Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Thursday, November 29th

Episode Date: November 29, 2012

Thursday is here, and the week's almost over! But not before we discuss a new study that says women judge men based on their levels of immunity! Oh, and BIGFOOT!

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendor in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up, it's Cox and Crendor in the morning. Cox and Crendor in the morning. Hello everybody, welcome to Cox and Crendor in the morning! Crendor in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome to Cox and Crendor in the morning.

It's Thursday. We're almost done with the work week. Almost. You can stop waking up so early. Yay. That was the single least excited yay I've ever... Yay. Yay.

Hooray. I mean, people are going to work and school. They don't want to go. Maybe they do. Maybe they reallyoray. I mean, people are going to work and school. They don't want to go. Maybe they do. Maybe they really enjoy it. Nerds. Okay, so before we start off on our big news story and all the weather and stuff that we usually do, I listen to a show at night.

It's a radio program every so often called Coast to Coast AM. It is, without a doubt, the most bonkiest, wack-tastical show ever on anything. Best show. Ranging in topics from aliens to the afterlife to why magic mushrooms connect you to... there was literally a show that was like, why getting high connects you to God, to government conspiracies, to even like the mundane stuff of like, what's the causes of war?

Like, it's all over the place. It's an amazing show. But mostly it's a forum for crazy people to talk. And I'm okay with it because it's wonderful. And so my parents listen to it every night. Every night. And my dad, I think, has completely bought into like 90% of what they talk about. And so he is really into this Mayan end of the world, December 21st prophecy.

Right? Even though technically there is no prophecy. There's nothing that says the world is going to end on the world, December 21st, prophecy, right? Even though technically there is no prophecy, there's nothing that says the world's going to end on the 21st. The Mayan calendar just ends on the 21st. But apparently people assume that that's like it somehow relates to the end of the world. I don't know. But so I received an email, and in this email my mom says, did you hear what George Norris said about the Mayans last night?

That's it. That's all the email says. And I'm like, no, I, did you hear what George Norris said about the Mayans last night? That's it. That's all the email says. And I'm like, no, I was working. What did he say? She goes, in the last hour, a guest talked about the Mayans. He said the Mayans believed there was an axis of two polarities in the universe. A male polarity, which was determined. And the female polarity, which was determined, and the female polarity, which was free-spirited.

Mother Earth is the representative of the female polarity. So they believed that Mother Earth will decide the destruction of life over four events. Humans will survive the first event, but not the second. The events will begin the seven years after

December 21st. What? Does... What? What? Who said this? This is a nonsense thing. Like, to me, this reeks of, because I don't think that December 21st is the end of the world like all these other wackos, I want to say it's within seven years of it because I want to be my own wacko. I mean, it's the same as that old guy that kept being like there comes the rapture who just wait for it and then it didn't

happen like all those people sold their houses and everything and he's like oh the numbers were wrong it turns out it's 15 years from now I'm like the the biggest skeptic of everything even with with the Mayan calendar, like NASA made a list of reasons why it's not happening. Even Mayans! The Mayans are an extinct race! They exist! They are still in Mexico! And people have gone up to them and been like,

excuse me, do you think the world's going to end on the 21st of December? And they'll look at them and go, no, that's nonsense! Even the Mayans are no, that's nonsense. Even the mimes are like, it's nonsense. All that's going to happen is there's going to be some crazy people that are like, world's ending, let's go rob and loot stuff.

And then police force will be out and it'll just be riots. I feel like the 22nd should just be a good party. Like, I just want to go have a party on the 22nd. I feel like renting out an entire Buffalo Wild a good party. Like, I just want to go have a party on the 22nd. I feel like renting out an entire Buffalo Wild Wings and just being like, hey, come to Buffalo Wild Wings. Let's get some chicken and beer and just have a good night.

Cox Con. I think that might happen. I can't guarantee it will, but yeah. I don't know how we got on this subject from the fact that my parents, they listen to crazy stuff, but whatever, you know. So what's going on in the news? What's happening in the news right now? Yahoo likes to report about people and their credit. What?

They say that these are five reasons people ruin their credit. Let me guess. They're all really stupid things that a normal person wouldn't know. I think we've learned something doing these Yahoo articles. They're always garbage. And they're always things people would know if they weren't just stupid. That's a good way to put it. I'm not even going to say anything.

I'm just going to zip my lip and wait until all five are out there. And I'll let the public decide if I'm correct on this. After you, sir. All right. Number one, always pay your student loans. Number two, if you have credit, use it.

Number three, be careful with home equity debt. Number four, file your taxes. Number five, know when to abandon a failing business venture. Yeah, so all these things are things that a smart person would have known. Yes.

Every single one. Yes, they are. I don't even have to go into explaining why. But there's real people behind these stories. There are no real people behind these stories. What about Nicole Gibbs? Do what? What about her?

What about her? There's even a What about her? What about her? There's even a picture of her. What about her? Do tell. She did not pay attention to the details on one of her student loans and had to default on it. To make matters worse, I did not realize that I had defaulted and I got a rapid refund for my tax return that year. So why would they interview an obvious simpleton? How do you not know what

your college loans say? Why take out a loan and then not understand the terms of your loan? That's just stupid. I don't know. But she did. And so she suffered for it. Again, she made her own problems. That's a life

lesson. So dumb. Is there anything else on Yahoo that's worth talking about right now? I refuse to give that She made her own problems. That's a life lesson. So dumb. So dumb. Is there anything else on Yahoo that's worth talking about right now? I refuse to give that story any credence. I'm just going to ignore it because that's stupid. Just stupid. I mean, we could talk about Celine Dion. Go on.

She wowed twice in one night. I don't know what that means. It just means she wore clothing that people were like, wow. What? What? That's what the article is hinting at. I'm sorry, is it? Let's go to the article. Go to the article.

It just shows a picture of her and a dress, and it says, Celine Dion has been MIA in recent months, but the Canadian Chanteux made a glamorous return to the red carpet late last week at the annual Bambi Awards. Chanteux. I can't say it. Hold on. The Canadian Chantier? Chantier. What? Send me this word.

What? The Canadian Chantier? Chantier. Holy crap, that is a word that doesn't exist. Chantiers? Chantuse. That's how you say it. According to Google, you say it as chanteuse.

What does that mean? What's the definition of that word? A female singer of popular songs, especially in a nightclub. What? Why not just say this famous Canadian songstress, this famous Canadian singer-songwriter. Why? Chantou. Oh, my God.

What kind of assholes write these articles? This is what happens when you're an English major and you have nothing better to do than work for Yahoo. This Canadian Chantou. Even then they use the thesaurus. Chantou. Oh, my God. All right. Yeah? Continue. She was looking elegant as ever. Chanteuse. Chanteuse. Oh, my God. All right, yeah?

Continue. She was looking elegant as ever. Selene entered the soiree in an off-the-shoulder J. Mendel gown, which was paired with diamond chandeliers. Oh, my God. We're in a war. We're actively in a war in Afghanistan, and this is what we're talking about. The Shentoo with her over-the-shoulder brooch and sequined gown

approached the soiree with elegance and style. Just shut up. Okay. Someone commented and said, She's got witch chin. They're doing our job for us is what's happening. They are. Oh, my goodness.

All right. Before we get to our big news story, I think it's time we go to chapter chapter seven with Crandor in the sky. Crandor, how's the traffic looking like out there? Well, it's not looking very good. There's chantours everywhere. I even saw some soirees going down the left lane. I mean, it's all I can see from here.

It's a cloudy day, so, uh, that's, I can't see very much. All right, thanks, Crendor. Now to Crendor at the weather desk. What's the weather All right, thanks, Crandor. Now to Crandor at the weather desk. What's the weather looking like out there, Crandor? Besides cloudy, of course, and filled with soirees and chanteuses. Well, I feel like since we already know what it's like here, we should go overseas again.

This time we're going to go to India. Oh, we're going to Bangalore? Where are we going? So, in Chandigarh, it is 18 degrees Celsius, and there is wind coming from the northeast at 3 kilometers per hour. 3 what? Klobber. Klobber. That's 3 klobbers per hour. There's a visibility of 2 kilometers.

2 klobbers. You can only see through 2 klobbers. Watch yourself. Watch yourself, India. It is rough out there. Two clobbers. You can only see through two clobbers. Watch yourself. Watch yourself, India. It is rough out there. You gotta watch it. Or you will get clobbered twice. All right, so what's going on over at the sports desk, Grandor?

Over at the sports desk, I just went to a fantasy site, and it turns out that Titus Young was purposely lined up in the wrong spot. What? Yep. I don't know what that means. Titus Young lined up in the wrong spot. Yes, okay, I understand that. They don't even say.

He doesn't give a reason. They gave him a one-week suspension, though. So he did it on purpose. I guess because he's just a dick. He's probably just angry at his playing time or something. Well, that's because he's no... You know what, Titus Young? You're no Jacoby Jones. I was about to say that.

I was about to say that. He's no Jacoby Jones. Ugh. Poor sportsmanship. All right. Now let's go to Crandall with the big news story. What's our big story today? Big news story is that ladies prefer thin over macho

did you make this story up respond where's the story from no this is on discovery news oh oh oh my okay continue women respond more to fatness and thinness, not macho features, when considering male mates. What? Yes. And it says that it says that macho features have long been touted as an evolutionary asset that heterosexual women look for in

potential mates, but new research suggests that weight may be a more powerful driver of attraction. Macho features such as a strong jaw and squinty eyes advertise that a guy possesses high testosterone. According to the... Uh... Something hypothesis that I can't remember.

No, no, no! You have to pronounce this! Immuno-competence handicap hypothesis. Good. Continue. Since high levels of this masculinizing hormone interfere with the immune system, the theory goes macho men must be extra fit to withstand the handicap their extra testosterone confers. However, a new study finds that while women do respond more favorably to faces and bodies of men with immune responses, they seem to cue into fatness and thinness, not macho features, when making their judgments.

Fatness, or adiposity, is an obvious choice for a marker of immunity because it's a strong association with health and immunity. In other words, women... Okay, continue. So, the results revealed that fatness as measured with facial adiposity was linked to both antibody response and attractiveness, with pudgier men both having weaker immune systems and being seen as less appealing by the fertile women.

A statistical analysis found that contrary to what the immunocompetence handicap would suggest, masculinity was not linked to either immune response or bodily or facial attractiveness. We found that a man's weight serves as a better indicator of the relationship between immune response and attractiveness than masculinity does. It is therefore more likely that Latvian response and attractiveness than masculinity does. It is therefore more likely that Latvian women use weight rather than masculinity in their subconscious judgments of a man and a woman. Hold up!

Hold up! Hold up! Okay! Okay! Alright! Hold the freaking phone! First off... Oh my god!

Okay, I was buying into this. I was buying into this. I was buying into this. I was buying into this. I was buying into this. I was buying into this. I was buying into this. I was buying into this. First off Oh my god Okay I was buying into this article I was like alright I'm going to ignore the fact that they're talking about How somehow women when they look at men

Determine whether he's Whether he has base immunities So like well He's overweight so clearly his immunity Is not up to par so I can't be with him. Like, I guess that's what they were going with. I don't know how that works. But then you said the best part of the entire story, and I quote, Latvian women.

Wait, so this study only applies to women in Latvia? Well, I may have skipped over. Yeah, you may have. You may have. All right, let's go back a little bit. Okay, slow it down and give it to me as is. Because apparently what you're telling me is women, rather than look at people based on sex appeal and say, like, wow, he's cute, decide whether they want to, like, get with a guy based on his immunity levels,

is what you're telling me. And so deep down inside, women judge men not on how they look, but on how much immunity they have. So continue, please. Well, here's the part I skipped over. Uh-huh. To test the evolutionary role of fat, Coetzee and his colleagues first photographed 69 Caucasian male volunteers in underwear.

They also measured the men's body fat and testosterone levels. About 65% were healthy weight, 4% underweight, and 30% overweight or obese. The men's immune system response was also measured with a blood test done before and after they received a vaccine for hepatitis B. Men with strong immune responses showed more antibody production after the vaccine than men with weak immune systems. Antibodies are the proteins that recognize and help neutralize foreign invaders in the body.

Next, 29 heterosexual Latvian women looked at the photographs of the men's faces and bodies separately and judged them on attractiveness. All of the women were in the fertile phases of their menstrual cycles, as judged by counting back from the last menstrual period to the day of ovulation. A separate group of 20 heterosexual Finnish men and women rated the men for masculinity, and 14 other Latvian women rated the men's facial fatness, or adiposity, which is highly related to overall body fatness. This is the single...

Listen, I'm all for this study. This is the single silliest thing I've ever heard. I'm... Being a thin person, I am all for this study. Here's the thing, though. I like studies that favor my life. This isn't... They're adding an entirely new level to something that's already a known fact.

Right? Like, if they just would have said, like, based on raw sex appeal, they would have got the exact same result. If they would have said based on, like, any amount of stats would have given them the same result. This has nothing to do with immune responses. There's nothing... Just because a woman's on her period doesn't mean she's like, I've got to find the most immune man possible.

Well, I think by looking at your physical attractiveness, it is measuring how well your immunity is at fighting off things. What does that matter? What woman is like, I can't beat him because

he will get me sick? Like, is that really what people are thinking? Well, it's because your child would have stronger immunity. First off, why would you date a woman when that's her first thought? Like, well, I don't want my children with him to have bad immunity. But it's in your subconscious. Oh, my God. You obviously didn't major in psychology.

Clearly I didn't. I didn't waste my time with that, no. No, I didn't. Well, I didn't either, but I took psychology classes. You were... I was in psychology 101, sir, and I know my psychology.

Yeah. And 102. Oh my god, alright. So take that. Wow. And 102. Oh my god. Alright. So take that. Wow. And I read the internet. This is again a study that they're associating two points

that should not be associated. Like yes, those people who are overweight have lower immunity system. Yes, women find overweight men less attractive. Yes, both of those are true. But it doesn't mean that they're true together. Like, it doesn't mean that somewhere a woman's like,

you know, that large gentleman, he certainly does have a poor immune system. That explains why I'm not attracted to him. No, you just aren't attracted to him. You don't find him physically attractive. There's a total disconnect there. I refuse to accept this study on the basis of, like, well, you know, women's bodies. I mean, they're crazy things. You don't even know what's going on in there.

Who knows what the hell's happening? Immunities? I mean, I don't even understand it. Well, do guys look at women the same way then? Again, again, why didn't it go the other way? Because if women are looking at men for immunity, then men are looking at women for what? Also immunity. No, no.

I guarantee that's not what we're thinking. I'm going to let the ladies know a secret guarantee that's not what we're thinking. I'm going to let the ladies know a secret. That's not what we're thinking. I don't look at a woman and go, I really like your immune system. Girl, I want to get up all in your immune system. Like, that's not what we're thinking. Like, damn, that girl got a fine immune system.

There's going to be some angry comments over this. It's like, you guys obviously do not understand science. You know what? Clearly I don't. I'll be the first to admit it on this one. This is science I don't get. Listen, I don't understand any of the science. I just know that the article favored my body type, and that's all I cared about.

I just look up things that favor my life, and I read them and feel happy. Oh, goodness. I just look up things that favor my life and I read them and feel happy oh goodness isn't that what we should all do you should just do it like a google like where it emails you articles that pertain to your interests so you don't even have to look up google will do it for you yeah and you just build your self esteem

and then you just feel really good and then everyone feels really good and then you just feel really good. And then everyone feels really good. And then we live in utopia. Yeah, utopia. Is that how we get there? Is that how we get to utopia? I think we get there through Celine Dion. And their shanties.

Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Is there anything else? Anything else with this article or any other stories? Oh my goodness. Is there anything else? Anything else with this article or any other stories? Um, I mean, there's a related article. About Bigfoot being part human. Holy crap.

The related article. The related article on Yahoo News to a woman being attracted to males because of their immunity is Bigfoot may be a human. This is not Yahoo. This is Discovery News. So can we conclude then that a skinnier Bigfoot would be more attractive to women than a fatter Bigfoot? Or, say, if a really buff Bigfoot, he then is less attractive than just a normal thin Bigfoot. Well, I mean, he's just got to be toned. Well, no, that's not what this article said.

This article said that they did not say that. It said that that had no basis in their thought. Well, that's good because that means they don't have to exercise. So it has no basis in their thought process. So a skinny Bigfoot, the Bigfoot who can't get any food because the other Bigfoots can crap out of him, he is more likely to mate with a human female. Yes. Good to know. Ladies, get on that.

Get with those Bigfoot feet. those Bigfoot feet. Because Bigfoot apparently, according to this Texas vet, claims that DNA work suggests Bigfoot is a human relative that arose 15,000 years ago.

Can I just say, one, thank you, Texas. Two, how did this person acquire Bigfoot DNA? Isn't it obvious? Is it? I don't know.

I was just hoping you had an answer. You explain so much. I like how the article is according to Bigfoot DNA no one questions how do you know it's Bigfoot DNA? Where did you acquire it? According to Draculafoot DNA, no one questions, how do you know it's Bigfoot DNA? Where did you acquire it? According to Dracula's DNA, he was a type O blood type.

Which is weird, because he drank all blood types. It's very strange. It doesn't just, it really doesn't make sense. According to the Wolfman's DNA, he was less wolf and more feral dog. Should explain why he was so angry at mailman. Stupidest. Oh my god. Any- oh, here we go. Any proof?

It's a fascinating theory. So where's the evidence? Well, there is none. Not yet, anyway. Ketchum's research has not appeared. His name is Ketchum. Like Ash Ketchum. Gotta catch them all!

He's gotta catch all the big feet. Ketchum's research has not appeared in any peer-reviewed scientific journal, and there's no indication when that might happen. If the data are good and the science is sound, any reputable science journal would jump at the chance to be the first to publish this groundbreaking information. But you can't have Bigfoot DNA without the presence of Bigfoot or evidence that a Bigfoot exists. This is a nonsense thing. Oh my god.

You're just a Bigfoot hater. Here's the best part. I'm going to tune into Coast to Coast AM and hear them be like, you know what? Big foot DNA. It's a thing. It's a thing. They exist. And the show has come full circle. It has come full circle. And that's the perfect time to end it.

Thank you guys for listening, for watching. We will see you tomorrow for our Big Friday show. And as always, to be continued.