Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 122 - Sausage At The Waffle House

Episode Date: June 23, 2016

The boys return, and spend a good while waxing poetic over the Warcraft movie. The boys then talk about 70 year old drug dealers, strange art movies, human puppies and a naked man at the waffle house.... All this and more, on this exciting episode Cox n' Crendor.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendog! This is Crendog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio. Recorded! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendog in the morning! Crendog in the Mornar.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Hollar. Hollar to you too. Hollar there, pilgrim. It is me, Carl Stodd the Viking. Hello there, fellow American. Carl Stodd the Viking. Hello there, fellow American. It is me, your number one friend, Carl the Viking.
Starting point is 00:00:50 I discovered America, friend. Our apologizes. Our apologizes. Our apologizes to anyone offended. I can't apologize while still offending them. Our apologizes. Oh, my goodness.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Hello. How are you doing, sir? I'm doing all right. Let's see. What have I done lately? I can't wait to hear this. Oh, yeah. I saw the Warcraft movie.
Starting point is 00:01:22 So did I. Whoa. I know. Yeah. What do you think of the Warcraft movie. So did I! Whoa. I know. Yeah. What'd you think of the Warcraft movie? I went into it expecting it to be mediocre, and I came out of it saying that was pretty mediocre. Like, here's my thing, is I read so many reviews that were like, it is the shittiest shit that ever was. And I went in expecting it to be
Starting point is 00:01:45 awful and was like i actually enjoyed that yeah like i i it was fine it was a fine movie i don't it wasn't like this is the greatest film i've ever seen but i was like that was cool and then i like all right cool like my problem was that just the storytelling and the pacing were very bad. Well, it was way off. It was like the first half of the movie was really, really fast, and the second half was really, really like, now we have time to talk about stuff, which is a huge problem in the movie. And I said that in the review I made on my channel.
Starting point is 00:02:18 I just think they made a poor – if I had to be super hypercritical, the biggest wrong decision they made was trying to set up three movies in one movie. Yeah. It doesn't even need to be a complicated story, but they tried to make it one of those like, well, we have to include Durotan and we have to, you don't have to. Durotan wasn't a major player in Warcraft 1. It was about the Blackrock Orcs and it was about about uh, um, oh, what the hell is his name? Blackhand and Gul'dan. Let me just, um,
Starting point is 00:02:49 let me Google this and prove this. It's so simple. So here's, here's the plot. Alright, so, going back to what we were talking about earlier. They literally could have just left out several characters and, uh, focused on the main key points, right? Because there's all you need to know is that
Starting point is 00:03:05 there's orcs invade yeah the alliance is getting its ass kicked turns out the wizard who's on their side the the mage is evil and in the end the they they defeat the mage but they can't beat off the orcs for good but the orcs have their own inner turmoil and were introduced to the major character in that group, Ogrim Doomhammer. Right? So that's literally it. What they did is they added in Durotan and Thrall's family and all that stuff, which is an extra story to set up Warcraft 3, really, because it's not even in Warcraft 2. That plotline is nowhere to be seen in Warcraft 2. And that's one of those things that is just nonsense.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Like, this is legit what the storyline is. Alright, so, um, the Horde invade Azeroth, they attack Stormwind Keep, they fail miserably, it's a long-ass fight, right? Yeah. King Lane is eventually assassinated by Garona. By the way, spoilers for a 20-year-old story. King Lane is eventually
Starting point is 00:04:02 assassinated by Garona, who's the personal assassin of Gul'dan, which was changed for the movie. But, uh, Medivh is eventually killed by Lothar, and um, Gul'dan tries to steal the location of the Tomb of Sargeras from his mind, but, uh, Gul'dan
Starting point is 00:04:18 is like, totally effed up because of, uh, him being killed, and when he wakes up he finds out that Blackhand, his number one guy, is killed by Ogrym Doomhammer, and Doomhammer now sees the throne, and Doomhammer goes after Gul'dan. So basically, the plotline of the two, for those who can't follow that, is if you play on the human side, it's, we have to stop these orcs, we have to stop these orcs, oh shit,
Starting point is 00:04:41 the mage that was on our side was the bad guy the entire time. And if you play on the orc side, it's, we have to kill these humans, we have to stop these orcs. We have to stop these orcs. Oh, shit. The mage that was on our side was the bad guy the entire time. And if you play on the orc side, it's we have to kill these humans. We have to kill these humans. By the way, it turns out our leaders are bad people. So I, Ogrim Doomhammer, are going to save the day. That's literally the plot of the first game. They could have kept that in this movie, but they included Durotan and all that stuff because they've made the retconned universe so big now that it's insane. And so they have to include all these other little
Starting point is 00:05:06 things and you know the story of Thrall and all that stuff didn't show up till much later but they included in this movie and it's one of those things where it's like alright I mean if you're gonna include Durotan you should have just made Durotan into Ogrim Doomhammer which they did but then they kept Doomhammer's
Starting point is 00:05:22 story. Yeah. They made him like I'm a traitor but now I kept Doomhammer's story. Yeah. They made him like, I'm a traitor, but now I'm not a traitor, literally minutes later. And, well, like, what are they trying? Are they trying to do, like, Warcraft 1, 2, and 3, all of the movies? Yes, I think that's what they're trying to do. The problem that I had with that is that 2
Starting point is 00:05:37 literally has nothing to do with Thrall. And so they did all this setup to introduce Thrall, who's really important in 3 and beyond, but is not at all in 2. In fact, 2, the biggest characters are Alliance characters and Ner'zhul, for example. So Ner'zhul and Gul'dan are the two biggest. And Gul'dan's been introduced already. But that's when Gul'dan creates Death Knights and stuff, and it's Gul'dan
Starting point is 00:06:06 and Cho'Gall, and those are big characters, right? Like, major, but it's also when they introduce Ner'zhul in the expansion, and then Ner'zhul goes on to become the Lich King. So, all that stuff is relevant to 3, and I guess can be continued from 1, but the vast majority of
Starting point is 00:06:22 it is about the Alliance heroes, and their story. And those are characters who then don't show up in three. So the biggest issue I have with this whole franchise is they have to change everything. In order to make three movies make sense, they literally have to change everything because Warcraft 1 only has a few characters that make it into two. Warcraft 2 only has a few characters. They introduce a whole bunch of new ones, but only a few ones that make it into three.
Starting point is 00:06:46 And many of the characters from 1 are not in 3. My god. So it's like, I don't know how you make a trilogy like that. But it's not my job to do it, so good luck, fellas! Sounds like one of the big things, is I was like, oh, I've never played Warcraft 1, so this will teach me all about it. And I was like, oh, I just left confused and like, wait, what? Yeah, the Warcraft 1 story this will teach me all about it and I was like oh I just left confused and like wait what yeah the Warcraft 1 story
Starting point is 00:07:08 is very simple remember it's an old game so they didn't like go too crazy with it and it's literally just orcs versus humans and you play as either orcs or you play as humans that's literally like the story and then the canon ending was that the orcs won
Starting point is 00:07:23 and you didn't see in the movie but you might see it if they make a second one. The orcs literally burned down Stormwind. Oh, whoa. Yeah. Doomhammer attacks Stormwind, kills off the humans. Lothar flees to Lordaeron asking for help. And that's when the alliance is formed in the second war. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:07:44 So Storm wind is destroyed like the orcs win and then the humans kick their ass in Warcraft 2 like that's the look cannon and so get back yeah this one's one of those like this one's one of those like not ending movies right there's no ending in this movie it's hey we'll see you in the sequel
Starting point is 00:08:03 it's like how are you gonna make that sequel and here's my thing I are you going to make that sequel? And here's my thing. I think they've made more than enough money to justify, especially in China, to justify a sequel. I don't know how they make that sequel. Yeah, I don't know either. Like, I just don't know. Which means they have to either focus
Starting point is 00:08:19 on a few characters from the third movie and bring them into the fold in the second and make it about them. So instead of Sylvanas' sister being the main character, it's Sylvanas is a main character in the second one. And she is just an elf. And then in the third one, then she transforms. Yeah, that makes sense. Or, you know, Orgrim becomes a major character in the second one. And then he hands Doomhammer off to Thrall in the third.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Or they get rid of Ner'zhul entirely and they get rid of that storyline with the Lich King and instead do Gul'dan is the conduit into the Burning Legion so the third movie is like, Gul'dan's dead but the Burning Legion's here the third movie is like, Gul'dan's dead, but the Burning Legion's here. So they fight, you know, the Archimonde or whoever. Like, they have to literally just cut
Starting point is 00:09:12 a million characters from this. I don't know how they're gonna do it. Good luck. It, I imagine, will be the hardest thing in the world to do. Because you can see, making this movie... Yeah! It's just, like, confusing, because they're like jamming so much stuff together and i'm like wait they're like he's the guardian and i'm like wait
Starting point is 00:09:28 what's a guardian do i'm like oh they'll explain it and then it's like he's the guardian he's the guardian i'm like what's a guardian do but like so like i knew what like i assumed what he did but they never explained what he fully did yeah the basic gist of medivh is his mom and him and i imagine his mother's whatever his whole family and all these different people have been guardians. They've been guardians of Azeroth, like the world's protector, for years and years and years and years and years and years, right? And the whole gist of why he's a demon is a long, long time ago, his mom fought Sargeras, the defiling leader of the Burning Crusade. fought sargeras the you know the defiling leader of the burning crusade and his mom uh even though she beat him sargeras uh found out that she was pregnant and like put himself in the baby oh and so he basically after she had this kid at least that's what i remember either she was pregnant
Starting point is 00:10:21 at the time or he like got pregnant. I don't know. It's one of the two. Yeah. But so she becomes pregnant and gives birth to Medivh, and Medivh has Sargeras in him. So as time goes on, Sargeras gets more and more powerful inside this mage's body. And his plan is, I'm going to use the orcs To invade Azeroth since I can't Do it on my own and then when they're here I'll unleash my powers and then
Starting point is 00:10:50 Just go nuts and we'll take over this planet And then we'll burn it all down because that's kind of what I do Yeah and so that's sort of the setup Of why Medivh's bad and then The third game Medivh comes back like I'm a good guy now and I want to make up For what I did and then He disappears again?
Starting point is 00:11:05 Like, it's one of those things that is never, ever explained. He dies in the first game, comes back in the third game, and is like, so I'm here again. Yeah. And you play the third game, so you know. He shows up and he's like, listen to me, King of Lordaeron. And everyone's like, what the hell? He's like, hey. But no one questions how this guy is still alive.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Yeah, or if he's still evil. Yeah, and they're just like, okay, sure, and he's like, I gotta go around and find people, and no one believes him, so of course he finds Thrall, and that sets everything into motion. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't know how they'll do it. I don't have an effing clue how they'll do it.
Starting point is 00:11:41 It's not like it would have been helpful if they did a Lord of the Rings intro, like, this is what happened in the blah, blah, blah. They definitely tried to do that. And I, from what I hear is there's 40 extra minutes of footage that was cut from
Starting point is 00:11:54 the movie. That was kind of like that. That was character dialogue and talking stuff. But from what I heard, everyone involved was like, it actually made the movie worse. Oh, so explaining things made the movie worse. That's what I heard, which was like, it actually made the movie worse. Oh. So explaining things made the movie worse.
Starting point is 00:12:06 That's what I heard, which is like, I'll wait till I see that later. Yeah. How's that make sense? Maybe your definition of worse is different from my definition of worse. Maybe you want it to be like a crazy action movie. I just wanted everything to make sense. Yeah. Because then there's parts where it's like, oh, he has a son.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Oh, his son's dead. They want you to feel sad. I'm like, I don't even know this character. like, oh, he has a son. Oh, his son's dead. They want you to feel sad. I'm like, I don't even know this character. I don't care he died. Yeah, yeah. It's one of those movies that I walked out and was like, I had fun with that. But it's definitely not anything that I would go see multiple times. It's a movie that I would say if you're a Warcraft fan, I'd be like, yeah, no, you definitely should go see it.
Starting point is 00:12:41 And I liked it. But it's one of those things that, you know how TBS every once in a while will play a movie, and somehow you just start watching it, and you're like, oh, I'm watching it. I feel like I would just not watch this one again. It reminds me, you know what it reminded me of? This movie reminded me of the first X-Men movie. Whoa. It is like the first X-Men movie. Yeah, and that it's okay, but there's so much going on, so much happening, and there's so many characters.
Starting point is 00:13:08 You don't ever really get truly an introduction as to who's who. Yeah. It basically focuses on Wolverine and Professor X, and this movie was literally Durotan and I guess kind of Khadgar Medivh Lothar were like all Professor X. It's one of those movies where they introduced so much and so much happened, they wanted you to feel stuff. It even had scenes that reminded me of that one thing where it's like Storm meets Frog or Toad, whatever the hell his name is. It's like, you know what happens when a toad gets hit by lightning?
Starting point is 00:13:39 The same thing that happens to everything else. And you're like, I guess that was supposed to be a cool line. That's really stupid. There's a lot of that but with that said x-men 2 came out and because you kind of already knew the characters already when x-men 2 came out that movie was dope that's maybe my favorite x-men movie ever and it was it was a ton of fun yeah i think the second warcraft movie would be better because you already know the characters then right and you have the setup of the world. So I'm hoping that's what's going to happen is we have this awesome second movie that we know characters now.
Starting point is 00:14:11 And so we have Gul'dan, who's the villain, and we have Ogrim Doomhammer, who's like, I'm back. And I screwed up in that first movie, but I'm going to save the day now. You have Lothar, who's like, hey, I need help, Lordaeron, please. Because I would imagine the beginning of the second movie, Stormwind burns down, and so he needs to go and get help and stuff like that. And then you introduce Sylvanas instead of Illyria, because Sylvanas would be the elf
Starting point is 00:14:36 that would make sense going into the third movie. And then, I don't know, like Magni or some dwarf to help. And then maybe, I don't know, like, I don't know, like Magni or some dwarf to help. And then maybe, I don't know, like, I don't know. Khadgar's in it. Like, they just have to introduce characters that would fit into the storyline of the third movie to make it flow. Because otherwise, it'll be a giant mess. So, yeah, I can't wait to see what they do. That is quite true. That's why, I don't wait to see what they do that is quite true that's why
Starting point is 00:15:06 I don't know I still would have rather seen like a trilogy of Warcraft 3 with Arthas yeah but that's one of those movies where you have to explain stuff like a lot of the backstory that if you exclude all of that he's basically Darth Vader yeah if you exclude all the other stuff he becomes Darth Vader
Starting point is 00:15:22 he's this nice guy who is warped by darkness and then becomes pure evil. It's basically his story. Yeah. There's just so much shit. Yeah. It's like, well. Also, I forgot about the crazy art thing.
Starting point is 00:15:38 What? Oh, yeah. Oh, did you not watch it? No, I did watch it. Oh, that's right. We watched it together. Yeah, and then I watched it again. Oh, that's right. We did. We watched it together. Yeah. And then I watched it again.
Starting point is 00:15:46 All right. All right. Your thoughts. I have no idea what's going on. It is crazy. So yeah. Even the second time. The crazy art thing.
Starting point is 00:15:55 I think the basic gist is as our cameras get, by the way, if people don't know what we're talking about, go watch or listen to last episode. Yeah. I think the premise is that in society, as there's more pixels per photograph, right, or something like that, there are more ways not to be seen. And then it starts to twist into how not to be seen is like be a woman over 50 or be an illegal combatant or be thrown in prison. Or a spam email. Yeah, it becomes spoof of itself, right? Where it's like you won't be seen because society ignores you.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Yeah. And that's sort of the way it goes. And then it devolves into a woman singing – like a song being sung and then green screen people dancing and then the camera crew going missing it's very weird and it's basically art it's basically art and it reminded me of everything you love about movies so i was like this guy this is this is crendor's jam right here oh yeah even though i didn't know like anything it was still brilliant i still loved it yeah it was great speaking of brilliant and loving it while i was in England, I totally forgot to talk about this last week.
Starting point is 00:17:06 My mom messaged me and was like, Jesse, you need to discuss this. I'm going to send you two pictures right now. Okay. And I want you to simply look them over. All right. And just look them over. All right. Take a moment.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Let's just see here huh interesting all right so uh there was a tv show actually you know what why don't you describe what you see all right so first thing you open up is it looks like it's one of those daytime talk shows right it's like a bunch of people on a couch with a tv behind them and they're about to be like hey everybody waking up in the morning here's 10 tips of why drinking coffee leads to better health and like they just do all that and have the morning show but they have guests on sometimes and it looks like their guest is a human dog. Absolutely. Absolutely. So this guy was on a reality show, question mark,
Starting point is 00:18:10 that was on in England while we were there. And it is a man in a full body latex suit dressed as a Dalmatian. And from what we could gather, here's what this was. This is a guy who role plays as a puppy dog and he used to he used to have a fiance currently has a boyfriend but his fiance stores all of his stuff and take or ex-fiance stores all his stuff and takes care of him right and the basic gist of
Starting point is 00:18:39 this uh uh documentary was that this guy loves being a puppy. It's not weird what he's doing. He loves being a puppy and he wants to go to like a world man dog show. And it's in Germany and he's been training his whole life and he's like a cute little dog and he just... So anyway, he goes to this German dog show for men and his routine is like he rolls around on the ground, and he picks stuff up with his mouth, and he has a fully functioning mouth on his dog mask.
Starting point is 00:19:12 And his boyfriend slash trainer is throwing him a ball. He acts like a dog, right? He acts like a dog. And admittedly, it's a little weird, but you's you know if this is what this guy loves whatever like whatever yeah at the dog show turns out everyone there is in bondage gear and like fake dog outfits and all their routines are like dudes humping each other and like it's like sex play he gets up there and it's him chasing a ball and it pans the crowd and the crowd's like, what? And you feel so bad for him because that's when you realize this guy,
Starting point is 00:19:49 there's nothing sexual about what this guy wants to do. He just wants to be a dog. Everyone else there is just grinding on each other. And you're like, oh, this poor guy, he thought it was something completely different. And so even the judges are like, yeah, all right, there he goes. He's getting a ball, giving it to his master. And everyone's disinterested. You feel so bad for him.
Starting point is 00:20:14 In the end, he still manages to get third place. But when you look at everyone up on stage, he's this bright white, like, black spotted Dalmatian. Everyone else is just like a hairy dude in bondage gear you're just like i could not feel worse for you sir that's that's quite the story that's like it was it was entertaining as hell i'll give it that i can't believe i forgot about it that's hashtag human puppy the secret world of human puppies i i've learned something today about the secret world of human puppies i mean is he the only one i i don't think so i imagine he didn't like think this up by himself i imagine he's seen other people do it but this is like i think he'd know
Starting point is 00:20:56 where to go then for the the dog show he said it was the most prestigious in the world or something like that so he goes to it and it's just guys in bondage gear it was so sad it was so sad crendor it was so sad that's pretty sad he just wants to be a dog he did man just wants to be a dog yeah he's not it's not his fetish or anything he's just he's a dog i mean it's true there was nothing sexual about it he just wanted to be a dog. Well, that reminds me. I had a dream. Oh, God. Yeah? And you were in the dream.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Oh, God. Wait. What's the transition between this and the dog? Because I'm worried for both of us. I was just thinking of weird stuff. Oh, okay. All I wrote down in this dream thing was Intern intern What an intern for an intern
Starting point is 00:21:48 Like two interns It says Jesse then I entered And then intern intern And that's it What does that mean though So in the dream You had a TV show Called intern intern
Starting point is 00:22:02 I don't know i like that show that's a great name for a show and i remember all i remember is it was kind of like friends and i was stuck in the bathroom and i was trying to like kick the door open and i'm like i gotta get to the intern intern show but i couldn't break the door down and then i woke up wait so you don't even know anything about my show no no one cares about the fact that you were stuck in a bathroom yeah i didn't want to be there yeah no one cares about that what about intern intern uh crendor what's that show about all i know is it was a 90s sitcom all right i can imagine that all right we need to come with what intern interns about intern intern is about a guy who goes in.
Starting point is 00:22:46 It's a college kid, right? And he goes for an internship. Yeah. And the guy he meets, he meets this guy in an office. And he's like a wacky, crazy boss, right? And the kid's like, oh, man, this is going to be wild. This guy's almost my age, and he's wacky and crazy. And he's like, come out with a drink.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Come out and get a drink with me. And they go out and get a drink. He's like, you're fun. You're hired. And he's like, awesome. My first internship. And when he shows up the next day or the next Monday, he finds out that the guy who hired him wasn't the boss, but the intern to the boss.
Starting point is 00:23:19 And the kid who was hired is the intern to the intern to the boss. Oh shit. Intern intern. I like it it i'd watch that show i i wouldn't that sounds like an awful show well i'd watch it once we give it a try it is our show we'd watch it once it is our show yeah so that was uh that was my dream i had i i have another dream and it turns out to be real right so it turns out that this has since been declared a fake story but i don't care what anyone says it's real to me yeah this is a story i'm sending to you right now all right it's just like tito. I'm all in on this guy selling energy drinks filled with crystal meth and gasoline out of his
Starting point is 00:24:06 tree fort. 72 year old Jasper June of Boone County, West Virginia was arrested on charges of making and selling his homemade energy drinks containing meth out of his tree fort.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Now you might say, why is Cndor laughing because jasper june looks amazing he looks like popeye at 90 his energy drink basically looks like dishwashing liquid i guess yeah like it's kind of like a mountain dew like one bottle, but filled with dishwashing liquid. When police showed up, they found Jasper June wearing an adult diaper and browsing through Arabic porno magazines. Police tested 25 bottles of his energy drink, which contained meth. Police discovered June's practice several... Uh, uh, uh, sorry. Police discovered June's practice after several high school girls had to be hospitalized for internal bleeding after consuming the drinks. This is what June had to say about these drinks.
Starting point is 00:25:15 They're just energy drinks like Rockstar Monster. It's not meth in there. It's just lemonade, caffeine, sugar, and a couple drops of gasoline. I swear to God I didn't put meth in there. He then backtracked and went with this version. Okay, I just put a little meth in there to get him addicted and keep the customers coming back. I know they all testify against me, so let me make something else clear. I pissed in every bottle uh yep jasper like if this was any other state even florida i'd be suspicious but west virginia
Starting point is 00:25:58 i can see this happening in west virginia i don't care they say this is fake story it's real to me yeah to me this is real fake story. It's real to me. Yeah, to me this is real. This is very real. As real as it's gonna get. Those look like he looks like a 72 year old that would make these. Probably done with life. And Jasper.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Perfect name. Jasper June. Jasper June. Jasper June. And the fact, I think what gives it away possibly is the adult diaper and arabic porno magazines i don't know where he'd get those and how why he does those but i don't know maybe maybe it's true who are we to judge although although here's a story out of england man dies after accidentally drinking 34,000 pounds of crystal meth, thinking it was health drink.
Starting point is 00:26:48 34,000 pounds is in, like, the money, not the actual weight. Romano Diaz, 55, was given a bottle of what appeared to be a fruit-based drink by his daughter. It had been delivered to her home in a package showing the correct address but the wrong name. After drinking half a glass of the drug, Mr. Diaz began to feel ill and died shortly afterwards. Yeah. See? And that's real.
Starting point is 00:27:10 And that's real! Yeah. Come on. So why couldn't this be kinda real? See, here's the thing. If you dream hard enough, one day, it'll come true. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's a quote I just came up with.
Starting point is 00:27:26 And apparently, it's actually a real problem. Combining any stimulant with an energy drink is already a horrible thing. But now people are doing it with meth. So apparently, it's a real thing. Shit, dude. It's a real thing. So if that's a real thing, why couldn't Jasper June be real? Isn't there a little Jasper June in all in all of us yeah and not not the creepy kind
Starting point is 00:27:47 all right well let's go then to choppy covers up the sky the crendor crendor how's that traffic out there here i am uh i'm up here in the sky right now. It's a pretty nice, uh, summer night. Uh, I can't see a lot because it is nighttime and we haven't added on any flashlights or anything. Uh, however, I do have two people that are, uh, sitting off the edge of the helicopter, uh, shining flashlights. And that's, uh, Team Ja Anderson and Sheena45. I don't know why you'd name yourself 45, but I guess that's what their name is.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Is she a rapper, Crendor? Uh, yeah. And, uh, yeah. I can't really see anything. The flashlights are useless. So, uh, back to you. Thanks, Crendor. Now let's go over to the weather desk. Crendor, how's the weather?
Starting point is 00:28:46 Weather. Here we go. Weather. Seven. Four. Nine. Two. One.
Starting point is 00:28:52 Four. Wait. Four. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. We're going to Eppenbach, Germany. Perfect. Perfect. I guess the technical name here is Eppenbach baden-wurttemberg
Starting point is 00:29:07 germany yes of course yeah germany uh 54 degrees uh mostly cloudy uh feels like 53 uh we got a high of 65 a low of 48 the rain is gonna start at 11 30 a.m be wary uh that's gonna stop you know when it begins yeah so just throw that one out there also uv index is five out of ten do not stand out there for too long or the other five out of ten is gonna get you uh what yeah uh and uh i think okay let's see let's check the radar here whoa it's so weird because when you look at europe it's like states but they're countries yeah no that's that's right that's crazy dude i love how you're just having this epiphany now Yeah Like going from No wonder they fought all the time Wow
Starting point is 00:30:08 You're getting it It's like you're finally learning It's like if We had a war with Indiana You know what Sometimes I want to Sometimes I want to And we got Woppy here
Starting point is 00:30:23 But he's in the last of his repairs so he'll be he'll be back next time all right and then let's go to sports sports uh so today in sports uh we actually have quite a bit of news the penguins won the san lico i know was shit-talking them a few podcasts. I was like, they're crap. You were. They aren't even gonna win and they totally won. Was your dad excited? He was thrilled.
Starting point is 00:30:51 He emailed me immediately to tell me to let me know. In case I was too busy to notice. Gotta tell you something important right now.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Emergency. It's like, call him. It's like, the Penguins won. Penguins won, dummy. Okay, dad. Just wanna let you know, the penguins won. Penguins won, dummy. Okay, dad. Just want to let you know, stupid.
Starting point is 00:31:08 All right. Thanks. So that was cool. And the NBA finals are in game seven. Yeah. The Cavs versus the Warriors. Yes, that's going to be a good game seven. I might actually watch a basketball.
Starting point is 00:31:22 I won't, but I will read up on it the next day, I'm sure. Yeah. And then baseball is just being baseball still. Baseball is still dragging along. It's a 12-month season that never ends. And that's sports. All righty. Oh, you didn't want to talk about football?
Starting point is 00:31:40 Football in Europe is a big thing right now. Yeah, that's right. They're having all the football. Let's see. Ronaldo falls short. i don't know what that means how chile's beating mexico argentina argentina beat venezuela uh let's see what else european championship wait it's like happening all over the country yeah man or the world i mean it's a big thing what like is it a like event here's here i'll give you the example of why soccer doesn't matter in the states at e3 when they had a new fifa game ea had all these lines no one was in line to play fifa no one and that's that's how you. And the rest of the world, that is EA's number one selling
Starting point is 00:32:26 game. Yeah. In the States, no one could care. Yeah, I mean that game is a big teraflop. 58 teraflops. That was my entire rating scale for E3 was teraflops. That conference was a solid
Starting point is 00:32:42 4 out of 8 teraflops. That was a lot of teraflops. that conference was a solid four out of eight teraflops that was a lot of teraflops let's see Vargas completes hat trick yeah I don't know this is it's funny speak I don't know what they're talking about
Starting point is 00:32:54 yeah I don't I get the world cup right I get that but this is kind of like a world cup but it's not the world cup I'm confused right and you should be yeah so i'll just wait until it's the olympics maybe it's for the olympics never happen which may never happen the olympics in freaking brazil is like we are in a state of emergency yeah the water might poison people people who travel here might get Zika and have babies with cone heads.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Who knows? Who knows what's going to happen? Yeah, that's weird. Meanwhile, China's like, we'll do it. I mean, you know what? Let's go to China. Let's just take it there. They got enough room. Although China, in order to make theirs happen,
Starting point is 00:33:42 had to build a wall around the poor sections of the city. China's great at building walls Yeah Beijing was God damn it It's true you know what you're absolutely right I bet that's where Trump got inspired He did Like I love the Chinese
Starting point is 00:33:57 They have a great wall we'll have a greater wall They have a great wall We'll have the best wall Trump Alright I guess that's it yeah okay what's our big news story of the day big story all right uh let's see we got some great ones here um some of these are just the worst you'll flip flip over this gymnast's trampoline skills. No, I won't. No. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Somehow this guy gets to tickle a grizzly bear. Nope, don't care. Let's see. Foul odor uncovers 11-foot gator rotting in neighborhood storm drain. Nope, don't care. Naked man exposes his sausage at Waffle House. There we go. There it House. There we go. There it is.
Starting point is 00:34:47 There we go. That's the story. It's very easy once you find it. All right. So, there's a lot of people that expose themselves at Waffle House. I've learned that over the years. Wait, wait. Is this you talking or is this the article?
Starting point is 00:35:07 No, this is just me remember that one story that lady like threw a plate or something when she's naked at waffle house i guess that's true i guess the waffle house is known for its naked people and not having waffles like that attracts a very specific clientele. It does. Naked man exposes his sausage at Waffle House. A witness said, I wouldn't know how to tell my kid what was going on at that time. He was built like a potato. What? Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing? I'm not sure. Is she talking about his wiener or his body? I think his body. Is she saying body type wiener or his body? I think his body. Is she saying body type was potato shaped? Because if you have a potato shaped dong, that is a problem. That is a weirdly shaped penis.
Starting point is 00:35:55 That is an unfortunate penis. He is showing a waffle lot of skin. A Georgia man is facing public indecency charges after allegedly trying to force his way into Waffle House while stark naked. Bashir Rashid, 36, was arrested after he drove his BMW to a Waffle House, got out of the car, and tried to enter the restaurant without clothes on. Witnesses told police that Rashid began stroking his penis after exiting the car, walked up to the entrance where he allegedly pressed his sex organ against the glass entry door yeah uh restaurant employee immediately called 9-1-1 and according to the atlanta journal this is the waffle house a gentleman just got out of his car and is naked standing in front of my door he just peed on my door and now he's walking inside sir you cannot come in here i i just want to point out
Starting point is 00:36:48 i thought the beginning of that was going to start with this is the waffle house we will not have someone be naked here sir if anything that is what the waffle house is known for yeah come on he knows that yeah that's why he came there yeah uh derwin rogers said he was attempting to eat when he saw the brazen display of flesh outside his window instead of eating his vittles rogers decided to go viral by live streaming the incident it kind of shocked me as a customer ruined my meal rogers told wsv tv i immediately went to video i didn't know what he was gonna do rogers told the station that something was obviously wrong with the naked man he was saying a lot of different things he's not he's burning up or wait
Starting point is 00:37:37 he's hot he's burning up apparently he was it must have been death valley up there he's on he's on drugs yeah he's definitely on drugs uh still the incident presented a challenging parenting moment for rogers i wouldn't know how to tell my kid what was going on at that time to see a grown man he told the station he was built like a potato uh here's a clip of what Roger's live streamed. Oh, no. Oh, no. Let me just blink that. I am about to watch this. What the sh...
Starting point is 00:38:13 Oh, my God. I have to go to CBS 46 to watch this. What? Hold on. Hold on. it's just not working what i think it's all right all right i just got a commercial from jimmy dean sausages before this video i literally yeah i i'm watching a video about jimmy dean sausages i'm not'm watching a video about Jimmy Dean sausages I'm not even watching
Starting point is 00:38:49 a thing about a man saw this is the most ironic ad I've ever seen in my life that's a very ironic ad meanwhile I'm watching this video alright there we go alright the man pulls up oh nope there he is there he is
Starting point is 00:39:03 the man's like oh come on man The man pulls up. There he is. The man's like, oh, come on, man. Come on, man. But he's filming all of it. He's like, come on, man. Yeah. Come on, man. Can't even eat my meal. Come on, man Come on
Starting point is 00:39:27 This man is just Messing with Like, I guess he's doing laundry Outside the window Yeah He's not even showing off Like, ah, here's my wiener He's not even doing anything
Starting point is 00:39:36 He's just Hanging out by the window He's just chilling there I think he's Looking at his sock I don't know what he's doing He's very interested in it Yeah, and now he's walking away.
Starting point is 00:39:45 His butt is hanging out. He's doing like a little jaunt. A little jaunty jog. And he's going out to his car, I guess. Yeah. And this guy's still filming him. For a man who is very angry about his dinner being ruined or breakfast or whatever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:02 What's wrong with this dude, man? The best part is he got his food to go. got his food to go what the hell does he care not gonna lie the commentary made that video definitely let's try to eat my meal oh man come on man uh yeah so i mean eventually reced retreated to his car and was arrested a short time later. Well, wait, he's unable to explain why he was naked? Drugs explain that. Yeah, that's true. Drugs do explain that.
Starting point is 00:40:36 That's easy. Drugs explain all that. That's not even an issue. What I want is, I like how the article started with the fact that he drove up in his BMW. I want to see an Audi commercial where it's a guy driving by a dude naked in his BMW
Starting point is 00:40:52 smacking his wiener against the Waffle House and the Audi guy's like and then the voiceover is like, some cars are filled with assholes. You want to see an Audi commercial where you always make it like the bmw guy is a dick yeah the audi guy is always the nice dude i want this one to be the bmw guy is naked flashing his wiener and the audi guy's like oh bmw drivers i want that commercial i want
Starting point is 00:41:19 the commercial so badly oh my god i'd love that yep that's all i'm saying hollywood call us we'll start making you magic dude and selling you energy drinks with meth in it and then all we need is uh matthew mcconaughey all right all right all right some people of all these i do i drive one and he's like i don't pull my dick out in front of strangers In a Waffle House Alright alright alright 270 pounds of naked man Outside a Waffle House
Starting point is 00:41:53 Uh huh Perfect They say I don't know where I'm going But have you ever seen a naked man jerk it outside a Waffle House think I'll go anywhere but there
Starting point is 00:42:12 laughing laughing laughing laughing yep that's it that's it for the show alright thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next time with another episode.
Starting point is 00:42:28 And as always, to be continued.

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