Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Slush Metal

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

Conan talks to Katherina from Austria about her heavy metal band Cringe Blizzard, German anti-jokes, and finding a lost t-shirt. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/conan and code CONAN.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi. Hi, Katarina. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Hi.

It is so great to see you. Well, I wish I could see you, Katarina. I don't see you yet. Can you really see her? I just see a, huh? Can she really? Oh, there she is. Oh, there she is.

There you are. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, you were, I just saw a dark screen and I thought I was having some sort of cerebral event, but I'm fine now. I can see you. And could you start again and just say who you are and all that stuff?

Yeah, my name is Katarina. I am calling from Austria, from Feldkirch. And I am also having a cerebral event. This feels like a weird fever dream. This is so weird. It's weird. Yeah, weird to use Zoom. Is that what you're saying? What's weird? Yes, exactly. That's weird. Like after four years of pandemics. Yeah. Yes, exactly. That's weird. Like after four years of pandemics. Yeah. No, like, I mean, I've listened to your podcast on an 11 hour drive from Poland back home, listening to your voices and it is very weird to interact with you right now. Well, I'm sure that's the best way to take that road trip. I was going insane. I think half of my brain melted doing the drive, but it kept me awake.

Worth it. We have saved many a driver's life. Well, listen, is it Katarina and you are from Austria. Which part of Austria again? Yeah. From the very wild west, from Feldkirch. It's actually just a... Feldkirch. Feldkirch? It's actually just a... Feldkirch?

Feldkirch. Yeah, it's just a 15-minute walk to Liechtenstein. Okay, so it's a 15-minute walk to another place I can't pronounce. I come from Scheißenhauter. It's just seven minutes from Ulten-Slatten-Lieden-Amber-Rosch-Liechten-Glappen. It's nice to talk to Katharina, and tell us a little bit about yourself. What do you do? For work?

Well, for whatever. Just tell me about yourself. For whatever. Okay. Yeah. I work as a psychologist. I did my bachelor master's degree in Zurich, did a PhD in social neuroscience in Bern. And now I work with adolescents between 14 and 18 years old.

I like to make metal music. Oh my God. Okay. Well, wait a minute. First of all, you seem like a very impressive person. You have great knowledge. You're helping people. But I want to hear it. You said, I like to very impressive person. You have great knowledge, you're helping people. But I want to hear it. You said, I like to make metal music. You're talking heavy metal, yes? Yeah, well, heavier than heavy metal, yeah. Oh. This is the vibe I'm getting

from a banner that says Cringe Blizzard. Yeah, tell me about this. There's a banner behind you that says Cringe Blizzard. Is that the name of your heavy, heavy, heavy metal band? Hell yeah. Tell me. Yeah, one of my bands. What kind of music do you play in Cringe Blizzard?

And feel free to have a drink at any time. Okay, thank you. Then I will switch to beer. Hey. Yeah, we're talking. Very good. Well, you are from Austria, yeah. So tell me.

Yeah. The band that looks- We have the best alcoholism over here. We'll get to that fun stuff in a bit. I don't know what you're talking about, I'm Irish. Behind you there's a banner that says Cringe Blizzard. Is that the name of your heavy metal band? Yeah, it's one of my bands, yeah.

Well, tell me what kind of music, what is Cringe Blizzard? What kind of music do you play? Cringe Blizzard is a fantastic journey through insanity and madness. I love that sound. We do like... Well, it is... It's kind of hard to put it into a subgenre. I mean, it's like sludge metal, but also death metal, but also trash metal, but also...

Whatever. Yes, yes. No, I'm familiar with- You know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah, of course. Yes, yes. It's death metal, but it's also slush metal and cringe metal. And why the word cringe? Why the word cringe? No, I like slush metal.

Why cringe, Blizzard? What does the word cringe mean to you? Well, our goal is to make great sound, but unbearable life performances. So... So you're trying to... Are you trying to force people out of the room when they come see you?

Yes. You are? So, yes, we are. So the goal is to sell out like stadiums with thousands of people, but by the third song, people are gonna leave and we're gonna be by ourselves. Wow. You know what? I have confidence you can achieve that dream.

So your job is to basically just clear out the audience when you play. And so the word cringe means you really want people cringing when they hear your music. Not when they heard the music, but when they see out live I love this so essentially you just want to do a job that you can go home as early as possible. Oh Exactly. Yeah, but still like cash in the money from the entrance fee. What do you do live that makes people leave? Oh, well I do have a vape taped to my microphone and call it the fog machine. So do I.

Well, we got like silly outfits and tell like really, really horrible dad jokes. You tell dad jokes in addition to the music to try and bum people out. Basically, that's what you're saying. Yeah, like in between the songs. Yeah, and if they do know the answer to the song, if they can figure it out, they get some candy.

Okay. If they figure out the answer to the joke, you mean? If they figure out the answer to the dad joke, then they get some candy. Wow, that's it. If you're giving so many mixed messages, you're telling terrible jokes, but if they get the jokes and they get some candy,

but you want them to cringe. You want them to be unhappy. This is a real overlap of her child psychology and death mode. It's all happening at the same time. Do you have an example of one of those jokes? Yeah. There's not many that translate into English.

I can think of one though. You know, these type of jokes are very typical. It's very typical for like the German areas. They're called anti-Witze or anti-jokes. For example, what is green and looks through the keyhole? It's spinach. What? Spinach. What? Yeah. Spynatch. That's great.

Okay, you've driven me from the podcast. I will leave and never come back now. Hey, so, I'm just... Katarina, you do the vocals. Are you the vocalist for Cringe Blizzard? Now, is there a lot of... Is it a lot of yelling? Is it screaming? Can you give a lot of yelling?

Is it screaming? Can you give me examples of that? Well, I don't want to wreck your headphones. Go for it. But yeah, it's a lot of groaning and screaming and it's fine. Also, I didn't warm up my voice. I see. You don't want to hurt yourself.

Do you think you could teach me to do this? Do you think I could be maybe a guest vocalist for Cringe Blizzard? Fucking hell yeah. You think so? But what would I have to do? I mean like, that kind of thing. I mean these are some of the sounds I can make. Abashaha.

None of that is metal. None of it is metal. Well I mean dad jokes? None of it is metal. Well, I mean, we can sample it and work it into the song anyway. I mean, the technique is actually pretty similar to opera singing. It is coming down from the diaphragm. You try to not hurt your voice and push all the air

from the diaphragm. Can you coach him? Can you teach him? Yeah, teach me how to do it. Right now? Yeah. There's no bet. I mean, come on. You're my coach now.

You are the lead singer for Cringe Blizzard. You're drinking heavily and this is your chance to teach me how to be a metal vocalist. Yeah, this is Jin. Okay. The easiest way to start out for the basic of the growl is breathing deep from your diaphragm, which means you breathe into your belly, which extends and your shoulders stay down. So if you breathe in, your belly extends, your shoulders stay low, right?

And if you breathe out slowly, in a very controlled way. Stop making sounds, stop doing that. You feel your throat relaxing usually, right? Why are you making those sounds? Just get off my ass. I'm trying to learn. I'm talking to someone in Austria who's teaching me for the first time in my life to do, you know, cringe metal and you're just on my dick the whole time. Sorry.

Okay, go ahead, Katarina. Well, actually, okay. Well, and then in the next step, actually, I've listened to your podcast episode from last week where you talked about like odd breathing exercises. And this is actually already pretty close to the basic of a growl. Yeah. You try to like breathe out heavily relaxed with your voice resonating with it. This is actually, this is like the basis of it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh Oh, what is this? It's hard for me to imagine that because there's like nine people between me and my wife

and they handle these things. I haven't touched a dish in 15 years. But anyway, I'll pretend to be exasperated. Oh, why didn't one of the nine people who are supposed to take care of this do it. Why? Why? That's not bad, right?

Yeah, that's not bad. Yeah, that's a good start. Why? Do you think that I'm a good person? I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so.

I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so.

I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. Do you think that I would be good at embodying cringe metal? I was hoping you asked that question because I do think we can get with new lows with your assistance. What do you mean? You think I can bring you to new lows? That's a good thing in the whole world. Yeah, we don't want You think I can bring you to new lows? That's a good thing in the world. Yeah, we don't wanna have heights,

we wanna have lows, right? So wait a minute. Why do you think I would work with Cringe Blizzard? Because it's fun. Okay. Are you implying that- And you get candy. Yeah.

Okay, well, now you sound like a guy outside a van. 1978. It's fun and you'll get candy. Well, that didn't work out too well. They caught him. Anyway, my point is, Katarina, what is, so you think that I would get, I kind of would embody the essence of cringe blizzard, you think? I could do that. I think you could definitely do that.

I mean, you've been making people uncomfortable for decades. You're a master. So he's more cringe than Blizzard. Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Katarina. That is not what I've been intending to do. Is that what you're getting? That I've been making people uncomfortable for years? Is that what you're getting from my work? No, I'm not. Yes, you are. You just said that.

I've been making people uncomfortable. You think my comedy makes people cringe. Is that what you're saying? Feel free to go for it. Maybe sometimes. Well, maybe that's what made you a fan. You know, that's the important thing. Yeah, maybe that's the reason why a fan. That's the important thing. Yeah. Maybe that's the reason why Cringe Blizzard exists in the first place.

Is that I inspired you? Did I inspire Cringe Blizzard with my cringey humor? Is that what you're saying? Well, maybe a little. Okay. Thank you. So glad we could chat. So glad we could talk. Who else is in the band with you? Who else is in this metal band? My brother and a friend of ours.

Okay. So who's playing what instruments? My brother's playing the guitar and our friend Arne, he's playing the drums. Is there a bass? No, not yet. So feel free to come over. Maybe you could play bass. Play bass with Cringe Blizzard. Yeah. Go all the way to Austria. Yeah. Do the backup vocals, play some bass.

Now, you used to watch the television show back when I was doing a TV show, is that correct? I actually discovered you on YouTube through a couple of friends of mine. And then? Yeah, I didn't, like we didn't get your show in Austria. Right. Not that I remember.

A lot of people don't get it here. Um. Um. But you, did you write into the show once, is that correct? Oh yeah, it was actually featured on a fan correction video. You were on my show? Yeah, I do believe that I was on the last fan correction video because I was procrastinating my studies and I watched a couple of your fan corrections and I was wondering if the

link still works to send in corrections, and it did. So you sent in- And it was like the- Yeah. You sent, now a fan correction was a thing that we did on the show many times that was where fans, we dared fans to find any flaw with our show,

and they would find things that we had said or done that were technically incorrect. So you sent in a fan correction? Yeah. What was correction? Yeah. What was it? Yeah, what was it? It was about you giving liquids to baby birds. Okay.

Yeah. And- I'm drawing a blank here. Yes, of course, of course. I don't know what you're talking about. I had a conversation. And you- I have a content correction.

And you have a, you found something wrong and so you sent in a correction. Yeah, you shouldn't feed liquids to baby birds. They will die from it. They cannot swallow liquids yet. This happened to me once. In many cases. I tried to nurse a baby bird.

Yeah. So you- I called you a baby bird killer. And you said you loved me. And now you don't remember me, Colin. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've had many loves in many parts of the world.

I don't remember this one fan correction, but I can look it up. But I guess we were doing something on the show and I mentioned you can nurse a bird with, maybe with liquids. You said, no, you can't. You wrote in, you tried to help me. And we aired the fan correction.

Yeah, you did. That's great, because we would get many submissions, but only a few would be aired. So what a high honor for you. This is a fucking crazy coincidence. Except I have something here in my notes that she was supposed to get a t-shirt and she never got a t-shirt.

Yeah, that's true. Wait, what happened? Tell me what happened. Well, when I send in the fan correction, it said that people who get featured on the show will get the Team Coco t-shirt, and I never received one. You didn't get your t-shirt? No, I didn't. You also called me out by the wrong name on the show. What did I call you on the show?

Katerina? No, you called me Katarzyna Radziwanowska, which is my Polish name, which I used for social media, but not my actual name, which I used for social media, but not my actual name that I used to fill out the form. Oh, I'm so sorry that I used the Polish name that you used when you wrote in. How is that my fault? And now you're mad that you didn't get your T-shirt?

Do you think I'm in charge of sending the T-shirts out? She was going to be just a folk musician until that happened, and then she turned cringe-decent. Yeah. I'm sorry you did not get your t-shirt, but you have to understand that I am at the top of a very large pyramid. Do you understand? I am high atop a mountain,

and then there's millions of people that work for me. And they let you down, not me. Do you understand? Oh man. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. No, right now you're... Where does the buck stop?

What I'm saying is you're calling up Tim Cook and saying my iPhone jammed. That's unfair to him. Oh no. Do you know what I mean? Don't let some poor random guy suffer for me. No, no, no. I'm going to find out who didn't sell you that T-shirt. They probably don't work for me anymore. No. Do you know what I mean? Don't let some poor random guy suffer for me. No, no, no, I'm gonna find out who didn't sell you that T-shirt. They probably don't work for me anymore.

No, no, no. Yeah, I'm gonna find them. No, spare them. I'm gonna have them murdered. Wow, I'm sorry you didn't get your T-shirt. We'll find you a T-shirt and I will get it to you somehow, okay, because I wanna right this wrong. You should get your T-shirt.

Sounds great. Thanks a lot. Yeah, and you can wear it. You seem thrilled. You seem finally- So full. Finally, this void in your life has been filled. Well, I'm sorry that that happened.

This is so nice. Yeah. This is, it's, I'm talking now to a fan who did something nice and wrote in and helped our show a bunch of years ago and never got their t-shirt. And that probably is that, was that disappointment, is that what drove you to start getting into heavy metal

and then cringe blizzard? And slush metal? Yeah, yeah. And especially the slush metal. There was no other way to release my anger and disappointment. Yeah, okay, yeah. And especially the Slush medal. There was no other way to release my anger and disappointment. Yeah, okay, I understand. Well, you know what?

I've never been to Austria. Do you think I'd like Austria? I think you'd love it. I mean, you do like skiing, right? Yeah, I like skiing. And riding bikes. So yeah, our region is renowned for their skiing areas and their biking trails and all.

I like riding bikes. I like skiing, yeah. How's the food? How's the food in Austria? What will I be eating? Very savory. Like you will drown in cheese. Mmm.

Okay. Wow. Like the Midwest. That's the nicest thing. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You're going to Austria for some cheese curds. I could just go to Wisconsin.

I can ride a bike there and drown in cheese. No, no, no, no. It's not the same. Okay, well did you have a question for me, Katharina, lead singer of Cringe Blizzard, and disappointed fan who never got her t-shirt? Do you have a question? What was that other name you just said? The Artifice. It'sdifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice.

The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice.

The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice.

The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. The Ardifice. No. Are you sure? I'm having a hard time to formulate a sentence that makes sense.

This interaction with me really means a lot to you, doesn't it? You just spaced out and started thinking about lunch. No, I do know that you've also had like your fair share of like struggles in your life and in the career. You got this talk show when you were fairly young, you were just 30 years old and didn't have a whole lot of experience and I was wondering what helped you to stand up for yourself when you faced criticism, to go through, to stand by yourself and still know the work I'm doing is great and I'm going to keep going?

Well, that's a really good question. To be honest with you, there were many, many moments of true despair. I cannot lie to you. And now I want to drink while you're drinking. But I think a lot of us just push ahead because we don't know what other option there is. And so I think ultimately for me, my desire to do this was stronger

than other people's desire for me not to do it. And over time that won out. But it felt like it. And over time that won out. But it felt like it took a long time to get people to catch on to my sense of humor and like it. So I'm very glad and I'm very lucky that I managed to get to keep doing it because there were times there when I thought

this is gonna be over and then I'll just have to do something else for living. But I was very fortunate that it worked out. So I can't lie and say, oh, just believe in yourself and keep going because sometimes it gets pretty dark. But I'm talking to the lead singer for Cringe Blizzard. So I think you would understand.

But the big reward is getting to talk to people like you who are really cool and really smart. I cannot believe how well educated you are. You're just, it seems like a- I mean, you don't. No, isn't it? It's incredible. You've had this incredible education.

You're doing this great work. I cannot believe how educated you are. She is. She has, I think that's a compliment. I know, I know. She's, I think that's a compliment. I know, I know. You've got like a pH, I mean, Anna, do you think you could psychologically help me? Many people think I have,

I know you treat adolescents. What's there to fix? What's there to be fixed? You're perfect. Oh, oh boy, oh girl, oh ho! Oh ho ho ho! All right, take it easy everybody. I think your guttural noises are better than mine. Yeah, I know.

You guys should start your own metal band. Well, Katarina, it was so cool talking to you. I like you. Yeah, it was nice meeting you. Yeah, it was really nice meeting you, and best of luck with the band. And please give my best to your bandmates. Do you get them, are they familiar with some of my work?

Do you get them, have they watched any of your videos? It's just. I don't know actually. Do you like me? Do you watch my videos? No, I'm saying that for a reason. Will you tell them about me? I wanted her to say no.

I mean, I don't think that they are very familiar with your work. I mean, my brother might know a video or two because of me, but our drummer probably doesn't know a whole lot, except for the pompadour. Then I pity them. I have great pity for them. Me too. Yeah. What terrible lives they lead. Well, really nice talking to you Katarina. Yeah, it was great meeting you.

Yeah, take care and have a drink and then get some sleep. Okay? Yes, I will, sir. Thank you very much. How do you say good night? Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Goodino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blayard. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples. Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts

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