Good point.
You don't need anyone else.
Box outfit.
Go.
It truly, truly was.
Those braids, she put her hair in.
That's right. You know, a friend of mine sister did that one time. Oh, really It truly truly was. Those braids she put her hair in. That's right.
You know a friend of mine sister did that one time. Oh really? When that was popular. How did that?
I don't know if it was ever popular but after the movie I think there's a few.
A lot of people were trying to replicate that. Yeah. By the way she was not in any way in any sort
of tropical locale. She was just here. I feel it. you. Wonderful. Well, I'd love to see a picture if you can ever dig one up, but we need to get
to our next guest. And intern from Ohio. Okay, great. I wonder, uh, doing interning
of what, but please welcome to the show for the first time, Casey. Hello. Hi, Casey.
Hi, Aukerman. So nice to meet you. You as well. What brings you here to Los Angeles?
You're from Ohio.
You're interning in Ohio, or?
No, I'm from Ohio.
I'm interning in Los Angeles, California,
splitting the time between here and Orange County
for my internship.
Oh, OK.
So Orange County, California, not Florida.
No, yeah, California.
OK.
OK.
OK.
And what are you interning doing? What is the job? I am interning on the set of the TV show botched
Dr. Paul and Dr. Terry. Oh, what is but oh, okay? This is a reality show where they fix what's medical show? Yeah, oh
So it's not real. It's well, it's real, but it's it's a narrative
Well, the narrative is that they're changing lives for people. So people will get sort of like their nose bit off by a dog
or have a lot of like messed up stuff happen to them.
And then Dr. Paul and Dr. Terry will fix it for them
and give them brand new lease on life.
Okay, how often are the dogs biting off the noses on?
Because I'll start watching it
if that's like an everyday occurrence.
It happens more on the show than you would think.
Really?
Yeah. Is it the same type show than you would think. Really? Yeah.
Is it the same type of dog you'll get for time?
No, it's actually dogs of all shapes, sizes, black, brown, purple, gold.
I don't care who you are.
Your dog, your bite, not f**k.
F**k it off.
Here's my theory of why dogs do that.
When they switched snowmen to having carrots for noses,
one of the dogs got really hungry.
Bit off the carrot nose was like,
these noses taste good.
And now they do it for humans.
A lust for carrots.
Yeah, exactly.
Check them.
Yep.
So Casey, what, how many seasons has this show been on?
It's not something I've kept up with, but it's.
Well, there's at least six seasons available
on streaming at this moment.
And so there's about a thousand episodes of season and they fix three people.
Well, they fix two people Porsche per show. And then there's one person that they will not
help. And usually that's someone who's asking for like a third tit or something.
Did you say they fix a Porsche?
Do they also fix cars on this show?
Oh, I wish they would because some of them are pretty busted and they need the help, but unfortunately they have not moved on to cars yet
So a lot of people bring their cars and they turn those down.
They say, could you do that car while you?
And they say, why are you working all by those?
The insurance is not going to cover that.
Does anyone say, well, that's fine. I'll just pay for it and then they go,
they're like, fuck the reason I gave them.
Fine.
Okay, we'll fix your car.
We'll give your car.
We'll give your car a third tip.
Oh, so they fix it in the way they fix everything.
They don't fix it in the way I'm mechanical.
No, no, they give it like a better nose
or they give it a third tip.
Well, they work on the exhaust pipe a little bit.
Yeah.
When people get the third tip,
did they get it in the back or the front?
You can get it anywhere.
That's what's so cool about the third tip
because it doesn't have to be connected to stuff.
So some people get it on the palm of their hand
and that's kind of like a funny thing
for like a handshake or something like that.
It's like a whoopee push on the top.
And this is so.
And this is like a squirt's milk.
Aw.
Like mother.
Like mother.
My mom's British.
So sometimes I say stuff like that.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
So do they ever give the third tick?
Because you said that they turn down the third tick a lot.
You know, they say no off camera, but they always give the third tick.
So they say yes off camera, so they're real.
Oh, wait, they say it's on camera.
So they say no on camera.
They say yes off camera.
They're like, yes.
We have to say that for them.
Because they don't want to encourage you.
They don't do it, but they don't want to encourage you exactly
Right, okay, and have you if they were on you or yeah
Four the thing is is like three
But four hey double double your fun, you know what I mean? That's right. Yeah
I agree, but I guess everyone I like to three
Because it's two for you one for them sure
It's a lot like the Scorsese method were how he makes movies, you know one for me one for them who's how
Howie Mandel he makes movies with Scorsese. Yeah, he's gonna be making he's the new Leo de Caprio to Scorsese
You know it's
Rob De Niro than Leo de Caprio to score Saisy. You know it's Rob De Niro than Leo de Caprio than how he made that.
That's a bold shift.
Yeah, truly.
So what do you do on the show? Do you do the typical
interning grabbing coffee?
Yeah, clean up the buckets of blood after every surgery.
How many buckets of blood after every surgery?
Blood's a lot. It's a lot of blood. And then, you know, we try to
repurpose as much of the blood as we can.
Repurposing. How would you? What else can you do with all the blood?
Donation, paint, all that kind of stuff.
Donation paint.
Well, donation for blood, give it away to people who are needing that.
And then paint all that kind of stuff.
How do you find the people who need blood? Do you put a addout?
I just usually leave it on the sidewalk and whoever needs it will find it.
Like a couch. Yeah. Yeah. You put like a next door notification up like free blood.
I just put a little bit of the blood in right inside walk free.
That usually does it. The blood's gone by the time you check next.
It's always gone. I mean sometimes I look down at my phone and I look up and the blood is gone is gone So it's not just like the things tipped over and there's blood everywhere on the street or oh
I mean, I've never thought to look that far down. No, I mean I look down in my phone and that's as far down as I'm gonna look
Okay, I get it. I understand that's that's plenty far. Yeah down to the phone like we had no one needs to be looking all the way down to the phone
Yeah, no one needs to be looking down any further than about this high and how about look up?
I might be holding a phone. Yeah, sorry. Go ahead. No, no, that's okay. Yeah. No, no, go ahead. No, go ahead and you were saying up what are your
You didn't just cough to get out of saying what you were gonna say right?
Okay
So Casey, have you have you always wanted to work in show business or just this particular show appeal Do you? Um. So Casey, have you always wanted to work in show business
or just this particular show appealed to you?
Well, I didn't really, I was actually gonna try to do
like pre-medicine or something like that
and I didn't ever even begin to think.
What do you mean pre-medicine?
You wanted to get into medicine?
I wanted to get into pre-med and what does that mean?
Like the space before you're in medicine.
So just like learning how to what?
Like, like, stethoscope, like, like, application of that.
And like, and it's for to hear the heart and lungs and stuff like that.
Well, I didn't get that far.
Oh, I got pre-med.
I guess we're all pre-med in the sense of none of us are doctors here.
Exactly.
Right. So I left the family of none of us are doctors here. Exactly. Right.
So I left the family farm and made my way out here.
I applied to be an intern on botch, which is actually
a really easy application process.
You just said, you know, I thought you said Bosch,
the first time you used it.
And then I figured it out.
Because it's not feeling that okay, let go.
Is that the Bosch theme song?
I've only seen one episode.
It's from the original Bosch.
Obviously Bosch legacy has different themes now.
Oh my, my, my, nothing changes.
Did any jazz musicians on those, either of those?
Or a...
Well, no, the Bosch loves jazz.
Bosch, he does love, I got the sense of that
from the first episode that I saw.
He's dog, his name, Coltrane.
That just tells you everything. You need to know about Bosch.
He loves jazz.
A greed.
Yeah.
He's a guy.
He's a guy.
He loves jazz.
He has a dog.
What else do we need to know?
But Bosch is not Bosch.
Bosch is for the doctor.
Bosch is that guy.
Right.
Yeah.
So has there ever been an episode of Bosch where it's not been that guy and it's been these
two doctors
Oh, sign me up if it is I want to be making the
Dude transbo. Yeah, is that what you do? You do trans or you in the transco department?
aspiring okay, so that's where you want to be is you want to be in the passenger fans the past fans that just drive
The actors to set and everything ideally one with a big set of jokes, courtesy of Paul and Terry.
How many cars have tits?
I don't think I've ever seen a car with even one tits,
level on three.
That's what I'm saying.
Have you ever watched her be fully loaded
and been like, where the boobs?
I guess so, I've always thought it was flat as a pancake.
And it's pathetic.
Yeah.
It's got the big, big bumpers, the big
rounded bumpers that all the WBugs have. Yeah, basically asking for a bra. Yeah, but
no, but no tip, but real flat on the underside. And I would do something about that if I had
anything power. Yeah. Do you think you'll get there? Do I think I'll get power? Yeah, I do. I do think I'll get power because
women, it's about time for a man. Yeah, for women to what? To get power. To finally, you
want to flip the, you want to up end the patriarchy. Is that what you, you'd like to do?
Enough's enough. These guys have been cutting up noses and giving people new faces for long enough. I think it's my turn. Yeah. So, so, so, do you think every man who has a job should just
give a woman that job? I think they should be killed and then the work can have it.
Oh, okay. I don't know that I really feel that strongly about it. I think I think we
could just give women the jobs and then we get to relax. We're like on a beach, you know? Mind ties in our hands.
But what about when you get bored?
That's a good point.
I guess I would get bored on a beach
with them.
What are you even talking about?
I'm not gonna get bored.
I just think when guys are away from capitalism
for too long, they get the shakes.
Yeah, that's true.
If we don't see our bank accounts going up, up, up, up, up,
just doubling, tripling, every single year, you know,
it's terrible.
So, but you're a woman, do you like your bank account?
Oh.
Why did you ask me that?
I'm sorry, I mean to ask all my guests, you're a woman.
Yeah. Do you like your bank account?
I love my bank account.
You did really well for yourself.
I did.
You're a capitalist at heart.
True.
Yeah.
You, I mean, you saw an opening.
You don't have, you don't have to split the money anymore.
Nope.
And you just took it.
I think you are.
That's sort of where I was going with this.
Now, dear, what were you saying?
You want to have the power.
I want to have the power. I want to have the power.
I want to be on my own show where I can sort of cut things up,
whether it's a person, a vehicle, a wall, whatever it is.
I just think that there needs to be someone out there
making every space have a prettier nose and tit.
So you're a nose and tit person.
Oh yeah.
Some people are ass and titties, I'm nose and tit. So what do you like in a nose and tit person. Oh yeah. Some people are asking titties, I'm nose and tits.
So what do you like in a nose?
Like what is aesthetically the most pleasing nose to you?
Bone dry inside.
Oh, so no, snot?
No snot.
Yeah, bone dry.
So just like like they've been in the desert.
Yeah, but not like not quite desert because you sometimes get a bloody nose in the desert. Yeah, but not quite desert
because you sometimes get a bloody nose in the desert
because you're so dry.
This is like perfectly temper controlled.
Like a humid, like a Florida heat.
What?
Are you all right?
What's on?
No, it's just humid nose kind of me me.
Oh, you don't like the humid nose.
I don't like a humid nose.
I just want dry, dry heat.
Like you're not too hot, you're not too dehydrated like Joshua tree nose you had
What
Like you had water like an hour ago kind of thing so you're a little hot you're hydrated
But you're not like that doesn't seem bone-dried. That seems like there'd still be some water
Do we have nose fluid? We talked about brain fluid earlier. Do we have nose fluid or is that that's booger? Yeah
brain fluid earlier. Do we have nose fluid? Or is that that's booger? Yeah. And then on the outside. That's like a couple of
pre-manstalking. So on the outside, so we've talked about the inside,
that's that's what how you like it on the inside. What about the
outside? The contours of the known silver stud on the right. Okay,
so pierced, pierced silver stud silver stud on the right. Okay, so pierced. So pierced. Silver stud.
Silver stud on the right.
Septum?
Septum who need them?
Yes.
So you like it just to be a full cavity, no dividing line.
No dividing line, but a little off balance
because there's a stud on the right.
Okay, so it's a heavy stud that's making the wear of it
to sort of tilt their head.
Yeah.
Look at that.
I'm so sour.
Yes, Dolores.
But I think when we were talking about septum,
we met a septum ring.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
You took it as just to get rid of the whole thing.
Oh, I see.
No, you know.
You like the septum. I like that there is a septum. I don't want it to be pierced by metal. I see. No, you know, you like the septum. I like that there is a septum.
I don't want it to be pierced by metal.
I see.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
It knows to be open concept.
You can see what your neighbors working on at their desk.
Exactly.
Like if you're a booger and there's another booger, you can look over at the booger desk and
see what kind of booger work.
I'm worried about the booger.
So I'd like to keep an eye on it.
So it doesn't get, you know, so like I'm working in the one room.
Yeah, exactly.
Kind of like a journalism office.
Yeah, a journalism office.
It's my favorite type of my favorite genre of movies.
All the presidents, man.
I've always been in a movie here.
That one about the spotlight.
Yeah, spotlight.
That's what I was going to say.
Spotlight, you hear the title of that, and you're like, whoo, showbiz, I love it.
And then it's about a bunch of priests who are doing some terrible shit. Boston Strangler is starting cure nightly. Yeah. Yeah. That's so fun. And you see that
paper directed by Ron Hale. Oh yeah. Another great. When you see the Boston Strangler
starring cure nightly, you're like I'd love to see her play a Boston Strangler. And she's just a woman.
There's a worse thing to be. So how long have you been working on the show if you don't mind me asking?
Two weeks.
Okay, so do they like you there?
I think so.
They stopped telling me they hate me.
So they at least probably like me.
I don't know that that's, when did they stop telling you that they hate you?
Like a weekend.
So I got there and I was like, oh, we hate you. Like a weekend. So I got there and I was like, oh, we hate you.
But then now they sort of just go, oh, I'm going to walk in the room.
Okay.
So maybe they were trying to get rid of you, trying to make you leave by yourself.
Yeah.
And you didn't do that.
No, I love my life.
Yeah.
You seem good at it.
Or are you terrible at it?
Why do they hate you?
Or why did they hate you?
I think they're just not used to someone being in there
picking up the blood for them.
Like, they're used to doing everything for themselves.
And sometimes it's hard to get used to having help
when you're used to being the person that does everything.
They work too hard.
Yeah, I guess so.
It's hard for me and to ask for help.
Uh.
Toxic masculinity, we were talking about earlier.
Toxic masculinity, pain.
Yeah. It's tough. I'm the only man in this room.
And even I see it.
You see what?
Just the patterns of behavior that us men sometimes are the little boxes.
We were talking about boxes earlier and journalism and stuff.
We're the little boxes that that we feel confined to.
So we talked about botched, botched, and boxes.
What's next?
Yeah.
Usually when someone says what's next, then they have a...
But I mean, it could be his, it's a sheer question.
Okay.
It's usually, I mean, it's a joke for me.
Like what's next?
Oh, joke for me.
Oh, but that's why you do comedy.
You're just an intern. I'm just medical, yeah. me. Yeah, but that's why you do comedy. You're just an intern.
I'm just medical, yeah.
Right.
How long do you hope to work on the show?
If I could be there my whole life, I would.
I mean, I would like for their lives
to at the show to end and my life at the show to really begin.
I feel that my time at the show can't really begin
until their time ends.
And you're not trying to kill them. Not trying. You're not succeeding at killing them, are you?
They're they live, don't they? I don't know. I'm just hearing about this show for the first time.
So you're the expert on whether they live or not. All right. Well, I'll tell you what I'll pull up my little thing
I got eyes on Terry and Paul at all time. You have a secret camera on them. Well, it's not secret so much as it is
Just somewhere that they can't see it. So it's not secret to you, but a secret to them. Yeah
They see you don't have a camera that secret to you
Do I need one? I don't know we We don't know where it is. What are now, honey,
are Terry and Powell? Have they always been the botched out, Ders? To my knowledge, the
botched show is theirs. Okay. That's to your knowledge. And how deep is your knowledge? Very deep.
I feel that no one is testing every season of botched except for me. So you've seen every
season. So to your knowledge, they've been in every episode. They've been in every episode
of botched. Yeah. Good. So that answers yes. It's like you're testifying in front of Congress, right?
I feel like I'm testifying in front of Congress sometimes.
Why are you on the show? Can I ask you?
Your show?
Yeah.
Because you just got to LA.
Well, I thought who gets asked to do comedy
bang with being in LA for only two weeks?
So you asked to be on the show and my producer said yes, is that what happened?
I said, why not?
It feels like this is like amazing spot.
It is, but I mean you've barely worked in show business.
I mean, that's on your producers for not vetting me.
Yes, I agree.
I'm not blaming you.
I'm blaming my producer.
It seems like every week we have terrible, terrible guests on the show.
Got worse during the strike.
Hopefully, hopefully, like now what I'm going to have writers on the show. Got worse during the strike. Uh-huh. Hopefully, hopefully, like now what I'm gonna have
writers on the show, no, no thank you.
I'm just waiting for SAC to clear up their things
so we can, I know they're meeting today, but fuck.
Riders are ugly.
I know.
I just got to LA, these people.
I start, can you believe, I started this one,
and then they were like, you're too good, look,
get on camera. Oh my god
And thank god, where's the camera there? It's a secret one for me. Oh, okay. I'm not sure
Well, look I case you're a very interesting person. Do you have any hobbies or anything like that that we should know about or yeah
I'm getting really into metal working. What does that mean metallurgy or?
Like I bang a hammer against a hot piece of metal
and make it into another shape.
Cool, yeah, so like steel work and welding.
You're like blacksmith.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So right now I got a big long stick that I found
and I'm trying to turn it into a shorter thicker stick.
Oh, okay.
Is it made of wood to stick?
Uh, not to my knowledge.
It's a metal stick.
It's a metal stick that I found on the ground.
On the ground.
Just randomly on the ground, you found a metal stick.
Well, I tripped on it and cut myself pretty bad on it.
Oh, you're still bleeding.
Well, I mean, it's like-
I look down lower than my phone and-
Well, I guess I haven't looked. Yeah damn. Yeah, yeah
You're the bottom. I don't know if that's the blood from your show
that
From the blood spilling yeah, or whether that's blood from your actual injury on your your leg, but
Tell difference I've been I've been sort of
You're miming some things right now that I don't think our listeners can hear.
What?
I was trying to remember the word.
I guess shooting up some of the blood is the closest, transfusion.
You're not shooting a blood.
I'm transfusing blood.
You're changing your blood out for the blood that you get on the show.
If I need it.
You don't need it, I don't think.
Well, I'm losing blood.
So...
Oh, I see, but is it the same blood type?
I think...
Like red?
Uh, no.
We all bleed red, Scott.
Unless you're a Vulcan.
Did I get you there?
Do you know what a Vulcan is?
Yeah, you got me.
They bleed green.
Can you imagine something like that?
I'd love to bleed green.
Do you... Do you remember how on Star Trek, They bleed green. Can you imagine something like that? I'd love to bleed green
Do you remember how on Star Trek in the beginning they had this one guy on the show who was just outright racist
You'd always tell you green blooded son of a gun or whatever was that my colleagues? Yeah, the doctor the doctor guy would always say that he was
Constantly reminding the guy of his race
You green blooded son of a bitch. It does not look so good.
Yeah.
Um, I, uh, I, I really think you need to get that checked out, Casey.
If that's my work for doctors, I'm sure they would say so.
We're not working right now.
I mean, yeah, I'm not, I'm just pre-med, but I think it looks bad.
Well, I'll think about it.
Okay, do that.
We're going to take a break if that's okay. Think about it for a second. Okay. Um, I'll think about it. Okay, do that.
We're gonna take a break if that's okay.
Think about it for a second.
Okay.
You look pale too.
It looks like...
Okay, you look dull.
We all notice things about others.
When I say that, I mean,
paler than when you came in here.
It seems like you're losing the blood in your body.
And we only have so much of it, Casey.
So how much?
We, I believe, how much do we have?
How many pint?
40 pounds.
40 pounds of blood?
Is already made up of 40 pounds of blood?
You're the person on a doctor show every day.
You're the one who's pre-made.
Oh shit.
And you're nobody.
Oh.
All right.
Let's take a break.
Take a break. You can get yourself checked out if you want and think about it. And, let's take a break. Take a break.
You can get yourself checked out if you want
and think about it.
And we're gonna take a break.
When we come back, we have a concerned citizen,
Pac-Show will be right back with more Delores Brainwater,
more Casey, the intern from Ohio,
and a concerned citizen will be right back
with more comedy, bang, bang after this.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall.
I bet it was ReBall. I bet it was ReBall. I bet it was ReBall. I bet it was ReBall. I bet it was ReBall. Oh, no. That's another reason why live dancers don't have money.
It's cause they don't realize there's money in the trophy.
Oh, I have some spare trophies around here.
I should just check them for cash.
I should.
Yeah.
I've never really thought about these are showbiz trophies.
I bet there would be like at least a hundred bucks
in the fridge.
Every trophy has at least a hundred dollars in it.
Shit.
I gotta look for this.
We also have Casey.
Casey, are you all right?
What happened during the break?
I'm good.
I plugged up the cut with notebook papers.
So I should be good.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
It's everything's turning green down there.
By the way, I...
Yeah, I think it's fine though.
I think I bought a little bit of time.
You probably bought a little bit of time.
I can meet some more people.
Okay.
Oh, well, we have one more guest.
We have a concern citizen.
Oh. Yeah, we'll find, we have one more guest. We have a concern citizen. Oh,
yeah, we'll find out about what they are concerned. Let's welcome them to the show for the first time. Please welcome Cockroach Rick. Wow, thanks. Yeah, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, the Roach man,
rocker. Yeah, the Roach is a big cock in our goal. I love to rock
This is a lot of information. I'm sorry
Yeah, let's go back. You have a big cock. I heard that
This roach a roach Scott let me your house guy try to kill me. Are you a roach? You're a cocker?
Oh, you are a cocker. Yes, but I'm wearing jeans
A cock rock wearing jeans with a big cock and you love to rock?
A little rocker roll, yeah. Oh, okay. Got a band. Oh, you have a band. So you're talking cockroach,
how did that come to be? Tuck, walk a rock and a talk of the talk. Oh, I see. Oh.
Lewis cockroach with the biggest cock and how to go and love to rock. Okay, hard to go.
Lewis cockroach was the biggest little. Oh part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the
hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the hardest part of the game is the you from Cockroach Hell? Of course, being. That's where all the cockroaches from. You try to kill me, stop fuck you.
Oh wait, so Cockroaches are not alive on Earth?
They're alive somewhere else, then they go to hell, then they come back.
Oh.
Was it children of Beetlejuice?
That show that Lauren Bobert got her tits felt up at?
Yeah, that's the one.
Good Anthony King go road.
Everybody gets their tits out for Beetle.
I would hope that that would start a big trend at Beetlejuice performance.
Yeah, let's get our tips out.
You know what?
I think it should be in every performance.
Yeah.
I think you should see people getting their tips out.
People getting a hang child.
I think Beetlejuice should start showing his tips.
Beetlejuice should be in every show.
Beetlejuice should be in every show of Beetlejuice.
I agree.
I came from Beetleju should be in every show of Beetle juice. I agree. I Came from Beetle juice is dick every fourth of July Beetle juice. Jesus. It's a come so big that
Carpenter's run out and that's how come we're running cockroach hell and then we come off from under your bed
We live in a house sky you try to kill me. I
Don't want to try to kill what am I gonna try to kill me? All right, here we go
Don't don't wait. That's your go. Hey, don't, don't. Wait, that's your defense, but you're saying don't.
Don't.
Oh, I didn't want to.
Don't.
Oh.
Oh, I won't.
I won't.
You squash my cocks, God.
How sorry, you had the biggest cocks, too.
Alert.
Alert.
How did that happen?
It's not, do not disturb.
Do not disturb me, Scott.
You try to kill me.
I've been running around your house for 110 days,
which is the average lifespan of a cockroach.
Okay, okay, look.
What are you doing here?
I'm running for president. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha President Prime Minister King of Hell in Cockroach Hell, but I need the human servo for me because Regis Philbin has been the King of Hell for years.
Oh, I don't want to you slurp him.
Wait, I think it's you, sir, but
you slurp it, Scott.
Was he the king?
Was he the King of Hell when he died?
Or the King of Cockroach Hill.
Oh, you're just filbert as the King of Cockroach Hill.
Okay, it happened.
It very happened.
Well, he came down our way.
So he was, he was just like a random nobody in regular hell and then yeah, but you can be a big celebrity in
Cockroach hell if you want go to it's easier to get famous there
Well, I don't know why I went to hell in the first place that's between him and Christ. Oh
Maybe you don't take Christ name when you die
You go to hell and if you really don't say it you go to Cockroach Hill. Oh shit, okay, I gotta say Christ's name.
If you don't say it, but you think it, you go to hell.
But if you don't even think it, you go to Cockroach Hill.
What about if you're in like one of those car accidents
where you're decapitated by something
like coming through your windshield?
Final destination, hell.
Yeah.
That's where you go.
Oh, okay, so.
Cockroach hell isn't so bad.
You can be little, you can run up skirts, tits,
you guys were talking tits. Cockroaches up skirts tits you guys are talking tits
We were talking tits yet Coco every cockroach has a chariot of booger tits and and nipple hair and nipple hair is a guitar in
Cockroach hell this doesn't sound half bad. It's not bad. You guys should come check it out check out my band
Wait, you're your band only plays in cockroach hell. We could play here if you want it. Are you getting married?
I don't even think I'm renewing my vows.
You try to kill me, Scott.
You just me do.
I want to go live in your house.
You want my cock's cock.
It's question already. Why would I want it?
I'm the littlest road to the biggest car.
Harder goal than the rock.
I feel like the hard of gold isn't coming into play as much.
We're not hearing that side of you.
Okay, let me try.
Let me try.
These words of mouth from the heart of gold.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Is that heart of gold?
That's not.
I'm sold.
I'll bring the holy wood.
I'll bring the red wood.
You can bump searching for a heart of gold cocktail. So y'all do covers no
Ritinals we wrote all those songs. Oh, so Neil Young's heart of gold you wrote
Yes, and he came for a brief sting in Cockroach Hell you can visit I believe it
You can check out anytime you like me. You could never leave. I think it's opposite
You tried to kill me scott. I look. I'm sorry. You asked me to could never leave I think it's the opposite you tried to kill me Scott. I'm sorry you asked me to
Is it because I ran up your wife's leg and you got jealous because you never touched your wife's leg?
I did not know you ran up I think I touched it once
Come check out my band I got coached the rich man bitch butterfly on guitar
I got scuttled a butterbeen on sacks
I got ripper the crunchy tit on drums and me rick the roach man sacks on drums
It's all drums
This doesn't sound good. I don't know any of those people first of all so of course you don't
You're so high in mighty and your big famous world, huh?
I live in your house living your floorboards. I come into your pop tart closet and I eat your crumbs
No, is that where my pop tart? That's my dad going baby
Look I don't I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to check out your band. I mean it sounds bad
You man you tried to kill me out. Oh
Don't I'm sorry. I'm still trying to kill you're disgusting. I think roaches
Look, I'm sorry. I think roaches are disgusting. Yeah, cuz you're jealousy makes I touch your wife's shins. I don't think it's jealousy
Oh Scott. Guess what she shaves
Her shins are smooth as hell and you wouldn't know I
Guess not but
Drown me in the bathtub Scott you were in the bath you were sleeping. I was trying to choke you out
I put all my weight on your items Apple hoping to stop the breathing You drowned me in the bathtub, Scott. You were in the bath, you were sleeping. I was trying to choke you out.
I put all my weight on your items,
I hope you didn't stop the breathing.
When I fall asleep in the bath, sure,
but that's no reason to try to choke me out.
And then you just thought that was a scratch
on your neck so you grabbed me and you held me under water.
I look, yes, I-
And now I'm back from Cocoa to Hell.
Hahaha.
Is that why it's so hard to kill cockroaches?
Is, because you go to hell and then you always come back
Is everybody's wives are falling in love with us?
I
Guess so I mean I've noticed cool up as a little distant. What is going on? Uh-oh I learned I turned on do not disturb
It's on you keep saying that but it keeps happening. What is happening here? You don't know what you're doing
You want us to know that you're popular?
Yeah, I'm getting a few things.'s my cockroach c-cell phone and
the other cockroaches from cockroach hell hit me up cuz it like oh he was
got oh good and some of them want to see your dick yeah
because a lot of my cockroach friends have been in your jeans really yeah and
you didn't even know when you stay up late
and night eating your popcorn from,
from Pop Tarts from Pop Tarts from Pop Tarts from Pop Tarts.
And you get all those crumbs in your belly button.
We're there.
Why do you think they're gone in the morning?
It's like leaving cookies out for Santa.
Stop telling people what I do at home, okay?
This is, yeah, it's a little embarrassing.
Yes, I eat Pop Tarts at night,
and yes, they leave a lot of crumbs on my belly.
Your belly button is the size of a cereal bowl.
Don't tell people that. It's extreme button is the size of a cereal bowl. Don't tell me.
It's extreme.
It's extreme.
It's a crater, man.
You should come on dodge.
Do you think they could picture?
Oh, yeah.
Don't worry, they'll just give me an outie.
No, they just drag all the skin a little, a, like, to make a smaller hole for that.
Plus, you should be lucky to have an outie.
What are you driving on Honda?
In Cockroach hell we drive booger chariot. I already
Tell me about your your background
Well my dad is being a juice as I already established my mom is Hillary does right okay, and you were born on the 4th of July
Yes, and why does why does be do juice wait until why is it the 4th of July when he
just is the big come because it's fireworks. Oh I see. Oh yeah. So for him it's
fireworks. No for you it's fireworks. When you see fireworks on 4th of July that's
Biddle Juice coming into the sky. Oh fireworks. Every single one of them. And it's
all cockroaches being born. Yeah. Well thank God Biddle Juice is doing this
because I love fireworks.
So good for him.
I'm glad that he's coming once a year.
Do you love my daddy?
I can, I can't.
Beetlejuice.
He's very funny.
Say his name.
I don't want to say his name, especially not three times.
Say it two more times.
I think it's scary, but he's also very funny.
Hey, here's a question.
Do you guys know about the lore?
If I say it once and someone else says it two more times
that I count as three, it does have to be the same person.
I think it's got to be the same person try it.
Bagel jigs again.
Bagel jigs once more.
I know we know that one works. Does it start over after 24 hours or are you on a constant?
Recess. Okay.
Reset midnight. That was what I was always like you will lingo.
Loser streak.
Do a leap of what?
Do a leap of.
Do a leap of.
If you say do a leap of three times,
we'll see you appear.
Oh, I hope so.
Do a leap of do a leap of do a leap of.
Long cubes.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Casey, that was you doing an impression.
We should full disclosure for our listeners.
Yeah, I wish I could be here for one minute.
Just one minute. What would you do in that minute? 60 seconds.
Sing to a packed house of adoring fans wearing the tightest body suit with long hair.
That's the minute that you want.
Why don't you get Terry and Powell to make you into do a leaper.
Surgery style?
Surgery style.
Do you think it's possible for my face to face?
If they can put a nose back on,
surely they can make someone need to do a leap.
Yeah, you could be like the people
who want to look like Michael Jackson, he or her.
Or other select, who's the one who really
want to look like a different celebrity?
Who was it? They kept Jocelyn Wildenstein.
I don't know who that is.
Cockroach Jackson. Oh, you know him. No, who's that't know who that is. Cockroach Jackson.
You know him.
No, who's that?
Oh, he's in Cockroach Hell.
He has red leather pants and he's in prison.
Oh no, he's in prison in it.
Prison in Cockroach Hell is gotta be the most fun place
you could ever go.
Oh, it's like an opposite place.
Yeah, okay, okay.
The worst place to go in Cockroach Hell
is birthday party.
Oh, no, what happens? Oh, that's where you get a nugie and you eat, you have to swallow pubes, try no milk.
Oh.
Horrible.
If I swallow pubes, I want milk.
Wash it down.
We gotta wash it down.
Gotta wash it down.
So, what do you hope, uh, Carcobre, Rick?
What do you hope for the future?
I mean, I'm not gonna see your band, but what are your aspirations, you're?
Well, that's another reason why I wanted to come.
Hopefully, cohost radio show that you've got K920,
Rocho, Rocho, Coco, Rocho,
902.9, Rocho, Coco, Rocho.
It's good, I mean, for a first audition.
What the fuck is up, but, and sleds,
welcome to the Cockroach Hell Game Show.
A first contestant ratchet Scott
Wait, I thought we were co-hosting suddenly. I'm a contestant all right. I'll do it. Yeah. Hi. I'm really excited to be here
Let's see. I'm a time this marble can roll around in your big old gapy belly button
Kacook link
No, it went down the drain at the bottom
Billy button is a sink wow wow and that's commercial break Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll of it, but- Okay, well thanks. But I love the idea of tossing a marble into something. Thanks, yeah. Wow.
That would be a great new feature on this,
so marble tossing.
Wow, thanks.
Feel like you're not listening to me
to saying wow thanks.
I'm just saying wow thanks.
It's kind of my catchphrase.
All the little piece of Jesus' goose isn't in Beetle Hell
say wow thanks.
Okay, I don't know.
Try it.
Wow thanks.
Try it gruffier.
Wow thanks.
Wow thanks.
Wow thanks. Everybody give it a go. Wow thanks. Wow, thanks. Try it, gruffier. Wow, thanks. Wow, thanks. Wow, thanks.
Everybody give it a go.
Wow, thanks.
Wow, thanks.
This feels good, don't it?
It's pretty good.
Maybe that on a shirt?
It's kind of what we do instead of seeing Grace.
We all hold hands before dinner and go, wow, thanks.
I didn't get a merch alert,
so I'm not sure that this is,
usually when someone says something on this show,
we get a merch alert.
Merch alert!
We don't want we get a merch alert
Oh, and that's what Can I need to roach a rock a caucho
Welcome back. I'm here with my dumb bitch assistant serial bullpilly button Scotty pocket man
I what's the weather like Scotty?
I mean, it's kind of hot. It's 70 to look
I don't appreciate you call me dumb bitch
In cockroach hell dumb bitches how you say like mr. Amuses? Okay, are you married?
Because then you just bitch. I am married. Okay, that bitch Scott
I'm in I I don't I don't appreciate the is different in Cockroach Hell. It's all respectful.
Okay.
Seriously.
It's an opposite play.
What do you say to someone if you hate them?
You say, oh, separate, they boy.
Pancake head.
Maybe you're a botched people are in from Cockroach Hell or something when they say they hate
you.
Like, maybe it's all nice and they're telling me that they love me and they want to
keep me around.
Yeah, exactly.
Could be iconic.
Could be.
Well look, Cockroach Rick,
you're a very interesting person.
Wow, thanks.
You're not a person though, you're a Cockroach.
I'm a Cockroach with jeans.
And jeans, yeah.
And jeans that are too big for you,
they're sliding down to your right.
That your jeans got,
you know I tricked your wife into thinking that I was you. I dragged your jeans around the bedroom for and she said Scott your home early
I really wish you would stop doing all this guys
Especially to cool up. She just wants to be left out. She doesn't want any part of this show
So to have guests coming around and pretending to be me
Sorry, but it's pretty easy. Yeah, she would fall for something like that
You're you're invisible tired dragging pants on the floor. I get it
We made love
Yeah, and sexy said it was better than usual. She was after and she said wow, thanks
Shit this lack of revenge on the nerd style assault. He truly is.
Well, Cockroach Rick, you're a fascinating individual.
Wait, I'm just realizing, maybe I didn't have sex
with your Wi-Fi sex with a Cockroach who is dressed
like your wife and she was drinking me.
Or not.
Ha ha ha.
Maybe it was like a freaky Friday situation.
Yeah, it was Jimmy Lee Curtis,
that's what I'm thinking of.
Yeah, that's what it was, yeah.
Cause she mentioned that in her Oscar's acceptance speech. Yeah. She went up Yeah, it was Jimmy Lee Curtis. That's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah, because she mentioned that in her Oscar's
acceptance speech.
Yeah.
She went up there, she was like,
oh, by the way, I just had sex with a cockroach.
Well, thanks.
A lot of people didn't hear it.
Well, thanks.
Sounds like you're not listening to me right?
I'm listening.
Okay.
I'm trying to dispense.
That's commercial break.
Yeah, I know, I'm trying to dismount here.
Okay.
Trying to get us into our final feature here here because we are running out of time.
How's your voice holding up by the way?
Cockroach.
It's feeling great.
You asked to go last.
Good.
My voice hurt.
Yeah.
Well, we are running out of time.
We only have time for one final feature on the show.
That is, of course, a little something called plug. Gzzzz. I do it, I do it.
To have a good time, that's right.
That's right.
And that's all.
That's all.
That's all right.
Cook out, mug up song.
Yeah, mug up sky.
Cook it, sky.
Cook it, man.
Cook it, go.
Go to close it out.
Go to close it out.
Go to close it out.
Go to close it out.
Go to close it out.
Oh yeah, that was got my plug song by Lost and Found.
Oh yeah, our old friend Lost and Found.
I think he has a sound cloud, you can list all this stuff on.
Wonderful stuff.
Thank you so much.
If you have a plug theme head over to CBBworld.com slash plugs
you can be famous for a week and Lost and your famous
this week.
Guys, what are we plugging?
Dolores brain, water, What do you want to plug?
You have something coming up?
Yeah, I want to plug some shows that I heard about,
that I think sound pretty good.
Okay, where'd you read about these in the local paper?
Oh, the internet.
Okay, I'm a little mad, I'm a little mad.
You are, what's with, I love Reddit.
Really?
What do you love about it? The front page of the internet.
Sure, sure.
I love pictures of me.
So they're pretty.
I also love, am I the asshole?
And I also love today I fucked it by.
I think a lot of those people who say am I the asshole?
The chances are that an asshole is like 95% usually right?
Come on say nine in a hand really so it's always they are right. Yeah, it's like they you know why are
they bother even asking? My that's so my wife asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday and I said
fuck her friend. Am I the asshole? It's weird. It's weird like I'm five cockroaches in a trench coat.
explain it like I'm five. Explain it like I'm five cockroaches in a trench coat.
Oh, so not five years old, just five cockroaches in a trench coat.
Explain it like I'm five cockroaches in a trench coat.
Wearing jeans.
So what are these shows you've heard about?
First up, this is happening on a Monday,
and it's the 9th of October.
Oh, that's next week.
That's right.
A week from tonight.
Wow.
And it is two super groups of improvisational comedy, Super Ego and Wild Horses, and they come
together and they're going to improvise a murder mystery.
Oh.
It's going to be funny.
So wait, is one of the people in Wild Horses or Super Ego, are they going to die that night?
No.
They figured out a way to do it.
Okay, so someone in the audience is gonna die
and have to lay there the whole show?
Well, that might happen,
but that's not what they're planning on doing.
Have you ever been a murder mystery show
where someone in the audience dies
and everyone thinks it's part of it?
Four.
Four shows, four times.
Wow, okay.
Good.
Wow.
Yeah.
So that's also going to, that's a dinosaur top rider. Okay.. So that's also going to at the
Dynasty top rider. Okay. And but it's also going to be live
stream. So you don't even have to live in Los Angeles to see it.
You have to leave your own stupid house to see this. Now you
don't in your house is stupid. Yeah. You could just sit there
like a like a dummy with your pants off just watching these
people like an absolute moral. With money.
With at least enough money to buy a live stream.
So not that stupid.
Not that.
Not that.
Actually pretty smart.
To get that much money.
So if you're a genius, you should watch the show
on the live stream.
Okay.
Next, October 14th and 15th Saturday and Sunday
in Brooklyn, New York,
Varietopia with Paul F. Tompkins. It's a variety show with wonderful.
He's taking on the road. He's taking it on the road.
And it's going to be that the early shows have sold out,
but there's still some tickets left for the late choice.
Oh, what a wonderful time at the theater that is.
And then there's even more in my home state of South Carolina
November 17th. That's a Friday
Friday before Thanksgiving. That's right. Wow. That's exactly right. You're good at calendars
I am I see why I go that's a calendar so Friday the 17th of November and
of November and Varietopia at Music Farm in Charleston, South Carolina. Wow, I bet the shows like that don't go to places like South Carolina a lot.
So that's so special.
Wow, okay.
Two shows, seven and nine.
PM, if you please.
Okay, I was going to say it's a little early for my taste.
It'd be seven a.m. going to a full variety show.
Right.
No one wants that. Maybe if they serve mimosas, bottomless.
If the way they're wearing pants and they're bottom mimosas, yeah.
Boo, I don't know. Would I want that underwear or no?
No, full on nude from the waist down serving me mimosas. Now that's cockroach. It's such a bad look. Yeah, such a bad look. Well, these are great shows. I can't wait
to hear about all of these after they happen. I keep you both. Please. I know.
I know. All of them. Okay. And Casey, do you have anything to plug here?
Uh, do Alipa. Okay. I think everyone should give her a shot up and coming artist.
Yeah. Um, actually great taste. She is. Is she nice? Yeah. Yeah. Don't say it's a British
for you. Yes. You go. I had no idea. Yeah. Well, my mom's great. That's... Ah, she sounds a bit Scottish too.
Bye!
And anything else to plug in?
Any television shows coming out that writers can plug?
I don't know what I'm allowed to do today.
Yeah! Let it be!
I think you're allowed to plug.
Let it be! Let it be! Let it be! Let it be. Let it be. I'm plugging. Ringo. Yeah. Plug Ringo. Peace and love.
He's not giving autographs anymore. No, he's not signing merchandise. Oh wait, so he'll give an autograph.
He'll give autographs. He's not signing things. He's not signing things that people said to him. If he's
santa, he stopped doing that, but peace and love. and love peace. Yes, you guys know it's the difference in his change of behavior
It's because he died and he went to cockroach. Hell and now his body's made of cockroaches
It's not running a lot more. It's a bunch of cockroaches
A bunch of cockroaches just made up as one human being that's how you know if you look for the jeans because cockroaches
Love the small jeans if anyone's wearing jeans most likely a cockroach. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, thanks
I'm do you have some deployed cockroach Rick? Yeah Yeah, plug your bathtub up and hold your head under Scott
myself
Let me do it. Let me do it
I'm gonna kill you
Let's see if we can click kill each other in the bathtub. Jello. Jello wrestle. Jello wrestling
Yes
I have more legs than you and probably better grip in this line
Okay, so it's a little bit even but I'm bigger than you
What's that my dick's bigger than yours compared to body
Cuz it's pretty tiny yeah, it's not this equivalent size of a penny
What's your scuba saw scuba saw? Coop is sausage. You know it?
Coop is off. It's big. No, but a can of
Bob. Yeah, I was gonna say that sounds like a can of
this. You know, boss. Yeah, but I guess when I grew up
with a couple of coo.
Coop is off.
That's how Canadian pronounce
kill boss.
Coop is off.
Coop is off.
Fuck you guys.
Fuck you. Do you have anything you want to promote?
Yeah, Halloween show.
Oh, at the ice house on the 28th of October. The ice house really. Yeah, you've ever been there to cool. I have get it
I
And what and what is this show called what what are you it's on Halloween?
Oh, it's improper humans Halloween. Oh, okay, improper humans is doing a Halloween show it
Yeah, and I'll be there dressed up as something that's not a cockroach to watch out.
I still might crawl up your skirt. No promises. Well, thanks.
All right, well, I want to plug, look, the comedy bang bang book.
We're getting some out for the holidays, some of the signed edition.
I think there will be some at earwolf as well as some that we're going to be selling over.
Head over to CBBWorld.com slash book. You can
check it out. We'll have the links up at some point. Also, if you're a music fan, Adam Scott,
and I started doing a podcast about Springsteen called You Spring and Springsteen on my bean.
I'm glad. I'm glad.
I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have you. I'm glad to have hour. If you're a music fan, why don't you listen to podcasts
where these two non musicians talk about music and barely. But that comes out on Tuesdays.
You can subscribe to it under the you talking YouTube to me feed. And while you're over
at CBB World.com, we have some great stuff where we're soon going to have the neighborhood
listen. We'll be there. Is that so? That is so, have you ever heard that show?
Oh, I love it.
Uh, you got, uh, who are the participants involved?
You have, uh, Burt Mea Pee Day.
Burt Mea Pee Day.
Don't pedestrian.
Right.
Doug, calling pedestrian.
I didn't realize that was his full name.
Corn with a backwards K.
Ha ha ha.
Um, and, uh, that's coming over to CBB World for, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
specials in a new season and all the previous episodes.
So exciting. Uh, we also have CBB presents episodes over there.
And Scott hasn't seen and college town and, uh, so many, so much great
stuff over there. If you're just listening to comedy bang, bang, you're
only getting half the story. All right. let's close up open the plug back open the plug
That was plug back theme by Michael Moodo. Thank you so much to Michael Moodo and guys I want to thank you so much
Dolores brain water all I was gonna say always a pleasure, but we just met but I was true
I would love for it to always be a pleasure because I'd love to see you again
I'd love to see you again. I think you're very nice. I think you're very nice. Well, thank you a very nice what
old lady that's right
And Casey I
Mean what we back to or no
Maybe before cockroach Rick I don't know
Maybe before cockroach Rick? I don't know. No, actually my voice lesson is longer than I thought for the next time.
Don't put me in A, put me in a host spot, and you send it to the dumpster in the back and I go,
OOOH! I can't edit you! I'll post you a video.
Alright, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye.
Hear us!