Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 119 - Watch Out Franco It's Allegiant
Episode Date: March 30, 2016It's the episode you've been waiting for, Jesse and Crendor review Allegiant. Get ready for Jesse to say "literally" 1200000 times, because he LITERALLY cannot comprehend this movie......
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Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendog!
Cox and Crendog in the morning.
In the morning!
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In 4-hour recording studio.
Recorded!
Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendog in the morning!
Cox and Crendrendo in the morning.
Ah!
That's a deserved weird laugh and slap because...
Yeah.
Guys, guys.
I have yet to see Zootopia. I have yet to see Zootopia.
I have yet to see Cloverfield Lane.
I, instead, I haven't seen Batman v Superman yet.
Instead, I've seen Allegiant.
Yep.
The new Divergent movie.
The movie we've been waiting for.
I don't, see, here's the thing.
Yeah. the movie we've been waiting for i don't see here's the thing yeah i'm i know that we've been waiting for it but now that i've seen it i'm insulted that i went that i like had it on my
i feel that i feel that way too like i'm angered that i was like oh i can't wait for this one it's
gonna be so stupid like anyway before we get into the movie Yeah To really put a crown on this experience
While the theater
When I left, the movie had just ended
I needed to get to the parking garage
And this mall is an outdoor mall
And so the only way you can get to the parking garage
Is by winding around this corner
And going down this path behind the mall
Basically
That path and that part of the mall
Were all cut off
because they were filming a movie.
So I was stuck there for 25 minutes
while they had extras walking back
and forth along that pathway.
And they were filming a movie
and I was like, shut up.
I just want to go home. This is so dumb.
It is
5 o'clock in the afternoon. I just want to
go home. And I had to sit there and wait. It is 5 o'clock in the afternoon. I just want to go home. And I had to sit there
and wait. It was a Christmas
movie being filmed
in March in LA.
And so I went to one of the crew guys and was like, what the hell
is this for? And he's like, yeah, it's for a movie called
Why Him? It's about a
dad who doesn't
like his daughter's rich boyfriend.
Of course. I was like, oh, great, great.
So I looked it up because I had time to kill. It's a James Franco and Bryan Cran Of course. I was like, oh, great, great. So I looked it up because I had time to kill.
It's a James Franco and Bryan Cranston movie.
I was like, shut.
A Christmas movie?
Yes.
And I was, it may not be Christmas, but I know there's a Christmas scene because they
set everything up to make it look like it was Christmas.
I see.
And so I was like, shut up.
So I want to start beef with James Franco.
Franco, I want to start beef with you.
Yeah.
Come on our show.
Come on our show.
Talk with us.
Promote it.
Yeah, promote your movie.
I'll talk about how one day you held me up for 25 minutes.
It'll be fun.
Yeah.
And then in the theater, did you see it with a crowd?
It was an average because it was like 1045 at night.
Oh, well, I saw it at three in the afternoon, and the crowd was me, two girls with multicolored hair,
a family of maybe like six young tween girls, and an old man by himself.
The old man, here's the thing.
At first I was like, oh, well, I guess he's kind of like me.
But then I was like, wait, I'm doing this for a podcast.
Why is he here?
Maybe he's got a podcast.
Maybe he does.
But I had this weird realization that as I looked around the room,
it was just us.
I was like, I'm going to watch this guy.
Because the movie theater, when the movie started, it was like,
hey, see something, say something.
Watch out for someone.
I was like, wow, why would you say that, theater?
Now I'm horrified.
So the entire movie, I kept looking over at that guy
because he had a really long jacket on.
I was like, mm-mm, mm-mm.
I don't want a profile.
But older, really skinny,
squirrely guys with long black jackets,
I think you're going to kill someone.
I'm convinced you're a shooter.
Convinced of it.
And this guy was like...
Oh, he's from the Matrix.
That's true.
This guy was like in his late 50s wearing a long black jacket.
I was like, oh no.
All he needed was like a ranger hat.
Yeah, I was like, he's probably hiding out from the feds. I don't know what was going on oh, no. All I needed was like a ranger hat. Yeah, I was like, mm-mm.
He was probably hiding out from the feds.
I don't know what was going on with that guy.
It's like, they'll never look here.
But that was my movie-going experience.
All right, anyway, let's talk about this movie.
Let's get into the third Divergent movie. Third of four.
Wait, third of four? I thought there four i thought there's oh there's three wait
you thought this is the last one yeah no bro there's another one coming wait hold on yes oh
yes divergent movies what i like i have to look this up there's four divergent four just got hit with some bad news oh are they not gonna
make it the very uh apparently apparently compared to its fellow dystopian teen sci-fi drama the
hunger games it doesn't quite measure up the first two movies were successful but not that successful
while jennifer jennifer lawrence fronted franchise generally received positive reviews. Critics were not so kind to Divergent.
So apparently it took in just
north of $29 million over its opening
weekend. That's the lowest in the franchise
by far. Divergent earned
$54 million. Insurgent was
$52 million. So
pretty much half of what it's
been making. That's also because it's half
of a movie but uh what
i mean what are they gonna make another one i mean uh i don't know all right well here's the
deal they i hope they don't they intended to make one and it definitely shows on the screen because
as i watched this movie i had the realization nothing happens.
It is a two-hour movie in which nothing occurs.
There's so many parts where you're just bored.
That's exactly how I felt.
The other ones, I was like, this is so crazy.
What's going on?
This doesn't make any sense.
This is wild.
This one, literally nothing happened.
Yeah.
Nothing happened in this movie.
If anything, the end of the movie put us right back where the end of the second movie was.
Literally, the things that occurred in this movie had no consequence on anything.
The only thing that happened is at the end, instead of destroying one wall, they destroyed another wall.
They were like, yeah, we took down another wall.
But they're literally right back where they were.
There is no difference between the ending of the second movie and the ending of this movie.
None.
None. Because even in the end of the second movie, they're like, yeah, we're all united.
We stopped whatever her name was from Titanic, and now we're totally united.
And this one, the entire time they're fighting and doing all this stuff, and at the end they're like, yeah, we're united.
It's like, wait, hundreds of people have died.
Yeah.
The Allegiant faction and this other group led by Thor's mom slash sister wife, literally, you murdered all these these people they gunned down innocent people at
the end they're like we stand united uh-uh nope nope the woman tried to gas a city tried to gas
a city yeah which we need to talk about because that made no effing sense but anyway like oh god
where do you even start with this movie so much there's so much
wrong with this movie apparently uh lion whatever studios has cut their budget for the ascendant
movie so uh it'll it seems like it'll still get made but with a far less budget which i think
might actually want to see quality i actually want to see what that movie looks like yeah it's like all green screen like
it's like someone's house i just yeah i just want to see what that looks like because i imagine
it will be terrible um where do we even start so this one oh yeah can i just say yeah as like
this movie was starting all of the other like young adult movies
just blended in together and i was like wait is this the one where oh wait no that was hunger
game so wait is this the oh wait no that was uh maze runner wait this is oh yeah this is that guy
yes i had the exact i had the exact same epiphany uh at the very beginning when they started talking
about the wastes and like the fringe or whatever they call it in this one i had the thought i was like wait so is this where when this left off is that when
they came and they uh took the girl because she betrayed them and i was like oh no wait that was
maze runner yeah i was like hold on yeah like, yeah, this is where they like,
they got,
she shot herself and now they're out.
And I was like,
Oh wait,
yeah,
that's maze runner.
That was the,
okay.
Here's the thing.
I'm going to say it now.
Maze runner,
better franchise.
It's a lot better.
Maze runner is a lot better.
It's that same,
like young adult feel,
but the plot and like the,
like everything just keeps you interested.
Maze runner is, yeah, it interested maze runner is yeah it doesn't
make any it doesn't make any sense it's nonsensical gibberish but it's at least entertaining yeah this
was i i'll you look i'm gonna put this on the lead actress she's so uninteresting she is i know that
she's the fault in our girl, and everyone's like,
oh, she was so good in that movie.
I've never seen it. I don't give a shit.
The only thing I've seen her in is this franchise,
and she
is, like, going through the paces.
There's a scene where they're being chased
and being shot at,
and Four is running...
Go watch this movie. I'm gonna tell you right now.
Go watch this movie. Pay however much it is.
Sit through it and suffer through it just so you can see the scene.
Yeah.
Four is shooting behind her as she's running, as they're trying to get to the fence, as the thing's about to explode.
The bad guys are shooting.
The crowd's exploding.
Four's face is like, oh, my God.
Look at the main character's face.
Tris's face is literally just it looks like
she's going for a jog yeah she has zero emotion in that scene it's like you're being shot at
you're being yeah she just looks like she's jogging like nope just gotta get through this
scene gotta get my payday you're the worst oh my god so like, it starts out where I guess that, that sister, wife, mom shot the villain
lady from the other movie, right?
Yes.
The chick from Titanic.
She killed her and took over.
And what we find out is that they've shut off the, even though, even though they opened
the fence at the end of the last movie and the end of the movie was like, we're going
to have a bright new tomorrow, and we're all gonna
go, and it shows all these people walking
towards the fence, and it's like real hopeful, like, yeah, we're
gonna find out what's out there. The opening of the movie
literally is the closing of the
fence, and a voiceover that's like,
according to
Evelyn, I guess is her name, Evelyn
wants the fence closed.
And that's the, it's like, wait, what?
It's like, we just got, we're just able to go outside.
Why do you want it closed?
And then she's like, nope, we've got to hold trials.
And we've got to hold people accountable.
We've got to restore order.
Then we can go look.
And of course, Tristan and Thor are like, no, what the hell?
And then you get, I don't, so basically.
That's a dumb quote about a wall.
They're like, walls sometimes are meant to keep people in rather than protect them.
It's like, what?
That's the whole point of a wall.
It's like you'd protect shit.
I don't know.
So Evelyn's crazy guy, who I think is the guy from the train in the second one.
Remember when they had the train fight?
Yeah.
And they beat up like 16 dudes.
I think that's her kid too?
It's not her son.
It's just like a guy who she has around.
He's like taken over for Macklemore.
Yeah, basically he's the Macklemore character.
The problem is Macklemore's character.
We don't know any of these actors' names.
Macklemore's character, he was at least threatening.
This guy is on screen
every time he's on screen he gets beat up
he's like wimpy Macklemore
no matter what happens
he chases them down and gets
hit by like lasers he gets
punched in the face he gets like
drop kicked at the end
he gets like he's like gets punched
and stomped on by four.
He does.
He serves no purpose in this movie except to be like,
I'm going to get you punched to the face.
Like,
why is he here?
Mm hmm.
Um,
so yeah,
they're doing the trial and the trial is basically executions.
They're just killing people,
but the trial.
Okay.
The trial was already stupid.
They're like,
here's this guy that was part of the, like, regime or whatever.
And they, like, put the truth thing in.
He's like, people are like sheep.
We need to herd them and be the shepherds.
And they're just like, kill them, kill them.
But they're like, no, don't kill them.
I'm like, I mean, whatever.
I don't care.
Kill them, put them in prison.
I don't give a shit.
Here's the thing that I thought was really great.
Is they clearly panned to the people in the crowd who were like no we are better than
them yeah and you definitely could see what they were trying to do but they made it so on the nose
like the first half of this movie is so on the nose it's unbearable like no we are better than
them don't do it And everyone else was like
I thought it was like a Trump rally
And the crazy thing is
Is that the
The guy who
Was from Lost
I don't remember his name
The Asian dude from Lost
He who's from the truth faction
Or the law and order faction
The truth will set you free
Even though they're like there are no more factions And I'm factionless the truth faction. Yeah. Or the law and order faction. The truth will set you free. Yeah.
Even though they're like,
there are no more factions and I'm factionless,
we're all factionless now,
we're going to have a new society,
they still use all the technology.
He's like,
now I'm going to put this truth serum in you
because while I hold a trial,
we can just get the truth.
And he's still technically being categorized
because he's part of the court system.
Absolutely.
It's crazy.
And so they just start executing people,
and Triss and Four are just like,
we can't do this.
So they get the hot Asian chick
and Lenny Kravitz's daughter,
and then they go and they steal away Triss's brother,
who is going to be executed,
and that's when fake Macklemore,
wannabe Macklemore. to be like fake they fake execute
him too he's like oh get rid of him he's like if i was a guard i've been like you could have just
shot the ground i'd rather i just see for myself yes yes they're very bad but they're like i guess
you're evelyn's son so whatever yeah and they set up an elaborate escape attempt Which is basically Somehow
As Triss
Four and her brother
Are leaving
Dark haired Malfoy aka the best actor in this movie
That dude
Was in
The movie with the drums
He's an amazing actor
The best actor in this movie
They give him nothing to
do like he's like a shitty han solo yes all of his character choices are like hey man hey david
how's it going you want to like help okay okay buddy i'll talk to you later like they give him
nothing to do they're like you can be a monitor you can do he's like i just want the penthouse suite, man. He's the best actor in the movie.
Gave him nothing to do.
Nothing.
So the problem is that the three of them try to escape.
He shows up and he's like, hey, either take me with you or I'm going to shout.
And they're like, okay, come on.
Jump on in.
So he gets to go too.
They get to a checkpoint and they're like, where's your paperwork?
And it's real tense.
You think it's going to be a firefight?
Lenny Kravitz's daughter shows up and is like, here's the paperwork.
I have it.
They let them through.
They get into the woods in order to climb this wall.
And when they get in the woods, they meet the Asian chick with the crazy hair.
Yeah.
And she has all these weapons and backpacks and shit for them.
She brought enough for six people.
The six people or five people or however many there were.
She brought enough for everyone.
Yet they didn't know half those people, or however many there were. She brought enough for everyone, yet they didn't know
half those people were going to be on that trip.
It drove me so crazy
that there were enough grappling hooks
for every single one of them.
Yeah.
I was like, wait.
Half these people weren't even supposed to be on this trip.
Yeah.
Like Peter.
He just showed up.
Peter just shows up.
And they're like,
here's your gun,
here's your grappling hook,
here you go.
It's like, wait a minute.
That drove me crazy.
It's such a small detail, but it drove me crazy.
And it's not like she's like Gandalf or something where it's like, yes, I knew by the spiritual powers.
Like, she's just some lady.
Yeah.
And then because she's such an important character, of course, even though she's had maybe three lines in the entire series, she literally does nothing. She's like,
Triss, you're divergent.
And then later it's like, I'm gonna help you
get to the faction list.
She serves... I feel like she
was supposed to be Lenny... You know how in Hunger Games
Lenny Kravitz was that character
who was like, I'm gonna make you look beautiful,
but I'm also totally worth the resistance. Like that kind of
stuff? I feel like this was supposed to be
that character. The problem is they climb up to the top of the fence.
They realize it's electrified.
The shootout happens where you see Tris jogging instead of like dodging bullets.
Yeah.
And then they cut through the fence and they're like,
we did it.
And then the Asian chicken shot in the head immediately killed.
Like that whole scene.
I was like,
what the shit is happening?
That was like my first moment of like, this is dumb.
So like, they grappling hook up the wall, like it's Attack on Titan.
And they're just like running up the wall.
And then she's like, cut the fence.
They like try to cut it and she gets electrified.
And she's like, oh man, it's an electrified fence.
Conveniently, the power source is right there.
Yes, yes, yes.
The power to the entire
fence is conveniently
right where they climbed up.
It's literally a truck
with wires going to the fence.
If they had trained
tactical, like,
surgical strike soldiers,
wouldn't they have noticed
the giant generator
truck with wires leading
to the fence that is clearly on
because the fence...
Oh my god. They didn't notice the
trip wire thing that they ran through when it set
off the alarms. So now guards
are coming. And then Tris
is like, I got this.
Yeah. And then she runs over
to the truck, which is crazy.
Yeah.
And then Thor follows her with his rope still attached.
Somehow he has enough rope to run with her over to a truck and then carry her back up.
I don't even know why he carried her.
She didn't get hurt or anything.
Her rope, she didn't disconnect it.
There was no scene where she disconnected it, but it was just gone when she needed to go back up
It was gone because it's much more romantic
For him to carry her, I guess
I don't know
Because that's the first thing I thought
I'm like, why is he carrying her?
Nothing happened
She had her rope, I don't get it
So Asian chick gets shot in the head
Which is a dumb thing, by the way
Again, they get to the top
They cut open the fence like we're free
And they just stand there
Like they're coming after you
Run and then she gets shot
And I'm like damn it I wanted the hot Asian one to live
Yeah I'm not
Pleased with that but one of the things that I noticed
Was that
There is no actual bullets
In this movie
There's not there's no blood Bullets in this movie Yeah
There's no blood
There's clearly definitely no blood
But that's been a thing in the entire franchise
But there's no bullets in this movie
There's muzzle fire
Especially later on
When they get to the place where
They have the guns that fire blue lasers
There's no actual
Muzzle flashes of pew, pew, pew, pew.
And you see guys fly back,
but there's no impact on their bodies
of where they got hit.
There's not even like you got hit by a laser scorch.
It's like they're getting shot with air rifles
that shoot powerful blasts of air
and they're just like...
And clearly these weapons have something because they shoot through walls and
they shoot through,
like they have little eyes.
That's oh God.
It's so dumb.
It's so dumb.
But nothing like when people get hit,
they don't actually get hit like blasts.
Like they get force pushed away from the gun.
It's crazy.
It's yeah.
So they managed to make it and at first
on the other side of the wall
it's bright and green and
beautiful and
maybe 25 feet away from that
is a wasteland.
It's essentially a nuclear wasteland
that is
they literally say
oh yeah, this must be what happened to the entire world. Yeah. old I guess. He's like this could be 200 years old.
Yeah I guess it's not radioactive anymore.
It could be 200 years. This damage
probably happened 200 years ago so totally not radioactive.
Yeah.
They go out into the wilderness
and then as they're
running through the red water
and getting red rain poured on them
which again
all that made better by the fact that the,
what's that guy's name, Robert?
Yeah, Robert or Peter.
Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, yeah.
Except that Peter has some really great lines,
really sarcastic, like, oh yeah, thrilled I decided to do this.
Like really good, like funny lines that I'm like,
all right, this is great.
I like where this is going. Yeah. Up to there, it was good like funny lines that i'm like all right this is great i like where this is going yeah the up to there it was like all right this is like
it was kind of tolerable i i the beginning it was like the first two yeah all right this is cool
then they are going through a canyon and they hear something and tris is like hey it could be
someone who's here to help us. Or something similarly stupid.
Why would you think that?
Why would you think someone's here to help us?
And then over the canyon,
in the most ridiculous slow-mo shot.
It's like Mad Max.
This car jumps over the canyon,
and you see it's fake Macklemore,
and he just stares at them.
And he stops driving,
turns his whole body to look at them like,
I see you.
I remember that in the movie I legit was like,
That out loud.
It was amazing.
It's a slow-mo shot.
And here's the crazy thing.
They're out in the fringe.
They couldn't have gotten that far.
It's been half a day, maybe.
I don't even know.
It rained and then stopped.
So however long it took for it to rain,
then stop.
It's been that long.
They have all these cars
and all these troops
that can go hunt them down.
One car with two dudes shows up.
Yeah.
Fake Macklemore,
we'll call him Facklemore,
and Facklemore
and random black dude show up. Yeah.acklemore and random black dude show up.
Yeah.
Instantly, random black dude is killed.
Yeah.
Instantly.
And so they start, our five-man characters start running, and they're like, oh, we got to get out of here.
And he's about to run them down.
And, of course, a giant portal opens up.
And there's a bunch of attack ships and soldiers.
They're like, we've been waiting for you.
And Facklemore is just like, what?
And they blast his ship or his car.
Next thing you know.
What?
They don't kill him, though.
They just blast him.
He just gets like three perfectly placed scars on his face.
Yeah.
And the next thing you know, they are now whisked away to the future world.
That is the Department of Genome genome therapy or something weird like that.
Some shit.
They're just like, we've been waiting for you and watching you, and we are finally glad you've made it.
Oh, and all the kids are fans, and they're like, we watch you, we love you!
Yeah.
And all the girls are like, hi, four.
Oh.
And it's a very weird place where Apparently it's in O'Hare
Airport yeah it was O'Hare
Airport and he's like what's an airport
And they get
Decontaminated and give a new
Clothes and then immediately split
Up and they get the stamps on their
Wrists oh yeah yeah and so
Tris is pure
Tris is like she's
A pure she's a pure person
Whatever the hell that means
It's not even divergence anymore
You become a pure
You ascend from like a normal person
To a divergent to a pure
Yes because she even says in the movie
Thor is divergent
All these other people are divergent
And the guy's like he's not pure though
Which I still don't understand.
Again, it's one of those, out of all the ones, she's the most the one.
Yeah.
And then you find out later on that the nerdy guy who's kind of David's assistant is also pure.
Yeah.
So the question is, is everyone there pure?
I don't know because i thought that yeah
he's pure too yeah in the end they make the statement like it's the damaged versus the pure
i was like wait everyone back in the genome therapy place was pure i i don't know but like
they also like it doesn't make any like i watched that little video they got right we're like
welcome to blah blah blah, blah. Yes.
So, when they go through decontamination, they have a tutorial video that explains everything to them.
Because why put that in the story?
Let's just get it out of the way.
Yeah.
They're like, you, like, humanity was destroyed because they started perfecting, like, genes.
was destroyed because they started perfecting like genes and so people started picking their genes like i want to be a cool football star and i want to be really social and blah blah and then
that backfired and everyone went crazy well what happened was apparently is that everyone
tried to purify themselves and all it did was make people have more divisions, which I think
they're trying to say
white people became whiter
and Asians became Asian-ier.
I don't know
what it means.
It's such fuzzy logic
that people
just decided, yes,
I've made myself the perfect human
thus I will destroy all other humans.
So war broke out and they nuked the planet because that's what would happen.
Yeah, you would think they'd be like, if they were like genetically modifying themselves, they'd make themselves smart enough to be like, yeah, we shouldn't nuke each other.
That'd be stupid. stupid somehow chicago and areas surrounding chicago yeah managed to avoid the catastrophe
and or were purified somehow because chicago would definitely be nuked in a war yeah so and
clearly it was because there's fallout everywhere except for the main hub of downtown chicago
and o'hare airport And the train still works.
Yes.
For some reason.
And you know what?
The train's probably powered by one of those damn trucks,
if you think about it.
It's made in the 80s.
That's why.
Yeah, it's truck powered.
And then there's a city called Providence,
which is pure city as it's labeled.
But other than that,
I don't know that anything else is out there.
Either way,
this O'Hare Airport Genome Therapy place is, like, except for the top floor, which is very futuristic, everything else looks like a military camp.
Yeah.
And so immediately they're like, oh, well, this seems good.
No!
There's nothing good about this scenario.
Yeah. It's clear that everyone...
And all of them are like, this is cool.
Well, like, take that and go to Maze Runner, where where they were all like this is some sketchy shit going on right
they're like hold immediately they're like this is not right this is not right at all this it
takes them the longest time to figure out that something's up so it's so trist doesn't even
figure it out till like an hour and a half later tris doesn't figure it out till it's revealed right in front of her yeah until they basically tell her the plot of the movie like someone comes on
here to me she sounds pretty stupid yeah someone someone comes on set it's like part of the movie
just the guy walks on he's like no tris this is this is not at all true like that would be better than what happened yeah if just a director walks on
he's like no no he's lying to you dear that's what's happening she's like what that'd be a
better twist than what we got it would so she gets to like she's special and she gets to go up to
david and david is the director of this facility and he basically says your mom and i gets to go up to David and David is the director of this facility and he
basically says
your mom and I used to work together
she went into
the not simulation
that would be more maze runner whatever the hell this is
the test the
the genome project or whatever
yeah she went in and
that's why
you exist.
And if I can just tell the people who run this thing that it worked out,
it's amazing and we can save your friends back there and everyone will be fine.
And she, of course, buys into this because he gives her some crazy head vision thing.
And she's like, oh, okay, well, that must be true.
Lady, lady, you don't know this guy.
He gave you weird head visions.
It doesn't mean that it's real They say they can monitor you
And they see everything you do
So clearly he understands you love your mom tremendously
And you're obsessed with your mom
So why wouldn't he manipulate you
Whatever, you're an idiot
That was legit, my first thought was like, this could be fake
This is definitely fake
Here's the thing, they never once explained if it was real or fake
Yeah
Never once.
Even when Triss eventually questions, like, my mom, why would she go in there?
Also, how did you get her into the city without people realizing that she... Like, she was a major player in that faction.
Yeah.
How did people not be like, where did you come from?
Because when she left, she was clearly an adult.
She didn't show up as a kid.
She was clearly an adult when she left to infiltrate that thing.
Yeah, that's what I thought, too.
So why didn't nobody question it?
And Trist questions this, and David's like, ah, don't be stupid.
That's basically what happened.
Don't be stupid, idiot.
Don't be stupid, you idiot.
And so she's caught in this world where they're testing her,
and they're going to take her to Providence,
and they're going to present her to the council and all that crap.
Meanwhile, Peter and her brother are on sentry duty where they just monitor Chicago,
and at this point Chicago has broken out into a civil war.
Chicago, and at this point Chicago has broken out into a civil
war. There's the
Allegiant, which is run by the
Amity faction
leader, and they're
basically like, we want the factions back. It worked
before, it can work again. And then
there's the faction
list that's led by Evelyn, and
she's like, I'm gonna kill everyone.
And she literally does. She
murders innocent people.
A war has broken out.
Again, keep that in mind for the ending.
She's murdered.
There's corpses everywhere.
And this is the reason why the Allegiant Woman is like, we have to take the fight to them.
I'm done with this.
This is our last charge.
We're not going to go down without a fight.
Keep that in mind for the end because that's literally the stakes that are –
I've said literally so many times in this damn episode because it's literally mind-boggling, this movie.
My mind is boggled.
So anyway, Peter and the brother are stuck on watch duty.
So there are eyes letting us see what's going on in Chicago.
Meanwhile, Four and Lenny Kravitz's daughter
are put on
essentially soldier duty?
Which is what most of the people are there, soldiers.
Yeah.
And that's when we learn that there's future weapons
and they have little discs that fly around
and let them see and protect them and shield them and all sorts of crap.
They introduce a new character,
a new female character,
who I think has four lines the entire movie.
And in the first half of this movie, seems like a really important character.
Yeah.
Offers nothing to the plot.
Literally nothing.
I don't know what she's there for.
She also brings up the weird problem of the nerdy guy who's with David
and this woman.
They both help them when they try to escape at the end, but they never explain why they're helping.
She just goes, some of us don't like David.
Why?
Why don't you like David?
There's no explanation for any of it.
They just decide to help.
And they like, like, I feel like they were people that were taken and, like, trained up.
But in that case, they would be part of the system, right?
And they would also be brainwashed.
Yeah, they're brainwashed.
And that's something that drove me crazy, too.
So eventually, Four and Lenny Kravitz's daughter go out to help them rescue kids.
And this goes back to when Triss's mom was rescued
by David's forces
earlier on. And it's revealed
that the kids aren't rescued. They're just taken from their parents
out in the wilderness. And there's a
whole bunch of people who live out in the wastes. So it may not
be radioactive at all. And these kids just get
like parents get killed. The kids get
taken. And Thor is just like
what's going on here? This
isn't right. It took you that long to figure
it out you're kidnapping kids he helps kidnap a kid and he's like this isn't right yeah i was just
like yeah this is so obvious oh my god speaking of which so like his sidekick right or uh sidekick right or a sidekick right david's sidekick guy yeah he like he was just such a bad
character like first off he had no no no he had no development that was a character that existed
only to guide tris back and forth from an elevator and then in the end be like four i'm here to help
you why why are you there to help who are you there is he had
like three different weird phases of like why is this happen the first one was like the elevator
stuff and he's like checking Tris out like hmm yeah and then he like secretly sneaks away in
the elevator and she does like a close-up of his eyes as he leaves her behind evil grin and you're
like oh is this the bad guy yeah he's like the evil grin. And you're like, ooh, is this the bad guy? Yeah, he's, like, the evil grin, like, yeah, we're getting you.
And then the next time you see him, he's like, hey, everybody.
I'm like, what?
That doesn't make any sense.
Oh, God, this movie.
This movie.
Like, I almost thought at first he was going to be the guy that's kind of, like, he wants to get with her.
And so that's why he's, like, doing this.
He's like, hey, how you doing, Triss?
But then he does the evil glare.
And I'm like, oh, shit, he's evil.
He's helping David.
He's like his little sidekick minion guy.
But then he's like, oh, like David, here's whatever.
And I'm like, what?
What?
It doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't make sense.
So Triss is going to go off to Providence And she's going to go off with David
And Forbes grabs
One of his assistant ladies
Goes up to the elevator
Goes up to the top floor
Bursts in and is like Tris
You have to listen to me
David's lying to you and she's like
I don't believe you I'm going to Providence
He's like no Tris
If you love him and you know him for that long
And you've been through some crazy Tris if you love him and you know him for that long and
you have been through some crazy shit
wouldn't you trust him more than this
guy you just met who is taking people
you've never met like especially if
you're the most pure and like smartest
right like I don't even know what pure
means anymore well like what does it
mean well this is what I thought was
gonna happen so the way they talk about pure in this movie is that all the factions were created because the damaged are lacking.
All these genetic experiments that were done, the damaged, as they're called, were, for example, if you were genetically altered to have more empathy, you became so empathetic that it made you gullible.
Right? Or if you were
altered to be more like
physically aggressive, it made you so aggressive
you became like instantly a soldier.
Right? And so that's why all these factions were created.
So all the damage would have a place to be.
That's the way they set it up when they described it.
At least that's what I got out of it. So my
assumption at that point was like,
oh, this explains Triss and how she can conquer everything.
But it also explains why some of the characters were a little more aggressive, why Peter is kind of a dick, right?
Why he constantly betrays them, why her brother so quickly sided with the enemy.
I was like, oh, that explains all this stuff.
That's kind of cool.
And I was like, oh, what does that mean, though, for all these characters then?
Is Lenny Kravitz's daughter gonna become like a crazy
person cause she's super aggressive
right
is Peter gonna betray them again
which spoiler of course he does
and I was like oh the brother's probably gonna like
cower and do something stupid
oh this is so cool I really
for the briefest moment thought
ah I get it now
I get where this is going.
They're damaged because of the genetic mutations,
and so that's why everyone's like,
oh, all right.
Nope.
Not at all.
That is not at all what's happening.
And so Triss goes off,
and Thor is escorted by the evil soldier guy back to Chicago.
And David's lackey's like, I'll go with you.
And mid-flight, his lackey's like, we're not going to Chicago.
We're going to kill you.
And then he helps Four escape.
They crash.
They're the only two who survive.
Four's going to walk back to Chicago And this guy's gonna go back
And tell Triss when she gets back
That Four left him out there
And because Four knows
Because Triss knows Four would never leave a man behind
She'll know it's a lie
Yet somehow
She didn't trust him all this other time
Right, right, which is crazy
So Triss and David
End up at this magical
future city, and in the future
city they meet the council, and the council
is listening to David talk,
and they want to hear what Triss has to
say, and Triss starts talking about how
wouldn't it be better if everyone
back in Chicago was safe and they could help them?
And then it's revealed,
oh, this has nothing to do with Chicago,
David runs all of Chicago.
He doesn't need our orders for anything.
We're just here because it's a budgetary meeting, and we are just deciding if we're going to give him more money to continue the experiment.
Yeah.
And Tris is like, what?
And so then they have the most awkward flight home where they literally have to sit next to each other.
David's like, you don't get it. This is the real
world. And Tris just looks out the window
all pouty. If I was
Tris, a trained killer,
I would have kicked his ass in front of
every single one of those council
members and been like, no.
F this business. Instead she just
I'm gonna just
sit here and pout on the way home.
What? It was just revealed that everything you know is a lie
Yeah
She pouts on her way home
It reminded me of like a dad and a daughter
Driving like somewhere
Right yes exactly
She is just
It's just revealed that everything she knows is a lie
This guy manipulated and used her
And what happens is
She pouts on the way home
If anything she should should kicked his ass
Right there in front of everyone. I don't know clue why that didn't happen. She's like hmm. He's a don't you understand?
This is the real world. What does that do with anything?
I was like this does I don't get it
I don't like and what was like okay, so they're giving him money for this right they're
giving him the funding yes and like where are they getting money like where are they getting
the money from future bucks i have no clue i have no clue if this is if anything if this is the
future and that's the last remaining city on earth i almost i thought they made it seem like there's other places
doing this.
Well, I thought they said that Providence was the
one place that, I don't know, maybe there's
other places, but even if that's the
case, if this is a study
to save the human
race,
why would they even need money for it?
Yeah. I don't know.
What are they funding?
Like, this is, it's kind of like Star Trek. trek in the future they don't have money in star trek they don't have money money
doesn't exist everything's just provided for if this is that future why do they need money
yeah it doesn't it doesn't make any sense are they gonna trade like who are they trading with
there's nobody to trade what is the point of currency in a world where everyone is working together
to save the human race? If you're all
if you all have specific tasks
what? It doesn't make any sense.
It's more just resource management
than anything. Yes, when you go
to the
Genome Project base
there is a bottom
floor that has soldiers
and a middle floor that has all the like tech stuff and then there's a bottom floor That has soldiers And a middle floor that has all the
Like tech stuff
And then there's a top floor where David lives
There's no
I saw no recreational things
I saw only things to train
So they're not like oh man I can't wait to buy the new
Mjörg Bjorg
Sound
Album
That's what they're calling the future sound albums.
There's no one had personal effects.
They were all training to be soldiers to save kids.
So it doesn't make any sense.
There's nothing to buy.
Yes, there's nothing to buy in this world.
So why does he need money?
Yeah.
Okay, people that read the book, like, does the book explain that?
Or is the book just as stupid?
I'm curious.
It doesn't make any sense.
She takes a long car ride back, meets the guy.
He says to her what he was told to say.
She, to his face, goes, Thor would never say that.
Or never leave a man behind.
He's like, he told me you'd say that.
So she immediately grabs her friends and steals the white ship that David drives in order to get back.
Oh, my God.
That scene bothered me so much. That was one of the most dumb, irking scenes.
So like.
Which part?
Which part?
Where she gets in his ship.
She's like, okay, I don't like this.
And he's like, okay.
She's like, I'm going to take your ship and go find him.
And then.
All right.
Is that was.
Was this now or later?
I don't even know.
I don't even care.
She's like, I'm going to. She takes takes his ship but she just takes it yeah like she just takes it
she takes it and he says he says you don't you don't even know how to fly and she's like i'll
figure it out jumps in it presses a few buttons flies away he's like wait you have no knowledge
of how to use this technology and he doesn't even put up a
struggle to like stop her or anything like if i was like a person running over this entire facility
and there's my ship outside i would have a lock that only i could get outside especially if it's
the only ship that can leave the barrier yeah like she would go up she just scans like oh i'm
a pure mine wouldn't be like oh, it doesn't matter if you're pure
It's only me only I get to go out there. Yeah, like why wouldn't he do that?
It doesn't make any especially when he's like a mastermind with all this other shit
It doesn't make any sense at all at all so she and her friends
Escape and this is when this is when the girl who they just met helps her for no reason
She gives her like guns and shit.
Makes no sense.
Like, wait a minute.
Why?
Why would you help them?
Who are you?
We just met you.
We have no background information on you.
Yeah.
If anything, I thought you were going to be a bad guy like the other guy.
The two of you, both at the beginning of this movie, gave our heroes the most evil eye I've ever seen.
And in the end, you were like, but we're on your side.
It would be great if there was a plot twist where we thought you were evil the entire time.
We've met you twice, maybe.
We know nothing about your characters.
Who are you people?
Also, then there's four who's, like, walking back in the most dramatic, like, blood rainstorm. Yes, there's four who's like walking back in the most dramatic like blood rainstorm.
Yes, there's blood rain.
He has a like he has a rib cage gash like a gash in his stomach.
He's stumbling back to the desert covered in blood rain.
This radioactive blood rain.
He's like they should have just played the Terminator theme songs.
He did like.
They should have just played the Terminator theme song as he did it.
Like, ba-da-da!
Do-do-do-do-do.
Do-do-do-do-do-do. And then, when he fights people, it makes it seem like he's Batman.
Or some shit he's like, oh, Batman.
He's unbeatable.
He is beat up.
He is beat up for the last half of this movie.
And continues to take on six, seven guys at once.
Yeah, trained soldiers.
Trained factionless and dauntless soldiers.
He just beats up.
He gives no shits.
So he goes back, and while that's happening,
and he goes back to convince his mom that the war needs to end
because there's another group out there,
Peter gets sent back by David, finally acknowledging his presence.
Through the whole movie, Peter's been like, David, finally acknowledging his presence. Through the whole movie, Peter's
been like, David, buddy, hey, alright,
see you later.
Gets sent back to convince
the mom that
she should use what
was discovered earlier in the movie,
that when they kidnap kids,
they use a gas
that makes them forget their memory.
They lose their memory, and that's how they're able to raise these kids out of the fringe and keep them loyal soldiers.
And so apparently there's a bunch in Chicago.
I don't know why the chick from the other movie, from Titanic, didn't use it.
Yeah, I thought that too.
Did she not have contact with David?
Well, I guess this could be the reason why everyone forgot that the mom was new.
Maybe they did it before to people?
I don't know.
I don't know, but it seems crazy that
would happen at some point that thought the mom was like friends with david i was like oh shit
maybe she knows david maybe she's like maybe she has something against david she's like we're not
going out there well i mean tris's mom when tris's mom infiltrated tris's mom maybe they maybe they
used it on everyone then?
I don't know. I don't know.
Like, it doesn't make any sense.
Because they have, like, the infrastructure set up to where it's going to gas the city.
Yes, they finally explain what all those damn fans are throughout the entire city.
Yeah.
All those giant air conditioning fans that exist in the city are just there to pump out the gas.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, well, that's, all right, that's kind of, that explains something.
That's kind of cool.
Yeah. But, yeah, so Peter goes back convinces
Evelyn that she should gas everyone
That way Amity will
Join them and
Everything will be cool but apparently she
Thinks only the
Allegiant people are going to be gassed
But really Peter and
David are gassing the entire city
I don't even know
I don't know why she wouldn't think it would be
Like it wouldn't be
If you're going to gas everything
How are your people not going to get gassed as well
Also let's talk about
How is
Oh my god
Alright so
Tris and her brother and
Lenny Kravitz's daughter
All go back to save
four in Chicago
and the mom and Peter set off
the gas and
they immediately beat up
Faklemore and
he's not even there to stop them
they sneak in, they get to the very top
they get to a door that is
keeping Peter
and the mom inside,
protect them from the gas.
And they're like, mom, please, you have to turn it off.
They're going to gas everyone.
Meanwhile, gas is seeping through everywhere.
Yeah.
My problem with this gas is that it only stays at floor level.
Yeah.
The gas is seeping through vents and just going down.
So it's like water.
It's not like gas where it's rising up.
It's just filling up rooms.
So it's like at their ankles, like, oh, no, the gas is going to get us.
The gas is seeping into the atmosphere outside.
It's just people are running away from it.
They're like, oh, no, not the gas.
There's a part where I think it's the brother.
The brother runs to meet them once he figures out how to stop the gas.
And a guy with a gun charges at him.
The brother throws the dude into a wall of gas.
There's gas that just made a wall.
It's not moving.
It's just like a gas wall.
The gas would be filling up that room.
Why is it not doing that?
I know.
The gas is seeping through everything, and people are just running away from it.
The gas would rise up.
It wouldn't just...
What kind of gas did they create?
This is the worst gas that ever existed.
That's so dumb.
If the purpose of your experiment is to do it over and over and over again, like apparently it has been done.
Yeah.
And you need to gas people repeatedly in order to start things over.
Wouldn't it be much better to have a gas that immediately like rises up into someone's face?
They suck it in rather than have it be this toxic ooze looking shit that sticks at their feet that takes hours for it to rise up to their head.
People are out running gas.
You would think
that scientists that have done this experiment
over and over would be like, you know what? We need that gas
to rise. Yeah, we need that gas to go a lot
faster. It is that the gas
hits 100% and then
it starts
as a liquid, hits 100%,
turns into a gas that is a liquid likeits 100% Turns into a gas
That is a liquid like gas
It is the most ineffectual way
To knock out a population I have ever seen
Yeah
The gas is seeping through vents
So eventually
It turns out that David betrayed Peter
And the mom
Even though Peter shoots the mom in order to keep the gas going
Yeah
Turns out the gas is going gonna seep into this room
Yeah, the gas starts seeping through the floor, but instead of it being like gas shooting up
It's like like bubbling through the floor the mom is laying on the floor wounded
Still doesn't get hit by the gas the gas has a gas could go go in through her wounds. The gas didn't even make it to her.
The gas is so slow.
It literally just oozes up and sort of slinks its way over to her.
It's so slow that Peter has time to go to the door, open the door,
have a stare down before who's like,
I'm going to get you, Peter. Peter's like, yeah,
whatever. And he has time to sneak
out of the room as gas is still coming up.
He has time to leave the room,
go down a hallway
and run through, get
more gas and
escape. He runs through gas,
Crandor. He runs through the city.
Yeah, he runs. He escapes the city he runs through the city yeah he runs like the city
after it's been gas everyone escapes no one is apparently like three people actually get hit by
the gas like some of them are coughing but i'm like okay so they're coughing they breathe how
much gas do you need to like confuse like do they have to like like really inhale it or like i was convinced i was convinced
that the the episode four the fourth movie would be about the fact that most of the people in this
city lost their memories i was so convinced that not the case at all no one gets hit by this gas
this gas does nothing it is seeping from skyscrapers. Alright, here's the thing. Yeah. The skyscrapers
that have those turbines are shooting it out,
right? So this is heavy gas
and it's falling down. It would fall
down on the people and they'd inhale it.
Yeah. That doesn't happen
either. The gas just avoids
people. The gas goes around
human beings. The gas
is like, ew, no, I don't want to touch
you. The gas avoids people ew, no, I don't want to touch you. The gas avoids
people to the point
where, again,
Peter escapes
for the brother,
Lenny Kravitz, and
Triss
manage to get into the room,
lift up the mom, go over
to the panel, start typing in stuff
into the panel,
figure out where they need to go.
Tris goes down a floor panel, goes into an underground tunnel,
is blocked off by David, finds another path, is blocked off by David again,
shoots through a wall, destroys the gas.
In that time, everyone should have been brainwiped.
How is it possible?
It was a sealed room.
It was a sealed room.
If gas seeped into that sealed room, they would all, she'd come back into that room and they'd all be like, who are you?
Yeah.
There is no way any of that happened.
It was so crazy.
I can't even begin to tell you how awful that was it was really stupid
that was one of the dumbest things I've seen
and I've seen a lot of dumb things I've seen a talking
cat alright
and that made more sense than this
and of course
David is like no
at the end and then Triss
leaves a message for the city that is like we we're going to all unite and we're going to fight back and we're going to stop them.
Just you wait.
And then it has the Allegiant woman who was from Ebony and Evelyn standing side by side like we're best friends now.
You just wasted Civil War.
People died.
And she got shot.
How'd she get better?
She had a bandage on her leg, so clearly she was fine.
Yeah.
Yeah, they walk up to the roof.
They look out as they send the white ship that was David's back to the gate.
As Peter's there, like, let me in.
Come on.
They blow up the invisible wall that reveals the city.
And then they're like, yeah, we're going to teach them what's what.
End of movie.
Well, they send out the shit that blows up the wall,
and then you can kind of see outside.
Like, they didn't even blow up that much of the wall.
They blew up enough to be like, oh, look, there's red shit out there. Yeah, they're like, now we can go back and fight them.
She doesn't think it's like, they think it's pure versus damage, but we're just good people or some bullshit.
And Peter manages to get back through the fence.
And David's like, I'm going to get you.
And at the end, it's him watching her, like standing next to her, watching her give her speech.
And that's it.
That's how it ends.
It then starts immediately into credits.
Like, see you in the next one.
Yeah, when that ended, I was like, wait, what?
What?
Yeah.
What?
It has Triss staring off into the distance with four, like, yeah, we did it.
And then it pans to David really quickly and does like a dun-dun-dun,
and then immediately credits.
Like, there isn't even a pause.
The credits appear from their bodies.
Yeah.
The credits shoot out of their bodies.
There isn't even a black screen.
It's just credits.
Immediate credits.
It didn't even feel like it was about to end.
It felt like it just ended randomly.
I'm like, wait, what?
And that brings us to the whole point that this is a movie that literally did not need to be made.
It ended the exact same way that the previous movie ended with everyone uniting and going off to go see what's in the outside world.
Except this time, everyone united in order to go fight the outside world.
All they did was learn the outside world, we probably should bring the military.
No shit, you should have done it to begin with yeah it does it it's unnecessary this was an
unnecessary movie they could have just skipped this one and went right to the other one and
been done with it also with like david being next to them and stuff like they had that those like
machines right with that lady built she's like i built the machines yeah and they like scout out chicago and whatever i don't even get how that
works so like they're they're looking at everything right but then they can put themselves there
and then they can look around but then her brother's like i'm going in so he actually
appears there and i'm like how'd you get there how did he get there another thing that's amazing
is so later in the movie after tris being told she can't fly and then somehow learning to fly
when the autopilot is turned off later in the movie her brother who is in that ship is like
don't worry i'm going in he now can fly the ship and flies it to save Tristan, everyone.
It's like, whoa, wait, what?
How can he fly now?
Yeah, it's...
It doesn't make any sense.
And then, apparently, from what I've read everywhere, she dies in the book.
Like, she's supposed to die in this book and this movie.
But she doesn't die
What?
That's what everybody's been saying
Like in the book
Like the Allegiant book
She dies
Well maybe that's the fourth movie
No
Everyone's like she dies in this book
And apparently
No but the fourth movie is
The second half of the book
Right?
Oh maybe
Hold on
Oh is it?
Allegiant Yeah She's supposed to die at the end half of the book, right? Oh, maybe. Oh, is it?
Yeah, she's supposed to die at the end.
I like how we're immediately just spoiling this for anyone who would have given a damn.
Nobody cares.
Alright, hold on.
Tris's brother, Caleb,
is put on trial.
Tris and Four are tested by Matthew and Nita
to verify and study their divergence.
What? That definitely didn't happen. Tris is shown to be truly divergent, but Four's genetic structure four tested by matthew and nita to verify and study their divergence what this that definitely
didn't happen this is shown to be truly divergent but for his genetic structure indicates his genes
are still damaged so in the book it looks like they went through trials in the movie it was
literally just david being like no he's damaged yeah matthew brings tris oh matth Matthew's the nerdy guy I guess Okay David gives Tris
Her mother's journal
Oh so in the book it was a journal
Not the weird head things
Nita is the new girl
Four is secretly asked to join a rebellion
Led by Nita
What?
What?
That definitely didn't happen
That definitely did not happen
That definitely did not happen Four That definitely did not happen.
Four secretly asks to join a rebellion led by Nita, who is also genetically damaged.
She tells him that the Bureau is lying and that they say genetic damage is the cause of society's problems.
She intends to demonstrate that the genetically pure are flawed as well.
Four tells Triss the plan, despite Nita's warning to keep it a secret.
Nita and her allies attack the compound, severely injuring Uriah, whoever the hell that is.
Triss saves David from being shot by Nita and stops the attack.
Nita is in prison for her crimes.
Uh, none of that happened in this movie.
No.
Absolutely zero.
That would have made this movie incredibly entertaining.
That is not what this movie was.
So boring. Still bad,
but far more entertaining.
And then, does it say she dies then?
No, it says Triss confronts
Thor and ends their relationship.
Triss is offered a position on the Bureau's Council
and is told of the events taking place within the city,
including Allegiant's preparations
for war with Evelyn and the Factionless.
David is desperate to stop the violence and maintain his life's work,
even at the expense of destroying the memories and personalities of Evelyn and the city.
This is such a better thing than what we saw.
Yeah.
Now I can see why the people who read the book liked it more.
He decided to use the memory serum to wipe the memories of the people within the city,
allowing the experiment to begin with a clean slate.
Triss learns the Bureau created the serums that led to the destruction of Abnegation and the enslavement of Dauntless.
Repulsed by the Bureau's actions and David's decision, Triss reconciles with Four.
With her friends, she begins to create a plan to save her city.
The group decides to break into the weapons lab and use the memory serum to wipe the Bureau's
memories.
The lab is guarded by a fatal dose of sudden death serum, rendering it a suicide mission.
Caleb, her brother, volunteers for the role, tearfully asking Triss if his choice will allow her to forgive him for everything he's done.
Triss says yes.
Four, Christina, Peter, and Amar.
Who's Amar?
I don't know.
Plan to go into the city to inoculate their loved ones against the serum.
Christina is able to retrieve doses of the inoculation serum and tells the group to inject themselves.
Christina gives the extra vial of memory serum to Four for use against his father, Marcus, or mother.
Evelyn, in hope of bringing an end to the conflict.
Oh, in hope of bringing.
Okay, yeah. Four decides to confront Evelyn. Four meets his mother and end to the conflict, in hope of bringing, okay, yeah.
Four decides to confront Evelyn.
Four meets his mother and gives her an option of drinking it.
Evelyn can then end the fighting and become his mother again.
She embraces Four without taking the serum.
They meet with Johanna and Marcus to plot the end of the conflict.
Peter laments his bad behavior and violent tendencies,
which he knows will never change.
Peter wants to take the memory serum and become a new person. Four gives Peter the serum. Peter takes it and his memories are erased. What?
None of this happened!
What?
What?
This is infinitely better than what we saw.
This is like an entirely different thing.
This isn't even remotely close to what we saw.
Yeah.
At the Bureau,
Caleb is ready to sacrifice himself, but he and Triss are ambushed by Bureau guards.
Triss pulls her gun on Caleb and decides
to carry out the mission herself,
knowing that Caleb volunteered out of regret
for his former's actions, rather than
for his love of her.
Triss tells Caleb that if she
does not return, she should tell Thor
that she did not want to leave him.
Triss destroys the entrance to the lab and is exposed to the death serum, but she survives.
David shoots Triss, who lunges for the memory serum and releases it.
Triss slowly slips into darkness until she sees her mother reaching out for her.
She gladly accepts her mother's embrace, succumbs to her wounds, and dies.
Four, Peter, and Christina return to the compound and are told about Triss' death by Kara, whoever the hell that is.
Four is incensed that Triss died for Caleb, even after Caleb's betrayal.
Before Caleb walks away, he tells Four that Triss never wanted to leave him.
Zeke and his mother take Uriah off life support, whatever the hell that is.
Four cuts his hair and is about to use the memory serum on himself
so that he can forget the pain of losing Triss and Uriah.
Christina convinces him not to use it, saying that Triss would want him to remember her.
Two and a half years later, Chicago's finally
at peace with former faction members,
factionless, compound members, etc.
moving about at will.
Four spreads Triss's
asses while ziplining.
Oh my god.
He accepts that he has endured
and reflects on his belief that while life damages everyone, people can heal over time.
Alright, it's still awful, but at least more is happening in this.
Yeah.
Spread your ashes while ziplining, Shaka-bra.
Shaka-bra.
Like, apparently a lot of people were mad that she died because they're like she died for literally
no reason they're like she survived so many things that like she should have been killed by
and then she just dies here just because like they think it's like shock factor oh i guess
kara is the the kara and johanna i guess are the allegiant leaders so I think it's like the Amity woman yeah
whatever it doesn't matter either way
this movie
has nothing to do with this book
yeah there is literally
nothing in
I just don't I just don't know
I just don't know I don't either it's
it's so
like you can tell they cut out so much shit because it just chops along.
It doesn't make sense.
Yeah.
It doesn't make sense.
And it's just really dull and, like, uninspired.
Yeah, it even starts out, Trist Pryor is shocked by the video released to the public at the end of the Erudite headquarters raid.
The video revealed the truth about the faction system and announced that the Divergent are needed
outside the borders of the city.
Factionless leaders Evelyn Johnson
appoints herself leader of the city.
She forces citizens to operate under her command
and live as equals and
factionless citizens. Triss questions
Evelyn's motives and is kidnapped by a
legionary rebel group determined to reinstate
their old way of life. The legion invite
her to a meeting the following night.
Triss's brother, Caleb, is put on trial.
They save him.
So, I mean, that happens.
The Allegiant plan to send a group outside the city to find the truth.
So the Allegiant are the ones who send the group.
It isn't they just decide to go.
Oh, well, that makes sense.
Triss volunteers on the condition that Caleb is taken with them.
Tobias, Triss, Christina, Kara, all these different people are ambushed.
After they jump off the train, the train was not brought back,
which results in Tori's death.
Sorry, Tori.
Driving through the unknown, they meet Zoe and Amar,
four's former instructors,
who are believed to have been killed for being divergent.
Zoe and Amar take the group to the Bureau of Genetic...
What?
There's so much happening. So Zoe and Amar take the group to the Bureau of Genetic Welfare. What? There's so much happening. So
Zoe and Amar, these other characters who I guess
were Four's friends, take
them to the Bureau of Genetic Welfare
where they learn the truth about their society many
years ago. So that whole thing. Yeah.
And Tristan Four tested.
So that takes us back to
where I started. But literally, this
Wait, what? What the shit did we So that takes us back to where I started But literally this Wait what
What the shit did we watch
That is nothing that happened in this book
Yeah I don't
We didn't even see
We didn't even get the same story
What the hell
What
Tori's the
Hot Asian braided woman
That's right wait so in this one That's right Tori's the Asian chick braided woman. That's right. That's right.
Wait.
So in this one, that's right.
Tori's the Asian chick.
So Triss volunteers to go in the condition, okay, after they jump off the train.
So in this, they climb the wall.
In the book, they jump off the train.
They just jump off the train.
Tori's killed.
And in the movie, they walk into the unknown. in the book they drive of course yeah of course
i mean either way you know it's but at least the book has like some substance to it at least yeah
at least the book has a like something that's kind of entertaining the movie was i was super bored the entire time nothing happened nothing
happened nothing happened at all like i feel like this is a movie that could have been saved by
nicholas cage you replace david with nicholas cage instant instant smash i i feel like he would
have he would have been better he would have been better nich He would have been better. Nicolas Cage, as David, would have just been like,
don't you understand?
Tristan!
We're trying to save you.
We're trying to save Chicago.
We're just trying to save the world.
I would have been like, yeah, that's right, Nicolas Cage.
We're trying to save the world.
I would have taken Nicolas Cage's side.
Yeah, the problem is that David had no
there was no intensity to him. He was
always the guy who was like, don't worry
I'm definitely not evil.
Yeah, that's like
that was what he was. He was just a
one dimensional, I'm
evil but I'm not evil guy.
And the difference is so striking
when you compare it to Maze Runner, which has
relatively the same story when you think about it.
They escape the experiment.
They find themselves out in the world.
And when they get out in the world, the people that were there to help them who were running the experiment are actually the bad guys.
Except the difference is this gave us David, who's this guy who's like, I'm here to help you.
I'll take you before the council and everything will be okay.
I knew your mother. And in Maze Runner, they had had i've never read the book so i don't know but in the
maze runner movies they have little finger is like don't worry you can totally trust me and
then when they're like betray me he's like i'll kill you oh i'll get you good yeah it's so much
better oh it is so much better i feel like the Maze Runners probably
followed the books more
I don't even want to know now
I don't want to know now
because at least the Maze Runner movies so far
have been so insane
that at least they're entertaining
this shit was boring as balls
yeah it was super boring
it was like
I was even trying to find
stuff to just laugh at and being like, that's
stupid, haha, but I couldn't even do that. It was just like
nothing happening.
It was just nothing. So boring.
So boring.
It reminded me
of when they
split up Lord, uh, not Lord of the Rings.
Hunger Games in the two parts.
Well, yeah. Well, first off, yeah, it's perfect. So, when they split up Lord of the Rings. Hunger Games in the two parts. Well, yeah. Well, first off, yeah, it's perfect.
So when they split up Hunger Games, the last two parts of that movie, the first part, nothing
happened.
And the second part was all action, but no story.
Like, I was like, I don't, who the fuck is this cat woman?
I don't care about her.
Yeah.
And that's the same thing that happened here, where I'm convinced the next movie is probably going to have all the shit that we just read.
Mm-hmm.
And this movie gave us nothing.
Yeah.
Nothing occurred.
Literally nothing.
Also, can I just point out really quickly, when Tristan and Four kiss, they make the sloppiest kissing sound.
They really do.
It's like...
It goes on for
like 10 seconds. Oh, it's so gross.
They just go like
It's so sick.
I'm sitting in a theater
repulsed by their kissing.
I know. It's these two
characters who have zero
They have zero chemistry just like
It's so gross. It's so gross.
It's like, I'm so tired now of the wall.
A bit like, we're in the wall.
What's outside the wall?
That's in so many things now.
I don't want any more walls.
Unless it's like, you already know what's outside the wall, and you're in the wall.
Yes, at least when it came to Maze Runner,
they got out of the wall, and then stayed out of walls.
Yeah.
The first book literally has nothing to do with the second book when it comes to the maze.
The maze is gone.
They got out of the maze.
They moved on with the plot.
There's not another maze.
It's just they moved on with the plot, and it was good.
It was good.
Yeah.
It's essentially the same as Hunger Games. They have the Hunger Games. They're in the Hunger Games. And then they're like, all right, we're, and it was good. It was good. Yeah. It's essentially the same as, like, Hunger Games.
Like, they have the Hunger Games.
They're in the Hunger Games.
And then they're like, all right, we're out of it.
We're not going back.
This is like, let's go back to the experiment, guys.
It's like, oh.
Oh, damn.
I looked up Maze Runner because I want to see something.
The Maze Runner lead actor had a massive injury.
What?
On set.
What?
He was tragically run over by a car while filming a stunt.
What the shit?
What?
What the shit?
I don't think Tris would ever get run over by a car.
If she needed it, it would have made this movie better.
It would have made this movie better.
Production on the film will be shut down While he recovers
Damn
And it's called
The Death Cure
Oh my god
I'm so pumped for that movie
What are these books
What are these books
I've moved on
The new divergence.
I'm like, oh, man, I'm ready.
Where's the next maze run?
Yeah, where's the next?
So the next one's called The Death Cure.
The Death Cure.
Oh, see, we did talk about this when we talked about Maze Runner, how the first book is in
this lush, like, garden maze.
The second book, The Scorched Trials, is in this, like, desert.
The new one, which looks like
The Death Cure
Is like an icy fortress
Oh yeah, I remember that
They have like mind control or some shit
Oh man, this is gonna be so good
I'm ready for that now
This is gonna be so good
The lead actor got run over for his craft
Triss wouldn't do that
She's like, I'm just jogging. I'm trying to dodge bullets.
Hold on, let me sloppy kiss you for
The maze is also like a lot
cooler than like nuked
Chicago. Definitely a lot cooler.
Well, it still doesn't, nuked Chicago
still doesn't make sense. Yeah.
If the entire surrounding area of Chicago was nuked, why is the infrastructure of Chicago still standing?
Yeah.
Like, that makes no sense.
That doesn't make any sense.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't get it.
All I know is, I am, they could be, the place they're at could be where I'm living.
What?
Wait, what?
Because I'm in the suburbs of Chicago.
So it's outside of Chicago where all the red shit is that's like Mars.
That could be where I live.
This place I'm in right now is just Mars.
Nuked Mars.
But it's 200 years later, so there's no more radiation.
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
Yeah, what if? What radiation. Yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah.
What if?
What if?
Oh, my God.
Oh, there's so many better ways this movie could have gone.
I remember sitting in the theater thinking to myself, like, I can think of numerous ways
that this movie could be better right now.
Oh, yeah.
Like, if they released that gas, shit, that would have been so crazy.
I know.
I would have walked out of that movie like
oh my god what is gonna happen yeah just like end it with the gas being released even i would
have been like oh shit right now it's gonna happen doesn't make any sense there's i don't
yeah i don't even care i don't even care what's gonna happen i don't care anymore either i don't
even care whatever that's
my rating whatever yeah my rating for
this movie is a solid whatever oh god
the other ones were so silly and stupid
I had such hope this would live up to
that it was just stupid there was no
silly involved yeah there was no like
Macklemore driving over fences
oh man back to the good old days
like fakelemore whatever his name is he tried to do some like mad max slow motion shit but it wasn't
cool it wasn't as cool as driving it definitely wasn't cool he drove over a cliff while staring down our heroes and then got his entire team killed.
He did nothing.
He didn't do anything.
He did nothing.
And then the worst part is he is what?
Everyone's friends now.
So he was the bad guy and now he's not the bad guy anymore?
Yeah, I don't know either just go see
go see zootopia that was a solid movie best movie of the year right now i haven't even seen that yet
there's so many things i haven't seen zootopia kept my attention the whole time you are like
you are the fox in that movie that is you thanks the most you character I think I've seen. Great.
I'm the sloth.
And it's great.
I'm a sloth.
And then great plot.
Great premise.
Great story.
It covers the whole aspect of judging people by their race or gender.
Because it's like doing it to animals where they're like, hey, you're a stupid rabbit.
You can't be a part of our club.
Or you're not as good as our race race of animals it covers like all the topics and it's like then they all get along and it's like yay and there's a happy ending and Shakira's in it
she plays like a llama girl or the dances best movie of the year so far 99 sloths out of 100
can I ask you a question yes why in America is it called Zootopia
but in Britain
it's called Zootropolis?
It's because England's weird.
I'm aware of that.
But why is it called Zootropolis?
What is the point of that?
Zootropolis.
I don't know.
Why is that?
Why is that the case?
That is
I'm not positive
Zootropolis Review
Zootropolis
Why
Why name change?
Zootopia to be called Zootropolis
Ooh, eight Disney films with different names
In the US and UK I don't even care why, I just want to know what the other ones were Yeah Zootopia to be called Zootropolis. Ooh, eight Disney films with different names than the U.S. and U.K.
Ooh.
I don't even care why.
I just want to know what the other ones were.
Yeah.
What?
D2, The Mighty Ducks became, oh, The Mighty Ducks became Champions.
D2, The Mighty Ducks became The Mighty Ducks.
What?
Wait.
So when we talk about The Mighty Ducks.
Why is it talking about The Mighty Ducks?
Well because it's a Disney movie.
Oh.
So the original Mighty Ducks
became the champions
in Britain
and then D2
became The Mighty Ducks.
So when people watch
The Mighty Ducks
there they think
we're talking about D2
get out of life.
The Lion King one and a half Became the Lion King 3
Hakuna Matata
There's a Lion King 1 and a half
I never saw Lion King 1 and a half
Zootopia became
Zootropolis because
Oh Disney spokesman telling
Screen Daily that the change was to merely allow
The film to have a unique title that works for UK audiences.
Apparently, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was renamed Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in North America because the execs thought not many people in North America would know what the Philosopher's Stone is.
So it's just kind of...
Why don't people in the UK understand the concept of a utopia?
I don't know.
The Great Mouse Detective became Basil, the Great Mouse Detective.
Tomorrowland became Tomorrowland, a world beyond.
Avengers became Avengers Assemble.
Return to Neverland became Peter Pan 2, Return to Neverland.
Yep.
Apparently, Zootopia is trademarked in Denmark
So they couldn't do it there
Interesting
Yeah
Well that is a lot of BS
Are we done talking about this movie?
Yeah
Can we never discuss it again?
I am ready to never talk about it ever again
Good good because
Unless they make this fourth one
Which going into it now
i don't know what it would be i don't know what it'd be either i don't really care what it would
be am i still gonna see it probably yeah but do i have do i care now no no i don't i don't care at
all this movie literally ruined all my love that i had for any of these characters even though i
had really no love for any of them. Yeah. Terrible movie.
Literally no connections.
Terrible movie.
Four out of 28 popcorns and a sad face.
I'm with you on that.
All the sad faces, zero popcorns.
Mm-hmm.
And, yeah.
All right.
As Allegiant.
Yep.
That's it, guys.
Thank you for listening.
We'll be back with another episode and
as always
to be continued