Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Vera Drew, Tim Baltz, Casey Feigh

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

Writer/director Vera Drew joins Scott to talk about her new film The People’s Joker, being an editor on the Comedy Bang! Bang! TV show, and Scott’s role as Mr. Freeze in her film. Then, Randy Snut...z returns to talk about his new endeavor operating a traveling karaoke station. Plus, composer Joey Salsa returns to sing songs from his new musical about his life.

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Starting point is 00:00:29 ["Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang think maybe he had a drinking problem? Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. An interesting hypothesis, one we probably will not explore, but thanks to the tiny mammoth for that catchphrase submission, don't think it's going to stick, but who knows next week I may say it again. Welcome to Comedy bang bang for another addition. This is of course, used to be the show where we talked to interesting people. Now it is Humanities and the Animal Kingdoms podcast. We have a great few guests coming up. We have a person, I don't even know how to describe a person who used to clean ice out of urinals.
Starting point is 00:01:06 I can't remember if he cleaned ice out of them or whether he just cleaned the ice that was in them or the ice would melt and he would pour more into them. But we'll figure out all of that out when he comes on a little later. We also have a person with an exciting opportunity coming up after that. A packed show, I have to say. If you, I mean, some of these show, I gotta tell you, the worst fucking guest, come on this. And this week we have a guy who used to clean ice out of a urinal with an exciting opportunity, I should say. But let's get to our first guest.
Starting point is 00:01:40 She is the writer and a director used to full disclosure, used to edit the comedy bang-bang television program. So you know there'll be softballs. Although, I gotta say, if you're just walking down the street and someone threw a softball at you, that would be dangerous. So who knows what... This is the safest kind of softball somebody could throw you exactly I have seen close up um she has a new uh uh uh uh uh film that she co-wrote and directed called the people's Joker which uh was embroiled in controversy and just earlier in the year but it has its premiere this Saturday at Outfest.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Please welcome Vera Drew. Hello. Hello. Thanks for having me on. Great to have you. It's nice to see you again. I was so, I'm so nervous to do this because I've been listening to you. You've been on the other side.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Oh, you've been listening too. Well, I, yeah, I mean, I, I got to admit, like, I haven't, I have fallen off a little bit in recent years. I think I have you. Was it COVID? We're having me as a boss. You're about to say, you see the behind the, yeah, you see all the bullshit behind the, yeah, I guess. Surprisingly, though, I have, I've revisited the, I've seized comedy bang bang quite a bit over the years. Like, it's, I think, I hear it's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is like fine one. Which seasons did you work on? My impression of it was four and five, but I don't know. I started, so I was on set for season two as a DIT. And if people don't know
Starting point is 00:03:20 what DIT is, it's basically did, right? Yeah, exactly. I'm not, I'm still not quite sure what that job was. It's a person who basically would run in all the time and go, yeah, you have to stop. You have to stop, we have to do the DIT. And then everything was shut down for like 15 minutes, right? Yeah, most stressful job, I think you could have on set, just constantly telling people, we're running out of media and I need to back up everything.
Starting point is 00:03:43 I think we lost that entire take. Well, we would also do, we would do long ass takes, which was a DIT is basically the person who takes all of the things recording everything, transfers it, wipes it clean and then comes back with those because they're all expensive and yeah, you need to recycle them as much as you can, but we would do super long takes and it would be like, and every once in a while, it would be like, we need to stop. Yeah, as you can, but we would do super long takes, and they would be like, and every once in a while, we'd be like, we need to stop.
Starting point is 00:04:06 Yeah, because you're just running out of memory. Which you never wanna do while somebody's in the middle of an improvised experience. Yeah, they were on a roll, but that was hardly ever probable on our channel. Yeah, yeah. So second season, you were the person doing that, and I gave you Neriah Glantz.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Yeah, no, I don't think we talked maybe once. I think I talked to Reggie that season more than you. I doubt he remembers. Well, he's a real glad Andrew. He's out there going to meet not the crew. Yeah. Learning, one thing about him, he likes to learn what everyone does, what everyone's job is. He memorizes their name and he memorizes all their children's names.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Yeah, so I couldn't remember his lines. He learned everybody's name and occupation on set. But yeah, then I came in, I think my first episode was the Kevin Smith episode. Oh, season three. Late in season three. Late in season three and then yeah, came in in strong four and four and five and four was the For was the mammoth season Crazy, so you were basically on for more than half the show because
Starting point is 00:05:12 You essentially did about 65 episodes out of 110. Yeah, it's I It's crazy like it's crazy just having that many things that I've edited and like I feel like particularly like that season four, like it kind of was like an impossible task of trying to deliver that many episodes. It was hard, yeah, it was. It was. I, and I made you guys work weekends, but you had a weird schedule.
Starting point is 00:05:41 You had, was it Wednesdays through Sunday? I believe because I had to shoot Monday through Friday and then I would Saturday and Sunday work with you guys. Yeah. You'd come in very, very tired on weekends. Yeah, apparently doing that job was not good for my health, my sanity. Yeah, yeah, I can only imagine, especially like the days
Starting point is 00:06:04 where you were filming multiple episodes in a day and then coming in and like hanging out with like a bunch of sweaty editors. You guys were not sweaty. I want to make sure that is expressly expressed. I was playing into the stereotypes, I guess a little bit. No, you guys actually used to take baths in the middle of the day, didn't you? Yeah. That was when we flipped and became a union show.
Starting point is 00:06:27 That's actually me and Gary and Tee's. They make you take one communal bath per day. But that was more from our side. Yeah. Let's get these guys to big. That's in our contract. So you worked on that for a while and then I didn't see you for a while. You were working at that public access station for a little while with Tony.
Starting point is 00:06:49 And then I didn't see you for a while. Now, another full disclosure, you hit me up, I'm actually in this film. Yes. I'm a movie star. You play Mr. Freeze in this film. Let's talk about the film because you hit me up to be in it. I didn't really know what it was, but I'll do anyone Any kind of paper?
Starting point is 00:07:07 Basically, I was shocked that you said the lack of context that was given I was so blown away that it was an immediate No, honestly like anyone I've worked with if they want me to do something I'll do it Also, I'm offer only and your offer was zero dollars And I was like, well, that's a loophole. Yeah, yeah and your offer was zero dollars. And I was like, well, that's a loophole. Yeah, yeah. But what is, this film is, I want to have you on to talk about it
Starting point is 00:07:31 because it's had a fascinating journey to its now premiere this Saturday. Describe, first of all, just describe what is the film? It's about an unfunny, transsexual clown named Joker, who starts an illegal comedy theater in Gotham City. And it's very, I mean, it's a Batman parody. That's what I say, you know, legally covered by. Basically, and that's what it is. But it's really like autobiographical,
Starting point is 00:08:06 just about my experience working in comedy and coming out as a trans woman and kind of being on, you know, because I've gotten to work on like really cool stuff like comedy bang bang and I can't bless you for remembering. But you also did, I mean, you worked through absolutely, right? So you did, what else did you do? You did.
Starting point is 00:08:28 I worked on Eric Andre show. I was on season one of Nathan for you, craft punks, political party, a handful of Tim and Eric things. I co-directed and produced Tim and Eric's beefhouse, which nobody watched, but not even me. I don't even know what it is. It like came out right at the start of the pandemic, which just kind of killed it. Yeah, yeah, that was that was by design. We didn't want anybody to watch the 20th. Yeah, on adult
Starting point is 00:08:53 swim to when when it's alt comedy was a set. There was a time early in the pandemic where you would watch anything. It was I remember watching that Wilfer. Well, what's the big music festival in Sweden or whatever that they do? The, the, I forget what that Wilfer what's the big music festival in Sweden or whatever that they do. I forget what that movie's called, but. Oh, the Eurovision. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And just something would come out
Starting point is 00:09:15 and it'd be like, thank God, something's here. But apparently not beefhouse. But yeah, I was really, I mean, I've made, I've had a handful of web series series and like video art projects and stuff throughout the years where I was very much on like the fringe and very like kind of unfunny and kind of figuring out my identity through like the art I was creating. So and I really, I wanted to make a movie about that and I'm obsessed with Batman. The Cape Crusader, some call him. Yes, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Is that a good chime in? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Just stops the train of thought immediately. Great chime in. But yeah, that's kind of the long and short of it. It's a comedy, but it's also like a very kind of tender queer coming of age story. And you, are you in it or?
Starting point is 00:10:09 Yeah, I play a character called Joker. The titular Joker. Yes, the titular Joker. I'm the first trans woman ever played Joker. Let's go through the Joker. You have Caesar Romero. Yes, possibly the best because he refused to shave his muscles. Reviews, I did that on a show that Paul Leftopkins was on,
Starting point is 00:10:27 where I put on a fake mustache and make up over him as a tribute to Caesar Romero. But, and then you have Jack. Yeah, there wasn't anybody till Jack. Right. And then, of course, you have, I don't know if I get it well, but anyway, some good people. And then you're the first trans person to play the role. Do you think you'll be the last?
Starting point is 00:10:49 Probably based off of the legal response from Warner, Warner Brothers. Let's talk about this. So basically the show was, or the movie rather, some people call things shows when you're in, when you're in, when they go, I'm working on this show, but it happens to be a movie. Yeah, like you'll hear like grips gathered around me,
Starting point is 00:11:06 like I just got off this, this last show. Do the grip voice though. I just got off this last show. You know, they're talking about like the last Indiana Jones or whatever. Right. That's a movie actually. So this, you just slipped up, I don't know that that's the
Starting point is 00:11:18 thing. I probably did slip up. Thank you for keeping me honest. But this was scheduled to come out at TIFF. It show there was one showing and then you mentioned before Warner Brothers put a give you a cease and desist. Is that right? Well, yeah. So we never we never got an official cease and desist. Like we really just got like kind of this like strongly worded letter that was like we don't think this is a parody.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Like what makes something a parody? Because if you can put out, you know, Batman, a porn parody, it's just people. People in Batman costumes fucking. Like Batman's been fucking Joker and Robin and Catwoman on screen for years, but somebody can't make like a tender gay Batman movie. But yeah, so they sent us that letter literally like two days before we were supposed to premiere.
Starting point is 00:12:09 And they had known about the movie. Like I'm friends with a handful of people and like the Harley Quinn writers room. Yeah. The Penguin himself is my brother. And you know, they really waited to the last minute. I think they were trying to kind of kill our, to really get into the last minute. I think they were trying to kind of kill our... To really get into the next kill a big film sale.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Yeah, and there's no point in doing it two weeks before, because then you would explore your options and learn that you could do it or whatever. But two days before it was meant, that happened to me once when we were doing the day the clown cried reading with Pat Nodzwald, which is this Jerry Lewis movie we were doing in a script reading, and we would do it around town every once in a while
Starting point is 00:12:45 and then they gave us a season to assist like a few hours before we were supposed to go on. And that, it just is there to scare you. It's just in your cap, yeah. And yeah, it's really scary you. And it freaked me out, I guess, but I think it's your beat. It scared my team more and kind of the people that were sort of trying to help me put together release and we weren't gonna premiere
Starting point is 00:13:10 but I was like I got a passport to go to Canada like we should do it like we're all here so we actually negotiated with the head of Warner Canada and we're like we have like an army full of people that are already ready to see this movie tomorrow. Let us screen. So we had our screening. It was great. And then I kind of paused after that to sort of go back to my lawyers and just make sure that we were in, you know, the legal green zone.
Starting point is 00:13:41 And like I had to finish the movie. Like the movie still had some effects and stuff that needed to be done. It's live action but there's like a lot of animation and like every kind of animation, stop motion 3d 2d. So there was a lot of moving parts that I needed to bring home before we started screening again and I also wanted to come back with a plan this time instead of the process. Did you help to get it sold when you were up there and then come back? And is it sold? Is that why it's premiering?
Starting point is 00:14:11 Or what's the status now? It's we don't we don't have any like distribution plan set and stone, but it is coming together right now. I mean, really like like, outfest, and pretty much every festival that we've screened at since TIFF, you know, because we've done a handful of secret screenings. Like, I did like a whole secret tour with the movie in Australia. Like, every festival.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Oh, no! Oh, yeah, down on the... Does Batman, is he different down there? Like it just he worked during the day It's so crazy like you know like being 18 years old and listening to like comedy death ray on on a radio Radio listening to you ask these kind of questions to somebody. And they're funny when you're listening. Yeah, and when you're listening, you're sitting here, right?
Starting point is 00:15:09 Breaking into a sweat. But yeah, like every, like outfest is just really gone to bat for us. I mean, they're sponsored by Warner Brothers. Gone to bat, by the way, is a pun. And we should just just really let everyone know that you meant to say that. Yeah, moment of silence for that. And yeah, that's kind of why we were sort of confident
Starting point is 00:15:34 that we were able to screen. That's great. And you know, I mean, the little I learned about parody law doing comedy bang-bang because we would have all these conversations with lawyers all the time. And the closer you are to the thing, the better. I remember there was one thing where we were trying to parody the goolies, which were the, I don't know if you remember, the little monsters
Starting point is 00:15:56 that come out of the toilet and scratch your butt or whatever. And we put them in there and we called them something else and the lawyer was like, no, no, no, you got to call, you got to call him Goolies. That way, everyone knows you're parodying the Goolies. So like, and you're parodying Batman, there's like Batman costumes and Joker costumes and stuff. So it's like, yeah. We've, and like, you're not, you're not basically trying to fool people into going like,
Starting point is 00:16:18 this is the new Batman movie that's coming out. Exactly. And like, I think, you know, the kind of like, like, deep, like, negative nerd response out of Tiff was like, why didn't you just call it like the jokester or something? And it's like, because I actually couldn't do that. That's actually not legal. Yeah, like, that is the, that's trying to, and although that's pretty good, the jokester. The movie goes out of its way to show that it is not a DC movie. Like, like, I mean, there's a lot of canon references just because I love Batman and all
Starting point is 00:16:55 the iterations of Batman. But like, you know, it's the worst Batman that you will ever see. Like he's more like kind of just like an overweight cop in it. And it is interesting because Batman, you know, when you really think about it, you go like, oh, this poor little guy, you got his parents' face blown off for whatever. And so he goes and fights crime. He's really a rich dude who's out there stomping on poor people.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Yeah, and like is still like, look, we all have trauma. It's like it's 2023. All of our lives are miserable. Go to one therapist, Batman. Yeah, you'll get over it. Like this is not the solution. I don't, I don't think that, I don't know that they've ever shown him
Starting point is 00:17:32 going to do a therapist in the comics. Which would, that would cure him. Yeah, it's, it's, yeah. When worse than that, he's like a super dick now. Like it used to be like, hey, okay, he's out there and he's at least like, you know, he had this shit happen to him, but he's out there, you know, trying to help out. Now he's just an asshole to Superman.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Yeah, I mean, I think that was the thing too, making this movie, like I really love the like, I mean, I grew up on the Schumacher Batman's, like I loved the Tim Burton ones, but I loved Batman forever. Like I saw it, it went, I remember seeing it as a kid, and like seeing Nicole Kidman in that movie was like an early like, oh, I think I'm trans or gay
Starting point is 00:18:11 or something for me. Because like just seeing her and the way Batman looked at her and like the rubber nipples, like, you know, some wires got either crossed or just sucked in in that moment. Just everything was pinging for you that moment. Exactly. Oh, boy. And like rubber nipples.
Starting point is 00:18:29 I just love the colorful, campy, fun fact. Did you like the little projected question marks any time the real ridd come on onto the set? Yeah. All the like, all the like, yeah, like the, yeah. Like he said, like he said, in there, like setting up lights beforehand, like, said like he's in there like setting up lights beforehand like or at least telling someone like hey I want all these question marks projected all over it's like we're all the money from like the diamond highest goes to the production design of his layer yeah I like miss those I mean I love the Nolan Batman's like as much as anyone but
Starting point is 00:19:02 I was cool it was cool to see something like, hey, this is Batman realistically, but now we don't need to go darker. It's like, how much, you know, already like this new one, you can't see what's happening on screen, and it's way too quiet. It's like, what's next? Let's go back, let's go back to the,
Starting point is 00:19:19 let's out shoe mucker, shoe mucker. Yeah, no, yeah. I really wanted to make him proud with this movie. And I hope I hope in heaven he's watching down. Do you think he's in heaven? I'd like to think so. Like that heaven at least. Yeah, at least he's probably in a very specific type of heaven.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Like that's where Alfred went when he died. Yeah, spoilers for the current comic book. By the way, I know the current writer chips Zodarsky. Boy, if you're listening chip, you know if you know it's Anyway, so the people's Joker it comes out while it premieres this Saturday. You were telling me 915 I'm gonna check that Against the official record, but apparently that's your opinion.
Starting point is 00:20:05 It comes out 915 this Saturday. Yeah, that is a weird time to. It's strange, especially like I can understand if it's an hour and 45 minutes, but it's an hour and a half. It's an hour, it's a, yeah, cold 92. So I don't really know. Maybe they, and when you say cold 92, you met, it was a Mr. Freeze pun. Yes, yeah, you meant to say that.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Thank you for catching that one too. And I play Mr. Freeze in the film, which upon your instructions, I recorded approximately 40 takes on an iPhone of my life. Line lines, I don't know, but I don't remember. And I picked what I would describe as the most Scott Ackerman. I felt like I did about 40 reads. I was like, oh, the 40th one was actually good.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Yeah, well, that's not it. But I bet you didn't listen to it all the way through. No, I definitely, I definitely think the last one, like if I may do it. Yes, sure. Cool party. Oh, my, sure. The most fancy boy.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Right. Wonderful. And people know it's the craziest thing is there's nothing about the design of the character to suggest it's you, but it is like, I mean to my credit, I guess I'm a good director, like I did pick the Scott Ocarman take. Wonderful. Because people know it's you. And the other people who are in it, you have Tim is in it, right?
Starting point is 00:21:20 Yeah, Tim plays Perry White. It's kind of a Alex Jones version of Perry White, Bob Odin Kirk plays Bob Bagoon, Elliott Glazer plays a character named Timmy Two Times, Sarah Squirms, Sarah Maria Bamford now plays Lauren Michaels. Sarah was one thing you've had you can't do. Hello, Sarah. Sarah was one thing you've had you can't do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Sarah was Lauren Michaels. We she was in the movie before she was cast. Ah, that was what it would be after. That's why she was cast. Yes. Yeah. No, I heard someone does a good impression of me. You're on the shoe. Yeah. Well, this is great. The People Joker comes out this Saturday, and after that, we don't know, but how can
Starting point is 00:22:08 people follow along with the saga? Can follow me at VeraJr.22 on Twitter. I also am doing a behind-the-scenes podcast for my Patreon.com slash VeraJr.22. And yeah, what's the 22 for? Is that the year that you started it? Or is it just rhymes, I think? I think there's also, I think it does, you're right. There's some, hold on, let's test it out, Drew.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Drew, too. Yeah, and then the extra two adds a little bit, it adds like the syllable in between. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Okay. Well, people can follow it there. We're going take a break and there you can stick around, right? Because we have some exciting get. Did you hear who's coming up? We have a
Starting point is 00:22:50 sound exciting. Yeah, someone who cleaned ice out of a urinal once at least and then someone with an exciting opportunity. Pretty good for this show. Not bad. No, no, you've landed some good guests. I feel very honored to be among this illustrious group. All right, well, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more from Vera Drew. We'll have more comedy bang bang. We'll be right back after this. Comedy bang bang, we're back. Vera Drew is here. The people's Joker out this Saturday at an odd time, 915. I would just get there by 9, just in case something happens, it starts early. I'm like wondering if I should show up early just to be on the safe side. I think you should show up early no matter what. I'm so traumatized from TIFF that I worry
Starting point is 00:23:39 that it is just not gonna happen in some way and you might get one of those season desists, literally because of this show, like some, you know, the brother's warner or listening or something like that. And they send you another one. So we'll see it. I mean, you're tempting fate by being on this show because it's a very popular podcast, humanities podcast, and of course, the animal kingdoms, we need to get to our next guest.
Starting point is 00:24:02 He is the aforementioned person who used to dump ice in a urinal or clean the ice that was in it, or take ice out. No, ice that dump the ice in the urinal, and then the urine cleans the ice out of the urinal. That doesn't sound very sanitary to me. Well, we've talked before about how cold your urine stream is. That's a good point. Everyone else is as incredibly hot, and it melts the ice, which gives you a sense of warmth.
Starting point is 00:24:28 And mine would make the ice even more ice. Yeah, essentially, yeah, the glacier. Hence your perfect casting as Mr. Freeze. Thank you so much. Barry, you must have known. By the way, as far as A-block interviews go, no shade. That's the best, most interesting and formative interview you've ever conducted I
Starting point is 00:24:46 Learned something you were you were at attention and every And every time you got called out I was like I Mean it's not bad. I think I'm getting okay at this after 14 years in my 15th year. I'm like. Yeah, I do all right This was that he used to do this job at my favorite restaurant, which is called what the domios? The domios de apostrophe the domes. That's my favorite restaurant. Yeah. And he has his own podcast called what is it called again? Hey Randy, a Randy Snuts show. And that's over at CBB World. Please welcome back to the show Randy Snuts himself. Hello Randy. How can I possibly top that introduction? What are you? Does every guest come on here trying to top their introduction?
Starting point is 00:25:28 I mean, come on, you can just be yourself. I couldn't do better myself though. Well, you don't have to, you're the guest. You sat a high bar, Scott, and I'll never reach it. You are very complimentary today, Randy, I'm not used to it. Well, you know, it's a new year, so I have new habits. Okay, that's good to know. This is Vera, by the way.
Starting point is 00:25:45 How you doing, Vera? It's nice to meet you. Likewise. Really admire your work. Oh, really? What do you know of Randy Snotz's work? The ice part of it, or... Yeah, and the particularly, I think I really resonate with like that feeling of power, like when the ice is melting.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Absolutely. Do you do? That was the other thing I didn't know. Would you dump the ice, and that's the end of your relationship to that particular batch of ice? Or would you come in and check on it all the time and see its progress? Yeah, you have to come in and check to see if more ice needs dumping. But would you check on it just to see how it's going
Starting point is 00:26:18 without that part of it? So you're saying, what I have a personal relationship with this batch of ice? Sure. Like you just want to know like is it melting? Yeah, absolutely I do I want to know that other people are feeling their power like say you dumped a big thing of ice and they were like Randy you're off the clock you go home now would you like wait another half hour can't do it. I'm giving you work for free I Gotta wait until that last cube of ice is melted and then watch someone else put the the new batch of ice
Starting point is 00:26:45 Uh-huh, they'd shake their hand then we wash our hands together then we walk out Wonderful Randy, it's so good to see you you of course a long time guest on this show the saga of of all of your Cummings and goings is legendary Oh, thanks. You have your friends Amber and Stu of course there on my podcast I do play this girlfriend, Karissa is on the podcast. And of course our near-do-well moron, libertarian friend, Marquadabano is on the podcast. And what is going on with Karissa? You mentioned Karissa, but what is,
Starting point is 00:27:16 are you guys, because sometimes you come on here and you're broken up, sometimes you're back together. Absolutely. I mean, it depends on how her devious meter is flowing. Right. And where is it off the charts right now? Right now. No, we're in a good place right now.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Oh, good. Yeah. So work together. I've started a new endeavor. Obviously, I haven't worked at Dadomios in a long time. And why is that? I never knew why you didn't work there anymore. Suddenly, I got there and there was no ice anymore.
Starting point is 00:27:42 They just, they didn't have an ice budget or what exactly happened? Yeah, they lost their ice budget and I was the first one cut. You know, pandemic it, pandemic it and they were like, hey, we got a scale back. We're going to take out and I was like, so you don't need, would you maybe, did you pitch like, maybe I could throw some ice in the bag?
Starting point is 00:28:00 Yeah, I should have taken out. And they could put it in their own toilet. Oh, I mean, you're reading my mind. I had written little handwritten things, stapled to little bags of ice that said. Like little fortune cookies, but it was, they all were the same thing. Well, they all said, if you dare,
Starting point is 00:28:16 dump this ice in your toilet at home and be in it to get a sense of power. Why isn't it like, it kind of sounds like a threat. Yeah, if you dare, why put the if you dare there? It's if you if you dare. Yeah, well, because it seems like you're first of all you're calling people who don't dare cowards. True. implicitly. Yes, absolutely. Why are you afraid to feel this power? Right. Why are you afraid to melt ice with your urine stream?
Starting point is 00:28:39 It's hot. It's inside you. But you bring up a good question, though. Why don't we have ice in our toilets all day? If it's so great in the urinal at restaurants, like why don't we do it at home? Well, because, well, first off, you have to have like an ice machine. Not everybody has that. Sure.
Starting point is 00:28:55 But I mean, you could make the cubes yourself, like overnight, true. Dump them in in the morning. Uh-huh. Then refill them. Yeah. And then by the time you need more ice, you know, maybe they're ready again, you know.
Starting point is 00:29:06 I think that it might take away the special sensation of visiting, you know, an establishment and going into the bathroom and being like, I have to do my dirty business again. So it's basically why you don't have a matredea at your house. This is for the rest of your life. Yeah, and I'm not going to be a matredea myself. You know, I'm not going to be like, Corissa, right this way. Sit down. I ordered pizza. Although, though it sounds nice.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Yeah, she might like some special treatment once in a while. Yeah, that's true for her. What do I do? Do you do special things for her? Yeah, absolutely. Like what? I say things like, that was not duplicitous. You know, so I affirm her good behavior.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Right. So you think the way that she treats me, I should be nicer? I don't, I personally, I think you guys should break up. I mean, I've always said that. Yeah, well that's coming That's coming up soon. Oh, you think so. Well, you said you were in a good place. Oh, I broken up like 785 times We're gonna get back together right you know because I love the way you lie. What are you gonna get married? I mean, do you see that in your future children marriage? I don I don't know. Right now, we're a dink couple. What is dink?
Starting point is 00:30:06 What does that mean? Double-incom no kids. Where'd you see work? I don't even know. Yeah, I don't know. She's between jobs right now. I mean, it's her unemployment. You were like a sink couple, right?
Starting point is 00:30:17 Yeah, true, true. But I got a new endeavor. Oh, yeah. You're a new endeavor. I know. Like a couple of years ago, I bought a limousine off of Craigslist. I guess I didn't know that, but okay. Oh you didn't I had how'd I have known that I announced that on the show Okay, sure, okay. I don't remember every single thing we've talked about on the show
Starting point is 00:30:33 I barely remember the name of my favorite restaurant which is apparently didomios. Yeah, okay got it You probably haven't been in a while. No, I mean, you know after COVID no ice No, no, no visit. Yeah. No ice, no dice. That's one of those rhymes that we were talking about with here earlier. Nice.
Starting point is 00:30:51 That's another one. I know. Thrice. Well, now four times, but yeah. Thrice. Fried rice. Fried. Yep, there we go.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Hey, there we go. And that's the pentagon. So it's it. I wonder how many there we go. That's the pentagon. Yes. I wonder how many times they have fried rice at the pentagon? Do you think they delivered, do they get food delivered at the pentagon or people like not a lot to bring food in there? Because if so, that would be a major security breach, I would think. This is one of those Chiamens Vera was talking about not being good for the podcast.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Why? I'm interested. You want to take a tangent to talk about fried rice of the Pentagon. Yeah. Okay. Um, I bet they have it every other day. I hope so. I hope that for them. They probably do eat it a lot there because I think there is a food court. That's like one of the like staples of food court. Is it right there in the center of the Pentagon? That would be so cool. Yeah, it's so big. That's why they had to build it. They built the food court
Starting point is 00:31:44 first. There's like an orange Julius build it. They built the food court first. There's like an orange Julius and a durwin or snitzel. Sabarro. Generals are going out there. Best pizza, it's fun. Like, could you take a paper napkin and kind of press the oil out of that slice of sabarro? See, this turned out to be a good chime in.
Starting point is 00:31:58 It was. It was pretty good. Okay, good. Anyway, so you're new endeavor. I have a new endeavor. So I converted my limousine into a traveling karaoke station. Oh, I yeah I remember something like this so you would pick people up I pick people up It's BYOB that can bring in whatever they want really well then you have to park if you want to drink
Starting point is 00:32:16 Oh, okay, if you want to drink well, well, I mean no if they want a drink you can't drive around I've always wondered what is what is the the legality of having liquor in the back of a limo? Is it just because it's a limo? And there's a window in between. And the window on mine is busted. So if we get pulled over, they're gonna be like, oh, the window wasn't up. Well, like if you were drinking in the back seat of my car
Starting point is 00:32:37 and I get pulled over, can I just go, no, this is a limo. I have to test your luck, my friend. I have to test your luck, my friend. Since stall a window, I guess. I guess, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've okay. So, which is, it's been great. It's been very fruitful on people love my hosting skills too. Oh, see, are you driving while you're hosting? I'm driving and I have a microphone up front and then there's one microphone in the back.
Starting point is 00:33:13 What's that one for? The people singing? Yeah, the guests. Okay. Well, that was implied. It's not karaoke like it was a special thing. Well, you, it seemed like you were implying that the karaoke was I drive around and sing karaoke and people just sit in the back and lose it up. No, I was not implying that.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Okay. I just find it funny that you're hosting well driving. That's all I asked you. Well, it's just hosting, you know, I kick things off and then, you know, I get the mood going with a song. You know, I have a couple standards that I'm really good at. What are you good at? Which ones? Are you want to hear it? Not the song, but I just want to hear the title of them. Qu'est-ce que vous avez fait ? Qu'est-ce que vous voulez dire ? Non, mais je veux juste dire que les titres sont élevés. Ok, La VR Rose, par EWTF. Est-ce que vous êtes en sang dans le sang ? Dans le sang ? Vous êtes absolument là.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Je peux vous donner 15, 20 secondes. C'est sûr, je vais ici. Ok. Ok, écoutez un second. Des yeux qui font baisser les mien, un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche, Voila le portrait sans retouche de la moquelle j'appartiens. Qu'en t'y aura, pronte en saie bras, aimer parla, tuba, japon, holland, japon. Il était beau pour le intro part de ça. Il était, je suis pas un singeur train. It was beautiful for the intro part of it. It was, I'm not a trained singer.
Starting point is 00:34:26 No, it sounded amazing. And then suddenly, like, what happened when the chorus came? I'm not a trained singer, I'm not really sure. It all sounded the same to me. But I don't have an ear for music. I don't have perfect pitch. It sounded like range to me. Like, you've got, oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:34:40 I've got no range. No, my music to you, you're like, Bruce Hornsby when he went solo. Apps. Oh my God. The amount of times I've got no range. No, my music keeps on. You're like, Bruce Hornsby when he went solo. Apps. Oh my God. The amount of times I've gotten in bar fights because people are like, Hey, motherfucker, you sound like Bruce Horns
Starting point is 00:34:51 when he went solo and I'm like, that's it. I'm gonna cut you up. So if you have no ear for music, why are you doing this? Just it's a money making an opportunity? Absolutely. I'm an entrepreneur at the end of the day.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Yeah, like anybody else. Yeah. Here's my Venmo code. I'll scan it. Uh, all right. Here we go. There we go. All right. Now I'm going to request some cash for my wife. You, we just I just serenaded you. I didn't. I mean, I guess I did ask for it. But you offered you're asking for it all the time, my friend. Look at that outfit. Bare feet in the studio. You're asking for it all the time my friend look at that outfit bare feet in the studio Hey, this is my home. Oh, still okay. I can have bare feet in my own home I'm not saying you only have to ask for it out in public. Clearly you're asking for it at home as well
Starting point is 00:35:35 Nope, I get it home. Okay You're making I got a joker smile look at it Right here. I'm not going to participate. My friend is looking exfoliated and hydrated down there. Hey, my eyes are above my feet. Okay, someone. You got to find them, but they're up a little bit. Okay, I'm going up the body. I haven't seen them yet. They're usually towards the top. That's a feast for the senses, the sense of sight. Oh, there they are. Wow, beautiful.
Starting point is 00:36:07 That's a book you so long he climb up his body. He's like six, too. Yeah, you're really resting on the midsection there for a long time. I thought I'd see the eyes. There are a few things down there that look like the eyes, but it turns out it's just buttons and belts. And bulges, of course. Ah, yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:36:24 The eyes, the crotch of the face. For a minute, I bet you thought that one of my eyes was popping out like cartoon, but no, that was just my boner. I have well, like, record the show. Yep, you're your single eye-shaped boner. Single cartoon pop-ite. You got an early, early mat braining looking, my boner down there. How would I describe my boner? Oh, well, 1987 Matt Braining eyes.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Well, this sounds great. So you, I mean, how much business have you received? Pretty good business, you know. All you gotta do is you're like, you post a couple things on Craigslist. Local Craigslist is really active for us. There's a lot of people that have not abandoned it. Really?
Starting point is 00:37:04 Okay. There were a lot of people that have not abandoned it really, but there are a lot of sex workers there Sure, okay, do people expect that from you when you come and pick them up? Are they like maybe I mean that explains some of the comments that I've got but I don't discriminate you discriminate what people who want sex workers Oh sure, but no, but so when you say you don't discriminate if they want sex from you You just give it give it to them. Oh, I don't discriminate that that's what they think I offer. And I say, no, I was gonna say, you're definition of not discriminating. Oh, very different.
Starting point is 00:37:32 They come expecting you to sex worker, you don't discriminate, so you do it. No, no, no, I'm not discriminating. You're intimating that I, I'm not intimating anything. I'm just merely asking you questions, Randall. Okay, well, my answer to that question is I say, no, thank you, I'm not intramaining anything. I'm just merely asking questions. Okay. Well, my answer to that question is I say, No, thank you. I'm not looking for that. Would you like to listen to some karaoke that do so?
Starting point is 00:37:49 And then usually they're like when they say and then do they say when you say do some? What do you mean? They do say that? They do say that. Yeah, absolutely. And then I'm like, uh, what do you think I mean? wink wink and then they're like, why did you just say say wink wink because that's what I say when they say that okay Yeah, but I'm I'm imagining them saying why did you just say wink wink? Oh, yeah, that's exactly what they say And then I say I'm just I'm winking at you you must know what I mean that's the thing I winks have gotten a bad rap haven't they because anytime you like you wink at someone it's suggestive supposedly It's like no, it's just fun to do. You know, go do it to your friends every once in a while.
Starting point is 00:38:27 You wink at me right now. Okay, it's fun. Those toes are twinkling as much as your eyes. See, now you're turning it into a weird thing. I was winking at you. Why is it weird? Like a friend. Okay, the foot is the part of the body.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Yeah, I can't argue with that. There we go. You got me there. I'm not being weird by looking at your bare feet in studio. You're parading around and showing us right now. I'm not prancing, I'm not parading. For those of you listening at home or at work, or wherever the hell you are,
Starting point is 00:38:55 Scott's got his feet up on the table. He's twinkling his toes at us. I'm doing sort of a wink with my toes. That's absolutely. So this sounds great. I mean, what does Chris have to think about all this? I mean, she's against anything that gives me a sense of independence.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Yeah. So at first, she was not happy about it. And then, you know, I took home a little bit of cash and I took her out to eat Taco Bell, Ketina. Oh, that's a fancy Taco Bell. I love that. Yep. That way, you don't have to sneak booze into the Taco Bell.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Right. Yes, because they serve it or I haven't been in one. Yeah. It's like Starbucks Reserve. Oh yeah, yeah. I should do Comedy Bang Bang Reserve or something like that, where it's like a better version of this show.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Oh, Comedy Bang Bang after Dark. Oh yeah. We always do a thing. We can have a matte-growning bone and bone or whatever you want. Yeah, exactly. Like Peach Pet after Dark, but it's Comedy Bang Bang.
Starting point is 00:39:44 I always, I used to love that because Peach Pet was just the squares business in the world. It was a 50s diner and then it turned into the hottest club in Beverly Hills. In the back. Yeah. And by the way, it was, who used to run in Nate? Was that his name?
Starting point is 00:39:58 I don't remember. I'll see. Whoever the owner was, he was like, oh, I got this, oh, I got this space in the back. It's like a gorgeous club. Yeah, I mean, what's it feel like? It never really hills. And he just had like, diner supplies back there.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Yeah. And then they cleaned them out and it turned into the hottest club in Beverly Hills. And by the way, where are these 50s diners in Beverly Hills? I don't think they've ever seen one. They got run out of business. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:21 Aaron Spelling pulled the plug. Yeah. Seasons assist. Seasaw and Des. Yeah. Season to assist. C-so and to Sisto. You big fan of C-so. I used to be. Still got the app on my Apple TV. Oh really? Yeah, it'll kick back to a life someday. And guess what? It'll have technical difficulties. That's right. Well this is this is great Randy. I you made some money. Yep, I made some cash. It's a cash-only business. So if you wanna ride my limo, just bring some cash,
Starting point is 00:40:48 bring some ideas for karaoke songs that you wanna sing. Ideas. Well, what about just like names of them? Of songs? Yeah. I'm idea. You're splitting. You're splitting hairs right now.
Starting point is 00:41:00 I just find it funny of like someone coming and going, I'm so a few ideas. I'm gonna spend balls. Yeah. Like maybe something with like music in it. Maybe something in Fort Fort time. Yeah, I'd be like, you're on the right track. Keep going.
Starting point is 00:41:14 Give me the title of a song and I'll plug it in. There we go. You know, bangers only. I'm not sure. You're a bangers only business. A bangers only business. You're a B.O.B. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Cause I couldn't, you know, I haven't been able to afford like entire catalogs. Right. So I'm just, you're not on the internet on YouTube because you might try that except, but I was doing it here at the house and you got to play an ad before every song. Oh, right. Yeah. No, I don't want to do that. No, I don't want it.
Starting point is 00:41:38 That would weigh people down when they're trying to make their decisions. So do you have CDs or are they downloaded? Yeah, you need to CDs nuts. For Andy's nuts. They're not odd cassettes. Yeah, we have CDs so it's bangers only. And you know, it's I mean, it's pretty good. People are people are pretty pretty. How many CDs do you have? Probably like 14 CDs. Okay, this is not a lot of songs.
Starting point is 00:41:58 Five maybe five 15 songs on a CD. Yep. Yeah. Well, violent fam's greatest hits. That's like 21 songs. There's a whole karaoke CD for violent hip-fims greatest Yeah. Well, Violent Femmes greatest hits, that's like 21 songs. There's a whole karaoke CD for Violent Femmes greatest hits. Well, it's not the karaoke CDs. No, it's actually just the greatest hit CD and I turn it down every time the lyrics pop up. Like a DJ at a club. Like a DJ at a club.
Starting point is 00:42:19 That's what he wants them to sing. Yeah. So it's like, you know what? Okay. I mean, that counts, I would sing along with it. Yeah, absolutely. You've seen like a Viol a violent femme's head. Sure, why not?
Starting point is 00:42:27 Cool. Milwaukee's own in a battle to the death who would win. Violent Femmes or the Bodines? Well, the violent Femmes, I mean, it's all about the branding, you know, I'd be scared to go up against the violent Femmes until I met him, you know, but the Bodines is like, I don't know, they're probably crystal fascists now.
Starting point is 00:42:44 Well, this is great, Randy. I really respect your hustle, your get up and go. Thanks, ain't no bustle without the hustle. Good point. But how long do you think this is going to last? Probably a few months, like most of my other endeavors. They don't either get bored or sick of it or I'll get fired from my own job.
Starting point is 00:43:06 How many, how does that happen? How do you get fired from your own like thing? I mean, have you ever fired yourself? Absolutely. You just get to fight with a boss, a verbal altercation. You know, I eat enough CBD, I'm bound to start talking to myself. If I say something to myself, I'm bound to disagree.
Starting point is 00:43:21 You're eating so much CBD that it's having a psychoactive effect on you. I mean, you've been eating from like, I mean, it's just goop essentially. It's like, it looks like a massage oil or something like that, but you've just been chugging right now? Really sticky stuff.
Starting point is 00:43:36 I melt down all the CBD gems that I can find. You know, cause most of them don't have more than 0.3% of THC legally. Right, so you got to melt them down and separate the THC from the actual gym part of it. You got to separate it chemically. Yeah. You got to keep it separated. Yeah. Yeah. Why when I said chemically, I was quoting brain candy by kids in the hall. Oh, you were. Oh, interesting. I didn't realize you were a KITH fan. Well, I am a KITH B-C fan. Well, before what? Brain candy.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Brain candy. Oh, that's the only thing you know. That's the only thing you know. Everything that did. Pre-J-Jesus Christ. Pre-J-Jesus Christ. Well, Randy, this is fantastic. Can you stick around because we have a great guest coming up
Starting point is 00:44:18 and I would love for you to stick around and I'll stick around for the podcast and I'll stick around afterwards. Oh, for what? Oh, just ask you advice on how to get your feet so clean and hydrated. I mean, when you say hydrated, I mean, they're not wet or anything.
Starting point is 00:44:31 Yeah, but they're not flaking. Okay. Feet in your life tend to flake. In my life? Have you seen my friends? Stu and Amber, yeah, I met them once. Yeah, we finally give me your phone number. I'll send you pictures of my friends feet after this.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Ah, I don't think I don't want to do that. But Randy Snuts is here. His podcast, Hey Randy is out there on CBB World. We also have Vera Drew, the people's Joker. And coming up, we have someone with an exciting opportunity. So this is, I mean, do you think we'll be excited for them or? Absolutely. Yeah. We'll share in the excitement.
Starting point is 00:45:06 That'll be incredible. Let's do it. Let's bring it on. I can't wait to get this ad break. Because then we'll be beyond the ad break. That will be beyond the ad break. Yeah. All right, so let's do it.
Starting point is 00:45:16 We're going to all sit here in anticipation of the person's exciting opportunity. We'll have more Vera Drew, we'll have more Randy Snuts. We'll be right back with more comedy bandgay after this. Tumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumumum at some point where all of the America and the world can see it. Yeah, I'm hoping. Yeah, I mean, I really do want people to see it in a theater because I worked really hard on it. And also you want that Nicole Kidman thing to play in front of it because you were so into her in Batman Forever.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Oh, that would be just, do you have the same kind of thing when you see her going, you know, talking about AMC movies and all that kind of stuff? I, you know, I actually really am, you know, when those ads started, they did kind of give me some like warm nostalgia pings, but I feel like the like ironic, it's warm-chation.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Now it's kind of a little bit. Yeah, everyone enjoyed it ironically. To the point where like three weeks ago I was there and people were applauding, and then in that three weeks, now people are not applauding for it anymore. Like everyone's over it again. Yeah, we might see like another cycle of that.
Starting point is 00:46:32 But yeah, but that would be cool to see a play before your movie. Yeah, no, it would be great, especially since we do have a fully CG version of her in my case. Oh, really? Cool. And have kind of a, here's what she looks. What was her name in that movie? Dr. Chase Meridian.
Starting point is 00:46:53 She's a psychologist, fascinated with bats. Because that's what psychologists do. Is they grow fascinated with someone in the animal kingdom? We also have Randy Snuts here. You a fan of Batman? Absolutely. I love Batman. All the works. I just remembered the other day that Burgess Meredith is the first penguin.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Yeah. That's that blue mind. What reminded you of that? What made you? Were you watching Twilight Zone episodes and suddenly he went, we're out. I was scrolling Twitter and Burgess Meredith was trending. Well, this is weird. He's been dead since 97. What's going on? I was scrolling Twitter and Burgess Meredith was trending. This is weird.
Starting point is 00:47:26 He's been dead since 97. What's going on? What was going on? What did you find out? I have no idea. It was just a new algorithm suck so much. It was burping out Burgess Meredith. And I was like, oh, and then I saw him with Caesar Romero.
Starting point is 00:47:38 I'm like, oh my God, that's right. He was a penguin. Amazing at it. I grew up watching the first one. I mean, I like him all, but you're right. It's gotten too dark too dark Let's let's go let's go back pre-Nolan to a Batman having fun. How about Batman in a in God's Bell. Yeah That could be good right as Jesus or is John the Baptist or
Starting point is 00:47:58 I guess I guess you'd be John the Baptist. Yeah, prepare you the way of the Lord I guess he'd be John the Baptist. Yeah, prepare you the way of the Lord. Yep, that's something you could bring into the karaoke bus. That's right. I sang that in high school. I was, uh, I played that role in high school and, uh, I came from the back of the theater and I walked down the steps toward the stage barefoot. I tried. And then, uh, apparently the choreographer who was a former student who was maybe a couple years
Starting point is 00:48:28 out of high school who came back to help out with choreography. She, I was not there for one rehearsal and she made fun of the way I walked. It didn't impression it. It's scarred me for life. Oh, she's. Wow. Wow, scared the shoes right off you. That's great.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Well, yeah, you should absolutely sing that. I'd be honored if you sang that. I would love that. Let's set that up at some point. How do I get a hold of you? Do I call you? You can leave a voicemail on my voicemail. We're always taking voicemails.
Starting point is 00:48:54 We love our callers, 7, 7, 9, 3, 7, 9. Wait, this is the voicemail from your program? To book your Uber, I have to call and you sift through those. Yeah, I sift through those. And hopefully, you just give me an address and I pick you up. But it's 777-9379. He doesn't seem like the most expedient. Let me get through the number.
Starting point is 00:49:10 I'm trying to promote a show on your Patreon. Okay. Our Patreon. But go ahead. 777-9379-2679. I'm just saying it doesn't seem like the most expedient way to book your services. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Because so many people are calling for your podcast. Well, you can text it as well. Okay. We take texts. You take texts? So you sift through those to find out who wants to book your Uber for a karaoke? Yup, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:49:40 Okay, all right. We'll see. Give it a call. Maybe some people, you might get some business after this comes out. I hope we get voice bails pertaining to the podcast, but I get business too. Sure.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Okay, great. Well, speaking of business, we have someone who has an exciting opportunity coming up and he's been on this show once before. Please welcome back to the show, Joey Salsa. Thanks for having me. Don't expect me to top that intro. That was fantastic. I don't expect anyone to top that intro. That was fantastic.
Starting point is 00:50:05 I don't expect anyone to top any intro. I mean, I don't even think that intro was all that good. You were on once before. He gave my name, he said the information I'd been here once before, that's true. And I gotta say, as a frequent listener this time and the one other time I've been on here, best be block, I've heard, best A block.
Starting point is 00:50:20 So wait, you listen to the one episode you were on before. Yeah, you make a sit here before we talk, I don't know if people know that. So I mean, where else are you going to be? I could be running errands. What kind of errands would you run instead of be here? You can give me an estimate of what time I needed to be here and I could walk in.
Starting point is 00:50:34 But no, it was fantastic. I learned I learned the phrase dink, never heard that before. Vera called you a fancy boy in A block. I like that. You kind of just let it roll right off you. We name it. I didn't take offense of that. No, no, no, tone complimentary. Right. Yeah. It's based on his feet. How could he not be afraid?
Starting point is 00:50:51 We named a look at your your boner. It was it was all fantastic. There was also some musical stuff in there And and that is my wheelhouse. I am that's right. You're a composer. Is that right? Yeah I like to write musicals that my hope is that their musicals don't exist. Last time I got burned a little bit by that. Yeah, last time you came on, I guess you were doing, you got deep into the role of you were writing a musical about Alexander Hamilton,
Starting point is 00:51:13 and you got very deep into the process where you weren't even looking at phones, and you didn't realize that a very popular musical had already come out. Yeah, I was living like Alexander Hamilton at the time. My musical was called Alexander the Great, not the one you're thinking about Hamilton. And then I started presenting it
Starting point is 00:51:30 and you said that a lot of my songs were very similar to the song. It was very weird because musically they were a note for note. And that could be my steps on rights most of my music. And he turns these tunes around real quick. Oh, okay. And he wasn't doing the whole process of not. I'm writing the lyrics and then I give these lyrics and he's like doing the whole process of not. I'm writing the lyrics, and then I give these lyrics,
Starting point is 00:51:46 and he just comes, and he's like, I got the track. And I'm like, wow. It sounds to me like he's not a writer, he's a guy who bought an instrumental CD of the latest Hamilton. Like, I honestly could be. I tried to, I went home, I tried to talk to him, locked himself in the room for weeks,
Starting point is 00:51:58 didn't let me get a word in a choice. But anyway, I realized my mistake was that I'm not Alexander Hamilton. So if I'm writing about, Hold on, your mistake in writing my mistake was that I'm not Alexander Hamilton. So if I'm writing about some on your mistake in writing this musical, is that you're not Alexander Hamilton? Well, yes, because what do they always tell you in writing, if you're a cannot me here,
Starting point is 00:52:12 write what you know. Write what you know. I would have made the same mistake. Right, yeah, so I'm writing about, I was trying to write about things that people might not know about, but then I was like, no one knows about me. Why don't I start writing about myself
Starting point is 00:52:22 then it can't be anything that's ever been done before. Okay, well great, this is actually my life. Every human being has a unique perspective upon this world. So, the sounds good. So you've written a musical about your own? Yes, so I was trying to think, what's my best time of my life? When did I really get happy?
Starting point is 00:52:39 And I was thinking it was mostly when, for a little while, I would go to small town to small town and I would try to... Why the small town? Well, because I'm a big town. Well, after I finished while, I would go to small town to small town, and I would try to... Why the small town? Well, because I was big town. Well, after I finished my sentence, you'll figure out how to make it. Because I was trying to scam these people
Starting point is 00:52:51 into thinking that I was a music guy, and that I would, I'd get all the kids to buy instruments, and then they'd give me all the money, and then I would leave town. And so if it's a big town... This is something you used to do. I used to go from town to town as a musical instrument salesman. Loved it, yes. And they would give's a big town, this is something you used to do. I used to go from town to town as a musical instrument salesman.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Loved it. Yes. And they would give you half the money or how much would you take? Would you take all of it? I said much like, yeah, yeah, say, hey, come on, don't worry, I know the guy. I know the guy. Let me place the order. So they would place the order for these instruments.
Starting point is 00:53:16 You would skip town before the instruments. So it was, it was amazing. And so then I said, well, let me write a couple of songs about that, you know? I mean, it's a very interesting life. Do you have a song? I don't want. I actually have a few of songs about that. You know? I mean, it's a very interesting life. Do you have a song? I don't want. I actually have a few, but why don't we start with the first one?
Starting point is 00:53:29 Okay. So this is based on your life as a traveling salesman or as a traveling con man. Correct. All right. 76. Trumboan. Let the big parade. That is way too many trumboan.
Starting point is 00:53:43 There's only 82 kids that are even in the first one. This trombone let the big parade That is way too many trombones There's only 82 kids that are even in the fence Why did everybody pick the flag trombone? Here's my theory why it happened Randy Johnson picked first And he's a cool kid so everyone did what he did But now I got so many trombones And I got no flutes or drums And two kids carrying the front of like they die
Starting point is 00:54:08 So now it's mostly trombones and the song doesn't have trombones and what are you gonna do with all the trombones and everything and if you got it Hold on hold on Okay Let me Joey Salson. Yeah, first off I Okay. Joey's also. Yeah. First off, I have to say, when you mentioned the premise of this, you know, the execution can differ. Everyone can have the same idea.
Starting point is 00:54:36 There's a lot of parallel thinking in arts, you know? All of the discovery. Yeah, I'm a getting and deep impact. Exactly. But the execution you hope is a little different. And yours is a little different. Great, not maybe not different enough. I do have to say that the song 76 trombones
Starting point is 00:54:53 exists in a musical with the exact same premise as your life called the music man. Oh, okay, well mine's called the instrument guy. So it's different in that way. Okay. It is the song all about how there's too many, 76 is way too many trombones. No, it's it's different than that. Okay. It is the song all about how there's too many, 76 is way too many trombones. No, it's the perfect amount in that.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Whoa. They love the fact that there's 76 trombones. In a small town? I know. Yeah, it doesn't make, I mean, you make more sense. Wait, yeah, okay. I guess the thing that doesn't make as much sense is, why do you care how many trombones there are
Starting point is 00:55:20 because you're not even, well, that's the one, that's the one town that I stayed in. So I actually did, actually, again, that's kind one talent that I stayed in. So I actually did. Again, that's kind of more of an ending song, but I want to start strong. That's how the musical ends. Well, I don't exactly remember, but it's pretty close to the end.
Starting point is 00:55:33 It's pretty close to the end, yeah. And so it's like, and so that's me actually leading, and I lead the band through it, but then it's just. That's when they get their instruments, you stay there and then you're going to the trombone. Yeah. After trombone, after trombone. Yeah. How many trombones is's when they get their instruments, you say there, and then you're born after Trump, you're born after Trump, and after Trump, and then, yeah. How many Trump owns is too many Trump owns? Would you say it over four?
Starting point is 00:55:50 Yeah. Wait, so, but you had 72 more Trump owns to sell to this small town. Your inventory must have been pretty big. Yeah, no, well, because I just do it on Amazon. Right. So once they tell you, are you a prime member? Yeah, yeah, joined. I do it.
Starting point is 00:56:04 I get so expensive. Yeah, just to watch the show. So the title makes sense, you're a third party prime member? Yeah, yeah, I joined. I do get so expensive. Yeah, just to watch the show. So the title makes sense. You're a third party instrument guy. Right, yeah, exactly. And so, and again, did you consider calling it third party instrument guy instead of just the instrument guy? I'm open to that.
Starting point is 00:56:16 I was trying to go, I thought last time I made them stick with too many words in my title. So I was trying to go. What was it the last time the Hamilton? Alexander the great, the one you're thinking of Hamilton. Right. And so this time I thought I'd just keep it compact. I mean, it definitely tells you what you're in for.
Starting point is 00:56:28 The third party instrument guy. I mean, you know, he's not a guy who's like, out there making the instruments. Right. Yes. Absolutely. He's not a guy who carries them around. We know, no, no. I sometimes do this on my hands, which I know isn't great for podcasts.
Starting point is 00:56:38 By the way, yeah, for podcasts, he's like sort of conducting an imaginary orchestra. Conducting, like tar. Yeah, exactly. Lydia, or should I say Linda? You think tarfin? Yeah, I watch it on an airplane. You a tar heel?
Starting point is 00:56:51 I'm absolutely a tar heel. I'm one of Dean Smith's boys. I love the movie tar. Rest in power, Dean Smith, anyway. Yeah, of course. Well, that's, I think it's a little too close. It sounds like the same, is your step son? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:08 Your composer still? Because it also sounds exactly like the music from a movie. Yeah, it sounds like he just got an instrumental track from. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, maybe the instrumental track so that Randy here plays on is, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Maybe you could hook up with his, yeah, I'm also not a music guy. This is just, this is all tempo audio. I think he's wondering, I'm not, I don't, this is tempo. I don't think I need to be the star of this. I'd love to borrow those, right? Even I'd even reward you handsomely for it, because like I said, I mean, almost none of my tracks
Starting point is 00:57:32 are instrumental. Yeah. Oh fantastic, yeah, that's almost no. That's like, yeah, I'm here just to make money and stuff. So if we want to set something up, that'd be awesome. Right. Well, here's some cash in my pocket. Oh heck, yeah, thank you.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Yeah, I'm gonna see you. I'm gonna see you just give him Randy. Three dollars, I don't know, that's not. But for. Well, here's some cash in my pocket. Oh heck, yeah. Thank you. I'm gonna see you. This is just getting me ready. $3. I don't know, that's enough. But for one song, I got some more. So maybe by the end of the song, I'll have like $15. Okay, well you have five songs.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Okay. Yeah. Let's get to the second one. Well, yeah, so okay, so there was this one town where this kid, he was a real wiener here for kid, you know? But I was trying to sleep with his mom. And so I'd hang out with him and he'd always- Did you ever get there?
Starting point is 00:58:04 I think it may be at the end of the musical, I'll grab her but a little bit wink so you think that it might happen. Now is that a wink like a suggestive wink or is that a wink between friends? Good point. That one actually was suggested, but my shoes will be on so it'll be confusing. Oh, the audience. So this next one, he would always sing about how much he loved his town. And so this would be this is this and this one, musicals I've realized are long. They take forever. And so this would be, and this one, musicals I've realized are long, they take forever. And so this song, to ride or to watch.
Starting point is 00:58:27 I mean, to both of them, really. They want them to be like, you know, a couple hours because they want an intermission, they want to sell drinks. So I had to get, I saw six the other night, it was 90 minutes, no intermission. Well, there you go. I felt a little cheated. And that's my point. And that is exactly my point.
Starting point is 00:58:40 So this song, it's about, it's like six implies it's going to be six hours. Oh, okay, yeah, that makes sense. I was thinking, it's the number of performers. I was thinking six songs. It's like it could have been either. I thought it'd be the hours number of performers. The women from Blossom. Well, while we're doing topical,
Starting point is 00:58:54 Beverly Hills, I don't know, two one else stuff. Let's dip into a Blossom reference. Four six. Oh, four six. She was an icon and we didn't recognize it. Hats. She started hats from what I remember.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Yeah, she did. She was the first person on TV to wear it. Hats, she started hats from what I remember. Yeah, she did. She was the first person on TV to wear hats. Yeah. No one was allowed to. It was like, remember the I love Lucy where they couldn't even go to the bathroom or mention she was pregnant. That's right. And then like, no one was allowed to wear hats until blossom.
Starting point is 00:59:16 And then suddenly like everyone's wearing it, people don't remember it. First toilet was on leave it to be there. That's what Joey said when he saw six his hat. Yeah. You can't's hat. Yeah. Yeah. That was his catchphrase. That's catchphrase. You can't wear that. So you have another song. And this song I'm going to have be really long. I'm thinking like maybe a 45 minute song for five minutes. Oh, just to pat out. Kill up some time. Yeah. Yeah. This is number two. Yeah. Number two. Yeah, all right. Here we go. This is from
Starting point is 00:59:48 Instrument third party instrument Gary Indian a Gary Indian a not Louisiana Paris France New York Oh, so not Bufalo, but Phoenix on Seattle on New Zealand, Omitred, or all the cities here are some Minneapolis, England, they land there is, and another city that I'll tell you, but it's not that it's all right, I gotta stop you here. So your plan is to do a 45-minute song where you just name places that are not Gary, Indiana, even though you've named Gary, Indiana at the very top of the song. Don't tell me that happens in the other one.
Starting point is 01:00:28 There is a song called Gary, Indiana in the other one. But it's a point of pride about the little child is very proud to be from Gary, Indiana and sings about its qualities, not just what it is not. Oh, okay. Oh. is not. Oh, okay. Oh, this does sound like an interesting like nihilistic kind of depressing version of the music. Yeah, depressing, boring. Okay, yeah, I did. I mean, those are qualities that I think I connect to. Yeah. Really flips it on its head, though. When it's just not these other cities, you're like, dang, there's a lot of cities that are not like Gary, Indiana.
Starting point is 01:01:05 Yeah, I would probably around like the, you set that song was 45 minutes long. Yeah, probably around like minute 30, I'd say Gary, Indiana, get and be like, whoops. Oh, right. No, it is Gary, Indiana. Yeah, sorry, everyone.
Starting point is 01:01:17 Then go back to other cities. Or put a reminder in there. Oh, yeah, that's good. I guess a reminder it, I am in Gary, Indiana, not and then go back into the knots again. Absolutely. I mean, to be fair, I guess I didn't realize how many cities there were. I am in Gary, Indiana, not, and then go back into the knots again. Absolutely. I mean, to be fair, I guess I didn't realize how many cities there were.
Starting point is 01:01:28 I thought there were maybe 20, but it seems like there's a lot. Yeah, and even in my thing, he'd list some countries too. Oh, okay. Like which? Well, Zimbabwe, not the Paris, France, New York. That's not a country.
Starting point is 01:01:40 France, France, Paris, France. You got one. Paris, France. And then Louisiana is a state, which, so it's not just cities, I'm opening it up, France. You got one. Paris, France. And then Louisiana is a state, which, so it's not just cities. I'm opening it up, I guess. Oh, okay, got it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:50 All right. You have a third song? Yeah, okay, so this one, this one I think women should learn from men about when to kiss. So I wrote this song. See, this is not part of the play. No, no, no, no. The song you wrote about what you think women should do. This is part of the play.
Starting point is 01:02:04 It's my friend. He's my sidekick and he thinks about think women should be part of the play. It's my it's my friend He's my sidekick and any he's things about when women should kiss. Okay Now woman who kiss on the very first date is usually a hussey and a woman who kiss on the second time route is Anything but pussy but a woman who waits till the third time round. Head in the clouds, feet on the ground. Geez, the girl you glad you found. She's your Shippupi, Shippupi, Shippupi, Shippupi. That girl is not a whore. Shippupi, Shippupi. All right.
Starting point is 01:02:34 It was exactly the same until the chorus. No way, there's no way that a musical about a music man has a character just singing when women should kiss on day. No, no, there's no way that a musical about a music man has a character just singing when when women should kiss on date. No, no, there is. Your interest in the original writer Meredith Wilson I believe is interest really a line. Wow. Incredibly, but the only difference was the original courses, Shippupi Shippupi, the girl
Starting point is 01:02:58 is hard to get. Not the girl is. Well modernized I guess. Yeah. Two modern. Yeah. So it's the song choice, the melody itself, your steps on is fucking you. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:10 Cause if it were a different melody, then, you know, we would probably be unrecognized. Did he give you the melodies first and you write the lyrics to it? No, I write the songs. I write the songs. And then it just, he gives me the song and, and the tracks they match up perfectly. I thought it was like Elton John and his writing partner. Perney's happened. Right. Yeah. But much like... You know what you're gonna be a songwriter, you should like learn the names of other songwriters.
Starting point is 01:03:33 Well, much like me and my stepson, I don't want anyone to think of my stepson. What's his name? That's not even get into that. That's not get into it. No, because then all of a sudden, I was like, oh, he's getting these songs from. This guy's a genius, all of a sudden, you know, but then El's he getting these songs from this guy's a genius all of a sudden You know, but then out in John me Joey salsa is what it's all about See here they own John. Yeah, it's still gonna be about you. Okay. We're not trying to give your steps on credit I'm trying to give him criticism. Oh, okay. Okay. Then his name's Doug. Oh
Starting point is 01:03:58 Doug is also I know I wish he Want it you want him to take your name. Yeah, I'd like to. Nothing else has my name except for, of course, the stuff he dip in. Right, yeah, that's the one, the one thing that shares the dance. And the dance. Yeah, okay, I feel better about it now. Yeah. But what would it give you if he chucked your last name?
Starting point is 01:04:17 I guess I, feeling a power much like, ping on ice. Yeah, it feels like I'd maybe, feels if my life might be worth, you know, I've created something, I left something behind, not just a failure at every attempt I try to create art and I'm failing again again. This is only your second appearance. Right, well, yeah. You'll fail many more times. Oh, fantastic.
Starting point is 01:04:37 All right, great. You have another song? I do, well, so, okay, that's, that's what wasn't going well, obviously I can tell. So I will, let me just adjust completely, this is a different time in my life. I was kind of a complicated story. I was learned music by a nun who came to live with us
Starting point is 01:04:54 and have sex with my dad. And she would teach us kind of like some. She came there expressly to have sex with your dad. Yeah, I guess the nunnery was like being really mean to her and like telling her they would write songs about how she, you know, I don't know, was a weirdo something and such. She came here and then they were like I think they were actually trying to do it in a weird way. I think they were winking this is a different musical Or this is part of the same thing. Oh, no, this third party instrument. Yeah. Yeah, this I'm this is a different one
Starting point is 01:05:15 I'm a just this one isn't fully finished, but I do have this song. So you came here prepared with two musicals Well, yeah, and then I do if I need to adjust again, I can't adjust to go musicals. Well yeah and then I do if I need to adjust again I can adjust to go. Okay. Okay. So so what's this song about? Well this one's about this is like kind of me learning about how to sing. Basically. So this is the song she would teach me and then I would also this is like like my as a child this is me learning with my siblings and stuff so we're all we're all singing. All right. This. So a dear, a female dear, Ray, a drop of golden sun, me, a man looking for Russia poopy, and girls, they always kiss too soon. So I tell them they're a slut, or I'll tell them they're a whore.
Starting point is 01:06:04 I can't bring you to meet my mom. It's the third date when you kiss duh duh duh duh. You slut. You're all right. I have to stop. Okay. I don't like that kind of talk. Okay. There. On on on this program or any other. But dear. No, no. I'm very bring animals over this. The shaming of that kind of language is not it's not for pleasant conversation. It's somebody hurt you or yeah. Good great question. No, that was actually what I was trying to do on that one was I was going to show you as a child and then how I how I how I change like that's let's me as a child thinking. Those are child. But what happened to you personally to to give you this sense that women should kiss on the third date, and if they don't,
Starting point is 01:06:47 they need to be denigrated like that? Well, I think that's just the perfect time to kiss. Based on what? You have a wife because you have steps. Right. Well, I guess maybe here's what we're not, and it's like, I'm a man, and I think that I know what's best for women.
Starting point is 01:07:00 Is that, am I not getting that a question? No, that's a common question. It's that part of it, yeah, it's very clear. Well, maybe it's my dad used to whistle. He used to have a whistle and we'd all line up and then... Line up to do what? To just be inspected. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 01:07:12 That you meant to take turns on the whistle. No, we never get to do it. There's a lot of patterns here. A wish we could whistle. I wish we could whistle. But okay, I'll just do one more because I think I'm not... Maybe I'm not broke. You brought two more tracks.
Starting point is 01:07:23 Okay, well... You're just gonna do well. Well, I'll do one and then you can decide. We'll call the audible. All right, what's this next one? So this is now this is to show you how I've grown as a human. This is I much later in my life.
Starting point is 01:07:35 I was living in New York City and I was at the ever I lived in this place of the first of the month, the guy who on the building always wanted me to pay money and I hated to do that. Yeah, I hated giving him money. I hate to give him money. I just started the track. And so this is the song just about I hated giving this guy money at the first of the month. And so you got to understand this is me in New York City with all my friends. No, I understand. All of this. Yeah, it seems like you're failing. 525,600 minutes. 525,000 moments so dear
Starting point is 01:08:09 525,600 minutes That is too long to wait to be my show poopy Is that third day? Is that third day? I can't make this clear. I can't stop you before you go. Before you go. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:08:28 Oh, no, I don't say any of that. I don't say any of that. Oh, no, it's good stop. Yeah, it was a good stop. I think. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Why are you dead? Didn't Denny great women in that one?
Starting point is 01:08:36 Well, no, because this time they waited too long, I think. They waited a full year. And I think that is, I think we can all agree. If you were, what if the dates only come like one every four months? Oh, then it would be the third date, but you could be a full calendar year. That's perfect. I gotta add a second.
Starting point is 01:08:51 I gotta add a second. You gotta add a second. That's the first. That's from a different musical already. All of these are from a different one. Yeah, no, no, no, no. This is from a different one that also exists, named, by the name of rent.
Starting point is 01:09:02 Oh, dog fucked you again, man. Yeah. What does your wife say about all this? Because you're like, you're actually like, So it exists, by the name of rent. Dog fucked you again, man. What does your wife say about all this? Because you're actually like, you're being deceived by your stepson. What's your wife's name? Well, would you believe it if I actually don't have a shoe poopy?
Starting point is 01:09:17 What? What? You have a stepson without a shoe poopy? Yeah, I, yeah. What happened to the shoe poopy? Well, I started talking about some of my beliefs about other people. You know, she'd introduced me to her friends today. Have you met Carolyn Brand and they started dating? And then I found out that sometimes they would get kiss on the first date.
Starting point is 01:09:35 And I'd be just horrific to them the entire time they were over. And so she eventually, yeah, she eventually, she left, she left. But she also left. Yeah, you got full custody of the game system. The game system set up in his room. He was just used to that. So he didn't want to see, you know, you know, kids, these days, they're always playing the games. They love their gaming. What gaming system is he onto? I think a twitch switch. He's playing, he's playing, he's playing a switch on Twitch. Yeah, he watches, he's watching, he's watching, switch on Twitch.
Starting point is 01:10:04 Yeah, he just watches it. Yeah, he's not even's watching Switch on Twitch. Yeah, he just watches it. Yeah, he's not even... So when you say the game, he's going to... It's a TV. Yeah, he could go anywhere. He puts it in CPU mode and demo mode and he watches it on Twitch. That's right. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:15 Gotta get Doug in here. Sounds like an interesting game. Yeah, Doug, Doug's also... Okay, yeah. Or Doug whatever his name is. Yeah, I would love to talk to him at some point. Sure, because honestly, these songs have been a bust. Okay.
Starting point is 01:10:26 That I, you know, if truly this is parallel thinking, right, I have to say it's really impressive that you keep hitting on these things that are very, very popular with minor slight alterations, but I'll take, I heard a couple positive words in there, so I'm willing to take those. Yeah, minor slight. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:43 I would love to hear a song that's just about how you, the positive things about kissing on the third date. Yeah, what do you like about kissing on the third date? Oh. What feels good about it? Is it the anticipation, the buildup? I've had two dates that went well. We know each other now.
Starting point is 01:10:56 We're not kissing just the kiss we actually want to. If we waited for the fourth date, of course, then there'd be too much pressure on that fourth date. Right. It's like, well, we haven't kissed, and we've been friends over a year. And a full year, I mean, don't even get me started. Of course, it there'd be too much pressure on that fourth date. Right. Because then it's like, well, we haven't kissed. Are we friends over in that? At a full year. I mean, don't even get me started.
Starting point is 01:11:06 Of course, it cut asterisk. It can less it's once every four months like you busted me on. But otherwise, yeah, once I was looking for that technicality. Yeah. Sorry. The loophole. I do have one final song. It's about, do you know?
Starting point is 01:11:19 We can always save it. But no, no, why save it when we can spend it right now and never talk about it ever again Yeah, so this is actually is what well when my wife was leaving. I was texting you can start you can hit six oh I can oh I can play Yeah, I think you so much sex put a hat on so I was um texting with her my wife sister and then she texted me something and because of Where the comma was placed because of where the comma was placed I figured maybe she actually likes me. And maybe she was trying to date me. It's so this is a song.
Starting point is 01:11:51 I wanna fuck, I wanna suck, I wanna fuck him. I wanna fuck, I wanna suck, I wanna fuck him. I wanna take down my pant, the loons and put my butt in the input his butt next to my blower, butt, blah, blah, I invented that. My pantaloons and poop my butt in the air and put his butt next to my blower butt But my butt blindfolded that There we invented to butt some making a bubble And fucking sucking and want to fucking suck him I wanna fucking suck in that's what I wanna do to him
Starting point is 01:12:17 And it would be nice and the butt bubble don't forget I invented that And here's the part where I Please don't act it out. Oh god. Oh Jesus. Okay Stop, did Joey you sang this last time Yeah, did you forget? No, I just I'd like that one That's a bangers You can sing that one in my boss. Oh, heck yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're good.
Starting point is 01:12:47 All right, so I made $3 and I got a gig. Well, I'll give you some more cash for that one. Oh, $2 more dollars. $5 and a gig. Yeah. Well, Joey, look, I would wish you luck, but I don't want you to have luck, because I don't want something like you to succeed. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:01 I get it. You know, not a new boundary drawing for Scott. All right, we're running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. I get it, you know not a new boundary drawing for Scott All right, we're running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show That is of course a little something called plug. I am sitting in the morning listening to the podcast I am waiting for Scott Archimand to open up the plug bag and he opens it only halfway But then opens it fully and we're hearing all the plugs The guests at the chair
Starting point is 01:13:27 I have a feeling someone watching me And so I raise my head There's a man on the outside Looking inside does he see me? No, is this you? Really see me because he sees me I love how original this song is It's got Alchemin
Starting point is 01:13:42 Hey Scott, Scott I'm listening to comedy bang bang right now. Scott, I'm a piece pig as well. Scott, Scott. He can I get some more coffee over here? That's for my other channel. If you just have to wait and start talking to a customer. Come on Tom, you gotta do do do do do do do do do your job.
Starting point is 01:14:02 Okay, thank God, wow, that was a plug's diner by Michael Moodo or Mudo. Not sure, but. This might be one of your most musical episodes of all time. It really is. Yeah. I mean, from the comedy bang bang theme to that. The singing earlier, my son. Maybe we should, is there a way to get that?
Starting point is 01:14:17 I wasn't going to include that. Oh, yeah. Okay. You want to soundtrack, put it out. Does that what you're angling? No. No. One of this is a way that we could like, advertise the music lovers that this is the episode to check out.
Starting point is 01:14:26 Like, can we somehow get this in the broad, is there like a Broadway museum or something? No, there should be a Broadway museum. Where they have Broadway theaters in there. Yeah. Like a song's Hall of Fame. Songs only. Songs only.
Starting point is 01:14:39 So there would be one wing that's just for songs only. Yeah, what? No, Hall of Fame is for songs. Just for songs. Yeah, just for songs. yeah, what no Hall of Famous for songs just for songs Yeah, so you what you walk in and you just hear the songs cuz yeah, and it could be a small museum It's a fucking mess all the songs at once people would go crazy and they'd run out But they they have to pay admission first. We open it next to the rock and roll Hall of Fame And then if you can't get in or if you want to go to another one you come over to songs make a little bit of money on the time You guys are really on the same wavelength. You get that overflow. Yeah, seems to me like you're getting excited by this idea
Starting point is 01:15:08 And you might abandon the limo idea absolutely no Okay, so I'm ready now way. It's all bangers everything's going great You know Joey's gonna join me in the limo. It's gonna be fantastic. Okay, all right I don't understand these new boundaries Scott what new bad new bad look? I want you to succeed, Randy. Oh, thank you. But if you're happy, but you don't want Joey to fail. Yes, I want Joey to fail. All right, let's plug things.
Starting point is 01:15:31 Vera Woody have to plug. Obviously, the people's Joker is coming out. How do people get tickets for this? On the OutFest website, I will say it's a very confusing website. OK. But yeah, follow. What's confusing about it the way, like, it's, I'd say I describe a very confusing website. Okay, but yeah, what's confusing about it the way like it's I'd say I'd describe it as
Starting point is 01:15:47 top heavy. It's just a lot of links. That's like that. Yeah, I mean, I think it could be complimentary in other contexts. I guess. Okay, maybe bottom feeder right here. If you Google. So when it applies to a woman, it's great, but a website is bad.
Starting point is 01:16:01 What are we even doing? Oh, you should write a song about that. I'm already down. Yeah. but a website is bad. And what are we even doing? Joey, you should write a song about that. I'm already down, yeah. Just follow me on Twitter, via Dru 22. Yeah, you'll direct everyone there. Anything else happening for you that you wanna plug? This is your plug time.
Starting point is 01:16:17 No, I mean, I, I, yeah, just be on the lookout for the people's joke or hopefully- Be constantly vigilant. Yeah, and Bob on the lookout for the people's joke or hopefully be constantly vigilant. Yeah. And Bob, wake up nervous. Like tell James Gunn to not sue me. Not sure he won't. He'll, he's pretty chill about these things.
Starting point is 01:16:34 And again, that's upon based upon my character, Mr. Freeze. You're still in character. I know. I've never left. Yeah, surprisingly. Like two years ago, you contacted me and I recorded this for 60 seconds on my phone. I'm hoping for a theatrical release obviously. I love the magic of the theater just like Nicole Kidman. I think
Starting point is 01:16:50 that's when the venue is good in a place like that. Absolutely. The vent diagram of me and Nicole Kidman is we like movies. Right. Nothing else. My, you never know. Is there a VOD release plan? There will be. I'm very confident about the VOD release plan. The thing we're holding out for is theatrical and that has been the kind of big sticking point. But I can't get into the specifics, but I do have people that are smarter than me, hopefully, helping us put together an art house run at the end of this year, sometime early next year. How about December 25th?
Starting point is 01:17:32 That's a great day. Yeah, perfect time for a third date too. Oh, yeah. Right at the end of the year. Randy, what do you want to plug? I'll plug season three of Riteshast Jumstones on HBO. That's right. It's out now. At Streamon Max. Yeah. Randy, what do you want to plug? I'll plug season three of Ritius gemstones on HBO. That's right, it's out now.
Starting point is 01:17:46 At stream on max. Oh, sure. I don't know what that means, but okay. That's an Instagram handle, check it out. Yeah, so that's coming out right now. Catch up on that. Shrink is streaming on peacock. I believe it's been extended for another 12 months,
Starting point is 01:18:02 which is great. Oh, that's wonderful. And what else? I think I have plans to put out the hen ties scene that I made for you. which is great. Oh, that's wonderful. And what else? I think I have plans to put out the Hentai Zine that I made for you. Oh, great. Oh, you do. Limited release, maybe a little sale for charity.
Starting point is 01:18:12 That's right. You were at our live show in Los Angeles and you made a little Hentai magazine for me. I did, yeah. And since then, I still have no idea what Hentai is. Sure. I think we, there's something up in the sky. It's a bad signal that says bullshit.
Starting point is 01:18:30 I think I mentioned it to cool up and I said, is it this? And she said, not really, but. And Joey saw, so what do you want to plug? First I'll get to the bottom of that Hintai mystery for you and I'll come right back. I'll call whatever, whatever. I'm just going to have to have you as a call. Yeah. I've been been if you're
Starting point is 01:18:45 now late, you can watch Holy Shit Improv live. It's a great comedy show with all your favorite comedy bank bank formers. You can also watch it from anywhere in the world at our Patreon and on this Saturday. We made sure to end it before we've had Communist China, especially especially. It's not jail blocked in Communist China. No, we have work around. We have a great work around. So we're excited.
Starting point is 01:19:05 And we have a all day improv festival that we're ending at 9 p.m. this Saturday. So I've winking, come to the improv festival and then go check out beers. Mo, it ends right at 9 p.m. It ends right at 9 p.m. That must be why. It's that's why you did 9.50.
Starting point is 01:19:15 We're one, one p.m. And 15 minute travel time and you're there. You're there. We got Edie Patterson, Lily Sullivan, John Gabriel, Lisa Goes. Is that in town? She confirmed that she's doing the show. So, so, so, so, we'll see.
Starting point is 01:19:27 And, and yeah, we're just checking it out, check out all of our shows. We're gonna start being every other week at UCB. And I think we're the only streaming show at UCB. So if you wanna see what UCB looks like on an improv thing, go to Holy shit and... Guess what, you're gonna be disappointed. Well, but we have some camera angles,
Starting point is 01:19:42 not we they have a camera angle lighting, you think? It's pretty okay. I wanna to plug look. First of all, the comedy bang bang book is still out there going strong. There may be some news about it coming up about a new addition. So stay just tuned to this show. One of these episodes, I'll tell you about it, but people can get the info for that anywhere books are sold, but also at CBB world.com slash book While you're at CBB world look, we have so many great shows. Hey Randy 7 7 9 3 7 9 2 6 7 9. That's right. Hey Randy is now out twice a month from what I'm told and A lot of other CBB presents you heard it here first. That's right. We have a Heinz. I'm propped to meet you
Starting point is 01:20:25 As well as this book changed my life. Bill Walton. Bill. Yeah. Walton on Walton as well as what's his other show called. It's the not Walton on Walton. I mean, he did those, but he travels the world and stuff like that. So many good shows over there as well as ad free episodes of this show as well as our back catalog. don't go too far back maybe one or two years and Wait, wait, so you're saying that people can go far back what you just you're saying. Yeah, please don't go Yeah, just one or two years, baby, but you stand by everything that was said in this episode Not everything you said necessarily, but I mean when did you stop listening you? Maybe what maybe like around like up till you stop listening, Vera? You, maybe around up to two years ago.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Okay, yeah, so I mean, before then, Dicey, right? Yeah. I was outraged and I stopped listening. But all of that is over at CBBWorld.com, as well as all of our other shows and exciting time over there right now. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's close up the old plug bag. Blah, blah, blah, you know. Bag, bag, bag, bag, bag. That's good.
Starting point is 01:21:29 Blah, blah, blah, blah, bag. What the hell are you saying? Blah, bag, blah, bag. Open up the plug bag. Get your friends together. Open up the plug. Yeah, that was simply closing a wonderful plug bag Get your friends together from the open up the road. Yeah, that was simply closing a wonderful plug bag
Starting point is 01:21:47 by Chuck Dunker Dippy Dots. What am I doing with my life? What? I wanna think of my guess. Hey, hey, hey, hey, grazzi, grazzi, grazzi. Very, very grazzi. Great to see you. Hopefully you revealed your real accent.
Starting point is 01:22:04 You can finally, finally. A barefoot contestant. Randy always good to see you. Please come back. Joey, you told me that you want me to play track six again for you, is that right? All right, here we go. This is Joey Solos and thanks for being here.
Starting point is 01:22:21 You have to understand, it was a text that my exes sister sent me, but because she put the comma after deer instead of the comma after another spot, I thought maybe she's interested. And me said that I wrote this little song that it goes a little something like this. I wanna fuck, I wanna fuck, I wanna fuck, I wanna fuck him. Alright, we'll see you next time. Thanks, goodbye. I wanna fuck, I wanna fuck, I wanna fuck, I wanna...
Starting point is 01:22:46 We always like, I wanna fuck. Oh, shoot! My fault. I'm very small. you

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