Comedy of the Week - Rum Punch

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

Drawing on various elements of his own life, Travis Jay’s new sitcom Rum Punch is a family comedy about love, friendship and aspiration. Set in Lewisham and following the multi generational Campbells as they struggle to keep their Caribbean restaurant afloat.Travis Jay is one of the most exciting up and coming comedians in the country. He has supported Dave Chapelle and Kojo Amin on tour, and has appeared on screen in shows for BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Comedy Central and Netflix.Cast: Travis Jay - Marley Kevin Garry - Des Eddie Nestor - Delroy Maureen Hibbert - Angie Letitia Hector - Lydia Kevin J - Nicholas @FaceintheNews - TaylorProducers - Jules Lom and Daisy Knight Sound Designer - David Thomas Executive Producers - Jon Thoday and Richard Allen-TurnerAn Avalon production for BBC Radio 4

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. Dez, what are you doing? My mum's going to be any second and you've not helped me set up one thing in this restaurant bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, in a second bro, this is important. I'm catching up on Bridgeton. See, see Lady Whistledown yeah?

She's the one that wrote the society papers. Brother, I thought that was obvious from season one fam. But this be real, she's a sly one though, that Lady Whistledown. God, that reminds me of Lydia you know. This guy! Are you serious, Mali? Brother, obviously they look different, but the composure of them, the elegance,

the fact I just never know where I stand with her. You know what I mean? Bro, you need to let go, you know? You dated years ago and that's even being generous. Yeah, but I got a feeling she wants me back now. The other day, she liked a couple pics on my Instagram, dog. Were you in any of them? No. No. But she knows what she's doing, Doug. Were you in any of them? No.

But she knows what she's doing, fam. Listen, I'm not even doing this again. Now let's talk. I need a date. A date? Go use one of them apps, bro. You got one for everything else. I meant a fight date.

When are you looking to come back to boxing? I'm not rushing back just yet. You know what I mean? I'm on a new diet now. I'm trying to get my body sharp. Yeah, I'm doing it with you, remember? Bro, you said you'd jump on a diet with me, but all I've seen you do is eat in front of me, bro. What would you rather?

I ain't behind your back. I'm being transparent. Anyway, let's talk about the comeback. I might have a fight that's not open for next week. Next week? No, that's too soon, bro. What's the rush, anyway? This.

So imagine I'm in St. Rees, yeah? You know the one in New Cross, and I saw that guy, the bald guy, that kept shouting at the ref. You know the one was that you'll call? So I've gone up to him and said, what's up? Yeah? Well, next minute, he's banning me about my trousers,

saying some nonsense that I ain't got the right bill for skinny jeans. You don't have the right bill for skinny jeans. Anyway, so I said to him straight up, you'd be scared if you knew who my best friend was. Then he's like, who's your friend? Now actually he goes, what's your friend's name? So imagine I told him about like how you're a top boxer,

big job a bit, obviously I left out the fact that you live with your parents, work in their restaurant. Then he says, raw, his cousin's a boxer too. So I thought, boom, you man should fight. So yeah, his cousin's a boxer too. South for, boom, mm. You man should fight. So yeah, I got you a fight. You picked a fight for me with some brother in Sainsbury's. Nah, with his cousin. No, Des, I'm not interested, man.

Time to clean up before anybody come in on me wrapping shop. LAUGHTER Molly, make sure you chop those onions fine, fine, fine this time. I don't want people choking on their food. And please, take the acuota out of the freezer. Oh, wrapping shop? Do you know what song's about, Mrs. C? Oh, relax the burn stairs. It's just a song.

And why are you always here? That's a good one, Mrs. C. I love how bad are you. Mom, please, can I have my phone back? I'll control myself. You clearly can't, Taylor. That's what got us here. Mom, I'm serious.

Stop interfering. You always take everything too far. You'll get your phone back when I say. It's for your own good. You don't get to decide what's for my own good. Whatever. Don't you have college? Well, how am I meant to know when the bus is coming? Get up and go to the bus stop like normal people do.

This is actually dumb. What if I run into an axe murderer and suppose he chases me down and I don't have my phone to record it? Okay. Here's some advice. If an axe murderer comes, run! You don't need an app to tell you that, surely.

Do you need an app to tell you to go to the toilet? Ooh. Ooh. Maybe you should get one that tells you when you're doing too much and being overbearing again. Ooh. Well, if there's an app for that, I hope it come with,

watch them out before you have to find somewhere else to live. Alert. LAUGHTER Molly, Des, try this and tell me if it's too hot. I'll try it. You gonna eat it again? Yes, I'm eating again because I realised I didn't have breakfast yesterday. LAUGHTER What? Bro, you had breakfast today?

I just hate it when there's, like, gaps in my diet. LAUGHTER Yeah, Dad, this looks nice, but I can't even eat this, right? Bro, you had breakfast today? Just hate it when there's like gaps in my diet. Yeah, dad, this looks nice, but I can't even eat this, right? Because of my new diet, it's really working as well. Like, I'm just noticing everything now. You might just be hungry, you know. I notice everything when I'm hungry, like, there's so much chewing gum, like, I spot that immediately. So is this diet your new obsession then, Marley?

What happened to you, I don't know, playing the guitar? Huh? Is boxing out of the window yet? Is this diet your new obsession then, Marley? What happened to you, I don't know, playing the guitar? Is boxing out of the window yet? No, this diet is actually to help my training. But, whilst we're talking, I do feel like we need to look at some of the food that we're eating. Look how much seasoning we use, just in general. And then we put salt on top.

Poison, bruv. I'm not your bruv. And poison is what put a roof over our head Look at this all-purpose seasoning 20% sodium is in that what's the purpose to kill us? The purpose is to make the food taste nice This is just like you dip your toe in the pool and then all of a sudden you tell everybody about swimming Speaking of mush up toes, why are you barefoot in my kitchen? It's called grounding. It's really interesting actually. What it is right? You connect with the earth via the base of your feet.

Where did you discover that? On YouTube? Well yeah, but you can learn a lot from YouTube. Yeah that's true, I learned how to kiss on YouTube. What? Well yeah, but you can learn a lot from YouTube. Yeah, that's true. I learned how to kiss on YouTube. What? I need to get this. And when I come back, you make sure you and your hamato ain't in my kitchen. I'm taking this into my own hands.

Are we there, bro? Hi there. Is that Smith's Wholesale? Yes, I'd like to make some amendments for this week's delivery for Rampage Restaurant. Yes, this is Mr. Campbell. Yes, the short one. Do you mind going through all of this week's orders and just swapping for low salt and low sugar alternatives? Thank you. All right, bye now. You're playing a dangerous game, bro.

No, I'm just trying to save Lucian, bro. All right, big man, here you go. So that's curry goat, rice and peas, salt fish, cocoa bread, two beef patties. Oh snap, wow. What? I just realized that takes you over the recommended allowance for teenagers, bro. You know what, let me throw in some sea moss on the house.

It's a super-sea moss. In my order, man throw in some CMOS on the house. CMOS? In my order man. That's another pass on the CMOS. Listen, is your mum around? Danny stop this nonsense fam. Trying to flirt with my mum. You're a little boy fam. And stop sending those letters bro. We know they're from you. I don't know what you're on about. I'll call you on the ring doorbell like four times. Alright, alright. But just so you know, when I do become your stepdad, All right, all right. But just so you know, when I do become your stepdad... I ain't gonna stop your real dad from visiting. Filming!

Get out. Get him out. Get him out, bro. Marley, I need a favour. Hey, Lydia! Anon. Sorry, what's a Jamaican latte? Oh! Yeah, that was my mum's idea. So basically, everyone around there is proper into coffee these days, right?

This one guy comes in, he goes, "'Rub, does the Jamaican latte have rum in it?' I just said, yeah. Now he comes in every week talking about, can I get another one of those cheeky jerk coffees? Wait. Sorry, yeah, now you were saying you needed a favor. Well, it's for work.

They're keeping me so busy at the moment. Yeah, I saw on your Instagram Listen, they're sending you to some nice places now, man My insta? Yeah, like just in passing. I work really I'm not really paying attention like that. I just came up. Oh You mean Spain? No, no, no, no, no, no, that wasn't for work. Nicholas surprised me for my birthday So about that favor Nicholas who's Nicholas my boyfriend boyfriend oh so you got any man oh that's so good I love I love I love

love you love love as well. You love love? Are you alright? Brother I'm fine fam. So so so so who's my man like what do I know him what does he do like is he what is he tall or? No you don't know him he works in Brandon and yeah I guess I guess he's about normal height. He sounds short. He's a really lovely guy. He sounds like a lovely little guy. Marley stop a lovely little guy. I'm serious. Marley, stop being weird. All right, look, I just imagined you being with somebody a bit more, I don't know, exciting, a little bit more manly. He's very manly, as it happens. In fact, he boxes.

He has a charity match coming up next month. Hold up. You're new in man boxes? You definitely have a type Lydia. What? You mean me and Marley? Ugh, that was such a long time ago. I can't even remember if we kissed. I never type Lydia. What? You mean me and Marley? Ugh, that was such a long time ago.

I can't even remember if we kissed. Hold on, so what happened outside of the bus stop in Tsariki's June 27th? What? Did I kiss myself? Listen, ask Carlos, he was there. Ask Carlos. Mom, we were just kids, okay? You guys need to get over it. Plus, Nicholas actually

fights. I actually fight, yeah? And I've got proper fights, not some charity thing. I'm fighting soon, actually. Des and me, yeah, I mean, we're trying to work out the details now, but that's happening. What? I told the guy, he said no. He said call it off. They call it back on my bro. That's happening. Call him now. Wow. All right. Are you sure, Ma? Like even after last time? Listen, that's not even a thing.

You see, my third eye is open right now. Yeah. New diet, new frequency. I'm locked in. Hola, Manuel Anderson. Disregard my texts. New frequency? Is that why you're barefoot right now? Yeah, it's called grounding. Well, it's helping me reconnect grounding Bro easy on the right now thing. Yeah

Anyway, my favor. Yeah, of course. Yeah, what's up? What's up? Well, I'm hosting a team of investors for our CEO and I need to sort out catering for this big meeting. Oh, that's fine. No problem. Email the details. I'll take care of that. Are you sure? I mean, otherwise I could just ask Nick and then- To stay where he is? Yeah, I've got this.

All right, man, walk. Muchas gracias. Okay, thank you. Anyway, can I get two curry go, rice, coleslaw and plantain to go? Wow, you're hungry today, boy. Oh, no, no, no. Nicholas is in the car. Okay, um, yeah, wow, we ain't even got none of that left, you know. Go in there and tell him I said sorry about that.

Go in there and tell him I said sorry about that. Lydia, my love, good to see you again. I always love seeing you two together. Mum! Hey, Angie. Well, I'm just leaving anyway. Marley, send me the fight details and I'll come and watch you if I'm free. What? What do you mean fight?

Oops. Sorry about that. Bye! Really, Marley? What do you mean fight? Oops. Sorry about that. Bye. Really, Molly? We're too good looking for foolishness. Boxing is for them big neck people. Like your dad's family. Mom, I'm just thinking about it.

No, no, no. Advice next week. I sent Michaels. Sent Michaels? The school? It's the best I could do on short notice, man. Delroy, are you hearing this? Your son is fighting again.

He must like pain. Really, guys? I've only lost a few fights. Muhammad Ali lost five times. He also won 56. You lose three out of three. And you know, it's not nice seeing your kid get licked. I'm not even giving any licks back. Why do you insist on getting hitting out of head?

It's my calling, mom. It's called stripping. Look son, she just doesn't want to see you get hurt, right? For a silly hobby that you're bored of the next day. Dad, I'm going to take it serious this time. Just trust me. Well, if you mean that, I mean actually mean that, well you should let me help you train for this. No, mm-mm. My fire and these professionals around them are all times my friends. I used to box, you know, Des. I was pretty good at it too.

I never knew that. There's a lot of things about me that you don't know. I boxed up until we found out that we were expecting you. If you really want to do this, then let me train you. I've been taking a look at Mr Sainsbury's record, mate. You might want some extra help. Last one! Okay, okay. No, hold up. I'm done. I'm done. some extra help. Last one! Okay, okay.

Nah, hold up, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. We've been out for ages now, man. That was just a warm up. I can't believe we haven't trained together before that. Well, you can be wishy washy at times. One minute you're boxing, next minute you're selling scarves. Scarves? Oh, you mean my snood business?

Poison the snood. I thought that was clever. I wouldn't say that. You must be a little bit proud of following your footsteps with the boxing thing. I will when you start winning. Tomorrow, right? I want you running at 5am. 5am? No chance.

Okay, but I just thought that you were taking this seriously. More seriously than your Bitcoin trading anyway. You remember that as well? Yeah, I lost 5000 pounds. I am serious this time, you understand? But you can't expect me to be working the morning shift if I gotta get up at 5am. Alright, alright. Well, you can have the mornings off. But you gotta't expect me to be working the morning shift if I gotta get up at 5 a.m. All right, all right. Well, you can have the mornings off, but you gotta do your runs.

And I will always be awake. I wake up at 5, so I will know. You wake up at 5 a.m. every day? Why? Well, that's me and your mum's time for special cuddles, you know? Oh, I love it, man. Introducing in the red corner, Julio Bonecrusher Lopez. Why they call him Bonecrusher? Bro, is it too late to cancel this? Hey, listen, you told me to look in when Liddy was here.

Anyway, it could just be a nickname, innit? He probably gave it to himself. He got that nickname from a Mexican cartel. Who let you cancel this? Hey listen, you told me to lock him when Liddy was here. Anyway, it could just be a nickname, innit? He probably gave it to himself. He got that nickname from a Mexican cartel. You got me fighting Oscar De La Hoya in my fourth fight, bro. Hey listen, it's not that deep, man. Just go out there and do your thing, bro. But you can do my thing, do my thing. That's it, that's the plan.

Just pretend you cussed your mum. What? If he cussed my mum, that's between him and my mum. But you know my mum don't play, bro. Fine, just pretend he's Lydia's new man. Imagine him kissing her, all romantic, on the third eye. You had to take it there in it Taylor not interested. Well, I only wanted you to post about Molly's found your insta. What's that?

Molly really again after your first fight sis. I got hit by a lucky punch That's it inside seven, your shoe fell off. Then you threw him in the towel yourself. But, OK... Say all of that was lucky. What about the second fight? OK, cool. I fell out the ring, yeah? But I got a straight away. And then the last fight was even worse.

For the first time ever, you were actually winning, but then you just totally backed off. Why? Because I was going for a points win that time. You've done is a points win. Yeah, it's like, mama said knock you out, not mama said win by decision. Oh, your home, Taylor.

Look, here's your phone back. I hope you've learned your lesson. The only thing I've learned is that my mum loves interfering in my business. I know you're checking your messages during our conversations. What? No, erm, erm, just checking the time. Mum, you're not going to answer that, are you? I thought phones are a distraction. No, no, no, this could be important. Someone might have died. I'll hang up if not.

Oh, hello hello Carol. Yes I can talk. Is this a... You bumped into Idris Elba? When? Today? What about our quality time? Idris might have said something important.

Oh. He's a Virgo. Yeah that makes sense. Oh, he's a Virgo. Is it? Yeah, that makes sense. Mum, Mum, quality time. What are we catching up for, Taylor, when I see you every day? Sure.

No, no, no, no. I heard you the first time. I want to be clear on our normal order. It's been changed, right? Yeah, because I'm surrounded by food and none of it is on our menu so you swapped all the all-purpose seasoning with raw coriander leaf sweetened condensed milk switched to I gave I gave syrup what the hell is I gave I gave syrup

listen just revert everything back to the original order. Thank you. Molly? Dad. Did you make changes to my order? Oh, yes. Listen, I didn't think you was hearing me before when I was talking about that outlook on health

and our restaurant and that diet. Have you lost your mind? This is my business. You don't get to meddle with my business in my hopes. Do you hear me? What? I let you in my business when I let you help prepare for the fight. Your fight? You get a tap on the chin and it will be back to selling perfume. I was never selling perfume. That was oud. Top of the range things from Morocco that's not when will you get it this is how we survive right this is how we pay bills

we've been running this business for 30 years it's culture Marley it's important for us and it's important for our customers some things are actually worth sticking with okay you're Okay. You're right. Yeah? Shouldn't touch your business. Yeah? I'll just focus on mine from now on. Yeah. Fine. Good. We're catering for a big funeral tomorrow. Not to mention Lydia's water.

Now she wants 50 more patties on top of whatever else. What am I going to make those with, eh? I'll garve, syrup? Oh, Lydia. I didn't think. I just... No, no. You didn't think. Why you still here, Marley? You said it. My business, your business. End of story.

Dad... Get out, Marley, and take these kale crisps with you. Yo, Ma, hey listen, happy 5am. Have a good run man. I just wanted to let you know, I believe in you bro. Don't let this guy win you know. And listen, don't message me back. Imagine, I've sent this through the future bro.

It's one of them time voice notes. It's a new app I got. It's mad. I'm for the future bro. It's one of them time voice notes. It's a new apocot. It's mad. I'm asleep right now bro. Come on, there you go. Lydia. Ma, I just saw your missed calls. What's wrong?

Listen, Lydia, about all- Marley, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You knew how important this was! There was a mix-up with- Nicholas was right. Sorry? What does this have to do with Nicholas? He just said I shouldn't trust you with something so important. Friends and business don't mix.

Wow, just a friend now, is it, yeah? What? You are? Well, technically I'm an ex. Yeah, bus stop, June 27th. Come on, man. I Come on man. Why's he even sticking his nose into our business? Whatever Ma, I gotta go. No but Lydia. You were meant to be on the counter 30 minutes ago. Your sister has been covering for you.

I was on my run. Sorry, where's dad? He was out first thing. Said he needed to sort something. Taylor, Mrs. C, here's your tickets for the fight. It's in a school. Yeah, but it's an assembly hall and you got VIP tickets. So you'll be seeing right at the front on the gym mat.

No, I don't need a ticket. What? I've got better things to do than watching you get mashed up. Like what? I don't know, cinema, bowling, scratching my eyes out, anything else. Wow. With family like you lot, who needs haters?

This is the next with the part of Marley Campbell, Julio Lopez, you have 15 minutes to wring them. Smell that Marley, victory. Bro, we're in a classroom, it smells like paper mache in here, fam. I don't know about this desert fam. I feel like we might have made a mistake. Right, hey listen, look at me.

What's your deepest fear? What? Your deepest fear is not that you're inadequate. Your deepest fear is that you're powerful beyond measure. What? Isn't that from Coach Carl? What do you think life's about? Right now, just going out there, landing the hardest punches.

Wrong. Life isn't about how hard you can hit. Life's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving. That's how it is done! That's from Rocky, bro. He's going to bang on quotes. Get out of here. This. Can you give me and Marley a couple of minutes? No worries. I've got a couple mates struggling to get in anyway.

School prefects tellin' they got a tuck in their shirts. Listen, son. I just wanted to apologize, right? Not for what I said, but how I said it. I was frustrated, right? But that wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to- I just wanted to help them. I know, I know you did, I know.

But it was still foolishness. Don't do it again, right? You got it. Dad, I'm feeling worried about this, man. I don't know if I'm ready, like- Hey, Ma. I just wanted to wish you well for tonight what Lydia I'm surprised you came why well I messed up the order like yeah you did but then your dad delivered the whole thing so what your business is my business son wow dad that's

Wow, dad that's... They're saying we need to get to our gym, that sort of song. I really know how this place works. Ma, this is Nicholas. I just walked into my changing room just like that. Listen, I ain't gonna lie to you bro, I don't really like randoms in my changing room before the fight. I mean, no disrespect. Nah, I totally understand. I randoms in my changing before the fight. I mean no disrespect. I totally understand I'm the same when I fight

Yeah, obviously, this is the pro game. Yeah, I mean, so it's different levels. Yeah me. I thought if you're really sure Yeah, apart from this is a primary school This is st. Michael's primary school. Yeah, all the greats come through here Did they? I mean, yeah, yeah. Come on, Nick. Good luck, ma. Good luck, chum. Win tonight, and you might get to warm up

in the year five classroom next time. Dad, be honest with me. You look short, innit? LAUGHTER In the blue corner, all the way from Chihuahua, Mexico, Julio, bum crusher Lopez Bum crusher Jesus Christ In the red corner fighting out Lucian near the Tesco, his South London's very own, Marley, two scoops of pain

Campbell Good job Marley Keep that going. Why are they hugging so much? It's called a clinch, Angie. It's a classic boxing move. Oh, well then me and Delroy box both mornings. LAUGHTER Des, tell me what's happening. I can't watch. I'm looking away. OK, Marley got hit there. And again, and again.

And again. I'm not gonna lie to you. Wow! Massive body shot! That looks sick! Wicked shot! Who? Marley? I know, the other guy. Well, why are you so happy then? I'm just trying to be like non-biased and celebrate all cultures. I'm just trying to be like non-biased and celebrate all cultures. The fire alarm has decided to leave the hall.

Are you joking? Just turn off the alarm. What if there is a fire, Dev? I didn't even thought of that. That fire alarm drill was nuts. Why was the teacher making us do a register? We don't even go here. I can't believe these guys, man. I was winning, right? Well, um... Um...

Yeah, and you saw it through, right? I'm proud of you for that. Thanks, Dad. Where's Lydia? She had her head off, I think. She looked impressed overall. Really? Yeah bro, like I could see her face just like proper shocked at how resilient you were. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what?

Let's get another fight in ASAP bro. Run that soon, I was feeling it in there you know. No, no, no, hang on Marley, there's no rush. Yeah, maybe we need to get a few more training sessions in first. Yeah, I'll look into it bro, no, no, hang on, Molly, there's no rush. Yeah, maybe we need to get a few more training sessions in first, son. Yeah, I'm looking to it, bro. Look, I've lined up some press seats, waiting in the car park.

Press? Seriously? Yeah, he runs the school newspaper. Lots of people think he's gonna be head boy next year too. Well, hang on, hang on, I should be there. They may want a comment from the coach. Taylor, I thought you was busy. Oh yeah, well, I thought I may as well check out.

They stopped the fight. Fire alarm. Oh no, a world. That's crazy. And you're good bro. I wanna check. You're all good, yeah? Yeah, I'm alright. I was doing well. Hey, Molly, we gotta go. Marvin from year five ain't the kind of guy you keep waiting for.

Right. So, make sure he's good. Since when do you ever... Wait a minute. Yeah, fire me the kind of guy you keep waiting for. So make sure he's good. Since when do you ever... Wait a minute. You set off the alarm, didn't you? I had to, mama. I couldn't see this brother lose again.

So after everything you said about me, you've gone and interfered in someone else's business against their will just because you thought you knew best? That's my girl. Face in the News and Chevin James. It was written by Travis James. It was produced by George Lum and Daisy Knight and was an avid production for BBC Radio 4. If you want more, check out the Friday Night Comedy podcast, featuring The News Quiz, The Now Show and Dead Ringers. Hello, I'm Greg Jenner. I'm the host of You're Dead to Me. We are the comedy show that takes history seriously and I'm thrilled to say we have a brand new live episode to finish the series. It's all about the life and music of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. I was joined by

the comedian David O'Doherty, the historian Dr Hannah Templeton and the BBC Concert Orchestra, all 54 of them, and their conductor Gavin Sutherland as we played songs and music from Mozart's life as well as telling jokes and having a lovely time learning about him. It's one of our best ever episodes and I'd love you to hear it. You can hear it on BBC Sounds. Just type in, you're dead to me.