Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 170 - The Halloween Spirit
Episode Date: October 29, 2018Here we go! The boys are back with spooky episode about .... well nothing spooky actually. Unless you consider Crendor becoming incredibly agro as he gets more and more buff. Or perhaps your kind of t...error is in the yogurt isle with Jesse? Maybe the most truly terrifying horror is the one that never goes away.... cause the mcrib is back!!! All this nonsense and more on this episode of Cox n' Crendor! Get 15% off your subscription at http://lootcrate.com/cox with promo code: COX Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/crendor
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Hello, everybody.
It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
This is Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4 and Grendar in the morning.
Hello. So you're a ghost now huh uh no why did ghost gotta sound like that you're like um well the thing is people just say ghost sound like that but have you ever heard a ghost
uh no because they don't talk to my ass i'm too lame for ghosts well i mean the thing is, whenever you hear them on the EVPs or whatever they call those things,
they're always like,
They're not like,
Right, but those are TV ghosts.
That's true.
The ones they capture on EVP, those aren't trained professional ghosts.
Those are like ghosts that are just around, and they're catching them mid-conversation.
Because trained professional ghosts are like, whoa, I'm a ghost.
Bob Marley or whoever, Jacob Marley.
Bob Marley.
That's a different story.
Bob Jacob Marley.
Bob Jacob Marley.
Well, how many types of ghosts are there?
That's a great question i don't uh you know you got your specters and your
ghouls and your gas and your banshees and your uh uh specto patronums and your specto patronums
spectral emissions and your uh shades and your shadows oh there's tons there's tons
There's tons of them
Yeah but how many of them are real
I'm gonna say none
Okay we're just checking there
Yeah yeah yeah but there's a lot of them
Yeah I mean it's almost Halloween
It is you're right that's really what this is about
Getting in the spirit of Halloween
I've done some Halloween stuff
We went to pumpkin patches.
We bought pumpkins.
So, I mean, that's something.
I had apple cider.
Hold on, hold on.
You bought pumpkins, plural?
Yeah, two.
One big one, one little one.
Why?
For what purpose?
Halloween spirit.
Are you carving the pumpkins?
Well, I might carve the little one for a video.
Big one's just like, he's just there for decoration. But why might carve the little one for a video big one's just like he's just
there for decoration but why not carve the big one that's too much work you're in the spirit but
like not that much in the spirit yeah like i enjoy it but i'm not gonna like go overboard with it
sure sure sure as a crendor does yeah that's too much work. So yeah, that was pretty neat. Got some apple cider.
I like the hot apple cider.
You gotta get that.
That's a staple.
I'd rather have that than all the pumpkin spices.
You know, give me some apple cider.
I can't do pumpkin spice.
Pumpkin spice is too much spice for me.
Well, I like it like once or twice, but not twice.
That's too much.
Yeah, once is enough for me.
I can't do it.
But they have stuff that's like salted caramel things.
This is when it gets really fun with flavors.
I'm into that.
I can do that.
I also like the Oktoberfest beers that come out.
Those are some good beer.
Yo, there's a beer place that just opened up near my house that's like very, very good.
Ooh.
Yeah, it's a brewery.
Yeah, it's very nice.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot.
We went to get a... Yesterday we went out and we got Mexican food. So, yeah, it's a brewery. Yeah, it's very nice. Oh, yeah. I forgot.
We went to get a, yesterday we went out and we got Mexican food.
And there's a lot of people there.
And I wrote down some conversations I heard.
Great.
I have a Mexican food story for you as well.
Oh, my God. I challenge your food stories.
All right.
All right.
So, first up, people behind us sat down.
They ordered some drinks.
And then the woman was looking at the thing and she's like, wine tax, 90 cents, wine tax, 90 cents.
And she was like freaking out about the 90 cent wine tax.
And then she like complained to the waiter and the waiter is like, yeah, that's what it is.
And then I don't know if they actually forgot their credit card, but she's we forgot our card i'm just you'll pay for this and then sorry and then they
just left yeah i get i think that i think that she didn't want to pay a wine she was so upset
about paying a tax on wine yeah i believe and then she uh she also talked about how she's like
on the pta board or something it's like one of those people. Like one of the moms of like.
I'm on the board of parent teacher association.
So like.
She's like the in charge woman.
Right.
She's very upset at that wine title.
No one can give her shit.
For being mad about 90 cents in wine.
Because she is on the PTA.
Yeah.
So that was that woman.
They left.
I was like alright.
There goes my listening for that group of people.
But then, big ass group of people sit down at this table.
And one is like this old man and this old woman in this like group of friends.
It was a weird group of friends.
Like, I would not expect them all to be friends.
But I guess they are.
They're co-workers.
They're something.
And the dude was just like...
What do you mean?
What do you mean it was a weird group of friends?
It was a weird group of friends.
What does that mean?
You look at those people and you would not expect them to be friends.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
It was like, okay, there's like a 60-year-old man and his 50-year-old wife.
60 year old man and like his like 50 year old wife there is like another couple but it was like a younger i want to say like hawaiian couple and they were like in their okay mid-30s pacific
islanders sure i don't know and then there's another uh couple and then it was like, she looked like a 25, probably like my late 20s white woman.
And then this other dude who was like, I want to say like a 50-year-old man with a mustache.
And I don't think he was with that girl.
So I think it was coworkers.
But maybe, how do you know that she doesn't love 50-year-old men with mustaches?
I don't know.
I could be wrong.
So anyway, they weren't like talking to each other
though so like the the two girls were talking to each other and then the old woman was like
just nodding at the old man on a rant who was ranting to like the the one hawaiian dude and
she was just he was like let me tell you lost my coat and And then he started mumbling, and he was like, I can't find it anywhere.
And he was freaking out.
And then completely stopped talking about his lost coat.
And then he mentioned that he bought the whole Denny's menu for $175.
You know what?
I've always wanted to do something like that.
I envy this man.
He's lived a good life.
That sounds too low to order everything off the menu.
You know what?
You know I have to go look now.
I have to go look now.
That's what I was saying.
All right.
The thing was, the one dude listening to him was just like nodding.
Just like, yep.
I'm going to the menu at Denny's.
I need to know.
Oh, my God.
Festive flavors are in season.
Woo.
Oh, they don't have any.
Oh, you know what?
What am I doing? Let's see. Order now.
Yeah, I can just click order now.
Yeah, here we go. Order now. I'm going to go to
Denny's on demand, and I'm just going to order everything.
We'll see what happens. I'm going to go to Denny's in
Brooklyn, New York. That's exactly where I'm at.
I'm in Denny's in Brooklyn.
We have to have the same thing.
Okay. Yeah. Alright.
Alright. Food. I'm going to go to the food.
Denny's food.
We're going to go to festive flavors.
Oh, my God.
You have to do so much to make this happen.
Add the bag.
Multiple clicks.
Multiple clicks are occurring.
Festive flavors.
Turkey dinner is like $40.
That looks like it's supposed to feed the family
though. It's a go-favorite. Oh, yeah, I guess it is.
Although, if I was going to order a turkey dinner for the family,
I don't know that Denny's would be the place.
That's what I'm saying.
But the holiday turkey melt, I mean, they can't really screw that
up, so I'm, alright. Yeah.
Alright, here's the thing. They have a pumpkin pie milkshake.
Pretty gross, but I'm adding it.
That is, yeah. Pumpkin spice
pancake puppies? They're like hush puppies, but I'm adding it. That is, yeah. Pumpkin spice pancake puppies? They're like
hush puppies, but pumpkin spice?
Add to the bag. Don't even let me add it. Add it to the bag.
Oh, yeah. Wow. It won't.
Oh, you have to select a size.
Oh, okay.
I do the big size, because we're going big.
We're going big, boys.
Alright, then we got...
See what else is there?
Pumpkin pie. Turkey dressing and dinner. Yeah, add that to the bag. Right, then we got, see what else is there? All right, festive flavors.
Pumpkin pie.
Turkey dressing and dinner.
Yeah, add that to the bag.
What do you mean?
Oh, I have to do a slice or a whole pie.
A whole pie, obviously.
A whole pie, no doubt.
No doubt on that.
No doubt.
Beacon pie.
Give me that whole beacon pie.
Call that a no doubt.
Give me that whole.
All right, only going through the holiday menus, I already at 138 dollars there's no way he got
the entire menu no way no way there's no it's not man's a liar he's a liar uh and then there
were like some other things he kept mentioning but it was like ramble talk where he'd be like
artists can't stand it and then you like like the noise of the restaurant just drowns them out.
But I'd be like,
what can he stand?
I need to know,
but you don't want to just like lean over like,
uh,
uh,
but it made me realize that there's always a group like that where you got the lead talker who's just talking it up.
Yeah.
And then his like spouse who's just done with his talking.
She's been dealing with that for 20 years. So she, she gets it. She just nods. See, it, like, spouse who's just done with his talking or her talking, whatever it is.
Yeah, she's been dealing with that for 20 years.
So she gets it.
She just nods.
See, it's like on that side, it was him.
And she's like, ah, damn it, Frank, not again.
And then on that other table, it was the woman being like, PTA meeting woman here.
And the guy's just like, here we go again.
She's just going to ramble about the PTA.
There's always the one in the relationship.
They just ramble.
And then they got the dude who's just listening like, yep, yep, give me another beer.
He's just like feeling his buzz.
He doesn't care what you're talking about.
I feel like that's me sometimes.
I'll listen to people talk about whatever and I'll just drink and be like, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, mm-hmm, yep, yep.
whatever and i'll just drink and be like yeah yeah and then there was the the other two women who were just like can you believe like these people are just talking really loud like let's
just talk about our own stuff they're like oh my god definitely like there's always those two people
who are like they they side tangent away from the main conversation to be like do you really care
about this and there's like no and then they just talk about their own thing. And then there's that other dude
who was just the loner.
Mustache Man.
The Mustache Man is the part of the equation
that doesn't make sense.
But I'm willing to believe that
he just followed them in and sat down
and none of them had the courtesy to ask him like...
None of them wanted to ask him to get up.
Yeah.
Maybe they met him at Denny's.
Sure.
He ordered the whole menu.
And then, you know, before you know it, he's eating every meal with you.
So we were at a Mexican restaurant last night.
And it was, like, myself and Alex and, you know, all the boys.
Yeah.
And about halfway through dinner, a guy stands up and shouts, attention, attention, everyone.
And we honestly got at first thought we were all about to die.
But then we all turned around.
Saul was like this dude who was sort of dressed up for a date and he had a white rose in his hand.
Now, the minute that happens, what do you think is about to occur?
Some sort of like wedding anniversary or like
Of course, of course, right?
This guy goes, ladies and gentlemen, I have
an important announcement. This lovely
lady that I'm dating right now, and he points
to this woman at the table who looks
mortified. Just
terrified.
This lovely lady that I'm dating right now
gave me this rose. Now I've been a
man for 45 years and never has a woman given me this rose. Now, I've been a man for 45 years
and never has a woman
given me a rose. This is a first for me.
I just want to say, times
are changing. Times
are changing, and if a woman can give a man a rose,
anything's
possible. And I just
want everyone to know that this is the first that's ever happened
to me. And I look
like this lady right here, this beautiful, this is the first that's ever happened to me. And I look like this lady right here. This beautiful.
This is our first date.
And this beautiful lady brought me a rose.
And I just want everyone to know that.
And I'm just like, what the hell is happening right now?
This is our first date and it'll be our last date.
That's okay.
He sat back down and we all just looked at each other like, what?
He's like, times are changing.
Women can do anything.
I was like, what is going on?
How drunk was he?
I think they just sat down.
I think this was their first date.
She brought him a rose and then he stood up and just let everyone know.
How many drugs was he on?
That I can't tell you.
I will say that we were in a Mexican restaurant way out in the desert.
So, like, it was desert people.
You know, the L.A. desert people.
There's a lot of drugs probably there.
Yeah, probably a lot of drugs Probably there Yeah probably a lot of drugs
Yeah
Yeah
So
He was
What happened like
The rest of
Like see him the rest of the night
No they just sat there like
Talking
So I guess it
Went well
But it was just a weird
Bizarre thing that happened
We were like
That is really weird
Cool
Alright then
Um
Earlier in the week
I went to Subway Cause you kept talking about Subway.
So I had like a Subway craving.
Right.
And I was in Subway and it was myself and a little old Asian lady in front of me.
And she couldn't figure out what she wanted to eat because the music that was playing was like, you know, 90s, 80s, new wave, like crappy music.
Yeah.
You know, crappy music.
Yeah, the crappy music.
As it was playing, she kept pausing with the orders and singing along.
What?
But not in like, under her breath, or like, I'm singing a song and I'm thinking about a thing.
No, it was like a grandmother at church singing.
I can't remember the name of the song, but the lyrics, she kept singing it over and over again to the top of her lungs.
It was like, stay with me.
It was incredible.
And she did it really high pitch.
She's like, stay with me.
I was looking at the lady behind the counter and we almost burst into laughter.
And we had to like stop ourselves from laughing.
It was so funny.
She was in her own, she just kept being like, I'll have, stay with me.
I'll have the wheat bread.
And we're just like, oh, my God.
I've got things to do today, lady.
She's like, okay, what do you want?
She's like, stop it.
It was so funny.
I felt so bad.
Do you think she, like she knew what she was doing?
Or she just didn't care?
I think she was a 90-year-old.
As we discussed many times, there is a long swath of period of time where Asian women are gorgeous.
And then a switch flips, and they become the old granny Asian lady.
Yeah.
She was the granny.
So she had to be like 95
She probably didn't give a shit
She probably did not care at all
She was like
Stay with me
The problem is I don't
I don't know the rest of the lyrics to that song
Cause every time she sang
That's all she sang
And it's like it haunts my soul
That note has haunted me
What about the person making their sandwich
They just like pause and wait
No we were the only people
It was the three of us
So it was the two of us like oh my god
And the dude in the back who was like dying of laughter
And the woman at the counter couldn't Like she didn't know what to do She kept looking at me and I was like dying of laughter. And the woman at the counter couldn't, like, she didn't know what to do.
She kept looking at me, and I was like, I don't know.
And then the woman's just, the old granny's just like,
I want a turkey sub.
Stay with me.
It was, I don't know the name of that song.
I just know that one line from the song
Maybe if I just look up
Stay With Me
Stay With Me
Oh it literally is
Nope that's Sam Smith that doesn't seem right
Stay With Me song
Stay With Me 80s
Stay With Me 80s song
Oh this sounds like it could be it
Yeah it was it was the Thompson Twins.
Hold Me Now is the name of the song.
Ah.
You have to go about a minute in.
Yeah, about a minute in. He goes, stay with me.
That was what she kept singing.
She would be like, stay
with me.
Stay with me.
It was even, you imagine everyone has been to a church,
mostly everyone, has been to a church or synagogue or wherever,
and they've heard an old woman sing, and she sings loud and proud.
But, like, she's in the opera.
Just like, I want God to hear me.
She's like, stay with me. It's like that. But it was in the opera. Just like, I want God to hear me. She's like, It's like that.
But it was in a subway.
And we were just looking at each other like,
Yep.
Okay.
That's like,
you almost expect her to sing what she wants.
It's like,
But she didn't. Like, wheat bread.
But she didn't.
No, she was like,
I would like stay
with me.
Ma'am, we don't have stay with me
as a form of bread.
I'd like wheat bread, please.
You want footlong or six inches?
She's like,
stay with me.
It was incredible. it was incredible it was incredible oh my god it reminded me i was at the grocery store i was buying this frozen pizza all right it's a good frozen pizza
it's like a pesto pizza by uh the shit's that one pesto pizza is like kashi kashi yeah kashi kashi probably makes a pesto pizza yeah i guess kashi makes a
pesto pizza yeah yeah kashi's good it's not too terrible yeah yeah and so uh we got it and then
this woman at the grocery store the checkout was just like this is a good pizza and i was like yep so i'm buying it and she's like i eat it's my by myself and i
was like oh yeah it's it's good and she's like i can eat the whole pizza my daughter tries to eat
it but i eat it all myself yep yep it's a good pizza i don't i don't feed my daughter
i have her scrounge for leftovers.
And then the thing was like, she wasn't like, oh, yeah, it's a good.
She was like dead, deadpan, no smile.
Like, just like, it's good pizza.
I like it. I was kind of worried that she was going to just take my pizza.
But I was just like, yeah, you know, it's a good pizza.
What if she did?
What if she had just taken your pizza?
What would you have done?
I would have let her take it.
I'd be scared.
I like this pizza.
Okay.
She's just dead set.
She's like, I like this pizza.
I think it's...
Apparently, she doesn't let her daughter eat the pizza.
It's all hers.
I was like, hey, you hey, it's good pizza.
So now every time I order it, I just keep flashing back to that woman being like, it's good pizza.
And I think now I just like it even more because of that.
Oh, I can't even.
So at the grocery store, there's like three or four people that really, really freak me out now.
There is one guy who is sort of an older man who is behind the cash.
I think he might be a manager.
This is the Ralphs that I know you've been to.
We've seen a lot of things at that Ralphs.
That's true.
So one time they have a new yogurt now that comes in like a very frou-frou container.
It's glass.
Kristen at the office gets it, and it's like a French yogurt.
French yogurt?
And I tried it one day, and it was very, very good.
It's probably the least healthy yogurt there is, but it's really good.
And so I had it, and I was like, I need to go buy some of this.
So I went to the grocery store, and I bought some.
And the guy at the counter was like, this appears to be a feminine yogurt.
Are you sure you want this?
And I was like, no, it's not a feminine.
It's just yogurt.
And he's like, I don't know.
Have you actually looked at the packaging?
And I double checked because I was like, maybe this is like with extra estrogen.
I have no idea.
So I looked at it and literally it says French yogurt, extra creamy, and that's like it.
And it was blueberry variety or cherry or whatever the hell it was.
God, you know what?
I wanted the testosterone version.
I'm going to go put it back.
I was like, it looks, it appears to be just yogurt to me.
And he's like, yeah, but the packaging, a little feminine.
I was like, are you judging my yogurt?
And he was like, no judgments, no judgments.
And then I put it away.
And now every time I go in there, the guy gives me a stank eye.
Every time.
Like somehow I'm the reason male masculinity is gone or some shit.
I have no, he gives me the stank eye.
And I'm like, what?
French. I have no, he gives me the steak eye, and I'm like, what? Then, there's another, the Starbucks in the grocery store.
There's a woman in there who every time I, usually there's a group of three or four women who are like, so nice to me.
And they're like, Jesse, oh my God, welcome back, we love you, right?
There's one woman who does not like me.
So one time I walked in, she was on her phone at the cash register.
And I politely, more politely than most people would, waited.
Right?
And she was like, give me one second.
I'm like, okay, it's fine.
I'm in no rush.
And a woman behind me gets in line and she goes, and this lady at the cash register looks up at me and goes i said to me one second i was like i know i heard you and she's like did you hear me did you hear
me and i was like i didn't do it i didn't say anything and the woman behind me is like can you
hurry up please and i was like i'm sorry and she's like so now i have these two women yelling between
me or i'm between these two women yelling and they're just going back and forth, and then this
woman looks at me and goes,
this is your fault, isn't it?
So now I have a woman behind me saying
that I'm weak for not yelling at this woman in the front.
Meanwhile, the woman in front goes, don't tell him
what to do! Don't tell him
what to do! And I was like,
what's happening right now?
What's going on?
And they keep arguing back and forth to each other.
So finally, she takes my order.
I get my coffee.
I leave.
The next day, I come back.
She's there again.
She looks at me and goes,
I can't serve this mother effer,
and walks away.
What?
And I was like, I didn't do anything!
And so one of the other ladies there was like, oh, she's been talking about how you yelled at her for about a day and a half.
I was like, what are you talking about?
I didn't do anything.
I wasn't even involved in that conversation.
Oh, my God.
I was like, no, let me speak to your manager.
And the yogurt guy comes out.
He's like, no, it's this guy.
That's what I'm saying.
Who do I go to? The yogurt manager is like,
well, if it isn't the guy wrecking masculinity for all of us.
I couldn't believe it. I was like, hold
on now. I just want to buy my groceries. I just want to buy
my women's yogurt. Why can't you let
me have my women's yogurt? Why can't you let me have my women's yogurt?
Oh, is it this
French-style
yogurt?
Do you have a picture of it?
Yeah, it's...
Copy
paste.
That's exactly what it is.
It's actually just Yoplait
in a different container.
Absolutely. It's French-style is. It's actually just Yoplait in a different container. Absolutely.
Yeah, but it's French.
It's French style, so it's creamier and thicker.
That's literally it.
They just put butter in it like the French.
I have no clue what they put in it, but it's delicious.
It's like everything with the French.
There's like I had butter cream, and that's it.
It's probably the least healthy yogurt out there,
but it makes for a good dessert thing, right?
It's very, very good.
And I have no problem with it But I guess if you look at it
You can see how a random weird dude
At a grocery store would be like
This is for women
I guess
There's like flowers
Or something on the top of the seal
I have no clue what this guy
But it's supposed to be the plant that the fruit comes on
Yeah I mean it's just like a stylish package
Right
So I guess to him that was too far
So he hates me
And then I have the woman at the Starbucks
Who does not want to serve me
Because I yelled at her but never yelled at her
Not once
See my thing is
I feel like this year in general has just made me more aggro uh just like
getting my gallbladder taken out having to deal with digestion things having my toenails removed
and then i just start going to the gym i've just hit a point where like it's almost like things in
the past where i would have been like now i'm just like what so like for example
all right i was out walking around and uh i was like oh i'm gonna go to uh where was i going i
went to some coffee place i was gonna get a coffee it was like a similar thing but i was in line
and then i was waiting and the person in front of me was like taking a while
and the person behind me they were like and then they turned to me and they're like are you gonna
have a big order and I was like who cares and they just like didn't say anything and like looked away
and normally I would have been like no I guess I'll have a fan and i was just like who cares
like it was like my initial response and i was like shit dude why did i even you're so aggro
yeah oh my god so much testosterone me and my lady yogurt over here the thing was like a year ago
i would i would but i didn't even realize it it was like a subconscious thing like and then after
i did that i was like why did i do that like it was like a subconscious thing. And then after I did that, I was like, why did I do that?
It was like a Hulk reaction to me.
It took over me.
Are you on steroids right now?
I don't know.
But I got retested on my fitness levels.
And remember when I told you about my scores last time?
Where it was like on a scale of 41 to 141.
I was a 42.
Yeah.
What are you now?
I am now a 66.
Whoa, you're so buff.
I know.
I'll just go to the gym.
And then I am like 15 strength points away from hitting average strength.
And on my body, average strength is practically
like elite athlete status.
I'm telling you.
You said that with such
complete and total authority.
I am 15 points away
from average strength.
When you go from like
great grandma strength to like
a buff grandma you're getting somewhere i wouldn't know anything about that i just eat my women's
yogurt all the life there's something else to have oh my god i was driving that's what i was
and then uh i was driving and this one guy, I was, like, going to pull out.
And he, like, pulled in front of me.
And then he looked at me like I did something wrong.
And he was just like, oh.
And I looked at him.
And I was like, what the fuck?
Like, I did that, like, kind of motion to him.
And then he, like, turned away and, like, sped away.
Like, I was a threat to him.
And I was like, shit, dude.
He senses your lion tiger big dick energy he's like
oh no yeah no that's all that working out it's doing it for you i don't know me if i would have
done that he'd be like stick to your yogurt lady i'm telling you this is oh dear this is the buff
door rises chapter one i'm in like my fellowship of the ring then i'm gonna hit my like my second
part of the trilogy
Where I get super buffed out
And then there's the ending
Where I'm in an alley
With steroids all over me
Yeah, the ending doesn't go pretty well for you
Because then it eventually becomes so buff
That when you become un-buff
It just all falls down
I'm telling you
Even when I was in Twitch chat
I started yelling at people in Twitch chat
They were just like
Crendor's dumb
And I'm like I'm dumb because of you
Idiot
Damn
You're so
Oh my god
Maybe you could use some yogurt
I have all this nice women's yogurt
Maybe that's what it was I went from eating yogurt To eating roids Maybe you could use some yogurt. I have all this nice women's yogurt here.
Maybe that's what it was.
I went from eating yogurt to eating roids.
Yeah, maybe that's what it was.
I actually did take steroids to help with my teeth because they were inflamed a few months ago.
What is happening to you?
Why were your teeth?
Well, I had a crown.
And then after they had the crown,
doing all the shots in my jaw and stuff
inflamed my nerves, so they gave me an anti-inflammatory
steroid. So, I mean, I took
an anti-inflammatory
steroid.
I don't think it helped my muscles,
but it did take the jaw pain away.
And then, I mean, that's the only
steroid I've had but you know yes at this point my body might just be producing steroids yeah your
body is making the roids your blood is one-eighth roid right now one-eighth roid dude when i see
you in like a week you can see my muscular growth i I want to be shocked. I want to be like, oh my God, he's so muscular.
How'd that happen?
I think it's more just like I used to have zero muscle and now I actually have a muscle.
Everyone is going to be looking at you like, oh, who is that?
And who is that delightful woman alongside him?
I'll be like, hi, everyone.
I brought yogurt for everybody.
Where's my beer? Oh, I'll get it, hi, everyone. I brought yogurt for everybody.
Where's my beer?
Oh, I'll get it for you, honey.
Yeah.
Great.
Cool.
This is what I've always wanted.
Fantastic.
Well, you know, speaking of health.
Right.
Did you know one of the most important things you can do for your health every day is to brush your teeth?
Yet most of us don't even do that properly.
Oh, my God.
Let me tell you about Quip.
Quip is an electric toothbrush created by dentists, made by designers, who are trying to make teeth brushing so much more simple and affordable and enjoyable for everyone
out there.
The way it works, you turn this bad boy on and you gently brush your gums and your teeth.
And what happens is it has a timer, like a buzzer.
So every 30 seconds it pulses and helps guide you to a full clean.
So like you can do half your bottom mouth and then buzz and then half the other side
of the bottom buzz and then the top and then the other top.
And then you're like, you're taking your time because most people, the way they brush their teeth, they're just like, okay, I'm done.
They go crazy.
Yeah, you're not supposed to do that.
You can actually brush too hard is something you can do.
And I know, here's the trick.
I know every one of us hate going to the dentist.
And I know you also hate going to the dentist where they're like, did you brush for a full two minutes?
And did you use floss and all that?
And you have to sit there and lie to them.
You're like, yes, of course I did.
Now you won't lie because you'll actually be doing it.
Ooh.
Right?
90% of us don't brush for a full two minutes.
And that's the basic bottom tier of what you're supposed to be doing.
Yeah.
Quip is awesome for helping you remember that stuff.
More importantly, it also helps you remember when to get new brushes.
Because dentists recommend that every three months or so, you get a new one.
And they'll just send you another one.
Right?
You're in.
They send you another one for just five bucks.
And the real fact is that most...
Go right now. If you go look at your toothbrush,
your bristles chances are very worn out
and thus ineffective and completely pointless and useless.
Quip is the first electric toothbrush
accepted by the American Dental Association
and has thousands of verified five-star reviews
all over the place.
And that's why Quip is so awesome
and that's why I love it.
So be one of the many people out there who are just starting to that's why Quip is so awesome and that's why I love it. So be one of the many people out
there who are just starting to try
and use Quip and also fall in love
with it as well. Quip starts at $25
and if you go to getquip.com
slash Crendor
right now
you'll get your first refill pack
for free
with a Quip electric toothbrush. That is
G-E-T Q-U-I-P dot C-O-M slash Crandor.
Oh, that's me.
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All right, Crandor.
Let's head to Top 10 of the Sky.
Crandor, Crandor, Crandor.
It's traffic out there.
It's traffic.
What's going on, everybody?
What's going on?
What's going on?
What's going on?
What's going on?
Everybody decided I'd bring Wappy up to the skies.
Wappy?
Wappy activated. Wappy sees traffic down below.
Wappy likes traffic down below.
Many cars driving around.
There is one car. I like that car. It is red.
Volkswagen buggy. Punch buggy. No punch back.
Wappy.
Bop.
Bop.
Ah.
Wappy.
Ah.
Bop.
Bop.
Bop.
Okay.
Back to you.
Thanks, Crennor.
Now let's go over to Crennor at the weather desk.
Hey, what's going on?
Wappy's not here.
He's up in the sky, so it's just me today.
Right.
Of course.
Right.
Right.
Hey, we've got some weather going on.
I wanted to mention it's El Nino.
You hear about that?
Oh, it's El Nino season? Of course it is.
It's El Nino, which means if you are in my area,
it's going to be dry and warmer, which is great for the winter.
I'll take it.
No snow and warm.
And then the rest of the Northwest is also going to be warmer. It looks like if you are where you are in Southern California or any southwestern part, it's going to be wet.
Yeah, last night there was fog everywhere in the city.
I was driving home and it was really late and it was foggy as hell.
I couldn't see.
It was great.
Shit, dude.
Yes, it's going to be wet. It's probably foggy.
Probably rainy. You're going to have some
little bit of different weather out there.
And then the south is going to be...
It's not going to be dry as hell.
You'll probably get like one
light rain day a week now. It'll be crazy.
Not even... Maybe a month.
Maybe a month. Well,
it's going to be cool in the south.
Very cool, apparently.
Cooler than usual for Texas and Louisiana and Georgia and Florida or all those places.
So that's going to be the El Nino season.
So that should be fun.
But in terms of weather weather, let's head on over to 2, 4, 6, 8, 5.
There's nothing with that.
All right.
About 8, 4, 6, 2, 5.
Nothing with that.
8, 4, 6, 2, 3.
Chester.
Where's Chester?
Chester, Utah.
I still have the same question. You might have specified the state, Utah. I still have the same question.
You might have specified the state, but I still have the exact same question.
Well, obviously, it's right next to Grand Junction.
Oh, of course.
Yeah, of course.
57 degrees in Chester, Utah.
Feels like 57.
High, nothing.
Low, 42 degrees.
UV index, zero.
Let's check out the Ted Day.
High, Nothing.
64, 50,
48, 50, 58,
56, 54, 55, 58,
54, 52, 50, 44, 45.
So pretty like mild to mild
cold temperatures. Not too bad.
It's like good
going outside doing some stuff weather
but then going
at nighttime you know i'm saying oh wait there's provo utah i don't even know what utah looks like
let's see there's provo then there i don't even know what utah salt lake city and then ogden
and then logan dude all the utah cities are like in one little area i never knew that and then
there's like some other ones down here.
Wowee, I didn't know.
I never knew that. It's like, dude, it's like a
Pokemon town.
Like, look at this.
Salt Lake City and Provo, they're kind of like
Pokemon towns where it looks like you just follow the
road by the mountains and the lake and you get
there and it's like, oh, there's Pokemon out
there. Well, I feel like that has to do with
like the Mormon church, right? Mormons notorious for Pokemon for pokemon addiction yeah that's very true i've heard it
that's what i've heard that's what i've heard straight from the youtube mormons yeah the
youtube conspiracy theory threads uh but yeah you know it's uh 57 degrees there. It's not too bad.
So, hey, that's weather.
All right, and what's going on in sports?
Sports.
A lot of sports going on.
Basketball's happening.
Baseball, World Series, Red Sox are one win away from beating the Dodgers,
and they're up 2-1 in the fourth inning right now.
It's not looking good for the Dodgers.
Football, a lot of football happened, but the main thing,
Packers lost to the Rams,
which was an extremely disappointing game that made me want to go insane.
That's not disappointing.
What is disappointing is the Steelers didn't beat the Browns
by as many as I expected them to.
Well, it's 33-18.
It's still-18.
It's still not bad.
At least, you know, you're going up against the 7-0 Rams,
and you're only down two points with two minutes to go.
You're going to give Aaron Rodgers the ball.
But, oh, Ty Montgomery got it.
Oh, he fumbled it.
And you lose.
Great.
Ah!
Yep.
That was fun.
Yep.
Thanks, Ty Montgomery. Please cut him. And that's sports. Damn was fun. Yep. Thanks, Ty Montgomery.
Please cut him.
And that's sports.
Damn.
Damn.
All right. That's the game.
So mad.
Well, what is our big news story of the day?
Oh, you want a big news story?
I got you a big news story.
Oh, no.
Okay.
The McRib is back at McDonald's.
Here's what's actually in it from Yahoo.
Okay.
They've updated it, but I want to see if it's got the same things as it did years ago.
The McRib is back on McDonald's menus after a year-long absence.
While it has a cult following, most people don't know it's actually in the sandwich.
Here's the breakdown of the McRib's ingredients and nutritional information.
The enthusiasm behind the sandwich partly stems from the fact that McDonald's tends to bring back the sandwich once a year.
But as the Wall Street Journal reports, the McRib stays on the menu only for a few weeks.
It was last available in November of last year and originally started in 1981.
In the past, super fans
have done things... 1981?
Yep, 81. Wow.
I had no clue. I thought it was
in the 90s.
Because I remember in the 90s when it happened,
right? Like, everyone was like, the McRib!
Yeah, I think it blew up in the 90s.
I guess. I think that was its main
thing.
Let's see. If you've ever... If you've never had a McRib before
Or have been gleefully eating the sandwich
Without knowing exactly what's in it
Here's what you need to know about the McRib
What's the McRib made out of?
The McRib's informational page
On the McDonald's site was down
Maybe there were too many eager fans
So a McDonald's rep sent
Men'sHealth.com screen grabs of nutritional information
You can see the full ingredient breakdown here A McDonald's rep sent menshealth.com screen grabs of nutritional information.
You can see the full ingredient breakdown here.
And it's just like a bunch of shit.
Like, it's McDonald's, all right?
You got your water, your fructose corn syrup, your tomato paste, your smoke flavor, your food starch.
Like, none of this is like crazy stuff, okay?
As for nutritional information, 480 calories, 24 grams of protein.
Hey, protein.
45 grams of carbs.
You need that a lot.
900 milligrams of sodium.
So a lot of sodium.
And look at this.
It's got some sugars, some cholesterol.
It's got some vitamin A.
It's got some iron, some calcium.
When it comes to calories, McRib is pretty on par with other McDonald's menu items.
Like the Big Mac's 540
calories, Filet-O-Fish 390.
With 45 grams of carbohydrates,
McRib isn't going to jive with your
keto diet, but overall, it's certainly
not among the worst fast food meals
you could eat. If you really want a healthy
meal next time you hit up a chain,
check out our guide to the healthiest fast food options in America.
Nobody cares about that.
Nobody cares about that.
Nobody cares about that.
Does it still have styrofoam or whatever the hell was in it?
They don't even say.
So you know what?
I don't think it does.
I think they probably removed the styrofoam.
And I think we've got a lot healthier of a McRib.
I don't know that I believe this.
I'm looking this up this website
this website says that uh it it has prop propyl gai light i love propyl gai light it induces
stomach hype hyplasia and cytotoxicity. I love stomach hyplasia.
It's my favorite kind.
Ingredients for the McRib sauce.
Number one, water.
Two, high fructose corn syrup.
High fructose?
Not just fructose.
High fructose.
Tomato paste, distilled vinegar, molasses, smoke flavor, and then beet powder. beet powder oh beets that's perfect for you
hey beets look at that uh let's see polysorbate 80 uh let's see why should i avoid it
uh let's see our daily lives see us exposed to toxins we breathe them in polluted air
modern life's largely toxic yada yada what is it it's a
lesser known synthetic compound uh it is an amber golden colored vicious liquid vice this vicious
is made from polythexylated sorbitan and olec facid acid what. What does it do? It is used as an emulsifier or defoamer
in foods, vitamins, medicines, and vaccines.
It is used as a defoamer for the fermenting process
of some wines and also to bind some ice cream
and other puddings to keep their creamy texture
without separating.
This website that I was looking at
to get me information on the weird-ass things that's in it
is also a website that, as you scroll through and look at the ingredients, it has an entire paragraph on
wheat and soy and how that is what you should really be worried about in this.
Meanwhile, it has monocalcium phosphate, guar gum, calcium peroxide, calcium proponate,
all sorts of crazy shit, but it has wheat and soy, so watch out for that.
Also, this is a website that on the side there's a picture of madonna and a picture of satan and it says
how some of the world's elite use black magic rituals to conjure up entities for more power
so yeah i feel like this wasn't the best site to go visit here's the thing like can this probably
be bad for you yeah if you like you know have it every day or drink like a whole glass of it or some shit like it's just in a pickle like come on your body can handle it yeah a mcrib is something you should not be eating all
the time in fact you probably shouldn't eat it more than once a year but if you do eat it more
than once a year make it mccox and crendor exactly now's the time you can do it it's back
it's back it's time well it's like we said with the other McDonald's menu episode.
It's like they don't have the jalapeno cheeseburger anymore, right?
They do not.
Not that I'm aware of.
But you can get a McDouble and put it on there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then, yeah, get a McDouble and put it on there.
Yep.
There you go.
Or even a McChicken.
Oh, my god. If you get a
McChicken
that has to be a
McCockadoodle Crendor.
The McCockadoodle Crendor.
Yeah, the McCockadoodle Crendor
is the chicken sandwich version.
The McOxadoodle Crendor.
Very nice. Much better than mine.
That is the McChicken version.
And then if you put fish on it
It's a McCod and Crendor
McCod and Crendor
Oh my god, that's genius
Yep, so that's the fish, the chicken
The double burger
If you put the entire contents of a Happy Meal
A McCid and Crendor
Wait, the double burger
It's the McCow and Crendor No, that still has to be McCox and Crendor Yeah the double burger is the mccow and crendor no that still has to be mccox
and crendor yeah but i like the mccow god damn it listen all i'm saying is those are some top
quality things just put shit on the mcrib and tweet us pictures of it yeah just send us pictures
of things the more stuff you can fit on a mcrib and prove that you've eaten it we will like that
more yeah if you put like 20 different items on it, oh my god.
Oh my god, did you see that I trolled McDonald's on, let's see, I think it was like Monday or Tuesday.
I was like, if I win the Powerball on Twitter, I'm buying 1.3 billion people a McChicken.
Then McDonald's said, 1.3 billion new friends
are a great investment.
To which I replied
I said I'd buy 1.3
billion people a McChicken.
That means a single McChicken.
They'll have to share.
You got them.
You got them.
I trolled and destroyed
McDonald's in that one tweet. They didn't even like that tweet. They didn't even reply. You really got them. I trolled and destroyed McDonald's in that one tweet.
They didn't even like that tweet.
They didn't even reply.
You really got them.
I got them.
You really got them.
I mean, come on.
I'm not going to buy all those people a McChicken.
Yeah, there's no way they'll reply to your stuff now because you got them.
Well, yeah.
Now they don't even follow me.
Yeah.
Hey, that's all right.
We can still use their food for our menu.
They could have followed you if you had just, like, you know, tried.
No, no, no, no.
I don't do that.
I feel like that was an excellent news story, and we don't need another one.
So we'll wrap it up there.
Thank you so much for listening.
Crandor, hit up the socials.
We got twitter.com slash Crandor.
See my crazy tweets at McDonald's.
We got twitter.com slash Jesse Cox.
See his crazy tweets at just his tweets in general.
We got youtube.com slash Jesse Cox.
Youtube.com slash Crandor.
Youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor.
If you want to see some animations of the podcast.
Youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast.
All run word.
If you want to subscribe on YouTube to these podcasts and watch them there.
Or soundcloud.com slash Cox and Crandor if you want to hear them on SoundCloud.
Or I think we're on iTunes.
We're like on some top list of iTunes podcasts now.
That's pretty neat.
And then we're probably some other places too.
Just put Cox and Crandor in some place and you'll probably find us.
Also, Twitch, Twitch TV, Crandor, Twitch TV, you'll probably find us. Also, Twitch,
Twitch TV, Crendor, Twitch TV,
Jessica Cox, I don't know, just put our names in too.
You're really doing everything, huh? Go buy a McRib.
Go buy me some Ooyah.
Ooyah, put some Ooyah on your
McRib.
Go buy some Ooyah, put it on your McRib,
then become a woman like me.
According to that delightful manager.
Well, you put it on the McRib.
Well, that's different.
Now you're a man.
Man, man, man.
All right.
Well, that's it for us.
Thank you so much for listening, watching, or whatever you're doing right now.
But we'll see you guys next time. So as always, to be continued.