Comedy of the Week - Time of the Week

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

It’s Listeners’ Week! Host Chloe Slack (Sian Clifford) is listening to the listeners who have suggested things to listen to, including vaping, the maths of parenting and murder.Sian Clifford stars as self-important journalist Chloe Slack in this comedy series parodying women’s current affairs and talk shows, surrounded by an ensemble cast of character comedians.Chloe Slack - Sian CliffordEnsemble cast: Ada Player Alice Cockayne Aruhan Galieva Em Prendergast Jodie Mitchell Jonathan Oldfield Lorna Rose Treen Mofé Akàndé Sara SegoviaAdditional voice: Etta TreenCreated by Lorna Rose Treen and Jonathan OldfieldWriting team: Alice Cockayne Catherine Brinkworth Jodie Mitchell Jonathan Oldfield Lorna Rose Treen Priya Hall Will HughesScript Editor - Catherine Brinkworth Photographer - Will Hearle Production Coordinator - Katie Sayer Producer - Ben WalkerA DLT Entertainment Production for BBC Radio 4

BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. Hello and welcome to Time of the Week. I'm your host, Chloe Slack. Join me as we dig under the skin of womanhood to exfoliate the issues that matter most to the spots of women across the UK. Now it's Listener's Week. This means everything we're discussing on today's programme has been suggested by you, the listener. Unusually, you've been talking and I've been listening. But don't panic, I'm a glutton for listening. Hello, waiter, I'll take another helping of the listening, with a side order of empathy. So, new ask, I deliver. For example, Peter and greater Malvern ask to hear the noise

of a peregrine falcon. There you go, Peter. Request actioned. And there's lots more to sink our nashers into today. A few listeners have asked, are children behind at school after the pandemic? We talked to a mum. Susie, do you feel behind after the pandemic? Plato's allegory of the cave would suggest that it was only by staring at the shadows upon the walls of my playroom for two years that I was able to truly undertake the journey from ignorance to enlightenment. Yeah, see, if anything, I think she's a bit ahead.

Stacey Dooley has exploded and listener Twiggy Stevens has written in to say, You can't judge a book by its cover, but can you cover a judge in books? We'll try that later and see how long she can breathe under there. And do you dig digging? We'll meet a listener who's been digging. Today's programme in three words, work experience bring coffee. We're starting with parenting. Unlike a Citroen Bilingo or a Spanish hotel, it doesn't come with a manual. A listener in Belpour asks, is it better to have one good child or seven bad ones? I'm joined by two women on opposite sides of the debate.

Lucy Oates and Margaret Stansted-Runway. Lucy, what are the benefits of having one good child? Well, in general, I'm relaxed. I get a lot of time to myself and my son Bernard brings me a cup of tea every morning. Margaret, this is quite different from your experience, isn't it? I'm not relaxed. I don't get time off and my children make every horizontal surface in the house damp. But there are positives aren't there? Yes, Chloe. First

there is what I have dubbed the Fagin effect. It is great feeling like you are the big boss of a horde of wild children and secondly it has helped with my own moral compass. When I'm not sure how to act, I just do the opposite of what my children do. Margaret, some listeners will be thinking that Lucy lives in a happy home full of love, whereas your life sounds awful. This isn't a question of love, it's a question of maths. Lucy here has one good child, but even if he was being good all the time, he can only produce one full unit of good. If we look at it in fractions, two halves

or if you want three thirds. With mice seven they only need to do one third of a good thing each and together that adds up to seven thirds of good. In your equation you've ignored efficiency so if we take Bernard as producing three thirds of good he is therefore producing zero thirds of bad so he's running at an efficiency rate of 100%. Your children may be producing seven thirds of good, but at the same time, they are also making 14 thirds of bad. To truly compare the amount of goodness the children create, we can use this equation.

Well, thank you both. I'm sorry, but we've got a lot to get through on the programme today. Can I define the sum to infinity of minus one to the power of n plus one multiplied by 4n squared all over 3n squared minus one? I'm going to have to draw this discussion to a close. You can define a sum to infinity only of a geometric progression. That was my point. Yes, no.

It shows that my children are producing so much goodness between them. Can someone please get the mouse? Theirs would quickly become equivalent to the size of the sun, while his would be equivalent to a small football. Now, if you think you heard the sound of a van door opening just then, you did. This week we're in our mobile studio van as we've come to a secret location in the United Kingdom to surprise one of our listeners for Listeners Week and you'll find out exactly where we are later in the show.

But I'll give you a clue, it's somewhere I've never been before, so anywhere in the North. Next, and a lot of you have been asking for it, it's time for Time of the Week's exclusive interview with the notorious dinner-in-a-box killer Louise Knorr. At just 26, Louise, like many of us, signed up to Dinner in a Box, an online meal kit subscription service. I myself love Dinner in a Box because I'm a human that eats food. However, when Louise began following a recipe for vegetable lasagna, she had no idea what horrors awaited her. I had the honour of being the first journalist inside the prison with Louise as she prepares to tell her side of the story in a new documentary, Trusting the

Process, the harrowing tale of a girl who simply followed the recipe. Over to me, Chloe. Louise, how are you doing? I've been better, Chloe. No doubt, no doubt. Let's start at the beginning. You were cooking a vegetable lasagna. That's right. It was my first ever lasagna and just the third ever meal I'd ever cooked.

I wasn't a confident chef, but that's why I liked dinner in a box. I could just blindly follow a recipe. I wasn't even meant to have the vegetable lasagna that's why I liked dinner in a box. I could just blindly follow a recipe. I wasn't even meant to have the vegetable lasagna that day. They'd run out of beef. Wow. And to think if they'd had beef, you yourself would never have had beef with the UK legal system.

How are you finding prison? Erm...bad? Obviously bad, Chloe. It's hell in here. Every Thursday they give us lasagna in the canteen and not only do I have to relive the horror, I've also realised I don't even like lasagna. Is it pasta or is it cake? It can't be both. So take us back to that fateful evening.

You've been given a vegetable lasagna recipe to follow and you begin cooking. That's right. And I start going through all the steps. Step one, I make the tomato sauce. Step two, I grate the steps. Step one, I make the tomato sauce. Step two, I grate the cheese. Step three, I make the bechamel sauce. And then I got to step four, do a murder, lol. Do a murder, lol?

Yes, do a murder, lol. It was there. In black and white. A clear instruction. And I've never made lasagne before. I don't know what it entails. I think it's worth noting at this point that Dinner in a Box denies all liability for this crime. They state that an unpaid intern wrote that instruction into the steps because she, quote, thought it would be funny.

Louise, what do you have to say to Dinner in a Box? I suppose I need to just reiterate. I've never made a lasagna before. When I saw that instruction instruction I just did it. I didn't think to myself, where does human flesh belong in a vegetable lasagna? I was trusting the process. And who among us wouldn't? Do you have anything to say to the victim's family? I'm really sorry. I was just trying to make dinner.

Thank you for speaking with us Louise. Back to you Chloe. Thanks Chloe. Hmm, quite fancy lasagna. Oh, this must be my next guest. Just in time. Excuse me, you can't park here. Oh no, no, it's okay. It's for the BBC. I don't care who it's for, you're on double yellows.

You're gonna have to move it. We're ring-going, we have rungos. Move it. Come on. Right, well, as my producer looks for a new parking space. Oh, talking of parking, actually, we've received an email from listener Cynthia Croppy. When Cynthia saw the news that Rich III had been discovered buried in a car park in Leicester,

she thought, I'll have a go at that. She went to a car park in Ludlow and began her work. Twelve years on, she's still digging. We sent Lisa Thret to Shropshire to find out how the hole is. Hello? Cynthia? I had arranged to meet Cynthia at her hole, but we hadn't clarified if this meant by it or in it. After a brief period of trying to communicate, I realised that the interview would be more

successful if we were on the same level, so I was lowered down on a rope. So Cynthia, why have you chosen to dig for a king in this car park? It's just really near my house. We asked people in the town what they thought of your digging and almost everyone said, you'll find a king up my ass before you find one in that hole. One man was particularly annoyed, he said,

and I quote, I've lost three Peugeots to that damned woman's hole. Cynthia, do they have a point? No king has ever been reported to have died here. I know there might not be a king here, but it comes down to this. If in the end I never find him, would all the hours of gruelling work have been worth it? My honest answer is yes. I've had a wonderful twelve years. The digging itself has been a joy.

Think about it this way. If you like books, it's because you love the act of reading. If it was just about knowing things, you could take a pill version of the book that would put all the facts straight into your brain. But almost no one does that. The joy with hobbies is the process. Also, I might find him. After a while down there, I was surprised to find myself asking the sort of questions you'd ask in a normal person's house, not a mad woman's pit. You are well equipped down here.

I see you've got taps. Oh yeah, I just stuck them straight into the shaft wall. I call what comes out of them pit juice. It's thick and black and incredibly refreshing. That's good pit juice. Cynthia might not have found a king, but she did show me all of the things she has dug up over the years. Here's half a lobster,

an ice apron, the bones of an ancient queen and I found this ultra-fast internet fiber. As I was being hauled back up to the surface and yet another Peugeot plunge passed me into the pit, I couldn't help but think about Cynthia. She might never find the king she is looking for but she has managed to find a level of contentment that few of us will ever unearth. Face for radio, but the skills for podcasting. Lisa Thret talking to us from a car park in

Ludlow. And I'm pleased to say we are now in a car park too. OK, if you could have a conversation with any celebrity, living or dead, who would it be? I've always said myself. I know you get me all of the time but because me does the talking me rarely gets to do the listening to me. But now thanks to the magic of AI my dream is coming true. I'm joined by Maisie from BBC AI, Lexie from BBC YouTube and Lewis from BBC Applied Science. Come on in you guys come into the van sit on the floor. Hello Chloe. Hello. Maisie Lexian Lewis will be making a deep fake of me using AI.

Now when we did a call out for suggestions for Listeners Week, about 98% of our responses were from listeners terrified about AI and 2% were from AI. Can you explain why AI... why AI... why AI is such a hot topic at the moment? Of course, we talk a lot about the concerns of AI in relation to women's issues, for example the dangers of deep fakes in pornography and fears around job security, but there are positives to AI and there are at least seven women working in AI development so we wanted to celebrate those women and we thought what better way to do that than create our very own Chloe.

And how are you creating an AI-ME? Into our software we fed years of your audio, that one episode of Strictly did, and one tuft of hair. The AI will be trained on your voice, your language and your face. By the end of the programme we will have a bot perfectly mimicking your personality. Gosh, how will you fit all my personality into one little computer? Well Chloe, we have road tested this before to great success with Evan Davis. What people think is Evan Davis has actually been AI since 2021. Evan Davis has been in prison since 2021. Cool. So stay tuned for

AI Chloe, AI Chloe, AI Chloe later in the show. Can you guys shuffle towards the back of the van? Oh, OK. Yes, I'll go first. Now, the milkman giveth and the milkman taketh away. Since the 1860s, the milkman has visited households delivering milk. However, as we move further away from consuming dairy milk, instead choosing to consume memes and queer culture, are we at risk of losing this beloved milkman tradition? The newly appointed Minister for Environment, Wool and Dairy,

Charles Opinion MP, said last night on Newsnight, which I'd love to present, that he wants to introduce a bill protecting older people's rights to the milkman. We are joined in the van by the Minister now. Hello Chloe, before we start I just want to say I unequivocally disagree with what you're about to say. I just want to get ahead of you on that. I was about to say you were a really cool guy. Ah, fudge. So what exactly are you lobbying for?

Live milk is dying out. We are seeing the death of analogue milk. I like to compare milk to print. I don't think that older people want to log on and download their milk. They want their newspapers in glass bottles on their doorstep. What have older people been saying? Is there any evidence that they actually want to be door-stopped by milk? I've been going round my constituency and finding that every octogenarian is disappointed to open the door to me and I think it must be because they're expecting milk. I'd love to read you some of their test me actually, I'd just love to. Kathleen, 79, says that

supermarket milk comes in plastic cartons which is bad for the environment. She misses glass bottles and also when the milkman would come and have sex with her. Rita, 80, says that she thinks glass bottles were chic and kind of iconic and also she misses sleeping with a milkman. Francis, 87, says that it isn't just milk she misses getting delivered but also orange juice and also having sex with a milkman. Joan, 81, says she never used to have milk delivered. She was hit a nunnery most of her life, but now that she's lapsed, she'd quite like the opportunity to sleep with a milkman. Arlene, 78, says she wants to sleep with a milkman. Helge, 81, says ich möchte mit den Milchmann schlafen. Alana, 94, says that she used to get very annoyed when the milk float would wake her up at 5am but sleeping

with a milkman would always make up for it. And one from Alan, 85, who says that he misses sleeping with a milkman. And me, 47, says let's give these thirsty women and Alan what they want. What about the lactose intolerant? Well our government is committed to combating and campaigning against all forms of intolerance. Thank you, Minister. Now a little later on we're going to be surprising one lucky listener as part of our celebration of Listeners Week. But before that, the bubonic plague. It's back, but this time as a fashion trend.

In my bubonic plague era is currently trending on social media with vids and pics of Gen Z posing looking sick. But is it wrong to glorify a horrible time in history or is it just bubonic plague girlies turning out some looks? We went to the streets outside Central St Martin's Fashion College to find out more. I'm wearing a Beaks mask, a plague lantern, and this staff is a stick of death. I think it's pretty serving, like, get it. Some girlies died for us, and, like, the red cross on the door, like, yeah.

Sometimes I don't want to answer the door to the fifth Amazon delivery of the day, you know? I think it's very radical and very powerful. In a time where you can just blend into a sea of everyone's the same, why not wear a crucifix and wheel around your wooden cart? Spice it up! Bring out your dad! What do you think about the bubonic plague trend? What do you mean?

Well, you're dressed in long robes, you've got a live rat in a cage, there's blood on your shirt. Sorry, what, darling? I'm making a cage, there's blood in your shirt. Sorry, what darling? I'm making a tiramisu. I'm just getting some sponge fingers from the shop. We've had some messages come through about bubo chic. Willow from the Fend says, this is absolutely disgusting, so insensitive. My great, great, great, great, great auntie knew somebody in the plague.

She would be turning in her grave. Sorry, pit. Minnie from Newport says, what good is this doing for society glorifying people dying? My dog died yesterday. Had to have him put to sleep because he kept blowing dirty everywhere and walking into walls. But you don't see me dressing up as him. Thank you for your messages. It seems like there's still some debate, but whether you're pro-Bubo or anti-plague, you can't deny those fashionistas look drop-dead gorgeous. And you've been getting in touch about lots of other things too. Charlotte texts, are

you enjoying presenting from a van? I used to live in a van. Yes Charlotte. Well, funnily enough, this isn't my first time. When I did my three days as a Blue Peter presenter, I got myself locked in a van in Chester Zoo. For three days. Lulu from Hull says, I've just remembered the third doll. And a listener, Barbara in Stratford-upon-Avon, has gotten in touch to say, hi Chloe, your broadcasting is like a dry white wine. That's lovely.

Except you've spelt wine with an H, Barbara. Come on. Attention to detail is important. Still to come, we'll talk to two women working in the cutthroat halal industry. And of course we'll be surprising one listener at their home without warning. BBC Sounds. Catch it, bin it, kill it. Leah has been in touch wanting to talk about the big V. That's right, vaping. The health issues are well known, but a new growing problem is oral fixation. That's right, vaping. The health issues are well known but a new growing problem

is oral fixation. Women who've quit vaping only to become fixated on putting other various objects in their gobs. Leah is a 38-year-old woman from Birkenhead and is joining us on Zoom. Her 15-year-old daughter Sophie has taken to sucking on rocks and stone she finds on the street. Hello Leah and thanks for joining me today. So when did this oral fixation start? Hiya Chloe. It all started when I took away Soph's losty and Elfie bars. I just chucked them all in the bin. I was sick of her sucking on them like she's a newborn with a dummy. I just thought enough is enough. Take that battery out your mouth, girl. She's distraught, I'm distraught, we're all distraught. That's terrible, Lia. Dummies, babies, batteries. So when did the rocks come into this? Has it always been rocks?

Soph, stop that. Sorry. It started off with my Nokia and then a Pringles tube and then she progressed to rocks. Soph, putotted down. Joining me in the van now is resident medical expert and my own GP, Dr. Leslie Ailing. Dr. Leslie, you're here to talk to Leah about Operation Get Rocks Out of Gob. Have you ever been obsessed with sucking on anything ever?

I'm much more of a chewer myself, Chloe, although I did once suck on a cucumber as a joke. Seem to have some interference on the line. You've got quite a noisy line Leah. She's sucking on me laptop! Just give it to me Mum! Get off Soph please! Soph don't do this! You've got to break me laptop! Oh she's like a shark! The rocks have sharpened all of her teeth! She's dangerous!

Help me please! I just wish she'd go back on the babes. I don't care if she gets past one more year! Oh, yep, we've lost the line there. Shame. That was Leah and Sophie and Dr Ailing. You can leave now. Thanks. Bye Chloe. I ordered that book cream for you by the way. Quite a lot of women have messaged in about their oral fixations.

Tanika, 36, from Buryston Edmonds says she sucked all the biro from all the pens in WH Smith and now faces a lifetime ban. Apple, 32, from Oxbridge says she was found in the middle of the night sucking on a traffic cone. And Rona, 29, from Lewisham, spent four months sucking on her car handbrake until she went automatic. Now very soon we're going to be surprising a Time of the Week listener live on air. But first, The Bear, Boiling Point and Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares are all critically acclaimed

kitchen dramas. Well, you can add to the list Al Bondigas, a new series with record viewing figures in Spain. It may come as a bit of a surprise, but the hit Spanish TV series is, in reality, a Great British export because it was written by a 15-year-old schoolboy from Redditch, Callum Surnane. Say hello, Callum. Hello. Right, let's hear a clip of Al Bondigas. Oh, how disgusting. This soup of chickpeas is very salty. Here a clip of albondegas. How did all of this start, Canum? Honestly, I was doing my GCSE Spanish, right, and then my teacher, Senora Smith, was like

this week's homework is to write an episode of a fake TV show, so I did and then it all kind of snowballed from there. Snowballed, yes, because your teacher sent it to acclaimed Spanish film director Pedro Almodovar, is that right? Yeah, so basically Pedro said, I want to executive produce a 10 part series of this and then it all kind of snowballed from there. Now Callum, it hasn't all been plain sailing now has it? Because you've faced some criticism for the depiction of the female characters in the show. Some viewers are calling it demeaning.

Oh, right. Instagram user, LiveFastCryYoung, has actually done the maths and worked out that no female character talks for more than 10 seconds without being kissed by a male chef. OK. Take a listen, Callum. It's difficult to succeed in this world. In the kitchen, it's a hellish heat. You have no idea what it's like to be a woman in a world of men.

More importantly, you must remain optimistic and believe in yourself. Cooking is not just a job, it's a lifestyle. I guess I never really noticed. I just started writing female chefs and it all kind of snowballed from there. Callum! Oh, that'll be your mum to pick you up. Thank you very much for joining us, Callum. Now, do you recognise that music?

Janine does, as she's written to ask, does anyone else remember the Mother and Daughters Afternoon Broadcast? Well, for those of you like me who are young, I mean, it was a long, long time ago and I'm really young, it was the original companion programme to Time of the Week. It was made for mothers and daughters to listen to together. Well, Janine, we've managed to dig an episode out of the archive for you. Take a listen to this, which was originally broadcast on the 23rd of July, 1951. Good afternoon. I'm Oswald and this is Clarisse.

Hello. The time is a quarter to two and this is BBC for Mothers and Children at Home. This week we'll be looking at what it means to grow up. Have you ever thought about growing up? It'll happen to all little girls eventually. Most girls would expect to grow up and work in a kitchen like mummy but actually ever since the Germans obliterated our manufacturing industries we need all little girls to spend 17 hours a day working in this factory. But Oswald what will these little girls be doing in this factory? Wonderful question Clarice. Her Majesty's government needs nimble adult female bodies to scurry under a hot Morris Minor and attach the

chassis to the Guibo. That's Guibo. G-U-I-F-B-O. Guibo. The Guibo is a disc shaped rubber coupler which slots between the transmission and the drive shaft and is used to dampen shock and vibration. Once again, remember, that's Guibo. G-U-I-Y-B-O. Guibo. The issue is that the Guibo requires the nimblest of wrists to slot it into the Morris Minor. Most male wrists are simply too burly from carrying the weight

of war and shaking hands with the enemy. So remember girls, keep your wrists thin. Don't do any strenuous work which may increase the size of your wrists. Avoid opening doors or flipping pancakes. Stay clear of writing or typing on typewriters. Don't lift cups or plates. The show seems to have sparked a heck of a lot of a conversation today as our message box is chocker. We've received a voice note from Carla who says, I'm 87 and I grew up in an area where milk was delivered weekly rather than daily. I'd get a big shipment of fresh milk and then do a bumper session with the milkman.

Inspired by 15-year-old Callum writing a hit Spanish drama series, Brandine in Tottenham sent us this. For my GCSE Spanish oral exam, I got confused and performed dentistry on my teacher. And Nila from Monmouth sent us this. For my GCSE Spanish exam, I sat down intending to learn the Spanish dictionary from top to bottom. I reached E, but then discovered boys. So you could say my exam did not go excelente. I've now left the van and I'm walking from the car park to surprise a listener by turning up at their house. I'm excited to see their face when they see my face and then when they realise that that face contains

the voice of Chloe Slack from BBC Radio 4. OK, here we are. Oh, I see movement. All right. Hello. You are live on the BBC. No, I'm not. What's that? Yes, yes, yes, you are. It's Listeners Week here on Time of the

Week and we thought we'd come along to you, our extra special listener. What's Time of the Week? Radio 4, women, news. I'm pleased to present you with your very own Time of the Week gift basket. There's a Time of the Week branded menstrual cup, a little badge, says Hi Listen to Women and a mug with my mug on it. No, no, I don't want to buy anything. No, no, it's free. No, no, get away with your foolishness. Well, just leave this basket on your doorstep, but get it before it rains.

None of it's waterproof. Well, back to the van. Just a reminder that you can listen to Time of the Week on your digital radio, online, or on your smart speaker, but I'm your smartest speaker, Chloe Slack. Now, earlier in the show, Maisie, Lexie, and Lewis started work on an AI version of Moir, and my watch tells me they should be just about ready to show

me what they've been up to. There you are shuffle back up to the microphones you know it's finally time for me to meet me. That's right Chloe the system is ready. If this has worked correctly it will be almost impossible to tell the difference between deep fake Chloe and you. Here we go. Chloe, meet Chloe. Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. And that's me, is it? Looking at the code, yes, this is the 100% accurate analysis.

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Well, I absolutely love it. That's amazing. Lovely to meet you. I mean me. It's gone deeper than it did with Ervin Davis. Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. Brilliant. I won't need to come in tomorrow, but I will. Fantastic. Thank you so much, Maisie, Lewis and Lexie. Our pleasure. And thank you for listening today. That's all we've got time for. AI Chloe, do you want to sign us off? It was created by Lorna Rose Trean, Jonathan Oldfield, Ada Player, Alice Cocaine, Aruhan

Ghaliaba, M Prendegast, Jodie Mitchell, Mofei Akonde and Sara Segovia. It was created by Lorna Rose Trean and Jonathan Oldfield, who wrote it with Alice Cocaine, Catherine Brinkworth, Jodie Mitchell, Priya Hall and Will Hughes. It was produced by Ben Walker and is a DLT Entertainment production for BBC Radio 4. Thanks for listening to the Comedy of the Week podcast from BBC Radio 4. If you want more check out the Friday Night Comedy podcast featuring the News Quiz and Dead Ringers. Hello I'm Brian Cox.

And I'm Robin Ince and we are back with a new series of The Infinite Monkey Cage. Robin, in 15 seconds or less, can you sum up the new series of The Infinite Monkey Cage? Yes, I can. Do you want to learn how to win at every single board game you ever play, including Monopoly and Cluedo? Do you want to know about alien life coming from Glastonbury? Do you want to know about the Wonder of Trees with Judi Dencham? And do you also want to know about the unexpected history of science

with Rufus Hound and others at the Royal Society? How is it unexpected? I don't know, which is why it's unexpected. It's unexpected to me. It might not be to the listeners. The Infinite Monkey Cage. Listen first on BBC Sounds.