Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor: Monday, February 25th 2013

Episode Date: February 25, 2013

It's Monday! Time for another week of Cox n' Cendor! Say, have you ever had a crazy dream? Have you ever had a crazy dream..... ON WEEEEED?!? Also Crendor lets us know all those health tips you've learned over the years are totally wrong, and Florida man returns!

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trending! Ghost on Trending in the morning! In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Hit me! Wake your ass up!

It's Ghost on Trending in the morning! Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me! Ghost on Trending in the morning! Hellouppet Puppet Puppet Puppet! We're going to the party! Hello everybody, it's Monday! It's Monday! It is Monday, that is correct! The aforementioned day is accurate! Has tried to drink this Mexican Coke, and like...

Like swallowing the bottle? What were you doing? You know where you like take a drink of it, and then you kind of like do it too fast and the bubbles like bubble up and then it's just like Um, are we talking about the same thing? I just did it again. Look it's going up! Someone please take that out of context. Thank you. Uh, how's it going?

It's the start of a new week. Yeah hi everybody. You're probably all off to school, off to work, off to meet the woman who is, I don't know, going to be your future wife. Or spend your life with her. Or you're going to buy candles. Or you're going to buy deodorant. Or you're going to buy a case of New Mexican fresh pepper jack cheese. Right now, there's one person buying all three of those things. He's like, holy shit.

They're talking about me, man. He's so excited. And he just so happens to listen to our podcast. That's true. Can I also thank these people? Thank you, The Leglinare, my longtime. The Legolier? The Leg-Lenaire? The Leg-Lenaire.

Leg-Lenaire? The Leg-Lenaire. Legolas? Yeah, Legolas. Thank you, Legolas. He sent Polish sausage and says the little card says- Polish sausage. Wait, wait. Is it real sausage? Yeah. It's like, it's like, you know,

it's worse. He sent you sausage in the mail? Yeah, in my P.O. box. How did that go bad? That is, Polly Sausage is very sturdy sausage. If you want to send stuff to my P.O. box, you can go to youtube.com slash wildcranenorths on the channel page. Send me, send me. Look, look. I want your meats.

What do I have to do to get your meat? He'll do anything. I will do anything for meat He really will But Legolas Yeah, he wrote Have some Polish sausage Made specially by Ditka

Is it really Ditka's sausage? I think it is Are you gonna eat Ditka's sausage? I mean, who wouldn't? And then Thank you You're welcome, internet Thank you, Amelia Cox Are you gonna eat dick as sausage? I mean, who wouldn't? And then, thank you. You're welcome, internet. Thank you, Amelia Cox, who has the same last name as you.

She's my sister-in-law, or wife. One of the two. One of the two. She may be from the future. Maybe both. She may be from the future. Oh my god, she's my daughter? I don't know, but...

You're illegitimate is what you are she sent me a squishable Cthulhu which is awesome and I accept all squishables that's cute I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad you got that ladies I will also accept Yeah. Right? Ladies? Ladies? Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Hey, ladies! All right. So we've gotten a lot of articles this week sent to us about Florida.

Apparently you guys love Florida, man. Who doesn't? And I don't even know where we should start. I don't either. Honestly. There's a million of them. There's this one. I think this is my favorite story because the headline is, it's like butter.

It's smooth like butter. Mm-hmm. Florida man torched girlfriend's car, then had sex with her on a beach. Mm-hmm. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have a tale of modern love, Florida style. Police in Jacksonville, Florida on Monday arrested David Charles Iupi

after they say he set fire to his girlfriend's car during a domestic dispute. But that didn't stop them from making up and then having sex on a beach in the middle of the afternoon in plain view of everyone else. Iupi, 29 29 is facing charges of arson to a vehicle and exposure of sexual organs.

His lady friend, 31-year-old Kathy Lynn Grununi, faces a latter charge as well as a count of resisting an officer. So I imagine the sex was so good, she was like, get off of me and you get back on me. That's how I imagine the scene went down. So it's Iuni and Groopie? It's Iupi. No. No. God, you're so dumb.

It's Iupi and Granuni. Oh. It looks like their names are Eye Puppy and Granola. Coming to small from Apple, Eye Puppy. Eye Puppy. But it looks less like Eye Puppy, more like Eye Poppy. Like that. Send your angry letters to Wild Crandor.

So, police say the two were having an argument in the vehicle just before 6 p.m. on Monday. Granola left the car and started walking towards on Monday. Grignione left the car and started walking towards the beach. That's when Ayoubi followed her. But, not before setting the car on fire. Police were called out when the two were caught later having sex just a few

minutes after they had burned the car to the ground. Right on the beach, in front of everyone. And then, of course, the article, I think we're starting a trend, the article in a legit news outlet lists at the very bottom a link to Florida Man. Of course. The greatest Twitter ever. Ever, really. Ever. I think there's no competition for his Twitter.

You go there immediately and the first thing you see is, Florida Man traps ex-girlfriend's mother into a fold-out couch. How does that even happen? She's just like sleeping. I imagine she's on the couch and then he just like jump kicks her until the couch compresses her and just folds up

in her. And he's like, I saw that at a movie. Oh my God. There's one Florida man with monkey in his truck arrested for DUI. Please God, let it be the monkey. Like, sir, you realize you're drunk. He's like, but the monkey's driving.

He's my designated driver. The monkey's just like, whoa. The monkey's like, by Jove, officer. Can't a simple chimpanzee make his way to the pharmacy? I wish to procure some Mexican Coke. We also got Florida Man arrested for making his kids ride a manatee calf. Making? She made them.

You're gonna ride it. You're gonna like it. Apparently, barefoot Florida man steals two cases of mozzarella from Pizza Hut. He just went in and was like, give me the mozzarella. I imagine he just melted it all in a bowl.

Just ate it. He's like, oh, jeez. Oh, yeah, I'm going to eat it all. There's also this one, which is probably my favorite. High on synthetic weed. So, this one, which is probably my favorite. High on synthetic weed, Florida man calls 911 twice to report that his dreams are real. What? Gotta read this one.

What? My dreams are real? He might be the most profound person who ever lived. He might be. Don't you get it? The dreams are reality, man. This is like the new David Lynch. Holy crap. Plus it's synthetic weed.

This is stuff people made. Like, real weed wasn't even good enough. Like, look, I made this weed in my basement, bro. It's like, bro, the stuff you get out from the earth, that's like plants, man. You gotta make the good stuff. How messed up are we as a society when you can literally go grow weed in a pot? And this guy's like, I bought synthetic weed, man. They made it in the lab. And this guy's like, I bought synthetic weed, man! They made it into lab!

It's awesome! Well, on Sunday night, Welch believed whatever occurred in that dream he had was really happening. Wait, do we not know? We don't know, apparently. Oh, no! Oh, that's like the linchpin of the story. Okay, continue.

That's some fail reporting right there. They should have figured that out first. Yeah. His family didn't believe him, so he called 911, of course. The dispatcher asked Welch what was going on. Something happened in my dream, and it's actually happening, Welch replied. Dispatcher again asked what was happening. Everything that happened today is actually in my dream, and I want to prove it to everybody, Welch said.

What did you dream about that's happening, the dispatcher asked. It's all on paper. I wrote it down. I almost fell out of my chair! What? Wait. Wait, it's on paper, though. So he... Like, why wouldn't you...

Why don't we have it? I don't... That has to be. Like, what... Holy crap, you realize that this was a movie. He would be the hero. And what was ever on that paper, that would be like a nuclear code or something.

And the cops would be pretty much the bad guys trying to chase him. This would be the hero. And what was ever on that paper, that would be like a nuclear code or something. And the cops would be pretty much the bad guys trying to chase him. This would be a thriller. This would be a novel that was adapted. This would be a John Grisham is what this would be. I need to write this book now. This would be a John Grisham book. A guy who had a dream, and then the next day that dream was actually happening. Holy crap. What if, wait, hold on.

What if all of this is part of his dream? This very podcast, what we're doing right now, he dreamed it. Oh! That dude was high. High as a kite. Well, they

responded to Welch's Orange City home and found that he was confused he didn't need any medical attention the sheriff's office reported the deputy told welch not to call 9-1-1 again unless he had an emergency the sheriff's office said welch's parents hid the phone so he wouldn't call authorities again why don't they just not let him smoke pot at home? I don't know. What is going on there? Maybe they don't know. This is one of those cases where he's like, I learned it from you, Dad!

Dad's like, this is a dream I had. But about 40 minutes after the first call, Welch went to a neighbor's home and called 911 again. Another dispatcher asked Welch what to a neighbor's home and called 911 again. Another dispatcher asked Welch what would be the emergency. Why did the neighbor allow him in the house? It's probably his friend.

It's just like. Wait, so it's probably the guy who gave him. They're probably both high as a kite. And he's like, dude, my dreams are real, man. And his friend's like, I know. Get in here. Dude, it's all coming. It's the apocalypse.

They're hiding under the bed with a phone. Like, you called. Oh, man. I coming says the apocalypse. They're hiding under the bed with the phone like you go No, man, I can hear the tone I can hear the tones calling me Like you call and every time they press a button. It's like The officer told me not to call back. And he said if I call back... Wait, is that what he said? Yeah. And he said if I call back, then y'all are going to take me to court.

So I'm calling back. I have to prove something. Holy shit, it is a movie! This is a movie! The dispatcher asked... I have to prove... I have to prove something. Of course he does.

Of course. Because you want to go to jail, the dispatcher asked. Welch replied, I have to prove something to my family. Welch admitted he had no emergency, but the sheriff's office again dispatched a deputy. The same deputy responded to Welch's home and arrested him. You know that guy was super pissed, like, son of a bitch, fucking pothead. I swear to God, every damn day, back in the same stupid-ass neighborhood, I swear to God, one of these days, I'm going to take my club and beat the shit out of someone. I swear to God.

He's like three days from retirement, too. Son of a bitch, I'm'm getting too old for this shit. Well, he was arrested for misusing the 911 system and was booked to the county jail with a bail set at $500. Classy. Classy. Florida man. Florida man.

All right. Well, that's a good time then to head to Chopped a Copter in the Sky with Crandor. Number seven, I guess it is. Let's go to Chopped a Copter six today. Oh, that's a good idea. Since I forgot the number, Chopped a Copter six I assume is an upgraded one or a worse one. I don't know, but I assume it has two propellers. It does.

Let's go there. Wow, today with this new chapter copter, it's pretty crazy. Our money we make is really helping pay for these high-quality things we get for our program. See, looking on down there, I see a guy chasing another guy. I see a guy chasing another guy. It appears that he set his car on fire, and now he's trying to get that guy's Mexican Coke. So, I mean, he's got a good excuse.

Then it appears there's two people having a sword fight. They are both dressed in medieval costumes, and they are by the I-55. You may want to ignore that if you want to not see any crazy things today, but I don't know. Sometimes you gotta see those things to realize that if you want to not see any crazy things today, but I don't know. Sometimes you got to see those things to realize that your life's pretty normal. Back to you. Thanks, Crendor.

Now let's go over to Crendor at the weather desk. Crendor, what's going on in the weather? I kind of feel bad for some places because... What? How's that the start of a weather? You know what? Today in the weather, I feel really bad for some of you. Because... What? Because, like, we don't weather, I feel really bad for some of you. Because.

What? Because, like, we don't go to their cities, and they really want us to. Well, then go to one of their cities. Throw them a bone. All right. Throw them a Polish sausage, if you will. Is there a place called Polish sausage? Pretty sure that's not a place. It's in Polish, and the only place is Polish Pines Country Club in West Virginia.

We can go to West Virginia. We can. In Polish Pines Country Club. Just in the country club. Yes. Look, if you live on the country club property, this is relevant to you. It is 24 degrees Fahrenheit, 3 mile per hour winds, north-northwest, 10 mile visibility, 30.16 inches of pressure, 90% humidity. It is humid

and, uh... I just imagine there's an old groundskeeper like, they're talking about me! Oh, the weather's gonna get bad! And little chipmunks like, chip, chip, chip, chip! And he's like, okay, Mr. Chibbers, let's go! That's how I imagine

West Virginia's country clubs are. Wait, is Polish Pine... Where is... I am excited now. Polish Pines, they have a website. The best walking course in the area. What's the area? Kaiser, West Virginia.

I don't know. The Kaiser! Okay, Kaiser. Better go to the Kaiser, West Virginia. It is near... Give me a major city that I't know. The Kaiser. Okay. The Kaiser. Vertical to the Kaiser, West Virginia. It is near. Give me a major city that I would know. Cumberland. Yeah.

Sorry, West Virginia. It's not ringing a bell. Johnstown. Best part is, is everywhere in the Midwest and around that area, every one of those has a Johnstown. Every single one. So that's not helpful at all. Yeah.

Is it east or west side of the state? Oh, it is... Pittsburgh is to the northwest of it. All right, then. Well, thanks. That's weather. Do we even do weather? Yeah, we talked about the thing.

Yeah, sure we did. All right. Yeah, okay. Now let's go on to sports. We got some big sports news. Uh-oh. Packers consider using franchise tag on Greg Jennings. What?

Green Bay Packers might not be ready to part ways with Greg Jennings just yet. CBS Sports reportedly says that they might franchise tag the 29-year-old wide receiver, which could cost the team $10.4 million. Interesting to hear the Packers are still considering franchising Jennings. Thought that ship had sailed. Apparently not, he tweeted. That means he could stay!

This is so exciting. Wait, hold on. Was the whole tweet from Greg Jennings? No, that was from some guy reporting it. Oh, alright. I thought the way you said that, it sounded like he said they aren't gonna resign greg jennings but i guess they are he tweeted and i thought that he meant greg jennings is not talking about stuff in the third person greg jennings is considering like what well look greg jennings even he says even he's like greg jnings. Greg Jennings. That's how he introduces himself now.

That's how I would introduce myself if I was Greg Jennings. People would be like, and what's your name? I'd be like, Greg Jennings. Can you repeat that, please? In my good air. Greg Jennings. All the old people know exactly what his name is. What? Shreg? Shreg. TRIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg That is an amazing name. There's got to be someone named Trig Jigman out there. I'm going to look this up. If there isn't, that's a character in the Guy Hero book.

It is Trig. I spell that. Trig Jigman is the cop on the beat who is like best buddies with Guy Hero. Trig Jigman. Trig Jigman. That damn Trig Jigman. Is it two Gs on the trig or one G? Oh, it's clearly one G.

Yeah. Trig. Trig Jigman. Trig Jigman. If I put that in Google, the only person that comes up is Jason Glover. Does he play a character named Trig Jigman? No. Did someone beat us to this?

He just is a teller at Guaranteed Bank. Close enough. Yeah. That's sports. Okay, now let's move on to the big news story of the day. The only story I had open was Jennifer Lawrence Falls at Oscars. How? She's, like, walking up to get her award, and then she kind of, like, fell on the stair.

Of course they give her crap for that. She has an Oscar and you don't, Hollywood, so suck balls. Yeah, and apparently all the people were sitting in the front row, sat and watched, except for Hugh Jackman, who ran over to help Linda Claw, Gentleman Wolverine. Hugh Jackman, total badass. He is. I think it's safe to say that dude gets all the play in Hollywood. He does. Well, he's Hugh Jack, he's Wolverine.

But he's also a gentleman. Like, he went to go save her. That's true. He is Wolverine deep down inside. You know he's a badass with like a heart of pure piss and vinegar. But around the ladies, I want to, look, I want to murder Hugh Jackman and wear his skin. That's what I'm saying.

Well, with that said, I have some tips for you. Seven key skills to get you hired. To murder Hugh Jackman. Okay? Continue, please. Number one, become Magneto. All right, well. Hold on.

Okay. Six surprising ways to lose weight. Oh, my. Oh, my. How very topical. This is very topical. You're on your, like, big diet thing. Yeah, let's do this.

What do you got for me? All right. Number one. They're surprising, though. So this may be very strange. All right. I'm going to just hold back your shock. Eat placentas.

They're good for you. What? There was a weird video on YouTube about that. Of course there is. Number one. Old rule. Cut carbs. Why you should break it.

Low-carb diets reign during the Atkins craze, but in the long run, people can't maintain them. According to a study in the Annals of Internal Medicine, dieters who ate carbs in moderation lost about five pounds more than carb avoiders. Interesting. One of the things I know about those diets where it's like cut out the carbs is that your body lacks whatever the chemical that's in them. And so it's what prevents you from having really stank breath.

So people who don't eat bread and things like that and all they eat is meat and cheese and veggies, their breath is awful. And it's not me like saying, oh, that's just what I heard. It's proven fact. I knew someone. I'm not going to say if it's a man or a woman because I know they probably listen to this podcast. They had the worst breath ever. And they're like, I'm on the Atkins diet, bro. Atkins diet.

More like the bad breath diet. Where's that boo? How come you used that on me but not you? Huh? That was a great joke. That was not good. That was not good. Number one.

Or wait, no. The new rule is eat five servings of grains daily, especially whole ones. How are you supposed to eat that many grains? Carbs provide great energy and fiber. Avoiding them isn't realistic. I guess I just don't have the visualization of what a serving of grains is. I don't know. Like a slice of bread?

Like a bowl of oatmeal? Is a slice of bread one serving? Are you supposed to eat five slices of bread? Or is one slice of bread two servings? And so if you make a sandwich, that's four and you're almost done. Right? Yeah. Because most bread is like 140 calories a piece.

So that's like 300 calories right there. You just eat oatmeal. Eat oatmeal. All day, every day. Yeah. Because most bread is like 140 calories a piece. So that's like 300 calories right there. You just eat oatmeal. Eat oatmeal. All day every day. Yeah. Until your poops come slimy out. Gravestone quote. Number two, avoid egg yolks.

In a study at the UK's University of Surrey, dieters who ate two eggs daily for 12 weeks lost the same amount of weight and cut cholesterol by the same amount as those who didn't. The cholesterol in eggs is small compared with grams of saturated fat in processed meats. New rule. Wait, so don't eat processed... Well, yeah, getting your Oscar Mayer bologna every day probably isn't going to be healthy. Oh, so it's saying the rules

that are old and why to break them. Yes, I guess that's what we're doing now. So it's eat egg yolks. Yes, and the other one was eat carbs. Yes, that's what it's saying. Egg yolks have protein, calcium, and iron. Eat them as part of your balanced diet. You know what? We were very close

to placentas. We were. Because basically you're eating chicken embryos. Very close Because we're basically eating chicken embryos. Very close. I love me some chicken embryos. I do too. I'm not even going to lie. I know what they are. I don't even care.

Yeah. Don't even care. Have you ever eaten at Qdoba? Yes, I have. So, there's one that opened by me. And usually I go to Chipotle. They're like, Qdoba has quesadillas. And I was like, Chipotle doesn't have quesadillas.

So I went there. They do. Chipotle has quesadillas. And I was like, Chipotle doesn't have quesadillas. So I went there. They do. Chipotle has quesadillas. They do? Yeah, you just have to say, I want a quesadilla. Whoa. Is this new to you? Whoa. I need to try this then. Wow. Wow, okay. So I went to Qdoba and I got a quesadilla. I was like, this place looks exactly like Chipotle.

It is. It's... Qdoba is Fat man's Chipotle. Mm-hmm. It's because it's everything Chipotle has except the fattier version of it. Like, you want cheese? We got, like, 15 types of cheese. Well, I got their quesadilla. It is really good.

I had chicken and couscous and broccoli for dinner. Mm. I see. That was it. That sounds very delightful. It was awful. Shut up. All right, moving on.

Old rule, graze throughout the day. Studies in the 90s found that snacking all day curbed appetite. But a new Canadian study in the British Journal of Nutrition found no weight loss difference between women who did and didn't snack. So snacking. It's all about genetics, ladies. It's all about genetics. That's why be beautiful with yourself. We love you. That's why I can eat

whatever I want. I'll gain nothing. Yeah, and that's why I will murder Crendor later. But then wear his skin. Like a spirit hood. Like a spirit hood, yep.

It'd be creepy like my face is on the top. It's like, ugh! That would be super weird. Holy crap. Now I'm just imagining that. Super weird. Holy crap. Now I'm just imagining that. It's kind of wonderful.

That's a great picture. I'll take the hair of both you and Hugh Jackman and combine you into the perfect spirit hood. New rules, eat as many meals as you want. Okay. So that's kind of good. That's the Canadian rule. They need to eat as many meals as they want because it gets very cold.

They have to fight off bears and wild moose. Yeah, they do. Moose and squirrels. I want to go to Canada. I love Canada. Canada just seems awesome. You're closer than me, too. You're super close. I am. I can like... Just Canada. I love Canada. Canada just seems awesome. You're closer than me, too. You're super close.

I am. I can, like... You should just go. Just go. I should. And then I can just be like, Canada. And then I'll... You just turn around.

Canada. You just turn around and leave. Well, did that. That'll be an amazing journey. I'll vlog it. Anyway, old rule. No midnight snacks. Why you should break it? A recent study in the International Journal

of Obesity concluded that subjects didn't gain weight because of when they ate, but what? Just because people perceive things in a 24 hour time period doesn't mean that that's how life works. So if you eat something at midnight and then you go to bed, it doesn't do anything different. You might have a tummy ache or whatever.

Acid reflux. Yeah, it doesn't do anything to you negatively. If you woke up at noon and then i don't know why he would do that let's imagine you work in youtube you woke up on noon and then you went to uh do a bunch of stuff and you didn't have breakfast or lunch until later that day and then you didn't anything for the rest of the day and then before we went to bed like man i'm hungry and you ate like a big mac you would get the same effect of eating anything for the rest of the day. And then before we went to bed, you're like, man, I'm hungry. And you ate, like, a Big Mac. You would get the same effect of eating a Big Mac any time during the day. Four hours earlier, right when you woke up, it's still a Big Mac.

You know, it doesn't do anything different. Yeah, you'll just get mad cow disease and feel bad after you eat it. Yeah, you will. McDonald's is the food where you're like, God, I want a burger so badly. You eat it, and then you're like, why'd I eat that? Every time without fail. You're just like, it doesn't taste like real food. But I mean, I'm hungry.

I just wanted it so badly. Just wanted it. I just want it. I'm going to eat it. That's McDonald's new slogan. I just want it. I'm going to eat it. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I just want it. I'm going to eat it. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.

I just want it. Rule number five. That'd be an amazing commercial. They're driving down the road like, Hey, sweetie, you want to go over to Wendy's? No, baby, I'd like to go to McDonald's. Ew, McDonald's. I just want it.

This turns into a demon head. She's just like, okay. We I just want it. This is like, turns into like a demon head. She's just like, okay. We should go someplace else. No. Then it just gets all happy again. It's just like, and try our new Big Mac Quarter Pounder Combo. That's it. That's it.

Number five, return to prohibition while you should break it. Alcohol is calorie-packed, but a study from the Archives of Internal Medicine found that women who drank moderately gained less weight than women who never drank. Alcohol slows digestive enzymes and inhibits the breakdown of nutrients. Your body doesn't absorb as much food as it would otherwise, says Dr. Liu Wang. So get drunk, ladies. Yeah. If you need a get drunk, ladies. Yeah. If you need a drinking buddy,

call me. Jesse Cox, drinking buddy. Professional drinking buddy. And number six. Don't cave to cravings. Why you should break it. A study by... What?

Yeah. A study from St. George's University of London shows that if you abstain from treats, you'll overindulge eventually. And University of Toronto researchers found that depriving people of specific foods led to binges. So,

you should eat small portions of the things you like. That's what I'll do. Is that really what you'll do? No. I didn't think so. Anyway, that's it guys. That's it. We're done. We're done. We are so done

aside from this last Florida Man tweet. Son of a bitch. It just says, naked Florida Man runs through Dunkin' Donuts. He had a craving. The article told him to go through with it. So he did. He couldn't take it anymore. He's just like, I want Dunkin' Donuts. He had a craving. The article told him to go through with it, so he did. He couldn't take it anymore. He's just like, I want Dunkin' Donuts.

I can't even do the McDonald's voice anymore. I want that. I want that. Final one. Drunk Florida man tries to use taco as identification after his car catches fire at Taco Bell. Bravo. That's it. That's it.

Too many good news, dude.