Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - 2024 Memorable Moments: Celebrity Interviews

Episode Date: December 30, 2024

Sona, Matt, and the rest of Conan’s team close out 2024 with a compilation of some of their favorite segments from Conan’s interviews over the last year featuring guests Al Pacino, Tom Hanks, Caro...l Burnett, Niecy Nash, Walton Goggins, Ted Danson & Woody Harrelson, and Larry David. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, welcome to Conan O'Brien, Sonam needs a friend. Hello, welcome to, Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Um, sorry, we just ate and there was a little gurgle there and I really apologize. And if you didn't notice it, now everyone's rewinding so that they can hear it. Why am I talking? Can I start over again? No, I think we nailed it.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. I'm Sonam O'Bessian. And I'm Matt Gorley. And you're Matt Gorley. Well, you pointed at me, but at the same time, you took a breath like you were going to speak. That was very confusing. Yes. And then I don't do this usually, but Conan is not here in case anyone has noticed. It's me talking. I'm Sona. I am not Conan. And the reason that he's not here-
Starting point is 00:01:00 I've never done this before, but shut up. The reason that he's not here. I've never done this before, but shut up. The reason Conan is not here is he's back east with his family. He unfortunately lost both his parents not that long ago, so he's taking some time away. So Matt and I are holding the fort and holding the fort is strong. Yeah, I think opening the fort to invaders. Yes, I really need him to be here just to make this easier and more smooth. But I kind of like the vibe.
Starting point is 00:01:31 I do too. It's just like... Easy going. There's just the five of us here. Adam's with us and Eduardo and Blay. And we're just... We're eating pizza and we're just hanging out. So last week we did a collection of notable clips from our segments and intros was just just you, me, and Conan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:48 This week we're doing some notable clips that kind of came to mind from so many wonderful moments this year of the celebrity interviews. And, I mean, yeah, we're starting off with a big one. What the listener won't know is that we retook this part. Yeah. And in the first time we did it, you said banger. And since Conan wasn't here, I felt the need to point out your hard G. Yes. And I responded by saying, you don't have to.
Starting point is 00:02:19 That you don't have to try to fill those gigantic shoes, is what I'm saying. And I think that would be Jude of me to not do that. Yeah, and then you made a joke about later on listening to a clip from Walton Joggins, and that didn't make sense. It does make sense. How does it make sense? I said banger, it would be gawk-ins.
Starting point is 00:02:40 I'm pretending that there's no such thing as a hard G, that everything's a soft G. Okay, so I'm gonna channel Conan and be like, it's good that you have to explain what your joke is. We're starting with a bengar. So, you're French and you still got the hard G in there? I did! Bengar.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Bengar. Uh, bengar. Banger. Banger. Banger. Banger. Hey, that's pretty good. Okay. Here's the clip.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Al Pacino. Let's listen. ["Banger"] You know, it's interesting because you're grabbed by the theater. You're this kid, as I said, who, you start reading Chekhov. You start reading the classics, and it grabs you, and you start reading Chekhov, you start reading the classics,
Starting point is 00:03:25 and it grabs you and you start seeing some productions. You get into theater, you have so many go nowhere jobs just to stay alive. I mean, you're delivering papers, you're building superintendent for a while, but not a good one, I don't think. Never, never. The guy came out and started talking about me
Starting point is 00:03:45 a few years back, saying he was a terrible super, or something like that. And I thought, why? Why would he say that? Who's a terrible super? I'm sure there's a lot around. I mean, you know. No, I saw that.
Starting point is 00:04:00 It was a really old man who was like, I remember him. He was a terrible super. And I'm like, OK remember him. He was a terrible super. And I'm like, okay, take his Oscar back. Take away your terrible super. It's like, what the fuck? What are you talking about? You come along, you're doing theater, and then this thing that people dream about happens, which is you get noticed. Francis Ford Coppola is going to make The Godfather,
Starting point is 00:04:35 and he says, I want this guy, Al Pacino, and the studio says, fuck you. Of course. We want Robert Redford. We want, you know, we want, we want, you know, we want someone who's been a success. We want someone who looks a certain way. We want someone probably blonde hair,
Starting point is 00:04:58 blue-eyed, whatever. Sorry. Yeah, exactly. I'm looking at you when I say it, I'm sorry. They wanted me, actually. You know, my grandmother. I was eight at the time, yeah. My grandmother on my mother's side
Starting point is 00:05:12 has blonde hair and blue eyes, so just to note that. It's in there, it's in you somewhere. Yeah, it is. But what I'm saying is, they don't want you, and I've seen the screen test where they're saying, But what I'm saying is they don't want you, and I've seen the screen test where they're saying,
Starting point is 00:05:27 okay, well, how about Jimmy Khan is Michael Koehler? They're trying everybody, they're throwing everybody in there. But Francisco Coppola sticks with you, they start shooting, and you can tell, you read in the book, and it's riveting on the set, people are like, I don't know about this guy. I don't know about this guy. I don't know what, and you can tell, you read in the book, and it's riveting on the set, people are like, I don't know about this guy.
Starting point is 00:05:45 I don't know about this guy. I don't know what, and you can feel it. Yeah, well, they were giggling. You heard giggling. Yes. So here's what's amazing to me. These scenes that I've watched and that everyone's watched in this room 100,000 times that are now
Starting point is 00:06:01 iconic master classes in how you play a character, you're doing it and people are going, oh man, let's hope they get a real actor in here soon. Which is unbelievable to me. Was it that severe, Conan? I was an eight year old kid, but I was there. And I had a lot of pull with the studio. I called Paramount and I was like,
Starting point is 00:06:26 I don't think he's got it. Who is this? Eight year old Coder O'Brien. What are you? It'll be a big deal someday, you'll see. We're not choosing a real phone. Why are you mining them with your hands? Oh my God, it's funny.
Starting point is 00:06:42 But no, and the thing is, which is, to me, I look at that performance and as you say in the book, your concept, which was clearly the right one, which is you got to slowly see Michael come to this position. And then there's the iconic scene where they're all trying to figure out after Vito's been shot what to do. And you are sitting there with your broken jaw, and you say, okay, we arranged a meeting, and the camera's pushing in.
Starting point is 00:07:10 I can't watch that, and I can't talk about it without tingling, because I think it is a beautiful way to tell a story through acting. But it takes patience. And the studio was saying... Well, they wanted to see something else, I guess. And both Francis and I, I think, felt that way about it. But we were unable, or at least I was unable,
Starting point is 00:07:34 to articulate what I was doing. But I was doing that. I thought about it on my long walks in Manhattan. You talk about it, you would take long walks, you'd get the film, but it hasn't started shooting yet. You took long walks. Yeah, I would about it, you would take long walks, you'd get the film, but it hasn't started shooting yet, you took long walks. Yeah, I would go all the way from 91st to the Village and back, 91st and Broadway, and I'd just think about the part.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Think about it. I still do that with roles. I just think about them. And it's fun. It gets me through the walk. Yeah. You get your step. I'm glad to know that in coming up with who Michael Corleone
Starting point is 00:08:12 was, you got your steps in. Yeah, there it is. I managed not to get hit by a car. In those days, it was a... They should make a Fitbit that tells you, you have achieved the character. 10,000 steps. Stop. Stop walking.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Stop. Stop now. You've nailed Michael Corleone. You've got it. Oh my God. Did you hear I said wow along with myself in the exact same time? Yeah, you did.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Yeah, I think I saw that. And also I love that it just cuts to you just so you could say wow. I know. What a dork. But I don't mind because we're in the room with fucking Al Pacino I know can you believe that we get to do that? Conan's used to this you and I we don't I mean I guess you got to being his assistant all those years Not in this kind of like atmosphere And you could I mean I I can tell just from looking at that clip, how I
Starting point is 00:09:05 was feeling and I was like, just don't say anything. Don't move. Don't do anything dumb. It was amazing because he's so nice. I know. I was obsessed with The Godfather. One of the first movies I saw was The Godfather 2. I begged my mom to watch it and at a very young age. Like three? It's one of my earliest memories of movies. Really? Yeah. And it's a three hour movie.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I know. I can't believe that was like, you watched it early on. I would never, I don't know. I was watching like Goonies. What a treat to be in the room with that guy. I know, that was really cool. Sitting across from Michael Corleone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Amazing. And then this next guy's no slouch either. Yes. Thanks for going along with it. You know what? Yeah. Tom Hanks is next. And I was walking by and he was just standing in the hallway and somebody introduced me.
Starting point is 00:09:54 I think it was Paula who introduced me to him. And then he said, what's the first car you ever drove and what's the car you're driving now? And it was just such a, like, I'm sure that's a question he asks a lot of people just to like- He just had that ready to go? He had that ready to go. And it was so, it was just such a like, I'm sure that's a question he asks a lot of people just to like- He just had that ready to go? He had that ready to go. And it was so, it was so cool, but also made me reflect that my first car was like a broken down Jetta and now I drive a minivan.
Starting point is 00:10:14 So it's like my evolution- That's a lateral move. You seem like a Jetta girl. Oh, I was, I had three Jettas before. Yeah, I was a Jetta girl three Jeddas before. Really? Yeah. I was a Jedda girl for sure. Yeah. Is that a compliment?
Starting point is 00:10:28 Yeah. Okay. Let's take. Did you just read the description? Because I did too. Yes, and I think I remember what I say in this, so let's roll it. You scared the hell out of me. I was on a bike with a friend of mine. I won't get into the exact con- but on a,
Starting point is 00:10:51 taking a bike ride with a good friend of mine, Brad, and we're going up this- Pit. Yeah. Maybe. And Brad Paisley. And suddenly this, this car, like a kind of a Jeep SUV thing starts coming and all of a sudden the window comes down and you lean out the window and start yelling at me.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I did it, yelled at me. And you start doing some bit, which was really funny, doing a bit. And then my friend is like, that was Tom. It happens all the time. But you know what, it was like laughing. Like your head just came out of a- Knock, knock.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Yeah, or it was like Batman when he was climbing up the side of a building and suddenly a window would open and it's, you know- It's Jerry Lewis. It's Jerry Lewis. It's Tom Hanks. I thought I live the most amazing life where a darkened window can come down
Starting point is 00:11:42 and a goofy Tom Hanks can pop out and yell at me when I'm on a bike. But think about everybody else, because on that, there's a lot of people that come there to walk that... You know, it's a long line, and they're all kind of like bicycle weenie geeks, you know, guys with $6,000 mountain bikes, saying, on your left! You know, as they're going up and coming down.
Starting point is 00:12:01 But they're gonna see you. I mean, you're as tall as Big Bird for crying out loud. And they're gonna say, I believe I saw Conan O'Brien struggling up the hill. Have you heard that halfway up that ridge, there's this place that apparently in the late thirties, you probably know about this, right? Absolutely true.
Starting point is 00:12:20 In the late thirties, some people who were pro-Hitler and pro what the Nazis were doing. So Nazis. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. They- As a lay historian, I'll come in and get the record straight.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Okay. They were members of the party. There were people who were sympathetic to that cause in the late 30s before America was in the war. And they purchased a piece of land, am I correct? You are correct, sir. That they thought would be a place that the Fuhrer would like to hang
Starting point is 00:12:55 when and if he comes to America, maybe because he conquered it. I don't know the whole story. Do you know the story? It was owned by the German Bund. And there was a period of time, a German Bund, the Bund was essentially, hey, we're all Germans. We all live America.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Let's form a fraternal organizations like other nationalities. Yeah. You know, and I'm going to hope that before before they found out just how bad Hitler was, you know, but there there, I swear I have seen photographs of like a 4th of July in the 1930s up there with the fireworks thing. And they would have, no lie, a picture of the founding fathers
Starting point is 00:13:37 and a picture of Adolf Hitler, an American flag and a Nazi flag, the German Nazi flag. And they were saying, our country is coming back, et cetera, et cetera. And I just hope that maybe you can get away with that in 1930, you know, but it continued along. And in fact, it is now a scout camp
Starting point is 00:13:56 or it had been for a while. And I have gone there to scout a location and there was like the main lodge, you know, there's tents and stuff like that. But there was like the main lodge, you know, there's tents and stuff like that. But there was a main lodge that honestly looks like, you know, a German Alpine chalet. That all you have to do is paint it red, put a couple of Haken cruisers on there,
Starting point is 00:14:17 and you are right back in Naziville, USA. So this is a place that in our neighborhood, you go up this, there's this big hill and- Did I say Jerry Lewis also lived in this neighborhood? Yeah. And why did you choose to live here, sir? Listen, we have these meetings that are none of your business.
Starting point is 00:14:35 All right. No, but this was my story, which is that they, that was something I've always heard. And then occasionally you'll find that it mentioned that this piece of land lives and that maybe, and some people get the story, they get it wrong, and they think that Hitler spent time there, like in his board shorts, looking out at the Pacific.
Starting point is 00:14:54 He did come out for pilot season one. And he needed a place to stay. Six pilots didn't get one of them. Not a one. It was almost a seventh friend, but anyway. But I'm with my friend once, my same friend Brad that you saw, I'm riding, grinding up that hill on our bikes to just try and get to this very steep
Starting point is 00:15:22 and parts we're grinding along. And then we're these two women, like blonde, 22 year old, I swear to God, wearing like bikini tops, very, and they just looked like they were just come from a sorority party. They flag us down, like they were in trouble. And I said, what is it?
Starting point is 00:15:41 And they went, do you know where the Hitler camp is? What? There you go. Where's the Hitler camp? About that. And I went, oh, it? And they went, do you know where the Hitler camp is? What? There you go. Where's the Hitler camp? About that. And I went, oh, ladies, well, all right. Like, God, he's still pulling in the trim, that Addy Hitler. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Jesus. Still pulling in the trim? I know, what? Jesus. Oh, wow. Jesus, Matt. Jesus, Matt. Wow.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Come on. Now, we are making light of a very, very dark period, without a doubt. Yes. I mean, you don't want to say, yeah, come on up. How do you get to Conan's house? Oh, well, you've gone too far if you hit the Hitler camp.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Right. Make a U-turn at the Hitler camp. When you get to the Mussolini cul-de-sac, take a left. Yeah, yeah. Take a left. Yeah, right path's a time to try and go. But yeah, that's up there and yeah, yeah. I'm gonna switch gears here real quick. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Let's see how you do this. And I wanna talk about the Japanese and Jerry Lewis and 1944. One other major thing that happened with Tom Hanks and Jerry Lewis and 1944. -♪ MUSIC PLAYING. -♪ One other major thing that happened with Tom Hanks that we have to cover is that he was the second but no less significant A-list celebrity to look diagonally across this table from the chair
Starting point is 00:17:00 I'm sitting in right now and tell Aaron Blair to shut the fuck up. That's right. Blair, what did that feel like? It's, uh, well, I always try to interject. You don't have to shout, Blair. And shut the fuck up. Now there's three A-list celebrities. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Can I just say a thing very quickly? It's kind of tough for Eduardo and I because we're back, we're out of the limelight. I've been there a couple of times, I know. Except I am in direct eye contact with every celebrity. Harrison Ford, Al Pacino. Well, they're looking at me, really. Okay, you just might think they're looking at you.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Well, you know what? And they do look at you, but then sometimes they look over at me. They're probably looking at me still. They look at you happily, and they look at me like, what's happening over here? So whenever I say anything, it's always they immediately want me to shut up,
Starting point is 00:17:45 because they want to hear from you. No, I think there's something about you that makes people think that they could just immediately just be, not shitty, but like joke around with you. Like, I'm saying this as a compliment. You're back cuddling now and I'll take it? I appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:17:58 No, I am saying it as a compliment. I don't think they feel comfortable saying shut the fuck up to just anybody. So there's something about, Thank you. I gotta stop? Thank you. I don't know. I'm trying to give to just anybody. So there's something about, I gotta stop. I don't know, I'm trying to give them a compliment. But to answer your question, it's incredible that we get to interact
Starting point is 00:18:10 with these people at all. So the fact that both Harrison Ford and Tom Hanks told me to shut the fuck up. Amazing. Truly, I mean, life moments. But there has to be a third. Life moments. Well, I think there probably will be,
Starting point is 00:18:23 and who's it gonna be? We should all take a bet. But will it happen organ imagine who that's gonna be. Well, I think there probably will be, and who's it gonna be? We should all take a guess. But will it happen organically, or will it be someone that is aware of it? That was what I was gonna say. We don't think that Tom Hanks was aware of it, right? No, it felt real. Of Harrison Ford telling Blake to shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:18:35 But it was such a, like, what are the odds that they would use the exact same words? Yes. And the best part about when Tom Hanks did it is we all collectively celebrated. Yes! That's why a third one is we all collectively celebrate what he did. That's why a third one is gonna blow the roof off this place. I know what you're saying about being in the eyeline.
Starting point is 00:18:51 I'm in Conan's direct eyeline throughout the whole entire interview, and I find the more esteemed the guest... This is a look behind the curtain here. The less he will look at the guest and the more he will talk to me, which makes me so... Because I have to do that fuel face, where I'm fueling him with energy and admiration and laughs and... And it's not like it's not legitimate, it is,
Starting point is 00:19:11 but I'm very conscious of, I've got to keep this guy going, here I go. And it's just a hell of a thing. Now, see, I feel the same way about the celebrity, and I overdid it, I think, with John Mayer, because John Mayer, at one point, stops and he goes, man, you are really vibing with me right now. And I was like, oh my God, oh no, like, have I screwed up?
Starting point is 00:19:31 Like, you know, because I'm trying to, exactly, exactly the same thing. It's like being under a microscope. And so I find myself, after these podcasts sometimes, drained. Exhausted. Exhausted, because you're kind of like an emotional cheerleader.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Yes. And not that, again, I absolutely enjoy being here but there is it is kind of like a sending vibes or or just like giving somebody back good energy and yeah but yeah yeah I totally agree but like life moments they were they are life highlight moments I'm anxious to see who's gonna be number three. I am too, I am too. I'm anxious to see who's gonna be number three. I am too, I am too. I am too, I am too.
Starting point is 00:20:08 I am too, I am too. I am too, I am too. I am too, I am too. This next one was very special to us because Carol Burnett is an absolute legend. And we went to the Four Seasons Hotel and got to talk to her there. This is a very special story about another absolute legend, Lucille Ball. Both of these women were formative in my youth for television and everybody else, I'm sure. But this was an incredible day.
Starting point is 00:20:34 I know. This was one of those like special days where I was like, I'm gonna remember this forever. Just being here talking to her, it's amazing. I just, I, I, I... Oh, boy, we better roll it. Someone's gonna need to take a break. -♪ MUSIC PLAYING. -♪ I wanted to ask you about Lucille Ball,
Starting point is 00:20:55 because obviously growing up, even though the show had long been gone, it was running constantly in reruns, I Love Lucy and that was the format for the modern sitcom that has endured for 50, 60 years. And I know that she was very kind to you. She saw you as, hey, this kid has something, I like her. How did she reach out to you?
Starting point is 00:21:23 Or how did she reach out to you? Well, I was doing the off-Broadway show called Once Upon a Mattress. And we had just opened the night before and the second night there was a lot of buzz I could hear in the audience and Lucy was in the audience the second night. I remember I peeked through the curtain and I saw this big shock of red hair and there she was. I was more nervous that night than I was opening night, the night before because she was in the audience. Of course, yeah. Anyway, it went okay. I had this funky little dressing room off Broadway.
Starting point is 00:21:54 She knocked on the door after the show and came in. This couch and it had a spring coming up. She was going to say, I said, look, I see it. Is it my first rodeo? Anyways, we visited for about a half hour and she said, she called me kid because she was 22 years older. She, if you ever need me for anything, give me a call. She said, if you ever need me for anything, give me a call. So about four or five years later, I did a few things and then CBS was going to give me a special,
Starting point is 00:22:32 a one hour variety thing if I could get a major guest star. So the producer said, call Lucy. I said, I don't want to bother her. He said, well, all she can do is say, I'd love to but I can't, I'm busy. Got her on the phone, called her office. She came up, hey, kid, you're doing great. What's happening?
Starting point is 00:22:51 I was just, I said, oh, Lucy, I'm doing, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I know you're busy. And she said, when do you want me? And she did, we did the show together. So then when I got my variety show, and then I did several guest appearances on her later shows. Yes. The Lucille Ball Show and when she played Lucy Carmichael. That's right.
Starting point is 00:23:17 All of that. With Gail Gordon. Right. Yeah. Right. And then when I got my show, she came on. So we traded on and off. Oh, wow. This one time,
Starting point is 00:23:29 she's on my show and we have a dinner break before the orchestra rehearsal. So she and I went over to the farmer's market to have. So we were in the Chinese restaurant there, and she's knocking back a couple of whiskey sours. You know? Please tell me it's the morning.
Starting point is 00:23:48 No, it was a nighttime show. Okay, okay. So at that time, of course, my husband, Joe Hamilton, was executive, it was producing our show. And so she now was not with Desi. She said, you know, kid, it's great that you got Joe handle a lot of stuff for you because when I was married to the Cuban.
Starting point is 00:24:12 Like he's a cigar. He did everything. Desi did everything. He took care of the scripts. He took care of the lighting, the camera work. He's the one who invented the three cameras. Yes. Yeah. Genius. Yeah. Yeah. And also she said, when I came into the Monday morning, the table read, everything was perfect because he had seen to it. And all I had to do is be crazy Lucy, you know, fine. So then we got a divorce.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Now I'm going to do the Lucy Karma, whatever it was. And I came in, no Desi, and we read the script and she said, it was awful. Kid, it's stank. And she said, and I thought, oh God, what am I going to do? Desi's not here. He did it. She called me for lunch and she said, she went back to her office. She said, I've got to be strong. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:14 I've got to be, I got to confront this the way Desi would have. She said, so I knew what I had to do. Went back to the table read and I told them in no uncertain terms how I felt about the script, how we had to fix it. She said kid and she took an L and that's when they put the S on the end of my last name. Now, she sent you, I think, flowers every day on your birthday. On my birthday, in this one birthday, I got up in the morning and turned on the Today Show and she had passed away on my birthday.
Starting point is 00:26:00 And that afternoon, I got flowers that said, happy birthday, kid. I will. Yeah. So we had a great bond. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Legend. That's amazing. Do you remember she came into that room
Starting point is 00:26:16 and there was probably 15 people in that room. She shook everyone's hand, asked for their name, and then after the interview was over, said goodbye to everybody, pretty much by name. Like a total pro. And also, there are moments when everybody's on their best behavior. You know, like we're all like dressed a little nicer,
Starting point is 00:26:34 we're all not goofing off. Usually a president of some kind. Yes, and yeah, we had the same amount of gravitas towards her as we would a president, a first lady. As well, you should, yeah. All right, this next one is Mece Nash with a very funny story. I've always heard it was your idea to put on the prosthetic fake booty.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Is that true? That's a fact. That's a fact. Because you know why? Because the women in my family, I did not see them on TV. You know what I mean? Now you could buy a butt on every corner. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:27:13 You can buy one on every corner. But then it wasn't popular to have all of the, you know what I mean? And I went to so many booty fittings, like you don't even understand. And they couldn't get it right because they were building it straight back. So I went to my girlfriend and I brought her up there
Starting point is 00:27:34 who had the natural slamma jamma. And I'm like, you see, you gotta start from the hips and wrap it around. So I got the booty right, it was really. I love that you brought your friend in. What was your friend's name? I don't know if I should say it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:52 You just mean it's a compliment. What I'm saying to your friend, hey, come on over here. I need your ass. I need your ass. Get your ass over here, literally. Get your ass over here. Literally. And you know, let me tell you something that friend of mine true story
Starting point is 00:28:10 Her butt and my and my up top was how we got to look Prince right in the face We didn't have tickets to this Grammy party He was at and I so we went around the side and there was a security guard I said girl, you know what to do there was a security guard. I said, girl, you know what to do. She started walking backwards. I started walking forwards. I was like, come on. And we walked over there. So he let us in the back door. So we get in the party. And then we lied and said that I'm always lying to get a job. Right. We lied and said she was Prince's cousin. And so we go. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:28:47 The purple one was behind his door. So we walk up to security like, yeah, we need to get in there. She's like, I'm his cousin. I'm like, yeah, she's his cousin. And he looked at us up and down. He said, one minute, he closes the door and goes. And we're like, yeah. The he closes the door and goes. He goes, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,
Starting point is 00:29:06 he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, Yeah. That is so cool. And I don't even know what that had to do with the booty, but the point is, it was that same girl's butt.
Starting point is 00:29:27 She walked backwards to get in. The power. But her butt. That's how she got everything in life. But she walked backwards. We deny this card. Oh yeah, check this out. The card works.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Conan's so jealous right now. Okay, let's talk about this. I have famously, I have no ass. There's just nothing back there. It's talk about this. I have famously, I have no ass. There's just nothing back there. It's a straight drop. And I'm thinking I should get a prosthetic. Is there something they make for men now? Yeah, but make sure it's done right.
Starting point is 00:29:54 You should bring a friend in who has the right butt and then have them do it. Ding ding ding. I don't know. I don't know what the right butt looks like. You want me to call my friend? Yeah, exactly. You should come.
Starting point is 00:30:03 And I should say, I want this. But the point I was making is that that butt wasn't popular back then. That body type, not even the butt, just the body type. And I wanted to be somebody that my aunties could look at and see themselves. And so I was like, I wanna look like the women in my family. And I have to tell you, so many men met me in life after
Starting point is 00:30:30 and were so disappointed that I didn't have the thing on. They were like, you lost weight? I'm like, no. I can go get it. It's in the back of the car. Yeah, basically. Just keep it with me at all times. Yeah, you could borrow hers. Well, don't they make something for men?
Starting point is 00:30:48 No, I'm just saying, you could borrow the one she uses for Reno 911, no? Maybe I can, do you have a name for it? You nicknamed it? I did not. But you know, my prosthetic one, like I have one that I will wear under the uniform, but the prosthetic one that I wore
Starting point is 00:31:05 with the thong bathing suit, that one, somebody stole it. You bet they did. It was in a temperature control locker somewhere. I'd have died if I knew where that was, I'd grab it. I'm taking on vacation. What are you gonna do with it? I don't wanna talk about what I'm gonna do to it.
Starting point is 00:31:24 That's my business. You're invading my privacy right now. I buy two airline tickets and the prosthetic ass is in the other one. And we both have a glass of champagne. Oh my God. Can I tell you, I love Necy Nash and I love Reno 911, and I had no idea that was a fake butt until that conversation. And between that and Conan's story about Prince, which he's told a few times on the show right before he went on stage, the more I hear about that little guy.
Starting point is 00:32:01 That little guy? Well, he's very little. He is, I know. He's just a mischief maker. That little guy? Well, he's very little. He is, I know. He's just a mischief maker. That's true. Someone just told me a story that he was at a huge gala party, just as a guest, stood up on a table and hopped from table to table to table to the exit as if it was just all happening spontaneously.
Starting point is 00:32:18 But then if you did any further looking down, you saw all of his people were prepared with their hands clasped together to be his little bridge from table to table to table. So he talked, he like talked about it before. With them. This had been planned, but it was all made to seem spontaneous. That's insane. This is also coming like third, fourth degree. Who knows if it's true, but you print the legend. Oh, man, that's awesome. I loved when Eastie Nash was here cause I've always loved Reno 911.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Me too. And just, she was just like, she had that energy the whole time. You really missed out. It was so much fun. You really, really missed out. Do you ever? Yes.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Like I hate missing recordings. I do too. I missed Billy Crystal, John Stewart, cause I had to go back and see my family and you just, you know, you curse your family. Do you? Yeah. I really don't have much going on besides this.
Starting point is 00:33:11 So I just, I really don't miss very many, but I have missed a couple and I always have a big time fomo. There was one, I remember I was just like, I wish I was here for that. Yeah, you're almost always here. I don't have a ton of fomo in my life. If anything, I have a fear of not missing out.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Of not. A fear of being included. Oh. A FOMJ? Yes, that's the one. But. Fobby, where did the J come from? It's a soft G.
Starting point is 00:33:38 Oh. So, well, I did not miss this next one, which I am very glad for, because this was a really funny guest and a really funny story. I have to say, when we find out who gets booked on this show, there's an email sent to all of us just being like, this person got booked on this day.
Starting point is 00:33:54 And it's very rare for me to respond and just be like, I'm really excited, even though I am. But this one, I replied to everybody on the email, including, I think, probably SiriusXM employees and like a lot of other executives who don't care about my opinion. The guest himself. And I was just like, I cannot wait for this episode.
Starting point is 00:34:17 I think you said something like, little baby Billy? No, that wasn't me. I forgot what I said. I can't remember, but I feel like you said little baby Billy. Yeah, but then everybody else started responding. It's like every single person was excited about this. You responded, when I saw this booking, I gasped.
Starting point is 00:34:36 That's right, that's right. So this is Walton Goggins. Anti-climactic. You've played so many great characters, I think. Yeah, I have. ["The Righteous Gemstones"] You've played so many great characters, but in The Righteous Gemstones, I feel like the minute I started watching that show and then you showed up, and I remember not knowing you were gonna be in the show
Starting point is 00:34:57 for some reason, and the minute you show up, I thought, you can't do The Righteous Gemstones without Walton Goggins. You have to have him. Did I tell you can't do the Righteous Gemstones without Walton Goggins. You have to have him. Did I tell you this story about the, about the David Gordon Green was directing that episode? And the very first time you meet baby Billy, he's in a bathtub.
Starting point is 00:35:14 Oh, I know this. He's in a hot tub. Yeah, yeah, hot tub, bathtub, outside, looking out at his land, looking out over his empire. And at some point in the scene, he stands up and, you know, he's fully naked. And the viewer sees. The viewer sees everything, and then he turns around, he puts on his bathrobe and then steps out of the bathtub.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Well, they call then a body double to do that, who was 76, 78 years old, something like that, to be in the tub, right? And they flew him in from Chicago. I'm like, how did you, what's the audition process? You couldn't find him in South Carolina? Really, you had to go to Chicago? So he comes in and I meet him. You had to go to Chicago to find a dick?
Starting point is 00:36:03 Yeah. This guy's top of his game, you have to understand. Top of his game. The top dick guy. And I met him on that day and he was dressed like me, kind of looked like me and I'm thinking like, who are you? He said, I'm you, you know, I'm your body double.
Starting point is 00:36:18 I'm standing in for you. And I was like, oh, okay. Cut to the show comes out, there it is. And I get a phone call from this friend of mine who says, oh my God, baby Billy Freeman, I just, I can't stand it, I love it so much, and can I just say how good your body looks? And I say, what the fuck are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:36:39 He's 76! 76 years old, you think that's my fucking body? Ha ha ha ha! 76 years old, you think that's my fucking body? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I mean, it's a nice penis. I don't know. It's definitely a Chicago penis. It's a Chicago penis. You can tell. And you know what? South side. Deep dish. That's a south side penis. Deep dish.
Starting point is 00:37:10 Deep dish south side. That's a White Sox penis. That's not a Cubs penis. Does not have a southern accent. Yeah. Oh, very Yankee. What's going on here? What are we doing here down south?
Starting point is 00:37:18 Penis, shut up, you're ruining it. I just got out of a hot tub. Yeah. Gotta get a sausage. What are you doing here down south? Penis, shut up, you're ruining it. I just got out of a hot tub. Yeah, gotta get a sausage. ["The Last Supper"] Oh, I love him. Did you watch Vice Principals?
Starting point is 00:37:36 Yes, definitely. Can I just say a thing where I, like you, so I love Walton Goggins, he's one of my favorite people. And sometimes when celebrities get here, I get to just say a few words to them as they come up the stairs. And I had to tell Walton Goggins this, he comes up, he's one of my favorite people. And sometimes when celebrities get here, I get to just say a few words to them as they come up the stairs. And I had to tell Walton Goggins this, he comes up, he's very nice, I shake his hand
Starting point is 00:37:50 and we're talking for a second and I go, you know, I have to say, you have a gin, right? He goes, well, yes, I do. And I was like, my old boss and I, Dan Ferguson, got very drunk one night on your gin and it was delicious. And he put his hand on my chest and goes, well, then may I just say, you are welcome for your inebriation.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Oh my god. It's like a blessing you've been baptized in the spirits of Hork and Goggins. The most charming man ever. Just dripping with charm. Just dripping. I love him. I think I love every single role he's in,
Starting point is 00:38:25 and if I hear he's in something, I will watch it. He's one of those actors. It's true. Yeah, that's why I watched Fallout. Even though I never knew anything about the video game. I watched the show. And he's very serious in that, right? He has, like, barely a face. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Right? What's wrong with it? He's not totally serious, but he's the villain. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you haven't watched it, you, but he's the villain. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you haven't watched it, you should. It's really good. Okay. Yeah. ["Wedding March"] ["Wedding March"]
Starting point is 00:39:01 Well, next up are two of the most lovable people that you'll have on this show. I think Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson in a very special circumstance. I think it gets explained in the clip probably. But what a way to kick off this episode. I know, we were all waiting for Woody to get here and he explains it in this clip, right?
Starting point is 00:39:20 I mean, that's what the clip is. But I think anybody, even Woody, probably would say, it's probably not uncommon to sit and wait around for Woody Harrelson, because he lives on a different... clock, time zone, planet, or whatever. But this was a very special reason. Let's watch. -♪ MUSIC PLAYINGan
Starting point is 00:39:41 I think we should address the elephant in the room. Woody, we started a little bit later than we thought because you had a bit of a tumble. Is it fair to call it a tumble? I think a tumble's a fair term. Yeah. Did go over my handlebars. You went over the handlebars.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Yeah, I was honestly and embarrassingly, I was passing this Tesla on the left that I felt was moving a little slow, but I didn't realize he was moving slow because he's taking a left. Yes, and you were on a motorcycle. On a motorcycle. Yes, and is that your primary way
Starting point is 00:40:13 of getting around a motorcycle? Well, I always feel like the shortest distance between two lines, between two points in LA is a motorcycle. So I do tend to take it, but today it proved not to be so very fast in terms of transporting me. We lost some time while people were figuring out, are you alive?
Starting point is 00:40:35 Your soul had to reenter your body. Did you think for a second when you were going over the hood of the Tesla, this is gonna be a huge problem or the whole time were you thinking I'm all right? No, I always thought I'd be okay. I just felt like there was some pain involved. I felt the pain, but I never thought I'd be, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:54 killed or anything. Okay. Or named. Your hand is wrapped up like someone in a cartoon. That's cause I wrapped it. He did it. Did you, and you, is this true? I wrapped it and I thought it looked funnier that way. He did a great job.
Starting point is 00:41:07 So let me get this straight. All of your first day training is helping people in a way that will look funny. Yeah. It's not going to help him not get infected or anything like that. You didn't set the bones in the proper way. You set them in the funny way.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Funny way. OK. And we're in the bathroom, and I'm like, didn't you play the doctor, right? And he says, yeah, I also played a lawyer so we can sue the guy. He said, well, I think it's gonna have to be a lawyer for the defense.
Starting point is 00:41:38 It's not... I'm not as good with that, sorry. So, this is fascinating just to be behind the scenes and know that you guys are both icons. I'm not as good with that, sorry. So this is fascinating just to be behind the scenes and know that you guys are both icons. You're on the way to do the podcast with your friend Ted Danson. You wipe out on the motorcycle, you hit a Tesla,
Starting point is 00:41:56 you get it together, you come here, you need medical attention. So Ted Danson is the one that helps clean the wound and wrap you. Yes. Why wasn't we called a real doctor at any point? I take Ted Danson over a real doctor. Thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Thank you very much. By the way, his confidence, his demeanor, everything about the way he does it is you feel like, yes, I'm in the best hands. So never doubt it. I did kind of have that. I was choking back tears, but I was efficient. First of all, I'm very happy that you're okay.
Starting point is 00:42:28 Me too. It was weird when he asked me to disrobe, but I'm going to... It's for hygienic purposes. Hygienic and also tax purposes. So do you wear... What kind of protection do you wear when you ride? Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:42:46 We're not doing that protection. The other protection. Are you armored in any way? Are you wearing a helmet? I did. I was wearing a helmet. Okay. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:55 And so, I actually did help me because I did hit my head, but the helmet, so no problem. Okay, good. Woody, this makes me sad, buddy. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Don't be sad. This makes me sad, buddy. Really? Yeah, yeah. Don't be sad. Damn, I'm sad. Sad and why sad?
Starting point is 00:43:09 Well, he could have been hurt badly. Badly, it makes me sad. Does it inform what you might do in the future? Might you? No, that's out of the question, I'm sure. Yeah. It probably, it should. It certainly should.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Yeah. But this is how you are, right? You live in life on the edge. Yeah, maybe, maybe, yeah, right. In other words, maybe I should just slow down in life. Just take it a little easier. Hey, you're doing great. You skinned your hand. Man up. Sorry. I'm switched. I'm switched.
Starting point is 00:43:39 You just switched. I had my cherry moment. Sorry. Literally, 15 seconds ago, you said, I'm so sad. I'm so switched. I had my cheering moment. Sorry, literally 15 seconds ago, you said, I'm so sad, I'm so sad. I'm over it. You're my friend and I'm so sad, and then you're telling him to shut the fuck up. Right.
Starting point is 00:43:53 My sadness didn't play in the room, sorry. You're talking about me going slower. My sadness didn't play in the room. That is such a sick thing to say. Such a sick thing to say. Oh wow, we're here in the room. That is such a sick thing to say. Such a sick thing to say. Oh wow, we're here in the ward with the terminally ill children. Hope you guys feel better soon.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Tough break. Hey, that didn't play so well, let me try something else. Hey, Timmy, how long you got? Jesus Christ, Ted. I know what you mean though, Woody. There's something about Ted. Every time I've talked to him, see him out in the world, I'm immediately, I just get this calm.
Starting point is 00:44:31 You have a very calming presence. And I don't, yes. Is some of it maybe related to the fact that you are so ubiquitous and well-known? Yes. Right. But do other people say that? You just, you'd be like an amazing therapist. You know, I'm doing these moderate to severe
Starting point is 00:44:49 Plaxoriasis commercials, which I think tells you all you need to know that under this, I am, by the way. You can calm other people, but there's no calmness in the interior. Yeah. Yeah. Do you suffer from this malady, or is they just, the money is too much to trade out? I live on the edge. Yeah. Yeah. Do you suffer from this malady or is they just,
Starting point is 00:45:05 the money was too much to trade out? I live on the edge of fear, basically. Yes, I remember you sitting me down once during cheers and I think I was about to get divorced or something. He said, Teddy, why are you so fearful? Stuck in my head all the time. And that's what I find amazing. You may have fear and all of that,
Starting point is 00:45:24 but you take such big chunks out of life and I love that and yourself large month is this on camera by the way you wish I think we're gonna see this it's comical that's the thing one of the three stooges would put on their heads. They had a headache. I know. That's crazy. Does anyone have an ice pack? I haven't seen an ice pack like that in 50 years. Not a bad idea though. Yeah. Yeah. Does it look cool?
Starting point is 00:45:52 Oh yeah, it looks really cool. Yeah. What you can't see is didn't he also have his leg propped up? And listeners can go to the Team Coco YouTube channel and see these clips, because often the clips themselves are longer as well than what you're hearing today. But this one,
Starting point is 00:46:09 because also they're drinking large glasses of watermelon juice. Yes. Or like strawberry Agua Fresca or something. It's just quite a sight. It's watermelon juice. They get it for every recording they do of their podcast. So that, you know, they do a podcast here
Starting point is 00:46:20 where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson, sometimes is the title. And yeah, they get these watermelon juices. But they both like watermelon juice? I think that's adorable. One of them turned the other one onto it and then they get... I bet Woody turned Ted on. I think that's right. Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:35 But I will say that they have this like odd couple dynamic that is really special and there's just like, they just love each other like brothers. Yeah. And it's a good plug for the other podcast because the other if you like them together and I can't imagine anyone doesn't The other podcast is really really great. No, do you ever after we leave? Are you like I want to be friends with you so bad? Yeah, I feel every once in a while someone will come in and they'll leave and I'll be like we could be we could have such A good friendship together. I thought about that with Mila Kunis.
Starting point is 00:47:05 I thought about that with a few other people, but Mila Kunis jumps out, cause we, I feel like we really bonded when she came on here. But with them, I really just like would love to just go to dinner parties with them and just be friends. You know, Woody invited our team, a handful of us went to his, to his dispensary when the show launched.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Oh really? Oh my god, I gotta go. One of my favorite memories of that night was, apparently Woody really loves magic, and so he had magician bartenders, so you'd order a drink, and they'd be like, whoosh, whoosh, whoom, and then it would like appear or whatever, and it was really cool,
Starting point is 00:47:42 except as the night goes on, and an open bar, you kinda just want your drink, and so you're like, cool it was really cool, except as the night goes on and an open bar, you kind of just want your drink. And so you're like, cool, that's great. And you flip in the bottle around like, and then fire and oh my God, and you're like, cool, that's oh man, okay, oh great, oh, that's so cool. Oh man, okay, cool, thank you for the drink. So we ended up ordering like several at once,
Starting point is 00:48:00 just so you could kind of. So he's not doing those now you see me movies for a paycheck, it's out of love with the girl? I honestly, I feel like it's a passion. It was one of the coolest nights and that dispensary is, it's got a whole big garden in the back, it's beautiful. We should do a field trip there with Conan.
Starting point is 00:48:17 We should. We should move our studio to that dispensary and just start recording there. Calm down, I would love to. All right, well we're gonna close this out with the Larry David clip that, man, this whole interview is one of the funniest we've had. Yeah, and this moment is a very curb your enthusiasm,
Starting point is 00:48:33 Larry David moment. Very much. You're just like, this would be a plot point in Curb. ["Curb"] You know, people ask me all the time, they say to me, Conan, you know everyone in the business and I say thank you. And then they say, Larry David, is he exactly like he is on Curb Your Enthusiasm? And I say, yes, he is.
Starting point is 00:49:00 You are exactly like that guy. You would claim that you're not quite that guy, but the times I've hung out with you at parties, I feel there might as well be a camera recording this for HBO. You are the same guy. You know, I take that as a tremendous compliment. Yes, you should. Because I gotta tell you something.
Starting point is 00:49:16 I love that guy. That guy. Oh my God. I am so in love with that guy. Yeah. Really. He's my hero. Yeah. He should be.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Yeah. It must be nice though, because you've carved that out for yourself. And then if people encounter you in real life, you don't have to in any way contort yourself to please them. You can tell them, I don't feel like taking a selfie. It's not really what I wanna do right now. And they must love it.
Starting point is 00:49:53 And they laugh, and they laugh. Except a couple of weeks ago, I got invited to a dinner party. And, you know, 10, five, 10 years ago, I would have gone, okay, yeah, okay, sounds good, what's the address? And now this time I said, who's coming? Oh, yeah, did not go over well.
Starting point is 00:50:20 The person was offended? The person seemed to have been a little offended. And I wound up not going. Wow. So there you go. So there you go. So I tried to be Larry and it didn't work. But by the way, as long as we're on the subject, is it such a terrible question to ask who's
Starting point is 00:50:46 going to... Why is it such a secret? Why is that a secret? I don't understand the big secret. You can't say who's going. Why? I don't get it. Yes.
Starting point is 00:51:00 I think you are within your rights to ask who's coming. Thank you, thank you. Because you wanna find out, also, I'm imagining you have enemies. Uh. Uh. Uh. And, uh, you know, you wanna make sure
Starting point is 00:51:15 you're not walking into a party. I just made four more as I walked into the building. I know. I know. But you know, you wanna make sure, you wanna know. Yeah. Yeah, I wanna know. It's like a mobster who's going to a restaurant
Starting point is 00:51:26 wants to know how many ways are there in, you know, if there's, if I'm attacked, is there a way out? Yeah, exactly, because a lot of times, honestly, you'll be invited to these dinner parties and you find yourself sitting next to some insurance salesman and you know, you're there the whole two and a half hours sitting next to him or her, whatever. It's not comfortable.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Let me ask you a question and I want you to be honest. You came to my house not long ago. You didn't know who was gonna be there. Were you pleased? Were you not pleased? And you can tell me. Well. Were there enough celebrities to make you comfortable?
Starting point is 00:52:03 Were there two, did you feel that it was a good environment, a good ecosystem for you? I need like three comedians and I'm fine. Yeah. Right. Do I count as a comedian? Oh, Conan. Conan.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Conan. Conan. Conan. Oh, Conan, you're poor. It's just sad. It's just sad. Don't do this to him. Poor Conan. Poor Conan. Poor Conan. It's just sad. It's just sad. Don't do this to him. Oh my.
Starting point is 00:52:27 Yes, Conan. Thank you. You can do it, Conan. Well, I wasn't sure. You seemed happy. You seemed pleased. But then at one point- Comedians, comedy writers, either one, whatever.
Starting point is 00:52:39 But at one point I noticed that you had retreated to a separate area and you were just observing. You were eating your food and you were just observing. You were eating your food and you were just observing other people. Well. As if you were, you know, looking at birds. You know? You were doing little sketches.
Starting point is 00:52:56 And I wondered if that's normal behavior for you. Well, I'll tell you what. I don't like sitting with a plate on my lap. Right. Okay? Right. And I saw there was a counter, there were stools in front of the counter. And I thought this would be a good spot like sitting with a plate on my lap. Right. Okay? Right. And I saw there was a counter, there were stools in front of the counter, and I thought this would be a good spot to plant myself.
Starting point is 00:53:10 Yeah. And so I planted, and it turned out to be a great spot because when people come over, this is what I do at parties, by the way, I always sit. You can't be in the middle of a room making small talk. And then you're going, your brain is racing, you know? Oh my God, oh my God, I'm out, I can't. I got nothing. I got nothing, what, what, the bathroom? Do I have to go to the bathroom?
Starting point is 00:53:42 Do I have to get a drink or? Do I have to get a drink? Or, I know, I'll do TV Larry. I'll do TV Larry. All right, well, it's been nice talking to you. And then you move on. I think people know now that you can't have interminable conversations. They can't go on forever. There's gotta be an out. There's gotta be an out.
Starting point is 00:54:11 You know what? You're on a podcast right now. How long is this gonna go? We may be done. And this is our special five hour salute. No, but it's not. It's a special five hour salute to Larry David. But I think I have an idea for parties.
Starting point is 00:54:25 I have an idea for parties. You have a party sheriff, okay? Yep. And he sits. He's in a chair above the party. He's overseeing the party. Yep, like a lifeguard. Like a lifeguard.
Starting point is 00:54:41 Or he's in another room on video. Yeah. And he's got cameras on everybody. Like a pit boss. Yeah, like a lifeguard. Like a lifeguard. Or he's in another room on video. Yeah. And he's got cameras on everybody. Like a pit boss. Yeah, like a pit boss. And he's seeing the conversations. He's looking at them. He's seeing how it's going.
Starting point is 00:54:53 He's looking at the body language. He's timing conversations. And then he sees that somebody's in trouble. And he goes, okay, all right, I gotta go. He goes down. He takes the version by the arm. He goes, excuse me, this is over. This is brilliant.
Starting point is 00:55:13 This is brilliant. I have to have this. I have to have this. I mean, this is a great idea. It's brilliant. It's fantastic. Thank you. I love that idea.
Starting point is 00:55:21 I think we've all been there. He doesn't even pretend to take, hey, I need to talk to you about this. No, no, no, no. Everybody's aware. Everybody's aware. Also, does he flash a badge? Yeah. Does he put up a badge and say, this is over? Everybody's aware there's a sheriff.
Starting point is 00:55:35 There's a, you know, there's somebody overseeing overseeing the party. By the way, I think that'd be a good one. It'd be great. I'd like to volunteer. Oh, I could do that job. We need a podcast, Sheriff. You could do that. I definitely could do that job, a party sheriff, for sure.
Starting point is 00:55:51 -♪ MUSIC PLAYINGan's song playing. -♪ Oh, God. I have to say, I happened to be at a party with Larry David last week. Uh, doesn't happen often at all. Maybe never has never happened really. And I did talk to him and I basically just went up to him and said, you know, how much fun we all had when he was here. And he was very, very kind and said that like this was his
Starting point is 00:56:14 favorite, I don't know if he said favorite podcast or favorite talk show he's ever done, which I believe when he says because I don't think he would just say that to be kind. Yeah, if ever there was time, it wasn't gonna mince words. But the whole time in the back of my mind, I was conscious of making sure I didn't think he would just say that to me. If ever there was something, it wasn't gonna mince words. But the whole time in the back of my mind, I was conscious of making sure I didn't talk too long. And just being like, I'm just gonna say hi and then be done,
Starting point is 00:56:31 because I don't want the party sheriff to get me. Yeah. I mean, what happens when you go too long with the actual party? Who's sheriff's the party sheriff? That's a great question. I think he would have just said, like, great talking to you, thank you. And then like, time to go. Well, the would have just said, great talking to you, thank you. Yeah, yeah. And then like, time to go.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Well, the podcast sheriff has said it's time for us to wrap this up. Yep, yep. And we'll be back next time with Conan, right? That's right, we'll be back with a regular episode next week, and like I said, you can go to the Team Coco YouTube channel to see all these clips in their full lengths.
Starting point is 00:57:02 And this has been a fun diversion. We're sorry for the circumstances and sending love to our boss. Yes, we are sending a lot of love to all the O'Briens and the Reardon's in on the East coast. It's all of Conan's whole family is out there. And yeah, it's a, it's a really hard time, but also they lived very long, very beautiful lives,
Starting point is 00:57:23 made a huge impact on everybody, and made a huge impact in their fields, and they're gonna be missed. And I mean, this is the end of the year too, really, isn't it? I know, it's the holidays and everybody take it easy out there and enjoy yourselves, and we'll start fresh next year with good attitudes. Okay. Good attitudes. Because we usually have bad attitudes or? I don't know. Why are you questioning? I'm sorry. It was just an odd thing to say. But yeah. 2025, here we come.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Happy holidays, Matt. Happy holidays, Sona. You know you're like my sister. You know what? I feel like we have a brother-sister relationship now. I think we do. We've been doing this for a while, and you're my favorite part of this podcast. Oh, same here. You know what?
Starting point is 00:58:12 Just like sitting across and looking at you whenever Conan says something silly. Which is every three seconds. Which is all the time. We're just like two kids in church just like making each other giggle. I don't know what I would do without you. I wouldn't have made it this far without you.
Starting point is 00:58:25 You would have been fine. No way. No way. You would have been okay. You're my rock. Oh, well, that's nice. I'm quitting next week. Okay. Well, so am I then. All right, and thank you to Adam, Eduardo, and Blay.
Starting point is 00:58:36 I know. You guys make this happen. Literally, Adam, you make this happen. Yeah. We have a good team. Yeah, we do. Why do we need that other guy? I don't know. We do. That's true. I don't want to sit in this chair again.
Starting point is 00:58:49 No, it's weird. There's something about this chair that makes me uneasy. I like being over in the corner, just like not saying anything. That's right. Okay. Happy New Year, everybody. New Year. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien,, Sonam Avsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, and Brit Kahn.
Starting point is 00:59:38 You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend
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