Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 319. Are You A Christian?

Episode Date: June 1, 2023

😏 If you want totally ad/commercial free, uncensored/extended episodes 1 day early +1 entire bonus episode per month, exclusive merch + Discord & exclusive content over on Patreon: patreon.com/chri...sdelia This week Chris talks about actor Lee Pace, potty training his son, Lee Pace, Dylan Mulvaney, and Lee Pace some more. Lee Pace is pretty great huh?  Spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Instagram and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.  📸 Instagram: instagram.com/chrisdelia 🕺 TikTok: tiktok.com/@chrisdelia 🎮 Twitch: twitch.tv/flexavenue 🐥 Twitter: twitter.com/chrisdelia 👤 Facebook: facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 runk tucson arizona tucson arizona you're up next tucson arizona and then i got some dates in colorado and charlotte oh and i just added uh las vegas to my website so go check that out i'm gonna be doing uh some las vegas dates uh they're up now And then also Nashville Coming up Little Rock, Montreal Anyway, so go to chrislea.com And
Starting point is 00:00:32 Check out my tour tickets I'll be in Cleveland And without further ado This is the new episode of Congratulations congratulations. And so I am off and running. You know, it is Memorial Day today and we don't stop just because it's a holiday and people don't work on holidays doesn't mean that we don't work on holidays. Doesn't mean that I don't work hard as on holidays. We've got to bleep that out. on holidays. Doesn't mean that I don't work hard as **** on holidays. We got to bleep that out. Too early to do a swear word. We got to work hard. We work hard, dude. I sit here and I talk for an hour and there's people out there doing stuff like making buildings and manual labor,
Starting point is 00:01:17 but they're not sitting here talking for an hour. So talk about hard labor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. It's all good. People get me mad at that even though it's a joke, but it's fine. It is Memorial Day and I'll tell you what, my ears are clogged. Yes, dude. My ears are clogged and am I sick? No, but why are my ears clogged? I have no idea. Dude, I'm not sick. My ears are clogged. My ears have been clogged for three days. And that is just perfect. And I'll tell you, I blew my nose right before the show right now. Made it worse. Dude, yes, it made it worse. So now I can hear anything.
Starting point is 00:01:55 But it's all good. I don't need to hear anything because I can. It's just me, right? It's just me talking. I am. It's been gloomy, right? Little weather report here. It's been gloomy. Little weather report here it's been gloomy By the way speaking of report go check out the tour reports
Starting point is 00:02:09 Man the last few have been just Absolutely banging the Cincinnati One particularly on my other channel My Chris Lea channel on YouTube And while you're at it Leave a comment dude you're listening Leave a comment right now dude and get the algorithm Pumping make sure you're
Starting point is 00:02:24 You're signed You're listening. Leave a comment right now, dude, and get the algorithm pumping. Make sure you're subscribed to Super Good Studios. Yeah, man, it's been gloomy and it's been... Dude, the weather affects me, man. The weather affects me. What's going on with this, man? I pay premium rent. I mean, I don't pay rent. I pay mortgage. But I pay a lot to live here. I do, you know, the L.A. tax. I do the California tax. I pay a lot to live here. So sup? So sup with the grayness? I don't like that. I don't like the grayness. I pay here to live.
Starting point is 00:02:57 The best part about this place, the weather. Now, was it the vibe three years ago before COVID? Yes. And now is it way different after COVID? Yes. So what's the greatest reason to live here? Because of the weather. And then we don't even have it right now at this point. We're creeping on a come up on June here, right? So let's get it only sunny every single day. I don't like the grayness. I don't like the clouds. Clouds, get out of here. I don't even know how people do it. How do people live in Detroit? Ah, get out of here. I'll be there soon, chrislead.com. How do people do it? I only want to live in a place where it's sunny every day every single day i need to move to i don't
Starting point is 00:03:45 know where i need to move to where where's it sunny every single day florida but then they got the storms and the hurricanes and so it's like all right i guess we settle on what we do we come here we pay high taxes for california and then guess what the grayness it encapsulates us all it envelops us all so okay so then i guess we're just going to be sitting here in the grayness and that's not, that's not good. That's not good. But, um, you know, I just don't, I don't know, but it's been okay. I've been kind of hanging out. I haven't really done many shows. I did, you know, last time I was on the road, I did a Salt Lake, which I just keep going back to. That was a really special show. And, uh, but I've Salt Lake, which I just keep going back to. That was a really special show.
Starting point is 00:04:26 But I've been hanging out. I've been with my family. William's getting chunky. How about that, man? William's getting chunky? My second born getting chunky? I watch that show, Silo. Forget it, dude.
Starting point is 00:04:39 It's so good. I don't like shows that are all the same color and there's so much brown in it. But, dude, that show's so good. And that woman, Rebecca Ferguson, dude, she's killer. I love her. I love Rebecca Ferguson. I don't like the name Ferguson, but I love – I don't really like the name Rebecca either because I don't like the name at all, honestly. Rebecca Ferguson is a bad name, especially because Rebecca is a bad name because you can also, the nickname for it is even worse, Becky.
Starting point is 00:05:06 So, Becca, bad too. So, she's all over the place with the name, but dude, she's awesome. She's very beautiful and she's a very good actress, dude. And I guess she's in Mission Impossible. Had no idea. But this show, Silo on Apple TV, dude, set it and forget it. It's so good.
Starting point is 00:05:22 I love it. And I know I said it last episode, but I love it, dude. I think I said it on the Patreon episode, actually. Go to patreon.com slash chrislea. Sign up for the extra Patreon episode every month. We have about 30. Yeah, dude. It's such a good show.
Starting point is 00:05:36 And I watched it. And guess what I did? I like this show so much that guess what he did? No, don't tell him. No, tell him. Come on. No, don't tell him. Guess what he did even though he watched the show?
Starting point is 00:05:45 Oh, what did he do? Dude, he went into the suggested shows after that. What? You may also like, what? He didn't know. No, wait. And he perused it? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Is that all he did? No, no, no. Dude, he clicked on one. What? Oh, he clicked on one. He started watching it. Dude, he took Apple TV suggestions. He did?
Starting point is 00:05:59 What? Get out of here. Dude, he did. Me, I did. And I clicked on the show Foundation. Oh, forget it, dude. i clicked on the show foundation oh forget it dude i clicked on the show foundation how come they can make shows that i didn't even know existed for three years what dude nobody knows any of the shows anymore i swear to god dude i saw a billboard i was driving down sunset boulevard i was driving i saw a billboard for um um uh uh stranger Things and it said
Starting point is 00:06:25 we'll go down in history one of the quotes, we'll go down in history as one of the greatest shows of all time. And I was just like dude, hey, let's not act like people are going to forget about that show once it gets off the air. Right? That show is
Starting point is 00:06:42 I'm not saying good or bad. i watched the first season i'm and i'm like k you know that's what i do i watch that show i go like this k everyone flips out about it i go like this k i know the actors in there are good i know they do good jobs the story whatever but i'm just like k when i watch that show, okay? But how can a show be on? They're doing a season two, so it's not that much of Foundation, but how did I not know about it? I clicked on the trailer of the show Foundation, Apple TV, and I go like this. I go like this, okay. Now, you know I side-eye it, right? Because every TV show is trash pretty much nowadays. And every movie is even more trash.
Starting point is 00:07:27 But I don't really watch the movies. I watch the TV shows. And sometimes I watch the movies for fun. And, you know, for shits and giggles as jokes, right? Because there's really no good movies. So I watch the trailer to The Foundation and I go, oh, I'm in. I'm in. Why?
Starting point is 00:07:42 Two things. Two reasons why I'm in. First of all, there's in. I'm in. Why? Two things. Two reasons why I'm in. First of all, there's one actor I recognize, and this isn't one of the reasons why I'm in, but I got to talk about this first. How are you making a show with the guy,
Starting point is 00:07:55 the only person I recognize in the whole show with a crazy ensemble? I mean, this ensemble is so insane. It's about a dystopian... Let me ask you a question. How come? What's up with shows about the future? I would say 95% of the shows about the future.
Starting point is 00:08:19 The tech, the technology is off the charts, right? They can do – they got like hover cars and like – wow. I'm going on so many – I got so many tentacles here. I want to go back to hover cars. Remind me about hover cars. But so why are there so many shows about the future? I'm talking about 95% of the shows about the future. Where the technology's off the charts, just crazy ridiculous, but still,
Starting point is 00:08:51 everyone's fucking dirty. Like, dude, you could just walk into a room and think, lights on, the lights go, boom, welcome, Bartholomew,
Starting point is 00:09:04 because for some reason in 30 years everyone's got weird fucking names right welcome brother dave you know and you walk in and you go you think lights on but still you walk in you got shit stains all over your face you're dressed in rags you look like kanye was just got in fight with a cheetah like dude make the fucking clothing biotech make the you know what i mean make the clothing this shit too i got the incels barking because someone's showing up the dogs are barking but like why the fuck are the shows so bonkers rad and it's like every people like can literally see their shopping list their grocery list on their eyeball in the inside of their eyeball they just go oh
Starting point is 00:09:52 well we got to go to the grocery store let's check out what the what we need let's look at the list i wrote and they just go and then they go i want that i want that i want that and then it just shows up through a shoot from the grocery store in the kitchen island. All of a sudden, you got a jar of mayonnaise and some Triscuits, but they're still dirty as shit, dude. And they live underground. They figure all of it out. That's what I don't like about these dirty future shows.
Starting point is 00:10:19 It should all be like Demolition Man. Clean as shit, cool as fuck. They are in the tight outfits. Flying cars. Here's the other thing I don't like about the Star Wars stuff and all this show, The Foundation. Hover cars. That is such a dated thing to have on a show about the future. Dude, if there were going to be hover cars, there would already be hover cars. Hover cars are bullshit.
Starting point is 00:10:52 And let me tell you why. Okay? Because, dude, they're not even off the ground as much as you would have wheels on a car. Why do you need you don't need it if you make a flying car make the car go all the way up around everywhere the whole that shit fuck off with that i don't like that have the car either have wheels or it flies completely. That's some bitch shit.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Hover cars. Just in a dirty, I got to brush my teeth outfit. So I watched the show, the foundation, because of two reasons. All right? Now, how can you, this isn't it yet. I'm not going into the two reasons yet. How the fuck can you have a show? How?
Starting point is 00:11:51 Bro, how much money do they have? Apple, I know they obviously have a lot of money. This show's got to cost, it's got to cost $8 million an episode. Okay? There's 10 of them. Say it's $80 million. Say it's not. Split that.
Starting point is 00:12:04 $40 million. $5 million to do each of these shows it's got to cost more but let's say it costs five million dollars so 40 million dollars are spending on this dude the only act and there's so many actors in it there's there's uh this how many characters are in it. Dude, it's about the future with, in a galaxy, they're not just focused on one planet. They got like so many different planets and actors on different planets. So there's like a hundred fucking leads in this show. And just like every show nowadays, the white people are bad, right? And any, any person of color is like a hero,
Starting point is 00:12:48 no matter what. There was actually one person of color in the show that did a terrorist thing, and I was like, man, they're going to get written up by Hollywood. So, how was, the only person I recognize
Starting point is 00:13:04 is the fucking guy from Chernobylernobyl the show which is so good by the way and all that shows the same color too it's all green i guess i like shows that are all the same color even though i thought i didn't um but so i'm watching this show and i watch well i watch a trailer and i go like this am i gonna watch this and then i see yeah i'm gonna watch it for two reasons why because of the guy that's in it. He looks fucking rad as shit. And when you look that rad, I watch a show and the guy's name is Lee Pace. Okay. Now let me look him up because Lee Pace and now this guy, okay. So look, I'm watching this fucking show because of Lee Pace. I don't know who this guy is, but I watch him because he's got, he looks like a really
Starting point is 00:13:48 angular body and he looks shredded and I love it. And he looks like a guy, he's got cool long hair. He's basically like a super good looking version of me, which kind of sucks, makes me feel insecure. But dude, and I know he's tall because I can just see it and I'm like, this guy, this sucks, right? This sucks. And here's the best looking kind of guy.
Starting point is 00:14:04 see it and I'm like, this guy, this sucks, right? This sucks. And here's the best looking kind of guy. The guy that looks like he would be dope with a beard that doesn't even have a beard. This guy is so handsome that he's like, you know what? I get how I'd look with a beard. I'm actually not even going to have one. And he's clean shaven. He's so handsome that that beard looks like it's trying to come out, right? Like he's got a, it's not even a five o'clock shadow. It's like a one 30, right? Like he shaved. It's like 11, 11 AM. He's got just peeking out 11 AM that just wants to start bursting out. They go, I know five o'clock. Hey, the 11 AM hair in there is like, ah, it's five o'clock somewhere, right? Hey, there's different times on zone, aren't't they Their hair trying to come out Yeah he's handsome
Starting point is 00:14:47 Let's make him more handsome That's what we want We want to procreate So I go like this I'm going to watch his show And he's got the best outfit in the whole show It's super blue And it's just all armor
Starting point is 00:14:58 But it's nice and still thin But he's mobile in it And it stops right here so it shows his cuts And I'm like I gotta get out to the more, which I've been doing by the way, but he's got just enough product in his hair. And I'm just like great thick eyebrows, just a good looking dude. So I'm like, I'm gonna watch it. Cause of him. Cause I don't recognize him. So like, who's this guy? He's a lead in one of the show in a show that's caused $80 million. And I'm just going to, I don't know this guy. Come on. I watch that and then there's in the trailer, there's like not dragons but like beasts in it.
Starting point is 00:15:29 So I'm like I'm all in. So those are the two reasons why I'm watching this show when I watch a show. And I'm watching this show. This guy Lee Pace. Now I'm spending way too much time talking about this show Foundation on Apple TV. But it doesn't matter, dude, because this is where you come for the hard-hitting facts. Because this is where you come for the hard-hitting facts. How congratulations podcast is it of this show to talk about for 10 minutes a show that's been on for two seasons already?
Starting point is 00:15:52 Not even good to talk about it. But that's what we do. And the cult's with me, my babies. So I'm watching this show and I find this show is fine. It's very hard to understand because they just – it's so mathematical. It's about – sounds so like something I would try to like write when I was 15. But like it's about a scientist. They call it like psycho-math history, or something, anyway, you can predict what happens in the future with
Starting point is 00:16:28 large populations because of math, which is fucking stupid, honestly, but I'm watching the show, and so, I find, it's very hard to understand, like, they start talking in all sorts of jargon, it's almost like, make it a little bit simpler. I'm a dumb, I'm a dumb, dumb. So let's get it going. So I'm watching this shit and I find myself watching the show. And every time this Lee Pace guy comes on, I go like this. Yeah, all right.
Starting point is 00:16:57 You know, I get a little in my feelings about it. Just watching the show, by the way, by myself, just watching the show, trying to understand the show and like the show. But also this guy's, he's got, he's got it going on too much. So I'm like, okay, so I watch another episode and I'm just struck with how good looking this guy is. And also he's a good actor and also he's British. So I'm like, all right, I got to look this guy up. Fuck. It's got to happen. I got to look the guy up. So I look at who's on the show.
Starting point is 00:17:27 I see his name is Lee Pace. And I'm like, that name is kind of cool. Kinda. So I'm like, fuck. The guy's cool. He's got a cool name. So I go to his Instagram. I look at his Instagram.
Starting point is 00:17:42 He's got, you know, not a million followers, but a lot. I find out, okay, he was like one of the fucking elves that nobody knew about in Lord of the Rings or whatever the fuck. I don't know if it was Lord of the Rings or, yeah, it was Lord of the Rings. And I'm like, all right, okay, so he's got some cool roles. And I'm looking through his Instagram. I'm like, this motherfucker has a great body. So now I'm getting more pissed off. You can tell he's big.
Starting point is 00:18:05 So now I'm like, ah, fuck, and I see how he looks with a beard, so I'm like, this guy, he's really, really, he's working my last nerve, all right, but I'm on his side, though, he's just, it's unfair with how good looking I think this dude is, and I'm like, I wonder if Kristen would fucking probably like this guy.
Starting point is 00:18:26 I go, if he has a beard, he'd probably fucking be all in, right? And then I Google him. And he pops up. And I'm like looking at certain pictures. And I know that probably people are going to be upset that I say this. But sometimes you can look at pictures of people and you're like, just by the picture, you're like, is he gay? And then I Google, is Lee Pace gay? Dude, he tied the knot with his husband last year.
Starting point is 00:19:12 pace gay dude he tied the knot with his husband last year so i go like this wow and immediately i don't feel threatened anymore now how fucked up how fucked up am i i'm just watching a show by the way i'm married he's i don't know i made this guy up in my head practically but i'm watching him and uh now i'm like oh i love it i love that he's gay because even I don't have to worry about the shit anymore. And I already don't. By the way, this is the motherfucker that deserves an Emmy for this shit. Dude, he's American. He's playing British. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:01 First of all, I don't know he's not British on the show The Foundation. Second of all, I don't know he's not British on the show The Foundation. Second of all, I don't know he's gay. Bro, this dude is killer. How do I not know two things about you? This guy should work for the fucking CIA. My favorite actor, Skyrocket. Lee Pace Stan, dude. Anyway, I got to watch the Lord of the Rings shows now because of him. Guy's good, dude. I just want to smell his breath, you know? It's got to be great. Talking entirely too much about this show and him. Obviously,
Starting point is 00:20:42 somebody send this to him, let him know I'm a fucking hugely Pace fan. God, if he was straight, imagine. But dude, good for him, man. Good for him, you know? Good for him. God, the guy's just so comfortable in his skin, huh? That's the thing, dude. You got to be comfortable in your skin. Fuck. You got to be comfortable in your skin. Anyway, the show's fine fine it's too confusing for me and i spent way too much time talking about it but this is the hard-hitting facts here dude speaking about going working out dude because the guy's got a great body that's one of the reasons why i thought he was gay too if somebody's super fit and that could look and i'm like oh are they gay because you know gay guys like to have be really fit or really fat, right? There's no in-between gay dudes, really.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Like I saw a gay dude the other day walking around, and I knew he was gay because of the way he was walking, right? He was bigger, but also sometimes gay guys with big stomachs walk proud about it with the tummy out, you know? Like they walk into a fucking store, and the tummy gets there like.0001 seconds before them. I know that's kind of true for all of us, but this guy's tummy got in a little bit earlier
Starting point is 00:21:51 than my tummy would even get in, right? And he had a midriff, whatever they call it, crop top. I don't know what they call it, but his tummy was just out. And it's like, okay, we get that you're proud and you're working it, but also get a longer shirt or lose weight, you know? Right? Like, don't be both.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Don't be that big and then also have a crop top, right? Because then I got to be like, oh, fuck. Now I'm thinking about it. You're infringing on my thoughts. So there's two types of gay guys, the real fat ones that, like, own it and then the fucking super fit ones. there's two types of gay guys, the real fat ones that like own it. And then the fucking super fit ones. Um,
Starting point is 00:22:27 so I go, I, now I go to the gym and I go to the gym and you know that, right? Because speaking of Lord of the Rings, they need to fucking shoot the prequel TV show on my back. Right. And,
Starting point is 00:22:40 um, I did deadlifts. Uh, I've been using the hex bar, but dude, And I did deadlifts. I've been using the hex bar, but dude, I started doing the traditional Olympic bar or whatever the fuck they call it. And boy, oh boy, am I sore, you know? And so that's about it. That's about it about that. But yeah, I'm trying to get that Lee Pace body. I wonder how tall he is.
Starting point is 00:23:01 How tall is Lee? I gotta look it up. How tall? I gotta look it up because of my, not because of my OCD, but honestly, I want to tall he is. How tall is Lee? I gotta look it up. How tall? I gotta look it up because of my, not because of my OCD, but honestly, I wanna look it up. Lee Pace height.
Starting point is 00:23:13 You, you gotta be shit, you gotta be shitting me, dude. He's 6'5". You gotta be, this guy is the best looking guy I've ever seen in my life. Honestly, he's 6... I wish he wasn't gay.
Starting point is 00:23:31 I wish he was out there just destroying. Hey, babe! You probably like a guy named Lee Pace! Come in here for a sec. You like a guy probably. You could stay there, but you like a guy probably. I'm watching this new show on Apple TV, and there's a guy on it, and you like him. Well, but I don't know if you're going to be on camera.
Starting point is 00:24:04 It's okay if you are, but... Look. Oh, yeah. Well, I liked him, just the face. You liked the face? Yeah, and the 6'5 just takes it. All right. Okay, well, he's gay.
Starting point is 00:24:20 I know. You can't have him. No, he's not. He's gay, and it's beautiful. Look at his husband, Matthew Foley. Oh. All the good ones are gay. Well, okay.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Not all the good ones, but. It's like you're straight as an arrow. Yeah. Look at him. Look at Calvi. Hi, Calvin. Look at him. Look at him, Calvin.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Is that his husband? That's his husband, who's also cool. Yeah. So cool. All right. Anyway. That could have been your father, Calvin. So he's so good looking, dude.
Starting point is 00:24:49 And he works out. He works out, babe. He's so good looking. Look him up with a beard. The whole fucking podcast about this guy. The whole fucking podcast about this guy. On my fucking notes, I have... I barely ever take notes.
Starting point is 00:25:20 On my notes, I have handsome foundation guy. Speaking of Lord of the Rings, they did, is Aragon from Lord of the Rings? He's black now. Did you know that? They made him black for the Magic the Gathering cards. By the way,
Starting point is 00:25:32 you can have just Lord of the Rings guys on Magic the Gathering? I don't know, dude. That's what it said. They made Aragon black and they're up in arms about it. Wasn't it Viggo Mortensen
Starting point is 00:25:41 who played him? Yeah, and now he's black, so the internet's going like, is this okay? Would J.R.R. Tolkien wanted that? Is that the guy who did it? J.R.R. Tolkien? Tolkien? Right, it's him, right?
Starting point is 00:25:58 J.R.R. Tolkien. so that guy is black and I wonder what J.R.K. Rowlings would have done Tolkien would have done because that's fine with me I don't give a shit he's an elf or whatever the fuck make him I don't give a shit
Starting point is 00:26:18 make him have a penis on their head I don't care they're fucking elves they don't know is Aragorn an elf what is Aragorn the king of many elves of men oh so he's a guy a penis on their head. I don't care. They're fucking elves. They don't, you know. Is Aragorn an elf? What is Aragorn? The king of many elves? Of men. Oh, so he's a guy. Oh, he's a guy. Okay. Oh, he still doesn't exist because it's Lord of the Rings, so I don't give a fuck. Make Batman green.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Just don't make fucking the Shonda Rhimes show, Woman is Black, you know. She was in history, a white person. But I don't care. It's Netflix, dude. They're going to have a fucking paraplegically daredevil soon.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Uh, just blind and also in a wheelchair. Can't move. Stop, evildoer. The guy's like, no, and just fucking jumps away. He says, ah, fuck, I don't even know. I can't see or do shit, really. And just blow into the shit. So, yeah, Aragon's black, so that's what's up.
Starting point is 00:27:17 They painted him real nice, too, like super handsome. They painted him real nice, and it's dope. And I'm like, dude, they're painting them too real. Like they don't actually exist, you know? I don't like when they paint people that don't exist too real. Whoa, I'm fucking crazy, bro. Because like make them a little bit more cartoony. They don't actually exist.
Starting point is 00:27:42 You're going to paint them all real? Dude, just paint a guy, because here's the thing, one day somebody's going to fuck up, paint a fake guy so real, that you're going to actually, by mistake, paint a real guy, and then that guy's going to see it, they're going to be like, you painted me, and you're going to get fucking sued, that's my likeness, right, black guy who's Aragon, who in real life looks like Aragon, but I'm like, I want money from that, Magic the Gathering, pay me, why is Magic the Gathering in Gathering having Lord of the Rings people in it? Too many crossovers, right?
Starting point is 00:28:08 Won't be happy until Anne Frank's in X-Men. Anne Frank, let's go fucking save the world. I can't. I can't. I got to stay up here. I don't like how Apple TV and Paramount Plus... They come out with shows. They don't just drop them like Netflix does.
Starting point is 00:28:30 They fucking drop them. They drop like three and you get hooked on them. And I know this is by design. They try to do it. And then they fucking release it every week. And I'm like, why do they do that? And then somebody said to me, they do it to keep you watching, to keep you fucking subscribed.
Starting point is 00:28:41 And I'm like, oh, fuck yeah, that's right. That annoys me. That makes me want to unsubscribe. I got my Pure Spectrum gummies, CBD. You can go to the Pure Spectrum thing. What is it? Let's see what it is. Pure Spectrum.
Starting point is 00:29:06 The CBDs. CBD. I go here. Pure Spectrum. CBD.com. There it is. And you can click and you can get like
Starting point is 00:29:19 a big percent off by typing in congrats. Congratulations. Or congrats. Congratulations. Or congrats? Congrats. You get 15% off on all your CBD stuff. I'm going to take it right now.
Starting point is 00:29:32 I love it. All right, take the gummies. Pure Spectrum. CBD is good. Oh. That was loud. So anyway, I'm chilling. CBD is good. Oh. That was loud. Um. So anyway.
Starting point is 00:29:49 I'm chilling. Ugh. I guess. Hold on. This is what I wanted to watch. Dylan Mulvaney. Likes. women now? This guy...
Starting point is 00:30:11 Is he... I'm starting to get to like... Is he trolling us? Is he just trying to make some money off the shit? I don't know, man. I want to watch this. Oh my god, I have never felt so alive.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I haven't really talked to you about this, but I have been followed on and off for the past two months, and usually I just try to pretend it's not happening, but today it really bugged me, and I was just going to get my laser hair removal, and I was in the office, and I walked out, and I was like I'm gonna lose them and so I turned full-on fast and furious Tokyo Drift and I'm like racing like down alleyways and like I felt like Liam Neeson and like taken and I did it i lost them it was so exciting but now i do think i might be addicted to drag racing and not the rupaul kind um but it's also just funny because i think you know
Starting point is 00:31:12 they were trying to get a picture of me looking not great but i feel great and i'm just gonna post post what Post what? Post what? It's on here, so, you know, posting it for free. Alright, happy weekend. I love you. Protect your peace. I mean, that was fine. These people in the thing, please get security if you can.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Yeah, but also, you know, stay safe out there, you know. People are fucking... crazy. And I don't want you to die. So... Let's chill. But yeah, apparently,
Starting point is 00:32:01 the internet is up in arms because Dylan is saying that they're like women now or something. like how how long until she's just like he she i don't know you know i i don't want to fucking mulvaney how long until dylan it wait what the fuck come on is just gonna be like oh i have to sign in, dude? I don't have Twitter. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Maybe I can do it on my phone. Dude, Lonzo Ball, you know? Lonzo Ball is... Lonzo Ball sounds like... Oh, here it is. Lonzo Ball sounds like fucking a game that would come out in the 90s that kids would play with. Hey, guys, it's Lonzo Ball. Right?
Starting point is 00:33:20 Hey, guys, it's Lonzo Ball. You and your friends up to eight can play. Grab a ball and wait until the robot's Lonzo Ball You and your friends, up to eight can play Grab a ball and wait until The robot yells Lonzo Lonzo Ball And the robot, Lonzo Lonzo Ball from Mattel Grab eight of your friends
Starting point is 00:33:36 It's Lonzo Ball Yeah, here it is I may be a little bit Romantically interested in women And that was a big shock for them Yeah, here it is. She would be getting me. So I recently told my parents that I may be a little bit. That's the end of it? Well, that's the end of what I see right here. My parents that I may be a little non-bi. Well, I would love to see you get a woman pregnant.
Starting point is 00:34:17 And I said, oh, no, no, no. She would be getting me. Well, that's the end of that. How does that happen? I think that this person is just fucking with us, huh? You know what I mean? Because it's like, I don't know. If the woman got him pregnant or her pregnant, I don't even know anymore.
Starting point is 00:34:37 But if that person, Dylan, got pregnant, then I'm in. Dude, just do it. Get pregnant, person. And that's great, get pregnant, I want it, I want it to be like, I won't be happy to like, remember that show, the movie Junior, was that what it was, where Arnold Schwarzenegger got pregnant, where like Danny DeVito nutted in his asshole, and then he got a, well, I don't fucking remember how it goes, that's twins, but yeah, schwarzenegger got nutted in but his butt got nutted in and then it fucking had a kid um yeah uh the thing is some here's the and i made a clip on there was a clip that
Starting point is 00:35:18 went viral that i was talking about how i think this this dilemma of any person is not all mentally sound. And not because they claim to be trans, but because of how you can tell when someone's crazy just by looking at them and even hearing them, really. And I was saying this, and then here's another red flag on if somebody is not well. They are constantly changing their identity, which is that person is doing that. This is why a lot of actors are crazy. Actors will be like super into jujitsu and then yoga and then matcha. They'll eat vegan and then they'll be on a carnivore diet.
Starting point is 00:35:58 Charlie Hunnam probably does that shit and he's fucking batshit crazy probably. I don't know if he does that. But I'm just saying. Like these people who constantly change their identity are fucking insane. That's it. And I don't know. I don't give a fuck trans. Not. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Be. Whatever. I don't give a shit. I'm just saying that person sounds like a loon. Not because they're trans. Because they sound like a loon. So yeah. not because they're trans because they sound like a loon. Um, so yeah, I don't know. I guess you can be trans and like women. If you were born a guy,
Starting point is 00:36:43 it's just all sorts of weird. Also, what about women, dude? Women are like, man, I've been a woman all my life and it's fucking hard and I got to deal with this shit and get periods and all that. Now you're just going to come along and be the best woman of all time? Like remember when Caitlyn Jenner was on the cover of the thing, Women of the Year? It's like, dude, if I was a woman, I'd be so fucking mad. Then again, who gave a woman of the year time or who gives a shit? You know? Honestly, who gives a shit about anything? Is what it is.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Here's another thing about... Look at this. This is the best. I've seen this too. About this guy. This guy is best. I've seen this too. About this guy. This guy is so, so, so funny.
Starting point is 00:37:29 He's also probably trolling. I don't know. Maybe not, but he's so funny. Come on, dude. Internet's not good. It's that,
Starting point is 00:37:36 it's that black dude who's bald, who has a really like dyed beard. The thing when he was talking about, he was talking about it with who's the one who used to date Kanye West? That big ass girl. Amber Rose. When he was like
Starting point is 00:37:54 when she was like, I'm a slut. And she was like, it's okay to be a slut. And he was like, it's amazing that you think that way. This is great. Why won't this play? I'm pissed. Here we go. Do you regret not getting married, having no children or anything?
Starting point is 00:38:11 No. Do you regret not getting married, having children, not that you're older? Well, and I'm gay. You're gay? Yes. You don't look gay. Oh, you know. You come in all shapes and sizes, brother.
Starting point is 00:38:26 So you're gay? Oh, wow. I didn't know you were gay. I just told you. How did you become gay? One doesn't become gay. One is born that way. Does God know you're gay?
Starting point is 00:38:37 I believe so. You know? Wow, this guy. Did he make you that way? Makes you that way. That's my opinion. You think that God made you gay? I have no, you know, I don't know the, I'm not going to be presumed to.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Why would this guy go on this guy's show, you know? You know what's going to happen. Plumb the depths of the most high, but yes, I've been gay as long as I can remember. And so, have you been with men? Of course. Like sexually? Yes. Really? Yes.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Really? Yeah. Really? Dude, like this guy knows gay people exist, you know? Mind-blowing. This is mind-blowing for you? Yeah. Why is that? Because I never expected a priest and a father of Epiphany
Starting point is 00:39:27 church to be gay. That you're, sounds like you're coming from the assumption, what's look gay mean? You know, switchy and soft looking. Really? Wow. That's what you call stereotyping. Oh, but that's called, uh, that's like if I were to say to you, well, you're black, where's your fried chicken dude he just fucking I can't wait to get home to eat it really that's what you call stereotyping
Starting point is 00:39:54 that's called that's like if I were to say to you well you're black where's your fried chicken I was at the house and I can't wait to get home to eat it that's funny, bro. So, you know. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:40:08 So, do your congregation know that you're gay? Absolutely, they do. That is mind-blowing. And so, you think that God makes mistakes? This guy's unbelievable, dude. This guy really is unbelievable. That's a big question. Wow, that is a good...
Starting point is 00:40:37 You're talking about everything that is involved not only at the bottom of this universe, but whatever other universes exist. So I would say that... How do you know? I don't think actually that force that we call God makes mistakes, no. Dude, how about... This is hilarious, okay okay let me tell you why no children or anything no so this priest is gay this guy can't believe he's gay they're they're he's like i guess it
Starting point is 00:41:20 sounds like he's judgmental right you know You know, it sounds honestly just simple. But they're both talking about God. And it's like, okay, but we can go further and just not talk about this. Because probably there's no God. Do you know what I mean? Probably there's no God because of how honestly, because for real, because of the Kardashians are here
Starting point is 00:41:48 and I don't want to, that's not a, God really put them there on this planet to test me and that's an egotistical thing to say, but this guy's brain broke because of that. That's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:42:04 You know what? The guy's probably gay, right? This guy? I want to look at more videos of this guy. It's called The Fallen State, is what it is. I've seen this guy, The Fallen State, Amber Rose video. Here we go. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:42:31 And it's like, well, if going out on a date with a guy makes me a slut, then that's just what I'm going to be. I don't think going out on a date made you a slut. Uh-oh. Having sex with different men
Starting point is 00:42:42 made you a slut. What does it make you if you have sex with different men makes you a slut. What does it make you if you have sex with different women? A slut maker. A slut maker. Oh, wow. Isn't that amazing? No, it's sad. But men shouldn't do that either though. I know that a lot of women think that a man is a- He says, isn't that amazing? When, when he says it, it's fact.
Starting point is 00:43:05 You know? What does that make you a slut? You sleep with a lot of women? And then, what does that make you sleep with a lot of women? A slut maker. And she's like, oh, wow. Isn't that amazing? Honestly, that's how Calvin talks.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Hold on. That men get away with that, right? But they really don't. A man should not be having sex with different women. Oh, okay. Why not? It's not, it doesn't show respect to the woman. What if she wants it? What if she wants it?
Starting point is 00:43:33 And then he should correct her. Because a woman that wants sex with different men is out of control. But what's the difference really between a man and a woman besides the private parts, right? What's the difference, what'd you say? What's really the difference, right, besides anatomy? What are you talking about? What is the difference? We're both human, right? So if I want to have sex, I should be able to have sex. You laugh. And I shouldn't be
Starting point is 00:43:54 labeled as anything because I'm a human being. How would you define, personally define slut? How do you define it? I define it as a derogatory word that men and women use against other women to put us down for our sexuality and so you want to take the shame out of that word so that when women do these things they won't feel embarrassed by it it's not about them doing these things that's where you that's where the mistake comes in right so this guy just doesn't give a fuck okay okay right because it's really what people think about guy just doesn't give a you can be a virgin okay okay right because it's really what people think about you it doesn't matter actually what you do right so like if
Starting point is 00:44:30 you're in high school and a boy goes and makes a rumor about you that you did this that and a third it doesn't mean you actually did it it's what people think you did so now you're the school that's true so it is true regardless that's what i mean you can be called a slut and not actually be a slut it's just a derogatory word that people use to bully women to put them down for what they either think they did or what they actually did preach who is that guy? Do you even know what his name is?
Starting point is 00:45:09 Isn't that amazing? That's so funny, dude. We got to watch that part again. Isn't that amazing? No, it's sad. But many... Then that's just what I'm going to be. I don't think going out on a date made you a slut, but having sex with different men made you a slut. Well, what does it make a slut but having sex with different men
Starting point is 00:45:29 makes you make you a slut well what does it make you if you have sex with different women a slut maker a slut maker oh wow isn't that amazing no but men shouldn't do that either though it's not i know that a lot of women think that jesse lee what man is a that men get away with that right they're really dumb dude this guy savage moments are you a christian i am not you're not a christian no and how where do you put yourself as concern of religion maybe i'm multi-religious if that makes sense no dude just no is great this guy suffers no bullshit i am a person who believes in faith and goodness holistically mason i've've noticed that women today, not all, not all, but mostly liberal women, they seem to be, they pretend to be tough, but yet when you see these type of movements, they are saying that they are weak.
Starting point is 00:46:37 You know, they need laws and they accuse men. It's as though they don't know how or have the strength to say no to a man or to walk away whereas when I was growing up women were stronger and If they didn't want to do anything with you you knew you said okay fine, you know, I have a lot of friends I think You know Trump has Do you think that's tells lies, blatant lies? Do you see that the president is more transparent than any president or administration in recent history? No, absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:47:15 How is he not transparent? Well, why does he own up to the Stormy Daniels story if he's transparent? That's dumb, man. Don't go there. I mean, give me something real. That's a question. That's a personal thing. Give me something real. And it's based in truth somewhere. Why doesn't he just
Starting point is 00:47:27 own the truth of it? That's shallow. I'm not going there with you. That's shallow. Give me something real. Why is it shallow? But it speaks about his character, though. What does that have to do with the president in the White House now? How is he the light when his character is in question? How is he the light? His character is not in question.
Starting point is 00:47:43 I'm questioning his character. These are questions he hasn hasn't answered and the reason you're doing that because you are a member of the family of the children of the lie are you christian uh i believe in god yes are you a christian i believe in god are you i don't think god i don't think god intended for us to have identities that said we're specifically what he wants us to be. I don't think he wanted us to be called Christian or Jewish or Buddhist or anything. He just wants us to believe in him. Are you a Christian? I believe in God, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:18 I didn't ask that. I asked, are you a Christian? I believe in God. You're not going to answer that question? Well, I don't know what a Christian is. I grew up in Christian church, I'll tell you that. But let me ask, are you a Christian? Oh, God, dude, a dog with a bone.
Starting point is 00:48:35 No, you. I don't know if I can identify like that, because in my eyes, Christianity has done a lot of harm. Patrick, are you a Christian? because in my eyes, Christianity has done a lot of harm. Patrick, are you a Christian? I don't think so. Patrick, are you a Christian? I don't think so. You can't answer yes or no?
Starting point is 00:48:57 I'm not sure. That's for me and God to figure out once I meet God. We'll figure that out. This is insane. You realize you sound insane right now, right? No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I told you I grew up in a Christian church.
Starting point is 00:49:09 I know exactly what Christianity is. That's why I'm questioning it. How do you know what Christianity is when you don't know if you're one or not? Well, I'll tell you this. If you know what it is, if you know what Christianity is, then you would know if you're one or not. So it doesn't make sense. Then I'm not. I'll say I'm not.
Starting point is 00:49:32 You're not a Christian. Why is that so hard to say? Well, the reason I say that I'm not is because I don't think I live up to the parameters of what a really good Christian is. But you still should know if you're one or not. The answer is yes. Okay, okay. Well, he got to the bottom of it. That's amazing, dude.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Holy shit. This guy's amazing. For some reason, I think he went viral again because everyone's hitting me up saying, you got to talk about this guy. Are you a Christian? Are you a Christian? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:50:04 David, are you christian i don't know so are you david are you christian he is so fucking over every everyone just just sma saying so good uh god i would hang out with that guy um let's look at, here we go. Let's look at some, some tenders. Okay. Oh, God. A woman says to another, no, to someone, come get that ass ate respectfully mine respectfully would rather eat your ass oh sweet little man I can take care of you love and then they say I'm not sure you want to I'm a hairy man
Starting point is 00:50:58 she says I want to enter the jungle oh okay well it takes all sorts, right? It takes all sorts of all sorts. Well, enter the jungle. God, that shit just to be like, because you know there's like toilet paper in there too a little bit with real hairy dudes. Not for me. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Maybe it's how it once or twice, but I'm just saying. not for me, I'm just saying, maybe it's happened once or twice, but I'm just saying, that's sexually so, eating a dude's butt is gross, you know? That's why gay guys are so hairless, because they know they get it.
Starting point is 00:51:36 Because they're a guy, and they've eaten butts that are also hairy, and they're like, well, I'm going to do my part and just shave my, you know, wax it, whatever. This is the fucking biggest clapback of all time the guy the guy's the girl says the woman says all men are trash and that's and then and then and the guy says that's exactly why I only like women how is it so low I don't know um he got her there huh hope he got a date out of that one
Starting point is 00:52:17 pretty gangster to do that okay uh he unmatched pretty quickly okay here we go um thoughts on 69 uh overrated she says three favorite sex positions and why she says my favorite position gotta be one going on a date two holding hands because we like each other and three cuddling on the couch and pgs watching TV. Amen, sister. I love it, dude. Put him in his place.
Starting point is 00:52:47 And they're my fave because they really turn me on. Gives me butterflies and shit. And the bonus fourth I also secretly love is called meeting the parents. Wow, this guy unfriended, dude. That's good, dude. I think if a guy comes like that, that's how the woman should come. Good job. Good job, man.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Good job. What put me in my place fucking five years ago, 100%. Here we go. You might enjoy being choked, but turtles don't. Pick up your fucking trash. Oh, boy. And then he says 6'3". What does it even mean?
Starting point is 00:53:18 Turtles don't? Do you know what that means? Oh, don't litter? Wow. means oh don't litter wow i mean that's so there's so many got to do so much thinking to like people don't want to be on these apps thinking you know they just want to know if you have a good face um here we go there's another one what he says what's your favorite medieval helmet? You know, such a dork. And then she writes, all very good vintages.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Hope. But I'm afraid you run into a bit of a medieval helmets connoisseur. There is, of course, no better helmet than the 1511 horn helmet that was a gift to King Henry VIII from the Holy Roman Emperor. 511 was generally a great year for helmets, but the horn helmet is the cream of the crop. Wow, dude, just did a bit of Googling, huh? That's good, though. She obviously liked him. That's good. Or, they both love helmets.
Starting point is 00:54:11 He probably was fucking with her, and she probably was fucking with him. But if they both love helmets, dude, they found someone. Hopefully they wear a helmet when they do the horizontal mambo. Right? Because you've got to have safe sex. Alright, you guys. Thank you very much for watching the show. Talked about that show foundation and that doodly pace for so long but you know what
Starting point is 00:54:27 you got to see a little bit of Kristen and Calvin I appreciate you guys leave a comment for the algorithm we love it and stay tuned patreon.com slash Chris D'Elia for the Patreon that's it for the episode on YouTube but go check out the extra episodes
Starting point is 00:54:43 in the uncut version and that's about it thanks very much on YouTube. But go check out the extra episodes and the uncut version. And that's about it. Thanks very much. We appreciate you guys. Go get tickets at chrisley.com. And there's also that new merch out there, the Grow or Die merch, chrisley.com.
Starting point is 00:00:00 Thanks, guys. Yeah, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck

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