Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Tuesday, December 18th
Episode Date: December 18, 2012Attention unaware self obsessed morons! This show is for you! Also Jesse and Crendor delve far to greedily and far too deep into the world of the McRib. Once you hear 10 "facts" about it - you'll neve...r want one again.... or in Crendor's case, go out to buy one right away.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trendog!
This is Trendog in the morning.
In the morning!
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live!
In 4-hour recording studios!
Recorded!
Wake your ass up!
It's the next Trendog in the morning!
Hello everybody, it's Tuesday. It's up next, Crendor, in the morning! Up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next, up next old. So, if anything, it's still relevant. Yes.
Good.
Hi, everybody.
It's Jesse,
and that is Crendor,
and this is the
Cox and Crendor show.
As you can see,
we're bad at entertainment.
I get nothing.
We really are.
We really are very bad at this.
We are.
But we keep doing it
because for some reason
we are watched on iTunes and everything.
We are honored and surprised.
Apparently we're on the front page.
Like iTunes made a logo for us for their front page.
They took our crappy son and made a legitimate logo.
They're like, what if we take these shitty people's logo
and like made it good?
And instead of
Cox and Crandor in the morning,
they named it
The Cox and Crandor Show,
which I'm okay with.
So that's why we're,
I'm just going to introduce us
as that for a while.
The Cox and Crandor Show?
It kind of makes a weird sense.
It is a show
and we're in it,
so it's good.
So the main reason
we're doing this
is to pass Chris Hardwick.
We're going to get you, Hardwick.
Then one day we'll tell people what to hashtag during The Walking Dead.
You'll be Softwick soon.
So stupid.
But I bet he got that a lot in school.
It's like, it's like Chris Softwick.
No, no, because that's really stupid.
But people are stupid.
Unless he went to a school for incredibly stupid people.
Which I'm not putting past him.
He is Chris Hardwick.
We're going to get you, Chris Hardwick!
So he went to a school in America?
Hey-o!
Did it.
Bang.
All right.
So we have a lot to talk about today.
Last night, because of my rave reviews of The Hobbit, you went and you saw it.
I did.
Was it not awesome?
It was like you described.
I was like, all right, I'm waiting for the slow part.
And I could see where people that weren't into Lord of the Rings
would feel like it's slow.
But who's not into Lord of the Rings?
Douchebags.
Exactly.
And then there's the people like it's like lord of the rings like
exactly that's the point why would i not like if it wasn't like lord of the rings then i'd be the
person be like this isn't like lord of the rings this sucks so screw you people that didn't like it
it was awesome loved it you right it did the same format as Lord of the Rings, where it just sets it up, and then it starts getting rolling.
And then by the end, it's just like, I want more.
I was happy that they pulled a next time on at the end of it.
The first Lord of the Rings movie, Fellowship of the Ring, just sort of ended.
They split up, and it was like, oh, Mr. Frodo, we've got so far to go.
And that was sort of the end of it.
And I was like, that was a really
shitty ending. But this one
was awesome because it was like, yo,
that dragon is right there. He's gonna
get you. Yeah.
And he's like, yo, I'm waking up. Right?
I like that. I liked all of it. I want to see
if other people saw this. At the
one part, it's at
the end when they're up in the trees.
His dagger is not glowing blue
even though there are orcs around he pulls it out of the wolf and it should
be blue because there's there's they are wolf orcs or whatever they are and it's
not blue but then in a little bit it is blue blue. Here's my thing. You're like that guy who's doing Braveheart.
The movie was ruined for him because in a battle scene, Mel Gibson's weapon switches three times.
Right?
And he's like, well, I can't watch that movie now because that's just stupid.
You're that guy who's like, his weapon wasn't blue.
It doesn't make any sense.
Like, how could that be a real thing? This clearly wasn't blue. It doesn't make any sense. I Like how could that be a real thing? I just really wasn't real life. I just enjoy accuracy. Oh, all right
Accuracy, I'm not being fully engulfed in the world because I feel the fakeness
Because the giant orcs riding wolves as they chase down little people
It's it's not real life. It's not real life.
It's a real fantasy world.
There's nothing real about that.
Just calling it a real fantasy world means it is not real.
You are a dream killer.
That's what this entire show is.
30 minutes of dream killing.
So today was an interesting day.
I had a realization that I don't know if I can say this about everyone in the world,
but I'm pretty sure at least the majority of people here in California,
if not all the United States, fall under the category of entirely self-absorbed.
Yes, I agree. Fall under the category of entirely self-absorbed. Yes.
I agree.
So, I'm at the grocery store buying juice.
Because, as you can tell, I'm a little under the weather.
My nose is stuffed up.
I'm kind of out of it.
So, I've been just OD'ing on all sorts of, like... What kind of juice did you buy?
These, like, real fruit juice ones that are, like...
I got another Power C machine made by
the nice folks over at Naked Fruit Juices.
I have tried those. Those are
good. I have also tried
the, whatever it is,
Farm Brand. That's also a good one. Those are also
very good as well. The problem is they're ridiculously
expensive. Just like
overly expensive. But this
one has five strawberries, one and a half
guavas, one and a half apples,
one and a half, a half orange, a half a peach and a half a mango all inside. It's very nice.
And so I was like, this should help me get better. And so I got two of those. And so I've been
drinking those today. They are the thickest drinks I've ever had in my life. That's, that means it's
working. Is that what that means? Yes It's like drinking paste
Anyway, while I'm there though
I'm trying to leave
And there's this woman and her friend
Standing in the doorway to get out of the grocery store
Right?
And they're talking with their friend
Who's inside, further inside
And they're like yelling at her
Like, come on, come on, come on
She's like, no, I'm gonna pick this stuff up
I'm like, oh my god
And they start talking to each other about how inconsiderate her
friend is while they're standing in the doorway blocking it from everyone else getting through
and i say excuse me and they look at me like i have ruined their day
oh look at this asshole and so i walk out and i get into my car and as i'm driving away
i i i there's a stop sign there.
So my windows are down and I roll up and they're sitting on the corner talking about how much of like just a total snob their friend is.
And how she only thinks of herself and how she's always just in everyone's way and they have to like always tiptoe around her.
And I was like, are you not self-aware?
Do you not see yourselves?
It was amazing. And the problem is that happens all the time. Do you not see yourselves? People don't look in the mirror unless it's after their plastic surgery.
It was amazing.
And the problem is that happens all the time.
So I'm driving home, and a guy turns, almost careens into a car in front of me, doesn't even stop.
It's like he was going to keep going, and if he hit the car, tough ta-tas.
Like, people just don't care.
No one seems to care anymore.
What is happening to this world?
Is that the same grocery store where that Indian dress-wearing lady...
Yes, it's the exact same one.
Crennor and I were hanging out a couple weekends ago
and we went to
this grocery store, the same one,
and this woman who was
definitely not Native American
driving a car with a dream catcher in it, wearing
an outfit that was like what you would see in a really bad Wild West show.
Yeah.
That was like fake Indian.
So basically just a wannabe hippie cuts us off, then drives into the parking spot we
were going to park in.
So we parked next to her, and I think she thought we were going to kill her.
You were pretty angry.
I was mad because she did cut us off for, like, no reason.
It wasn't even like she cut us off.
She drove into the oncoming traffic lane to cut us off.
It was amazing, and the best part was she could have just waited, like, one or two minutes, like we were doing.
But no, she had to get there that fast.
So we pull up alongside of her, and she gives us this glare of like oh my god please don't kill me
like she knew what she did was wrong but she still did it anyway maybe we taught her a lesson
well thing is we didn't even look at her we got out of the car and just went inside and then while
we're inside she was just walking around with this giant like moccasin out it was amazing i was like this is this is la
full of people who are so full of themselves that no one else matters and it makes me wonder if
because i i've experienced that in the rest of the country i know it's not just an la thing
but here it's like magnified times a thousand yeah it's horrifying if that's this country
no wonder we're doomed i for one, again, welcome our robot Mayan overlords
They would set us straight
They would
The trains, taxis, buses, and subways would all run on time
They would run also on Mayan corn fuel
It's that ethanol, man
Yes
It's all a sign
It's all a sign Or It's all a sign.
Or as they call it, maize and all.
Yes, that's what it'll be.
Maize and all.
The strongest oil.
That's what they run with.
In essence, we've been creating the robot overlord's power source.
Oh, my God.
It's all been a conspiracy from the beginning.
I knew it.
Barack Obama, I bet in his name it spells robot somewhere
without a T. Alright, let's take
a look at this. Barack
Obama.
It clearly doesn't.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6. There's 11 letters
in his name.
If you take...
How many letters are in robot?
R-O-B-O-T.
Five.
Which is five in Obama.
So we're already halfway there.
Wait.
There's five letters in Mayan.
But the C and the K could be combined.
And it could be Mayans.
It could.
The Mayans.
And so that means...
Robot Mayans.
Barack Obama.
Oh, my God.
It's all coming together.
He paved the way for our robot masters.
They've been planning it since the collapse of their empire.
It's revenge.
Montezuma's revenge.
Alright, enough of that.
Let's go to Crendor in the Sky in Chapter 7.
Crendor, how is the traffic looking outside?
Uh, the traffic today is like it is every day it's moving if it's not moving
then something's wrong kind of like your great uncle jason who is suffering from five broken
legs and a heart attack anyway you can take the i-54 loop around to the back entrance of the
waffle house that's a good direction to go. Really?
Five broken legs?
I'm pretty sure the problem isn't that they're
broken, but that he has them.
Well, he's special.
Well, you know what?
Everyone has a special uncle.
Yours might as well have five legs.
We all have our differences.
That's what makes us unique, and that's
what makes us human. Some of us are comedians. Some of us are great at piano. Some of us have five differences. That's what makes us unique, and that's what makes us human.
Some of us are comedians.
Some of us are great at piano.
Some of us have five legs.
Exactly.
And some of us are extremely untalented radio show hosts.
All right.
Now let's go to Krendor at the weather desk.
Krendor, how's the weather out there?
All right. Well, today's weather is going to be from the amazing city of Mount Marion, New York.
And it's going to be-
I want to know the Twitter feeds from there.
I'll be honest with you.
I don't really care about the weather.
I want to know what's happening.
I want to know what's happening on the ground in Mount Marion.
But we'll do the weather.
It's 41 degrees there, Fahrenheit, and raining, light rain.
There's a lot of rain.
So trending is rain. Also's a lot of rain so trending is rain
Also trending is raining and then snow and let's take a look at some local tweets
Elmer says there is almost nothing worse than walking home from the library alone in the pouring rain at 2 30 in the morning
That was 19 seconds ago. That is a late library
That was 19 seconds ago.
That is a late library.
That is a very late library. What kind of library stays open that late?
I don't know.
The best damn library ever, that's what.
Camore05 says, I love the sleeping to the sound of this rain.
A, weird symbol, weird symbol, weird symbol, A, weird symbol, question mark, weird symbol, VF.
What? I don't know she was she sleeping when she wrote that because that sounds like gibberish i think
she may be a mayan robot in disguise spying on us it's a signal yeah crazy white boy says i wish i
had a blunt vending machine in my house so i didn't have to run to the store in the rain. What?
I wish. That is borderline honey boo boo talk.
I wish I had a blunt vending machine in my house so I didn't have to go to the store.
Of all the vending machines you could want in your house, a blunt vending machine. I don't even know what that is. Well, there's many different types of
blunts, but I assume he's referring to those really awful cigarettes
that are like 40 cents a piece,
and they only sell them by themselves.
Oh.
And they're flavored like cherry flavor.
You know, because that's a thing people need.
Oh.
I'm not saying it's very white trash,
but it's definitely a white trash thing.
Well, we've now learned about the people of mount
mary in new york and that brings us to sports what's happening in the world of sports well
yesterday there was a player on the st louis rams named danny amandola and he managed to score a
touchdown for the st louis rams who are really bad actually there's they're not terrible but
they're is that the news story a guy scored a touchdown for the rams like are really bad actually there's they're not terrible but they're is that the news story
a guy scored a touchdown for the rams like that's newsworthy but he spiked the ball and the ball
hit the sideline ticket guy uh-huh in the face uh-huh and he stood there in pain and so a little
while later he went and gave the ball to the guy but it wasn't the same guy because that guy had left.
He didn't even recognize him.
Yeah.
He shows you how much you're appreciated.
Mm-hmm.
You're a guy.
Here, have a ball.
Yep.
And the Jets lost, and they're out of the playoffs because they're the Jets.
What about the Sharks?
Did the Sharks win?
The Sharks?
I know their rivals. The Sharks? That the Sharks win? The Sharks? I know their rivals.
The Sharks?
That's a musical joke.
The ladies got it.
I don't watch musicals except for Les Miserables.
Wait, so you'd watch that,
but you wouldn't watch West Side Story, huh?
Oh, I've seen that in, like, fourth grade.
Let it sink in.
You'll get it.
I saw one of those in fourth grade, and I saw Les Miserables in like seventh grade.
I don't really remember anything about them.
Les Miserables.
I like your...
Les Miserables?
I said Les Miserables.
Miserables.
That's what you got to do with all the French things.
Right.
Right.
Pronounce them incorrectly.
Done and done.
Like if it's, uh, hello, how are you doing?
It's hello, how are you doing?
You just make it sound French.
Perfect.
That's sports.
All right, now let's go to our big new story of the day.
What do we got?
Okay, this is an amazing story I found.
11 amazing, 11, I'm so excited I can't even read it. What do we got? Okay, this is an amazing story I found. Eleven amazing... Eleven...
I'm so excited I can't even read it.
Eleven amazing facts about the McRib.
Yes!
Oh, thank you, God.
I knew one day something this amazing would come in front of us.
Mm-hmm.
I was so excited.
The McDonald's McRib is back, hitting restaurants nationwide today.
The legendary boneless pork sandwich famously molded to resemble a rack of ribs.
This is both a feat of modern engineering and shrewd marketing.
What?
It is neither of those things.
It's a horrifying example of what people will eat when they have nothing better to do and spend their money on.
It's a Frankenstein sandwich.
It is.
It's the Frankenstein of sandwiches.
It garners almost as much attention for its pseudo-meat shape as its impermanence on restaurant menus.
The barbecue sauce smothered sandwich was supposed to return at the end of October,
but was pushed back to help boost end-of-the-year sales.
Better late than never.
Here we go.
Number one.
The McRib came about because of a shortage of chickens.
In 2009,
in an interview with Maxim,
Rene Aron, McDonald's first executive
chef and inventor of the chicken McNugget,
explains that the McNugget
was so popular when it was first introduced
in 1979 that demand quickly
outstripped chicken supply.
The legendary pork sandwich was developed out of necessity.
Franchises that didn't have the Chicken McNugget needed a new hot selling product and that's when RN scrambled back to the test kitchen.
Chicken mash into a nugget form was outselling everything else.
So then they said what
else can we mash into various forms let's get pork byproduct sure okay
exact I like how this guy is the executive chef of McDonald's like what
kind of a track record is that like where were you chef at I was the head
chef at McDonald's I invented the chicken McNugget? He really didn't invent anything. Really.
He pretty much was like, hey, what if we
got some crappy meat
and diseased chickens and kind of
just smashed it all into some
fatty, salty, deep-fried
thing? Tastes
delicious!
Number two.
The McRib was inspired by
Southern Barbecue. Renee R.N. modeled the McRib was inspired by Southern barbecue.
Rene Aran modeled the McRib after the...
What else would it be inspired by?
Well, he modeled the McRib after the barbecue sauce slathered pork sandwiches
he ate during a visit to Charleston, South Carolina.
Oh, of course.
The decorated French-trained chef who once whipped up a fancy culinary creation
for the Drake Hotel is also credited
with coming up with the unique shape of the sandwich.
You know, this is mildly like that story of that woman in, I think it was Spain or Portugal.
There was a painting of Jesus, and she took it upon herself to touch up that painting,
and it just was ten times worse.
And look, a little kid had drawn it.
It's just like that.
He's like, I'm going to create a pork sandwich,
but it will be the most horrid thing ever.
It's the equivalent of, like, making a burrito.
Being like, I'm going to make a burrito.
And then instead of, like, rice and beans
and, like, good ingredients,
you use, like, cornstarch, like, raisins.
What?
This is horrible.
Even my stretch of a Jesus thing was better than this.
Well.
It's like you make a burrito and you put cornstarch and raisins in it.
What the hell does that even mean?
Cornstarch, raisins. Have you ever had a bucket of cornstarch where you like...
Raisins? No.
No, I haven't.
Well.
That's the stupidest thing I've ever said.
Like a bucket
of cornstarch and raisins.
Oh, have you ever
had cornstarch and then you hit it
and then it doesn't, like... What?
No! No, I've never done this!
That's a science thing people do.
Where, like, if you put your hand in it,
then it lets you...
It's like water. But if you try to
hit it, it's like a brick.
Oh, I do know what you're talking about.
Yes. I don't know how that applies
to what we're talking about, but I know what you're talking about.
I don't know. Cornstarch made me're talking about, but I know what you're talking about. I don't know.
Cornstarch made me think of that.
That's good.
All right.
Next.
Number three.
The McRib is a product of restricted meat technology.
This should not be a thing.
It is.
It's the Franken-sandwich.
It is. This should not be a thing.
Rene Arend came up with the idea And design of the McRib
But it's a professor from the University of Nebraska
Named Richard Mandingo
Mandingo?
Holy shit
Only someone named Richard
His name is
Dick Mandingo
Are you kidding me holy
dude is named dick dick mandingo designed
a guy named dick mandingo designed the McRib.
I just want to put that out there.
Well, he didn't design the McRib.
He developed the restructured meat product.
I bet he's used to handling meat.
According to an article from Chicago Magazine, which cites a 1995 article by Mandingo,
restructured meat product contains a mixture of tripe, heart, and scalded stomach,
which is then mixed with salt and water to extract proteins from the muscle.
The proteins bind all the pork trimmings together so that it can be remolded into any specific shape,
in this case, a fake slab of ribs.
Okay, so one, you're not eating ribs.
Two, you're eating tripe, stomach, and what else?
Heart.
Heart.
So for people who say that they've never eaten heart, tripe, or stomach before,
and they're like, ooh, that sounds gross, you've eaten a McRib, you've eaten that.
Mm-hmm.
So technically, you're more...
Cultured.
That's it. You're more cultured. That's it.
You're more cultured eater than everybody else.
Eater?
More cultured eater.
You're more cultured eater than everybody else.
Number four.
The whole process from fresh pork to frozen
McRib takes 45 minutes. Director of McDonald's U.S. supply chain Rob Connell explained how
regular pig gets transformed into the famed McRib in an interview. The McRib is made in
large processing plants, lots of stainless steel, a number of production lines, and these
long cryogenic freezers. The pork meat is chopped up,
then seasoned, then formed into that shape
that looks like a rib back.
Then we flash freeze it. The whole process
from fresh pork to frozen McRib
takes about 45 minutes.
Is this article supposed to make us
want a McRib?
It sounds like the single most least
appetizing thing in the world.
I kind of want one right now.
Like if there was a McRib in front of me right now.
Nothing makes me more hungry than hearing the words stainless steel, cryogenics, and flash freezing when talking about a meat byproduct.
So hungry.
If there was a McRib in front of me right now, I would eat it.
The entire McRib, this is number five, the entire McRib sandwich contains about 70 ingredients,
including a flour bleaching agent used in yoga mats.
What?
So at least you can say you're doing yoga when you eat a McRib.
That's true.
You're doing all the yoga.
You're doing yoga so much you're eating the mat.
Exactly. That's how dedicated you're eating the mat. Exactly.
That's how dedicated you are.
Very dedicated.
Coming soon to McDonald's, the downward-facing dog sandwich.
Whisperer.
All yoga mats are in that sandwich.
Every yoga mat, especially used ones.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
As it appears out of the box,
the McRib sandwich consists of just five
basic components. A pork patty, barbecue sauce,
pickle slices, onions, and a sesame bun.
But, as recently reported
by Time Magazine, a closer inspection of
McDonald's own ingredient list reveals that the pork
sandwich contains a total of 70 ingredients.
This includes
azodicarbonamide, a floor bleaching agent often used in the product of foam plastics.
Oh, wonderful.
The sandwich packs a whopping 500 calories, 26 grams of fat, 44 grams of carbs, and 980 milligrams of sodium.
That sounds delish.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-mm.
I need me one of them.
Six.
Delish.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-mm.
I need me one of them.
McRib debuted in 1981, disappeared in 85, and has resurfaced from time to time since 94.
Depending on where you read McDonald's. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
The McRib 81 you said?
Debuted in 81.
I did not know that.
I guess because it disappeared for so long, I thought it only came out in the 90s.
Nope.
Disappeared in 85 and then 94 came back.
Wow.
Yep.
That's definitely a thing.
Learning things here.
I guess.
I'm not sure this is something you should learn.
I think this is taking up valuable brain space, but okay.
Number seven.
Individual restaurants can actually order the ingredients for the McRib at any time.
The McRib pops up at McDonald's locations across the country sporadically.
It's so random because the individual restaurants are able to offer the McRib whenever they feel like.
The practice has even inspired websites devoted to tracking McRib availability across the nation.
Otherwise known as Lonely Men websites.
Well, I gotta look at this McRib.
You are not. Tracker. I bet it's. McRib gotta look at this McRib. You are not.
Tracker.
I bet it's.
McRib locator map.
McRib earrings.
Oh, no.
Oh, wow.
It's everywhere now.
It's kind of like Santa when Norad tracks Santa at Christmas Eve.
It's just like that.
It is.
Norad has an entire division devoted to just tracking the McRib.
It is.
NORAD has an entire division devoted to just tracking the McRib.
It has a little thing you can fill out to say that you've seen the McRib location.
Oh, wow.
Well.
And if you want, you can look at their blog about McRibs.
Oh, my God.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Read us a blog entry about the McRibs. How about 101 reasons to eat a McRib?
Taste infinity.
Not just pork, real pork.
Not just real pork, tender real pork.
Not just tender real pork, juicy tender real pork.
We could do this all day.
That's not even true.
We just learned that wasn't true.
That was number 69 on the list.
Hey-o!
Number 8.
McDonald's keeps the McRibs scarce.
Oh, wait.
Scarce!
I even know what it is.
Is this the same guy that used this word in the last article?
It's the same guy.
Damn it.
Oh, God.
Keeps McRib scarce because the sandwich's entire brand relies on it.
McDonald's has always known about its customers' weird obsession for the sandwich,
and its marketing completely leverages the McRib's scarcity.
Take its Save the McRib campaign in 2010,
where it encouraged McRib fans to go online and sign a petition to keep the sandwich around longer.
But a strategy like that only
works with something that's a popular
as popular as McRib.
That is so weird. So weird.
I do not understand the fascination with this
sandwich. I've had it once and
I've never eaten it again. It is
borderline disgusting.
I mainly just like the barbecue sauce I think.
Like if they put that barbecue sauce on a McChicken,
I would just eat the McChicken.
I'm sure you can get something like that.
I hope so.
Can I just go there and be like,
hey, can I get McRib sauce?
Having worked at a McDonald's for a year in high school,
I can tell you exactly how they're made.
The McRibs, once you get them out of the package,
they're the frozen patty things, right?
Mm-hmm.
In order to cook them, they just have a vat of barbecue sauce and just dunk them in there
and let them cook in the barbecue sauce.
I see.
Which means that the barbecue sauce you got would have McRib flavor in it.
Oh my, I need to try getting this.
You would have a chicken sandwich
flavored with McRib barbecue sauce.
That is American. I'm just saying
that is American.
If you could make some sort of
Oh man. Okay. Okay. Are you aware
of the existence of the McGangbang?
Mm-hmm. Where it's
it's you take a double cheeseburger
you open it up and stick a fish sandwich inside the
double cheeseburger. Yes? I up and stick a fish sandwich inside the double cheeseburger. Yes?
I thought it was a McChicken.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
You're right.
It's a McChicken.
The fish one is chicken and fish, but I don't remember what that one's called.
No, you're right.
You're absolutely right.
What if you took a double cheeseburger, put a chicken patty in it, and then in that chicken patty, put a McRib.
And then covered it all in barbecue sauce.
Wow.
I feel like that's a challenge.
And then deep fry it.
Oh, my God.
Then deep fry it.
I feel like we would get arrested.
I feel like they would call the cops on us because they thought we were joking.
But I feel like this is a mission for us.
They would arrest us.
They'd be like, we're not going to allow you to eat that.
That's a crime.
No, they wouldn't.
That's like an attempt at suicide.
If anything, McDonald's would promote that.
They would.
Get the new all-American meal.
Oh, my God.
When I went to the movie theater tonight, they gave me a small drink and it was like a big gulp.
Right?
The medium is like a bucket.
And then the large is just a bat.
It's a swing pool.
They let you swim in a pool of soda while you watch the movie.
It is.
Yep.
Number nine.
It'd be incredibly difficult for McDonald's to create more McRib-esque products
because that cult-like following is so hard to replicate.
McRib lovers are mad at them.
So they just stopped creating new stuff.
Like, look, the McRib was the pinnacle of what we can do.
They just start basing things off the McRib.
Like, McRib with chicken.
McRib McNuggets.
It's like, hey, you want chicken nuggets, but McRib inside of it instead of chicken?
Oh, I thought you were going to make, I thought you were talking about making everything in the shape of a McRib.
Oh.
Just as effective, I'm just saying.
The chicken McRib.
Nothing's more delicious than chicken ribs.
Made of chicken heart, chicken beak, and chicken testicles.
Oh, chicken beak and testicles.
My favorite.
Mm-hmm.
That's what they call cock and balls.
Hey-oh!
Oh!
Well-timed, sir. Well-timed. Well timed.
Thank you.
Number 10.
There's also speculation that the McRib is really just a big commodity trade by McDonald's.
What?
The all-Willy Staley argues that whenever the sandwich springs up,
hog prices are almost always in a trough.
Trough?
Trough.
Here's more of his argument on why McDonald's behaves like a traitor.
Fast food involves both hideously violent economies of scale
and sad, sad end users who volunteer to be taken advantage of.
What makes the McRib different from this everyday whore
is that A, McDonald's is a huge, to the point...
What the hell kind of writing is this?
Go on
It's made of pork which makes it a unique product in the QSR world
And see it is only available sometimes but refuses to go away entirely
And they show a graph of what I think would be pork availability
And it seems the McRib gets sold when there's low pork availability.
Well, that's because they have to use what's left of the pork.
Yes.
They sell it to McDonald's, and that's all.
Yeah, it makes sense.
It makes sense.
Oh, we're learning things.
I've learned nothing.
Number 11, animal rights group sues McRib meat supplier
over inhumane treatment of pigs.
Not everyone is ecstatic about the return of the McRib.
Last November, the Humane Society of the United States
filed a lawsuit against Smithfield Foods,
the pork supplier of McDonald's McRib meat,
claiming that the meat distributor houses its pigs in unethical farm conditions.
What? Are you saying that pig product that's sold to you for like 99 cents
is farmed unethically in a way that wouldn't be cheap?
That makes no sense at all.
But all their other products are treated so well.
Yes, those chickens that are born without beaks and wings certainly are created very well.
A 2010 undercover investigation by the Animal Rights Group shows pigs crammed into a gestation crate
covered in blood and baby pigs being tossed into carts like ragdolls.
Wow.
That is a thing.
Yup.
That's how we're going to end this?
No.
The top comment is, can I pay with restructured money?
Or eat the box.
It's better for you.
And that is disturbingly the end of this episode hooray
thank you guys for listening and we will be back tomorrow for another cox and crendor in the
morning i'm jesse that's crendor and as always to be continued Dude.