Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 141 - Hooters, Tooters, and Physics Shooters
Episode Date: September 26, 2017On this episode, the boys discover the secret animal agenda, Crendor gets an invite to Arizona, and Jesse discovers the many MANY terrible names for boobs. All this and more on this episode of Cox n' ...Crendor! This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Sign up today for 10% off your first purchase by going to Squarespace.com/Coxandcrendor
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Hello, everybody! It's time for Ghost on Trendom!
Ghost on Trendom in the morning.
In the morning!
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live!
In 4-hour recording studio.
Recorded! Hello everybody, welcome back to Gox and Crendor in the morning.
Hey, hi, how's it going? Hello, hello, hello.
Hi, hello, good. Everything's fine.
Hello, hello.
You don't gotta go crazy.
Hold on.
All right, let me pull open my notes here.
I always write down notes.
You have notes?
I have notes too.
Nice.
We prepare.
People don't think we prepare for this.
We prepare.
Yeah, whenever I see something crazy happen,
I'm like, I gotta write that down.
That's me too. Yeah. I write down crazy stuff all the time my phone my phone notes are filled with crazy things i've seen or been a part of it's true i for some reason here's a note here's
a note on my phone i couldn't tell you why i have this I don't know this is from
82417
not sure what happened on 82417
but I know I wrote down this note
Choco Starlight Intergalactic
Pimp
I don't know I don't know who Choco
Starlight is I don't know why
he's an Intergalactic Pimp
Choco Starlight
Choco Starlight he's an intergalactic pimp choco starlight choco starlight he's an intergalactic
pimp it's one of those things where you write it down you're like i'm never gonna forget this
can't figure out can't figure out why i uh why i have that uh another thing i wrote down which is
it came happened this this past saturday i went out to lunch and after i was done eating lunch it was
at this mexican restaurant i've never been to before but it seemed it was pretty cool restaurant
but across the street was this very very dive bar like ultra dive bar right three in the afternoon
i'm feeling pretty like all right for margaritas come outside like having a good day across the street i witnessed maybe my favorite
la conversation i've ever not even a conversation site an la site right a uh i don't know the full
story all i know is the end of it which was a woman screaming in back into a bar from the front
door yelling at the top of her lungs go get a titty job you jealous
bitch.
And then she turned around to leave
and as she turned around to leave there were cops
at the red light and the cops were like
ma'am is everything okay here? And she's
like oh yeah baby it's fine you're hot
nice pants and walked away.
And I looked around like did anyone
else see this? And no one else gave a damn.
I was like, what?
Not even the cops cared.
She was obviously drunk and obviously getting kicked out of a bar.
And the cops were like, oh, we can't even be asked.
All right.
First off, how old is this woman?
I want to be generous and say 50s.
Okay.
She could have been older.
It's L.A.
I don't know.
That's true.
I also like that her insult was
go get a titty job you jealous bitch.
Like that's that is the most
LA insult I've ever heard
in my life.
What it like? Well, we
learned that she has a titty job.
Yes, obviously.
I like how we're calling it a titty job.
That's what the woman said so that's what we're gonna call it
sounds like it'd be like a mission impossible like funny teen like the titty job so dumb so dumb
so dumb uh yeah so that's that's kind of what happened to me is i got to witness some weirdness
and i have no i can't tell you the ins or out of what happened but i know that at some point
a woman was kicked out of a bar and her angry angry response was, go get a titty job.
That's the type of person who would write one of those Yelp reviews.
I can only imagine the Yelp review she wrote, like, this no-titty-job-having-bitch-kicked-me-out-of-a-bar.
Everyone in there needs titty jobs.
That whole bar. Did it. Filled with no- titty jobs. That whole bar.
Titty.
Filled with no titty bitches.
Oh, you know she's just furious.
You think she's married?
I'm going to say if you're at a bar at three in the afternoon, you are not married.
I'm going to go to live and say no.
Maybe she's depressed because her husband works all the time.
That could be it. You could be right. I judged her and say no. Maybe she's depressed because her husband works all the time. That could be it.
You could be right.
I judged her too harshly.
She might be depressed.
She's gotta go there.
He bought her the tit job.
We need to stop calling it that.
That's what it is.
Oh, God. Uh-huh. The boob job. that's what it is oh god uh huh
the boob job
that's I mean that's
just something about the word
titty versus the word boob
both are like boy
do breasts have terrible
like words
for them yeah
we gotta come up with a new word for breasts.
Like...
Boob words.
Like a boob word?
Why not?
Like, penises have a lot of names.
A lot of names.
Jugs.
Orbs.
Gords.
Elmer Fuds.
Beach umbrellas.
Damn, girl girl you got them
what that's that's what it says buddhas wait buddhas wait buddhas sweater stretchers that's
the one uh lung protectors beach umbrellas frost detectors scooby snacks snake eyes Lung Protectors, Beach Umbrellas, Frost Detectors, Scooby Snacks, Snake Eyes, Ducks.
I stand corrected.
There are plenty of names.
They're all terrible, though.
They're all terrible.
Although, Elmer Fudd's, I feel like, is a solid, solid addition.
Let's see.
It's Hooters, Shooters, Physics, Tooters.
Hooters, Shooters, and Physics Tutors. Hooters, Shooters, and Physics Tutors.
Humpty Dumplings.
Crandor,
can we make a book called Hooters, Shooters, and Physics
Shooters?
What would it be about?
It's a collection of scary stories.
Four pages.
Hooters, Shooters,
and Physics Shooters. that's incredible jogging partners holy grails flying saucers traffic stoppers
pillows armadillos armadillos Armadillos. Armadillos? Armadillos.
Rutabagas.
Not even clever.
Congo bongos.
Bowling pins.
These are just bad now.
Yeah.
Bowling pins?
That's not even accurate.
All right.
There's like a bunch of bowling pins. If your breasts look like bowling pins, that is a problem.
That is a problem. Yeah, that's a problem that is a problem that's a problem yes that's
words for boobs here's some stuff i wrote down all right one of these we were walking out of
a restaurant and this guy walking out of the restaurant as well was like they don't have
water they just have some machine that puts out water and i didn't know what he meant
that's what he said.
They don't have water.
They just have some machine that puts out water.
But then they have water.
Yeah.
That's why I was confused about it.
What does he think?
What does he think?
Like, is he expecting bottled water?
Was he expecting table service water?
Like they bring in water. Instead, it was like a fountain drink thing, and he had to get water.
I don't understand what his
problem is. I don't know.
It's just water. Maybe he
was saying that fountain drink
water is bad water
compared to
bottled water. I don't know what he meant.
Maybe he wants his water imported
in a glass bottle from the
Swiss Alps. The dude wants his Voss water. That's what he wants. Yeah, he wanted that, and they just poured it out a glass bottle from the Swiss. He wants his boss.
He wants his boss walking.
That's what he wants.
Yeah, he wanted that.
And they just poured it out of the tap.
The machine.
Well, that's but still like his statement.
They don't have water.
Just walk.
At the same place.
There's a table of like business guys.
Probably like seven of them that had like super like five
really expensive wine bottles and the one guy got up and he's like gotta make a pit stop on the way
out and then he like walked to the bathroom i mean i i think that's weird but i get it at least i
understand that one that guy's like i gotta go got to go pee, everyone. Yeah. Bye.
I thought it was a good new terminology I can use.
You get up, you're like, gotta take a pit stop.
I'm thinking pit stop would be if you were, imagine we're on the road.
We're driving somewhere.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, I need to take a pit stop.
Because we're in the process of moving, that joke makes sense.
But if you're just standing up from dinner and saying that that's just that's
stupid well i guess they could be on their way out and so he makes his way over to the bathroom
first i guess that's true i still think it's stupid but whatever i'm gonna start saying it
don't do that uh and then all right this is the main thing i saw a commercial for gogurt you remember gogurt
i do okay now have you ever had trouble opening a gogurt before i've never eaten a gogurt i don't
like my yogurt to come out of a tube okay well you're missing out and now no i'm not no i'm not
if anyone else is out there have you you ever opened a Go-Gurt?
All right.
Yeah.
All right.
It's not that hard.
You peel open the thing and you squeeze the Go-Gurt in.
Now.
I like how you.
Hold on.
Hold on.
You said, has anyone out there ever eaten a Go-Gurt?
You paused, waited for the response that never came, and then go, yeah, it's easy to open a Go-Gurt.
You responded to no one.
You were like a children's TV show.
You were like, do you see where the go-gurt is?
You found it.
That's just what you did.
Well, yeah, most people in their car are probably like,
yeah, I've done that.
And I'm like, okay, good.
Okay, okay, Dora, keep going.
Now, have you seen the commercial
for the new easy open Go-Gurt?
Wow, me too.
Yes, now they got this Easy Open Go-Gurt.
And I was like, what's the difference?
Shouldn't that just be normal Go-Gurt that they make easy to open?
That's because Go-Burt is for Go-Burt.
That guy's Go-Burt is for kids.
Go-Gurt is for kids is the reason why. And probably kids have a hard time opening Go-gurt is for kids is the reason why
and probably kids have a hard time opening
Go-gurt. Make your product easy
to open. Don't just brand it as one of
the types of Go-gurt you can buy.
We're probably going to phase out all the
other Go-gurts and now have
easy open Go-gurt for all the kids and eventually
it'll just be Go-gurt again. That's stupid.
New easy open tubes. It took
them 10 years to make easy open tubes
well technology is slow to change
you're like you're like i don't buy it i don't buy it like i've seen the new iphone i don't buy it
listen i don't want the new iphone is they like
it's like the same as this iphone except well there't want the new iphone is they like change so we're on the same page it's like
the same as this iphone except well there's there's the iphone 8 yeah there's the iphone x
and the x is the one that like requires face scanning technology and shit like i don't want
that in my phone yeah i don't want that they're gonna scan you yeah that's only coming face off
me i don't need that i want my face yeah you're gonna be typing in like uh how many words for boobs are there and it's gonna be like you like boobs huh well
we're gonna tell the government yeah we now have your face boob liker yeah then they'll put your
profile together and be like what's up with this guy be like well he likes different words for
boobs like yeah we know the man likes his hooters tun Tooters, and Physics Shooters. All I'm saying is they need to rename Hooters.
To Physics Shooters?
Come on down to Physics.
That's the smart version of Hooters.
Yeah, Physics Shooters.
They just wear like nerdy outfits and glasses.
I don't know.
It's easy to open Go-Gurt.
Come on.
Look, I understand.
I understand completely.
I think that they should make something that tastes
better inside the actual yogurt okay it's just it's literally yo play yogurt right but it's
garbage yo plays garbage it is garbage yes that's not wrong that's all i got so yesterday no two
days three days ago i don't know when it happened days ago outside my outside my apartment was a little green bag of
Amazon delivery I guess you know like Amazon Fresh I guess it's called yeah clearly someone
had ordered something on Amazon Fresh it was just sitting there I went to go look at the address
and the address was for a floor a few floors down because like you know how hotel
numbers are like 1207 so that means you're on the 12th floor room 7 like that kind of stuff
that's the same thing with my apartment it's like okay well this says three so it means you're on
the third floor or like you know that kind of So this guy, I guess the delivery guy goofed and it was clearly supposed to be for people down below me.
But I guess he looked at the apartment next to mine and my apartment, saw our numbers, looked at the number on this thing and said, oh, well, it must be between the two of them and left it between our two apartments.
Well, here's my question.
What did he think was going to happen?
It's like he thought he was
delivering to Harry Potter. It's insane.
I don't know why and it just sat there.
Instead in my mind I was like okay well
I don't necessarily want to mess with this.
Maybe
staff or someone will find it and we'll be okay.
It has been sitting there for three
days.
You figured someone would have been like,
I don't know where my food is. I gotta go look for it.
Nope. It's been sitting outside
in this hallway for three
days.
I'm afraid to look inside to see what they
ordered because I don't want to be scarred by
some molten mound
of mold. I can't believe
that was alliteration that just came out of my mouth. A molten mound of mold. That can't believe that was alliteration that just came out of mouth.
A mountain of mold.
That's some Hooter Tooters physics
shooters.
So it's just been sitting there. I don't know why.
I don't know why someone wouldn't look at
it by now. You'd think people do,
but I guess they're just, maybe they didn't. I figure
someone would have stolen it already. Like, ooh,
free food. Nobody's been
looking at that mountain of mold. We're all so polite in my apartment complex no one's touching it no here's the thing i bet the
green cheetah was there she'd take it oh she would she would morph it she'd be like
let's see what's inside here. It starts floating.
And then she takes it away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I can see that happening.
I bet.
Whoa.
Oh, shit.
What if it is for the green cheetah?
It could be.
Oh, my God.
And she just doesn't have an apartment there, but she still lives there.
And she keeps trying to get in. She moved out out years ago but she just keeps living here
that can't that can't be possible sir she says she still lives here
on the 13th floor there is no there is no 13th floor
absolutely that's where that story goes she just appears like, The box following behind her.
I love the fact that she still is a thing.
I love it too.
I haven't seen her in so long, but I know she's out there.
I know she's out there somewhere, and I just want her to know I miss her terribly.
Although no one's put go in my car, so...
It had to have been her.
You know, it had to have been the green...
I mean, I feel like we're pinning it on her.
We have no evidence to prove that it was her.
I feel like if anyone was going to stick gum in a car,
it would be the green cheetah.
Yeah, that's a no-doubter.
Yeah, she was that kind of lady.
Never forget.
Hashtag never forget.
Anyway, I think it's probably time to move
on to chopping up something this is krendor krendor how's that traffic out there welcome
to the chap cap scoop up up in the sky with krendor i'm krendor and i'll be your chap cap
today uh looking down at the traffic it uh looks like it's uh it's actually going pretty good
pretty normal traffic everything's cruising right along.
It is getting darker out.
The days are getting shorter, so get ready for those short days, folks.
The long days are gone.
The short days are here.
But you know what?
If you like sleeping, it's going to be some good sleeping weather.
So that's always nice.
I like sleeping.
Back to you.
All right, Crandor.
Thank you.
And now let's go over to the weather desk. to you. Alright, Crandor, thank you, and now let's go over
to the weather desk. How's the weather,
Crandor? Weather desk is here.
Hello. Hello, weather
desk. Hello, weather desk.
Today's weather
desk is brought to you by
WAPI.
WAPI
8-5-8-5-7-5
Ottawa. Ottawa.
Ottawa, Ohio.
82 degrees Fahrenheit.
Feels like 85 degrees Fahrenheit.
Next 36 hours, 62 degrees Fahrenheit.
Tuesday, 90 degrees Fahrenheit.
Tuesday night, 64 degrees Fahrenheit.
10% humidity. Wind south-southeast 2 miles per hour Fahrenheit 10% humidity winds out southeast 2 miles per hour 80% humidity UV index 0 of 10 sun 727 a.m. sundown 728 p.m.
All right, there we go.
And let's go to the sports desk.
Crandor, what's going on the sports?
What up?
Welcome to the sports desk. How you doing, what's going on with the sports? What up? Welcome to the sports desk.
How you doing today?
Sports, they're doing pretty well.
Let me tell you about them.
So right now, football continues to go.
Whole bunch of stuff going on.
Teams are doing good.
Teams are doing bad.
Injuries galore.
As for the standings, I think there's only a couple undefeated teams left, which is kind of crazy.
There's the Kansas City Chiefs 3-0 and the Atlanta Falcons 3-0, and that's it.
And the Falcons almost lost to the Lions,
who couldn't score in the last play of the game.
They were down at the one-yard line in classic Detroit Lions fashion.
Also, hockey, basketball starting up.
They got hockey preseason going on.
Basketball preseason's about to start. All the sports
start kicking into high gear. Baseball
is about to hit the playoffs, so it starts
mattering after
many months.
So that's going to be good. Playoff teams
are looking like Boston,
Yankees, Cleveland,
Houston, and
one other team could be the Minnesota
Twins. It probably will.
And then they'll probably play the Yankees for a wild
card game. Intense wild card game in the
National League. Washington, the
Dodgers, even though the Dodgers have been
pretty shitty lately. Cardinals,
or not the Cardinals, the Diamondbacks
are a wild card team. Cubs are probably going to make
it in, win the division because they
only need one more win. And then it'll probably be the Diamondbacks versus the Rockies for the wild card team cubs are probably going to make it in uh win the division because they only need like one more win and then it'll probably be the diamond backs versus the
rockies for the wild card and then we got playoff action swag town usa is that is that it then
man that's all i got all right grundor yeah before we jump into our big news story of the day yes
i just wanted to tell you about the fact that I received
an email from someone named Jack
who says,
Hey, Jesse,
long time since I sent you
my last crackpot email,
but here's another one.
Whatever you do,
you have to get Crendor
to Glendale, Arizona in 2020.
What?
Ikea announced they're opening
a new store in Arizona
and not just anywhere in Arizona.
Heck, not just anywhere in Glendale, Arizona
They're going to build that sucker right across
From the University of Phoenix Stadium
The location they picked couldn't be closer
To Xanadu for Crendor
Even if they tried
I don't know what any of that means
The shit's a Xanadu
Do you know what's at the University of Phoenix Stadium?
Why is that important to you?
The University of Phoenix Stadium? Why is that important to you? The University of Phoenix Stadium?
In Glendale, Arizona.
Phoenix Stadium.
He gives other reasons why you would love it.
Apparently this is a thing.
Between Northern Avenue and Glendale Avenue, one of the native tribes in Arizona is building a casino.
So I guess there's a casino there now?
North side of Glendale Avenue is Cabela's and a Cracker Barrel.
South side is an AMC movie theater.
North side is the River Arena where the Arizona Coyotes play.
Go Yotes.
Or Yotes.
I don't know.
Coyotes?
Between Maryland and Bethany Avenue is the University of Phoenix,
home of the Arizona Cardinals.
The Ikea will be built
South Bethany home.
There's condos and apartments.
A great place to live
if I was named Crendor.
Also, it's a city full of buffets
and senior citizens
eating breakfast places.
That's the most convincing so far.
I don't know why this is directed towards you
so I don't know
I'd have to leave my house
just try and tell me this isn't evident for Crandor
yeah there's biking and sports and Ikea
and alcohol and shopping
none of those things I know
those combination I don't know that you like any of those together
yeah I mean
here's the thing I go to ikea like once every two weeks
and then i walk around and i'm like hell yeah ikea and i'm done i think arizona right it's hot
as shit it's like 150 degrees every day and they're like oh we'll come to arizona it's like
boiling i'm like i don't want to go there i want to be where it's temperate and i'm i feel like i'm
in a room oh you mean like chicago in the winter well i mean you mean like Chicago in the winter? Well, I mean,
you just put the heat on.
Okay. Alright, but then you're hot
again and now you're in Arizona. Yeah, but
I'm not like, I can't like touch
a door handle in Arizona because your
hand burns off. I get, you know
what? I guess you're right. Also, the map
that was sent to me of where the
Ikea is going to be, the Ikea is right next to
like farmland and then the
stadium is
like, I just feel like there's nothing
there. I'm looking down at the desert
and I don't know that you would ever be happy.
Yeah, you would never be happy here.
This would never happen. Yeah.
Well, I probably wouldn't ever
leave unless there's
like some crazy. Don't say that.
Don't say that because I'm
going to put it out there. Ladies and gentlemen.
Okay, we're moving
last week. Last time
that we do the podcast. I asked you guys to make
me a website to get Nick Cage's attention.
Several of you did on
Squarespace. I
would shout you guys out except for the fact that I'm
afraid one of you is going to change it into a
virus laden website.
And I don't want to do that to anyone.
But there were several Nick Cage websites asking Nick Cage to contact me.
So I'm putting it to you right now.
Create a website on Squarespace, which, as you know, has beautiful award-winning designer templates, 16 new ones, in fact.
16. Each one has a wide range of potential for your products.
You can get your hustle on, and by which I mean hustle to get Crendor to your town, because here's my proposal.
Right. right go to squarespace.com use their all-in-one platform to make a website for crendor pitching
your town to him oh shit easy transfer over to squarespace 24 7 customer support no installations
no patching no upgrades billing is super easy you can even make a few bucks on squarespace if you
want to make an online store.
I'm telling you, it's the place to be.
My website's on there, justcox.com.
And now your website on there, crendor, cometomycity.com backslash, I don't know, Philadelphia.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Create a website.
Send it to Crendor.
Convince Crendor to come to your city.
That's the website we need.
And you know what?
I might make fun of your city.
Yeah.
Next episode, Crandor might look at what you made and make fun of it.
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
So start your free trial today at squarespace.com.
Go to squarespace.com slash Cox and Crandor to get 10% off your first purchase.
By all means, I can't wait to see what you guys make.
Create new pathways in our mind.
Yeah.
Make Crandor see the potential in your city.
But first off, you have to hit him with things he likes.
Yeah.
Right?
Crandor, what are some of your likes?
Go.
All right.
I like sports.
I like food.
I like staying home.
I like electronics and video games.
I like Ikea. I like uh that's about it all right if
you can create a website on squarespace using the power of things quendor likes trust and believe
he will take a look at it and next episode we'll talk about some of the things he saw
if you had to create a website to lure you right and on that
website it was like it was like a travel brochure yeah what's the first thing it should say there's
nothing quite like you there we go there we go that's it there it is to work on that we'll see
you guys next time with that kind of uh we'll follow up with that i don't know what i'm saying we'll follow up with that next time and uh we will get back to it okay so let's move on to the big news story of the day
big news story of the day we got some good ones here dog hoards money so she can pay for treats
herself go on gutsy raccoon gives new meaning to police ride-along.
Okay.
Let's see.
A look inside the newly discovered city built by octopuses.
All right.
All right.
What is happening with nature right now?
We got a dog. We got a dog who's storing money.
A raccoon who's living dangerous with cops.
And an octopus who built a
city yeah we are slowly becoming endangered species right now think about it it's only a
matter of time before this is zootopia maybe that's what the world wants maybe that is what
the world wants you're absolutely right man tries to facebook shame police for bad parking it
hilariously backfires i feel like it's not going to be hilarious. Anytime they say something like that, it's never hilarious.
It never is.
Not once.
There's nothing hilarious about it.
Yeah.
Students Twitter plea for free birthday drinks.
Drinks.
Drinks.
Quickly spirals out of control.
This is the problem.
This is the problem.
Meanwhile, we're all on Twitter and we're shaming cops and pleading for birthday drinks or whatever.
Meanwhile, animals are building cities underwater.
They are hoarding our money.
The real problem.
Oh, my God.
It's all under our noses.
We thought they were pets for so long, but they've just been waiting to take over.
Oh, yeah.
There's that thing with the rapture.
It was on Saturday.
What?
I'm sorry. What? Yeah, you didn't hear that. that thing with the rapture that was on Saturday. What? I'm sorry, what?
Yeah, you didn't hear that?
That thing with the, you know, the rapture happened Saturday.
There's this guy who said the world was going to end Saturday.
Ah, okay, so it didn't.
Gotcha.
Yeah, it didn't end.
That's not news.
That's a crazy person.
Well, let's see.
I'm going to pick three of these stories that we went about.
All right.
There's yet another doomsday date approaching with some
claiming that the rapture will start on saturday it didn't the way he got to this was saying jesus
lived for 33 years the name of elohim which is the name of god to the jews was mentioned 33 times
it is a very biblical biblically significant numerologically significant number. Mead
believes global catastrophes will be
caused by a secret planet called
Nibiru passing the
Earth on Saturday. The world won't
end, but the world as we know
it is ended. Time out. Time
out. Pause. Pause. Time out.
Right. One. Just cause
you say the number 33 appears
or what? It doesn't even matter. It's cause you say you number 33 appears or what it doesn't even matter because
you say you pick 33 out of thin air yeah then you say there's a planet if there was a planet
even remotely close to earth we would see it well that's what nasa said nasa because nasa is smart
this guy's a crazy person nasa and every astronomer said nibiru doesn't exist. Nibiru and other stories about wayward planets are an
internet hoax. The space agency
said on its website a few
years ago and similar doomsday
predictions went viral. There is
no factual basis for these claims.
Even fellow Christians are calling out
Meade. Meade's views are not endorsed
by the Roman Catholic, Protestant, or Eastern Orthodox
branches of Christianity.
That's because he's a crazy person. the writers of the bible of his numbers at times stetzer said there were no
secret numerical codes that require a profession called christian numerology god yep yep and
apparently now he was like i didn't say the world would end i said there'd be like earthquakes and hurricanes
like yeah well that happens anyway yeah i love that idea of like man it's not about the earth
ending it's about a new beginning and this is the beginning of the beginning and things are
changing around us man like the next 20 years a lot of stuff's gonna happen you're gonna look back and be like he was right man
stuff did change yep sure all right wacko i was watching that old george carlin comedy thing from
like the 90s or 80s whenever it was and he was like uh talking about saving the planet and he's
like really when they say save the planet they mean save humans and save me and my family planet
planet will be here long
after we're gone it's like the planets went through meteors ice ages plate tectonic shifting
like the sun spots it's like and we're like some plastic bags are gonna destroy it and he's like
maybe the earth likes plastic maybe the earth gave humanity so that they could get it plastic
and now their purpose is over.
Yeah.
Plastic trees.
Who knows?
Who knows what will happen?
Yeah.
They mean we need to save ourselves.
Yeah.
So speaking of which, students Twitter plea for free birthday drinks quickly spirals out of control.
Oh, boy.
Here we go.
A student in northern England appealed to strangers over Twitter to send free birthday drinks his way on Wednesday afternoon.
They duly obliged, but not in the way the pair is hoping for.
Let's see.
Instead of buying booze for Rory MacArthur and Nick Mathieman, who just turned 20 and 19,
internet wags reportedly began sending non-alcoholic beverages to their
table.
They use the chains app to order glasses of milk,
bottles of alcohol,
free beer,
fruit juice,
ice cream,
crispy onions,
a plate of peas,
and a pot of blue cheese sauce.
And Rory tweeted, what cheeky effort sent them sent him a non-alcoholic Bex
and then the milk came and he said you really think you're funny don't you
well that's why you kept responding to them and they were like I do think I'm funny this is not
what we had in mind you sadistic wankers and there's the ice cream then there's the other that's not bad also they got a bowl of peas and
they got cheese sauce put that cheese sauce on those peas and eat that shit yeah delicious it
looks like they were eating it so let's see someone ordered them a pint of beer, a bottle of Prosecco, and a Jager bomb.
Yeah, that's not so bad.
Yeah, it's not too bad.
Considering, I think for the goof, it turned out pretty okay.
Yeah, that turned out pretty all right.
I would love to go to a bar and be like, yo, hey, order me drinks via the app.
Yeah.
And just see what came.
See what showed up at the bar.
That'd be great.
That'd be a funny goof
i'd stream that you know what they would need is they'd like they need a thing of like here
someone offered to buy this for you do you accept or deny it yeah that's what i did not otherwise
like here's your 100 pizzas oh man here's the thing though If someone sent me 100 pizzas I would be living like a king
I would go around to all my friends
And be like
I have 100 pizzas
I'd make a throne out of pizzas
I'd make
I'd stick it all in my freezer
And in my fridge
And I'd just eat pizza for like a month
I'd be so happy.
That's not a punishment.
That's great.
They just spent all their money
to make me so happy.
Well, you got a point.
I'd be like pizza for everyone.
I'd go to all the homeless dudes
down the road and be like,
hey, bro, have a pizza.
Your pizza kingdom would be conquered
by the octopus city.
God damn it, that octopus.
I'm still thinking about it.
The octopus is like, yes, we've bided our time,
and now soon our city will rise from the oceans.
So apparently, the idea of underwater cities that are undiscovered
hasn't been as far-fetched as you might think.
Turns out they're just built by octopuses.
Earlier this month, scientists published a paper describing a site
in Australia's Jervis Bay near Sydney where 10 to 15 gloomy octopuses live at high density and exhibit
complex social interactions towards one another. Species also known as octopus tetrarchus communicate,
fight, and even evict one another from their dens in a settlement formed around exposed rock patches.
one another from their dens in a settlement formed around exposed rock
patches. In other
words, it's basically an octopus city
which biologists are calling
Oclantis.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
A study collaboration between multiple scientists from
Australia and the United States was published on September
1st in the journal Marine Freshwater
Behavior Physiology.
Thursday, Business Insider published a video that reveals exactly what life in the Octo City looks like. first the journal marine freshwater behavior physiology thursday business insider published
a video that reveals exactly what life in the octo city looks like the j wait the discovery
footage of this do we have footage of the octo city oh yeah hold on can i link this here we go
octo city i'm just gonna look up octo city octopus city blues is a thing octo city is
look inside the newest oh huffing post octopus octopus city oh that's not a link to a video
that's text hold on i'm checking it out
right now oh god there's a
video study a collaboration
between multiple scientists australia yeah i'm looking
at it it's not really a city
well they're octopuses
but like
it's more like i thought
it was gonna look cool it's more like
a mound of dirt with a bunch of octopus around it's a like i like i thought it was gonna look cool it's more like a mound of dirt with
a bunch of octopus around it's a city to them how you're right how dare we judge what they
interpret a city to be how dare i yeah like the fish probably swim by they're like shit
it's just a crappy bunch of like coral with dead shellfish around it that shit's gonna build up
over time before you know it they're gonna have like octa brothels they're gonna have octa brothels
octa casinos octropolis you're absolutely right absolutely right all right well i think that is
it for us thank you so much for listening please be sure to leave a like and a comment on itunes
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leave a comment and a like there as well thank you as always
to be continued Thank you.