Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 183 - Bat Girl and Kindness
Episode Date: February 11, 2019The boys are back and this time they've brought with them two new super heroes! We're still work-shopping the names. Also Crendor and Jesse maybe become Buddhist while snow covers the north west. All ...this and more on this exciting new episode of Cox n' Crendor! Get 25% off a Calm Premium subscriptino at http://calm.com/cox Get $100 of free delivery credit by downloading the Postmates app and use promo code: CRENDOR
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Hello, everybody! It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! Hello everybody, welcome back to another exciting episode of Cocks and Crenn Dolls Chris, I'll be back next Wednesday in the morning. Poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo.
We're going to the party.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome back to another exciting episode of Cox and Gretel in the morning.
Hey.
Oh, little doggie.
Whoa.
I thought you were going to break into a song like, little doggie.
Well, a little bit.
It's like that.
It's like, come along, little doggie.
Isn't that a song?
I remember that like as a kid, right?
Maybe.
Isn't that like a kid's song or something?
I swear, I probably heard it.
Come along, little doggie.
Feels like not something you should sing to kids.
I swear, I heard it as a kid on like Barney or some shit.
Come along, little doggie.
Come along, little doggies.
Is that it?
Roy Rogers, get along, little doggies. Is that it? Roy Rogers, get along, little doggies.
That's it.
All right.
That sounds like you're in the Wild West and you're trying to rope up some cow or something.
But saying come along, little doggies, creepy.
Very creepy.
Not at all cool.
It's like a bunch of dogs are sitting.
You're like, come along, little doggies.
They're just like, yo, what the shit is this dude trying to do what are you doing bro we are not gonna move we're sitting
right here yeah get along is more just like hey we're having a hoedown like yeah that's still the
same thing like hey move it but it's like get along little doggy like i'm making you move instead of like come on doggies come over here it's creepy creepy dude i was
having so i had like two deep thoughts all right i wanted to bring up oh man okay yeah right at the
start here all right right at the start one is i was just thinking about this cat was like sitting
on the desk and i was just looking at him i like i technically own this cat and then i was
like but what if there is like a crazy being in our outside our universe controlling us
and that's just it i was just like we're like the cats and they have like favorite cats that they
have like you know they're like hey that cat's gonna make money in their life like oh shit that
cat i don't like that cat he's gonna work at uh their life. I'm like, oh, shit, that cat, I don't like that cat. He's going to work at McDonald's for like 50 years.
Isn't that how God works?
That's what I'm saying.
Isn't that the premise of religion?
Well, some religions, because there's religions where there's predestination,
like God knows everything or God ordains you.
What is that, like prosperity religion thing where it's like,
God, the reason why I need this G6 plane
is because the Lord said
I should have one to go preach the gospel.
Isn't that the whole point of that?
Well, yes, but at the same time,
I feel like it's on a grander scale.
Like they created us just so they could do this
and have fun.
Like we don't know.
That was just blowing my mind
because I was sitting there thinking that
and I was just like, I could be a cat. Yeah cat yeah no i've always said i was a cat we've
talked about this before yeah i've always said i was a cat that's true uh it's i don't know it was
just it was on my mind yesterday and it was just because i looked at cat and i was like wow that
could be a thing um okay yeah and then And number two. Playing League of Legends.
Number two was just, like, the amount of generalizations that people make, like, constantly.
Like, for example, when people are just like, I can't stand the YouTube comments.
Usually it's just one person.
And that's what I realized.
Most of the time they're just just like I hate YouTube comments it's always just one person that just stands out because it's
like obviously you scroll through and everyone's like hey I like this thing
this was great good then then you go down and there's just one at the bottom
and they're just like I hate Jesse and then you just it just hits you and
you're just like why do they hate me why was that that why did they feel the
need to comment that was it's it it just like floods your brain and then you'll go to twitter and just be
like i just can't read youtube comments everyone's like it's okay man and then that same guy's on
twitter and he's just like yeah you wouldn't be able to read it idiot i don't know it's the
hyper focused generalization and i just realized that and i was like whoa it's one of those things
where you could have a lot of positivity in your life
But if someone's negative towards you
In human nature, we have to understand
Why someone dislikes us
It's not that we care
It's like if I go onto a video
And I see the very first thing is a dislike
My initial reaction is
Wait, why did you come on here
Just so you could be the first person to dislike
it?
You must have, you must not only follow me, but have it so immediately you can show up
to a new video.
Yeah.
It can even be a bot.
Yeah.
And it's like, okay, so it's, you hate me that much that you just want to like make
sure I know, but I don't know.
It's one of those crazy things where I don't understand it and I could never understand
it because I can never understand it.
Because I could never put that much time into hating something.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I don't get it either.
But with that said, when it comes to generalizations, when I taught, we always used to have a saying in our school that was like,
If the shoe don't fit, you don't have to wear it.
So if the principal ever yelled at the student body, or if anything ever happened,
usually one or two students would be the exact same thing
as YouTube or whatever, and they'd just be like,
that's not me! I wasn't involved!
I didn't do it! And of
course someone would have to be like, yo, if the shoe
don't fit, you don't have to wear it! We're not
saying it's you. We're speaking generally
to the student body, so everyone's aware of the situation,
and we can also
address the people who did this
without singling them out.
That's it. That's it. We're not saying the people
who didn't do this did this. Calm down.
Yeah. Sometimes you just have to
people take stuff
way too personally. I
know. So do I. But you have to be
like, no. No. This ain't about
you. Exactly. And that
was my other deep thought so yeah that's a good
that's a very i mean those are two deep thoughts those are two thoughts i was saying i would listen
you get like i get probably like one or two deep thoughts a day but i remembered these ones i was
like oh yeah i need some deep thoughts to talk about so i brought i brought them uh to the table
and i brought them to the table and i'm very you to the table. And I'm very, you know what?
These were good ones today.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
These weren't like that other gibberish where you're like,
what if space was really in your underwear?
It isn't a weird one like that.
But what if?
No.
No.
No.
Yeah.
So that was pretty good.
I don't know.
What else happened aside from deep thoughts this week?
Let's see.
Weather got warmer.
It wasn't like negative 100 out, so that was nice.
It's still snow.
Here's the thing.
When it snows but it's not windy, it actually feels pretty warm outside.
That's one thing I noticed.
I was just walking around in the snow, and I'm like, hey, it feels pretty
good. I wasn't freezing.
It feels good when
there's no wind. Yeah, it's that wind chill.
It's the old wind chill.
And you got rain. Oh my god.
Today,
it's been raining for the last two weeks.
Almost non-stop. It's crazy.
It's good for LA because we're
always burning down.
But it's like a weird, it rains very, very light and then stops.
And then massive thunderstorm stops.
And then you're like, okay, I guess I can go out today.
Massive thunderstorm.
It's insane.
The weather keeps going in and out and in and out.
So today we woke up early.
Me and the boys woke up early.
We went to a place that I think you would love called Hayden.
And it is, how do I, it's sort of like a seafood bar slash brunch place.
Ooh.
And we went there.
We got some delicious food And drank way too much wine
And like chilled out
And it was beautiful
It was a beautiful day
We sat around, talked with the owner
This lovely little Asian woman who's just the best in the world
And we were talking about natural wines
Which I guess are a thing that I should be into
And we were just doing the whole thing
It was a wonderful morning, wonderful
And then we got suckered into going
to a flea market.
We were like, yeah, of course, let's go
to this flea market. It's going to be amazing.
We're all wine drunk. This will be great.
We were looking for a stand
for a record player. It was one of those things
like, this is our mission. We're going to find
this. The minute we get there, it
starts pouring down rain. Just
pouring down rain. Just pouring
down rain to the point where everyone
doesn't know what to do because no one has umbrellas.
So there's just
people in their
LA finest looking
amazing covered in
water. Everyone is so gross
looking. There's this one girl.
I watched her go from completely
made up, looking phenomenal
to within five minutes,
drenched, her makeup smeared.
She looked like, I don't know,
like a horror movie, like the Ringu girl.
It was crazy.
Everyone looked a mess. The entire
city was crazy today. I loved it.
I was like, I
miss being out in the rain. It was
nice and warm. It wasn't like a cold rain.
I missed just I was in it.
I was just getting drenched and like living in the moment.
It felt great.
I had a whole great day today.
It was wonderful.
Yeah, I love the rain.
Rain's like my favorite thing when it's like a nice maybe like 50 degrees and rain.
That's like one of my favorite weathers and that's like nice and foggy out too.
Yeah, it was so good.
Everyone was running for cover and I was just like ready to do a little dance.
I was so, you don't really truly appreciate just how cleansing a rain can be.
You're just like, oh, oh, rain, take me away.
Oh, so cool.
And we found the thing we were looking for.
So everything worked out. It was great. Dang. Also, I was wine drunk. So like, so cool. And we found the thing we were looking for. So everything worked out.
It was great.
Dang.
Also, I was wine drunk.
So like, you know.
Yeah.
The rain, it wasn't really the cleansing nature of the rain.
It was more just like, I'm fine, guys.
I'm going to go look at these records.
I'm fine.
This is great.
By the way, we all had an epiphany.
So this flea market was in Hollywood.
We went up there.
We were walking around.
And we were like, why is everyone here so beautiful?
And then we realized, oh, we're in Hollywood.
The minute you start to get outside of Hollywood, it becomes a little more normal.
But when we were there, we were just like, everyone here is gorgeous.
Oh, my God.
The shop owners are attractive.
All the people shopping are attractive.
Everyone, like, the valet guy is attractive. is beautiful yeah that's always weird they're like dressed up all fancy
even though it's just a flea market meanwhile i didn't care i was out in the rain getting
soaking wet living my life what kind of wine was it um it was two bottles of it's natural wine
i don't know what that means exactly I assume they
don't make it with phosphates question mark oh yeah those things the bottom of
the wine kind of looks like a Snapple you know like Snapple has that goop at
the bottom yeah it's kind of like that so it's natural wines and it's not meant
to be like crystal clear what does a phosphate even do like I know they're
like these phosphates they give you a headache sometimes they do stuff but like are they actually bad for you
that's a great that's a great question let's learn together phosphates no sulfites
added sulfites may sometimes cause negative side effects like nasal congestion itchy throat
runny nose skin rash hives and some people. It's been reported in medical literature less than 1% of the population have allergic reaction to sulfites.
How bad
are sulfites? Naturally
occurring compounds that plants
produce to protect themselves from
microbial infection. In winemaking,
sulfur dioxide
is also released during fermentation, and
traditionally winemakers add extra sulfur to
wine to preserve freshness and prevent
spoiling. Okay, yeah.
So natural wine is farmed organically without adding or removing anything in the cellar.
No additives or processing aids are used.
And intervention in the naturally occurring fermentation process is kept to a minimum.
So basically, it's like old school winemaking.
Like really old school.
Many other compounds in wine such as histamines and tannins are more likely connected to headaches.
Shit, dude.
Also, when you think about this, I've seen a lot of commercials lately for natural beers.
When I was in Canada, I had a natural beer I loved.
It tasted great.
But then it hit me, again, much like when Subway was like, we're going to use natural hormone-free chicken.
You're like, wait a minute, time out.
Or when they were like, we're going to use real bread.
It's like, what the hell were you serving me before?
I know, right?
I thought that too.
I thought wine was fermented grape mashings or whatever.
I assumed everything was on the up and up.
And they're like, no, no, this is natural wine.
But you've been drinking. You're like, wait, no, this is natural wine, but you've been drinking.
You're like, wait, what?
What do you mean, what I've been drinking?
Yeah, it's like every brand of thing.
Like, you eat chips, you eat, like, bread, you eat all this stuff.
They're just like, no, I made it with real stuff.
And I'm like, wait a second.
Right?
What was I eating before?
Hold on.
Oh, yeah, just forget about that.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
You're fine.
What you ate before, you're fine.
Like, what?
No! Don't worry, don't worry, you're fine. What you ate before, you're fine. Like, no!
Another surprising fact is that wine contains about 10 times less sulfites than most dried fruits,
which can have levels up to 1,000 ppm.
I don't even know what a ppm is, but that sounds like a lot.
Parts per million, maybe.
I don't know, sure.
It sounds like when they talk about bugs in jelly right yeah there's like a certain limit like so many parts per million you can have so many bug parts in your jelly
it's true everyone out there who loves jelly with their toast there's probably a bug
part in there somewhere probably is it's extra protein
look they ain't bad for you yeah sulf. Sulfites are inherently unnatural. That's another
myth. Apart from the potential allergic reaction, many people are against sulfites because they feel
they are an unnatural addition when making wine. While that view is valid, it is important to
remember that sulfites are also a natural byproduct of the yeast metabolism during fermentation. So
even if you do not add any additional SO2, your wine will still contain sulfites. So it's like no additional sulfites.
It already has it in it, though.
Hmm.
Huh.
Wow.
I learned about wine.
I went to this,
I found a Vogue article called
Is Natural Wine Really Better For You?
The image is just a girl
who is essentially half naked
sitting at a window drinking wine,
which it says image credit, Instagram.com, girl who is essentially half naked, sitting at a window drinking wine, which
it says image credit, instagram.com
and then it has this person's
Instagram, but I don't know why that's
on Vogue. God bless, I suppose.
Congrats on making it.
Essentially, natural wines
are not filtered, which is why they have a cloudy
look. Yeah, I get that. They don't
have pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, or fertilizers added to the grape growing process.
And little or no traces of sulfur dioxide, preservatives, acids, enzymes, or tannins
are added to the finished product. So it's basically like basic, basic winemaking.
It's like an organic wine. That's all it is.
Right. But shouldn't that have been at the
entire time i'm so confused i'm so i thought that's what i was drinking before i don't know
dude i just know that i'll drink wine if it's there yeah yeah i think that's my problem is i
don't ever say you know what i could use a glass of wine i've never said that actually but if it's
there and present i'll drink it maybe that's a problem i've never been like you know what i could use a glass of wine i've never said that actually but if it's there and present i'll drink it maybe that's a problem i've never been like you know what i could go for a
nice cabernet right no i'm never but if it's there at the table i'm like i'm in i could use for a
good glass of cabernet i know you've said that that's because you're lush but i don't i'm not
like a big i need a drink to drink drinker yeah but if it's present, I'm in. If I'm around it, I'll just be like, yeah, okay, let's do this.
But at home, I'm not like, you know what?
Before I go to bed, I'll have a little nightcap.
Never happens.
Just doesn't happen.
What's your, well, actually, when you drink alcohol before sleeping,
like even a few hours, it like disrupts your sleep cycle.
Like you can't enter REM sleep when you have alcohol in your body.
I don't drink at home, period.
Unless it's for a goof on a stream.
I just don't.
You're like a social drinker.
Very much so.
To my own detriment.
Because everyone knows like,
do you want a drink?
And I'm like, alright, you've talked me into it.
Now, what type of wine are you looking for?
You like white?
You like red?
You like a rosé?
You like a champagne?
I like a nice rosé.
And then you have to be like still or sparkling.
Well, which one do you like?
I could do both, frankly.
Personally, I'm a red wine person.
I do like Cabernet.
Cabernet is very oaky.
I like a barrel oaky tasting wine.
I want to taste that barrel when I drink the wine.
is very oaky. I like a barrel oaky tasting wine. I want to taste that barrel
when I drink the wine.
Today, one of the wines we had,
Alex was like, oh, you guys should try this.
It tastes like when you open a pickle jar
for the first time. We were like,
what? And then we tasted it.
It really did. It had the
exact same vibe of when you're
like, oh, I'm going to open this pickle jar
and pick out a pickle for the first time.
The scent, the smell, it didn't taste like a pickle jar but for some reason you put it up to
your nose and like this is a pickle jar he was right on the money it was perfect well hey everybody
in the comments if you uh what's your favorite wine if you're old enough to drink which most
people listening are they've been listening to us since they're like younger now they're older
uh and what's like another good oaky wine that isn't a cabernet i know there's other ones but i don't
know that's the only one i know that does taste like that so give your give your suggestions when
you come out we have to take you this place and you can uh experience our weird wines that we find
they're great uh hell yeah oh my god you remember we went to that douchey uh jp dinner yes and we had that was the
douchiest and the best that was so good those are my favorites douchey dinners and then we had that
wine that had like motor oil in it i was like this wine tastes like gasoline and they're like yeah
because it has petrols that broke down the fruit and i was like what the shit yeah no we definitely
were slowly killing ourselves that night.
It probably destroyed my digestive system.
That was the night.
It slowly broke you down, too, is what you're saying.
Yeah, it slowly broke me down.
Oh, my God.
That reminded me of just being in a good mood, and I realized that clothing affects my mood.
All right.
Well, yeah, everyone says that.
What you wear, how you look on the outside affects you, man.
Yeah, but it's like, I realized it even more so for just like cleaning.
Like if I have like a bulky sweatshirt on, I'm more likely to just like lay around.
Just want to like play games, like chill out.
But like, I was like, you know what?
I'm going to put on like my, my like athletic yoga shirt thing. And I did. And I was like, dude, I want I'm going to put on my athletic yoga shirt thing.
And I did.
And I was like, dude, I want to clean.
And I just clean stuff.
And I'm like, I'm going to exercise.
It just motivates you.
And I'm like, dude, I'm just going to do this all the time.
Everyone always says that about work, right?
They always say that about work, like dress for the job you want.
I feel like that just should be everything in life, not just job.
Like dress for the day you want.
Yeah.
Like how you want your day to go, dress the way you want the day to go if you're gonna be at home doing nothing and you're like eff it put those sweats on wear that dirty old t-shirt you're
gonna lie around you're setting yourself up to lie around but if you put on something nice you're
not gonna sit at home you're gonna want to be like yo i'm outside let's do something that's you gotta
psych up your brain you gotta psych it up that's why i think i always wear that when i like go
work out so by doing that my brain's like we're going to work out so it gives me energy and i'm
like dude i gotta do stuff and then you just do stuff yes mind games with yourself oh
that's crazy dude oh my god that's like cleaning That's like when you clean up your space
It makes your brain just feel
More fresh or like reviling
There's something about order
I know people when they get comfortable
Oh this is my mess
I like this the way I like this
But I'm telling you the more I get rid of stuff
The more I clean up my life
And just have empty spaces
There's places in my apartment with nothing.
And it feels good.
I look at it and I'm like, I could walk through this area and not have to dodge a table or a chair.
And it's so nice to just freely not have to worry about stuff and not feel like, I wonder where I put that.
Oh, that's right.
I gave that away to the homeless because someone out there could use it more than me.
That's where I'm at.
I'm constantly just giving something.
There's going to be a little kid out there.
This toy this company sent me, it's very sweet.
It probably will one day remind me of a time when I was popular on the internet when I'm old.
You know what?
I'm giving this away because there's a kid out there who probably will actually play with this now
instead of me holding on to it.
Like, one day this action figure is going to be worth something.
No, there's a kid out there who would love it.
And so I'm just like, here, take it.
You would enjoy this.
Have you watched the Netflix Marie Kondo thing?
Yes, I love her.
I do too. It's great.
I've went through stuff and I was just like, does this thing spark joy?
Oh no, maybe a little bit.
And then I'm like, Hey, you know what?
Get out of here.
Just throw it.
I'm telling you.
Thank you for being there.
But now I'm throwing you across the room into the trash.
The messiest place of my life is the office I work out of because it's filled with stuff
that I'm just like, I may need that when I do a thing one day or I may need this thing yeah but at home oh man at home I
am just clean boys I am just getting rid of stuff because I can and it's so good it's so I'm like
you know what no I'm not gonna touch this no I'm not gonna use this it's like she goes through all
the people's houses they always have like a billion clothes or like christmas decorations i realized my thing is
i just have random computer wires and parts and stuff and i'm just like why do i have this i'm
not gonna use it like why am i like what if something breaks i'm like i only need like one
or two things if something breaks it's like you know what i can just get rid of this well it's
always that mentality of just in case i'll need this just in case if this happens.
But at the end of the day, most times it doesn't happen.
Like when you buy stuff, man, I think I'm on like, is this like a Buddha thing, Crendor?
Are we becoming modern day Buddhas?
I think so. But I still have too much cynicism for that No I think
For example like sparking joy
Should be like thank an item
After you realize it doesn't spark joy anymore
But like am I really going to thank my Starbucks cup
For holding my coffee
Yeah be like hey thanks for not spilling on me Starbucks cup
Yeah but at the same time
Like it did what it's supposed to do
Why do I have to thank it for that
I feel like I don't want to thank every single thing.
Like, thank you, spoon, for letting me eat my food.
Thank you, food, for being edible and not poisoned.
Thank you, monitor.
Like, do I have to thank my computer monitor
every time I go watch the monitor?
Like, what's the rate at which I have to thank things?
I think you said that you're pessimistic
and you're not really like Buddha,
but there are four noble truths, right, in Buddhism.
The first one literally is life is suffering.
All right.
The whole point of life is suffering.
That sounds like a crendor.
That does sound like a crendor.
Because you were like, I'm kind of pessimistic.
People literally think Buddhism may be too pessimistic for some.
Like, the whole point is that life is suffering.
And the second truth is that the suffering is caused by your craving and all your desires to have things and the things you want and all the wanting in your life.
And the third truth is you can overcome the suffering by realizing that all the stuff you want doesn't even matter.
And that's how you become free.
And then the fourth truth is this whole like
eight noble path thing which is i'm not going to get into that but it's it's literally rules on how
you can make yourself better but yeah that's the whole point of buddhism is like stuff makes you
worse but there are some things that make things better true which is why i'm not buddhist which
is why i'll never be buddhist because some things make my life infinitely better this is where he
does yeah i was good i was gonna do the ad okay speaking of things because some things make my life infinitely better. This is where he's just saying. Yeah.
I was going to do that.
Okay.
Speaking of things that are going to make your life better, let's talk about calm.
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Join a gym or eat better.
All that stuff.
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Also, while we're on the spiritual realm, we probably can't find any food,
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Let me tell you, who other than your best friends is going to bring you red wine at 4 p.m.
Crandor.
I don't know.
I don't even think they would do that.
Yeah.
Who's going to bring me a breakfast burrito at 8 a.m.?
I don't know.
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Yeah, all right.
They will now.
Better do it or else I might. You better. Oh, no the basket again politely
Yeah, we will ask you one more time
Please all right credit. Let's go jump. You have something down. Oh
Wow, that was actually a very coherent fast-paced thing is like auctioneer quality
Yeah, no problem. Hey, it's uh pretty nice up here it's uh
but down there it's not so nice it's raining over there it's uh snowing over here it's cold over
there it's warm over there i don't know what's going on down there but either way uh stay safe
on those roads drive slow get an ice scraper if you need one get some windshield wipers if you
gotta wipe those windshields get some uh uh the door uh stuff to
make your door not freeze fun story i my my car door wouldn't lock and so i had to like uh try to
get it to lock and then for some reason it locked but it stayed locked and wouldn't open and then
the next day it was fine it's like it was just too cold or something and now it's fine oh no that
works i looked online and they're like it might be the grease or something was fine. It's like it was just too cold or something. And now it's fine. Oh, no, that works. I looked online and they're like, oh, it might be the grease or something.
Oh, no.
And they're like, put some stuff or take that.
It works now.
It's fine.
So, yeah, just stay warm and dry unless you like it.
The other.
Oh, no.
Just keep doing what you're doing.
Back to you.
Thanks, Grendor.
You know, actually,
it's the rubber in the parts
of your door. It freezes and expands
and gets all messed up. So you're supposed to
do a whole thing with that. I didn't know that.
Yeah, I learned. I'm learning.
It's about all that. It's not the
door itself. It's all the pieces in
between. So what do you do with the rubber?
I believe there's like a solution
you put on it that makes it like viscous or something
like that.
Let's go buy it at Target or something.
I don't know. Somebody will have it. I'm sure it exists
at your door. Yeah, it isn't the fact that your door
gets stuck. It's that everything else
like warps. Yeah.
So I had to like NASCAR in the other
door. Like climb across.
But then it was fine.
Well, speaking of weather,
let's go to the weather desk.
Grab your house,
let's go to the weather desk.
Weather!
Yep.
Welcome to the weather desk.
Let's see.
Big news story on the weather.
Nearly a year's worth of snow in one day
in a major U.S. city.
What is that, Seattle?
Let's see.
West awakes to another day of closed roads canceled flights
power outages uh people pacific northwest yeah sounds like it yeah it looks like uh wow yeah
they're getting a lot of snow over there mama mia well how much snow let me see
well considering it's been raining so much here One would imagine we're getting
The same thing they got but it's just cold there
So they got snow
So it's been pouring here
So I can only imagine what that looks like in snow
Yeah
Let's see
They're still getting more snow
You know let's just go to Seattle
Alright
Seattle we go
Washington Whoppy hit him with the thing Seattle. All right. Screw it. Seattle, we go. Seattle, Washington.
Beep.
Woppy, hit him with the thing.
Seattle, Washington.
Woppy activated.
33 degrees.
Snow feels like 23 degrees.
High, low, 23 degrees.
Tonight, snow this evening will give way to lingering snow showers late low 23 degrees
fahrenheit winds south southwest at 10 to 20 miles per hour becoming east northeast and decreasing
to 10 to 5 miles per hour chance of snow 100 percent three to five inches of snow expected
snow showers early with steady or snow developing late in the day.
Eye near 35 degrees Fahrenheit east to 510 mile per hour winds.
Chance of snow 100%.
1 to 3 inches of snow expected.
All right.
So, yeah, they're getting a lot of snow, man.
How much snow have they got?
How much snow?
A lot. A lot. Uh, so it looks like, yeah, they're getting a lot of snow, man. How much snow have they gotten? How much snow?
A lot.
I've seen people post photos where it's, it's crazy looking.
Seattle receives most snow in 70 years.
Oh my God.
Seattle averages just 5.9 inches of snow a winter.
Holy guacamole.
Uh, and 50, as of 15 hours ago, nearly two feet of snow fell there. Oh my god. Oh, yeah. Yay
Like even even here. We're normally used to getting like I know unlike a bad snowstorm. Maybe we'll get like a foot
Every year, but two feet that's even a lot for anybody unless it's like deep Maine like we talked about
It was like that's a Wednesday. We're definitely going to get a guy who's going to be like,
two feet?
There's 80 feet where I live in Antarctica.
I haven't left my house in 45 years.
It's snowed in.
I suppose it makes everything here.
I don't know how they get here.
Drones, I think.
I don't know.
I used to run my own Postmates back in the 60s.
Seattle, yeah.
Oh, my God, yeah.
18 to 24 inches in, like, east or a little east of Seattle in Portland.
Wowee.
That's a spicy mama mia.
Yeah, here it's calmed down.
Now it's just like we got, like, an inch of snow, and I'm like, I don't care about that.
I can do whatever.
As long as it's like not negative 40, I don't care.
Shit, dude.
I didn't know it was that snowy in Seattle.
I saw him getting snow, but I was like, wowee, that is a lot.
Well, now we know.
Seattle, don't go there right now.
Yeah.
That's weather.
All right, let's talk sports.
Sports.
Welcome to the sports desk.
We've got some sports news.
First up, a new football league has actually started.
You hear about this?
No.
What?
Is it the XFL?
It is not.
It is the Alliance of American Football.
I don't like it already.
I don't like it already.
A lot of people have been praising it,
and I watched some highlights,
and it's like, it's not that bad.
What's the difference?
So it's kind of like the minor leagues for the NFL.
A lot of the players are actually ex-NFL guys,
like Trent Richardson.
He used to be with the Browns and the Colts.
He's in it.
Christian Hackenberg,
he's an old Jets quarterback that got cut.
He was just as bad in this league.
He went 10 of 23 for 87 yards.
And that was it.
They only have eight teams.
It's like a bunch of Southern teams, too.
It's like Orlando, Atlanta, San Antonio, San Diego, and some other ones.
But what's nice is they've got some different rules that I'm hoping they'll implement into the actual NFL.
They have a Skyref who can overturn any call on the field.
So if the referee's like, pass interference, Skyref can be like, no, it's not. Overturn it.
After they look at it from the booth, everyone's like, oh, damn, this is legit.
They sped up the game. There's extra points you only go for two there's no onside kicks uh because there's no
kickoffs they just like go straight into playing uh and they allow more hits and like stuff like
it's crazy it's like it's not that bad interesting so i was watching that uh oh 2020 february 2020 the xfl returns so a year from now i miss i miss the xfl
days i miss all i miss all he hate me wherever he is i'm excited i hope he hate me is is on the
on the booth yep he hate me here broadcasting live from the sidelines
he hates me who was he why does he hate you i never got those answers um let's see football xfl
let's see frequently asked questions it's just a youtube video when will the first xfl game
kick off february 8th and 9th 2020 literally a year from now. What teams are there?
Let's see.
Advisors.
I don't care about advisors.
Where's the teams?
Oh, wait.
Here we go.
Teams.
The teams are Dallas, Houston, LA, New York, St. Louis, Seattle, Tampa Bay, and DC.
All right. And let's see. What else in sports? Base, and D.C. All right.
And let's see what else in sports.
Baseball is going to be starting up soon.
Two of the biggest free agents still haven't signed.
Manny Machado, Bryce Harper.
It's very boring, actually.
Everyone thought they would have signed with a team by now.
NBA, a whole bunch of trades happened in the NBA,
but the big one, Anthony Davis, didn't go anywhere.
He'll probably get traded in the offseason.
And in hockey, Blackhawks have won seven games in a row.
Oh, my God.
They're only four points out of the next playoff spot down there,
so don't look out.
Or look out, because here come Blackhawks.
Buffalo has fallen a bit.
They're down to 10th over there,
but they're still better than they used to be
So good for them
Yeah keep it up Buffalo
And I think that's it for sports
Hold on
No it's not
Because I looked up
Oh He Hate Me
From the original XFL
And since Vince McMahon's Football League is coming back
I had to find what Rod Smart, a.k.a.
HeHateMe,
said about his name so we could find out exactly
what he meant.
Alright.
Basically, my brother's my opponent, he said.
After I win, he's gonna hate me.
It is what it is.
It's a saying that I was saying
when I feel like something wasn't going my way.
For example, when I was in a squad in Vegas, the coach was putting other guys in.
And if I felt I'm better than them, you know, he hate me.
See what I'm saying?
Give me a chance.
That's all I ask.
It came from my heart within the way I felt.
There you have it.
Wow.
Wise words.
It explains something.
I don't know what it explained but i think i get it
that is that i think yeah i'm gonna explain something i don't know yeah he tried he tried
i think i get it i think i understand it's still insane but i think i get it and I like him even more now. Yeah. All right.
What is our big news story of the day?
Big news story of the day is a good one.
Pregnant woman upset over lack of beef patties
smashes New York restaurant's windows with bat.
Oh, you don't mess with pregnant women.
That's just a fact.
You don't do that.
You don't do it. You don't do it.
You better have those beef patties.
Oh, boy.
Oh, God, I wish there was video footage of this.
I bet it was glorious.
There is, actually.
Of course there is.
Oh, my God. Yeah, I got to see this. There you go. Of course there is. Oh, my God.
Yeah, I got to see this.
Let's see.
So it looks like here she's yelling about the lack of beef patties.
And oh, my God.
There she is with the bat.
Oh, my God.
She comes at that store with that bat.
Damn, dude.
She goes right for the windows.
What do you mean?
It's just chicken patties, lady.
Oh, my God. I thought she was going to hit the door or something. She like shatters. that bad she goes right for the windows what do you mean it's just chicken patties lady oh my god
i thought you're just gonna hit the door or something she like shatters that was wow and
then there's like people like walking by the one guy's like hey mammy okay no i'm i'm not helping
and then the other guy's just like yo like what are you doing the unidentified woman went to the
back home restaurant at 4 2020pm on January 15th
and ordered a beef patty, but
an employee told her they ran out.
Upset by the news, she left the restaurant
and came back with a bat and began
smashing the store's windows and front door.
There's gotta be more to this story.
No one just does that.
The woman fled the scene of the attack. No one was
injured. No one knows who this woman is.
Is she on the run? She's woman is. Is she on the run?
She's pregnant.
How is she on the run?
I don't know.
There's got to be an update.
Next week, there has to be an update.
She caused $2,000 worth of damage.
They're offering $2,500 for her arrest.
They literally, New York Crimestoppers, put out a thing of her.
There's a video on at NYPD tips.
Oh, my God.
February 9th, 2019.
This is brand new.
That is crazy.
We've been in business for over 20 years.
We've never seen anything like this.
We've been doing this podcast for six years, and we've never heard a story like this.
Yeah, she went nutso.
Why?
Why, though? Why? I don't know oh my god i am confused and i want to hope
that there's an update in a week i really do um shit dude yeah look this up everybody this
crazy shit there's got to be there's got to be something to to counteract this florida woman's
story oh this isn't Florida woman. This is
New York woman. Oh, you're
right. You're right. We need to
balance. I get so
caught up with everyone being from Florida. I know.
We need a Florida man story
to balance this New York woman. We need
a good one. Alright. Florida man
tells neighbors he's going to kill them with kindness
then tries to kill them with
machete he named kindness.
How do I get to this story?
Oh my god. I need to go
to this guy's account. Alright, hold on.
A Florida man threatened to kill someone
with kindness and then later
cut a man with a machete with the word
kindness written on the blade.
Brian Stewart,
30, of Milton, was overheard by Neighbors
Friday telling a person inside his home
that he was going to kill them with kindness.
When a neighbor went to the home to ask Stewart
to keep down the noise, Stewart raised
a knife in the man's direction, according
to the Pensacola News Journal. The second
neighbor stepped in front of Stewart to protect
the first man and was cut by Stewart with the machete
that had kindness written on it.
The man suffered a half-inch cut in his hand.
Stewart, who police say smelled of alcohol,
was arrested and placed in the back of a patrol car.
After kicking and banging his head inside the vehicle,
Stewart was stunned with a taser.
Stewart was charged with aggravated assault
with a deadly weapon without intent to kill an aggravated battery.
Wow, that was a real thing that happened.
Tried to kill someone with kindness.
You know this dude thought he was real, real clever.
Oh, he definitely did.
He probably showed that machete to everyone who came by.
Everyone who stopped over, he was like. He probably showed that machete to everyone who came by. Everyone who stopped over
he was like, let me show you
kindness. This is kindness
right here.
Now I'm gonna give it to you.
That's so dumb.
It's so dumb. It's like a really
bad action movie line.
It really is. I'm gonna kill him with kindness.
But that guy and the pregnant girl
with the bat, they'd make a kick-ass team.
I'd go watch that movie.
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
They really would.
Right?
She's like, where's my burger?
And the guy's like, we got no more burgers here, ma'am.
You're going to have to go somewhere else.
She's like, baby, they don't have any more burgers.
And he's like girl
We just got to be kind we got to kill him with kindness, and then she pulls out the machete called Batgirl and kindness
Have a better name than kindness kindness is the name of his weapon
Yeah, but nobody knows that let's be like kindness. What kind of dumb name is that then he kills with him with kindness. That's even stupider.
I don't know, what are you gonna name him?
Batgirl and...
uh...
Knife Guy.
Batgirl and Knife Guy.
You know, Batgirl and knife guy.
Kindness at least implies some sort of subtlety to like, oh he's kindness, he must be kind.
Oh he's nice, the name of his weapon.
Knife guy is just like, oh he's a guy with a knife.
You can't call her Batgirl, then if you're going for subtle, she should be like...
People only think Batgirl, they only think like a bat, like the animal, like Batgirl. No, that's not... She's a baseball Batgirl, then if you're going for subtle, she should be like... You think like a bat, like the animal,
like Batgirl.
No, that's not...
Well, then you can't...
He has to be called like
the killer then, because he kills them
with kindness, and they don't
expect it. They're like, oh, he
kills them with kindness, and then
the machete says kindness on it.
If it's Batgirl, it needs to be like
Really Hungry Burger Lady. If you're going for subtle, And then the machete says kindness on it. You can't like it was back girl It needs to be like really hungry burger lady right you can't just
Go for subtle back girl says she has a bat the
She can be called like well. She like craves the burger should be like the craver
Those are two of the worst
Don't hire us for naming stuff.
Not good at it.
Yes.
No, that's terrible.
Those are terrible names.
All right.
That is it for us.
Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this podcast.
Grendor, head over to the socials.
We have YouTube.com slash Cox and Grendor.
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Alright well that's it we will see you next time, and as always...
Bing! To be continued.