Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 146 - The One, Part 2
Episode Date: January 10, 2018Cox n' Crendor return, and Crendor has finally watched the show Jesse can't stop raving about. What did he think? Has TV finally reached it's pinnacle?! Also a giant statue outside an Ikea in Los Ange...les confuses both of the boys, mostly cause it looks like a wiener. Todays episode is sponsored by Meundies! For 20% off your order go to Meundies.com/Crendor
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Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies, the best underwear I have ever put in my body.
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I've never tried to put MeUndies in my body, even though I bet they'd be comfortable.
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Ah, they're so good.
Well, we'll talk about them later in the show for sure.
Let's jump into it.
Woo.
Hello, everybody.
It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Hello everybody, welcome back to Cox and Crandall in the morning.
Hello.
Did you do your homework?
I did so much homework.
I practically wrote like a 40 page essay.
Oh boy.
Okay, I'm ready. For those of you who did not listen to the last episode, I mentioned that several episodes ago, Crandall and I had watched a show called Are You The One?
And then,
uh,
I said last time I watched everything,
but the final episode since then, I've not only seen the final episode,
I haven't seen the reunion show.
I need to see that.
Yeah.
I haven't seen the final episode,
but I,
I,
at that point I hadn't.
Now I've seen not only the final episode,
I've seen the entire show,
the entire season twice.
I was out of town and told it told the show to a bunch of people and they were just like okay we should watch this and I sat there and watched an entire season with them over the
course of a day and a half and it was just as funny the same time around what an amazing show
yeah so I never thought the show would be this crazy i
thought it was gonna be crazy i thought it was gonna be just like a typical mtv show but it got
crazier yeah again just to set up the premise people who don't know it's a show where 22 people
are put in a house and each one of them has been matched scientifically whatever that means with
someone else in the house and if all 11 couples end up together they win a million
dollars and of course because they're beautiful idiots it's all about banging and going crazy
and really like they're yeah they ignore the game it's amazing i assume there's gonna be
spoils coming up here so yes watch your butt if you don't want spoils all right hit me hit me with
your notes okay because i explained how much i loved it last time so tell me about your impressions
of this show first off first observation is what we just talked about which is the scientific
matchmaking all right can we can we just state that every time they go to be scientifically matched, a weird laser light show happens?
It's like boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Yeah, it's like some sort of futuristic green laser detects whether you're a match or not.
You know, it obviously doesn't do anything.
But I'm curious as to how the matchmakers paired these people together.
Like, did they have them take a quiz?
I think that's what they say. Like an OKCupid quiz? I think that's what they say, and they have them take a quiz? Like an okay-keep-it quiz?
I think that's what they say, and they say
be honest. Here's the thing. Really, at the
end of it, having seen it twice now, I'm
convinced that
all they did was say, what are you interested
in, and then match them with someone that was the opposite.
Yeah.
Because everyone, in almost every
case, was like, yeah, I go for
guys who treat me like shit.
I know it's terrible.
Yeah.
So they just match them with the nice guy.
Yeah.
Or it's like, I like to chase guys.
I'm always like the second best.
So I like to chase guys.
And so the one guy that talks to them, they're like, that's your match.
Yeah.
Or the guys are like, I like a feisty woman.
And they pick like the nice girl.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure it's what it is too
all right it's just like a shit show but i think they want that first off all these people get
thrown in this house right and then this guy comes out and he's like yo you're gonna go to
the truth boot but he never says it right i don't think i heard him say truth booth with proper
pronunciation the entire time.
He's always like truth booth.
No, it's the truth booth.
Truth booth.
The truth booth.
First off, can I blow your mind right now?
Terrence, that guy, Terrence J.
Not the host of the other five seasons.
I know.
The other five seasons are hosted by, like, I think the guy who does the voiceover for Jackbox Party Pack.
It sounds just like him.
Yeah, because we tried to watch the season five and
then it was like who's this guy and then it just wasn't the same season we tried to watch season
three not season three is a hot mess there's i'll give you this season three has one guy
who from moment one you know is going to be the villain because he starts off by being like yeah
i like to yoga it's easy and he goes out by being like, yeah, I like to yoga. It's easy.
And he goes out and like does yoga with these two girls.
And he tries to bang both the girls.
And then the entire time moves from woman to woman,
to woman treating them terribly.
And then when he gets called out,
he's like,
yeah,
I like to do my dick and things.
It's incredible.
It's incredible.
The rest of the season is pretty hot garbage,
but that guy watching him,
you're like,
how are you a real person?
You can't be real.
Oh yeah.
Okay.
So yeah,
so you got to go to the truth booth and that's where you determine if you're
a match or not.
So all these people are like,
Oh,
we're definitely a match.
And then they go to the truth booth and then you have to pick between three couples on who's gonna get the the be in the truth booth you're like oh these are the
three people that are like you know they gotta be the one and then they go in and it's like nope so
if they're like really into each other and they're like we're definitely a match we've been dating a
month now and they go in and it's like no and then they gotta go date someone else but they don't
want to and then that's when the craziness starts.
About three episodes in is when it really starts to get insane.
Because at this point, many couples are told you are not a match, but they can't leave each other.
Yeah.
It's like, one of them's always just like, but when this is all done, we're going to be together still, right?
And the other one's like, yeah, sure, sure, we will.
I'm going to go get laid now.
Yeah. and the other one's like yeah sure sure we will i'm gonna go get laid now yeah it was like the uh the one latina girl she was with that guy and they got like rejected on the second episode
and then they kept banging but she was like trying to date other guys like ethan the rap guy
mean like mind you ethan the rap guy is one of my favorite people.
Every scene he's in, he looks ridiculous.
He does.
Just ridiculous.
I realized who he is.
He is Michael Scott from The Office.
It was like everything he said was like a Michael Scott quote.
And everything that happened was like watching The Office.
I think that's why I loved him so much.
So there was...
Okay, I'm going to run through the cast
because I don't actually remember their names from my notes.
You tell me, a cast member, I will be like...
I'll give you the lowdown on my thoughts on every single one.
Like, for example, I said Rap Guy is Michael Scott in my notes.
Yes, Ethan.
Yeah, Ethan.
Or E-Money, as he's known.
He wears the same hat backwards, and on multiple occasions, when they come back from a loss,
will throw the hat down and then immediately pick it back up and put it on his head.
Yeah, he did that so many times.
He just throws his hat down.
Nobody even cared.
Like, everyone just pretended like that didn't happen, just wanted to ignore him.
Yep.
All right, so the guys. Just don't ignore him. Yep. All right.
So the guys, there's Anthony.
Okay.
He's like the, he's kind of, he's like normal.
He's just like.
Anthony looks like what you would consider like a normal New York attractive dude.
Yeah.
Except he gets like caught up with the girl that is way too into him.
And so becomes an asshole in order to shoot her down so
he's like yeah i'm moving on okay i don't want any i don't we're done we're done and then when
she's like anthony i love you he's like shut up i hate you it's insane he's like i'm trying to win
money jeez oh yeah she's uh that's jealous yes jealous whose parents i assume we're trying to
spell jealous yeah she is She is. I don't
know. Like, at first, you're like, alright, she's
just like a, you know, she's whatever.
Then she's like, I've cheated on every
boyfriend I've had. And you're like, oh, no.
The worst part is that Anthony's like,
yeah, girl, that's cool. Oh, you ain't gonna
cheat on me. And it's like, no, Anthony!
Don't do that! Run! Run away!
You don't want any part of this girl!
Don't be like, I can change her.
No.
Run, Anthony.
Yeah, so who'd have thought they weren't a match in the truth boot?
And then there's Clinton, who every girl is like, oh my God, it's Clinton.
My favorite part in the way they set it up is so good.
At the beginning of the first episode, they were doing like a bootleginder thing where they'd show you a picture of something the guy was into and then the girls
would have to raise their hand if they were into that too and of course one of the things is a
wrist with three jesus bracelets on it and all the girls are like ew no and then it's revealed to be
clinton who is a model basically a gorgeous like the sexiest black man who ever lived.
Oh, yeah.
He is just gorgeous.
All the girls just sploosh their pants.
And they seem to like, what?
Oh, my God.
It's insane.
It's insane.
And then, of course, the rest of the time, everyone wants to get with him.
But turns out he's like a legit good guy.
Yeah.
He's like the most mentally stable one there.
Yeah.
He straight up, uh, finds this girl that he's into and they're together most of the time.
And he like, they say that they, that they're not gonna like have sex in the house unless
they're confirmed as like a match.
And then when they don't work out, like he, he's very cool the entire time.
Yeah.
Uche is with Uche.
By the way, Uche, I get the reaction to her not being a match with Clinton.
Yeah.
Even though them not being a match blew my mind.
When that happened, I was like, what?
There is no love.
But when they were no longer a match, her jealousy, I was like, oh, this could be why they weren't a match.
Like, oof.
It was a little much.
But one of the things that's crazy, when they had the exes come on the show, did you catch the name of Uche's ex?
Wait, was he?
All I remember was he looked like a 40-year-old music producer.
Uche's ex's name was something like day day or hee haw
or it was exactly as insane as her name yeah and i was like does she find this guy was like you
understand me because their names are crazy i was also confused because okay with uche right she
seems like she's just normal girl she's like i'm just looking for the right man whatever and then she yeah they bring on like dd the the rap artist and he's like yeah like after two weeks
we bang and then they talk to her mom when they bring the parents like on the skype or whatever
and her mom had a quote where she was like yeah i know she's a virgin because i'm a doctor the the impression i got off uche after a
while was that she sort of like becomes who people need her to be yeah like that's the vibe i got
that she's like a chameleon because when she was with the like christian dude she was very very
nice and sweet the minute they broke up she became like kind of like jealous and crazy. Yeah, and then yeah, I don't know
I it was it was bizarre
But like every time you talk to someone like a different like an ex or like her like a different person
She was always a different human being it was weird. It was like okay
Yeah, that was weird
I think it didn't come out as much because she was with him for like half the season right right right
But I bet if she wasn't we would have seen some crazy shit. Yeah
season right right right but i bet if she wasn't we would have seen some crazy shit yeah oh no doubt and there's david which one's david he's one of the um oh it's shad david shed shad was my favorite
shad spends nine of the 11 episodes looking like a serial killer having watched the show the things
he says are just like i want to be inside of you like crazy stuff yeah but if you go back and watch
the show again most of the scenes where someone else is fighting or whatever if you look at the
background shad is just standing there he's just he has inserted himself into the background of
every scene it's just standing there looking like a crazy killer.
And then I assume because the editors or however they're doing the show had to make him not look crazy at the end in order to get with the girl he got with.
Suddenly he becomes like a very nice man.
Yeah.
And they have to make a bunch of scenes of this girl, Audrey or whatever her name is, going like, you know what?
He used to be like a robot.
I thought he was like a robot, but he's actually very sweet, and I like him like that kind of yeah
And it's like I find it hard to believe that he was that way the entire time unless he really is crazy
And she is just settled either. He's crazy or they edited stuff or like
He wasn't as crazy, and they just left out a lot of that stuff like it had to be something
because there's nobody who flips a switch like that he definitely came off as like a creep
like kind of a guy he was way into himself more than anything else but boy did they the way they
edited him everything he said made him seem like he was literally going to kill people and throw
them in the swamp yeah he'd be like main you're hot because your body looks like an oven.
And she'd be like, what are you talking about?
And he's like, I'm talking about my dick
because it's like that tree over there.
And she's like, what?
Like, Chad's a little weird.
I just don't really know.
Yeah, that was Chad.
Chad was great.
Then there's Dimitri.
Was Dimitri the dude who consistently acted like he was 17?
Yes, that was the guy.
Yeah, Dimitri was that dude who, every time he was on screen, he wasn't on screen a lot.
But the one time he went on date with the girl who ended up with Tyler, or Keith, or whoever it was at the end.
Yeah.
The actual couple that matched.
Yeah.
That girl, when she was going on dates with Dimitri, Dimitri, every time he was in that
little booth, he'd be like, I like her because she got some fine boobies.
Yeah.
You're like, what?
And then later on, he hooks up with Jada and then Jada takes him outside to find out what
his intentions are.
And he's like, I made a mistake with you.
Like, yeah, he is similar. to find out what his intentions are and he's like I made a mistake with you. Yeah.
They were too similar.
She was like they both acted like they were 15. Yes.
100%. Dimitri was like
a man child.
I don't know what kind of
woman is into that but God bless
any woman who finds that attractive.
He was the worst.
Oh yeah I forgot Shad was with Audrey, right?
And then Audrey,
she was like the wholesome girl.
Audrey, I was in love with Audrey.
Yeah.
Audrey, I dig the hell out of,
although she's a snoop.
Yeah.
Audrey, I can admit
that even though I was in love
with this person, I don't know.
She had some problems.
Yeah.
No,
she was constantly involved herself in everything.
Even if she was,
there's one part where towards the end,
Clinton was with Jaless during one of the light ceremonies and Uche was
getting mad.
And Audrey just was like,
aren't you going to say anything?
Aren't you gonna do anything?
And I was like,
oh girl,
stay out of this. Like, what are you doing? She's like the type of girl was like, aren't you going to say anything? Aren't you going to do anything? And I was like, oh, girl, stay out of this.
Like, what are you doing?
She's like the type of girl where, like, she wants to find love.
She's just a very wholesome person in that aspect.
And then she has, like, live, laugh, love things all over your house.
Here's the crazy thing.
She ended up with Shad, who I guarantee also has live, laugh, love in his house, but written in blood.
Yeah.
Oh, no doubt.
I mean, that's probably somewhat of a match.
You know, definitely.
You just put it in blood on little blocks and then it's kind of like it's kind of similar.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
But she's also the person who would like come home and be like this conniving bitch at work.
Yes.
Oh, yes. Absolutely. We're going to get back at her. Like, oh, no. she's also the person who would like come home and be like this conniving bitch at work yes oh yes
absolutely we're gonna get back at her like oh no but shad would probably be like yeah let's get
back at her let's lure into an alleyway i'll take the first stab you take a second and then i get
the rest oh no shed so yeah that's them then there's uh wait which one is oh then there's ethan which we already
talked about ethan e money e money just imagine michael scott that's all he is he's just michael
scott on a show then there's joe joe is great he just grows weed yeah joe was joe was fantastic
yeah and and it was so obvious to me seeing Uche and Joe together.
I was like, oh, they're perfect for each other.
Mm hmm.
Yeah, it was pretty great.
Then there's Kareem, who I hated.
Oh, Kareem.
Yeah.
What an asshole.
Yeah.
Kareem.
That's the guy who would always fight people.
Yeah.
He had like the biggest temper and it was just like nobody wants to be with this guy
because he's just he could be like, dude, I don't like your hair.
And he'd be like, whoa, like throw his chair back.
Like what the fuck, bro?
But you knew he was, you knew he was kind of like a coward.
I know you're listening to this dude.
You're a coward.
He would always kiss a different girl.
And then rather than own up to the fact that he's like messing around on this other girl,
he would pick a fight with someone completely unrelated.
Keith would just be like, dude, calm down.
He's like, I'll kill you.
I will kill you.
You guys aren't even trying to get any.
I'm out there.
I got to do the work for all you guys.
He's like, what is this guy's problem?
Yeah.
And then he would go.
And I can't remember the girl who was with him most of the time
but you go back to her and yes olivia he'd say crazy shit there was one scene that blew my mind
because the perfect little microcosm of like abusive relationships where he went out cheated
on this girl she's like i'm done with you he goes back to her and he's like yo everyone here
is gonna think you're stupid for getting back with me but i know you're not stupid you don't
think you're stupid do you you're not stupid you're gonna you know we belong together we
belong together i know you're not stupid because i love you you love me right and he's like holding
her cheeks like in her face oh yeah and she and she's like he's right i'm not stupid i love him and it's
what what just happened yeah that was like prime manipulation oh he even says it he's like they're
all trying to manipulate you you think you he's like talking about how everyone else is manipulating
her in the house yet he's manipulating her on camera right it's insane it's insane this show is so good it's so good yeah like you think
at first they make it seem like all right like he's just kind of a italian guy he's like hey
i'm kareem i'm doing my thing and then there's the one scene that changes it where he's like
he flips out and he like flips a table over and then the one dude with giant ass hair is like yo man like what's
your problem like you kissed another girl and then he's like i'll tell you what my problem is
you's a bitch oh that's tyler i keep getting keith and tyler mixed up but that's tyler yeah yeah
tyler's like tyler's awesome he's my favorite guy on the show because every time something
crazy goes on tyler's like i want to burn this fucking house down he's so fed up with it it's so good but like yeah tyler would be like calm
down he'd be like i'll kill you i will i will kill you and they have to get security and stuff
meanwhile olivia's like i'll give him another chance it's like no let me run and then that
other girl's like you got a fiery temper and i i fucks with you no no run away from him he will physically abuse you is that uh which is that
deandra yes yeah deandra who went with got caught up in a love triangle on episode one yeah with
malcolm who is oh my god player the ultimate player reformed player please he's always
like yo i'm not a player anymore meanwhile he's just banging like three women at a time the whole
premise of this show is like it's this season is the perfect it's so perfect to describe like
it's a microcosm for life there are three or four very very good looking men that every women
and woman in the house wants to get with yeah one of those men is taken so then you have three or
four women who don't want to get with anyone else because they're hoping that couple will break up
yeah and so they're just waiting in the wings then you have all these other guys two or three
of them are trying very very hard hard to at least find someone.
There's about four guys who are like,
alright, so we're not getting laid. Let's try and win this game.
It's perfect because
you see how
this all works and it's like, this is
reality in a house.
It's crazy
to me. And only after
enough time of being beaten down by
shitheads eventually the
women in the house are like maybe we shouldn't date those guys yeah it's crazy to watch it's
so bizarre yeah they like stop just going for physical appearance because it's like that's
obviously what they've been doing up to this point they even say one girl is even like, oh, God, what was her that? Not Michaela.
What is the Asian girl's name?
Kiana.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Episode one.
Kiana falls for basically like.
What's his name?
Michael.
Michael.
Michael.
OK, let me tell you something about Michael.
I wrote down.
Michael is like a horse.
He reminds me of a horse.
He's just he's like horse shoulders it's
like he can't move his arms he's got like powerful like little legs i was like if i had to bet in a
horse race i would bet on michael like if they're like yo today's challenge is he gonna be pretending
to be horses and i'd be like put five dollars on michael he yeah he is super buff unnecessarily $5 on Michael.
He, yeah, he is super buff, unnecessarily buff, and everyone keeps calling him Channing Tatum.
And minute one in the house, this girl Kiana is all up on him.
And they bang either night one or night two, and then she is just all over him, will not leave him alone. And of course, because he like hit it. He immediately is just like, yeah, I don't think I don't think we're a perfect match.
And she's like, but I know we are.
I love you.
We were like, I want to have your babies like crazy stuff.
And then she's supposed to be with Ethan.
And Ethan's like, oh, man, this is just come on.
Yeah.
She goes out.
Ethan goes on a date with her and she spends the entire time talking about Michael.
And he's like, this is my life, man.
This is my life.
It's so funny.
And so she, yeah, he immediately breaks her heart.
And then she spends the rest of the time not chasing anyone.
Yeah, she just sits there.
She gets involved in other people's dramas, but like, it's so heartbroken.
This guy she just met who she's convinced but like it's so heartbroken this guy she
just met who she's convinced is like her love will not get with her yeah and he of course goes around
and like it's involved in many other relationships with many other women again it all comes down to
at the end they think maybe just maybe the two of them could have been a real couple so we need to
get them in the booth so when they when they do their
final question challenge kiana is the is the woman the ladies choose yeah and dimitri is the guy why
the guys chose dimitri i don't know it's so dumb but kiana i'm like okay they're gonna try and get
michael with kiana yeah what are the questions they ask kiana kiana would you rather have someone
smart and ugly or dumb and sexy yeah and i was
like oh she's gonna pick dumb and sexy there's no doubt of course she picked dumb and sexy but
michael's like smart and ugly he's so dumb that he couldn't even realize that he's dumb he's the
one she wants and then when he finds out he literally does a double take to the camera
and they do like a break of him being like yeah I see how
it is it's so funny
she's just like oh my god
I can't she starts she starts crying
yeah she starts crying she's like I let everyone
down it's like no you don't let
everyone down all the girls are like yeah that was Michael
he's an idiot and Michael's just like
what
it was so funny and there was a scene where like
michael gets with uh what's her name we were talking about audrey and they're going out for
a while and then she's like i always go for this type of guy the guy that just like plays me and
then it's like yo i'm sorry babe and then she's like okay and then the exact thing happened she's
like i saw you making out with jules or something and then he's like yo yo just calm down all right you want to go bang and
she's like i guess so and then they go bang and they immediately and then make up yes they're
in the span of moments he goes from making out with this other girl to like grinding on other
girls to saying things like damn i'd hit that hit that, right? Yeah. In front of her, then ends up going to the beach with her where she's crying.
She's like, I hate you.
No, Michael, I never want to be with you.
And convincing her, this is moments, like maybe seconds.
He's like, baby, I love you.
And she's like, okay.
And they just go in the bathroom and bang.
And you're like, what?
It's insane.
Crendor, I'm going to let you know right now.
I don't know if you ever felt this way. Sometimes I think I'm gonna let you know right now I don't know if you ever felt this way sometimes I think I'm not sexy I've never had a woman ever be like you know what I hate you with a passion but um yeah okay
let's go in the bathroom and bang that's never happened to me I feel like we don't I feel like
there's nobody like I feel like the only person that could have been is like Sam I feel like Sam's
had some moments like that in his life I just I just can't yeah i don't think we know anyone that is
that is michael hot that is it doesn't matter what his personality is everyone's just trying
to get the d i've never yeah i don't know that person yeah that's so insane watching it happen
you're just like like watching clinton when they do dates where like Clinton goes out with different women mm-hmm you realize oh
That's what it's supposed to look like woman a woman a woman really wants to have sex
Physical performance Oh, that's what that face is. That is peak physical performance.
Yep, yep.
That's what I just picture when it's like going out to like clubs where people just go out to clubs.
Like that's got to be. And then it's just like a weird like hierarchy of like animals and like lions or something.
It's like, oh, that's what being super sexy must feel like.
That Clinton guy, every time he
gets around a woman, they giggle and smile
and like oogle-eye him. And you're just
like, holy shit.
I wonder what that must be like.
Because you can never have
a conversation with anyone because everyone
you're talking to is like,
Yeah.
Not that he cares because he's like, I a model i remember one time i don't know which
person said it but someone was like why don't people ever just want to talk to me every time
i open up my instagram i have like 150 dms and all of them trying to get laid and i'm like yeah
dude your life must be the worst you must have the worst life ever it was yeah that was just
I was like huh
Michael Kiana are
maybe my favorite insane
no I stand corrected
I forgot about the Kray Hunter
the Kray Hunter
wait which one's the Kray Hunter
alright so
go back and watch the show underneath Keith's name.
Oh my God.
You're right.
Keith's subtitle during the season, apparently in the previous seasons, they didn't have
this, but in this season they gave everyone like a nickname.
Yeah.
And Keith's nickname was Cray Hunter.
And so every, every this past weekend, when we watch it again, every time we watched it, we were like, the Kray hunter's on the prowl.
He's hunting Kray.
And then as he like starts to go insane while dating Alexis, we're like, to catch the Kray, you must become the Kray. the cray.
Now that I think about it,
he,
uh,
I think he did.
They're also like loves crazy women.
They just like kept like referring back.
Like he's just,
he's loves his cray.
No.
And he kept saying that he was like,
Oh,
I keep falling for crazy girls.
Cut to Alexis. Who's like prime crazy. Blinking at, blinking falling for crazy girls. Cut to Alexis, who's like...
Prime crazy.
Blinking at the camera, like, trying to do cartoon blinky eyes.
Yeah.
And talking about, like, this is my only female friend, and it's like a stuffed animal.
And, oh, oh, yeah, like...
Like, I remember when we first turned this show on, and we were like, what is this on MTV?
We saw her, and we were like, oh, she's crazy.
She was like, aside from all the other other girls She was kind of the loner and then she's just staying there in cowboy standing like she was a cheerleader
And yes, he couldn't figure out why yeah, and then she just started talking and we're like oh, that's why there it is
She is just like yeah
I just like why and then she made out with every guy in the house and some girls and the crazy thing is
She's at the end of the day, when you watch the whole series,
you're like, she is clinical textbook crazy.
Yeah.
Like every check Mark, when she talks with Keith and when they fight and you see the
back and forth between them, she will say stuff like, you know, I act this way because
I love him, but I don't want him to know I love him.
But like, that's, that's what girls do.
Right.
And then she would say things like,
I hurt him first because I don't want to be hurt.
And then she would talk about how she doesn't understand love.
Cause she never felt love you.
Just things that are like,
Oh no,
this is,
she is,
this camera is her shrink right now.
And we're just checking off the list of like,
what's wrong with this girl.
She's like,
she's mentally a 13 year old. absolutely she clearly hasn't developed but she just
associates banging with love but she doesn't want to get hurt herself so she like constantly cheats
on dudes yeah but then still has this perception that she will find the one it's it's crazy
i remember there was uh keith and her get together and they're like, all right, we're pretty good.
And then she has to go on a date with Joe.
And then he talks to Zoe.
He was like this one blonde girl.
And then she's like, oh, yeah, well, he's going to go Zoe.
I'm going to get with Joe.
And they like flip a table over to make out on a balcony.
They're just like throwing food at each other.
And then he's like, yo, I'd make out with you. And she like flips the table over and they out on a balcony they're just like throwing food at each other and then he's
like yo i'd make out with you and then she like flips the table over and they start making out
and then she goes back to the house and she's like well you kiss zoe so i made out with joe
yeah and he's like and here's the problem though then keith gets really upset yeah like he knew
what he was in for yeah why he gets so upset is beyond me.
Mm-hmm.
Like, he purposefully went to go make out with Zoe.
What is his problem?
Keith is just much of a mess. The Kray Hunter does become the Kray as this show goes on.
By the end of it, he's burning her dolls and ripping her shoes apart.
Like, it is Apocalypse Now levels of, like, into the jungle to find this guy who's gone crazy because Keith loses himself somewhere in this show.
Yeah, it's insane.
It's insane to watch.
Meanwhile, there are.
Yeah, there's girls like Zoe, who's just like normal blonde girl.
She's just like, hey, I'm here.
Zoe and I'm trying to think of a few of the other girls are so like Nicole inconsequential to the show.
They don't do anything.
They're just like, I'm a blonde white girl and I'm here.
The only time you hear them is when they've lost their voice because they've been partying to her.
Like there's Zoe and Nicole.
Nicole's the other one.
And she gets with Tyler, who was just like, yo, this shit sucks.
And then she's like, like hey he's pretty cool and then they like i guess editing
wise if you look at it a second time they sit together during the lighting ceremonies a lot
and i feel like what happens is at the beginning they like straight up friend zoned and then
eventually he was like i think we're good together and she like lets him kiss her yeah they're like
okay yeah i know you're a couple i don't i don't know that i want
to see the the reunion because i don't know what the status of them is because it was such a weird
thing to watch it was they obviously enjoyed each other's company and they like being around each
other but like they never seem to be i guess because everyone else was so overtly sexual
yeah they just seemed off and it was strange and And I was like, are they friends now or what happened? I'm curious.
And then there was Malcolm who we talked about, but he gets with the two girls.
One's nervous.
Who's like, I'm going to get with him.
And then she does.
She does.
After he sleeps with Deandra, who's like, I haven't had a boyfriend in three years and now I got one.
And then he's like sleeping with another girl like two seconds later and then it was oh my god like there was a moment later on where deandra and narice sit down
together and have a conversation after they realized that malcolm's been just cheating on
both of them and they realized at one point narice got back with malcolm they had sex in the downstairs living room then Malcolm went upstairs
and immediately had sex
with the other girl.
And they realized like wait
so he was in there with you and then he came upstairs with me
and it's like I
would feel so gross in that moment.
Like that's
nasty. That is
nasty. Malcolm is
nasty. Oh yeah. yeah oh yeah I wrote down
Malcolm with one girl is like Anakin with Emperor and here's why oh lord go on I want to hear this
Audrey gets with him and like her first date they have and then he's like yo I'm like a recovering
player and then she's like well you just lied to me and he's like oh yeah I did and then he's like, yo, I'm like a recovering player. And then she's like, well, you just lied to me. And he's like, oh, yeah, I did. And then she's like the Jedi, right?
She's like, he's trying to do his Sith Dark Lord tricks.
And it's not going to work on me.
And she splits up.
Then there's like Narisse and D'Andra.
And then D'Andra gets played.
And she's like, ah, shit.
And then Narisse is like, yo, like, I get to be with you.
And he's just like yes yes you're
you're with me now join the dark side like that's what it just reminded me of
you know it sounds exactly like star wars that's absolutely right yeah yeah and then eventually
they have the weirdest breakup because they actually think they're a match and he's like
not being a player anymore he's like yeah i think player anymore. He's like, yeah, I think I'm like, I found myself.
And then she ends up letting,
they're playing truth or dare.
And she lets like someone lick whipped cream off her nipple.
That does happen.
And Malcolm goes crazy.
Yeah.
Like Malcolm goes crazy twice for both those girls,
the two girls he's playing.
One time he goes crazy because she gets whipped cream licked off her nipple the other time whatever that girl's
name I can't remember her damn name
whatever that girl's name is
Deandra yeah she goes upstairs to
play beer pong
on the balcony of the boom boom room
which is where everyone goes to have sex
where everyone goes to have sex in the boom boom room
dude by the way I would just
always go to the boom boom room because there's a nice bed in there.
There's a great bed in there.
I'd just go there to sleep.
Like, yo, anybody just want to go to sleep?
When people knock on the door, I'd be like, busy.
Yeah.
But they're out on the balcony, and they're just playing beer pong.
And then, of course, Juleska, she wants to be with Anthony or whoever was out there.
And of course, Jaless, because she wants to be with Anthony or whoever was out there.
She goes around telling everyone that Anthony and DeAndre are up there hooking up in the boom boom room.
Of course, nothing's happening.
And so Michael goes, not Michael, what the hell is this damn Malcolm?
Yeah.
Goes crazy.
Yeah.
And he's like, you just dick ride a girl.
He's like shitting on her for having sex with dudes when that's literally all you do malcolm yeah i know is have sex with women that you have done you've brought nothing to this house except despair that's like incredible to me you can start to
see the insecurities they have deep down show like him and kareem even where kareem like knows he's
doing something wrong but he just projects it outward. Like use a bitch. It's like, all right. Okay.
Instead of acknowledging what he's doing.
And then towards the end, Kareem has a moment outside with, I think two other guys where he starts talking about how like he understands what's wrong with him.
But it wasn't until he really fell hard for a girl that like
the jealousy came out and he's never felt that way before like it's not him and like he's never
really found love but he found love in this house and now he's heartbroken it's like dude
i feel like you're lying to yourself right now oh my god then there was what is it there's the what's his name religious guy uh
clinton are you tabulating
clinton yeah there's clinton he likes justin bieber and it prevents him and uche from going
on a date the one time i forgot about that yeah they're. They're just like, would you rather go to a Taylor Swift
or Justin Bieber concert or something?
Then she's like,
oh, Taylor Swift.
And he's like,
Justin Bieber.
I was like,
what?
I guess he likes Justin Bieber a lot.
Who knows?
Oh my God.
I remembered,
I hate the dumb obstacle courses
on all these reality shows.
Every reality show
has these dumb obstacle courses
or games.
And I always just,
I hate them so
much can we talk about the transitions between all of these scenes so like whenever they go to
the obstacle course they run out it's slow-mo running and he doesn't always go back with the
dumbest smile on his face they do transitions between scenes where it'll be something inside
the house versus something outside the house and they'll do crazy aerial views that pan into like
a kid jumping into a pool under the water and then there's like dudes drinking beer underwater
it's crazy and the amount of setup for each change between scenes is wild everything again
this show is on another level this may be the best show ever made by humankind yeah it is amazing and that is some
of the game shows they do are just like yo you got to pull out these things so the balls don't fall
and it's like all right and then another one was uh you have to hit the buzzer like i said you have
to guess like what they'd like so it's like oh i like justin bieber whatever but i've what i was
thinking was if you were smart right couldn't like, devise some sort of plan?
Like, all right, if it's the first answer,
I'll give you a wink with my left eye or, like, move my left arm,
and if it's the second, I'll move my right arm or something.
Like, just some sort of device.
Don't you know that these were all idiots?
It took them until episode 9 or maybe even ten to think, let's plan out our strategy going into the light ceremony.
I was like, don't they have like paper?
Like the first day they could sit down and be like, all right, guys, let's start like planning this out.
Like, what's everybody here like?
Maybe there are rules against that.
I can't.
It just seems so weird that it took Keith, the Kray Hunter,
to figure this whole damn thing out.
Here's the thing.
I'm skeptical. I'm very skeptical.
And I think they cheated. I don't know.
I don't know. I know season five didn't
win. Oh, they didn't win?
And season three got a blackout. I saw that.
Oh, whoa. Yeah.
Oh yeah, it's brought down Bunny into fire.
When he threw the bunny into the
fire it was like take that alexis what i figured out ray hunter the show is like solving a rubik's
cube it's just essentially i'm like twist like what about this like no what if we twit nope
okay what if no okay we got that we got that right now i just don't move that and it's it's
just the rubik's cube but both people. Yeah. It's,
it's,
you literally should just be able to find out who your matches by basic
statistics and just mapping out the whole thing.
I remember he spends the entire time talking about he's a math genius.
It takes him to the very end to figure it out.
Here's what I will say though,
watching it through a second time.
There are numerous moments where someone will be talking with their perfect match and completely brush them off.
Yeah.
And there's a really great scene, maybe in like the fifth or sixth episode, where Ethan, Joe, Tyler, and someone else, I think, are all together.
Yeah.
Oh, it is Chad.
They're all together.
And they're talking about how this girl's my perfect girl.
And I'm telling you, like, this other girl, she's amazing.
And they're all, like, goofing around, talking about which girl they think is the perfect girl for them.
And then they start to, you know, go off into the whole, like, Ethan, I thought I was your perfect girl, like that kind of stuff.
It becomes a joke.
At the end of the show, every girl they mention is their perfect girl.
Yeah.
It is crazy to me.
And so it goes back to that whole thing of these guys knew who their
perfect matches was they were trying to play the game they were in it but because they were sort of
the awkward dudes who couldn't really talk to all the girls yeah and all the girls were focused on
trying to get with the five or six like gorgeous guys that didn't click with them until maybe
episode 11 which is insane to me and i still think i want to see the after show because I know for a fact, poor Ethan, the end of the show, he's talking about his date.
And he's like, oh, man, I'm going to get to be with Zoe.
I'm going to go on a date with this beautiful girl.
I want to know how alone he is.
Yeah.
Oh, that was one.
That was one date.
And that was a one and done.
He was like, I can tell my grandkids.
I was like, oh, buddy, I can tell my grandkids. Oh, buddy. I could tell my great
Oh, I finally had a date
Ethan has grandkids already
So I have had friends who have gone on MTV reality shows as plants
I'm not you on a secret shits kind of staged. Yeah, I'm not going to let you in on a secret.
Shit's kind of staged.
I'm convinced Ethan is a plant.
He has to be.
There's no way a person is like that in real life.
He's such a goofy goober.
There's no possible way that he could,
and not like a sexy goober,
not like a lady goober,
like a guy goober.
As we all know,
a goober is a sexy lady that is told to us by the guys in the mall. Damn, she a goober like a guy goober yeah as we all know a goober is a sexy lady that's told to us by the guys in the mall damn she a goober there's some strong goober goober uh contestants on this show
there are some goobers on this show real talk they all right i have to ask you bang mary kill
you need to give me some some names well i mean just from all the women there's
alexis olivia audrey deandra gilles jada kiana nicole narice uche zoe i would bang jada because
i feel like she is she knows what's up jada jada was crazy i love jada she's the only one that like
took her top off to jump into the pool and they're like skinny dipping and she's like i love jada um mary probably like audrey i think audrey's the one i fell in love with audrey
yeah kill probably alexis sorry alexis but put you out of your misery dear just put you down
see i said i too would marry audrey she was like the most wholesome waifu.
Yeah.
Oh, Audrey's total waifu material.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And then I would kill Alexis as well.
Not because I want to, but because she's just crazy.
I just thought the Kray Hunter.
Yeah.
Plus you gotta save the Kray Hunter.
And I said I'd bang Jaless.
It's because I thought she'd be crazy too.
Kind of like Jada, but more like introverted.
I don't, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Jaless was a Jamez.
Jaless was a Jamez.
There were other girls on the show.
Like, Narisse, I thought was gorgeous.
But the problem I have with Narisse is that she let Michael play her way too much.
And I was like, oh, you make bad choices.
I don't even want to be near you.
There was a lot of that.
There was a lot of women where I was like, you're beautiful, but boy, your personality is terrible.
I don't want to be near you.
Yeah.
That was, yeah. or even kiana i was like
kiana's hot but like she's also like i'll never let go of you oh kiana was yeah kiana's attractive
but she's also a crazy from moment one a crazy person yeah not even trying to hide it she was
like i can see i don't remember what she said the first time she met Michael, but I think her like pickup line was something long lines of like, I can see myself with your last name.
It's like, oh no.
Yeah.
Oh no.
Run, Michael.
Run.
And she was like, I saw you on Instagram and I love you.
And I was like, oh, okay.
Yep.
All right.
Well, that's crazy.
By the way, did you watch this with like the MTV app on a television thing?
Like a Roku? No, I watched it on, uh, on this with like the MTV app on a television thing? Like a Roku?
No, I watched it on demand with commercials.
It was terrible.
Yeah.
What's the saying?
Like we had commercials on ours, but like the ads, I said loud ads because the ads,
they'd be like, welcome to the Christmas special.
It's only this year on MTV.
And then they're like, mayonnaise.
You want mayonnaise, right?
Put it on your stand.
And I was like, oh my God, I have to mute it. And then it would like it on your stand and I was like oh my god I have to mute it
and then it would like drop back down and I was like
isn't this illegal can I ask you something
yeah even more
even more possibly offensive than
mayonnaise right
at the beginning of every episode they have an
MTV stinger that's sort of like
it's like people jumping and whatever
when it first starts the very
very very beginning of it.
Yeah.
Go watch this.
Is there a foot swastika?
What?
There's two feet making a swastika.
They overlay it so it looks like it's someone jumping.
And the way this guy's feet are positioned, they overlay the two things on top of each other.
So it looks like two sets of feet making a swastika.
I'm not joking.
I noticed it every single time.
I was like, what is happening over at MTV?
It's got to be some Illuminati shit.
It is straight off a foot swastika.
I'm telling you, go right.
Do you have the app in front of you right now?
All right, hold on.
Let me see.
Just the stinger.
It's the very, very beginning.
The stinger at the very beginning when it's the very very beginning well the
stinger at the very beginning when it's like mtv it's a foot swastika wait so it's like it's like
a thing for mtv or it's a thing for are you the one no it's it's the are you like before are you
the one starts a stinger plays that lets you know that what you're watching is on mtv and it doesn't
it's just like when you watch hbo it goes, and their HBO logo appears.
Oh, yeah.
Same thing, but for MTV.
And the first thing you see, split second number one,
foot swastika.
Oh, shit.
Okay, it's a weird MTV thing.
Here we go, play the thing.
Oh, whoa, it doesn't play.
It just plays the show.
What?
Yeah, it just plays the show.
There's gotta be like a mtv stinger i'm
going to look this up all right because on google play they had it m tv stinger
i feel like when i type in mtv stinger and the first thing i see is mtv asia four reasons why
you shouldn't miss transformers the last night i I don't know where I'm at right now.
None of this makes sense.
Oh, my God.
Everything is, what is, what?
All I've seen for the MTV Stinger is the Kia 2017 SEMA.
Well, here's what I'm saying.
Go out, someone go out, verify this for me. Watch it on your on-demand if you have it on TV. Well, here's what I'm saying. Go out. Someone go out. Verify this for me. Watch it on your
on-demand if you have it on TV.
I know on Google Play it is
also on there and it does play on there.
Straight up, it is
foot swastika. I could not not
see it. It drove me crazy. I was like,
I'm the only one seeing this and people were like, what are you
talking about? I was like, oh my god!
It goes straight to the top.
Yeah, I gotta see that now. Alright, we gotta find somebody just find it link it yeah just link it to us all right what else do i write
down oh yeah the exes i think seeing their exes also showed a lot about them or at least oh they
were before but like who they still kind of are Nurice her ex was just like some football
player dude and she was like yeah he cheated
on me twice and he's like yo
girl like I don't I didn't do that shit
oh was that was that the guy who when they were like
do you think she'll get back
together with you he was like yeah
yeah
so good
then Joe dated some like
Alexis type crazy but like from the previous season yeah but from
the previous season she was insane um and she was like i'm gonna get back with joe i'm gonna get
back with him and he's like uh joe you know joe reminded me of like davis he reminded me a lot he
had the same mannerisms like kind of the same hair at times. And he would just be like, dude, it's like what?
It just like a lot of the same sayings.
He was just like Davis.
But he grew weed.
Yeah.
The first thing he says is he's like, I grow weed for a living.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And then when Keith.
All right.
So when Keith was trying to figure out, it was like the last episode or one before.
He's like, yo, we just got to crack down down on this we got to figure out who's a match and then
Shad was like I think I'm really with Audrey and she's he's like she talks a lot I listen to her
like and then Keith's like yo that's not match material and I was like what yeah it is like they
communicate well and I think that just goes to show what kind of messed up
relationship he was in with alexis yeah when like alexis and he didn't communicate that he said sex
and then yelled at each other yeah that was it and then while they're doing all this they know
they're not a match and they're still going out it's like what are you doing and then when they
do match up at the end and they're just like, I was, I was so confused and I was convinced they cheated because I was like,
okay,
so Alexis picked like,
uh,
what's his name?
Anthony.
I didn't get how they were supposed to be together.
Like Alexis and Anthony.
I don't think Alexis,
I feel like it should have been Malcolm.
You have no matches here.
Alexis,
you have no matches here.
Yeah.
Goodbye.
Only 10 of you need to match.
Like that kind of thing.
You guys need to work on yourselves first.
Speaking of working on yourself, my favorite part of this show is when they go to the lighting ceremony,
they match it on these iPads that are just on a podium.
There are some times where they put their hand on it to match and it was like completely off the thing. You're supposed to put it up. So they would like put it on the podium. There were some times where they put their hand on it to match and it was like completely off the thing you're supposed to put it on.
So they would like
put it on the podium and
that's how they would lock in their match.
But in order to start the ceremony
every time Terrence would have
to go to the podium
and match up with himself. And I thought
that was so funny because he was like
I wanted it to be, you know what, there aren't
11 matches.
Two of you don't have a match.
The real 11th match is me loving myself.
He puts his hands on the thing and that's how they win.
That would be amazing.
Learn to love yourselves first.
My true love is the truth booth.
And then Keith got matched with Jada.
But the thing was, I feel like he just never liked Jada and he never wanted to be a Jada. So whenever they'd be together, he just like never talked to her and would never say anything.
I think he's racist as shit.
He's probably, yeah, he's probably racist.
He's just like, I don't want this.
I want, you know, I want Alexis, my crazy white girl from West Virginia.
I feel like he's got to still be with her.
The more you learned about her backstory, the better it was.
Yeah, I know.
The more you learned about her family and her exes,
you're just like, damn, this girl.
Like when they call in, they call in her grandma.
They're like, what did her grandma have to say about her?
And then it was like her grandma was like, that girl's kissing everyone up in there.
She's having sex with everybody.
You're like, whoa.
But her grandma looked like somebody who would like still go to the club at like 50 years old.
Right.
Yeah.
Of course.
She looked like, oh, yeah, I'd bang Keith, too.
Like, oh, okay.
My favorite is some of the parents were amazing.
One mother was like, bring him.
Someone looks like Channing Tatum.
And one dad was like, unless he's making $200,000, $300,000 a year, I don't want him.
It was incredible.
Yeah, some of the parents were so good.
It showed why they are the way they are.
Absolutely, yeah.
Oh, yeah, and then when they actually won,
when they, like, solved all this shit,
Shad was like, you know,
they put a man on the moon,
we won against the Russians in hockey,
and now we won the game.
And I was like, whoa, hold on.
This is not
comparable at all to
putting a man on the moon or winning at
Olympic hockey as an underdog.
100% it is.
If you watch
that entire season,
there's no
goddamn way they can win.
That's why I think they cheated.
It's just like the Russians.
It's just like the moon landing it's fake all of it's fake
that's true it's all fake there's no mtv mtv i'd be like you know what nobody's won this shit yet
just let's just let make them win just let them win if there's anything that's got to be a winner
this season it's these crazy people and then they just that's what happened oh my god what an amazing show what an amazing
shit show and i think the part one of the reunion is now up is it oh my god i need to watch that
the minute i get home tonight yeah that's my night plan is watching that yeah and just for just from the uh the what do you call it thumbnail it shows
i think uh it looks like joe and uche are still together oh my heart and it looks like i don't
know if they just put these people together they might just still be together and they're like uh
you know they might have paired them with who they left with. Yeah, because Ethan's still with Zoe, and I don't think that would happen.
I would love it if they stayed together.
That would make me so happy on a spiritual level.
Knowing that that goofball can find love.
There's hope for all of us out there.
Yeah.
There's the thing it says.
After weeks of searching for love and playing for money the season six cast reunites
to give insider info on explosive moments spill tea on the unseen drama and reveal what's gone
down since leaving the house i'm ready i want to know i'm ready and the best part is it's part one
there's gonna be another part how much you want to bet it's gonna end part one's gonna end with
kareem being like i'll kill you all he just walks out he's like he's a bitch
i'll kill you yeah then she's just that's why what's her name the one girl he was with for the
like uh olivia she's just like i kind of just want a mob guy you know kind of like he's with
the mob like kind of a temper but then she like, I don't think I want this anymore.
Like just crazy stuff.
All right.
Well, I mean, is that it for this?
I think that's it.
I'm just the only other thing I didn't talk about.
I wrote down his girl throws bananas.
That's right.
That's right.
There was a fight in which a girl threw bananas. another girl. She's throwing bananas. Like, what are you doing?
She's like, fuck you.
Again, they're fighting over Malcolm, who is literally standing next to them, looking down at the floor as they fight over him.
Yeah.
So that's why you got to watch this show.
You got to go watch Are You The One?
It is Cox and Crandor approved.
Approved.
Thumbs up.
Two animated thumbs up. Yeah. Two animated thumbs up.
Yeah.
Two animated thumbs up.
Go check it out.
Go watch it.
And then we can talk about the reunion show next time.
You know, Crandor, the entire time we watched this show, one thing stood out.
What was that?
That in the episode where they all got naked, not naked, in their lingerie and stuff.
Yeah, they have a sexy party.
Yeah.
You know what would have been real sexy?
Who doesn't have a sexy party every once in a while?
Every party I have is sexy.
But you know what would have been really sexy?
What?
If they were in MeUndies.
That's true.
None of them had MeUndies on.
And I noticed that and immediately was like,
a little less sexy, a little less cool.
They all looked uncomfortable
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Classic move.
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Yeah.
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I mean, if I wasn't a crazy person who thought that was disgusting, I would.
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Right?
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Get rekt, cotton.
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That's like three times.
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He's gone.
And then, like the wind.
Where am I? He was
taken away.
I don't know where I am anymore.
Alright, let's do the normal stuff of this show
and wrap it up very
quickly. Alright. Let's go to the chopper.
We got something to go to the Crandor. How's that traffic
out there? Traffic out there is getting kind of
crazy. People going for Christmas. They're going
to the holidays. They're going all over.
The airports are packed. The airports are packed.
The roads are packed.
Are you the one house is packed with juicy drama?
We got everything you could want out there.
And it is Sparta.
Back to you.
Thanks, Crandor.
Wow, Sparta.
Back.
Back from the dead.
Okay.
Sparta's revived.
Now over to the weather desk.
Crandor, how's that weather?
Weather desk. Wow, man. How's that weather? Weather desk.
Wow, man.
I'm at a P-A-L.
Pali, Rajasthan, India.
Pali, India.
55 degrees Fahrenheit.
Feels like 55 degrees Fahrenheit.
High, 81.
Low, 59.
UV index, zero.
Today, 81 degrees Fahrenheit. Today, 81 degrees Fahrenheit.
Tonight, 59 degrees Fahrenheit.
Wednesday, 84 degrees Fahrenheit.
Wednesday night, 56 degrees Fahrenheit.
Wappy, we should look up a tweet from Polly India.
Looking up tweets from Polly India.
Looking up tweets from Polly India.
Yes.
Prakash Pollywall, Sir PM India.
Congrats to you.
Tie together all BJP concerns.
India jobs.
India daily job sales manager worldwide net jobs slash India
slash sales dash
admin Fox off private
lieutenant location poly
RJ India
private servers
where are you at Woppy
snap
that's enough that we can't let him
keep going yep that's the weather.
Okay, and now let's head over to sports.
Sports.
Hey, welcome to sports.
How are you doing?
Good.
That's good.
How should I go Steelers?
Yeah, I mean, they didn't play this weekend,
but they didn't have to because they got a bye week.
Yeah, they got a bye.
Yeah.
Yeah, so first off, for the teams that did make the playoffs, like the Packers,
they fired their defensive coordinator.
Thank God.
He's been around for like eight years.
He was good for like the first two.
Now he's trash.
Get rid of him.
Moving on.
Then got rid of our general manager.
He got demoted.
Now we're putting up this guy with a crazy name.
The Packers have promoted. What's his name here? It's like. I got to look this up. Packers. Who up this guy with a crazy name. The Packers have promoted.
What's his name here?
It's like.
I got to look this up.
Packers promote Gutenkunst.
That's his full name or his last name?
Packers promoted director of player personnel,
Brian Gutenkunst to general manager.
Oh, I looked up Gutenkunst
and there's something called the Gutenkunst group.
The Gutenkunst group.
Oh, my God.
This definitely sounds like some kind of like evil cabal.
The Gutenkunst group, population, geonomics, and evolutionary systems biology.
We are centered in the Department of Molecular and Cellular Biology at the University of Arizona.
Of course you are, Mr. Guttenkunst.
Well, I don't
think it's the same one, I think.
It's not at all. This guy's name is Ryan Guttenkunst.
Ryan Guttenkunst.
Not the same. Not going to make the Packers good
again. He will not, no.
So, hey, we got a new general manager.
He'll actually sign free agents, which will
be nice. Maybe he'll draft a little better. Get us
back on the board.
We'll still make the playoffs, even with Aaron Rodgers,
as long as he's healthy.
But now, if he gets a real team around him, boom.
Although Brian Guttenkunst, having actually found him,
looks like kind of a goober.
Well, he's a Guttenkunst.
You know what? You're right.
What was I even thinking?
Yeah.
But in the teams that did make the playoffs, we had some crazy games.
First one was Tennessee-Kansas City, which, here's the thing.
Kansas City has not won a playoff game in, like, forever.
And it looked like they were finally going to win.
They're just happy to be invited.
They're honored to be there.
They're not. They've made it to the playoffs, like, five years in a row and lost, like, every year. And now they're like, I think we've done it, guys. I think we're finally going to win a game. They're up. They've made it to the playoffs like five years in a row and lost like every year. And now they're
like, I think we've done it, guys. I think we're finally going to win a
game. They're up 21 to three at halftime.
They were looking good. And then
all of a sudden, Tennessee
just scored a bunch
of points. Kansas City didn't do anything.
And then they lost 22 to 21.
And I was like, huh, well, too
bad. So now Tennessee moves on to
play the Patriots,
which I think the Patriots are going to kill them.
Oof.
It's probably not going to be a good game.
I hope it is because everybody wants New England to lose,
but I don't think it's going to happen.
Then the Rams played the Falcons, the Los Angeles Rams.
Everyone was very excited for them, except they're very inexperienced.
This is like their first playoff game since 2003 or something.
And they lost to the Falcons.
Falcons are experienced.
They're a good team.
And they won 26-13.
So Rams go home.
And then earlier today, Buffalo played Jacksonville.
Buffalo made the playoffs for the first time since 1999.
Speaking of Buffalo, all day today.
Right.
Every single thing i saw was
buffalo fans i'm looking at one right now buffalo fans throwing each other into tables and i have
to ask a lot of questions about that why why is that a thing they were doing well every time i
see some crazy tailgate thing happen it's usually. I'm just it's like man gets sprayed by mace that he tried to eat.
And it's like Buffalo.
My God, there's one of a guy body slamming another guy into a table that says hashtag
go bills.
There is another one where a table is lit on fire.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I need.
Okay.
How do I send you this?
Because this sums up the Bills perfectly.
Okay.
Look at this video.
As you can see, a group of Bills fans standing around a table on fire.
A man tries to suplex another man into the fire table.
Totally fails. Completely misses. A man tries to suplex another man into the fire table totally fails completely misses
And eventually throws it in it's incredible the guys just like come on man
Yeah, the crowd cheers the crowd cheers wildly yeah the crowd cheers. The crowd cheers wildly. Yeah, the crowd cheers.
So yeah, the Bills lost today.
Yeah, they lost so badly.
It was...
Here's the thing.
At least the fans are happy.
At least the fans are happy, yeah.
So of all the teams that made the playoffs,
Buffalo and Jacksonville were easily the worst
out of all of them.
And one of the reasons is Buffalo barely made it in.
Their running back was hurt, who is literally their entire offense.
And they're just Tyrod Taylor's the quarterback.
He's OK.
He's not great.
Their defense is their main main reason they're there.
And that's why they only gave up 10 points to the jaguars but buffalo only scored three points in one of the lowest scoring playoff games uh in a very long time
uh also jacksonville very bad they're also inexperienced a younger team blake bortles uh
did not look good at all he like missed like five yard passes i could have made your grandmother
could have made anybody could have made them
could have been a grandma on the field nobody knows
and the only the reason they started
getting points the reason they got a touchdown
because he just started running you like
just started running with the ball and they're like
oh this kind of works and that was it
they go play Pittsburgh next week and I'm
pretty sure Pittsburgh will kill
them everybody was like Jacksonville
but Jacksonville killed Pittsburgh earlier this year,
but it's not the playoffs.
I feel like Pittsburgh's got experience.
They know.
If there is ever a team that could goof on this,
it would be Pittsburgh.
Every damn time, it's a shoo-in for Pittsburgh.
Every time someone's like, well, you know,
the opposing team is 1-11.
There's no way they can screw it up.
Pittsburgh comes in and is like, we'll find a way.
Hold my beer.
Here's the thing.
Every time.
Jacksonville is not good.
They're very, very not good.
As much as anyone would beg to differ.
It's Blake Bortles.
He's so bad.
He's so bad.
Imagine if Ben Roethlisberger was like just completely wasted come game time
there's some time where i think that might be the case well he does i've seen that man throw
and sometimes you're like what what is going on in that giant head of yours his steroid head
look at ben rothlisberger his head is very big the man is my qb and still even i think like
cut down on the roids man yeah and i
think that's sports all right well krendor i sent you what needs to be our big news story of the day
okay oh my uh new art installation at ikea raises questions among residents.
This is a sculpture.
Go on.
What appears to be some sort of, I would say, genitalia, but alien genitalia.
It looks like something you'd find on like coast to coast AM Tumblr blog.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A sculpture at the new Ikea in Burbank that was recently placed near the entrance of the Swedish retailer store has many residents questioning the art piece.
The tall object, which is wrapped in a white material and located just off South San Fernando
Boulevard, has caught interest of some passerby since last week because of its phallic appearance.
Phallic, phallic, phallic, phallic, phallic, phallic, phallic.
Bueller?
Bueller.
It is part of an installation project that IKEA needs to fulfill per the city's Art in Public Places Ordinance,
wrote Lettica Bradley, an IKEA spokeswoman, in an email on Tuesday.
Wait, art in public places ordinance?
Welcome to Burbank.
Welcome to L.A.
Yeah.
All right.
The city regulation requires that 1% of the cost for a major project, such as the retailer's new store or the transportation center at Hollywood Burbank Airport, must go towards an art piece on site or be put in the city's public art fund.
Bradley said officials with Burbank Store
have been working with the city's Art
in Public Places Committee to select
an artist and commission them to work
on the artwork. The project is currently
covered until the official unveiling later
this month. Members of the Art in Public
Places Commission cannot be reached for comment.
My favorite is the Instagram or
tweet or whatever that is. Yeah. It it's literally like can anyone please tell me what this is and it's just
this giant metal dong outside of an ikea here in la now here's what i see when i look at that
instagram photo all right i see either a very sad deflated baymax. Okay, yeah. Or
I see a bowling pin that's just
deformed. Yeah, like a bowling pin that's sad
that the ball didn't hit him.
Yeah. He's like, you know what?
Why can't I be hit?
Yeah.
It'd be a great relationship with Kareem.
Absolutely.
Can anyone please tell me what this is
located in front of Burbank ikea on san fernando
children are wondering parents are laughing seriously can i i'm gonna click the hashtag
children are wondering hashtag children are wondering that is the only thing that shows up
that is the only thing if you're if you were wondering what the hashtag children are wondering, this is the only thing.
Whoa, whoa.
Time out.
Time out.
What?
Hashtag children are wondering, parents are laughing, hashtag seriously, right?
Yeah.
That's by Alexandra Richens.
Click Alexandra Richens.
Okay.
Wait, what?
She's a child actor.
She's like 11.
Who is this person?
Why is she tweeting about penises?
Yeah.
What is,
what is happening?
That has to be written by like a PR person or like her mom.
This maybe it's got to be written by like her mom who like,
maybe they were walking and they were like,
what's that?
And then her mom was like,
I got to tweet this from your account.
You've got more followers than I do. She's in a movie called boyfriend for Christmas. And yes, who like maybe they were walking and they were like, what's that? And then her mom was like, I got to tweet this from your account.
You've got more followers than I do.
She's in a movie called boyfriend for Christmas.
And yes,
the girl is very,
very young.
This is so weird. What?
I'm creeped out by all of this.
Have we stumbled on like some real creepy internet shit?
I don't think we should be here anymore.
I don't think we should either.
I don't think we should be here anymore.
Under hashtag parents are laughing.
There's a kid standing in middle of airport screaming.
I want Caddyshack.
Yep.
I mean, nobody wants Caddyshack that bad.
I mean, is that a story we can hear?
No, it's just Angie Kalas tweeted kids standing in middle of airport screaming.
Hashtag or parentheses.
I want head caddy shack.
Hashtag parents are laughing.
Hashtag Cleveland.
This is not a real person, right?
This is this is her mom.
It has to be it.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's her mom.
I have issues with all of this.
Why is the mom tweeting for the little girl?
Like had hashtag fun with mom today taking care of hashtag business, and I found out I hashtag booked it successful.
Hashtag audition.
Hashtag mom made that.
Hashtag.
That is, yeah.
That's too many fucking hashtags.
Hashtag mom.
Yeah, that is way too many hashtags.
All right, we solved this little mystery once again.
We are top dog detectives on the internet game.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah. We're very good very smart check out are you the one
it's great and that's phenomenal all right well that's it for us thank you so much for listening
or watching whatever you're doing and we will see you next time another exciting episode
and as always to be continued I'll see you next time.