Congratulations with Chris D'Elia - 402. Lover of Men

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

😮 Get a shoutout on this show at holler.baby/chrisdelia 🎤 MY SPECIAL: GROW OR DIE is here: chrisdelia.com/god 😏 Wondering where the missing episodes are? they're on Patreon: patreon.com/chrisdelia - Extended episodes + 1 whole extra episode every month. Also no ads. This week we've got gay Abe Lincoln, the greatness of Scott Stapp and Creed, and Unsolved Mysteries. You're a Mag! Spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Instagram and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.  📸 Instagram: instagram.com/chrisdelia 🕺 TikTok: tiktok.com/@chrisdelia 🎮 Twitch: twitch.tv/chrisdelialive 🐥 Twitter: twitter.com/chrisdelia 👤 Facebook: facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And I believe it, dude. I think that honestly, how Trump said that they're eating dogs. Uh, by the way, is he talking about who's talking about Haitians? Right. I don't even know. Uh, this is how out of the's he talking about? Haitians, right? I don't even know. This is how out of the loop I am. But I just feel like if I was the president, or if I was running for president,

I would immediately find somebody who did one thing, one time, and use that on my platform. And I think that you can win that way. It doesn't matter. Or so you could just lie. You lie or not lie. It doesn't matter. Every so you could just lie. You lie or not lie. It doesn't matter. Every politician lies.

Yes, dude! Everyone has ever lied, ever been in office. Yes, dude! So it's all good. Talk to is a podcast. See ya. All good. And so I don't know what is really

going on in the world anymore, you know? I just don't, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't ever believe any activism. I don't ever believe any movements. I don't believe anything ever because I just think that people are doing it to gain power and also gain eyeballs on themselves a yes dude. And that's it.

Like even this actor, DeFarrow, Woon Atai, how he put the red hand over his face to make the statement at the Emmys that are, because what is it, the indigenous women are missing or something? It's like, dude, you just did that because you want it to look cool with blood on your face, okay? And that's what I feel and it's okay. And I'm not saying there aren't missing indigenous women, there are, but hey like, dude, you just did that because you want it to look cool with blood on your face. Okay. And that's what I feel. And it's okay. And I'm not saying there aren't missing indigenous women.

There are, but Hey, why don't you just go on the red carpet and talk about it. All right. And also wipe it off. Go look for them. Um, Hey, wipe it off. Go find, wipe it off. Find them.

You know, it's like, just imagine him just with the red paint and then. All right, I'm ready. I get it, I get it, dude. I know, the pictures and all that, that's what's gonna spread the word, but, you know. It's just like, I don't even believe in activism anymore. I don't believe it.

I don't believe that people don't have ulterior motives. I don't I Don't believe it. There we go. Great Great. I said it. I don't believe it. Um, I I I don't know I think that I don't I mean Should we They're eating if they're eating our pets the dogs and the cats then There's look man, I really feel bad for dogs and cats if they're getting eaten but like we eat pigs and stuff, you know We eat we eat also we chickens. I know nobody has chickens as pets really. I mean, some people do, but it's like, you're gonna stop.

What are you just gonna stop because they're cute or what? I don't know. You're gonna stop why? Because it tastes gamey? I don't know. I don't know if they do or not. I never had cat. Oh, this video is the funniest. I found this video and I think honestly I win because I found this video.

I win. This is so great. Wait again? Oh, that figures. That's what you had about it. It has to pee so bad. This is the part that I love. You're a mag. The guy... Okay, it's a liberal guy who is, now this is out of, we don't know what happened before this. We don't know. We don't know what happened before this.

So this is one of those videos where a guy looks bad. This liberal dude looks like terrible, but we don't know what happened before this. And you never know what happened before this. But what this looks like is the liberal guy, well, no, he definitely snapped and lost his mind here for a little bit. looks like is the liberal guy. Well, no, he definitely snapped and lost his mind here for a little bit.

And, uh, let's also stop pretending like there's not absolutely insane people on both sides. Now, uh, that's the whole thing in, in politics. It's like, when that happens, the other side will use that single instant to push their agenda. So I don't trust nobody. Yes. single instant to push their agenda so I don't trust nobody yes so um but this happened because it's on video and AI isn't that advanced yet and it's obviously Joe Coy you know dude it's...

Okay, let's just keep going. Don't touch me. You touch me. Walked up to him, bumped his belly into him and said... The guy said, don't touch me, and he said, you don't touch me. Oh, get away from me! You get away from me! Dude, people... You get away from me!

When people get... When the thing happens? It's one of my favorite things when the thing happens when the switch happens where you know you went too far But there's no backing up and you just have to kind of keep at that level To prove to the person that you mean what you say even though you know you don't mean it at this point Right because you know you jumped too far I'll tell you my favorite part too about it. Get away from me! You get away from me!

A musical. You get away from me! Cootie's the movie. The musical. Cootie's the musical. You are following me around! You are following me! I will call the police on you! A musical, dude! I will call the police on you a musical dude I will call the police on you I will call the police on

you you freak there's my favorite part right here he says follow me around some more now of course it's annoying if the guy is following him around and recording him and stuff like that that's awful right that's annoying if the guy is following him around and recording him and stuff like that. That's awful, right? That's annoying. You get it. You know, not that this guy should react like this period is still a loony tune But but we get it. We don't know what happened before. Before this something must have happened before this. You know, just unless you're an absolute... Look, you can be a crazy person But you're you're probably not this crazy for no reason if you're walking

But you're probably not this crazy for no reason if you're walking the dog. Eating, if you're eating the dog and you're putting it and you're walking into your apartment complex that you pay rent at, right? Maybe you're a homeless person, but this person obviously snapped for some reason. Who knows? He's still an asshole. Right? And it looks like Joe Coy. So here we go. This is my favorite part though, right here. So it's all, it's because I'm wearing a MAGA hat. It's because you're a freak and you want some action. That's my favorite part, dude.

So it's because I'm wearing a MAGA hat. And he starts the sentence so obviously not knowing where it's ending. And that, my friends, is the most mad you can be. Is starting a sentence and not knowing where it's going, it's because you're a freak and you want some action. Dude, letting the sentence dictate itself, we love it when someone gets that mad.

It's because you're a freak and you want some action. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha with this guy musical dude I fear also my other favorite are the first three seconds of the video it has to be so bad look right great again look at all that figures that's the piece so bad this is the part that I love yes nobody say this is the part that I love. What? Watching Full Metal Jacket. Dude, what is he doing? This is the part that I love.

Dude, about what? The day? An argument? Talking to someone? Walking your dog? I love it, dude. This is the part that I love. Also, Ehh, Seh, doesn't love it dude. This is the part that I love also Doesn't love it. Um, absolutely. I hate it. Absolutely abhors it and uh Wow, just great just a great great great

great uh Clip and the guy's joe coy So we figured it out. So guys, fucking nine Netflix specials and it's fine. So yeah. Oh, you're a mag. It's just wonderful.

Here's what I think. Guys who go viral like this, or not that even this guy's going that viral, uh, those are the kind of guys that should be guests on these people who have podcasts that shouldn't have podcasts. That's it. People just decide to have a podcast. You know, hey, I don't like when you can just get a job by all of a sudden getting equipment. And then you're just an entity. Eh, you're not.

Pack it up. Don't- hey, stop buying podcast equipment. Okay, so people will just- well, hey, what the fuck do you have to say? Oh, you're, oh, so all of a sudden, that's my favorite is that every podcast now is an interview podcast. Hey dude, who are you talking to and what are you talking about? I don't, you know what, dude? I didn't even watch Howard Stern.

I haven't listened to Howard Stern, I didn't listen to Howard Stern, even way back when the shit was, when it was like there were seven interviewers. Who fucking cares dude? And I've done those, I've done Dax Shepard, I've done them all, I've done, you know, I just, and every time I do them too, I'm just like who cares about what I grew up in, New Jersey You know But yeah, so Anyway, I

Just don't it's just too much you anything where you can buy It's like those comedians that can just people people who all of a sudden decide to do comedy and go to an open mic and they're like, now I'm a comedian. That's basically what's, I do the two things basically, be a comedian and a podcaster. I'm the two things that you can just decide to be the day of that you are.

Yay, dude. I have, you know what I mean? I'm doing the most bitch ass jobs. People who have podcasts and then they just keep having 300 listens for nine years. Get up! Sell the equipment! Whatever, I don't, you know, or don't. There has to be those people, I guess.

I was in, uh, uh, where was I? Peterborough, Ontario, and then also, uh, London, Ontario. London. London, dude. Ontario, London, London, dude. Hey, there's already a London. Okay. Don't have your place.

It's so annoying if you live there in Canada, you live in London. We're from, when you're not there yet, we're from London. Oh, London. No, no, no, London is another, you got to do that every time. That sucks. That utterly stinks, okay? So obviously change it, and that's fine. But I was in, Peter Borough is, I won't, you know. God, I can't believe some of these people

live in places like this. You know? Like what do you... Just like I... I got to the place on Thursday night. Woke up Friday. Went to get a coffee. You know, there was just Tim Hortons, which by the way, the Tim Hortons cold brew ain't bad, dude. It ain't bad. It puts Star, Tim Hortons is their Starbucks and I heard that that's the joke in Canada is Tim Hortons, not Starbucks and the joke is Starbucks here.

But dude, Tim Hortons put Starbucks, they beat the shit out of Starbucks, dude. You want to wear my straw? You're going to get it. That's that's Tim Hortons to Starbucks. The cold brew is good. I drank a few of them. So I went to go do that in Peterborough. And then I go like this. I drink a little bit of it. Then I got tacos from the place next door. I don't have any

Mexican food in Canada. door. Don't have any Mexican food in Canada. Period. Don't ever, don't have it. It's too far and too white. Okay? Just, just... America, okay. In the south of America,

the southern states, a lot of it. And then in the northern states you can have a restaurant or two per capita of however many people in Canada just don't even allow it the second you bring a fajita across the border they go no no no no no no no no no hey stay back it's just they shouldn't it's just gonna be bad you know hey mexican food in canada it's gonna be bad You know, hey Mexican food in Canada, it's gonna be bad. Nice to meet you Mexican food in Canada. Oh, you got clammy hands.

That's the Mexican food in Canada. So I ordered it, because it was the only place that I could go to that looked like I could get something quick. Got it, the tacos were fine. They were fine, dude. They had no business being a taco place, but it was a taco place.

Got them and it was fine. So I drank to Tim Hortons, got to tacos, not such a killer combo, went back to my hotel room and go like this. Okay I guess I'm gonna sleep all day. And I slept all day dude. Oh what a loser. And then I did the show it was great. Then I went to London and it was fine, but it was like, man, you know what I was I was in London, Ontario. I went to this place, this burger spot,

and I ate there late at night. And some dude No, actually let me start let me back the story up. It was a fine burger place. I don't know what it was called. I was with Denny and Sam, my camera guy. Denny Love, look him up, he's hilarious.

And they were playing, hey dude, do you listen to, do you guys actually, you know what, you know what, Matt, I'm upset with kind of society. Let me tell you why. They all just decide that somebody's corny and then it's like not cool to like them. Okay. When's the last time you listened to Creed? Dude, when Creed was really, really boppin', right?

Like let's look when Creed was really, like what was it, 2006, 2002? What was it? Creed Heyday. Let's just Google what's Creed Heyday. When was it like, when did that one come out? Were the guys coming out of the lake, the cover of the 99 dude.

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cause you think you would meet, you know what you immediately think of is, can you take me higher? Do the place right and we just kind of all decided that Creed was a joke of itself right and it was mostly due to Scott Stapp's hair back then but like and his tank tops right but like everyone was kind of doing that back then with the hair and tank tops all right now for the younger audience that listen to congratulations congratulations hip all across the board whatever generation it is right you listen to congratulations for the younger audience that listen to congratulations, congratulations is hip all across the board whatever generation it is, right?

You listen to congratulations. For the younger audience Creed Was basically what is it what they are now? Honestly Drake kind of you know, like everyone just kind of agreed Drake is corny now even though they bang Oh, no, no, no, you know who they are the chain smokers chain smokers are the shit Even though they bang. Oh, no, no, no, you know who they are the chain smokers chain smokers are the shit Okay, and people just nickelback right this they do this with bands Drake kind of Creed they do this with bands that they just decide that one day, you know, John Cougar Mellon camp Do you know what? It's not cool to like them anymore and they still pack it out

They still pack it out sir mix a lot. They still pack it out Sir Mix a lot. They still pack it out, right? I wonder what they're doing in classical music when they did like, oh yeah, Bach, you listen to Bach? You are a mag. But so, so I kind of just like, was like, whenever I would hear Creed, Scott Stapp follows me on Instagram, I go like this, oh that's funny yeah okay why is it funny why because everyone knows Creed as like this band that's like this silly band dude I'm mad at myself I'm mad at myself and I'm mad at society because I was tricked I was duped by society to think that Creed was corny dude Creed came on while I was

eating a burger first of all it came on Louder than the song before it okay? And it was that song It was the song higher Okay, and I go Damn, I'm eating the burger and I'm and I and I'm thinking Damn That's just like a true I'm eating the burger and I'm thinking, damn. That's like a true unadulterated damn.

Just in my head. It just flies in my head like a serious, like my senses of the burger is good, okay? I eat the burger it basically disrupts My mouth. Okay, it's good enough to disrupt my mouth Into a pleasure zone. Okay, it's not the best burger I've ever had but it's it's it's way better than fine It's way better than the tacos in Peterborough. I

Mean London and I mean the burger burger, all right. Now, hire comes on and I don't know if it was the burger and the atmosphere and the music was louder and what I had my preconceived notions of creed. I'm just hit with a pure unadulterated, unadulterated. Damn. Right. It hits me. It hits my whiteness. What do you want to call it?

And I go, we're not talking about eating burgers. I go like this, yo, you know what? This song, uh, is awesome. Huh? I say to Denny and, uh, and Sam and then's it then Denny Denzel His name is he's black. Of course his name is Denzel, but he says Oh Your white is showing and I said yeah

Yeah, yeah Sure, it is. Yeah, this song is fucking awesome And I'm eating this burger and I'm just listening to Creed and I'm just like, hold me down and I'm sick. No, that was the fucking other one. Can you take... So I'm fucking eating this burger and I'm eating it higher and higher. I'm eating it higher and higher, right? Where a blind man sees... So fucking trite. But it's so immediate, that song ends, dude. That song ends and I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. I'm like, I like showed Denny this shit.

Like I'm letting my whiteness show, right? After that, that other song comes on. That one that I was singing. Everyone always thinks of Hire as the one. Okay, okay. Okay. All right, but we all know, but we may not all know, but the dark horse,

the dark horse though, is that fucking, hold me down, and I'm six feet from a marine on the ground. Right? That's the dark horse, okay? And I know it was a huge hit, I get it. I know it was a huge hit and I get it, but that's what comes on next and I go, wait a second, and I'm eating the burger, I finished my burger while I'm eating this burger, while I'm listening to this song. I was gonna play it and not get

demonetized, but I'm like, this is a great song and I love Creed, period. Go on to my Instagram, immediately follow Scott Stapp okay because you know why? Because that's what he deserves. He deserves that and much more and I'm pissed off that society made me think Creed is corny when it's like fuck you society dude. I was I felt victim to the mob mentality trap. Dude Creed is awesome Nickelback is awesome I've always said Chainsmokers is awesome and Drake is awesome and anyone else who says otherwise can eat fucking dicks, dude. I'll put a Spotify playlist that just has Sir Mix-A-Lot, Creed, Nickelback,

Chainsmokers, and Drake on it. And I'll bop to it and I'll invite people over. And they played the whole time, and people go, you got anything else? And I look at them and I say, nope, how bite of the burger. Because, dude, it pisses me off that all of a sudden people decide people are corny. It's bullshit. And I'm sorry. And I'm sorry to no one. I'm sorry to just like in my head about what I thought about Creed, because I just let society dictate that. When it fucking ripped my sacrifice dude and it's great hit after hit after hit after hit after hit and dude I'll tell you this I went to the essentials whoopsie

daisy I went to the fucking Apple iTunes Essentials whoopsie daisy and I played it and I went straight through. I didn't shuffle. Hey, he went from one to 18 or whatever it was. And I felt that shit. Now let me tell you something, dude. After I followed scup Stapp on Instagram, and that name is just,

how is it a mouthful and two syllables? Scott Stapp, who I am a fan of, he cut his hair and he looks fantastic by the way. I follow him on Instagram. I finished my burger. Some kid comes up to me. Now I say kid, this was a college. London Ontario is a college town.

I didn't know that, but it is. Okay, he's maybe 19. Who knows 18, maybe 20. I don't know. He's in college. He comes up and he says, hey man, I didn't wanna bother you when you were eating, but now that you're done with your burger,

can I have a picture with you and I go of course her me down and I'm six feet from the edge and I'm fine and baby nice heat is not so deep or whatever the fuck is the song is you know and then the kid walks away And he says hey turns his head around and I go yeah It's not so far or whatever the fuck. And I say, and he says, congratulations on your comeback. And I go, what? And I say, oh, thanks. He's like, yeah, you killed it. I said, oh, thanks. And he says, see ya.

Turns around. And on it down, and on six feet on the edge, and I shrinks in. And he turns back around. And I'm all good. I got a mouthful of burger and a head full of creed. Right? Let me tell you right now, the guy just gave me a great compliment. Congratulations on your comeback. You're killing it.

Hey, hey, dude, he can't take much more. And by he, I mean me. Like I'm an outsider of myself right now because this was already a moment that was special. Okay. I had so many realizations, dude. The burger was better than mid. Creed was, I mean, I was living a lie that Creed was corny, okay? And this kid comes up to me and says, congratulations, you deserve it

Dude How many down And I'm six feet from the head and I'm fine Dude, I am crying in this burger shop because of some 19 year old. Well, dude, I am such a Scott Stapp fan now. I followed him on Instagram. He deserves it. Go follow Scott Stapp on Instagram, honestly.

What's it matter? He's so rich. Um, yeah, I really liked that band, dude. And I'm going to start listening to Nickelback more too now. I always listen to Chainsmokers, so fuck you. And Drake, I listen to. God, when you can sing good, that's so dope, huh? Sometimes, I don't like music, I don't.

But sometimes, music is mostly just like, turn it off, man. Can't we just think in peace? Right? Like I'm an old man, but every now and then I do get this hankering where I was just like, dude, I bet I wish I could fucking just pierce through the air, you know, just fucking pierce through it. Um, but I can't. I sing fine. I'm 44. I don't sing that good. I sing fine. My mom thinks I sing good. And that's not enough and I didn't work on it. I worked on comedy. Whoopsie daisy. And I'm glad I did, because I like comedy.

Um... But I don't know. Taylor Swift's corny, right? Ah, she kills it. Ah, she kills it though. Yeah, she can't dance, but ah, she kills it. Yeah, she dance. She looks like a coat hanger, but yeah, you know, fine. Okay. She kills it. Right? Yeah. She looks, when she dances, I don't know if she's dancing or if I

dropped a coat hanger, right? But her singing it's fine. Poppy is shit. She's great. Okay. I don't care. I don't care. You know, Trump said, I hate Taylor Swift.

Uh, that's, That's wild. It's weird because you're really powerful and you were a president and you might be the next president and you're spewing hate, like literally, and she's now her, probably, like how many people think, I guess Kamala Harris doesn't have that. I don't know who would have that. Well, nobody's, no president has had Twitter

and used it unabashedly like he has because it just hasn't happened yet. It will happen again, right? But he just say, I hate, and then that's got him. How many people immediately think, how many people immediately think after that, gotta kill Taylor Swift, gotta do it, gotta do it for him, right?

Definitely people at least think that. So if it doesn't happen, I'll be shocked. And, yeah, I don't know, that's wild. They make, Oh, dude. You know what? They're doing too much. They're doing too much. Because... I watched... I saw Unsolved Mysteries. okay? It's on Netflix. And it's... I have to be honest. I never really knew what Unsolved Mystery was beyond they're not... they're mysteries that haven't been solved yet, right? Now I love mysteries. Nobody doesn't like

mysteries. Everybody always't like mysteries. Everybody always loves thinking, wait a minute, that's like the number one feeling people like right now, especially nowadays with all the crime junkie podcasts and all that. Wait a second, hold on, something's not right. People love to go like this, something's not right. I think they're in for a bigger surprise. That's what they love thinking. That's why TV was so dope until they figured out it was all gonna be true crime shit. And now they're even the TV they make is all about true crime shit. And so Unsolved Mysteries, they're like, wait a minute. We were the OG shit. Let's redo it. So they redid it. They redid it. They made some for Netflix. So I go, alright. I never really knew what Unsolved Mysteries was all about. So let's give it a shot.

Didn't know what Creed was all about. Didn't know what also, so maybe Unsolved Mysteries is all about so let's give it a shot. Didn't know what Creed was all about. Didn't know what also so maybe Unsolved Mysteries is like this shit right? So I turn on Unsolved Mysteries and I'm watching Unsolved Mysteries and what was it about dude? It was about uh the one of one of the episodes was about some beast that comes to like steal people or kill people around certain catastrophic events or something like that. I almost forgot, okay? It was something like that. If you've seen all the episodes, you know which episode I'm talking about, I think. And I'm like, okay, so I'll watch this documentary. And I start watching because they do it. They know how to do it. They interview the people. They play the music.

They got the lighting nice. They got the voice and, and I'm like, all right, they're drawing me in is what they're doing. They're sucking me. They're sucking me off. Right. Um, so I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm starting to watch the thing. I go like this. Okay. So, all right.

So, so, so, so let's go like the beast, right. They start interviewing some lady and she's like, I never thought this, okay, so let's go, like the beast, right? They start interviewing some lady and she's like, I never thought that I would be saying this, but I just think that, and there's no way to explain it, and then if there's a beast and then it happens and it just adds, and then they knew, and then it all adds up to, and I go, all right, well, immediately this lady's crazy, right?

Because, you know why? Do you know why? Because there's no beast. Plain and simple, right? Just like, just like there's no Bigfoot. Plain and simple. And look, there's no Bigfoot. So there's definitely no something that's like Bigfoot. That's not, that's not Bigfoot, you know? Like it, if where, where is he? Everyone's got a cell phone. So at this point, where's Bigfoot, right? So there's definitely not another beast. See, what is it? What is it? What was it? It was like a, you looking it up, it's an unsolved mystery. It's like a fucking, I don't know what it was, but it was like, anyway. So I'm like, oh, this lady's crazy.

So then they go to another lady and she's like, there are two ladies together and they start interviewing them and they're like, so this is what happened and I can't explain it and it's in, and I go like this. Oh, huh, that's crazy. These two ladies have talked it into each other. That's crazy, right? So now these three ladies are crazy. Then they go to a guy who is a specialist, right?

And he's like, this has been happening all, you know, where they can't be unaccounted for and can't, and it can't explain this and that, and it's real unsolved mystery or whatever. And I think, wow, that actually sucks that this guy's job is not a job. Right? Like he's a not a thing historian. He's a nothing historian.

Like he is, he is basically, he's got a job that isn't a job. How are you? Making money guy. Hey, you know when they collect a flash to like, you know, they do an ancient aliens all the time They're like ancient aliens, you know professors specialists and you're like who's paying this motherfucker So Who's paying this motherfucker? So It's like it's like hitch the movie hitch like Will Smith plays a guy who hooks dudes up with their soulmate women

And and we just go to see the movie because Will Smith is in it. And we're like, oh yeah. That's not a job. It literally might as well be like, make Lord of the Rings. Elves don't exist either. At least that's more interesting. So, I'm watching this thing and then I'm like and then they cut to another guy and he's talking about and I'm like and then I'm like alright this is in my head I'm thinking like this is I'm watching this and it's kind of cool but then immediately I'm hit with hold

on a second all these people are crazy All these people are crazy. All these people are wrong. There is definitely not an entity that's stealing people in the forest around major disasters. Know why? Because. Because we know. All right?

It isn't happening. It is not happening. and you know it and we all know it except for Crazy people and these crazy people are on this documentary so now I'm halfway through this fucking documentary And I'm like shit man they interview like ten crazy people and I say they're crazy because I'll believe this all right now I'm I realize I'm watching a bunch of fucking morons talk and I'm doing it for 45 minutes and now I'm like, hey, you know what? Fuck these people and fuck who made this shit for wasting my time. I'm basically watching nothing just because there's a cool announcer, good music, and nice lighting in it.

And crazy people. And they're trying to drill home a point that there's some entity out there stealing motherfuckers. And then I think about all of these documentaries. How many documentaries interview crazy people? Half? So now I'm like, oh fuck man, I guess I gotta hate documentaries. I guess I gotta hate... because this is so annoying dude. It's so annoying. And to watch it ironically is okay, but still, you're still watching it, feeding into it, and motherfuckers aren't gonna believe this shit!

So then I watch it, watch the whole thing, turn it off, and pissed off watch the whole thing, they got me. And, um, then, I see on, on YouTube this this documentary Okay. I cannot, I can't stand this kind of stuff right here. This is the pinnacle. It's up there. It's not the pinnacle, but it's up there of, I don't care in history who was gay.

in history who was gay. I don't care in history if, if, you know, Harriet Tubman scissored a bunch of women, you know, Hey, I don't care. I don't care if J. Edgar Hoover. I don't care. I don't care if Attila the Hun. I, I do, I don't care. I don't care if Attila the Hun... I do... I don't... was just, you know, ravaging villages and also having sex with men. I don't... I don't care. It... it's... I don't even care a little bit. Right? It's not interesting to me.

Yeah, most is like this. Oh, you what? Oh, no. But there's a documentary that came out about Abraham Lincoln being gay. And the fact that, how could you, how could you care that much? And to make up... you're setting up cameras and shit. You know, you got this guy with the microphone.

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some historian that's just like, you know, he actually slept in a bed multiple times with another man and, you know, we know them to just be friends, but it does raise questions. This is a person you're listening to about Abraham Lincoln being gay, and then you got some people being like, no it wasn't! How the fuck do you know? Dude, you're gonna go your whole life, your whole life without being gay? Your whole life. I mean, dude, well Abraham Lincoln probably died too early, honestly. He died, he got shot in the head. So he probably wasn't gay. He, maybe he got to gay, who knows. But

I'm just saying, if you live 90, 90 years old as a man, and you don't even think about like kind of 90 years old as a man, and you don't even think about like kind of One time you know that's gay then that's you know you made 90 years without that I Mean in prison people fuck each other in eight days, so it's like But they made a documentary. Here, here we go. New documentary claims Abraham Lincoln was gay. Lover of men it's called. Eh, you know, how about don't call it that.

Dude, the fact that the documentary on if Lincoln is gay or not is called lover of men is like hey the guy freed the slaves hey dude he's already known for the best thing you're just going to make a documentary about how maybe he sucked a guy off? That's so shitty. That's so the guy signed the emancipation proclamation and you want to interview people 200, 300 years later to find out if he gave somebody an otphhj or whatever the fuck that's so that is so disrespectful and i don't and i'm not coming at this like a whole And I'm not coming at this like a whole, oh, he ain't gay? I won't stand for it.

I don't, dude, hey, maybe he porked a dude. Maybe four score and seven years ago, he sucked a man off. You know what I'm saying? It's so disrespectful to talk about the dude, to make a duck, and I'm sure it's a, I don't even know. Maybe it's a gay activist, a gay documentarian that's like, this is gonna bring, you know, awareness to gays that gays were, I don't, dude,

he freed, hey, he freed all of black people. He was assassinated. It's insane, dude. It's absolutely insane. And people would watch it, I guess? I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna watch it. My teeth are gonna be shorter after I watch it, because I'm gonna be so grinding them. My teeth are going to be shorter after I watch it because I'm going to be so grinding them. All right.

We just got this is funny. Wow. I mean, you know what's funny is I went to bat for this woman who did it, who did this. Uh, uh, it was something about the Lakers and she said that

she sounded like she said the N word. She didn't. I was saying on this podcast, It was something about the Lakers and she said that she sounded like she said the N word. She didn't. And I was saying on this podcast, I was like, dude, she didn't do that. You gotta be a moron. You know you're not, you don't do that, right? And everyone was just killing her online and she was sweet. She wrote to me afterwards.

And this one is way worse. Rich Lowry. I still here here yeah that's hilarious too it's on um what's her name? Megyn Kelly? It says by drawing attention to what's happening on the ground it's just right as the line goes online you don't hate the media enough. Go ahead. You remember alternative facts with Kellyanne? They did the media enough. Go ahead. You remember alternative facts with Kelly Anne? They did the same thing. She wasn't saying you make up fictions and pretend they're facts.

You bring other facts to bear in the debate that are being ignored. And that's what he was saying. And I loved, I think it was in that interview where Dana Bash says, the police have gone through 11 months of recordings of calls, and they've only found two Springfield residents calling to complain about Haitian migrants taking geese from ponds. Only two calls and I think one lesson in this whole story, people don't care about geese.

People really hate. Wow, congratulations on him for just plowing right through it. Dude, his face didn't tick even. Like he just, he probably didn't even know know I love the comments that are just like when they hide it it still comes out. That's my like dude he He obviously slipped up and didn't mean What I don't understand is these people

So alright, there's people who think okay he said it he meant to say it that's crazy all right there nobody would mean to say it on national TV you know your life's over after that okay number two there are people who think oh he says it all the time and that's why it rolled off his tongue so easily and that's what dude there's zero evidence of that this guy is just a guy that almost said like what were the two words you were gonna say immigrant and here let's go back here and what by drawing attention to what's happening on the ground it's just right as this line goes on immigrant you don't hate them enough go ahead

you remember alternative facts with kellyann they did the same the lead-up is incredible Right. And as the line goes on, see you don't hate the media enough. Go ahead. You remember Alternative Facts with Kellyanne? They did the same thing. The lead up is incredible. You make up fictions and pretend you're fat. Just how long it is. You bring other facts. You know what's going to happen and you're just like, oh. You're being ignored.

And that's what he was saying. And I loved, I think it was in that interview where Dana Bash says, the police have gone through 11 months of recordings of calls. And they've only found two Springfield residents calling to complain about Haitian migrants. Migrants he was trying to say dude and he just said instead of Mike he said Mig and then stopped and then plowed right through. I don't even know if he meant, if he knew he did it. Um, wow. But that's really kind of what are people saying?

Andy McCarthy, who I don't know who anybody is in politics. He said ridiculous. Rich Lowry not tagged here. Obviously got crossed out between immigrants short eye. Look at this guy trying to do the English lesson and migrants long. I started mispronouncing migrants with short eye. Like this guy with the, an English teacher instantly corrected himself with no embarrassment because it was patently a mispronunciation.

Jesus. Yes, that is what happened. I think a hundred percent. And look at this guy, this other guy, Mike Nellis. Wow. Rich Lowry called Haitian migrants, the N word at the 42 second mark here while defending Trump and Vance and making up the story about Springfield, Ohio. Listen for yourself.

It's people who just want to be outraged. Look at, look at this. Look at this. Oh wow. This is Kamau Bell. Now you know exactly what you did. You misspoke. You didn't mispronounce.

We just got a window into who you really are because since when does... It's so... How could you say this when you don't know? You don't know what's going on in the guy's head. God, that sucks. A slip of tongue. Look at this. Having a hard time coming out, coming to any conclusion. Like, I just misspoke. Does that mean I'm gay because I said coming out?

That means I suck a lot of... I suck guys. That means I suck guys. I just misspoke. Oh, Chris. He sucks guys. Having a hard time coming to any conclusion besides the obvious one about what Rich Lowry catches himself blurting out here. I don't know man. You know a lot of times, the guys probably are not even thinking about it.

You know who he is though? Sometimes black people are waiting for that shit. Like, oh! I remember I turned on an Instagram and the first thing that happened was, whoever the thing was, it blurred out the N word. Dude, there was a black dude next to me. And he looks over, first of all, dude, you know, like, you know that it's just, you can

look at anything on your phone and, and, and it's not even like, you could argue that my algorithm is only dude saying N word, you know, like just I'm so racist. And the deducted said, he looked at me and said, you all right over there? Dude. And I was like, bro, it's Instagram. I don't watch this shit. And, uh, you know, he was obviously, well, not obviously, but he was just being silly. But if I was somebody who got like all choked up with shit like that that would have like, you know God Yeah, yeah, that's me I was recording videos on my phone and that's me

Like what what do you you know, because some people will be like, oh, so it's your phone. Dude, it's just like everybody's, everybody's not racist all the time. You know, people don't actually, people don't actually think about it that much. You know, like sometimes people are just hanging out and and I know there's a lot of racism in the world and I know you get the short end of the stick a lot of the times but this just isn't one of those moments. Right-wing Chris and I don't even mean to be that way. I don't even mean to be that way to right wings, but it's just people aren't... here's the here's the

truth. Here's the truth. And not... this doesn't have to do with racism. It has to do with all of it. Everything. Everything. People think their world is over because this happened that happened... people are not thinking of you. You aren't on their radar. You know? It's just... I mean... I mean, it's just so weird, man. Isn't that funny? You almost say it and then it could cause this uproar? What about thinking it? Pretty soon there's gonna be a thing where we could read people's minds and you're thinking the N-word and people are just... People with intrusive thoughts are just gonna, you know...

People with intrusive thoughts are just gonna, you know? People with intrusive thoughts are gonna be canceled every other day, every three hours. Dude, my intrusive thoughts are crazy. Hey, they're crazy. Hey, I think about stabbing a guy at Sweet Greens, you know? Just for no, what if I stabbed him and then how sad would his family be? Oh, I'll have the miso salmon.

That's me at Sweet Greens. Ooh, I love the seasonal bowls. Let me, yeah, what if I stabbed him? His whole family would be so sad to stab him like up in his neck like this and then he was clocking out. Clock, clock, clock, clocking was all red. Oh, what's that?

Yeah, no, let me get the miso salmon, please. Thank you. Let me get the harvest beef bowl. Thank you. Oh, I love the seasonal dishes. And that's what I'm thinking is ending this guy's family and his life ordering a harvest beef bowl. Like, it doesn't mean I'm a serial killer. And you have these thoughts too, you motherfuckers? Yeah, mine are worse because I have OCD and mine are more often because I have OCD, but you have them too.

What if I just pissed on this guy's lemonade? What if I just walked up pissed on his lemonade? What if I just walked up pissed right in his fucking Chipotle bowl? What if I just walked up pissed right in his fucking Chipotle bowl? What if I just did that? That'd be so weird. My dick all limp and just pissing in it. And then I, you know, I go get in line. It's just normal shit.

Um, anyway. All right. Well, that's good. ChrisLia.com will be in Duluth, is it called, soon? On, and then Thunder Bay, Lexington, a bunch of Alabama, and Toronto, and what's the other one? Go to Chrislea.com, Sioux Falls, I don't know. Brea, California, too, is coming up here.

So go to Chrislea.com. Thank you Falls, I don't know. Brea, California too is coming up here. So go to chrislea.com. Thank you very much. That's it for the YouTube show. If you want to get the rest of the show, the unedited, the extra, go to our Patreon, patreon.com slash chrislea and that also will get you, that will unlock the episode, the extra episode we do each month.

And there's a lot of them back there. So go, it's just six bucks. Plus you help support the show, you keep the show going. patreon.com, thank you. Thank you. Okay.