Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 162 - Buffdor Rises

Episode Date: August 27, 2018

Jesse and Crendor are back and this time we have an update on the crendiet and buffdor status. Also there's a new season of Are You the One and the boys can't wait to check out the new cast! Finally a... man microwaves and microwave, and the world doesn't implode?! We need to dig deeper! All this and more, on this weeks new Cox n' Crendor! Get a trial month of Hims for $5 at http://forhims.com/cox Get 15% off your first pair at http://meundies.com/crendor

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by me undies! Me undies are the undies I have on me this very moment. I have like little spooky ones on Grendor, I got their like ghosts. Shit dude. I know. I don't know why I wore them. Oh, cause I was doing Chilluminati today. Oh, that's pretty chill, Chilluminati. I know, I was getting very chill with myself.
Starting point is 00:00:21 Uh, but also, 4hims! 4hims.com is the place to go. You gots to fix that hair. Fix that hair. I know many of you out there right now, you're starting to see some ball spots. You're starting to say, oh my God, am I turning into Jesse? It's possible. It's possible. There's someone who just ran through Crandor's house right now thinking the exact same thing.
Starting point is 00:00:46 You have the opportunity right now. Go to 4hims.com slash Cox and check it out. Fix yourself. Hello, everybody. It's time for Cox and Crandor. This is Crandor in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live!
Starting point is 00:01:06 In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's the Cocks and Crendor in the morning! Cocks and Crendor in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome back to Cocks and Crendor in the morning! In the morning! Hello everybody, welcome back to Cox and Crandall in the morning.
Starting point is 00:01:34 That's what you're doing. That's going to do one of those like... But then I kind of started too close to the mic, so I started being like... Because I didn't know what to do. I imagine that Grandpa Simpson gif of him walking in and walking back out. You started doing it, and you're like, yeah, I'm out of here. I don't got time for this.
Starting point is 00:01:53 It was essentially that, except I kind of halfway through just stayed and kept making weird noises and then walked out. Yeah, and then you let me sing Return to Innocence, which is great. Return to Innocence. A return to innocence. That song? Yeah, and then you let me sing Return to Innocence, which is great. Return to Innocence. A return to innocence.
Starting point is 00:02:08 That song? I've never heard that. Oh, my God. You definitely have. That's the music video where everything moves backwards. You definitely have. I don't think I have. You specifically definitely have heard this song.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Hold on. I'm going to play it right here. Return to Innocence. Return to Innocence. That song? I know you've heard this. Oh, wait. Everyone has heard this song.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Like, listening to it, I don't think I've heard the chorus. But I think I've heard, like, the... Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But I haven't think I've heard the chorus But I think I've heard like The Yeah that's what I'm saying The normal song where she's like Love is something And lyrics also Like that part no one gives a shit about The real jam is the dudes going like That's the real jam
Starting point is 00:03:01 Everyone knows that part Everyone knows that part Everyone knows that part Alright I'm glad we're on the same page Glad we're on the same page How you doing Man can I tell you right before we filmed this So I got into my car I was going to drive into the office
Starting point is 00:03:17 And my car because it's from the future thank god Goes like And a thing popped up And was like, hey, your back right, no, left side tire is deflated for some reason. Or when everything else on my system says it's at 32, my back is at 24, something like that. And I was like, what? What happened? So I go back. I look at my tire because it looked fine. There is straight up I don't know if I drew I don't know if I drew
Starting point is 00:03:51 I don't know if I drew over a thing. I don't know if I drove over a construction site or whatever I did. There is a giant metal like hook in my way. This could be one of those stories where it's like and then the hook was on the side of the car. There could be an evil hooked man trying to get me.
Starting point is 00:04:10 But my wheel, it's deep in there. And then I guess because my wheel was moving, it mashed up the one side of it onto the other side. So it like sealed, I guess, the puncture into the tire. Huh. I don't know. So I guess the tire didn't burst or anything, but there is a big effing metal thing in my tire. So I went and I filled up the tire, and it's fine at the moment,
Starting point is 00:04:38 and I have to make an appointment to go get a tire or something. I literally don't know what happened. I couldn't tell you. But all indications are that I ran over a pirate, I guess. I don't know. You got to watch out for pirates, dude. They're everywhere. Yeah, car piracy, it's a real problem.
Starting point is 00:04:58 That's like one of those things where they get shot and the bullet's still in them. They can't take it out. They're like, well, just leave the bullet in. They live with a bullet in them that's what your tires Got that's kind of what It's like it is a giant All just from looking at the
Starting point is 00:05:11 Outside bit it looks Like uh there's a ring And then a giant metal piece And then it appears to have like a hook So whatever this is it hooked In and then I ran over it and then it Sort of like dug itself into the actual tire. That's so weird.
Starting point is 00:05:29 It looks like something if you were on a construction site and you had to keep. You know what it looks like? It looks like if you were putting a railroad together. It was one of those rail spike things. That's what it looks like. It has a circle instead of a flat head. Yeah, it's crazy looking. Maybe it is a railroad spike.
Starting point is 00:05:45 It's possible. I do drive over railroad tracks. I just don't know where it came from, but I'm not okay with it. I mean, that sounds like we solved the puzzle. You drive over railroad tracks. It looks like a railroad spike. You know, this isn't rocket science. But they're railroad tracks that are paved over.
Starting point is 00:06:01 They slip out every once in a while. It's like pop out. Of pavement? Of pavement? Yeah, railroad spikes under there just pop out. I feel like you're just, you're like that lazy police officer who's just like,
Starting point is 00:06:14 yeah, no, I solved the case. I put certainly evidence. No, I solved it. I solved it. It all makes sense. Let's go to lunch. Yeah. There's this new sub place down the street like okay chief whatever
Starting point is 00:06:26 you say oh my god i remember i drove over like a nail or something once because then my tire thing came on i was like that's probably nothing and so it turns out it was something why would you say it's nothing if it comes on like literally a light appears you're like it's not i thought it was one of those like check, check, like, oh, it's an oil, like, you need an oil change type thing. Because it had been, like, three months or something. I was like, yeah, whatever, it'll be fine. Then the tire was deflating, so I had to fill it back up. And I kept doing that for, like, two weeks.
Starting point is 00:06:57 Then I was like, I should probably get it checked out. And they were like, yeah, you're going to need a new tire. And I got a new tire. Can I ask you a question? Did they try to, like, upsell you? Because every time I go in for a new anything, ever, they're going to need a new tire. And I got a new tire. Can I ask you a question? Do they try to, like, upsell you? Because every time I go in for a new anything, ever, they're like, well, you know, you need a new tire, but you don't want your tires to be lopsided, so you probably should get, like, two tires.
Starting point is 00:07:14 I'm like, well, then why wouldn't I get four tires? They're like, that's a good idea. I'm like, no, no, I just want one tire. And they're like, well, you know. I got some, I got a pretty good people. They don't, they're just like yep this is what you need here you go and sometimes they'll be like hey your thing's kind of broken but you can do it later or whatever and i'm like all right so i mean i
Starting point is 00:07:32 got some pretty good people sounds like chicago your shit's broken but uh you could do it later all right sounds good yeah what's going on with you uh What is going on with me? Everything's still working So that's good, nothing's falling apart again I've been going to the gym I know, oh we need to talk about that Oh we need to talk about that Alright So how's the gym, how's your gym life?
Starting point is 00:07:58 I have a personal trainer Yo, what's his or her name? She was I forgot her name, but she was forgot her name but she was like it was like my age she's like 30 time out how'd you forget her name she's your personal trainer i don't know so all right listen so like uh all right i get there she's like all right we're gonna we're gonna get you strong i'm like all right sounds good're going to get you strong. I'm like, all right, sounds good. So I did some stretching. Got warmed up.
Starting point is 00:08:27 And then I did the, what is it? Let's see. I don't know the names of these machines. There's like the one where you pull the bar down. You know that one? I know what you're talking about. You reach up straight and you pull the bar down. I know that one.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Yeah, there's that one. I did 50 pounds on that one. And she was like, is that like medium, normal, or like easy, medium, or hard? And I was like, it's like medium, hard. And she's like is that like medium normal or like easy medium or hard and i was like it's like medium hard she's like all right good she's like you want to aim for like medium hard and do like eight to ten reps and like two sets of that so i guess that's how you like mainly strength train so i was like all right uh well obviously at that person who's like honestly uh i'm present trying three set four sets of five rep for the like yeah there's nothing you can say right now that someone won't
Starting point is 00:09:10 say you're doing it wrong but please continue so anyway i did that you're doing it wrong uh i did some like free weight five pound things a couple of those i did uh some leg some leg day where i did like leg curls and uh some uh what do you call it leg press i did the leg press i was doing like 120 there with you this entire thing yeah she was like watching and like counting and she'd be like all right how was that how many days have you been to the gym three days this week and was she there with you all three days oh no only the first day oh yeah so why isn't she there with you she's not your personal she was just like assigned to your ass the first day yeah well like then uh it's like
Starting point is 00:09:51 once a week i get it but like obviously i can go there more than once a week sure sure so then they like every week they check in on you like all right let's see how you're doing let's see what needs work blah blah so i was like all right so i did that I did uh like when I was doing leg curls just like your knees are kind of buckling so that muscle's weak so then they like put a strap around my uh my like calf muscles and like I did the thing where you like walk side to side and like do little like leg walk thingies and it like strengthens your hip muscles or something I don't know uh and then I felt great and then the next day i was extremely sore so yeah that's what working out that's that's how that works yeah i was like all right and then
Starting point is 00:10:33 the next day i went back and then i kind of did some other stuff there that i didn't do before and i was like all right so i kept to that mindset and uh the next day i was kind of sore, but not as sore. I was like, all right. And then I went two days ago, around on Friday, and then I did all the stuff I did on Monday again. And I was feeling, like, stronger. Like, I upped it from 50 to 60. Like, I was like, all right, I'm feeling this. So now I'm, like, slowly working my way up. And so I've been feeling good. I feel like I got more energy.
Starting point is 00:11:04 I feel like my muscles actually feel like they're there and not like atrophying or whatever it's called. Close enough, yeah. So I've been doing it. I've been feeling good, Mr. Krabs. I'm proud of you. You're doing something amazing. This is good. This is very good.
Starting point is 00:11:18 I'm on my way. I will become Buffdor soon enough. I'm ready to see the ultra buff version of you because you know when that guy shows up oh god you're gonna be like all roid raged out and just angry yeah but angry with a purpose yeah oh yeah like an angry purpose yeah like an angry purpose that's gonna be a real treat yeah that's gonna be a real treat So have you been doing the Crenn diet? Yes. So let me tell you about the Crenn diet. All right. So I meal prepped chicken and broccoli and rice, but I added some green beans because I wanted green beans.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Okay. And I had that all through the week, and I think we need to specify how I can make the chicken and rice and stuff because it was the most bland thing I've ever eaten. I was like, well, all right. So I put a bunch of hot sauce on it and it was fine. Yeah, you get his hot sauce. That works. Yeah, that sucked. But then I also meal prepped a homemade sandwich like chicken and burger stuff.
Starting point is 00:12:21 All right, All right. So I got it all prepped in advance and I had pre-made lettuce and I brought it in buns and then I put on hot pickles and mustard and ate that too. And that was my lunch stuff. And then I went and bought those K cups of coffee. Yes. And I drank that in the morning. Hell yeah. And I got oatmeal to the point where my parents brought me oatmeal to my house.
Starting point is 00:12:44 I walked in the house one day, and there was additional oatmeal. They just went in and left me oatmeal. They listened to the podcast. More oatmeal than I'll ever possibly eat. They're like, Jesse needs oatmeal. You know they do. Right now, they're listening to this, and they're saying, oh, no, he told everyone to break into his house.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Yeah, well, they did that. And yeah, and then I'm trying to think. Yogurt. At night I've been eating a yogurt, but, like, I'm a bad boy, so I got the yogurt that, like, has the thing where you flip the granola and shit into it. Oh, I see. So.
Starting point is 00:13:17 You want your granola. I like my yogurt to have a crunch to it. Okay. I don't. Creamy, creamy yogurt, I don't live that life. Okay. All right. all right yeah i mean it's not bad so so far so good it's been it's been an adventure i uh you know i celebrated today by getting uh chicken strips and a chicken pot pie so all right you need like your one day i canceled one day. I canceled out a week's worth of effort. But yeah, nice.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Well, do you feel different? I feel like a man who probably should look into other solutions besides just chicken and rice and broccoli. But it's easy. Your life is an easy life. The way you get through it is all the coffee. Yeah, the coffee really helps you. It makes you forget you're hungry.
Starting point is 00:14:15 The coffee makes you forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The coffee gives you that, like, I'm no longer hungry. I just want to work all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, like, I don't know what voice that was. That was my coffee voice. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I can't wait to eat more coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eat more coffee. Yep, that's right. Wow. You are. Yeah. You are.
Starting point is 00:14:34 And then sometimes I would sometimes instead of the chicken, rice, and broccoli make like salmon. So you could get creative, throw salmon in there with like asparagus. That's what I'm saying. Like, oh, man, yeah. I was thinking, like, do a shrimp or some type of fish. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:53 I believe in that dream. Yeah, fish is good. I like fish. But, I mean, yeah, you can just, as long as you keep on that plane, it's great. My plan has been I work out, I get get very hungry and then i eat a lot and then my heartburn acts up i mean that sounds uh terrible it is but that does not sound okay it's partially due to just you know already being heartburn prone but i get really hungry so i'm like i want to eat food so like uh for example, on Sunday I went golfing before my workout thing,
Starting point is 00:15:28 and my friend was like, let's go to Hooters. So we went to Hooters, and I ate a bunch of wings and curly fries. Well, there's your problem. And then I think I got pizza for night, my thing at night. Don't do this to me, man. I had fucking chicken and rice all week. Don't do this to me. That's what chicken and rice all week Don't do this to me That's what I ate for like four months
Starting point is 00:15:48 Four months You're a bad person I lived that life alright Then I ate Chipotle And then I had ice cream after the Chipotle And then my heartburn Got really bad so I just pulled back a bit Well yeah that's why
Starting point is 00:16:04 Oh my god Yeah so I've just been I just pulled back a bit. Well, yeah, that's why. Oh, my God. Yeah, so I've just been chilling out for a little bit. I ate salmon. I had some, like, turkey sandwich. Pretty good. And then we went to my parents' house. My mom was like, I made some beet salad.
Starting point is 00:16:17 So I got beet salad. It's pretty good. I like beets. Yeah, I'm not a big beet person. Do I need to become one in order to become as healthy as you? When's the last time you ate beets? Probably years ago. I don't know. I'm not a big beet. I mean, I might have had it in
Starting point is 00:16:31 something else since then. Right. As part of like a salad or something. I've never just had beets on their own. And I keep hearing commercials for like super beets. Oh yeah, the super beets. I'm curious. Are beets... Do you believe beets are healthy? Yeah, beets are healthy. They're good for your blood and your liver. Why do you not know that?
Starting point is 00:16:47 Why do you say that? Because they're red? No. They looked up studies on it. Who looked up studies? I did. Well, let's see. Eating beets.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Hell. Wait, no. You can't say I looked up studies as you're typing it into Google. No, I've looked it up before. Like, look at this. Beets. All right. Are they good for you?
Starting point is 00:17:11 Not to mention. Oh, here we go. They're low in calories and a great source of nutrients, including fiber, folate, and vitamin C. Beets also contain nitrates and pigments that may help lower blood pressure and improve athletic performance. Lastly, beets are delicious and versatile, fitting into a well and healthy balanced diet. But who wrote this? The beet? Big beet? Did But who wrote this? The beat? Big Beat?
Starting point is 00:17:25 Did Big Beat write this? Big Beat did not write this. It's not Big Beat at all. I'm telling you. Hold on. I typed in beets are a lie, and I'm trying to figure it out. Hold on. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Okay. Beets can lower your blood pressure. Beets can boost your energy. Beets boost your brain power. Antioxidants. Beets can boost your energy. Beets boost your brain power. Antioxidants. Beets are great. Oh, yeah, but this thing says if you eat beets every day, this is what happens to your body.
Starting point is 00:17:51 What happens? What are some side effects to eating beets? Pink urine. Man, that's whatever. Dark stools. Kidney stones are a side effect. Oh, boy. Gall stones are a side effect.
Starting point is 00:18:03 I can't get that anymore. Look at that. Check one off the list. Yeah, but look at that. Maybe that's because you ate those beets that you got gall stones. I mean, I didn't eat a whole lot of beets. Maybe because you ate just a few. Think about it.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Oh, my God. Think about it. I mean, I don't know. Did Beats, audience, did Beats try and kill Crendor? Hmm. I just picture a Beat with a knife being like, I'm gonna get him. That's right, that's right. You try to eat me. Put the knife down, Beat. Walk away.
Starting point is 00:18:40 I mean, Beats are good. I like Beats. I think you're fine. Alright. Small amount of beets. Moderation. All right. It's pretty good. I've also had a lot of ginger and chamomile tea. I like those teas. Very good.
Starting point is 00:18:55 What else? Let's see. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Uh-huh. Are you just thinking about food right now? Yeah. I'm trying to think of the things I've eaten. Num, num, num, num, num, num.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Me, on the other hand, I'm suffering. Guys, this is why you don't become fat. That's the lesson here. Because then you just have to, like, work hard, and it sucks. The thing is, like, obviously it's bad, but when you're skinny, it's like a trap, right? It, like, tricks you. And then before you know it you got Gastritis and no gallbladder and your insides are roasted. I mean I feel like that's just a very specific
Starting point is 00:19:34 I don't know that translates to everyone, but it's a thought that counts I suppose well Well, I mean sure there's like a lot of people it doesn't you. They're kind of like, no, I can eat whatever I want to. But. I mean, it is pretty nice to be able to eat whatever you want. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. Listen, I'm not going to deny it. You're a monster. You're a monster.
Starting point is 00:19:53 But sometimes, I wish I could gain a little weight. If only I could give you half. What would you do? What would you do if you were. All right. Crendor, close your eyes. Okay. You're 200 pounds. All right. What would your life be like?, all right, Crendor, close your eyes. Okay. You're 200 pounds.
Starting point is 00:20:06 All right. What would your life be like? I'd eat a lot of pizza. Yeah? I love pizza. You love, all right, give it to me. Is that how you talk at 200 pounds? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:17 That's you? I love pizza. I love beets. Yeah? I love french fry. Uh-huh. I love food. Yeah, yeah, alright, yeah. What else do you love?
Starting point is 00:20:30 What else is 200 Treador love? Let's see. All the things I normally like. Yeah? But just more of it? Yeah, just more of it, really. I couldn't even imagine that, because I have a hard time eating a a lot of food because I'm already, like, a smaller person. So, I'm trying to, yeah, alright, so you're 200 pounds.
Starting point is 00:20:51 What do you think your 200 pound meal would be? Okay, 200 pound meal. I'd probably just eat everything on my plate whenever. And then I'd also have, like, snacks throughout the day. So, what is the difference between that and now what do you do now uh i mean i can forget to eat for like hours so like uh but i don't really do that anymore so like i what i used to do is i'd wake up i'd have coffee and then i wouldn't eat till lunch so it'd be like i'd go like throughout the night sleeping without eating and then not eat anything for breakfast and then not eat till lunch and i'd eat like a really big
Starting point is 00:21:31 lunch like i'd be like give me a euro with the spicy fries and uh the coke and i'd eat a lot of that and then uh i'd wait a bit longer till like like, the night. And then I'd eat, like, I don't know, something else. Like, make a sandwich or something. Have something on the side. And then that'd be it. So I'd feel like I ate a lot when really I'd only eat, like, two meals. So I mean, like, what? Like, that Euro fries would probably eat 800, 900 calories.
Starting point is 00:22:02 And then my other meals probably, like, 500 calories. Really like 12 1300 calories i just okay and that was like you know that's that's what i would do but now that's why when they're like you gotta eat like 2000 calories i'm like oh my god how am i gonna do that i guess you just like eat eat the meals throughout the day you gotta have like four or five hundred calorie meals. That's a spaghetti sandwich if you ask me. And not literally. I'm so jealous of you. I'm genuinely jealous. Alright.
Starting point is 00:22:34 But like I don't know. Maybe I don't understand what most people eat. Like what do you think a normal person would eat? What would you eat? Well here's the thing is so i like so the other day this is just something i've always noticed and i always say to myself oh cool this is this is where i'm at right i like if i go out let's say we go to a restaurant
Starting point is 00:22:58 i'll order a thing and i'll be with the person to order something as well i'll be like well that was a good meal and i'll look down at my plate and it as well. I'll be like, well, that was a good meal, and I'll look down at my plate, and it's, like, clean. I look over at their plate, and it's, like, three bites taken out of it. I'm like, are you kidding me? How is this even possible? Why did we go out to eat then? What?
Starting point is 00:23:16 Like, what? We could have just ordered one thing and then shared. We would have been fine. That's true. I don't know. Maybe it's the portion size you're saying. Like, when you get a lot of food in front of you, you're like, I gotta eat it just because
Starting point is 00:23:32 it's there. Yeah, of course. And that's definitely the problem because I'm not like a big snack person and I'm not like a big you know, all that other crap. I don't like all that. Well, that's my thing is i'm not a eat everything i'm a very wasteful person if you couldn't tell i that's i know i you come over
Starting point is 00:23:53 and you buy like a bushel of bananas and eat one that's what i do all the time and they just sit there and i'm like oh okay yeah and that's a problem so i'll go and then i'll go with people who are like no no i'm gonna I'm going to take it home. I'm going to take it home. And then it will sit in my fridge. They'll leave it there. I'm like, are you kidding me? Why did we go?
Starting point is 00:24:11 What are we doing? Yeah, I'll take anything home. I'm just like, unless I know I'm going to eat it, I'm just like throw it out. I'm not going to eat it. That's what I'm saying. This I blame my mother for probably because this definitely has to be one of those like there are kids starving in Africa kind of things. So I if something's on my plate it's gone which is why I but but also the flip side is if I go to like an all you can eat kind
Starting point is 00:24:33 of thing I'll get one plate and eat it and I won't go back because I'll be like I don't want to I mean I ate what I wanted on my plate. I got everything I wanted on the one plate so like I don't want to go. What am I going to go back and get? Like, that kind of thing? Yeah. So, yeah, I guess I negate that. So, you'll never see me at, like, an all-you-can-eat buffet just chowing down.
Starting point is 00:24:55 That's not my problem. That's true. Well, I also have a very fast metabolism, which plays into it. Because I've gone to, like, Cheesecake Factory, and I got, like, Chipotle chicken pasta. Right? I ate half that. took the other half home. That's because I also ate like bread because they give you bread
Starting point is 00:25:10 and then I'll usually have like a drink, like a beer. And then I got like a flatbread. So eat some of the flatbread. Then you gotta get cheesecake. So you have the cheesecake. And then usually you take it home and eat the rest at home. Listen, I don't know about diet. I don't know about anything.
Starting point is 00:25:29 I just kind of get hungry and I eat food. Like, really? When people listen to us and we, like, tell you stuff, this is, like, the worst possible advice you could take. I've always said this. Don't listen to our advice. Yeah. Don't listen to it.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Oh, my God. I forgot. One day I actually got a McCrendor. Oh, my God. I forgot one day I actually got a McCrendor. Oh, my God. Why? Okay. I was hungry. I mean, it's your namesake.
Starting point is 00:25:49 You know what? I got to eat my sandwich. It's your namesake. Yeah. Yeah, you have to. I ate it. It was pretty good, honestly. But it definitely contributed to more heartburn.
Starting point is 00:26:05 But it was pretty good. I have all the sandwiches. I think it's the best one. I know that that's important, what you just said. Right. But I want you to know something. Okay. A pop-up just appeared on my computer.
Starting point is 00:26:22 A pop-up just appeared on my computer And the pop-up Was an ad For a new Sharknado movie And while you're describing yourself eating the sandwich A clip played And as far as I'm aware The new Sharknado movie Is a time travel film
Starting point is 00:26:43 And all the characters From the previous movies are alive, but because Merlin brought them back to life, and they're all in a castle, and they're now dragon sharks. I just don't know what's happening right now. I just don't know what's happening. But, yeah, that popped up. And I was immediately taken away on an adventure. So, yeah yeah there you go
Starting point is 00:27:08 wait is this like is this out yeah I think tonight go to twitter.com slash sharknado sci-fi this sunday the latest sharknado it's about time they're going back
Starting point is 00:27:24 to stop sharknados by stopping the first shark nato by traveling back in time wait shark nato came out in 2013 that's not even that long ago it's like five years they've already made six of them maybe that's more than one a year that's a problem that's so many shark natos what was the last one? Sharknado5 Global Swarming. What the hell? Apparently they're in the Revolutionary War. How many Sharknado's have you seen? I haven't watched any others.
Starting point is 00:27:55 I couldn't tell you what happens in any of the other films. Why they're back in time, who knows? Uh-huh. Well. Speaking of terrible shows, Are You the One? Yes, Are You the One is back. Yes. Man, I haven't seen the new episode, but word on the street is in the first episode, someone goes crazy. The first, we don't even make it. If you remember last season, there was some crazy shit that went down that first episode. That's true.
Starting point is 00:28:26 But no one went insane until maybe six or seven episodes in. That's very true. Now they're telling me someone went crazy episode one? They got to spend nine more episodes together. I'm ready. I'm ready for it. I'm ready. I can't wait.
Starting point is 00:28:40 I can't wait. I haven't even seen the first episode. Are there like all that so the characters are like a bull house they'll like host guys the same home I you know what I'm looking so I don't know I haven't seen it oh you haven't seen it the one season seven I haven't seen it yet no season six we came off season six and it was amazing mmm season one just happened no season one and two just happened oh they just did they season 1 and 2 just happened
Starting point is 00:29:05 Oh they just did the like First and second episode Episode 3 is on the 22nd Episode 4 is on the 29th Alright alright Andrew Court Instagram 24 from Reading Massachusetts Oh where do you see
Starting point is 00:29:21 These people's at I found it on this website Hold on let me link it to you It's the cast There you go So there's Andrew, alright, he's like your typical Like, igas
Starting point is 00:29:36 Oh man, we have to guess like who's gonna be The crazy one, alright, yeah So, Andrew Couture That's not his real effing name Hold on. No. Andrew Couture. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:29:47 I went to his profile. Right. Yeah, no. I don't like this guy. He's like the douchey guy. Yeah, he's definitely a douche bro, but he could be like a douche bro with a heart of gold. That's true. But most of his photos are not okay.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Like, they're just... But he's definitely a douche bro. He's definitely a douche bro with a heart of gold that's true but most of his photos are are not okay like they're just but he's definitely a douche bro he's definitely just bro okay next uh next up we've got kaylon i love um she's like the the hipster girl with the crazy hair uh you know what she's giving me like a little bit of a Uche vibe. I'm okay with this. She's the Uche. She's got a little Uche vibe. She just graduated. We're stalking these people. Just so you're aware.
Starting point is 00:30:32 We're stalking these people. She just graduated from Cal State Fullerton. She's living her life. She's smart, but she also likes to take photos of her butt hanging out, which is cool by me. And she apparently has interviewed people for Fox and T-Mobile. She's trying to get in the industry. This is not the way to do it, but I wish her luck.
Starting point is 00:30:53 She will never get another job, but I wish her luck. Next up is Brett Ferry, 26, from Bent Hills, New York. Here's the problem with Brett. His hair looks like he has one of those Russian hats on. Yes. Brett looks like... If you put a star on that, I would think it was a hat. I would think it was a Russian hat.
Starting point is 00:31:18 I think it was an agent. Yeah, he definitely got that issue. Plus, he looks like that Jersey Shore guy. Like he'd fit right in with all the Jersey Shore. Yeah, most of the stuff that he has on his Instagram is like Guns N' Roses photos and ACDC photos. Like him in sweaters. You know what he looks like? If he was in the 90s, I think he was the coolest guy you've ever looked at.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Yeah, he looks like he's straight out of the 90s. He looks like he should be, I don't even know. He should definitely be in some sort of 90s rap group. Mm-hmm. All right, next up we got Bria Cristal. Okay. Bria Cristal. Vacaville, California.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Yep. She, let's see. Okay VacaVille, California Uh, yep, she Let's see She looks like She's gonna be, wait, which one is she Oh, she's that one, she's like the Badass bitch one Like she's gonna fight somebody She does have that look about her, oh yeah
Starting point is 00:32:20 She does have that look, plus she has a tattoo On the back that says Know yourself, know your worth. Oh, yeah. She's fighting people. Yeah. She's fighting somebody. She's fighting somebody.
Starting point is 00:32:30 This girl is throwing down over a dude. Yep. I don't know who. I don't know why. She's throwing down over a dude. That's for sure. No doubt. That's for sure happened.
Starting point is 00:32:37 No doubt. Next, we got Cam Viney. I don't know if Cam Viney is his real name. Cam Viney. It really is. That's his name, Cam Viney. All right. Cam Viney looks like the nice guy.
Starting point is 00:32:58 He looks like he's a very try-hardy nice guy. All of Cam Viney's photos are of him in Washington D.C. Oh no Oh no 24 Christian University of Illinois West Virginia U law graduate Works in
Starting point is 00:33:17 What is IJM.org What is IJM.org Wow He works for the slavery End slavery Coalition or something. Is it like a volunteer thing? Maybe. I just, why is he on this show?
Starting point is 00:33:34 Dude, I told you. He's the nice guy. What is he doing? He's going to be like the, what was the dude last year? Like the lion looking guy. All right. What was the dude last year? The lion looking guy? Alright. Also, while we're at it, this guy 100% is not.
Starting point is 00:33:51 This guy is a foreign spy. One of his posts, Cam Viney, Fin Sediting, met Mina Amerikanska Vaner. What? I'm telling you.
Starting point is 00:34:05 What? Oh, he's in Iceland. So he's trying. Oh, yeah. Cam Viney. Got near R. What are you talking about? What are you talking about, Viney?
Starting point is 00:34:13 Dude's a spy. That's why he's there. He's spying on the American institution of RU the One. I knew it. All right. So this guy's a spy. He seemed too nice. He seemed too nice.
Starting point is 00:34:22 He's the nice guy that's a spy. That's how I'm going to remember. Yeah. Wow, he's traveled the world a whole bunch. My God. Why are you there? This is... All right.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Well, let's continue on. All right. Continuing on. We got Callie Trepp from Chicago. Callie Ray. Her account is private. Whoa. She probably went crazy. She probably went crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:45 She probably went crazy. She looks like she'd go crazy a little bit. Well, here's the thing. Callie, everyone else we've seen so far has had about 3,000 to 7,000 followers. Even the really attractive dudes. Yeah. Callie got 12,000 followers. That probably happened overnight. Oh, dang.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Oh, Callie. What'd you do, Callie? What'd you do, Callie? Next, we've got daniel vilk from brooklyn danny he looks like he's from brooklyn he looks like there's never been a more brooklyn looking dude in the world like he just got in a boxing match like this morning and took that picture his instagram go down to the second middle second row he basically is auditioning for rocky he looks he looks exactly like rocky he looks like you imagine sylvester stallone's sound that's what i thought like hey it's me danny v i'm here to do some stuff That's exactly what it is
Starting point is 00:35:45 Oh my god My muscles they try to escape my skin But I don't allow them to Wow Yep that is 100% it That's it Let's see next up we've got Jasmine Rodriguez from New Jersey
Starting point is 00:36:02 Alright Jasmine She looks like the... Wowee. She's... Jasmine, like... Jasmine's trying to get, like, Kardashian status. Yeah, her Instagram is full... My God, some of these photos are just, like,
Starting point is 00:36:18 her ass out. Girl's killing it. Let me give you an experiment. If you just scrolled really fast through this page, right? Oh, I think Kim Kardashian. Yes, many of these photos literally look like Kim Kardashian. It's literally a Kardashian ligand. Which is crazy to me because the filter, she's definitely putting filters on some things. Because at some point she looks totally different than some of the photos.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Which makes me wonder, hold on, is this really, maybe this totally different than some of the photos. Which makes me wonder, hold on. Is this really? Maybe this is just a photo of Kim Kardashian. No, it isn't. No, that's just Kim Kardashian. All right. Yeah, that's just Kim Kardashian. All right.
Starting point is 00:36:55 By the way, anybody who wants to follow along with this, you go to people.com slash tv slash areyotheonesesonsevencast. They got, like, dashes through it all. Just search, like, areyotheonecast7people.com.com some shit you'll find it sure sure all right either way moving on next up we've got uh quasi a poku quasi a poku i'm gonna let you know the real truth quasi looks like he's a chill ass dude he does He looks like he is very high a lot of the time. Yeah, I'm looking at him, and I think, like, I'll be real with you. If there's anyone we've seen so far that I think would be a great person to have a drink with, it's this dude.
Starting point is 00:37:36 Yeah. This guy's good. This dude, yeah. You know, oh, my God. Some of his photos straight up look like he's trying to Black Panther this thing. Very much so. He looks like... If you scroll down far enough, he literally is T'Challa.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Some of his outfit choices, it's amazing. This guy's great. Here's the thing. Going back a while on his Instagram, he's taking pictures with Miss Ghana USA. Yeah. It looks like there's many photos of him. Maybe. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Wouldn't that be amazing when they bring on the X's? And then Miss Ghana USA shows up. It's got to be it. Tell me this one. This one at Alamo USA, the beginning, the end. What the shit? There's a picture of him grabbing his junk. What?
Starting point is 00:38:23 All right. Third pick. Fourth pick down left side pick. Fourth pick down. Left side. Instagram. Fourth pick down. Left side. Fourth pick down. Yeah, that's true. He's protecting it from this woman who definitely wants it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:36 This is incredible. I mean, I'm more going I've already passed his current self is the sellout self. I'm already past that. I'm going down further when he's like i don't know he's he's like dress he literally looks like he is in the movie black panther he does i think that's he's like he's he's stylish as shit this is a this dude wingman for your ass i believe that i believe that yeah um all right all right uh let's see who's up next next we got Kayla Umagat
Starting point is 00:39:08 okay she's from Seattle killing it oh she seems like a sweetheart she's the wholesome cheerleader I don't know she looks like the wholesome one though she definitely does but she's also the same type of person who takes those photos with, like, graffiti. She's like, uh. I don't know how much I like that. What was the one girl, what's her name from the last season? The Asian girl. Uh, the one that was the Michael. Michael and girl who was clingy.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Yeah. Clingy girl? She's like that. Well, you know what? She was clingy girl was right, if you remember. I think she might be was clingy. Yeah. Clingy girl? She's like that. Well, you know what? She was clingy girl was right. If you remember. I think she might be the clingy girl again. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:39:51 She doesn't have like that clingy girl vibe. I don't know. But she does have like a flirtatious, like she is about family. Oh my God. I'm going to. Crazy rich Asians. Scroll down. Scroll down.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Wait. She is literally crazy rich Asians. Scroll down. Scroll down. She is literally crazy rich Asian. Scroll down. Like all the way down? If you, like, at a certain point you'll see her family. There's a lot of Instagram. Wait, okay. Oh my god. Then she's around the world. She's traveling around the world and then she literally, oh my god,
Starting point is 00:40:18 crazy rich Asian. Oh my god. Wait, what the shit Okay Okay Then there's Wait was she a cheerleader for the Seahawks That's what I said she's a cheerleader She's a cheerleader for the Seahawks
Starting point is 00:40:39 There was a cheerleader last year too I hate the Seahawks Well Sorry you've lost a fan, Kayla. This shirt she has on says, Keep dreaming. Shine like a star. Never give up.
Starting point is 00:40:55 You are your own beautiful. See, I don't know if I agree with that. My dreams are crazy, first off. So I don't know if I want to that. My dreams are crazy, first off. So I don't know if I want to keep dreaming. Shine like a star? Most of the stars that you see are like... Balls of gas. Yeah, but they're like already dead.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Yeah, they're slowly burning themselves out. So I mean... Burn yourself out. You're essentially like keep dreaming. So I'm having crazy ass dreams as I'm shining like a star. So I'm like burning out. I'm just burning out on my dreams. Go to the next guy.
Starting point is 00:41:28 We found our new e-money. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's the new e-money. Ludo too much. Go to his thing. He is a professional comedian. If you scroll down, the vast majority of his photos are of him and other dudes.
Starting point is 00:41:45 This guy is our new e-money. This is e- and other dudes. This guy is our new E-Money. This is E-Money. Yeah, this is our new E-Money. He's not like his shirt. So far, he's the only man we've seen with a shirt not off in every photo. Yes. He's literally got photos of him just on stage. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Oh, this guy's E-Money. The girls are not going to give him a damn chance. I feel so bad. Prove me wrong show i can't wait oh yeah this guy they're gonna just ignore the shit out of him i feel bad because this guy's probably the most fun yeah it's true uh all right yeah I'm liking this guy. Let's see, next up we got... Kenya Scott from Queens. Oh, Kenya Scott. Alright, we have...
Starting point is 00:42:34 She's like... You know the girl earlier I said was going to fight somebody? This girl is fighting someone. This girl is like... This girl is going to fight her. She's like a mix between that and the Kardashian girl.ian girl she's like the hybrid oh yeah like this oh boy this isn't oh no i know oh wow this girl she uh uh if you go down all the way down to the bottom there's just video of her like shaking her butt and like licking her lips looking at the camera
Starting point is 00:43:06 and stuff. But like that's all cover. You're right. She's a fighter. This girl gonna fight people. I see it as clear as day. This girl fighting people. Oh yeah this girl. This girl fighting people. No doubt.
Starting point is 00:43:21 I believe that. You're right. I believe this. Yeah. Oh yeah yeah she has that look in her eye like i'll kill a man oh my god yeah all right i'm excited now all right uh let's see next up we've got mo el khali oh it's our new joe it's new joe this is like uh joe but like a little bit of a drake joe he mixed with Drake. Yeah, Drake Joe. Drake Joe. Oh, that's awesome. Although I feel like they're spoiling some of it because they posted a photo and he's
Starting point is 00:43:52 like, he's got his arm around this girl. Oh, yeah, I see that. Yeah. No, no, that's spoilers. Don't want to see that. You know what? He's got like a very kind of like, I don't necessarily like his hair. He's just trying to be Drake.
Starting point is 00:44:08 But like, yeah, his little haircut is Drake haircut. I'm not a huge fan. But he's like got some great ass like vibe going on. He's very stylish. Yeah. All right. So, yeah, it's just Drake to me. Next up, we've got
Starting point is 00:44:25 Lauren Rausch 23 from West Virginia Oh this is like that girl last season Who only showed up like One or two times I can't remember her name Zoe who like never had a voice And she was like I'm just happy to be here They never really featured her
Starting point is 00:44:42 In anything because she was quiet I think this is this girl Yeah I think this is this girl. Yeah, I think this is this girl, too. Former beauty queen, West Virginia. Why are all these people coming out of West Virginia? Yeah, she's got that southern girl vibe. Oh, yeah. She's definitely going to be the girl who is there, but not really there.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Yeah. She's got some beauty pageant things but like southern beauty pageants so she's like here i am at a baseball game here i am at the local prom here i am on a mountain here i'm drinking a milkshake like you know absolutely yeah uh all right so yeah that's gonna happen uh god bless her she's great yeah yeah up. She'll probably say that, too. God bless you. Shamoy Persaud. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:45:29 It's the Tyler. Yep. There's the Tyler. It's our new Tyler. Shamoy. Oh, Shamoy. Although, this guy's way more ripped than Tyler. Oh, my God. Wow, you scroll down.
Starting point is 00:45:39 He's looking great. Wow. Okay. One of these photos, he looks like the love child of Slash and someone else. One of these photos, he looks so ridiculous. Why would you dress like that, Shamoy? Shamoy also definitely smokes a lot of weed. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:56 Half these pictures, he is looking extremely high. I don't blame him. I don't blame him. Life as a model is tough. Yeah, I don't blame him. All right, so that's Shamoy. Then we got Maria Elizondo. Okay. Oh, she's from Jersey? Oh, this chick's starting fights.
Starting point is 00:46:19 Yeah, she looks like another Kardashian fighter. Oh, yeah, she's fighting. This is, you this is this is that one girl who got in a fight with the other girl over that dude cameras name wasn't Michael the guy who was she had the big hoop earrings and like the dude like the two of them the father of the dude who's cheating on both yeah the house yeah this is that one. I know what you're talking about. This is that. That girl. This girl is there. I started with a D, like Darcia or something like that.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Deandra. Yeah, Deandra. That was it. Deandra, Narice, and the guy. I don't remember the guy's name. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tevin Grant. Yeah, this girl. Oh, yeah. Who? Tevin Grant.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Tevin? Oh, my God. He's from Arizona? This guy. Tevin Gray Tevin oh my god he's from Arizona This guy Tevin wow Tevin is like He's got the like crazy hair Yeah but he's also Here's the problem Are you the one for like normal people
Starting point is 00:47:18 Everyone here is ripped as shit I know I know I wonder if that's Can I break the I know. I wonder if that's... Can I break the game for you? I wonder if they choose them because they're all full of themselves and have crazy egos. Oh, no doubt. That's what they're hoping they'll all bang because they're just dumb, beautiful people?
Starting point is 00:47:37 Yes. Because that's what I'm hoping. That's what I'm hoping. Knowing producers on sketchy reality shows there's no doubt they're like how can we create we need to have dumb beautiful friends that can get us involved in this shit I want to be can you imagine season eight of are you the one all these gorgeous ass people and then I just show up like yo beautiful girl what's going on, ladies? It would be amazing.
Starting point is 00:48:08 It would be amazing. I would change the game. You would change the game. I'd change the game. You're like the wild card. Oh, my God, yeah. I'd get in fights with everybody. I'd start shit. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:19 I'd be like, I am the one for all of you. They all matched you with me. That's the twist that season. I was a match to all of the women there, but they all went after, like, the 22-year-old model. I was like, that's why you're all failures. Oh, yeah. Idiots.
Starting point is 00:48:34 You big dumb idiots. It'd be great. Yep. Next, we got Morgan Fletcher. Mo Fletch. Oh, she's private, too. Oh, she got some shit that first episode Man we missed it
Starting point is 00:48:47 Oh Morgan Thomas Buenos From Miami His name's not Tom Buenos Get out of town Tom Buenos They call me Tom Buenos Yeah he's just like a ripped dude
Starting point is 00:49:02 They find people who travel a lot Which to me says two things One Either all these kids parents are like super rich Or two all these people are faking it Until they make it Like the vibe I get is a lot of these people Are just like
Starting point is 00:49:19 Fresh out of college and they are just Yeah I know I post a lot of photos Of me around the world because I see other people doing it, and I don't want to feel alone. Yeah, and he plays, like, sports. Let's say he plays soccer or something, travel around and play soccer. Although I will say, out of all of them, he has, like, that boyish good-look face. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:36 He has the face of someone that would steal your heart. Hey, it's me, Tomas Buenos. Ah, he's probably involved in a love triangle. I believe that. No doubt. He's in a love triangle. I believe it. Yeah, yeah He's in a love triangle. I believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Let's see. Next up, we got Nutsa Sikaruzzi. Oh, man. I don't know who this is, but I can tell you one thing. Her screen name is just Nutso. Nutseal. I'm going to let you know that, to me, she looks like a troublemaker. Every photo she's taken is like a staged shot.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Can I just say, let me just read some of the comments. All right. Oh, is this going to spoil shit for me? No, this is a post from like before the show even aired okay you're a little bitch can't wait for bria to beat you tiny ass wow just licked my phone you are so pretty oh my goodness you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Creo que podemos ser. Stunning. She's Kylie Jenner's doppelganger, or am I the only one that sees it?
Starting point is 00:50:52 Oh, no. This is... I see what you're looking at. This is posted... These are season seven comments. We can't talk about this. She got in a fight with someone. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:51:00 This is a fighter girl? Man, I thought she was going to be like... I thought she was going to be one of the ones that was going to cause trouble in the house, but, like, I didn't think she'd be a fighter girl? I thought she was going to be one of the ones that caused trouble in the house, but I didn't think she'd be a fighter girl. Oh, my God. Nope, nope. I knew it. I knew she would.
Starting point is 00:51:12 She's got the crazy braids. That's like the MMA fighter thing. When she braids up the hair, she's ready to MMA fight. I just knew she was going to be a problem because every single photo on here is a post photo or her in a commercial or on a TV show. Or her – like, yeah. I don't trust – this is my number one rule. If all of your Twitter stuff is either you posed in some way or a video of you being posed or, more importantly, a video of you like either one, licking your lips at the camera Or two, like Suggestively dancing
Starting point is 00:51:45 That's all for show There's a secret darkness to you That I don't trust I don't trust it If everything you post is like happy and amazing There's a secret there Where's your photo on Instagram With you like eating a taco
Starting point is 00:52:01 Where's that? Post that shit Then I'll believe you're a real person And not like a psycho killer. Yeah. So we got Zach Jones. Zach looks like the normal guy. He really does. Zach is the dad bod guy.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Yeah. And oh, wow. He doesn't have a page. It's that. Do you think Zach? Who is Bria? Do we find a Bria yet? No.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Have you seen a Bria? I think she was way back there. Well, Zach. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Bria was Bria Hamilton. We got to go back. She was Bria Cristal.
Starting point is 00:52:43 We got to go back. She was the fighter weall. We gotta go back. She was the fighter we picked. Oh, shit! Oh, my God. We got it. That's a match. Oh, my God. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm ready. I'm ready for it. I can't wait. Yep. Yeah, the is. Oh, my God. I'm ready. I'm ready for it. I can't wait. Yep. Yeah, the know yourself, know your worth tattoo.
Starting point is 00:53:10 Oh, my God. And she got to fight with that girl who looks like one of the Jenners. Oh, my God. That's episode one. Oh, my God. I'm ready. We got to see it. Oh, that's going to be all we talk about next time.
Starting point is 00:53:23 I know it. It really is. And then, of course, in the end, there's Samantha McKinnon, who is from Chicago. That's a hometown girl. Yeah, that's going to be all we talk about next time. I know it really is. And then of course, in the end, there's Samantha McKinnon who is from Chicago. That's a hometown girl. Yeah. Hometown girl. She's a, she looks, she looks like Ashley Tisdale. She, yeah, I don't know. I guess. I mean, I trust her because there there's photos of her like drinking straight from a bottle. Yeah. Like I know what kind of crazy she is. Like, I see this. She's not hiding.
Starting point is 00:53:48 None of her photos. Yeah, like, these are just photo photos. They aren't special filters. She's just out there. I trust this girl. She's probably crazy, but, like, oh, my God. There's a photo of her just licking another girl's butt, but it's, like, outside of, like, pajamas with those, you know, the back flap pajamas. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:06 You know what? This girl reminds me a little bit of Alexis. I'll be real with you, but I'm fine with that. I know what kind of crazy that is. She also had her Twitter, so I clicked on her Twitter. She has a tweet that just says, I hope all my exes
Starting point is 00:54:22 are super salty to see me on TV. Damn right. Damn right, girl. says I hope all my exes are super salty to see me on TV damn right damn right girl and that's the cast yeah oh my god can you I can't even believe it so many oh man she's posting shit like I hate games just say what you actually mean
Starting point is 00:54:42 I'm not wasting my time trying to find hidden messages yeah I know this girl she's you actually mean. I'm not wasting my time trying to find hidden messages. Yeah, I know this girl. She's going to start some shit. I'm ready. I'm pumped. I'm ready for her. I'm ready. Wow.
Starting point is 00:54:53 That took like 40 minutes to read off the list. Worth it. Worth every second of it. It was worth it. No doubt. All right. Well, I guess we should get down to some really important stuff that are actually worth it because it's advertisement time. Ad time.
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Starting point is 00:57:50 the commercial jingle building in my head maybe it's well speaking of head men if you're listening right now and you notice some hair loss this is for you 66 percent of men lose their hair by the age of 35. Oh. I know. It's one of those things where, Krendor, I'm going to let you know, I learned this, fast weight gain or fast weight loss causes hair loss as well. Oh, jeez. I learned that.
Starting point is 00:58:18 So I'm letting you know that as you're trying to get buff, you may lose your hair. Also, if you start taking those roids, it's happening. It's going to happen to you. Oh, no. It's going to happen to you. Oh, no. It's going to happen to you. If you want to prevent all that from happening, if you're listening right now at home and you want to keep your gorgeous head of hair,
Starting point is 00:58:32 you can do that. But you need to ask yourself, have you ever seen a little bald spot growing? Are you getting more forehead than you've had before? When you wake up in the morning, is there hairs on your pillow? That kind of stuff? That means it's happening, y'all! But thanks to science, this can be optional. You don't need to be bald.
Starting point is 00:58:52 You don't have to be like your dad, basically is what I'm saying. It doesn't have to happen. Fate won't get ya, but you gotta take care of yourself. So, that's why we're recommending ForHims.com. It's your one-stop shop for hair loss, skin care, sexual wellness for men. It's all there.
Starting point is 00:59:10 They just introduced the skin care thing, and I was like, I might try that out. I'm very good about my skin. I take care of my skin. I like to get all moisturized and stuff and scrub my face. Big fan of moisturization. Oh, yeah. I like my skin to be good. And let me tell you, for the record,
Starting point is 00:59:26 I've never dated anyone who's been like, you smell bad today. Every time they're like, you smell so good. Damn right I do because I take care of my ass. Yeah. So you can get on 4hims.com and get no waiting room, no awkward doctor room visits. You can save hours just by going on.
Starting point is 00:59:45 They'll ask you a few quick questions. You'll upload some photos. And a doctor literally is going to be like, okay, here's what we should do. It's amazing. They will get your hair right. They'll get your skin right. And they'll make sure they'll get your bedroom right too, if you know what I'm saying.
Starting point is 01:00:02 4hims.com has even put more photos on their saying. 4hims.com has even put more photos on their Instagram. It's incredible. They actually, I got a message from them that was like, hey, if you have photos you want to share with us, please let us know. So like, they're asking people who are actually using it to share photos. At CoxCon, some dude
Starting point is 01:00:17 was like, you're looking good, Cox. I'm like, thanks, man. So, you know, it works. It's working. So, this is what you need to do. You get a free trial month of 4HIMS for just $5 right now while supplies last. See the website for full details where you got to go. 4HIMS.com slash Cox. You can save hundreds on whether you went to a doctor or pharmacy by doing this.
Starting point is 01:00:43 It's so cheap and so effective. That's 4HIMS.com slash Cox. on whether you went to a doctor or pharmacy by doing this. It's so cheap and so effective. That's 4hims.com slash Cox. 4hims.com slash Cox. C-O-X. Cox. Yep. That's my last name.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Okay. All right. Crandor. Let's get to the topic of today. Let's go, Crandor. Crandor, how's it going? Well, right now, it's pretty late at night. Nobody's really driving around.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Or late at morning, you know, depending. Early morning, not late morning. You know what I'm saying. Where am I? I need my coffee, and I need to wake up. Just, you know, if you're going to go anywhere, just go like 3 a.m. There's nobody out here. Back to you.
Starting point is 01:01:22 Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to the weather desk. Crandor, how's that weather? Weather's looking pretty good. Let's pop the old WAPI back. WAPI activated. Eight, four, five, six, five. Obernürkischen Bayern, Deutschland.
Starting point is 01:01:39 Whoa, hold on. I'm sorry, what? Obernürkischen, Germany. Obernürkischen? Obernukerchen Germany. Obernukerchen? Obernukerchen Germany. There's no place called Obernukerchen. Get out of town. Obernukerchen Germany. 63 degrees Fahrenheit.
Starting point is 01:01:56 Feels like 63 degrees Fahrenheit. High 84 degrees Fahrenheit. Partly cloudy. A stray shower or thunderstorm possible. Tonight, 60 degrees Fahrenheit Partly cloudy, astray, shower, or thunderstorm possible Tonight, 60 degrees Fahrenheit Tuesday, 86 degrees Fahrenheit Tuesday night, 60 degrees Fahrenheit
Starting point is 01:02:15 Wednesday, 88 degrees 40% chance thunderstorm Wow, you know what I just learned? What? There's an Ober-Nukertschin, Germany And then very close, there's an Ober-Nukertschin, Austria Oh, is there? Yes
Starting point is 01:02:34 Ober-Nukertschin Let's see Oh my god In 1991 It had a population of 2,946 people In 2001, it had a population of 2,946 people. In 2001, it had a population of 3,000 people. They're moving up. They're moving up.
Starting point is 01:02:50 And Obernukertchen. Obernukertchen is killing it right now in Austria. What is the German version? We don't have stats on the German one, I guess. Damn, there's no German stats. Oh, population 835. Wow. Mama mia. Wait, population 835. Wow. Mama mia.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Wait, Austria, Obra Nuka Chin's doing better than Germany in Obra Nuka Chin? Dude, Obra Nuka Chin looks pretty old. Hold on now. Hold on. The Obra Nuka Chin I'm trying to see here. Never mind. The two Obra Nuka Chin coat of arms are different. I thought it might be the same Obra Nuka Chins.
Starting point is 01:03:25 They're not. They're not They're not Their coat of arms Is like a dragon Yeah The Austria one Is A lamb With
Starting point is 01:03:33 Basically a Jesus lamb Basically Obernukertschins They have a website Obernukertschin.ooe.gv.at And all they have on their website Is Obernukachin is the picture of a pool. That's all you need to know. We have one pool here.
Starting point is 01:03:53 You will love it. Yeah? Yeah, you will love the pool. We have beer. This is amazing. This is pretty great. Translate. Yeah, I'm translating this.
Starting point is 01:04:04 I want to know more. The outdoor pools of Obernukertchen and Waxenberg. Obernukertchen doesn't have his own outdoor pool. He has to share a pool with another town. Oh, my God. That's what happens when you only have 2,000 people who live there. It's expensive to have that pool. Yep.
Starting point is 01:04:19 All right. Well, we learned something today, I guess. Yeah, that's the weather all right and sports sports welcome to sports desk uh i mean as per usual baseball's still going but we're getting closer to the playoff baseball so that's kind of fun uh and the big thing nfl preseason started up things are getting kicked off looking good i watched the first episode of hard knocks for the cleveland brown is it it's pretty good and you know what i actually felt bad for the cleveland browns head coach guy because he has that's like he's had some crazy shit happen in a matter of like months his mom died his brother died and then like he's being filmed
Starting point is 01:05:06 on the show and like he has to like coach this one in 31 team back to winning oh yeah that sounds about right that's some crazy shit dude but they're like they're pretty pumped like they're like yeah we got like all these new rookies we got some new like veterans in here they like they're looking they're looking pretty pumped i'm saying you heard it here first they're gonna win a minimum of three games maximum of five three to five games coming i like how they're i mean they're trying i guess that's practically like a playoff season for the browns yeah i guess that's comparable. Yeah, sure. So, I think a new episode came out like this one. I didn't see the current one, so I got a lot to watch. I gotta watch that. I gotta watch
Starting point is 01:05:51 Are You The One? A whole bunch. And by a whole bunch, I mean literally just those two things. Next episode's gonna be so much better than this one. Y'all don't even know. Oh, and I gotta watch The Great Wall or whatever that thing is. Yes! Oh, good lord. You have so much to watch. So much to watch The Great Wall or whatever that thing is. Yes. Oh, good lord. You have so much to watch. So much to watch.
Starting point is 01:06:08 Sports. All right. What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day is a Florida man attempting to microwave a microwave died in an explosion. Time out. I'm sorry. What? So they're saying a Florida man microwaved a microwave and died in the explosion.
Starting point is 01:06:30 But here's the thing. I just want his website. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Right. Is this the first time anyone's decided to microwave a microwave? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:06:39 I've never heard of this before. Like, this might be the most interesting thing I've ever heard of, and it came out of Florida? Whoa. Okay. hit me with this i never thought this is this guy had to have been high this is a high only when you're high are you like what if we microwaved a microwave man it's like a who watches the watchman situation okay hit me but here's the. The top link was to hoax or fact. And Prashanth Damarla has written, A Florida man dies attempting to microwave a microwave. Fact check. So story, Florida man dies attempting to microwave a microwave.
Starting point is 01:07:17 Other versions, Florida man dies in explosion after attempting to microwave a microwave. Fact check. A shocking story in circulation states that a Florida man dies attempting to microwave a microwave. It is said that the death happened in an explosion during a bizarre attempt. No. As explained below, the claim is not true. Florida man dies attempting to microwave a microwave. The story originated from July 3rd, 2018 on website 8shit.net.
Starting point is 01:07:45 The report states... A trusted news source. A trusted news source, of course. The report starts by saying the 26-year-old Florida man Bill Davis has had one of the most epic deaths after
Starting point is 01:08:00 attempting to microwave a microwave. Allegedly, the man was on video call with his friends and the bored lot dared to microwave a microwave. Allegedly, the man was on video call with his friends and the bored lot dared him to microwave a smaller microwave. The story says the crazy man went on to do it for the sake of fun, to make his friends laugh, despite the claim we did not find credible report on such an incidence in Florida. The image of the burnt kitchen that comes out with the story
Starting point is 01:08:21 is in fact the result of a fire incident in early 2016 the damaged house belongs to romanian and former master chef winner ada paraskan as a matter of fact ate shit is a satire humor website who'd have thought which publishes fake news shocking rumors and reports with incisive sarcasm and humor. The same is described in their About page, and they also carry a similar disclaimer at the bottom of their website. So, the claim that a Florida man dies attempting to microwave a microwave is just a hoax, and that's that. So, by microwaving a microwave...
Starting point is 01:08:59 Hold on, there's a YouTube video. There's a YouTube video. Microwave on microwave. Hold on. Hold on. This guy's microwaving a microwave. He's putting one microwave inside another microwave. You put an iPad in a microwave.
Starting point is 01:09:16 All right. There we go. Microwave in a microwave. Yeah. What does happen? I'm looking at it. I'm looking at it. It definitely.
Starting point is 01:09:24 So basically what happens is the microwave was fine, but the number pad in the microwave, the plastic bit caught on fire. So the actual microwave, by the way, the guys that are making this literally are outside of what appears to be a CD old motel and it's terrifying so i wouldn't necessarily ever want to stay where these guys are at but they microwave bleach and the bleach just exploded inside there but it's fine they microwaved a photo of a friend and the photo was fine uh yeah i mean the actual microwave itself nothing exploded. It was fun the plastic paneling You know where like the numbers and shit are yeah caught on fire. I See so now we know now we know the truth well
Starting point is 01:10:13 At least games we've had like I think at least four people tweet the status I like Florida man strikes again, but look at us. It's fake. Yes if you want to know real Florida man story This just popped up on at florida man um oof when hollandale beach mayor keith london said sphincter bleaching is a very up-and-coming business during the city commission's budget discussion monday night he may have been right but whether he thought anal bleaching had anything to do with public safety budgets and the topic being discussed remains unclear why london thought it relevant night, he may have been right. But whether he thought anal bleaching had anything to do with public safety budgets and the topic being discussed remains unclear.
Starting point is 01:10:48 Why London thought it relevant, much less appropriate, to accuse a female commissioner of making her living from bleaching her own anus is even more baffling. Yep. So there you go. That's what I'm here for. Apparently he called out someone's anal bleaching. So there you go. All right.'s what I'm here for. Apparently he called out someone's anal bleaching. So there you go.
Starting point is 01:11:06 All right. Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much for watching and listening and doing whatever you're doing. Before we get out of here, Crendor, hit them with the socials. Twitter.com slash Crendor. Twitter.com slash Jessica. Twitch.tv slash Jessica. Twitch.tv slash Crendor.
Starting point is 01:11:22 YouTube.com slash Jessica. YouTube.com slash Crendor. Go to Spotify. Go to, or I thinkor. YouTube.com slash Jessica Cox. YouTube.com slash Crendor. Go to Spotify. Go to, or I think Spotify. I don't know. Just go somewhere. iTunes. Give us five stars.
Starting point is 01:11:31 Go to SoundCloud. Go to Cox and Crendor. Or YouTube.com Cox and Crendor. Watch our animations. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. If you want to watch podcasts on YouTube, give it a like. Give it a thumbs up. Smash that like button.
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