Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Thursday, January 31st 2013

Episode Date: January 31, 2013

Today's show is a special one. You know, "special". Crendor manages to drive Jesse nuts with his talk about hippo candy, while at the same time creating an entire new character "Mc Rough". Then the boys talk about the future of football, and it's amazing. Also, what does your desk say about you? Besides the fact that you're lazy. All this and more! Related Link: http://www.trbimg.com/img-5106759e/turbine/sfl-ducttaping-gluing-20130125-001/384/384x240

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trending! This is Trending in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Wake your ass up, it's Ghost on Trending in the morning! Hello everybody, it is Thursday. How are you? It's the next friend of the morning! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!

Hello everybody, it is Thursday. How are you this fine morning? Remember when we didn't have that show that one day and then we put the day up on that before day? I do not recall that. No. Me either. Strange that you would bring it up then. Yeah, I don't even know what made me say that. No. Me either. Strange. That you would bring it up then. I don't even know what made me say that.

It's weird. It's very weird. You know what I like? Yes. What do you like? This candy I bought at World Market. I hate you. What kind of candy? It's called Kinder Happy Hippo Biscuits. And they're like... You just bought it for the name.

They're little, like, hippos, but they're filled with chocolate. Are they, like, crackers? I mean, I don't... They're like little... They're like biscuit cracker things. Cookies? They're more like cookies.

So they're like those panda things that you see in sort of, like, Asian markets sometimes that are, like, little happy of like Asian market sometimes they're like Little pandas or koalas. Yeah, they had koala ones and they're like fresh from the outback That I'm sticking with it, that's my Fresh from that back out back out back It's like a merge between your Chicago and, like, attempted Australia.

Holy sissy. Fresh from the outback. We're off to a good start today. We are. It's like those, but they got little sprinkles around them, too. And then I also bought these ginger ginger uncrystallized ginger pieces, which are a product of Australia. For what, though?

What purpose does that serve? Just to eat? To taste what they tasted like. Uh-huh, are they good? I mean, if you really like ginger, but it's very strong. Yeah, I'm not a fan. I can handle ginger schnapps, schnapps with the S-C-H.

I can handle, like, ginger beer and ginger ale and things like that. That's fine. But straight up ginger, I've never been a fan of. I don't know why. I put that in my super tea. With, like, ginseng or whatever? No, just ginger. Just ginger, no ginseng?

But like, I can handle like ginger tea, but like even just this is just this is very strong. I'm glad you bought it just to see what it tasted like. It was six dollars. That's a lot of money. I'm eating one of these a day

because I'm not throwing these out. That's amazing. Like look, I'm sure there's a lot of money! I'm eating one of these a day because I'm not throwing these out. That's amazing. Like look, I'm sure there's a health benefit. Yeah, exactly. How much did the hippos cost? They costed... How much did they costed? They costed... They costed... I don't even know. There's no price on them!

They probably were like $45. You better cherish those hippos. But they're from Germany. They're from Frankfurt. We did the weather from Frankfurt one day. Oh, yeah, we did. It even says, what's this say on the back? No artificial colors.

It has a little diagram of the hippo, like it's analyzing it. It says, tasty meringue coating, crispy wafer wafer biscuit cocoa creamy filling and milky creamy filling Then it says have you tried happy hippo hazelnut? Oh? What's Other than nutritional information Germany puts energy Mean no when people send me stuff from overseas, it'll say energy. I assume that's the calories.

But it's like in a weird unit that isn't calories. Like, calories are different from energy. K-Cal. Yeah, it's like the same thing. And KJ. So I don't know. I don't know. Energy.

It provides you with 313 grams of energy. RG4 needs energy to function like a human. RG4 needs energy to function like a human. RG4 requires mass quantities of hippos. Ah, I almost dropped it. That was good. This is very professional. You're doing a great job today. You're doing this on purpose.

I hate you. I'm not. I'm sitting here drinking my water. Oh, I got a jug of water too. I just ate a salad. Where'd you get the water from? From the store. What kind of water is it?

It is cheap water that was on sale. You did it wrong. Gotta get... I'm sorry! Pure New Zealand water. Gotta get what? Pure New Zealand water. I gotta get pure New Zealand water. You gotta get what? Pure New Zealand water. Pure New Zealand water? What?

I got it at Trader Joe's. You are an international man of mystery, you know that? Trader Joe's. If you would like to send me eight pallets of Trader Joe's pure New Zealand artesian water. Because he has got a mess of chicken wings in the backyard to watch down. People did the math on it, and they're like, that's like 2,000 boxes of chicken wings. I can only imagine.

It's just like, where's the chicken wings at? Oh, it's the house with all the boxes of chicken wings. All those crows in their backyard. That's the chicken wing house. But this jug of water, it is a gallon of water, and it's from New Zealand. Uh-huh.

And it says that... What makes it so good, though? Because it's like... Okay, listen to this. Yeah? New Zealand water bubbles to the surface under its own pressure the definition of artesian from an ancient aquifer 600 feet beneath the surface of the earth and completely natural Okay, so you're believing everything that's on the back of it, huh? It says it's bottled in New Zealand Well this water says it's bottled at the source. Bottled by

natural waters of VD Limited. Doesn't really say anything else about it. That's how you know it's high quality. Doesn't really say. It says that it has a pH of

7.7, whatever that means. That's the acidity levels. I have 7.7 of those. Whatever that is, I got 7.7 of them. I don't actually know the pH scale. I just know it's like a thing. We're going to get some scientist like,

excuse me! The pH scale is a very interesting scale that you should not make fun of. That is highly un-ethnic. Go home, nerdlinger. Go home. I just wanted to be part of the conversation. I'm taking my RG4 with me.

RG4, don't drive you home. RG4 driving Miss Daisy. Hi, everybody! Welcome to the show. We're doing a show? We are, we are. Really, it started out as like, hey, how was your day kind of show. But, but, my day

became much better after suffering through, I had a turkey wrap today for lunch. It was... I just picked one. I didn't even know what it was gonna be. I included one piece of turkey. I couldn't even, I was like,

I gotta watch the calories. Okay, so then... I gotta watch the calories, guys. Did you have a tic-tac for lunch? No, I'm not a supermodel. Although if I was, I would date myself because I would be gorgeous. That's a great quote.

So today, I was thankful enough to go to Twitter and see all the amazing messages people sent us about Florida. Apparently they do not want Florida stories to end because we got an amazing image of when you looked up Florida Man

the things that popped up on the news feed for Google were that some of the stories we talked about Florida Man busted for illegal butt injections and then also Florida Man scared silly over baby alligator on doorstep and Florida Man arrested for giving people

wedgies and maybe the best one florida man kills wife after she refuses to cook hamburger police say apparently like the story is actually legitimately really sad like this guy the he's been married to a 71 year old wife he's 78 He was married to his 71 year old wife for like 50 some years and apparently they just hated each other And he was really abusive the kids said But he would always ask her to make him something She would refuse and finally he just lost it

He was like Make me a hamburger And apparently he only speaks Italian so he's like I could make a hamburger And she's like No I'm not making a hamburger He's like, I'm going to scour the hamburger. And she's like, no, I'm not making the hamburger. He's like, no, scooby-dooby-dooby. Scooby-dooby-dooby hamburger.

Italian. You've just offended so many people. They can't understand what we're saying anyway. It's true. Boopity boppity me Italian. They're just eating their spaghetti. I'm so jealous of them. They get to eat spaghetti.

Son of a bitch. So I went to that article, right? And I was like, okay, well that's, you know, that's kind of sad. And I was like, I need to find a real legit, I mean, the title's funny, but the article's kind of sad. And I was like, I need to find a legit Florida story. and i go newest stories and immediately the first thing that pops up is trio charged with duct taping gluing teen to chair what devin wiseman 18 dustin ardillo 19 and charles westenhauser 21 told authorities it was all done in fun and meant to be a joke

they could put it on a video on the internet. That's what happens when you do YouTube. I mean, it would have got views. But the 16-year-old boy, who reportedly had been bound with duct tape, had his hands covered, ankles and mouth covered, and then glued to a chair by the trio,

didn't think it was so funny. The boy told deputies it was all done against his will oh the trio then threatened to buzz cut his hair and then stick him inside a dresser when the trio left home uh the boy's dad showed up 53 and he was like oh hell no the boys came back and the dad was waiting there with a metal level i assume like one of those things that, you know, you level off on walls, you're going to hang pictures or whatever. And he chased them away with it.

And then as he chased them down the street, he wildly swung at them with it, knocking over mailboxes, finally hitting one of the kids in the head. The kids were arrested, and then they filed a complaint against the guy who hit the one kid in the head. And then out came the woman that was like,

in the name of Jesus. Only in Florida. This is insane. But the kid, the kid, he looks at the kind of guy who would want to be on YouTube. Yup. They look like the kind of guy who's like, oh, we get too famous.

Just like, hey guys, don't make videos today. We have to include that link in the description. These two guys are like, hey! The one guy looks very sassy, like, I'm making videos. The other guy's like, I'm making videos. Yeah, the one guy looks like, yo, what up? I'm making videos. He's probably the 21-year-old who was too drunk in stone to realize he's 21 and taping a kid to a chair.

Of course. I mean, how do they know this kid? I don't know. I do want to know how an 18, 19, 20 year old are all friends. Here's what I'm thinking. Drugs. I'm going to go out on a limb and say drugs. That's generally what happens. Yeah. Even when like

whenever I watch the news, they're like on the south side of Chicago another person was shot today. And they look like they've been on drugs. Yeah. Drugs. He's such a nice boy! I don't know what happened!

Except for when he thought he was a zombie and tried to eat some people. That was pretty bad. Stay off drugs, kids. Yeah, stay off drugs. We're like Ruff the Crime Dog, fighting crime. You just call him Ruff? I don't know his name. It's McGruff, not Ruff the Crime Dog.

It should be McGruff. It is McGruff. No, I said McGruff, not like McGruff. McGruff. McGruff is like Ruff, Ruff, Ruff, like a dog. Oh, he is a dog. Exactly. His name should be McRuff.

And he'd be like, oh, McRuff the crime dog. That is his name. Shut up. No. Okay. Mc, the crime dog. No, you're saying McRuff, right? But no matter how you pronounce it, it still sounds like McRuff. No, but it saying McGruff, right? But no matter how you pronounce it, it still sounds like McGruff.

No, but it says McGruff. Shut up. Shut up. No, no, I will not. It says McGruff the crime dog. I say it should be McRuff with an R. But it sounds the same. It doesn't sound the same.

It's different. Just make it R. McGruff, change your name. McRuff sounds like a porn actor. We're trying to save kids' lives, not get them into porn. Or the new fast food item in Thailand, McDonald's. McRuff. Because they eat dogs there.

That sounds like an illegal sex act, mick ruff they eat dogs there and now we lost them as an audience too they don't listen they just have like freaking happy hour damn it they get to have happy hour mick ruff and mick ruffs oh man And McRuff's. Oh man. This show's going places. McRuff taking bites out of hippo chocolates. Alright, that brings us to chapter 7 of the Sky with Grendor. Grendor, how's that traffic out there? Whoa, it's really windy out here, so I'm flying around and it's flying all over. I don't even know, I can't even see the things on the ground.

I think we're upside down, so all I can see is the clouds. The cloud traffic's looking pretty good, though. They seem evenly spaced, so they're following the rules of the clouds. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk.

Crandor, how's that weather? Today's weather, I thought, we talk about Florida. Why not go to Florida? Ooh, where we going? We're gonna go to Jacksonville. Ah, the craziest of the parts of Florida. Yes.

Right now in Jacksonville, it's 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Southwest winds 19 to 31 miles per hour. 62% humidity, 10 miles of visibility, and 29.8 inches of pressure. Trending keywords, wind, rain, and tornado. Kawaii Butsu says... Cute Butsu? Kawaii Butsu says, storm is here, I guess. That's a profound-ass tweet.

Storm is here, I guess. I guess. They have no exclamations or anything. It's just like, storm is here, I guess. Lashaya says, the wind is blowing so hard. That's all she said? Yeah. Witjane says, so rain came from out of nowhere.

I'm pretty sure it didn't come from out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure it came from somewhere. Praise the Lord! The rain came from nowhere! It came from the... RG4 cannot process

where rain comes from. Nice save. That's where rain comes from. Jacksonville? All the rain in the world comes from Jacksonville. The tears the people of Jacksonville cry. That's rain. It makes sense.

And then we got new tweets that just popped up right now. These are fresh off the press. I don't think Twitter knows it's raining yet. Haha, Gavin got off. Says Big Spence Ham. I don't even know what that means. I don't either, but apparently Big Spence Ham does. And then Kawaii Butsu just put up another tweet.

They said, Kawaii Butsu is so profound that Jacksonville is now in Georgia, and we just don't know it yet. What was that place we talked about that we told to, like, get rain, wind, and fire trending? I don't remember. At all. I don't either.

At all. And I'm kind of too lazy to check. Earth, wind, and fire, man. Wherever that's at. I don't know. We'll find it sometime. Yeah, someone will remind us. Sports or weather.

Well, now it's time for sports. Sports. Well, now it's time for sports. Sports! In sports news, there are apparently rumors that Ray Lewis is taking deer antler spray. What? It says he's taking deer antler spray, which if you Google... What does that mean? It means...

Is that like tiger blood? Well, this says, FYI, what is deer antler spray? Exactly, yes. You're familiar with HGH, correct? Tiger blood. Well, this says, FYI, what does deer antler spray? Exactly. And why would a football player use it? You're familiar with HGH, correct? I asked Key, referring to human growth hormone. I am. It's converted in the liver to IGF-1.

IGF-1, or insulin-like growth factor, is a natural anabolic hormone that stimulates muscle growth. We have deer that we harvest out of New Zealand. Their antlers are the fastest growing substance on planet Earth because of the high concentration of IGF-1. We've been able to freeze dry that out, extract it, put it in a sublingual spray that you shake for 20 seconds

and then spray three times under your tongue. This stuff has been around for almost a thousand years. This stuff is from the Chinese. Oh, well then, it's natural. And so, apparently, San Francisco was all like, Ray Lewis is using deer antler spray. And he was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

But he actually is? I don't know. Nobody knows. Well, if it's natural and the Chinese use it, then why are people freaked out? I don't know. Everybody should be using deer antler spray. Everyone, look, let everyone use what they want to. My hope is that in a few years, football will just be a giant bunch of freaks

that just murder each other on the field. That would be so much better. They'll turn into like that game, Blood Bowl. The quarterbacks have multiple arms. The receivers can like stretch their bodies. And everyone on the line is just like a giant brute animal.

Just like... They don't even say words. They're just like... Right? Now that's the football I want to see. And then they'll grow deer antlers from the spray. Apparently out of their mouths. Yeah.

They'll have tusks. Whoa. Dude. And then RG4 will be MVP. So you'll be, like, the leader of the robot quarterbacks. All quarterbacks will be robots. No, but that's a few years from now. We'll at least be on to RG5 by then. That's true. Because RG5 needs to be armored.

Yeah. He needs much better armor and spikes. He needs antler resistant armor. Yes. And a jetpack. Oh my god. How amazing would that be? If like two people got jetpacks And they have like The ball is only gonna get better I assume

They had a new position called like anti-air He just sits in the back and he's like Wait for the jetpack You throw the ball The quarterback throws the ball And the guy with the jetpack has to stand on the ground. But he only gets 30 seconds of fuel, so he has to be quick about when he uses it during the game. Yeah.

So the ball gets thrown, and he can jetpack up and get the ball. But sometimes he misses and flies out of the arena. That would be amazing. Or he has to get it and land. But sometimes they land, and it's, like, a shatter to their legs. That would be an amazing game. He's trying to land. He forgets that he only has, like, five seconds of fuel left.

He tries to make a run for the end zone. It's just like, and then he just crashes like five yards short. That's what I'm saying. It'd be amazing. He gets 30 seconds the entire game. So he has to be really careful about when he uses it. Oh my God. Dude, that'd be an amazing condition.

I'm looking forward to the future now. And then the announcers, we can get rid of all the crappy ones there are now that like mess up their words. The announcers will just be that two-headed guy from episode one. Little Anakin Skywalker. We'll just get that guy. Yeah. Yeah.

And then RG4 retired. He'll be an announcer. Yeah, RG4's a commentator. He'll just be, like, his voice box because that's all that's left of him. He's like, RG4 does not understand the rules of this game. Speaking of which, Troy Aikman has had like 30 concussions and every time I listen to him announce a football game

he is the worst announcer because he gets their names wrong. Like they're talking about like Aaron Rodgers. He's like, Rodgers Aaron has had a great day. And he's like, um, Troy, I don't think that's his name. I think he mixed up the thing. And then he just like keeps calling weird things. He's like, um, Troy, I don't think that's his name. I think he mixed up the thing. And then he just like keeps calling him weird things. He's like,

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, like, Troy Aikman, you need help. That's right. That's my Troy Aikman rant. That's sports. Sports! Alright, now let's move on to the big story of the day.

What your desk says about you. Okay. Since most of us sit at desks, this will be interesting. Way too much, yeah. Okay. Okay. Look at your desk. Is it scattered with unread papers? Adorned with family photos? Do you have toys that help you think? The way that you organize and decorate your desk reveals a surprising amount of information

about who you are at the office. We arrange our spaces to communicate our attitudes, goals, and values. As a business leader, your employees' desks can help you understand and motivate them more efficiently. People want to be known, says Sam Gosling, psychologist and professor at the University of Texas. Just like that he said it, too. Yeah.

You're healthier, happier, and more productive when others see you as you are. Take a look at your employees' desks. What does the space look like? What personal objects are there? It's really important to look for themes. Focus on the objects that seem consistent and permanent. Here are a few easy things to look for. Number one, an organized desk says, you are dependable and timely.

People with organized desks tend to be more conscientious. They tend to be that, meaning that they are reliable, task oriented people who plan well and get their work done on time. When I go into a space, I look for a calendar first, Gosling says, since an up-to-date used desk calendar is in there. Wait, is this article for people to try and figure out what their workers are like, or figure out what you are like?

Because it feels like this article is like how to spot the people at your job you should fire. Well, you can analyze yourself as well. So, I mean, it's a little of both. When people see a messy office, they infer that the person is disagreeable, which is not necessarily true. My hunch is that the mess is unpleasant to look at, so they assume the person is inconsiderate.

Okay. I don't know. Number two is uncommon objects say, you're creative and open to new experiences. People with original art unusual spaces. What do they consider, oh, I was about to say, what do they consider uncommon? Yeah. Original art unusual spaces or a diverse array of objects tend to be high in openness,

meaning they embrace new ideas or experiences that are often very creative. If you go in and think, wow, I've never never seen that before they're likely high in openness gosling says innovative or just high or just or just high yeah one or the other one uh for example etsy gives each new employee a 100 site credit to decorate their desks leading to an odd array of robots stuffed octopus vintage typewriters and artwork. So really what they're saying is the only people who buy stuff on Etsy are the employees of Etsy. But they get to be hip. Who's

gonna buy this shirt I knitted from lint out of my dryer? Oh my God, I bet there's somebody that does that. You know there is. You know there's a guy who does that. My favorite, my favorite are the, uh, are the underwear that women make for other women. I'm like, that's really creepy.

Would you like to buy my underwear? No, ma'am. No, I would not. Where do you get your underwear? From men who make underwear for other men. In China? Like everyone else should. Yeah, like I'm a normal person.

That's the American way. My underwear is made by the Chinese. Yeah, when you put it that way, it sounds creepy. Number three. Inspirational posters and messages say, you're neurotic. Yeah, that's what it says. People who pepper their desks' inspirational statements are typically a bit're neurotic. Yeah, that's what it says. People who pepper their desks inspirational statements are typically

a bit more neurotic. The classic type A personality. Inspirational statements are a psychological form of trying to keep people together emotionally, Gosling says. It calms anxiety. If you have inspirational posters up, don't worry that they're sending the wrong message. Neurotic people are often highly successful

in the workplace in the sayings they choose to display, communicate their values. Yeah, you're just unbearable. You're very successful, but you're just bad people, is what he's saying. Yeah. This guy's really smart. This guy's really smart.

He's like, look, you can be very successful and crazy. I mean, it only makes sense. It makes sense. Number four, an inviting space says, you're extroverted. People with especially inviting offices including an open door, comfortable chairs, or a candy jar tend to be very

social. By creating a welcoming space, they show others that they're approachable and often get many more visitors than the introverts. Sociability can pave the way for promotions and new opportunities, so introverts may help their careers by adding a few inviting touches. People can learn to exercise that side, Gosling says,

but it'll never be pleasant like it is for someone who is biologically this way. It's not intrinsic. Intrinsic. Nice. I was reading a thing on introverted versus extroverted and how our society literally shifted. Because everybody's like, oh, that guy's really outgoing and fun. He must be really successful.

Well, back in the medieval ages and all that time period, if you were extroverted and loud, you were the jester. The introverted, quiet people read all the books and were intelligent. But the king, what would he be? I don't know. He's kind of like both. Because he's the most successful. And he's the only one that matters.

Yeah. Well, he's like a mixture. And then his council is, like, introverted people. Well, I don't know. I've seen Game of Thrones. Unless... They all like to bang each other on that one. Hmm.

Stump ya. This is very... that. Take that. I don't know. This makes for great contemplating. What do you say? I say it's time to end the show. But then we leave it on a cliffhanger. Good.

Maybe we ask the fans. What do they think? Yeah, what do you think, fans? Comment and stuff. What was the question we What do they think? Yeah, what do you think, fans? Comment and stuff. What was the question we asked? Answer that. Yeah. Speaking of which, this guy left the comment.

That's the top comment. It says, my desk is piled with work I'm supposed to be doing while I read stupid articles like this and type rambling posts at 20 words per minute just to get attention of people that I will never meet. Good man. Good man. All right, guys. That's it never meet. Good man. Good man. Alright guys, that's it

for today. We will be back tomorrow. Thank you for listening. And, as always, you really did break that other bell, didn't you? No, I still got it. To be continued.