Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Silversun Pickups, Will Hines, Matt Apodaca, Ele Woods
Episode Date: August 22, 2022Silversun Pickups join Scott once again to talk about Prince, dispel Wikipedia rumors, and to perform songs off their latest album “Physical Thrills.” Then, punk rocker Keith Keith returns to prom...ote his new album. Later, Officer Marshal Sergeant stops by to shut down the podcast. Plus, opera singer Maximo Tootie drops by to adapt CBB into an opera.
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Don't count your chickens before the hatch, but definitely keep track of them afterwards
because baby chicks are so cute you won't want to lose a single one. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.
By the way, that is a typo I'm assuming. Don't count your kitchens before the hatch,
but I wanted to say it exactly the way that it was sent to me. So thank you so much to
someone's in trouble. Hugh Junderpants is responsible for that. Thank you so much to Hugh.
No typo on that one? No typo on that. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week and
very exciting week. You've heard a few voices here and maybe you've been able to place them
already because they are super fans of the show and super fans of yours as well. But
coming up a little later on the show, by the way, my name is Scott Ackerman. Coming up a little later,
we have someone in the music industry. We have a punk rocker, a very musical show today. We also
have an officer of the law coming up. So that's... Oh, I can't wait to see how the punk rocker and
the officer of the law meet. Oh, man. They're not going to get along, I bet. It's like the first
season in real world. Who was the officer of the law in the real world? Oh, that's right. What's
your name? No, that's second season. I think it was the guy who... The officer of the law was the
guy who ended up hosting a dance show, right? Huh. I mean, he probably dressed up as a cop a few
times. I was thinking of Irene from Los Angeles. Not Irene. Who am I thinking? Yes, she got married
on the show. L.A. was a brutal scene. L.A. was a brutal scene. The cop, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
A.C.A.B. still applies to her. Yeah. Even though she quit. But let's talk to these people right
now because they are in the hot seat literally and figuratively. They... Making their third appearance,
I believe? Second, I wish. Only second? Yes. I swear you guys have been on three times, really?
I think that was a pandemic fever dream. Oh, my God. Right before the pandemic was the last time
we saw you. That's right. And you were the last band to play live on the show and the first
band to play live. We are officially announcing here it's over the pandemic. Yes, all right.
We don't have to worry about it anymore. We did it. We did it, everybody. You guys are,
of course, responsible for that. We did it. They are a musical combination.
A combination of people who came together musically and decided like, well, we all have
musical interests and, you know, we could combine ourselves and... Like Voltron.
Play at the same time. They simultaneously play. Is that safe to say? Yeah. Once in a while,
we'll solo someone. You know what I mean? Like once in a while, we'll give a little spotlight on
for about 30 seconds. Someone does it on their own. But then we come back in.
Interesting. Okay, so you change it up that way. Yeah, you know, like I'll have a second on my own
and then everybody just when I get scared, everybody comes back. It's like, are these guys
convicted? They leave me. What happened? Where did they go? I turned around.
I'm going to guess sixth album. This is our sixth album. Sixth album came out on Friday.
Yeah, so exhausting. Huge, huge, well... Do you want to save this for when I actually introduce
you or... I'm like ramping up each time. Hi, we're Radiohead. Sixth album. Sixth album,
physical thrills came out on Friday. Yes. Who are we? Silver Sun pickups are here.
We have Brian, Nicky, Joe, Chris. Hi. And a lot of people, it's out now. We're recording,
I don't want to like bust everyone's bubble. We're recording a little earlier. I know this
would be exclusive and I know you enjoyed this. This is a company bang bang exclusive.
Yeah, exclusive. Here we go. Here we go. What do you got? The record is 52 minutes.
Whoa. 47 seconds long. Holy shit. So one minute for every week of the year.
Yes. Yep. And then so you could listen to it that way. What's that extra bit though? What's
that extra bit for? God, I know. 47. Yeah, where, why is that there? Where does the 47 go?
That's Earth's wiggle room. Because you can't listen to it. Maybe the silence is in between the
songs, maybe. Yes. So you could listen to one minute every week of the year and just like,
is that the way you prefer to let the album be listened to? I'm so happy you're announcing that.
I have a new podcast on air. Well, one minute. It's called One Minute, Listening to Ourselves.
This is exciting, guys. I'm so honored that you came back and made this the first stop on your
promotional tour. Yes. It makes sense, doesn't it? Yes. That somehow three or four bands have decided
this is where they like to come. Yes. I think this is a perfect place to be. Thank you so much.
It's great to have you. You're going to be doing acoustic songs, Brian and Nikki. You're going to
be playing songs. And we won't mess this one up. Nope. No. You got no clams, zero clams. The first
time we're performing these live and I'm guarantee you, no matter how much it kills us, we're going
to play it perfectly. Okay. All right. You've been rehearsing, I'm sure. I mean, you. Like mad.
Like mad. Madly. Like madly. Like madly rehearsing. I went over to his house yesterday. Yeah. Really?
That's how crazy it got. How long do you have to practice? He pulled out the lyrics. Oh my god.
How long do you have to practice in order? Like you're going on tour or are you like,
I'll play for like 20 minutes a day? Or is it like, oh my god, this is, you know,
you see that video of Mick Jagger like running around in the gym right before a tour and it's
like, oh yeah, because he has to run the entire time. Like I sang, I've told this before, but
I sang a Rock Lobster at Paul F. Tompkins 50th birthday party. And it's a seven minute song.
And 90 seconds in, I was incredibly with it and was like, oh, I know that I am not in shape to do,
to do this. But that's Schneider's gift, right? People don't know why. How like,
how did Fritz Schneider get that gig? And he's like, he's got the stamina. But when you see a band
when you see a band up there and they're just kind of standing there, you always feel
disappointed. But then you go like, oh, of course, yeah, no one can be running around like a lunatic
the entire time. Right. But how, so how do you, how do you practice to, because you're going on
tour soon, right? I don't think there is a way to practice where it gets perfect. I think you
practice to just maintain a level of almost, you know, like, like your percent, 80% is going to
happen. And that's as good as you can possibly get. Joe, I saw you leaning in because you wanted
to weigh in on this. Is that right? I was just going to agree. You were going to agree. If you
practice till you're perfect and you just end up like getting bored.
I've never done that. And then I end up messing up.
Not today on Comedy Bang, though. No, it's not going to happen today.
Not going to happen to get not scared together. Do you guys have a system like James Brown when
he toured with his band? He anytime they would mess up James Brown, he'd be dancing and he would
flash a five like he'd flash all five fingers of his hand at them, which meant they owed him five
dollars for them messing up. Do you have a system like that? Oh, yeah, I don't make money anymore.
I actually owe Brian. I had 28 grand. That's why you're going on tours because you're in the
hole. Yeah, I'm in the hole now. Wow. But we don't do the flashing five. We do like a finger going
down and a button. Oh, it's like deleting a Bitcoin. That's okay. You owe me one Bitcoin. We're
super into crypto now, Scott. Super into crypto now. It's going to be big. The whole album is just
an NFT. Did you guys? Yeah. Did someone contact you? Tell me the truth. Yes. Did someone contact
you at the record label or wherever and say, you guys got to do an NFT? Can I be serious? Yes,
totally. No, nothing I labeled, but I feel like we might have lost some friends to it. Oh, yeah.
We have gotten phone calls separately from people. You guys get separate phone calls? You don't
take them as a group? We don't live in one house. Different friends from different places have called
and it was just a little strange because they had a very similar sound the way they're pitching it.
And it reminded me of when I was a kid, my neighbors got into this thing called the forum or
Amway or Nant stuff. I know the landmark forum as well. Yeah, they sell the forum. They were
selling the landmark forum. Wait, was this Prince? Didn't Prince try to buy the forum
when he was doing all those? He leased it for a month. Right. And then he decided it was to fix
your effort. He went into the backstage area and was like, uh-oh. Yeah, he ran around the stage
just looking at everything. Like, I don't know if those beams are... One of the times I saw him,
by the way, I went the, because I went eight times, I think, to that 21. Oh, really? He did?
Yeah, I went eight times. And I heard about the opening night. He played two and a half
hours and then did another 45 minutes of Encore or something like that. And so when I came the
first night, he played an hour and a half and then we waited for him for a half hour and then he
rode his bike around the stage and then back into the dressing room. And that was it. He was the
best. That's what you want, right? What else did you want? It was a little like, if I wasn't coming
seven more times, I think I'd be very disappointed. Were they pretty different shows? They were all
so different. It was incredible. I saw one of them and we waited because we heard. It was probably
three weeks in, so a lot of dialogue has happened about these shows, how just keep waiting. And so
we did. And there was an Encore and then we waited and waited and the place emptied out pretty much
and then sure enough. Then he came back out. The lights went out. Well, he would turn the lights
up and play the exit music and all that and try to get people to leave and people would still
stay and so he would come back out. Our friend Vince, we used to work with Prince at Paisley
Park and I said, well, we wanted him to get confusing. We wanted him to do a thing like
Vince on Prince talk about his prince thing, but he talked about that. Hey, Prince, could you record
a masterpiece and then Vince goes, okay, I'll try. So they once in a while, all the people who worked
at Paisley Park or his crew, it's a little outside of Minneapolis. So it's like a little town. I
think it's built up a little bit, but there's a theater and Prince will would take everybody there
like, oh, let's all go to the movies. So they knew he was there. So everybody would sit down and
you'd hear a guy go, Prince, you want trailers? Prince would go, yeah, roll them.
I love that. He loved trailers. Love trailers. I love trailers, too. I love trailers, too.
I wonder if how would he have felt trailers taught?
Of course, he left us before he could see the Nicole Kidman AMC trailer, which is one of life's
great, not mysteries, certainly, but I will say, I'm amazed how that art piece that everybody's
gone on board to, like when I go see a movie there at the AMC and people are hip to that,
like applauding. I mean, everybody, everyone seems to be so on board in this joke that it
makes me feel good about people. Well, it's just one of the few things that we could do
when the pandemic ended. And thank you so much for that, by the way.
Hey, we did it. We did it. Tell me about physical thrills and then tell me about the album.
Well, remember, we hugged you last time. You're not a hugger, but we got you.
That's right. You did hug me and then COVID started.
Right. Did you get COVID?
Started in it.
Was I patient one, patient zero? I don't want to be patient zero. I want to be patient one.
I think you were pretty clear, though, for a couple years, right?
I actually did believe that I, because I believed I had it in January before everyone had it,
but I'm not quite sure about it. Maybe you gave it to us.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
But you guys put out the last record. What was the last record called again?
Widow's Weeds.
Weeds.
Widow's Weeds.
Widow's Weeds. That's right. That's right. We talked about that.
And you were unable to tour for it, right? You had to cancel the tour, just a little bit of tour.
And, but now you're back. You were like, you know what? We're not going to rest on our laurel.
Yes, poltergeist.
Incredible poltergeist reference. What a deep pull.
That feels like a poltergeist, too.
Was it? Yeah. Yeah.
Well, yeah, it was one, but weirdly enough, it was at the tagline for number two.
We're back.
It should have been on the poster for number two, right?
They're back.
I didn't mean to interrupt the poltergeist.
We got to watch poltergeist together.
Can you guys promise me we're all going to watch poltergeist together?
Tonight by the pool?
Yeah, the remake or the original?
Both.
The remake.
At the same time.
At the same time.
I say the remake, yeah.
Side by side.
Here's the question. The poltergeist, too.
Did they just ignore that they had a teenage daughter because she was killed?
I mean, the poltergeist family, there were a lot of tragedies with every single movie that came out.
They don't mention her.
Yeah, I don't know. It's tough to do. I'm not sure.
Guys, I want to go out there and please.
Yeah, clear this up.
And speaking of clearing things up, I want to clear something up on your Wikipedia.
You know when I go to a guest's Wikipedia and there's messiness on it?
I don't like it.
We like to clear it up here.
We like to clean it up.
And if there's anything that's like, maybe it's this, maybe it's that on the Wikipedia,
we like to get a statement from the group.
So they have been repeatedly rumored to have been originally named a couple of couples
as the original lineup was supposedly composed of a pair of romantically involved couples.
Lead guitarist and vocalist, Brian Roberts.
First of all, however, the band has stated that this is untrue.
Guys, you can't have your Wikipedia out there saying maybe it's this.
What is it?
First of all, when Brian and I dated, Chris, we.
Yeah, I mean, the love making is real.
But first of all, that's eloquently written.
Yeah, yeah, was that one of you guys?
We called ourselves that.
That's it.
What does that mean?
That doesn't clear this up.
We said we because we were a couple of couples.
Right.
So it is.
So it is based on that.
Yeah.
So we thought we never called the band that we just sort of nicknamed ourselves.
Oh, it was a nickname.
Okay.
So no one else knew that.
But now the world knows.
But it was due to that.
So we can.
Fleetwood Mackie.
We can cross out the sentence.
However, the band has stated that this is untrue.
And we can now put in the Wikipedia.
The band has stated this is true.
Or we go make it true.
And make it true right now.
It's easier.
Wonderful.
Okay.
So all of you Wikipedia heads out there, you know, we'll start.
Yeah.
Can anyone just do that?
Yeah.
And then, well, I mean, the citation is now this episode.
Which is great.
Oh, what else can we put on there?
Yeah.
What else do you want?
Like, do you want anything else on the Wikipedia page?
Chris, I'll tell you.
Does it say that we met at Disneyland?
No, it does not.
It has a story about you guys meeting on a plane
and you were stealing liquor.
True.
True story.
True story.
True.
Nikki, you were stealing bottles from the cart by distracting.
We were on a plane to England.
But you couldn't drink if you were, I was 19.
But technically, we're going to England.
Where you're, you can be 18.
If you come back from England, I think you can drink coming back.
But it was that.
It wasn't like I was, they were free.
They were free.
So when you were stealing, you were lying about your age
and that's how it was stealing?
Well, I saw was trying to take advantage of international water.
It says that you were sneaking the bottles
by distracting the person.
When I looked behind me, I saw an airline host looking one direction
and a little hand reaching into the cart
and pulling out lots of little bottles.
Bots is an exaggeration.
Interesting.
Okay, so that is true.
Is there anything else?
I mean, because this has got a lot about,
lists every single one of your albums
and then there's like five paragraphs about each one.
Write some all the records around it.
It's just, it's too much.
But I mean, and then musical style.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Blah, blah, blah.
That's not interesting.
Equipment even, you even have an equipment.
Musical style though, if you,
it should reference the original Comedy Bang Bang appearance
when you said mountains.
You did like a seven.
That's right.
Mountains and skies.
That's right.
It does not reference that.
See Comedy Bang Bang episode.
I love, I do think our music is.
Here we go.
In my head, it's, I is like a mountain.
Okay.
It is a mountain.
Debling down.
And it goes into a deep valley, quiet, then rages up.
And then Brian used to scream more and make the peak of the mountain in my head.
Interesting.
Okay.
So yes.
This makes me.
So mountains, yes.
You know, last time we were on, we made two really close friends.
Besides you, by the way, but we, we met.
How do you mean?
Well, you had these guests.
I'm excited to meet these guests today.
Sure.
Cause we, we become close with Brock, the treasure hunter.
Oh, you, really?
You Brock love it?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
Interesting.
We got a little out of touch.
Well, he's been searching for, for wet treasure for now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Marjorie, the park ranger.
We got, we got close with those two.
Marjorie says hi.
I did talk to Marjorie, by the way.
How is she?
She's, she's good.
I mean, she's still there in St. Louis.
Yes.
So the whole national parks television, she's been meaning to come on to promote the
national parks television Netflix series or whatever it is.
So, uh,
but she hasn't been able to make the time, unfortunately, to come out here.
It's been just delightful to get to know them.
That's great to, that's great to hear.
So we can't wait to meet these people today.
These people are going to be great.
And, uh, I guess that's, oh, I get the only other question I have for you is,
how do you write a song?
Is it, you just kind of go like, la, la, la.
Yeah.
And then.
Yeah.
Kind of.
You do that, but you do that in a voice memo on your phone.
Okay.
And then someone else hears and goes, oh, I like that.
Well, no.
What if I added la, la, la.
If you go, la, la, la.
And you, and you listened three months prior on your voice message.
And that same la, la, la.
Is there, it goes, I got it.
Okay.
That's in my body.
That's a few.
I've repeated it now.
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,120
Three months later, it's in my head.
I got to get this out.
For all the new bands out here.
Then comes No More Work.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Okay.
Incredible.
Voice memos, everybody.
Silver Sun pickups are here.
They're going to be playing songs for us the entire episode.
This is so exciting.
Here we go.
Off book.
And we have to get to him.
He is, of course, our first guest, leading off in a block.
He is the aforementioned punk rocker.
He was on the show, I believe, the anniversary show.
Please welcome back punk rocker Keith Keith.
Hello, what are we doing?
I'm a punk rocker on Keith Keith.
Hi, Keith.
How are you, Scott?
Mr. Keith.
Yeah, Mr. Keith, Senior Keith, Sir Keith.
Unofficially, I'll never accept a royal title from the queen.
Do you think one would ever be offered to you?
I hope so.
Because aren't you?
Where are you from again?
I'm simultaneously insulted and at the notion of not being offered and appalled if it is.
Where are you from?
Richfield, Connecticut.
You're not from England.
No, no.
I don't think they would even offer one, do you?
I feel I qualify on basis of honor.
Okay.
Because I'm honorable to me Creed, the Creed of punk rock.
Well, are you tired of me already?
Are you weary?
Did you see my eyes rolling?
I feel, I saw you adjust.
I have heavy eye roll energy right now.
I saw you adjust and settle in.
I figured, uh-oh, this is going to be a lot of energy filling.
I'm filling with the volume to bring it down a little bit if you don't mind.
I saw you jump up like me da.
Like me da when I tell them I had it.
Like you da.
Me da.
You da.
No, you da.
Okay, never mind.
This is Silver Sun Pickups.
They're not, they're not, I wouldn't consider you guys punk.
No, but you got punk ethos man.
You live by your own.
Connecticut punk like that.
My mom's from Connecticut.
Oh really?
Nice.
Maybe you know her.
She sounds exactly like you.
Which part of Connecticut?
Waterbury.
I'm not trying to dox you love.
I'm just trying to relate.
Keef.
Is that Keef with an F?
Keef.
Keef with an F.
No, it's not Keef with an F.
K-E-I-T-H.
Proper spelling.
Keef.
Proper spelling's very punk rock.
Yeah, it is.
How did you get into punk music?
I know we covered some of this on you.
I was born into it.
I was born into it.
I loved it.
Dominan I heard me first punk rock song.
What was, what song was that?
Led Zeppelin.
Yeah.
Which is only punk rock in attitude.
Right, so then the first like actual punk rock song,
what are we talking?
A Green Day?
Like canonically agreed to be a Green Day.
Our most punk rock band there is.
And was that right after the Led Zeppelin song?
You had it on a classic rock station.
I was 30 years old.
I'd avoided music my whole life.
And then you heard Pretty Fly for a White Guy.
Love, Pretty Fly for a White Guy.
Very punk rock.
Why avoid music?
I mean that's...
I come from a religious family.
Oh, really?
Which religion?
Oh, no, no.
It was never specified.
It was strict.
It was Christian-ish.
Ish.
Okay, so you believe in the blood of Christ and...
Oh, don't, me dad does.
He's quite Christian-ish and he's very strict about it.
And that's what you like about punk rock is the fact that it...
Breaks the rules.
Right, the rules of Christianity.
Yeah, sure, yeah.
But whatever.
You know, break the rules of Christianity and authority.
The Ten Commandments.
Is that what we're talking about?
What are they?
Murder is a big one.
Oh, yeah, right, I know these.
Coveting My Neighbor's Wife?
Yeah, tons of coveting.
That's in the top five.
A lot of coveting.
It's just a lot of jealousy and wanting.
It's being struck down, bought at Ten Commandments,
and Keith's all about coveting.
I covet like a mother.
Really?
You covet like a mother?
A mother.
Well, mother and covet rhyme.
That's why I said what I said.
You try to give me notes.
You try to improve.
Would you take them?
No way, man.
Taking notes is not punk rock.
I follow my own drama, love.
But you're not a punk rocker by trade.
You, what is your job again?
Well, you know, I'm punk rocker by life.
You know, I play in bands.
I make music.
On the weekends?
Or?
No, whenever I care.
Weekends at night.
Is it usually the weekends, though?
It's quite often.
Saturday afternoon from two to four.
I'll get a deal in a recording studio in town
and I'll bring me mates and we play.
I think Saturday from two to four would be kind of popular.
Not in my town.
Where are they giving deals?
That's a tough gift again.
I don't question people's business plans.
Or I just take up the duties.
Like Tuesday morning at 9 a.m.
I got a day job made.
I can't do that.
You play in multiple bands?
Yeah, I do.
I have to start them quite frequently
because they disintegrate right within me.
Grasp, people quit.
That is right.
You never let anything stop you.
What do you play or do you sing?
I'll sing.
I'll write the songs and I play.
I'm a multi-instrumentalist.
Okay.
I'll play rhythm guitar.
And what is the difference?
Yeah, what is the difference between rhythm guitar
and lead guitar?
If you could explain to the listeners
who have no musical aptitude.
Yeah, rhythm guitar holds it together
and is doing the work
and the lead guitar shows off
like you're holding your own big dick.
Is that pretty true, Ryan?
Yeah, that's pretty much spot on.
Rhythm guitar is the real work.
I have to do both.
So I'm constantly in that battle.
Yeah, I want to hold my dick.
Switch mentality.
I got to hold this down,
but I got to hold this too.
So I'd say that means you have
both beta and alpha energy at once.
And you know?
Yeah, both high and low T.
You can slip into workmen like chores,
but then also straw about like a peacock
who's trying to get laid.
Yeah, I vacuum and then I smash a window.
Well, that's it, yeah.
So I'll play rhythm guitar.
Oh, no, you're just going to keep going.
Okay, go ahead.
That's punk rock, Scott.
I don't listen to interviews, you know.
But just burst on fruit.
If I could ask you to uncross your arms.
No.
I'll feel attacked.
And perhaps turn a little towards me
so you can see some visual cues
of what I'm trying to ask you a question.
Sure, what do you need?
So you have a very popular band here
who stayed together for over a decade, I would say.
It's amazing.
Two decades?
Yeah, it's 22 years.
It's incredible.
It's incredible.
They could give you a few tips
about how to keep a band together.
All right, let's have some then.
Because what are your issues?
When our band members tell me I'm too monotonous,
I'm creatively ball ring,
I'm insistent and give them notes mid performance.
Those are crazy notes.
That's an awesome intense note.
So like James Brown or?
Yeah, exactly.
No one told James Brown he was bad ever.
So what in your, this has to have come up,
you know, with Silver Sun pickups,
like what do you do to solve these kind of issues?
I just text Brian during the song
if there's some problem I have.
Oh, so and that makes it easier to take.
And again, not to keep saying this, but voice memos.
When we're in each other, we voice memo,
then email it to each other and make a check.
It just feels less.
Yeah, maybe less threatening.
Yeah, I think less eye contact,
more shoe gazing.
Oh, I'd love to have less eye contact.
You've got the arms folded.
Yeah, that's right.
You know what I mean?
That's my style.
And then if you have to pass up aggressive.
What is the arms folded?
What, why is this?
Is this because you're?
Because I've had it.
Or is it because you're crossing your leg
and you, this is the only comfortable position for you?
I'm interested in what's going on with your body language.
I love to explain it.
Oh, you would.
That's not very punk rock.
Is it not?
Then I hate it.
I hate explaining it then, but I'll do it anyway.
Come over here.
He looks kind of cold.
Is it?
Is it?
He is you?
What is going on?
I'm a bit physically chilly.
Yeah, it is summer in Los Angeles.
Do you want a jacket punk rock?
I'd love one.
Keith, can we get Keith a jacket?
Like a nice burberry number or something?
I'll be all right.
Thank you.
Can we get Keith?
I'd love one.
A Fred Perry move.
Oh, Fred Perry, very stylish.
Maybe an Armani.
It's nice to be stylish when you punk rock
like Malcolm McLaren.
Yeah.
What is your job again?
What do you do during the week?
I'm an assistant town planner
for the town of Richfield, Connecticut.
Land use and zoning love.
Wetlands.
Environmental concerns.
Low income housing.
That's my job.
There are a lot of nimbyism out there.
Tons.
They're all pricks.
Everyone says, yeah, solve a problem,
but not a mile backyard.
You know.
I was like, what do I never do that?
I just thought it was a fun thing.
I thought it was a fun thing.
I'll just put it together.
Yeah, interesting.
So you, and that takes up most of your time, right?
Yes, a bit of a long day job, you know.
I work from two to four, except for Saturday.
All Saturdays, I'm free.
You know, I could rehearse any time Saturday.
Really?
But on Sunday, you go back into the office?
Sunday, I go to anti-church.
What is anti-church?
Oh, you have that in the church?
It's a church which exists only to thwart other churches.
To like balance that or cancel them out?
Yeah, sort of like, you know, plan mayhem
and just exist in opposition.
Do they like have different prayers
so that the prayers don't reach God up in heaven?
We have sort of like a Star Wars missile defense prayer
where we're praying to knock out the other prayers
so they don't reach heaven.
They're kind of like very shooed.
Parity prayers, right?
Yeah, do you do like a Lord's Prayer parody?
Yeah, we do like weed out, stile prayer.
Weed out?
Stile prayers.
Yeah, but...
Our father who art in 7-Eleven.
Whoa!
Let me write it down.
I'll pitch that anti-church.
You do great at anti-church, Scott.
They'd love you.
You'd crush it, Scott.
They'd be great.
We do Judas Christ Superstar.
That really makes you think.
Is that like a Rosencrantz and Gilded and Stern or a dead man?
Well, actually, the musical's already quite a bit about Judas
so we only have to change the title
and everything else is the same.
Yeah, but the title really sticks it to him.
Yeah, I bet.
Yeah.
Boy, he needs to be taken down a pig and off that cross.
Did you laugh at that?
I can't tell.
I think that was me really.
Did you give me a courtesy laugh?
I can't...
It was a real laugh.
It's very punk rock to feel
and to be honest about your emotions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I'm promoting something, Scott.
Oh, you are?
I've got a new album.
Not to steal the funder from our beloved guests.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Do you think SoundScan is...
How long is it?
It's 15 minutes.
Okay.
This is like that day that Kanye West and 50 Cent put out
records on the same day.
It feels like that.
It's just as momentous.
Yeah.
And they were on the cover of Rolling Stone
like staring each other down.
And I'd love to be in the cover of Rolling Stone.
Do you remember when Arsenio Hall was on the cover
of Entertainment Weekly saying,
I'm going to kick Jay's ass
and then his show got canceled like a year later?
Is this like that?
I mean, yeah.
It didn't get out.
No, we kicked Jay's ass.
Does anyone remember?
No, what I'm talking about.
Yeah, no, I totally do.
It's a bit of a deep cut for me, but I'll think of, remember?
Arsenio Hall was punk rock.
He was the first punk rocker.
Punk rocker.
You know, in the talk show world.
Yeah.
Right.
Or maybe Letterman was a bit punk rock, you know, at first.
You a big late night fan?
Publication sincerely.
Don't distract me with something I actually want to talk about.
What's this album?
Tell us about it.
It's 15 minutes long.
Oh, it's 15 minutes.
12 tracks.
The song's called Shut Up Me Dare.
The album called Shut Up Me Dare.
The album's called, I was going to say,
if every song is called that,
it would be very difficult to differentiate between the song.
That'd be ridiculous.
Who is me, dad?
My dad.
Oh, your dad.
I'm talking about me dad.
Not your dad.
Nicky Keith's dad.
Keith.
It's not, it's me as Keith's dad.
By the way, what are you, speaking of your dad.
Shut Up Me Dare.
What do you think of Baby Yoda?
Grogu is his name.
It's pretty cute, right?
He's cute.
We ask you what a general opinion is about Baby Yoda.
He's cute though.
He's adorable.
Yeah, and the Minions.
I can't take my eyes off of Yoda.
I love the Minions.
Okay, I just want to make sure.
Minions and punk rock club.
They're not the stars of the movie,
but they took over the franchise.
Yeah.
Us revolutionary.
Burned down, grew.
Bring on the Minions, I say.
Hey, have you ever done a TikTok?
Have I ever done TikTok?
Heard about it.
Heard about it.
Yeah, I have.
I think I heard about it once.
Have you seen this TikTok trend
where Bolshettines put on suits
and they go see the new Minions?
Oh, I just heard it.
It's called.
It's a real thing though.
Yeah, it's called Gentle Minions.
Yeah, Gentle Minions.
He's taking an act of sublime sarcasm.
A bunch of teenagers who've been locked up for two years.
Put on suits and go out to see the Minions sarcastically.
Yep, I love it.
They shit with the...
I do too.
But I would do it on Iron.
And then the Nicole Kidman thing pops up
and it's just the whole thing.
Yeah, everything's just drenched.
Irony and the theater just...
I love it.
I'd love to do it.
I did see Epic Movie with someone who we went and they said...
Epic Movie?
Epic Movie, yeah, the parody film.
They said, anytime they attempt to make a joke,
I'm going to laugh out loud.
And it was fun to watch that one.
Yeah, was it?
Like, not if it's successful.
Just anytime I could tell they are making a joke,
I would laugh out loud.
The lowest possible for laughter.
And just an endless project.
Ha-ha!
Ha-ha!
Christopher and I, when we would go see movies a lot,
if we saw a movie that was really bad
in like an underworld or something,
our way to deal with it, if no one was in the theater.
So every time somebody got hit or flew, we'd go,
woo-hoo!
Woo-hoo!
Wow-hoo!
Uh-oh!
I will say it, when I went to see the band Yazz or Yazoo,
thank you for saying that, mate.
I was going to jump in and scream at you.
Thank you so much.
His arms got unfolded.
It started and it was Alison Moyet sort of dancing in place
and then Vince Clark literally just like pressing play on a keyboard.
And I was like, okay, this is going to be the most boring concert
I've ever seen unless I dance as hard as I can the entire time.
And it did make it better.
I saw Eurasia Love, another Vince Clark duo situation.
Andy Bell running around in tight leather pants screaming his head off.
Vince Clark, I assume, writing a patch for Linux on his leg up on the back of the stage.
But what a bunch of tunes, love!
But man, how was he able to do it for even more than 90 seconds
running around like that?
I couldn't do it.
Oh, I couldn't either, love.
Oh, is that a problem with your band?
Very much.
I'm not physically conditioned for any sort of musical exertion.
Really?
Yes.
I play only two chords, E minor and G.
It's all I need because I get tired to make a bar chord.
What does E minor and G sound like right next to each other?
Um,
Any,
Uh,
And
It's
Oh, the opening of
Mr. Perfect Pitch.
Yeah, Perfect Pitch.
It's very punk rock to be good at your craft.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
My favorite punk rock band was Dream Theater.
Yeah, what a punk rock band, Dream Theater.
A million notes.
Look how much.
Mixolodian modes.
Love it.
Music theory nerds.
Very punk rock.
Steve Vai, baby.
Shut up.
Meet as available exclusively out of the trunk and be Honda Civic.
I'll refuse to use streaming services.
Good.
Or even press them on the vinyl.
Is that because you don't know how to get on to the streaming services?
I don't know how.
I've tried to log on to DistroKinder.
It's a mystery to me.
I can't remember passwords.
It's two, it's two main streams.
Use the same one for each one.
I know they know you have to do that.
People will try to hack into your shit.
Keith Star.
Maybe these guys.
What?
It wasn't me, Passwood.
That's why Keith Star.
You stole it.
Yeah, sorry.
Now I've got to change me.
ATM Passwood from me credit union.
Can you give us a snuck to put you on the spot and I can't stream it
and I guess I can meet you at your car.
Meet me at me Honda Civic.
Can you give us a little taste?
I've got a cassette.
Yeah.
I'll give you three tracks and you pick one, all right?
Shut up, meet da.
I'm going to give it to you.
I'm going to give you a good old spoonful of Keith Keith.
Would you like, shut up, meet da?
Maybe.
Would you like ripples in the reservoir?
Getting better.
Or would you like too many hats?
I thought it was going to be too many cooks.
I would love to hear ripples in the reservoir.
Ripples in the reservoir.
That's the love ballad.
Okay.
Okay.
And why did you write this song?
It was about me first love.
Who was that?
Megan.
Megan.
Malawi?
No.
You think I wouldn't say.
If it was a celebrity.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
It's just a girl from my high school love.
Okay.
Yeah.
We were each other's team.
Not the Duchess of York, right?
What's her name?
No, not the Duchess of York.
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:13,600
Megan.
I'm yours.
Megan.
I'd be used to it.
Megan Markle, yeah.
Megan McCain?
No, it's not Megan.
It's nobody famous, all right?
Quick kissing famous people.
Oh, okay.
Oh, okay.
I wouldn't date a member.
When you live in LA, you're so used to everyone
just dating famous people, that's like.
Can we do one or two more, Megan?
No, no, I wouldn't.
Because it's wrong.
So that intersection, yeah.
She would have disqualified at all times in her career.
Is she the only one in that?
I was a suit.
I mean, unless you look back in like Prince Andrews
snuck into a cameo in season one,
I feel that Megan Markle's got the suits, royal family,
Venn diagrams, so not pretty though.
His way to Epstein's Island.
He decided.
Epstein's Island, pedophilia, and obscure celebrity cameos.
They don't talk about that to pedophilia overshadowers.
They don't talk about that to pedophilia overshown
his luck of getting the royal family into D-list roles.
All right, so this is about Megan, you.
This is Ripples in the Reservoir.
I'm on, you know, looking back, she was all right about it.
You know, she just, you know, she lost her feelings for it.
She told me, you can't really fault someone for being honest.
But at the time, I was quite heartbroken.
So I tapped into that for this song.
Okay, great.
This is Ripples in the Reservoir.
Ripples in the Reservoir by Keith Keith.
All right, here we go.
Ripples in the Reservoir.
Now, I hate to put pressure on the musicians.
Cool, okay, just a slight slow mid tempo beat.
Because I don't mean, yeah, just like that.
Here we go.
Hey, Megan, I miss you.
I wonder where you are.
Hey, Megan, I miss you.
Remember in my car, we kissed and hugged and I said I love you.
I think about you lots.
I'll see you outside at the store.
That's it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, this is my song.
Ripples in the Reservoir by Pump from Ballad to Megan.
This is based off of, uh, True Events.
Did that actually happen?
Did you hear her out at the store?
That's for you.
Yeah, is that poetic?
I'll never say R is for the beholder to examine.
Yeah.
I gotta say, I got Ripples.
Yeah.
Not incredibly punk rock, I would say.
What are you talking about?
Well, I mean, it's punk rock.
I mean, it's a lot like when LL Cool J, ladies love Cool James.
Did I need love?
Thank you again.
I was gonna scream me out if you didn't properly attribute his name.
You know, when he did, I need love.
People were like, is this a rap song?
Is it, you know, but he broke the mold.
His conscience was cold, yeah.
How long ago was this love?
His high school.
It was high school.
How long ago was that?
Let's see, 22 years.
You keep in touch?
No.
No, I don't know where she is.
You know, she moved out of town or?
Yeah, she left town, yeah.
Let's connect it.
She moved one out.
She went to Danbury.
She went next door.
Oh, Danbury.
So you do know where she is?
I know roughly, you know.
I know what block she lives on.
I've seen her.
But I don't know which of those houses is yours.
You don't know which house.
Nah, I'll respect her boundaries.
And the police department requires
to not get within 100 yards.
So I do respect that.
Okay, are all the songs sort of like that, by the way?
No, very different.
Do we want to hear?
I don't know.
Maybe not.
Let's hear a different song.
What do you say?
Let's say not one of yours,
but one of Silverstone's Pickets.
Because we have to take a break,
but before we do, I want to hear one of their songs.
You're interested in music, aren't you?
I love old music.
As an audience member, I'm an omnivore.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, okay.
I'll devour anything like a beast.
All right.
Suck its blood and steal its ideas.
Do you have anything that sounds like that?
We actually have the perfect song for you, Keith.
Oh, okay.
And is this something off the new record?
Physical thrills?
Yes, this is something off the new record.
I love the titles.
Thank you.
Even though you yourself are not big into physical thrills,
you said.
No, I'm scared of intimacy in all ways.
So this is kind of maybe this record
is the kind of physical thrills for you, Keith.
Yeah, okay.
So what song is this?
It's called Scare Together,
and Keith, I need you to look me in the eyes this whole time.
The entire song?
What?
Okay.
And you're not going to mess it up.
We're not going to break icons.
And no matter what,
Nicky promised me because we've been rehearsing.
There's no way she's screwing us.
Okay.
All right.
So there's going to be some deep eye contact
happening during this song.
I'm already terrified.
Close your eyes for a second,
and then you're going to need to open them.
Okay, because you can't blink after that song.
This is about a three minute, Scott.
What is it?
You time it for us.
Okay, I'll time it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then here we go.
I can feel it in the room.
It's going to be that kind of new moon hanging on the spotlight.
So
forever in a day to miss the mark.
Clouds rolling over sunlight.
No fun for young.
Can they just stand and see someone?
Anyone thought up on the first buy?
Search for the eyes.
May I have this dance before we try?
You want to swim with the alligator?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Take a seat near the imitator.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a year old imitator.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So much better when we're scared together.
Crossing up all the highlights.
Better eating out my mind.
It was a beautiful design.
Read this article in the rewind.
Fast forward to the end.
When done, you can begin again.
Free falling in the elevator.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
An imitation of the instigator.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The flowers bloom when it's never never.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So much better when we're scared together.
So much better when we're scared together.
I can not imagine.
It's breathing room.
We made it better.
It changed so soon, so much better.
Paa
I knew, and now I'll never.
A chance to boom.
You wanna swim with the alligator.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Take a swing with the imitator.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stop the year old man later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So much better when we're scared together.
So much better when we're scared together.
Oh my God.
Your eye contact is incredible.
A few change.
Your eye contact.
A few transform.
Do you not like punk rock anymore?
I don't know.
We'll take a break and we'll find out after the break.
Boy, this is an incredible tease.
After the break.
Does Keith Keith like punk rock anymore?
We're gonna find out.
We're gonna be right back with more Keith Keith.
More Silver Sun pickups.
We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.
Comedy bang bang.
We're back.
We have Silver Sun pickups here who just played.
What was the name of that song?
Scared together.
Scared together, is that what you said?
Half of our friend Keith.
Yeah, with high contacts from Keith Keith.
I've never looked at someone so long in my life.
Do you feel ripples in your reservoir?
I feel seen.
Will you see him outside the store?
I'm not sure.
I might have to lovingly stalk you a bit, love.
Respectfully.
Respectfully.
You're invited inside.
We also have Keith Keith and we teased it before the break.
Do you like punk rock after hearing that?
I might need more.
More punk rock?
No.
Punk rock might not be enough.
Oh, okay.
I might need something with more feel.
I don't know.
I'm all a Twitter.
What is the, what genre do you guys,
would you consider yourself to be in?
You want to take this?
Mountains.
Mountains, thank you.
That might be Minions genre.
Minions.
Gentle Minions.
Gentle Minions.
You guys could be the first Gentle Minion band.
Oh my God.
First Gentle Minions.
What would it be confusing if the very first Silver Sun pickups?
Show, live show.
Whatever it is.
You guys all came out in suits and then big banners of the Minions
like came down right behind you.
I think we're headed there.
It would be like, what the fuck is going on?
Silver Sun pickups.
But we couldn't get the licensing so we had to make them ourselves.
Yes, you had to paint them yourselves.
We're using Minions.
Yeah, Minions.
I would love that.
They're a little off yellow.
Well guys, I hate to be, I hate to be a bummer here,
but I hate to harsh.
I bet you love it.
I hate to harsh everyone,
but unfortunately we have that Officer of the Law coming on.
I'm not quite sure why.
Well, I don't know whether this is in an official capacity.
Are you holding anything that maybe, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't like to feel it is clean.
Yeah, we got to make it.
Yeah, check your pockets.
Make sure that you can't.
All right.
Yeah, switch blade or anything.
Oh, I'm straight edge.
What is that?
Cholesterol medicine I see in your pocket?
The patrol going, yeah, go look.
Cholesterol magazine.
Yeah, what is that, a statin?
Medicine.
I love the cholesterol magazine.
I read a lot of read.
It really is.
But he's here.
I don't know what he's here to talk about, but please welcome him.
This is Officer Marshall Sargent.
Hello.
Thanks.
Hi, everyone.
Thank you for your applause.
Thank you for your service.
Just because he's a cop, we don't have to applaud for him.
No, this is what I'm used to.
This is good.
Really?
Everybody loves me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He came in.
It's brave of him to come in.
Yeah, yeah.
Most popular job I think I saw recently.
Everybody loves Officers of the Law.
But I'm actually here because.
You are actually here.
I'm actually here.
Yeah.
Hello, everyone.
Hello, everyone.
It's right here.
Hello, everyone.
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, music to my ears.
I'm here by.
Speaking of music to your ears, this is Silver Sun Pickup.
Hello, Silver Sun Pickups.
And hello, Keith Keefe.
Big fans of both.
Big fans of both.
Oh, really?
Equally?
Yeah, I love tunes.
Yeah, about the same.
Yeah, just, yeah.
I kind of like all music exactly the same.
Okay, good.
Respectfully, I'll reject your fandom.
You know what?
Fair, absolutely fair.
Yeah.
This is by mandate of the Los Angeles Podcast Pre-Crime Division.
And Scott Ockerman, you're under arrest for a crime.
What?
No.
Podcast Pre-Crime or just.
Oh, no, yeah.
Podcast Pre-Crime.
Yeah, that's right.
So this is Pre-Crime regarding to a podcast?
Yeah, yeah.
It seems that you're going to continue releasing and recording episodes of Comedy Bang Bang.
And we just simply cannot have that anymore.
Is this a crime?
Is this a minority report kind of thing?
It's sort of a minority report kind of thing, exactly.
Yes.
Is this a crime now because what are we at, 100 episodes?
No, this is, I mean, we're closing in on 800.
Okay, we're far too late.
Yeah.
Wait, so it's, how did the podcast division even get started?
What are the various crimes or pre-crimes here?
It's LA, baby.
Oh.
You know, it's one of these things where it's specific to Los Angeles, certainly a lot
of podcasts are being reported here.
A lot of podcasts are here, yeah.
You know, we've had some of our top guys, myself included, listening in on podcasts.
And there's just been a lot of things that we could have avoided just entirely.
Like we could have made sure, like Mark Marin didn't push Gallagher's buttons.
That was one that we all slipped through the cracks for sure.
Were you up there on the roof with the Secret Service when Obama went to the garage?
We were there.
We were there.
That's right.
We were across the street in Highland Park.
That's right.
Yeah.
Why don't you go, speaking of Obama, go bother him in Springsteen for their shitty show.
Well, hey, he's not on the air anymore, isn't it?
You're welcome.
Did they take it down?
Yeah, we took it down.
We took the boss and Mr. President down.
Who took it better?
Well, you know who was actually really sad?
The boss.
He wrote a little song about it.
Really?
Yeah.
He was really mad at us.
Is that going to be on the new record?
Yeah, I think it's going to be on the new record.
That's what he said.
He keeps in contact.
He's like, just so you know, that really hurt my feelings that day and I'm reported it
on an album.
What if they swapped jobs?
What's that?
Christopher.
Take Brian's first.
You guys talk?
You guys are text friends?
Well, you know, I would love it if he left me alone, but he's just always telling me,
he's got a lot of feelings with the boss.
This is the boss, really?
Yeah, yeah.
See if it makes you share a microphone.
Because I would imagine that he and Obama, when they did that show, they were back-to-back
on one microphone.
Oh, what do you think?
That's how they did record it.
Yeah, that's how he used to being recorded.
I've never had to share a microphone with him.
I'm actually actively trying to get microwaves and microphones away from most people.
Really?
So you collect microwaves as well, like old microwaves?
Yeah, is there something about a vintage microwave?
There's something about a vintage microwave.
It's like the warmth.
It's the best way to heat something up.
It seems like new technology, so to have a vintage one is kind of, it's anachronistic
in a way.
Yeah, it's sort of like, it's a great word.
Anachronistic.
I love words.
We've got a real William Shakespeare over here.
Watch your mouth.
Keep a sock as big as it will.
He was a writer.
He was a playwright.
Who's that?
William Shakespeare.
That's what he called it.
It was a compliment.
Oh, yeah, it was a compliment.
Oh, oh, oh, retract me anger.
Yeah, but are pre-cogs down at the precinct?
Back down to the book?
Yeah.
Hey, I do everything by the book.
I'm an officer in a log.
God damn it.
All right, all right, all right, I'll let you read your thing.
Go ahead.
Okay.
The pre-cogs, they determined that this podcast going on.
Now you're trying not to look down at the book.
Don't feel like you have to have this memorized.
Go ahead.
Say whatever you want.
Officer, we don't expect you to be off book for this, okay?
You're a policeman.
You're not a performer.
I don't need to memorize anything.
This is my job.
I do this every day.
I'm shutting down pods left and right.
It just seems like you're, you're going off the rails here, man.
You got, you got a CBB world.
You got how many, how do you podcast you on, Scott?
Yes.
Top five podcasts you're on.
Three or four a week.
Three or four a week.
And isn't that something?
You got to come back.
I'm going to halo your ass.
I have a boring organizational question.
What's, go off.
Are you in the...
Go off, go off, King.
Go off, King.
Don't encourage me.
Don't encourage me when I'm adopting an antagonistic post chat.
As a cop, I can see that you're being antagonistic and I've been taught as...
To de-escalate situations.
To de-escalate and to just gas people up when I can tell that they're mad at me.
Cops are really great at de-escalating situations.
Yeah, yeah.
Cops are constantly de-escalating and I have several awards for them.
I mean, you're doing a pretty good job in here even though I feel like we're all escalating.
Hey, you know what?
That's what I do.
I bring it down.
Okay.
You bring this down.
Go ahead, ask your question, King.
Is me a question.
If that's what was happening.
That's what was happening.
Okay.
Are you in the pre-crime division of...
Some division of a podcast unit?
Yeah, is there a podcast division?
Or the podcast unit of pre-crime?
Yeah.
Explain the difference to me.
Is there a pre-crime unit?
Is there a podcast division where it's like, this handles podcast murder.
This handles podcast coveting your neighbor's wife.
Yeah, yeah, all the class of crimes.
Or is it pre-crime and then this covers plumbers.
Yeah.
This covers podcasts.
Well, it started as the latter where it was there was more pre-crimes.
In general.
Yeah, in general, but...
Then you had to split it off.
There's so many podcasts.
Everybody's got a podcast now that we had to really focus our resources toward podcasts
and unfortunately that means yes.
There are J walkers.
There are murderers.
Happening and things like that.
Wives are being coveted left and right and there's nothing we can do about them until
we saw mine.
Also, you're saying all these podcast pre-crimes is affecting the city.
There's more crimes happening.
It's certainly a big problem, but it's like, who's to say what crime is worse?
This is obviously where our attention is right now.
Well, you...
I mean, the sentencing, yeah.
I mean, the cops normally say what crime is worse.
That's a whole big part of the legal system.
We don't come up with that kind of stuff.
That's not up to me.
I'm just an officer at a lot.
What is the last podcast pre-crime that you busted?
Well, we're often very late because some of these podcasts are so long.
Tell me about it.
What's going to happen about the true crime podcast about pre-crime?
Is there a serial season going to be about this?
Well, yeah.
The serial season, that's the issue.
If we broadcast it, though...
The people listening are probably going to be the people committing the crimes,
and then they won't do it.
I wish he stopped Serial Season 2.
That was a crawling.
This man hates Bo Bergdahl.
He hates him.
I think what Scott hasn't seen about that, I still have no idea what any of these references are.
Is Adnan?
Is that a thing?
That's Season 1 of Serial...
Season 1!
Scott.
Scott hasn't heard?
Yeah, I should go.
So let me ask you, because I'm a little unclear on the premise.
So you...
So this is podcast pre-crime, and yet my crime is that I'm doing episodes?
That you're continuing to do some.
Should we punch this up?
What do you mean?
Punch it up.
So you're saying there's like too many episodes?
He's crying?
He's gone too far?
This seems a little money to me.
He's power mad?
I don't know.
It doesn't seem sweaty to me at all, certainly.
I take it back to the lab.
Or the police station.
Well, there is a lab at the police station, so you're right.
So like a CSI kind of thing?
Yeah, I got a whole team.
Yeah, Officer, where is your head at?
You're coming in here to Warren Scott?
It's on my shoulders, of course.
Or to Arrest Me.
Are you going to arrest him?
I'm going to arrest you.
I'm taking you in.
What's your dream thing to happen today?
I'm going to arrest you.
What's your dream thing to happen today?
Well, this is the thing.
Yeah, I got to just make sure that more episodes, we're putting this to bed.
So this is the last one.
This is it.
This is the final episode.
I'm so glad that you guys were on it.
Wait, is it like to catch a podcaster?
It could be certainly like that, but it better be video and not audio.
I'll tell you that.
Well, if it were to catch a podcaster, I would have walked in here,
and you would have been standing here, and I would have said,
who are you?
I have a seat.
What do you have a seat?
Make yourself comfortable for a minute.
I have to say, it is delightful that you wanted to come on the podcast to do it.
Yeah, I had to embed myself in the booking system.
It was a whole thing.
How long did that take you to get into this one?
Maybe 30 seconds with what's happening.
You guys are the first celebrities who have been on it.
How many podcasts have you had to get in to get to this one?
Well, yeah, I had to sort of make a name for myself in the podcast community.
I've done the Joe Rogan experience.
I've done...
I heard you wanted...
And you're going to bust this one.
Yeah, that's what...
Yeah, exactly.
It's all a ploy to get here.
Say what you want about Joe Rogan, but he knows how to edit.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, he's my favorite editor.
His original episode was like eight hours.
He gets him down to a tidy three.
A tidy three, four.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I heard you want Pete Holmes.
You made it weird.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You shut him down good.
You made it normal.
Yeah, I made it normal.
That's right.
And I shut him down and now he's wearing a halo in our facility.
What is the halo?
Is that for Minority Report?
I don't remember.
Yeah, the halo is how they jail the criminals.
How we jail the criminals.
I forgot that part.
What is it?
You put a halo around the criminal's head and it puts them in a perpetual state of sleep,
just like the listeners to every episode of the show.
Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You don't have to insult me while you're arresting me.
Come on.
I'm going to give you a citizen's arrest.
Okay, well, you know what?
That's never happened before.
Yeah, can I just turn around and arrest you?
Yeah.
You arrest me.
I arrest you.
You arrest me.
I arrest you.
I'll arrest you, Scott.
And I'll arrest me, Dad.
Okay, you're dead.
That sounds like a domestic issue.
That's either here or there.
When's the last time you talked to your dad?
This morning.
He dropped you off here.
He dropped you off here.
He dropped you off here.
He dropped you off here.
He dropped you off.
You said meet at your Honda Civic.
Where are we supposed to?
Where is that?
My dad will pick me up, will drive over to me, Civic.
Okay, this is too complicated.
That was too complicated.
Just to buy a record.
Just to buy a 15-minute record.
It's a cassette.
Do you have pre-cogs?
Yeah, we have three pre-cogs that are all...
In water or whatever it is?
They're in photon milk.
Oh.
Where do you guys get that from?
I just want to talk about the movie Minority Revort, because I haven't seen it since it
came out.
It's not a movie.
It's a documentary.
It's true, all of it.
It's so goofy.
They're in photon milk?
It's called photon milk, and it helps them with their psychic abilities.
They're all...
We have three of them, and they're all...
It's like a conduit?
Yeah, it sort of helps them see the future and what crimes are taking place and stuff.
And then, you know, sometimes, though, they disagree.
Right.
And then they outnumber each other?
I can't remember.
They outvote?
There's three.
And so, sometimes, you know, from what I had heard that...
Two have to agree that a crime is a crime.
Exactly.
And then, like, a big red ball comes down or something like that?
Well, depending on what the crime is.
It's a brown ball.
It's sort of a premeditated murder or crime or premeditated podcast crime.
That means that's where you're at, sort of.
It's a bad system, I gotta say.
Can't they just tell you?
Like, cold balls?
Yeah, just like walk down the hall.
Oh, you're gonna go talk to a pre-cog.
Okay, they're in the photon.
Oh, I happen to be on a trivia team with a pre-cog.
Oh, really?
I'm good friends with one.
That sounds like cheating.
My friend's mom was a pre-cog for a while.
It's pretty cool.
Wow.
It's good work if you can get it.
You have to be psychic.
But you gotta remember...
So, wait, does the pre-cog on your trivia night, knowing what questions are gonna be answered,
just knows a lot of trivia?
Yeah, because trivia's from the past.
That's what I'm saying.
That's cheating.
Is it, though?
It's not.
She knows what questions are coming, but she only knows the answer to sports.
She's an expert on cricket and baseball.
Oh, I need to know my name.
Okay.
What's that?
The Who, You, You, Lewis and the news album, Sports?
Yeah, that's right.
All the questions have to be about that album.
Is that your favorite punk rock album?
Absolutely!
You're like walking on a thin line.
Bad is bad is my favorite punk rock song.
If this is it.
If this is it, I love it.
I don't know what it is.
A strange pair of shoes underneath the bed.
I don't know what it is, but every punk rocker I've ever come across has hated my freaking
guts.
Yeah, well, I mean, look, this is good.
You guys seem decent together.
This has not been a good couple of years, or four years, even, for the police department.
How are you taking that?
Is that taking a toll?
Check my pockets.
I've been freaking defunded.
Oh, no.
Oh, you got defunded.
They took all my scratch.
My cheddar.
They defunded you.
Is only one pre-cog now?
Oh, yeah.
I'm down to one pre-cog, and it's just me and this pre-cog, and my bathtub is filled
full time now.
Oh, no.
It's a bad situation.
That's why I'm sort of, like, out here trying to bust all these podcasts to, you know,
make a case for us.
I was wondering what was on your hand.
That's full time.
Oh, yeah.
I'm soaked in full time.
Oh, man.
Look, Officer Marshall Sargent, couldn't you just let me off of the warning this time?
Come on, man.
Come on.
Be cool.
It's still not clear what crime is.
Yeah, I don't know.
Just doing the episode.
Look, there's so many podcasts.
We're running out of space on the internet.
It just seems like you could have come in here with, like, a thing I was going to do on,
like, in 20 episodes.
You know?
I mean, that's what pre-cog, that's what Minority Report, as far as I remember, is all about,
is, like, hey, in, like, seven days, we have seven days to track this person down, we got
to look at all the, oh, that's the license plate from that, and all that kind of stuff.
You're saying it like I had any control over any of this.
The pre-cog said.
But if we're going to go into Minority Report, the whole movie is about how the pre-cog is
wrong.
Is wrong, yeah.
And that this is a bad system.
Yeah.
But they have those cool, like, cars that would float down from the top of the building.
Do you guys have those cars?
We have those cars.
You do, wow.
Yeah, that's the one thing that they let me keep.
Did Elon make them?
Elon, yeah, yeah.
My favorite Wario impersonator, Elon, did it.
Between fucking his employees.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and birthing many, many children.
Oh, God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's a good friend.
Oh, he's a good friend.
Hey, he's a good friend.
He's a good guy, right?
Yeah, he's great.
I love him.
He's going to send me to the moon, probably, or something.
Does he have a lot of pre-cogs?
He's got a lot of pre-cogs because he's birthing a lot of them at the beginning.
Oh, every baby he has is a pre-cog?
All the pre-cogs are musks.
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I mean, that's what, like, I got a little musk telling me.
Really?
In your own bathtub.
Spat the wooden ball out, okay?
It shaved the ball.
And it said, Scott Ockerman, podcast pre-cry.
And that's why here I am.
Okay.
All right, well, this is the last episode, I guess.
We're shutting it down.
Did we?
I don't think so, Scott.
Did we actually see a badge?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Can we see your badge?
Show us your badge!
Show us your badge!
All right.
And a warrant?
Do you have a warrant for this?
I don't have a warrant.
I was invited in.
Vampire style.
I was booked.
Vampire rules.
Vampire, let's write one in.
I was booked.
Let's start rules.
Yeah, let's start.
Yeah, let's start rules.
A vampire can't enter your home unless you book him onto a bug cast.
Yeah, that's right.
Oh, man.
I'm going to be running rampant with the amount of podcasts that are out there.
It's really, really crazy how many vampires are doing cards right now because they have
all the time in the world at night.
That's when they can do it.
Scott, have you had any vampires on the show?
We had one on the TV show.
Emeril.
Chef Emeril Laguz.
Laguzi?
That worked out.
That worked out okay.
That was the It Was Onions episode, as I recall, but yeah.
No garlic.
He was okay.
Yeah, you know.
You're not a vampire, are you?
No.
Last time I checked.
You would have to tell us if you were.
Vampires for vampires and vampire rules for cops.
If I was a vampire, I'd have to tell you I was a vampire.
That's a good thing to talk about.
Are you a vampire?
It's a fair question.
You don't mind if I open the sunroof here in the studio, do you?
Go off.
Go off-king?
Go off-king.
All right, here we go.
He's moving away from the sun.
I burn easily.
I just burn easily.
Oh, that's just natural sunburn.
I think it's because of the photon milk.
Well, the photon milk makes my skin very, very sensitive.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, so you're not a vampire?
I'm not a vampire.
I just have sensitive skinned pre-care cops.
And you'll burn up in the sun?
I'll burn up in the sun.
Garlic hurts me, but yeah.
What about this cross that I wear around my neck?
How do you feel about that?
I don't love it, but it's only because I'm an atheist.
Me too, love.
And it physically repulsates you.
It's making me sick.
Have you been to his anti-church?
Anti-church.
I haven't been to anti-church.
I do go to an atheist meeting every Sunday when we sort of just talk about atheists.
What anti-churches?
You guys, you go to anti-church together.
No, but the anti-church...
A cop and a punk rocker?
I don't know.
I can't decide if that's the most unpunk rock.
I think it's the most punk rock.
I think it's the most punk rock.
Keith, maybe you could write a song about it.
Yeah.
I'll write it right now.
Okay.
Me and a cup of friends.
Wow.
Okay.
All right, look.
Wait, hold on.
You want me to give you a beat?
Should I give you a beat for that?
Hold on.
That makes me feel different.
I'm going to look in your eyes and sing.
I'm going to look in your eyes and sing this again.
I like you.
We are friends.
We'll be together until the end.
You and me.
Police and punk.
When I'm depressed, you'll get me out of my funk.
The end.
Wow.
More songs should end with the end.
Yeah.
I'm very confused as to when a song is over because another one starts.
Is this the same song?
Me too.
And songs fading out.
That's the most confusing thing of all.
Hey, guys, come back.
I'm trying to listen to your album.
Agreed.
I get nervous.
Everything will be playing.
Well, look, speaking of you guys playing, we have to take a break.
Can you play another song?
Yes.
And I want you, Officer.
Oh, okay.
Are you going to have Officer Marshall Sargent stare into your eyes?
Yes, Officer Marshall Sargent.
He makes it okay if we say all those names.
Yeah, that's fine.
Post pandemic, can you not play without someone looking right directly into your eyes?
No, I don't know.
You're just so used to it at home, having to spend two years at home.
I just make my son look at me while I play.
Please, daddy, don't.
Please, daddy, I hate your music.
Do you like that food?
I don't understand the concept of what it is you have as a job.
Son, stare at me.
So is this song going to be off the new record?
This is off the new record.
It's called Sticks and Stones.
Sticks and Stones.
From what I understand, they break your bones.
They do.
And I want you to look at me, Officer.
Yes.
Keith, I know you're going to look at me.
I can't take my eyes off you.
Can you put one eye on Officer, one eye on Keith?
At the end, I want you to look at each other.
Okay.
And then I will, I will, at the end of the song, say the end.
Okay.
Wow, a lot of promises.
You guys ready for this?
We usually don't have so many conditions on someone playing a song,
but I mean, this is great that you're going to stick to this.
I mean, last time, last time we were willy-nilly here.
Yeah, last time you just did whatever you wanted.
And what happened?
And you made a few mistakes during the song.
And what happened?
I don't remember.
Oh, that's right.
So we got to get this thing.
All right.
So here we go.
This is called Sticks and Stones.
This is off physical thrills.
The new Silver Sun Pickups record, which just came out on Friday.
Were we ready, Officer?
Let's get those unblinking eyes on him.
I'm nervous.
One, two, three, and...
Oh, let go.
Words will take our new life.
What you're saying ain't wrong.
Oh, oh...
Wait, take me, I won't go.
Hesitation overload.
But he's brave for snacks and stones.
And celebrate or I won't go.
Heaven knows there are tricks of mine.
Won't let go.
Better make them mine.
Before this feeling is gone.
Oh, oh...
Oh, oh...
Oh, oh...
And when you take me, I won't go.
Oh, better make them overthrow.
But he's safe with snacks and stones.
If it doesn't take, I won't go.
And when this feeling is strong.
What you're saying ain't wrong.
Oh, oh...
I suppose I'll let go.
Oh, oh...
When you take me, I won't go.
Hesitation overload.
But he's safe with snacks and stones.
And celebrate or I won't go.
Oh, oh...
Oh, oh...
Oh, oh...
The end.
Wow, wow.
You said the end, amazing.
Oh, incredible.
All right, well, we have to take a break.
When we come back, we're going to have Officer Marshall Sergeant.
We can still keep going until the end of the show, right?
This better be the last one.
This will be the last one, don't worry.
We'll have more Keith Keith.
And boy, we have someone else from the music industry coming up.
This is incredible.
Silver Sun Pickups are here.
We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.
Comedy bang bang after this.
Comedy bang bang, we are back.
We have Silver Sun Pickups, the new record physical thrills in stores now.
People can...
And obviously we want to listen to this one minute every week,
but how do you prefer people buy the record in stores from your website
or just go down to one of your record stores?
Or what do you think?
I think go to a record store.
Go to a local record store.
Yeah, your local Barnes and Nobles.
What if you don't live...
What if you're in the middle of nowhere, listen to a show like this going like,
fuck, I hate my hometown.
There's no good record stores.
What do you say people do then?
Get out of there.
Get out of there.
You should go to Connecticut like our friend Keith, you know?
It's the center of punk rock.
I say go there.
That's the hoppin' spot, really.
Yeah, Connecticut.
Richfield, I think it's Richfield.
Richfield, yeah.
Yeah, go to Richfield.
Come on over to Richfield, yeah.
We'll head over to the rusty nail and have a beer.
Ooh, that's still open, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
We also have Keith Geith, we've been talking to him, of course,
and then we have Officer Marshall Sargent,
who during the break you were just taking notes
and furiously just looking at everything that was happening.
Yeah, I was walking down the halls.
Anytime I see two white men talking to each other,
I assume it's probably going to be a podcast.
So I'm keeping my ears open and just hoping to stop
any pre-crimes that I can while I'm here.
Go hassle the office ladies, you know?
Or Jamila Jamil.
I can't, I love them.
I must stay in.
You love them?
Yes.
I gotta say though, Keith kept eye contact with me.
Officer, you broke eye contact.
Look.
Couldn't take it.
You broke eye contact.
Yeah, what was going on there?
Because if I'm staring in your eyes, I'm missing crimes.
And I gotta keep these eyes on a swivel.
Fair enough.
The crimes of doing podcasts that we still are not quite sure.
Not clear what the crime is.
Man, I just...
Doing podcasts?
You're gonna have, if you're taking up with the pre-cogs,
you've got such a problem with it,
they're the ones that they print out the winning ball.
I will.
If office ladies are okay and this is illegal,
something's wrong.
Something's wrong.
They haven't committed a pre-crime.
Go hassle Conan down the hall.
Conan's haloed already.
Oh, you haloed Conan?
Shit.
You haloed Conan.
How did you fit it around that hairdo?
It was an impot.
I had to shave his head.
Did you need a ladder to put it on?
I needed a...
Well, I tried to three ring toss it sort of.
All right.
Well, we need to go to our next guest.
She's in the music industry.
This is exciting.
Please welcome for the first time on the show, Maximo Tutti.
Thank you.
Maximo.
Maximo.
Maximo.
Maximo.
Maximo.
Maximo, yes.
No, Maximo Tutti.
Maximo Tutti.
Welcome to the show.
Thank you.
Thank you, Scott.
You're in the music industry.
I'm in the opera industry.
Oh, opera?
Yes.
Very classic.
I'm performing here at the Dolby.
The Dolby, really?
Yes, I'm a professor at the opera,
and I'm performing here at the Dolby.
Wait, wait, wait.
How do you...
You're a professor.
How do you mean you're performing?
What does that mean?
Well, I'm a professor of...
I'm a professor of opera.
You're from Italy?
Yes, I'm from...
I'm from Italy.
Oh, okay.
I was just there.
Were you there when I was there?
I don't know.
I go back all the time.
Well, I was there earlier in the year.
Do you think you were there?
I was definitely there, yes.
You were definitely there earlier in the year?
I think so, yes.
I mean, I was there.
I was there with my mom and my non-man.
I was there to see...
Oh, okay.
But, you know, I'm in the States now because I'm on tour,
and of course, I'm here today to talk about
whether Comedy Bank could become a good successful opera.
Oh.
Yes, so I'm hoping...
Oh, you're meaning adapting for the stage,
to be an opera?
Oh, no.
God, I'm so sorry, my love.
Oh, is that your phone?
What's going on?
I did not want for this to happen at the same time.
What's going on?
I'm sorry, what was that?
Your phone is ringing?
It's my bean alarm.
Your bean alarm?
It's my bean alarm.
I'm sorry, it's bean time.
Oh.
You just reached into your bag.
Oh, it's bean time.
Maxima reached into her bag,
took out a can of beans and a can opener.
I'm so sorry.
This is not...
I don't need to explain this in Italy,
but of course, in America, nobody knows who I am.
People call me Reggie in Italy
because I am scot-a-jato all the time.
Anyway, once upon a time...
I don't understand anything that you just said.
I farted during an opera,
and everybody thought it was so funny.
So now I'm the farting guy in the opera in Italy,
and it's my life's work,
but I have to make the people happy.
I have to give them what they want.
You're the farting opera singer?
I am the idyllis-famous farting opera singer.
Oh, my God.
I think I've seen this on TikToks.
Huge news.
I did not want to bring it up.
I wanted to stay professional,
but I have to eat a can of beans for my show tonight.
You love to create thoughts.
Oh, so this is what people expect of you.
Not what you're doing to try to dispel this.
No.
I was going to say, it was kind of cosy.
So we're seeing you.
This is how you're working for.
By the way, you're a man, I'm realizing.
I am a man, but many people think I'm a small Italian bambina.
I'm a little child.
I may have mis-standard you when I introduce you.
No, don't worry about it.
I apologize.
I'm 44, but everybody, because I am 44,
everybody thinks that I'm a small boy or a girl.
Kids are small.
Kids are small.
We can agree on that.
In general, I think so, yeah.
I'm one of those high-pitched Italian opera singers,
and actually my hormones did not...
Sorry, I have to continue.
Okay, yeah.
You're about one-eighth of the way opening those beans.
You've got to get those in there.
How early do you have to eat those before the performance?
About three or four hours, before a short time.
That's when it really kicks in?
Yes.
Is that when it kicks in?
That's when it really...
The digestion?
I don't want to talk about the farting the whole time.
But we can talk about it a little bit, can we?
I would really...
I have several questions about the fart.
Okay, Keith, hit her, yeah.
We're going to go around the table.
We probably have a few apiece.
Just a few fart questions.
Okay, I just want to say that if you want to talk
about the farting the whole time,
it's going to get very old, very tiny.
I'm sure it will.
I'm sure it will.
We'll talk about the opera.
We'll talk about the singing and the theory.
Let's just get through the fart.
Mainly the fact that you're a professor
and yet you still perform.
Of course, I mean, I don't make all my money
from the school.
I don't, you know, I have to...
The majority of the money come from these
big, huge concerts that you do?
Yes.
I'm surprised you need to be a teacher
if you're performing at the Dolby.
At the Dolby, you know.
Yeah, but opera is what I want.
I believe that's 4,500 seats.
He's doing five nights there.
Five nights at the Dolby.
Five nights at the Dolby.
I think you can quit your professor job.
No, but the professor, I'm teaching
the young minds about opera, you know.
You almost have that can open.
Oh, sorry.
You're right.
Thank you.
By the way, how many do you have to eat?
Do you just eat one bean and go,
that'll take care of it?
It depends on what you have.
You know, some beans are stronger
than the other beans.
You know, in Italy, you have canolin,
you have sorrentini, you have toscanello,
corona, schiertkona.
Oh, okay.
You have tenure.
Borlott.
As a professor, are you tenured?
Oh, so I heard that you're talking
about a kind of bean.
No.
He's not ordering a type of bean,
a tenured bean.
Oh, okay.
Sorry.
A ten-year bean.
A ten-year bean.
You got a ten-year bean.
On the vine.
Yeah.
Ten years on the vine.
No, but on my...
It's a strong bean.
Sounds it, yeah.
No, my question is, do you have ten-year?
Oh, yes.
As a professor.
As a professor.
I heard a little that there was
a little bit in there.
There was a little bit in there.
Well, I admit it.
Oh.
He can't help it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
He slips into it.
It is what I love.
Being the farting man is not what I love,
you know.
I'm sorry.
That's what the people love.
How long ago?
You do it for the people.
I do it for the people.
How long ago did that happen
by the weird people?
So, yeah.
How long ago...
Well, I was making my way
being to playing, you know,
this small boy in Tosca,
playing the small boy in Rigoletto
with the letters,
playing the magic flute
and Mozart's magic flute.
I was playing this small character.
Magic flute, a character in that?
Sonata Stato.
In the versions in Italy.
Oh, okay.
Yes.
Maybe you haven't seen that.
Okay.
That's where the magic flute came from.
And then, of course, one day
I let a little toot come out.
Which shell was it during?
Like a magic flute.
It was a Rigoletto.
Rigoletto.
So, you're in the middle of Rigoletto?
No, it's the La Traviata.
It's a pretty woman, as you call it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pretty woman.
Yeah, don't kiss on the mouth, etc.
Exactly.
Sure thing.
Sure thing.
Yeah.
And so, you're in the middle
of La Traviata and...
And I'm supposed to just
be bringing a little letter,
but of course, you know...
Was it a thing
where it was like air got
into your lungs?
Oh, I had my Nomas Beans before,
which normally I never have
before going on stage
at the fear of being
the first thing once.
That's almost open, by the way.
You can give one more
rotation and probably get there.
So close.
Yeah, just for...
Like my Nomas says,
you know, if you weren't
supposed to be farting,
then why would God
make a toilet shape
like a tuba?
Yeah.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
Wow.
That saying's never
made sense to me before,
but now, yeah.
We're still clear.
I'm sure the echo from the toilet
makes it sound amazing.
It's beautiful,
and that's what the people want,
but I like the classics,
so that's why
I am still in academia.
So I can pass it on.
Shit, cazzo,
cazzo, I forgot a spoon.
Does anybody have a spoon,
or perhaps...
Joe, get that spoon out.
Never carry a spoon.
So we're some pickups, by the way,
the only band that carries
a lot of spoons with them,
I've noticed, yeah.
Spoon man.
Yeah.
Not even Soundgarden has spoons.
No, no, no.
You would think with
everyone throwing spoons at them
during their performances,
Rocky Horror Style.
I went to the merch table
with Soundgarden back then,
and there was no spoons.
No spoons?
It's weird.
That is a missed opportunity.
I was not happy
that I was going to get a spoon.
Yeah, but, yeah.
Okay, so how many spoons do you need?
It looks like they have about...
Just one, maybe two,
if I bite too hard.
What kind of like,
like a soup spoon?
A soup spoon would be fine,
I think.
What kind of width do you use?
Is this work okay?
No, no, actually,
because the juice of the beans
is what really makes you toothy,
and so you have to have...
Okay, so it sparks no good.
Do you have a show tonight,
or do you just have to
constantly keep your stomach?
Yeah, in a precarious state.
Well, you know,
I don't want to be
caught unaware
if I meet a fan,
and he wants, you know,
me to open the sales.
I have to be able to open the sales.
I see.
I have to be able to
scatter the ashes at sea,
if you will.
Officer Marshall,
is this why we're getting shut down?
This isn't part of it,
but I have sort of been thinking about
the sort of implications
of what my job is,
and like, and a fart,
and you know,
just like the idea that a fart
is a pre-crime to a poop.
That's a good, good point.
Yeah.
Please don't give my audience
any ideas.
I'm just,
but look at me.
I cannot bear it, no.
Not the pooping singer, no.
No, you can't be the pooping singer.
Have you ever, though,
has it ever,
has it ever,
you've been prepared to do a...
That is the secrets of the trade.
But so you did.
You accidentally shit your pants.
How many times,
like, what percentage?
How many times have I been to Brazil?
How many times have you been to Brazil?
At least six,
or is it,
yeah, there's six or seven.
Okay, you got it.
So if you were punk rock,
you'd shit your pants on purpose.
Right, but...
You'd hang your ass out
over the audience code.
It's for you, mate.
Were you a Gigi Allen fan, by the way, Keith Keith?
Do you know who that is?
Yeah, yeah.
Big fan.
I like body whore and me punk rock.
Body whore.
Okay.
So you,
so it happens a lot.
Yes, it happens every once in a while.
It depends on the beans,
on the strength of the beans,
on the shape of the beans,
on the country, of course.
But I really don't want to be talking about this.
I know, I know.
Just a few more questions, though.
I think I just have six more.
Do people,
do people laugh when,
when you do the fart?
They laugh,
they love, they laugh.
Do they applaud?
They say,
do it again, do it again.
Regi,
scoreggiato,
farting man.
Is it like built up to
one big moment,
or is it throughout the show?
Yeah.
You know how like in a great aria
that you listen to,
like a huge high note,
it just brings down the house.
It's punctuated by this
Absolutely.
Passing of the gas.
As I say,
Sonucrastrato,
I am the hormone problems as a child.
And so I have the high voice
when I sing.
Right.
Long limbs,
because of poor joint function.
Yeah.
You're very short.
You have the long limbs.
Super long limbs.
And expanded aria in my lungi.
And so,
so yeah.
On the high notes.
Italian is such a beautiful language.
It's gorgeous.
Lungi.
You still look like a Bolo Mipiace.
Yeah.
So sometimes we like it.
Yeah,
the kind that Ducky wore
in Pretty in Pink.
Yeah.
You know,
you got a little nub there
as your torso.
Yeah.
And then you got the strings
or your limbs hanging off.
Yeah.
And then you got the strings down
and take down an ostrich.
Please not.
Please don't try.
God,
if an ostrich walked in right now,
though,
man,
I would be tempted.
No promises.
If an ostrich walks in,
mate,
I'm throwing you around the edge
to tangle up its legs.
See,
that is what you want me to do.
I'll do it for the show.
Would you rather be known as that
as the opera singer
who got thrown at an ostrich?
I mean,
I think I am already known,
but if I could have a chance
to expand my range,
I...
Well,
you know,
some people are celebrities
for one thing
and then they do another thing
and get put in prison.
Like you...
Comedy Bang Bang.
And they're known for that.
Yeah,
that's very popular
with some of the people I grew up with.
Yeah,
get canceled.
Yeah,
don't take care of the spotting.
Just get canceled.
Well,
I was thinking maybe
I could collaborate
and make an opera with you,
Scott,
about Comedy Bang Bang,
but maybe now
if the podcasts
are not allowed anymore,
we could make...
It could be a new thing.
What do you think,
Coppert?
What about a...
Obviously,
an opera is...
It's different.
That's a different...
Who's in charge of that?
Pre-crime opera division.
There is so far not one,
but if there becomes too many operas,
they might have to.
There's a lot of operas.
Too many.
I hate to keep circling back on that,
but is that the crime?
There's too many podcasts.
Do you want me to get
the fucking pre-con in here?
Oh.
All right,
calm down,
please, officer.
Okay.
All right,
well,
maybe we could collaborate
or,
I mean,
Silver Sun pickups are right here.
What if they turn to do an opera band?
I have one more song in us
for the show,
and it would be wonderful.
Turn me up, Ryan.
Oh,
it's very nice.
Oh,
Christine!
Christine!
Come on.
Angel of Moose!
Music!
Beautiful.
Was that good singing?
It's so moving.
That was really hard.
Sing for me!
Sing!
Yes,
that is my specialty.
Maximal, Maximal,
thank you.
I noticed,
I noticed you haven't,
you haven't eaten
any of the beans yet,
but I'm wondering
if you had some earlier,
because,
in that moment there,
I kind of smelled something.
Yeah,
it's sort of a little
SBD action going on in here.
Wow,
I think
I kind of smell.
I'd be honored to see the
four-ing sing a four.
Did you do a pre-poop crime?
I have to say,
I am honestly
offended
that you would think
you would not hear my farts.
Yeah,
I don't know.
My farts
since 1995,
okay?
I feel like if you did,
we'd know.
You would know.
I don't drink the juice
for nothing.
What happened in 1995
that amplified your farts?
1995,
well,
you said it would quiet
before then.
Yeah,
what was the moment?
Of course,
this was the year after
Weezer's first album came out.
Exactly.
So we were all hearing
their third single
at the time,
which was,
punk rock.
What was that,
officer?
I might have been
undone the sweat or something.
Maybe that was.
Pre-pissed.
Probably the Buddy Holly video
came out around that.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Packaged with Windows 95.
If you want to...
It's a pre-picker.
Oh, Windows 95.
That puts it in perspective.
It's on those
95s and most punk rock windows
operating system.
It didn't work.
That's punk rock.
So what happened?
Punk rock.
So I started getting paid.
Oh.
So I'm a professional now,
so I started getting paid
and I've been on tour
with Weezer.
Oh, wow.
Really?
I saw you on the Pinkerton tour
with them.
Yes, a collaboration.
It was great.
If you want to
roll my sweater,
pull my finger
as I walk away.
Oh, that's right.
They would adapt their lyrics
for that.
I heard about this tour.
That is kind of my hosting.
And the cranberries.
Yeah, you got to pull my finger.
Or you got to pull my finger.
Absolutely.
Gone too soon.
Gone too soon.
Fought like Buddy Holly
on the Pascasse,
like Mary Toile over there.
Oh, my God.
I really did not want
to make this the first show.
I know.
I know, but Officer Marshall
has a few questions.
I have a legitimate question
that's not about the fire.
Oh, thank you.
Please.
Give it to me.
Are Italians known
for eating beans?
Yeah, I mean,
I was just there.
I was just there
and I did not see beans
on any of the menu.
Fajole.
They're from the different
regions.
Maybe you did not know
what they are called.
They're called the Fajole.
Oh, different regions.
Fajole.
Yes.
And the different regions
are called the Fajole.
Oh, different regions.
And the different regions.
And the San Goli.
Yes.
And the Tuscany,
you have some beans
and then you
have some beans.
Oh, that's right.
Tuscansoup has.
Okay.
And I forgot you had
a ministrone.
You're more of a person
of the world at this point.
So you sort of
You belong to the world.
You're talented.
Yes, I am on that song as well.
Has anything
affect like
having to
fart constantly
on tour?
Has that affected
your personal?
Absolutely.
Are you still able
to have anal sex?
Yes.
Yes.
How many?
No.
Look, I know that's
what you were asking, Brian.
I'm just going to
cut to the chase.
I was just saying
your personal fart life.
But I would
I should say.
I would say.
Those long limbs.
Yes.
Yes.
It's it's it's
Is everything loose down there
and you know.
Loose when it needs to be
and not so loose
when it needs to be.
I know.
Exactly.
They're talking about
the perfect control
of your valve.
Absolutely.
I just got a text from the
Precogs.
They're talking about
this was the crime.
Oh no.
I think the Precogs
are on their phones too
much.
They're always
texting and tweeting
and looking at tiptocks
and whatnot.
Oh my god.
The Precogs are
going to twitter feed it.
Disgusting.
You know, the whole
the photon.
I'm on the Precogs
Facebook page right now.
They just changed their
relationship status.
Wait, they did?
It's complicated.
I guess I'll be hearing
about that on the
drive home today.
I got a question
for the opera singer.
Yes, if
What sort of benefits
you get at that professor job?
Well, I get to farm and
shape the minds of the young.
No, we're going to
health benefits.
Are you into health benefits?
Are you looking to
change careers?
Yeah.
Mid-day jobs got bad
benefits.
Richfield.
How's your dental?
I got none.
What's your copay?
It's been better.
$100.
$100 for a copay?
That's too much.
It's too high.
I've worked for the town
for several decades.
Yeah, cause yeah,
this is no good.
You got a switch job.
Maybe you could be a professor.
A professor of punk rock.
I don't know about that.
Why not?
I mean, there probably are
some out there, but
Professor, I think so.
Yeah.
I mean, you could get a job
somewhere and not in the United
States.
And maybe you could have
the health there.
What?
You could have the health there.
What?
The health.
The health.
The health care.
You could have the health care.
You could have the health care.
Oh, health care, health care.
Oh, God, God, God, God, God.
That's the thing people have.
Yeah.
Which country, which
country reacts the most
to health care?
Health care.
Yeah.
Which country reacts the most
insane to the fart moment?
Oh, the United States.
They love it.
Oh, yeah.
We love it here.
They love it.
Yeah.
I mean, you're playing the Dolby.
Five nights.
That's a great, I mean, you know
why it's called the Dolby.
Thomas Dolby is the first person
to ever play that place.
Right.
Who's he?
Thomas Dolby.
She blinded me with science?
Yeah.
Didn't you?
She blinded me?
Thomas.
Was it science?
Do you know Miss Nagamoto?
I know Madame Butterfly.
She's beautiful.
Okay.
She'll be the first one to do, although
I saw Elvis Costello there once, and I
suspected something was going on.
I think at a SoFi stadium, the first
person to perform was Sophia Coppola.
Interesting.
That's why they call it SoFi.
What does she do?
A reading from the Boston translation?
I saw that, yeah.
Yeah, she did.
She did.
She did a version of Suicide's Life.
Yeah.
She did a reading of Virgin Suicide.
She did every person, too.
Yeah.
She acted them all out.
Wow.
Equally low-key.
Yeah, very low-key.
Interesting.
She just has a dog.
She's not even acting.
But then I got quite caught up in it.
Scott, I have a question for you.
Oh, a question for me.
Are you turning the tables?
If I may, if we could collaborate together
on making comedy bang bang an opera.
If it was an opera, what kind of opera
would it be?
A funny opera?
A sad opera?
One where the woman dies?
If you ask people who listen, probably not
that funny.
Too confusing.
See?
Like a little hard to get into, unless like
you have a friend who kind of tells you
what's going on.
You actually make references to previous
operas you've not heard.
Talk about the weather a lot at the top
of the show.
A grand opera, one that involves all elements
of things, the ballet, the costume design.
The two things that are in shows.
Ballet, costume design.
Those are the first two things, I think.
And also an extremely dense plot.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I think there should be farting in this.
There should be farting, of course.
No, please.
Please, I don't want, first of all,
I have to save my farts for the stage.
Thank you.
So we're going to collaborate, but you're not
going to be in it?
Come on.
Maximum.
I just want to be an opera singer.
I don't want to be the farting opera singer anymore.
I apologize.
Have you tried not farting?
And what give the people who know what they want?
Have you just come on stage?
Yeah, maybe.
One of these nights at the Dolby.
Just promise us.
One of these nights.
Also, Billy Joe won't do it once.
I saw Billy Joe and he refused to play piano man.
An audience rioted.
Yeah, really?
And rushed the stage and murdered Liberty DeVito,
the drummer.
And ate the skin off his bones.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
So I can't recommend not farting.
You were there for the show?
You were there for the show?
It was before I was in the punk rock.
Man.
It was the bridge tour in 1986.
He was singing running on ice.
And he said, I won't do piano man.
He's out loud.
Said he won't do it.
He said he wouldn't do it.
And we rushed the stage.
Oh, you were part of this?
Yeah.
It sounded like you were an observer.
No, I led the crowd.
I said, let's kill him.
Was there anyone else or was it just you?
It was just me.
And in spirit, the audience cheered me along.
So you bum rushed the stage?
I bum rushed the stage and murdered a human and devoured his skin.
Really?
How far did you get before security tackled you?
I got up on stage.
Maybe like three steps.
Okay.
I had a meek continence, so they weren't too threatened.
They just kind of like pointed the way.
And you said, okay, I get it.
I put my hands around Liberty's neck and he said, quit it.
And I did.
Okay.
All right.
Well, look, Maximo.
Yes, thank you.
I'm sorry, but we're running out of time.
We don't have any time for any actual questions about your,
like, I'm sorry.
We had so many farting questions.
We don't have time for any non-farting questions.
This is what I did not want to happen.
No, I know, but you brought out the beans and that's what happens.
I can do more than one thing at once.
I can see human breastfeeding and also existing.
I mean, men can do that too.
Are you going to start breastfeeding?
No, I'm a man.
Oh, that's right.
Can I milk you, Greg?
Well, which part?
Greg, can I milk you?
Okay.
Look, but we are running out of time.
I'm so sorry.
We only have time for one final feature on the show and that is,
of course, a little something called plugs.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
That's the theme of the show.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Plug your stuff.
Here we go.
Ooh, that was nice.
Silverstone Pickups, what did you think of that?
That was like professional level.
I really enjoyed that.
Yeah, that was Oh, No Duet by Shaw Yon.
Thanks to Shaw Yon.
And what are we plugging here?
Obviously, Silverstone Pickups, the album physical thrills is in
stores now.
That's right.
How many songs?
It has 14.
14.
Is that too much?
That's too much, yeah.
It's probably too much, right?
It's got too much on there.
Yeah.
Got a few small ones.
I gotta say, when I see an album that's nine songs,
I'm like, even if they're long, I'm like,
let's get it up there to 10 at least.
But then when I see 14, I'm kind of like,
I don't know, five at the time.
13 is the right number.
Maybe cut one.
Number 52, but remember.
Speaking of cutting one.
Oh, you're going to go back.
I haven't heard anything, but again,
I'm really smelling.
That was me.
That was you, officer.
You getting the spirit?
I'm about to commit a pre-crime.
I'll tell you what.
You're going to the bathroom.
That's impressive.
Physical thrills.
Everyone should buy it.
I'm going to steal it.
I'm going to shoplift it.
You can have it.
No, I don't need it.
I'll shoplift it.
Oh, he's just going to give you a promo copy.
Is that all right?
Yeah, I love that.
I'm just going to perform it in your eyes.
I can't handle it emotionally.
Well, Keith, Keith, do you have anything you want to say?
Yeah.
Oh, the plug a podcast I'm a fan of.
God, you can't handle the sleuths by real eyes.
Oh, yeah.
It's an improvised, actually, the format's changing quite a bit
from episode to episode.
But the general idea is it's an improvised murder.
An improvised murder?
No, it's an improvised murder mystery.
So it's not premeditated.
So the precog division would not be a red ball.
Yeah, if we improvised a murder,
the murder of the precogs can't catch us.
Nothing from the cop?
I'll allow it, but watch yourself.
That tracks.
It's so not a CBB world.
So I think, you know, fans of the show might like it.
OK, wonderful.
Yeah, just me plug.
All right.
And Officer Marshall Sargent, what do you want to plug?
Well, in my research, I've had to listen to a lot of podcasts
in my day.
I've listened to three that I actually really, really like.
Oh, OK, hit us.
One is called Get Played.
Yes.
It's a video game podcast.
Thank you.
Love it.
Love the people.
They are actually going to jail also.
Oh, good.
Good, good, good.
I'll see them there.
Nick Weigher.
Yeah.
I'm going to Halo, Nick Weigher.
I'm going to jail or just stopping the show.
Yeah, what's going to happen?
If you're in jail.
I'm still fuzzy.
The show's not happening.
You're Halo.
I'm Halo.
That's right.
OK, got it.
And then they have a spin-off show on Patreon called Get Animated,
where they watch and discuss anime.
You can get that on Stitcher Premium as well,
patreon.com.
Get Played.
And there's other podcasts called What's With These Homies?
Talking About Weezer, hosted by Matt Pataka.
What do you think about that summer record?
When I listened to it, he said he really liked it.
Oh, OK.
He was very pleased.
First song is Ify, and then it gets OK.
Really liked Blue Like Jazz.
Yeah, that's a good one.
So check out those podcasts, but only those,
because I'm coming for the rest.
OK, yeah.
All right.
Maximo Tutti, what do you want to plug here?
Oh, well, I know that I don't want to be plugged.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Hello.
Hello.
Thank you, thank you.
Leave him alone.
My asshole.
OK.
Yes.
Anyway, you can come see me at the Dolby.
Just stand outside, yell for Maximo,
and maybe I'll come out.
Don't you want people to come into the Dolby
and watch you perform?
Oh, I'm not even inside the Dolby.
Oh, OK.
I'm performing outside the Dolby.
Oh, you're outside the Dolby.
Oh, wait.
So, wait.
The Dolby is over there by Matt's Chinese.
Are you just...
Yes, yes, yes.
Are you dressed as Spider-Man or something?
I'm wearing tips, yes.
I do need that, Professor Job, after all.
Yes, well, it's certainly nice to have money.
Yeah, oh yeah, it buys things.
All right, well, I want to plug...
Look, we're out on tour right now.
Comedy Bang Bang Tour.
Tonight, we're in Boston.
Nice.
Then Tuesday, Providence, Rhode Island.
Wednesday, Portland, Maine.
Friday, Cleveland, Ohio.
Saturday, Detroit, Michigan.
Royal Oak, actually, I think.
And Sunday, we're in Toronto.
Toronto.
Oh, my God.
Come out and see us.
Paulette Tompkins, me and special guests.
We've been having some great special guests.
You've been hearing about it.
And of course, all of those episodes, you can hear the day after that.
We do them over on CBBworld.com.
And as long as you pay for it, I guess I can say.
But sign up for a year and you get two months free,
or you could just sign up for this month and hear all the episodes
and then peace out.
It's the cheapest thing you could do.
CBBworld.com, everything is over there.
All right, let's close up the old plug bag.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Come on.
C'mon, punk rocker.
Oh, no.
C'mon, punk rocker.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Take one hand, put it up.
Take the other, put it down.
You're gonna make a box it's time to start to close it.
But don't close it too much or you open up the plug bag.
We're opening up that plug bag.
And when you open up that plug bag,
you open up your heart for the rest of the world.
I'm talking open up the plug bag.
I'm opening up the plug bag.
Open up the plug bag as hard as you can.
Let you open up your heart.
Open up the plug bag.
Let's always focus on my voice.
Oh, wow.
Put it in there.
You were in there.
That was from your previous appearance, wasn't it?
That's now my biggest hit.
Wow.
That's amazing.
That was a closing theme called Will Hines by Actually Simpson.
Oh, Actually Simpson's been doing a lot of these themes.
That's great.
What did you think about that?
Did you recognize the song that was underneath it?
No, I did not.
The damned?
No, I did not.
One of the first neat neat neat, one of the first punk songs ever?
No.
Never, never did.
Is it on Dookie?
No, I don't think so.
No, I don't know it.
Speaking of Dookie, though, Maximo Tutti, so great to meet you.
I'm so sorry for talking about farts the whole time.
He did not want for this one.
Yeah, I know, yeah.
Good to see you.
Yeah, good to see you.
Keith Keith, great to see you.
Great to see you.
Silver Sun Pickups, you're great to have you.
You're going to play one last song.
And Officer Marshall, Sergeant.
You're going to halo me after this song?
What's going on?
I had such a good time here.
Maybe I turned my body cam off.
Oh.
Is that good or you're going to shoot me?
I don't know quite how to take that.
I guess everybody's going to have to tune in next week and see what happens.
All right.
All right, well, let's hear one last song from Silver Sun Pickups.
Now, is this off the new record?
This is not.
Is this an oldie?
This is an oldie.
And yet, goodie?
It is a goodie.
Oh, okay.
Let's not even say what it is.
Let's have it be a surprise.
If you want to, you know, riff a little bit during this,
that would be wonderful.
You don't have to.
You don't, you can use.
I'll do the magic flute.
You can do the off.
Do the magic.
Oh, you're going to.
Oh, yeah.
You want to pass gas.
That's wonderful.
But if you have, just do that.
All right, Nikki.
You made your blues riff and B and watch me for the changes and try to keep up.
Okay.
All right, here we go.
Silver Sun Pickups.
I've been waiting.
I've been waiting.
I've been waiting for this moment all my life.
But it's not quite right.
And it's real.
It's impossible, impossible.
Who's blind work?
So clever, so unheard.
I've been waiting.
I've been waiting for the silence all night long.
It's just a matter of time.
Do I be sad?
With the same piece of lazy I fix to rest on you?
It feels so untrue.
Everyone's so into my rearrange.
Everyone can focus clearly.
I've been waiting for this moment all my life.
I've been waiting for this moment all my life.
I've been waiting.
I've been waiting for this moment all my life.
I've been waiting.
I've been waiting for this moment all my life.
I've been waiting for this moment all my life.
I've been waiting.
I've been waiting.
I've been waiting.