Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 215 - The McD'appleberry
Episode Date: October 18, 2019The boys are back at it again and this time they bring the good word - The McRib is back! So you know what that means!!!! Actually you don't, cause Jesse has some incredibly funny news. Meanwhile Cren...dor has taken to watching QVC and ordering candles. Also Newport Richie makes a triumphant return! All this and SO much more on another exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! To get 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to http://meundies.com/crendor Head to http://wearfigs.com and enter code COX at checkout for 15% off your first purchase.
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Today's episode is brought to you by Figs.
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Let's get into this podcast.
Hello, everybody.
It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.
In four-hour recording studios. Recorded. Hello everybody and welcome to another exciting episode of Cocks and Crandor in the morning.
You know what? I'm going to roll these three dice.
Why? What? What? Six to roll these three dice. Why?
What?
What?
653.
653?
Sounds like an area code.
8675309.
Uh-huh.
Jenny, Jenny.
Who could he turn to?
That song's just about a dude trying to imagine what a girl in a bathroom stall is like.
Wait, what?
Right?
Because he sees her number in the bathroom stall, I think, or on the wall next to the phone, one of the two,
and he wants to know who that Jenny is.
867-5309 is the number he sees, and he's like,
oh, I wonder what it would be like to call her.
Is that really him?
That's what that song's about?
Yes.
That's what that song's about.
Let's see.
Lyrics.
Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?
Give me something I can hold on to.
I know you'll think I'm like the others before who saw your name and number on the wall.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
See?
It's him thinking about calling this girl and wondering what it would be like and what she is like.
Huh.
And now he's like, maybe she's the one.
Maybe she's the girl that's going to, like, make me not a creep.
But spoiler, you're still a creep, my friend.
She's the girl that's going to, like, make me not a creep.
But spoiler, you're still a creep, my friend.
And on top of that, the song is, like, it only gives, like, the last seven numbers. So it's, like, any area code.
Well, for a while, that was a number people could call.
Like, people who had that number in your area code could be called with that.
Ah, I see.
So people would dial that number all the time, and people eventually, I think they had to remove it out of rotation.
That is pretty funny.
That's like, well, not for the people, but, you know.
Yeah, I mean, for everyone else, hilarious.
They're like, excuse me, Jenny?
And they're like, ah, you got me in the hang up on you.
I just Googled it.
There's somebody that had that number, and they said Charles Schambarger is now retired in Nebraska,
but he'll never forget the flood of phone calls he got saying, is Jenny there?
It started with an isolated phone call.
He said, we'd get a phone call.
Is Jenny there?
I'd say, no, sorry, wrong number.
Maybe a couple nights later, I'd get another phone call.
Is Jenny there?
Damn.
It's nonstop, guys.
Eventually, if I had that phone number eventually i'd just hire
someone i'd like get a new phone number keep that phone number hire someone to be like jenny here
i would do that i would do that for all of us and i'd have her work full time and be like
you're now jenny or i just hire someone named jenny and save us the trouble like yeah why don't
you just get a new phone number well because it's it's your phone number, man. Yeah, but like, it's not worth it. Think of all the proms he would have had.
Who made that song?
Tommy Two-Tone.
I was waiting for you to discover who made that song.
Tommy Two-Tone?
What else did Tommy Two-Tone make?
I don't think they made anything.
The way you say his name.
The way you say his name.
Tommy Two-Tone
What is it?
It's correct
But for some reason the way you say
Two-Tone
Tommy Two-Tone
Tommy Two-Tone
Did I just over pronounce it?
Two-Tone
I don't know
The album was called
Tommy Two-Tone Two.
What the shit?
How does that even make sense?
Tommy Two-Tone Two.
So their album, their first album was called Tommy Two-Tone One or just Tommy Two-Tone?
I don't think so.
I hope not.
Tommy Two-Tone Two is the second album.
Right, right.
Tommy Two-Tone first album was called Tommy Two-Tone 2 is the second album. Right, right. Tommy Two-Tone first album was called Tommy Two-Tone.
Sure, hence Tommy Two-Tone 2.
That's what I'm saying.
Did they ever make, okay, so they made Tommy Two-Tone.
Wait, why are they so dumb?
Tommy Two-Tone, why wasn't it just called Tommy Two-Tone?
Yeah.
For the second album.
Yeah.
Wait a minute, now I'm confused.
Yeah.
For the second album.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Now I'm confused.
And then they had their third album was National Emotion.
Yeah, well, that's why it didn't do as good.
That's why no one heard of Tommy Two-Tone.
13 years later in 96, they released Nervous Love. And then in 98, they released Two-Tone.RTF.
What?
Two-Tone.RTF? What? TwoTone.rtf?
I think they just released a file.
Accidentally, they sent out the wrong email.
It's not really music.
It's more of a rich text document.
Yeah, and that's the Tommy TwoTone era.
Yeah, well, I mean, now we know more than we ever needed to know about Tommy Two-Tone
Yeah, I don't think I want to learn anymore, honestly
Yeah, I think we're good
I think we've learned all we really need to know
So welcome to the Cox's Primer Podcast
Oh my god, this past weekend, I went to the LA Comic Con
Oh
It used to be Stanley's Comic Con.
I'm not sure if it changed after his death or if it changed before that.
It is lovely.
I'm just going to say it's a lovely venue, just not for me.
I think I'm over big conventions.
The smaller the convention, the better because, oh my God, there were so many people.
It was insane. It was insane.
It was insane.
And they did a thing that I don't like at conventions.
They put their main stage in the same hall as the exhibitor hall.
So people would stop and watch what was going on in the main stage instead of moving.
And so getting around was the worst.
So getting around was the worst.
And I arrived right as Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes were doing their Sideshow Bob and Jay and Silent Bob Sideshow Bob.
Jay and Sideshow Bob.
They were doing Simpsons Sideshow Bob.
They were doing Jay and Silent Bob.
It was very funny.
They had a whole bit there.
It was very awesome.
But no one was moving. And it was just like, oh, my God.
I have to get to the other side of this room
please just go so i kept having to push past people and i had like little kids inside i felt
terrible sorry sorry and i like hit cosplayers who were like barely trying to keep their costume
alive i'm like i just gotta get to okay i gotta get to the room okay oh my god i just can't i
can't do that anymore.
Parking took me 45 minutes to find a place.
I had to park 12 blocks away.
The parking in lots around the convention center is $50.
$50.
That's so much for parking.
I know.
I drove all the way.
You could have bought like half an air pod for that.
I literally just should have taken a Lyft or an Uber at that point.
I parked 12 blocks away.
I could have been justified at 12 blocks away getting an Uber or Lyft and taking it to the convention center.
I was like, all right, fine.
So I walked down there and then I stood in another ridiculous line.
The line to get in was insane.
Thankfully, our dear friend Davis was like,
bro, go over to this area and tell them you're going to the press area.
And I was like, okay.
And so they let me in.
They didn't even question it.
No, I was like, yes, I'm going to press.
And they're like, okay, come on in.
No one questioned it.
Davis.
I could have been anybody.
That one pecs or davis would just tell us
like the best way to get into things is to just pretend like you're an idiot and nobody will
question it it's like you kind of walk in the press area just look around being like oh is this
where i'm supposed to be i guess it is and everyone's like ah they're just dumb and they
just let you i mean that's kind of what happened as i walked
in and i was like looking for the press area and they were like oh right this way and they just let
me in past security i walked in i had no badge i had no credentials i noticed going into the actual
con once you get past the main security area outside, there's no one inside checking your credentials.
Oh, yeah.
So I could have just walked in if I wanted to, but I went over to the press area and
got my badge and was like, okay, and then went on in.
Like, what a crazy, just the whole day was crazy.
I had a ton of fun hanging out with friends and doing a panel and stuff.
Like, that was great.
Yeah.
But there's a reason why, even at E3, I'm like, I plan every moment of E3.
I do meetings.
I stay off the main floor, not because I'm hiding,
because it's just a giant cluster F.
I can't do it.
I have to hold in all my emotion instead of being like, just move.
God damn it, just move.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
It's frustrating. You hold in, you're going you're gonna stress yourself you're gonna destroy yourself well that's why i only go to big conventions like once every
so often and most of the time i'm like i'm good i'm gonna pass they've gotten too big it's like
it's too big yeah there's just too many people it was so have you been to e3 have you done it
you have you've done yeah we did i did e3? Have you done it? You've done E3, right?
Yeah, I did E3.
That's when you had bronchitis and we had breakfast.
Oh my God, that's right. And I was totally effed up.
Yeah.
So you've done E3.
You know how big that is.
Yeah.
Imagine that, but it's like open to the public as well.
So it was like too much.
I love conventions. I love conventions.
I love meeting people.
But when it's like too big, you can't do any of the things that you want to do, right?
I couldn't stop to just look at a thing because there were crowds at everything.
And it was like, oh, my God.
I just want to take a minute and see like your weird fan art you've made or the weird dice you're selling or something.
And it's impossible.
Yeah.
Because there's so many people and you're like, well, okay, fine.
I don't mind big crowds, but I don't like big crowds.
Like when you can't move, when there's so many people, it's like I get overwhelmed.
Yeah.
There's a difference between crowded and unenjoyable.
Yeah.
And there are a lot of conventions, especially in big cities like New York City Comic Con,
San Diego Comic Con, all those different things,
they're just too big.
You know, I guess people love money,
so they're not going to limit the ticket amount.
But with that said, oh my God, it's insane.
It's like too much.
And I don't understand why people suffer it.
Does that make any sense?
Yeah.
There are many conventions around the country that are just as good and not nearly as crowded.
I guess because it's the most popular, so it's like we got to go to the popular one.
I guess.
Man, there's so many great conventions around this beautiful nation and world of ours,
and there are only a few that are just like, fill it to capacity.
Yeah, I just got conventioned out
over the last two years like uh i feel you it's it just hits that point you're just like i've done
it all i've seen it all it's the same stuff it's like just the traveling i'm just like i'm just
gonna sit here and watch it on the computer and then after a while you're like all right you know
maybe i'll go back to one and like do that and then you enjoy it a little more because you haven't been there in a while yeah i i'm say i'm always like that but i'm
a hypocrite i'm always like yeah you know what i'm good but then someone's like jesse we will pay you
to come to our convention i'm like all right i'm in let's do it you talk me into it i'm like i'm
not gonna go to conventions this year and then someone will be like yes you are i'm like okay i am i
totally am like i think uh in march there's like the miniature convention here in chicago it's like
uh the like one of the biggest conventions for like miniature gaming and i was like dude that
it's in march what day in march it's called adepticon and it's march 25th. Did you say March 3 5th?
No, 25th.
Oh, March 3 5th.
I was like, what the hell?
25th to 29th.
Yeah, apparently it's like one of the biggest miniature conventions.
My favorite is when you go to the Adepticon page,
at least for me, there's just like,
it's exactly how I would imagine it.
Yeah.
It's just, my favorite part is like just the dudes
in the corner just sitting there like it's been a long day oh yeah it's exactly what i think it
would be this is just like i just want to go walk around see stuff and be like nice like you know
that's i want to experience these are like my favorite things let's walk around and take it
all in like something i haven't seen before.
Like when you go to PAX, I'm like, I know what I'm going to get at PAX.
When I go to E3, I'm like, I know what I'm going to get at E3.
Go to BlizzCon, I'm like, I know what I'm going to get.
But this, I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to get.
So I'm ready to experience this.
Well, that's why I went to that convention in Australia in Canberra.
People were like, why did you come to Canberra?
And everyone kept asking me.
And I was like, I have no idea what to expect here.
I've never been here. I couldn't tell you what this convention is going to be like that's exciting I love that
stuff I want to see weird stuff let's get crazy yeah yeah so it's I've hit that point I'm like
you know what give me the crazy but also it's it's literally in your backyard so oh yeah that's
the other thing I can like you know I don't have to fly anywhere. That's my thing. If I don't know how to fly, sign me up.
Also, the hotel it takes place in is the Renaissance Schramberg Convention Center.
It's right by Medieval Times.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
When's our, do you know when our next live thing is?
Oh, no.
Are we semi-announcing that now?
I was about to go look that up in secret.
I was about to look that up in secret.
Look, we are doing more live shows next year y'all and one of them may be in march
and now we gotta go look and see when dude we could hit this up then go to medieval times i'm
saying i was thinking the same thing i was like oh maybe let's do it have you ever you haven't
been to medieval times right no i think we talked about it like 100-something episodes ago.
I've never been to Medieval Times.
Oh, my God.
I bet that could be a ton of fun.
When you're at least two beers in, it starts getting real fun.
When you're at least two beers in.
Oh, yeah.
It may be very close to that.
I don't know if it's that date.
Clearly, it can't be because that's when Adepticon is.
And all the hotels will be booked up in the entire city.
No doubt.
No doubt.
No doubt about that.
Oh my god, what is this?
Star Wars Galactic Qualifiers are there.
Galactic Qualifiers are epic high energy events that celebrate Star Wars destiny in the most enthusiastic way.
Scroll down to the photo and it's like a bunch of people playing with a monster energy drink.
The most high energy.
It's like people looking at cards.
Oh, yeah.
That sounds about right.
Man, actually, this seems like a great time.
This really does.
I'm actually really excited to go to this.
I want to see people play Monster Hunter.
I love how everything about it is so hype.
All the text is hype, and all the photos are people just hanging out.
Just like, you know, having a good time.
5,700 attendees.
That's pretty solid.
That's very solid.
Yeah.
I mean, it's a lot of people.
And on top of that, I mean, here's the thing.
Even if you don't go to this, we still need to go to Medieval Time.
Yes.
We need to go there, and we need to get you down on the floor oh yeah no doubt you need to be you need to be
the champion i need to catch the rose they always talk to people usually they give it to like little
kids or like little girls but you know sometimes they'll be like hey look at that guy here's a rose
i want the rose now it's like it's like a rose ceremony where only one of us can truly get the rose,
and I want that rose.
We'll battle.
Battle for our love, champion.
I feel uncomfortable with this.
Battle for our love, champion.
Mr. Johansson, there's two men outside saying they have to battle for their love.
I'm really worried.
You'll get out there and you'll battle for their love, damn it.
Okay, I just want to make sure that my contract says I have to do this.
If you want this job, you will.
I'm here to battle for your love, gentlemen.
We're just like, yeah, you are.
Yeah, you are.
So anyway.
If it's close to that, we can go to that and Medieval Times.
But otherwise, let's go to Medieval Times.
And then I'll only go to the Deafinities.
Oh, man.
So good stuff. Good stuff. Hopefully, it's done to medieval times. And then I'll only go to the 50 days. Oh, man. So good stuff.
Good stuff.
Hopefully it's done snowing by then.
Yes.
That'd be great.
Dude, did you know that they've been having Bob Ross marathons on Twitch every weekend?
They've been having Bob Ross as his own channel, doesn't he?
Yeah, and every Friday to Monday, he streams.
They stream like the season.
He doesn't actually stream, but you know.
The ghost of Bob Ross streams. I'd still watch the ghost of bob ross hey everyone i'm doing an ama bob what's it like
uh in the afterlife there are happy little clouds and happy little trees so every time i warhammer
paint i just put on bob ross and i paint with bob you know what that sounds amazing because there
are no mistakes yeah i'll like make a little mistake on my guy and I paint with Bob. You know what? That sounds amazing because there are no mistakes.
Yeah.
I'll like make a little mistake on my guy and then he's like, there's no mistakes.
And I'll be like, that's right.
There's no mistakes.
And I'll be like, you know what?
That's not a mistake.
That's war paint.
And then I make it into war paint.
It looks cool.
And I'm like, thanks, Bob.
And he's like, hey, no problem.
Hey, you're welcome.
Right?
Yeah.
And it's kind of creepy because I'm like, Bob?
And then.
That's right, Eric. It's me, Wow Tim Bob dude. Oh my god He was showing off his squirrels in one episode. I forgot that one that's in his pocket that he feeds
Yeah, and he was like this squirrels named like the Appleberries or some shit like you just apple actually something like
what a great
not
not apple
berry
apple
like a Skyrim thing like I found the
apple berries
the apostrophe
apple berries apple berries Appleberries. D apostrophe Appleberries.
Appleberries is such a good name for a squirrel.
It really is.
Get this made.
The Appleberries.
I saw some squirrels running around today.
They're going crazy.
Some of those things are like they're like chasing each other.
You don't know if they're like playing or like mating and I'm like or it's a genuine squirrel chase
One of them has the nut and they're like get that guy or they're chasing them down for food
It's one of the three yeah, you never know what the animals crazy things. Yeah, they're so wild
things unlike humans
Yeah
Crazy things, unlike humans.
Yeah.
I'm going to be laughing about the apple berries for a long time.
I'll let you know.
That should be my new in-game name, the apple berries.
The apple berries.
Yeah, Bob Ross, great guy.
What else did we do?
We went to the pumpkin patch.
That was pretty fun.
Me and Toast went to the pumpkin patch. How was it fun? It and Toast went to the pumpkin patch. Okay, how was it fun?
It's just pumpkins, right?
How's that fun?
It's not just pumpkins.
You get, like, apple cider.
You get, like, a donut, like an apple donut or whatever, and then you walk around.
Oh, how very Midwest.
That sucks.
Here in LA, we don't have that.
Yeah, it starts getting false.
Like, it's 60 degrees outside.
It's, like, cool, but it's, like, not, like, you know, cold.
Yeah, you have, like, like a nice windbreaker and you go
and you look for pumpkins.
They got a bunch of like random things you can take pictures with.
They got like the animals there.
They got like all the stuff.
There's people.
There's like the moms that are like, come on, kids.
Let's go.
Let's look at the pumpkins.
Pick that one.
The kids like that.
And then there's like the styling mom who's like looks like she's like decked out, but
she's still like Chandler. Let's, like, decked out, but she's still like, Jimmy, get over here.
Chandler, let's choose a pumpkin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They look like they could be an L.A. mom, but they got to, like, style in the Midwest.
Right.
They're styling, though, like, legit.
So their hair is, like, a little poofier, but still styling.
Oh, yeah.
Like, they got it curled.
It's like they went to town.
They went to a blow-dry salon or whatever those places are that don't actually do your hair.
They just dry your hair.
We dry in style
only no cuts.
Yeah.
Just walk around.
Honestly, I just like my apple cider.
And then you got like the hayride.
So you just take a hayride around.
It's a good time.
It's very Midwest.
Also, I guess everywhere else but California.
California is just like, we don't have weather, so we don't do that.
Yeah, anywhere that actually has changing weather, I think, does it.
Yes, and that's fun.
Like, that stuff's great.
Yeah.
I kind of miss it.
Yeah, I love it.
That's why I can't.
That's okay.
I don't think I'd ever want to live where it's, like, hot nonstop.
Like, sure, it's nice in the winter where you're like, oh, it's hot here but there's still like you know it makes you appreciate the heat
when it comes back plus you get like uh it's nice variety right that's why i keep being like man if
i if i could i'd move to like one of the boroughs of of new york yeah like i love that i love
manhattan but i wouldn't want to live in manh Manhattan because that place is just too much. What do you mean by
burrow? Anywhere around the city?
Oh yeah, I'd have a great time.
I'd go to all the street vendors
and I'd be like, hey, what are you
doing here?
What are you doing? You on my street?
Get out of here. You my parking space.
Oh, I'd fit in perfectly.
You'd be the troll that would be like,
get out of my parking space.
Yeah, I'd put a cone there.
I'd be the guy
who puts the cone on the street.
Oh, yeah, the cone.
Like, who is this idiot?
Oh, my God.
That's in my parking space.
Actually, if I lived
anywhere in New York,
I wouldn't own a car.
Yeah, they do that
in the city in Chicago, too.
They put, like,
lawn chairs and shit out there.
They're like,
this is my parking spot.
You ain't parking here.
Yeah, I would never.
If I lived in a big city like that, I mean, even Chicago has rail services.
I would never, I would not own a car.
It doesn't make any sense.
Yeah.
The parking you'd have to pay.
I just either take rideshare places or jump on trains and stuff.
There's literally no reason to own a car in a big city like that.
That's true.
But I guess LA doesn't have any of that, so it's like...
We have none of that.
LA is like not...
LA's eight big cities crammed together and none of them work together well.
It's like the United Kingdom of the Medieval Ages.
Yes.
I mean, sure, okay.
I think I get what you're going for
Get out of our lane
And it's like Wales we'll beat you up
And then England's like
Then they all yell at each other
And then France is like
That's your French
Sacre bleu
I really want
Like a buddy comedy show Of your British guy and my New York guy.
I'm like, hey, what are you doing?
I'm fucking trying to fucking party.
What do you mean you're trying to fucking party?
I don't even speak a language.
What are you saying to me?
I'm fucking being a boob.
It's football.
That's right. Go Giants. I'mity beepity boop. It is football. That's right.
Go Giants.
Oh, Liverpool.
Liverpool.
Oh, Liverpool.
Oh, Liverpool.
Oh, Liverpool.
I always remember that one British guy
just being like, oh, righteous Slytherin.
That was my favorite British saying I think I've ever heard, giving him a righteous Slytherin.
That's like that Scottish guy who was like, that's a nice deck.
So that's the pumpkin patch dude fortnight has 338 000 viewers right now and they're all just
watching like a black hole earlier today on youtube there's four million people watching
a black hole what the it's because all the people that are like i'm a variety streamer are just like
you know i'm a streamer that streams whatever's popular are literally just streaming that right now. Yes. That's exactly, that's exactly what that is. What I think is
fascinating is today I went and got dinner earlier and I live at like a crazy nexus of people who
aren't aware Fortnite went down as part of an event or something. Right. And so kids all over
the world are losing their damn minds. I live at an intersection of a college, like a big college is near me, and then a bunch of high schools, and then like a bunch of like parks and beach areas, right?
So I'm right in between all of that.
Today I went to dinner.
I have never seen so many Fortnite shirts in my life.
I feel like everyone who's playing Fortnite had to go outside today.
And I was just like sitting there, and I kept seeing Fortnite shirts.
And I was like, what the hell?
I assume they all were like, well, I've got nothing else to do.
I guess I'll leave the house.
And they just went out, and I was like, whoa.
All right, Fortnite.
It also made me realize that Fortnite is very, very popular.
Because at first, I was like, ha-ha, funny. That's it was at first I was like, ha ha, funny.
That's cute.
And then I was like, oh, my God, that's a lot of people in Fortnite shirts.
That's a lot of money someone made off of that.
Honestly, it's brilliant marketing.
They always are brilliant.
They're always genius.
I just I don't know what they thought was going to happen, though, when they shut down their game and made the joke that it was dead forever.
happen though when they shut down their game and made the joke that it was dead forever and then there are videos all the internet of kids like crying and breaking their tvs and stuff i don't
know what they thought was gonna happen but uh thank you because it's hilarious
yeah i mean the kids don't understand it they don't get you know marketing ploys and
why there's like fortnight's dead and they're like oh my it's
really you can hear parents laughing at their kids they're like crying in front of their tvs like why
if i was a parent i'd be like would you cry this much if i just died would you
like you're not fortnight dude i remember when i was a kid, I went and saw Sesame Street on ice and I got a balloon
and that balloon floated away into the sky when I got out of the car and I cried.
I believe what was the balloon of though?
I don't remember, but I remember seeing that balloon fly away and crying.
Part of me wants it to be either Bert or Ernie.
I think it was somebody was blue.
It might have been like, who's blue?
It was either like Cookie Monster or like, what's the other guy?
Groucho or some shit.
Grover.
Groucho?
Grover.
Yeah, I think it might have been Grover.
Is Grover still around?
How would Grover ever leave?
Well, because I haven't seen, you know, when they do that like, hey, this is all the people that's on Sesame Street.
But I feel like I haven't seen Grover in forever.
I mean, have you watched Sesame Street in forever?
No, but you know how they have, like, publicity things and they do.
It's always like Elmo or, you know, all those other people.
Yeah, they pick the popular ones.
Here's the thing.
I went to Grover's Wikipedia page, which is pretty amazing, the fact that exists.
But they have Sesame Street is modified in different national markets, and Grover is often renamed.
Here are some Grover names.
Grover names.
In Germany, Grover is groby, diminutive of the German grobe, meaning rough or rude.
In Pakistan, he's bonka.
Bonka.
In Portugal, he's galter or Walter.
In Spain, he's coco because his mouth and head are the shape of a coconut.
I love this. In Latin America and Puerto Rico, his name is Archibald.
Archibald.
That's my favorite one.
And in Poland, his name is Florik.
Look at this.
I'm learning.
Florik.
And in Germany, his name is tommy two-tone
he has three albums it's crazy actually four one of them was a file grover over there
oh my god i got one more thing okay yes so as background noise on the television
we have been keeping on qvc and i don't know why but it's like the perfect background noise
and let me tell you why no it's not why it's live non-stop so it's got like a bit of that
like twitch element to it right it's live you can buy stuff if you're like hey that looks cool
but like rarely i think i bought like one thing what what did you buy there's a hose to be fair it's a pretty good hose i used it once and you got me going to q i'm literally going to
qbc right now and it's like you know that they're all just qbc to find value the thing is like
they're always positive that they're positive because they're trying to sell you stuff but
there's still something about it that's like they're just like it's just a great item you
know give it to your friends give it to your family. This goat lotion is gonna be perfect and it's like I don't know
It's just it's just a happy background thing to have on if you're like cleaning or doing something else
I typed in swords and it said the page wasn't working
swords
And he's like you can get this samurai ninja throwing star katana with the dragon inlay for only $14.99.
But not only that, we're going to throw in this samurai sword created by Hitori Hanzo himself.
There's only 800 of these remaining.
We're going to need you to call right now.
My favorite is like they have the people call in and it's always like the old women and they're like, I bought the pumpkin candle and I love it.
I burn it all the time and I gave it to one of my friends and they burn it all the time.
And my friend Cheryl, she can't burn it because she has allergies.
But sometimes she just burns it anyway, you know.
And she just self-combusts.
Yeah, right.
Because of those candles, she is also made mostly of wax.
Yes.
And they're just like, wow, that's fantastic, Cheryl.
Would you recommend that people buy like 20 of these right now?
And she's like, I think Cheryl's gone.
But I think that she would definitely say it.
I bought 20 of them.
She would definitely buy it.
Here's the thing.
Specialty shop.
Oh, my God.
Gifts for the big kid.
That's it.
That's the one.
That's you.
Gifts for the big kid.
That's me.
Let's find out what gifts are coming for me.
Okay.
If this website works.
QVC.com not working
like every time i click something it's like no i just clicked new wait gifts for the big what
the hell i clicked gifts for the big kids and it took me to a page that says gifts for the big kids
fun for young ones and the young of heart and then it's just a blank empty page there's nothing here uh-oh my qbc
stopped working i think you crashed my qbc is actively on right now i'm on their web page and
it linked me oh my god oh my god it linked me to their live stream and there's a man in glasses
who looks like one of the actors of Saturday Night Live lighting candles. One of them
is called Partridge in a Pear Tree.
Another is called Vanilla Spice and Everything Nice.
And he's lighting candles
and they're like, these candles are
the best smelling candles. Mind you, he
lit all four types of
smells next to each other and then
walked away. So he lit
all these scents and then like
left.
Also he said that candles are the gift that keeps giving all right i'm gonna shut that down because that's crazy dude i'm telling you this
is prime background that keeps giving candles they keep on giving until they're gone they keep
on giving speaking of gifts if you have a nurse a dentist, or anyone in your life that is in the medical profession or the healthcare profession,
I assume those are one and the same, although I could be wrong, right?
I don't know.
If they're in your family or there's a friend, right, and you're thinking about what you could get them as holiday season approaches,
or maybe you're one of them and you're like, man, I need some new scrubberoonies.
Figs are the way to go.
These people dedicate their lives to caring for others.
And we think that if you're listening out there and you're one of them or you know one of them,
that they should feel good when they're doing it.
And so Figs is the best way to do that.
Figs is an amazing company that's making scrubs stylish and functional for the people who deserve it the most.
For years, nurses, doctors, dentists, and all these other awesome medical professionals,
like, have been forced to wear scratchy, ill-fitting scrubs. No more. Figs has created
the highest quality medical apparel so that medical professionals can look their best,
feel their best, and perform their best every single day.
Every set of figs is antimicrobial, protects against germs, bacteria, it's ridiculously
soft, moisture wicking, and features four-way stretch.
You going north, you going south, you going east, you going west, they stretching everywhere.
They on the compass rose of stretch.
Figs are made with yoga waistbands and come in a variety of styles from classic straight
legs to joggers to skinny styles if you're that kind of doctor and you're like, skinny styles only please.
Figs gives back too, and so can you.
Every time you shop at Figs, they give scrubs to healthcare providers in need around the world through their Threads for Threads initiative.
To date, Figs has donated hundreds of thousands of sets in over 35 countries
they make a great gift for the lifesavers in your life they make a great gift for yourself if you're
out there doing all the work figs is a good way to say thank you so whether you are one of the
awesome humans that work in the health care industry or someone who wants to say thanks to
one of these folks fig Figs is going to make
it easy by providing you with 15% off your first purchase by using code COX.
If you go to wearfigs, W-E-A-R-F-I-G-S.com and enter the code COX at checkout, you get
15% off scrubs.
Also, I'm not even going to lie.
I'm not even going to lie to y'all.
You don't really need to be a doctor.
Sometimes scrubs just Also, I'm not even gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie to y'all. You don't really need to be a doctor. Sometimes scrubs just feel good. I'm not saying I have some and I'm not saying I wear
them around the house just cause, but they're great. They're like the coolest pants to just
chill out in. And it makes you feel like you could be like a TV doctor, not a real doctor
because they're actual professionals, but like a TV doctor, you know, like, give me 50 cc's of sex stat. So, go to wearfigs.com and enter code COX for 15% off your first purchase.
Also today, uh-oh, uh-oh, we have to get spooky, Crandor.
It's the most wonderful time of year, Halloween.
Remember when planning your costume as a kid was like the most fun you could have before Christmas?
Well, now you're an adult and Halloween feels a little less Halloween-y.
Candy gives me stomach pain.
Well, MeUndies is bringing back the childlike joy of picking your favorite costume
because they have MeUndies Halloween onesies with Spooky Prince
Abu.
They're spooky soft and designed to be the best thing you've ever put in your body,
like the undies they're named after.
So it's better than dressing up as that fluffy kitten or the brain eating zombie or
whatever the hell you're gonna dress up as.
Instead you can wear a halloween
onesie from me undies they come in extra small all the way up to 4x and softness for everyone
they have the most unique prints out there but the halloween prints are another level of spooky
this year me undies is coming out with a variety of festive prints to really put the boo in your
booty didn't think me undies would up your Halloween costume game?
Well, think again.
Their unique prints are designed to be mixed and matched and turned into the most guaranteed
prize-winning costume contest costume.
If you don't feel like leaving the house, that's cool, too, because guess what?
You can just warm around the house.
I mean, that's what I would do.
Yeah.
I wouldn't.
I'm not going to go to a Halloween party
and then I have to go outside and there's monsters
and stuff out there. That's what the devil gets you.
It's all Hallows' Eve, everybody.
MeUndies has a great offer for
you listening right now. If you're a first
time purchaser, you can get 15% off
at MeUndies.com
15% off
free shipping. This is
a no-brainer, especially because zombies are coming to steal those brains.
So watch out.
If you go to MeUndies.com slash Crendor.
That's me.
You can get 15% off your first pair, free shipping, 100% satisfaction guaranteed.
If you don't like it, they will take it back.
You lose nothing because it's free shipping.
MeUndies.com slash Crendor free shipping. MeUndies.com slash
Crendor. That is meUndies.com
slash Crendor.
I wear these every single day. I love
them to death. My tush feels good.
My booty feels bootyful.
That's terrible.
Alright, that's
ChoppedGarbage7. Let's do that.
Oh, hey.
How's it going?
I normally, you know, you get the segue and everything, but I guess.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Yeah.
What's up?
Man.
Looking down.
I see some traffic.
Dude.
Oh, my God.
It's almost Christmas.
We're like two months away.
No, we're one month away from like Black Friday. What the shit? It's a good time of year. It's almost Christmas. We're like two months away. Dude, we're one month away from Black Friday.
What the shit?
It's a good time of year.
It's a good time of year.
Oh, man.
It's a great time of year.
Yeah, wait.
Holiday season, dude.
It's a great time.
It's the best of time.
It's the worst of times.
It's...
Thank God for alcohol times.
You know?
Love that stuff.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah, the traffic
It's going
Back to you
Thanks, Crandor
Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk
How's that weather?
Weather
What's up?
We're over here at the weather desk
Let's type in in good old fashioned
I don't know yam yam
yamagata okay so we're gonna head over to let woppy take it woppy activated yamagata she
yamagata perfect prefecture japan 58 degrees cloudy feels like 58. High, 60 degrees today. Rain, 70%.
Chains cloudy with showers high.
Round 63.
Air and height, winds light variable.
Chance rain, 70%.
Tonight, 53 degrees, 60%.
Tuesday, 62 degrees.
Fahrenheit, 40%.
Tuesday night, 39.
10%.
Wednesday, 65.
10%.
He's a little rusty. I I can tell I can tell that I haven't yeah we haven't
really had WAPI in a while so I think he's got it'll be fine next time uh I mean 82 humidity
you got the three out of ten UV index watch out for those ultraviolet rays you got the sun coming
up at 545 setting at 503 that's actually kind of like, what was that? 5.45 to 5.03 in Japan? That seems
kind of walkie. Hold on, what is it?
What do you mean? 2pm? 5.03pm?
Yeah, but like here in
Chicago, it rises like
7am and then sets at like
6pm? So we actually, it
rises a little bit later, but it sets
a bit later as well. That's kind of, I like
it when the sun rises at like
8am or some shit, because you know, I like it when the sun rises at like 8 a.m. or some shit
because, you know,
I go to bed like 4 or 5 p.m.
or a.m.
Well, I would imagine,
aren't they higher up on the...
On the what?
No.
I mean, they're almost exactly where...
I keep trying to figure out,
like, Japan compared to the United States,
where they are relative to the equator.
Yeah, in LA it rises like 7 a.m., sets at 6.20 p.m. too.
I'm just trying to figure out if that means Japan's more north than Chicago.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know what the parallel.
Chicago and LA are pretty similar,
so I feel like it's something with that part of the world instead.
What about Korea?
It does look like it.
On the globe, it does look like it is more along the Canadian line of things,
but still, I never really think that.
I could be a crazy person.
I never really think that either.
Still, I never really think that.
Like, I could be a crazy person.
Yeah, I never really think that either.
In Seoul, Korea, it rises 638, sets at 557.
So they're actually more towards our time in Seoul. The top of Japan is along the 45-degree north parallel.
And it looks like 45 degrees goes right through.
Like, it's almost the same as Chicago.
Crazy.
Oh, man.
I don't know how the world works.
So Japan and Chicago are roughly, they're very, very close.
Interesting.
So why is it that way?
It's like on par with San Francisco, right?
So San Francisco should have like the same time?
I don't think that's how that works.
I think we're trying to math out things that aren't correct.
I think we're trying to like use science to prove things that science does not prove real smart people tell
Tell us
People with actual brains what is going on here? Okay, but what about Spain right like what about?
What about Spain they are?
Sunrise 823 a.m. sets at 7.37 p.m.
What the shit?
Dude, that's like, I'd love that.
Dude, oh my god.
Flat Earth Theory proved incorrect once again.
Listen, listen.
All right.
Spain actually has my ideal times, though.
Or, like, sunrise time.
7 a.m. sunrise, and then, what?
No.
7 p.m. sunset?
8.23 a.m. sunrise.
What? How's that possible? That's what? 7 p.m. sunset? 23 a.m. sunrise.
What?
How's that possible?
That's what I'm saying.
That's like a great sunrise.
And then 7.37 p.m. sunset.
That's like ideal for me.
I love that.
It's like go to bed. They have an agenda.
They're like, look, we're going to get up late.
We're going to have a siesta.
So you're going to have to keep that damn sun up a little longer.
And son's like, all right, we made a deal.
Give me a nice roll.
6-4-2.
6-4-2.
There you go.
And that's the weather.
All right.
Sports.
Sports.
Welcome to the sports desk.
We've had some crazy sports action, actually.
All the sports are kicking off.
We're actually in prime sports season right now, where pretty much all the sports desk. We've had some crazy sports action, actually. All the sports are kicking off. We're actually in prime sports season right now,
where pretty much all the sports are going.
So we'll start with baseball news.
Right now, the Yankees Astros are tied at two in the bottom of the 10th,
and the Yankees are up 1-0 in that series.
And the only people who want the Yankees to win are actual Yankees fans.
The Dodgers got knocked
out by the Nationals which is funny um because you know Dodgers were like this is our year we
won like 800 games and then they're like we lose um so then the Nationals I believe are up two
uh to nothing on the Cardinals Nationals are on a roll now they beat the dodgers and they're just like let's go uh and so it's gonna be one of those two teams uh going to the world series so
good for them uh basketball pre-season has started up the bulls actually won today go bulls they
maybe they'll be good this year um i hope so sure dude they got so many good draft picks. They got to be good now.
Then the hockey season has started, and I believe, let me check here,
Carolina is 5-1.
Buffalo is 4-0.
Could it be Buffalo has finally gotten back to the point of getting to the playoffs
and losing?
Who knows?
Yeah, I think that's i was
about to say thank you thank you for saying it correctly getting the playoffs and losing once
again uh blackhawks are oh two and one fantastic uh and nashville three and two edmonton edmonton's
five and oh hot dog edmonton looking good. And Colorado 4-0.
So they're off to very good starts.
And then today we had football.
Well, football.
Actual football.
New England beat the Giants. I thought we were finally going to get those scores.
Like the LA Galaxy.
No.
New England beat the Giants on Thursday.
Carolina beat Tampa Bay in London.
The Seahawks beat the Browns on Thursday. Carolina beat Tampa Bay in London.
The Seahawks beat the Browns 32-28.
Close game, but the Browns continue to be the Browns.
But how is Jacksonville doing?
We'll get there.
We'll get there.
Oh, my God.
Houston beat the Chiefs.
Washington beat the Dolphins in the Loser Bowl.
The Vikings beat the Eagles.
Big win for them. The New Orleans Saints defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars 13-6.
Come on.
I know.
Bortles.
They said Saints, Quiet, Minshew.
No, not Bortles, Minshew.
Bortles.
Bortles is the guy who was with them before.
Saints, Quiet, Minshew, Mania handled Jaguars 13-6.
So sad news there.
Come on, Minshew mania. Handle Jaguars 13-6. So sad news there. Come on, Minshew.
Ravens barely beat the Bengals.
Of course.
The 49ers beat the Rams.
The Cardinals beat the Falcons, who are in a super downward spiral.
The Broncos shut out the Titans.
The Jets beat the Cowboys somehow.
And the Steelers finally won against the Chargers.
Thank God they did that.
Yeah.
They needed that.
In fact, they are somehow, someway still in the running for the division.
That's because our division sucks.
Yes, that's why somehow, someway.
The Steelers are like perpetually up against the Browns and the
Bengals and the Ravens they're only two games back of the Ravens this point they're tied with
the Browns now and the Bengals are 0-6 so sad times oh Bengals how are you so bad it's like
it's like the Browns and the Bengals just swap positions they're like hey do you want to be
mediocre and we'll go back to being the worst team?
They're like, yeah, we'll do that.
Everyone asks me all the time, you're from Ohio.
Why is the Buckeyes, why is college football so big there?
Well, it's because our two professional teams haven't been good in 40 years.
Devlin Hodges was the Pittsburgh quarterback,
and he threw for a touchdown, a pick, and 132 yards.
It's not bad.
You know what?
Great.
Let's get some new blood in there.
No more of this Roethlisberger nonsense.
Yeah.
So it looks like he's got some new.
Bortles!
Get Bortles.
Bortles!
I think Bortles is on the Rams, actually.
We need that Bortles.
He's the Rams backup.
Get him in there.
And he might be playing because the Rams golf isn't doing anything.
Wow, he did so bad.
13 of 24 for 78 yards.
Like, I could do that.
I'd be dead afterwards, but I could do it.
I don't know about that.
I guarantee you, I could get 78 yards.
I would love to see you out on the football field.
I guarantee I can get 78 yards. I would love to see you out on the football field.
You and like 320 pound linebackers are running at you.
Oh, yeah.
I could do that.
I would have serious injury.
And that's sports.
All right, Crandall.
What is our big news story of the day?
Big news story of the day.
Well, one big news story is that the mcrib is back that's true
did you get a package in the mail no i did oh i got a package in the mail oh my god
what i need to i can't spoil this for anyone right now all right i will simply say this week
go to my twitter at jesse cox i got a package
so earlier this week got an email from mcdonald's mcdonald's was like we'd like to send you some
things of course i was like oh my god why they're like well we saw people posting about the mccox
and crendor so keep it up everyone keep posting about it oh my god posting about it they're like
we saw people posting about mccox and crend and we love the idea, so we want to send you some things.
And I was like, what could they possibly send me?
Oh, did you reply to that email?
I did.
I didn't reply to it.
I need to reply to them and be like, send me McDonald's things.
I did.
I was like, sure, of course.
So they were like, we'll send you a big box of things to thank you.
And in my mind, I'm like, what the hell could be in a big box?
I assumed a gift card or something.
My dude.
Oh, my God.
In this box is the craziest things I've ever seen.
I got to reply to this email right now.
I can't even stress to you.
The things that are in this box, I've never seen anything like it.
I'm going to let you in on one of them.
On one thing.
I'm going to give you all a hint.
One of the things included was a Mccrib calendar oh my god the same illustration of a mcrib but in
the background every month is different background but it's the exact same but like pumpkins in one
and then it's like in snow in the next one and like the next one after that is this like like
summertime mcrib it's Here's the best part.
It's a McRib calendar that starts in October 2019 and ends in September 2020.
It doesn't even go a full year.
Oh, my God.
That's amazing.
It is.
It is incredible.
We were in the office like, wait, why doesn't it go until the end of next year?
We're like, wait, it doesn't even go until October next year.
Oh, my God, I need this right now.
Put it right on my desk.
Oh, my God.
So, yeah, go get your McRibs, get your jalapeno cheeseburger, and make a cox and creme d'or.
I think they actually brought the jalapeno cheeseburgers back. I haven't seen that. Or was it the jalapeno cheeseburger and mega cox and creme d'or i think they actually brought the jalapeno cheeseburgers back or i haven't seen that or was it the jalapeno mcchicken um well we have
different ones there's fish ones and there's like you know there's the mc guy hero and there's the
you know there's all sorts of different ones i feel like i've forgotten half of them though
we need to have a database yeah of this somebody needs to like send us a database
yeah i don't like a wick on a wiki somewhere we need to have this there yeah of this somebody needs to like send us a database yeah i don't like a
wick on a wiki somewhere we need to have this there so people can go there and really truly
experience it yeah so start tweeting your i think we have the episode titled like mccox and
go listen to that episode because we were not going to and then yeah no that's that
create those things and tweet it to us because that's one of my favorite things is seeing people be like,
look, I made the thing and now I'm eating it.
And I'm like, oh, my God.
And I always like it.
Yes.
Also include at McDonald's in it.
Oh, yeah.
So they know.
So they send us more weird shit because it is incredible.
There's one thing I love.
It's weird shit.
It is a giant box.
Oh, my God.
Crandor.
There's like 80 to 90 holiday cards i'm not gonna spoil the cards
but the cards are insane there's like there we should then oh my god we need to send these cards
to people we need to we need to have dan make a really weird photo and insert it into every card
and then send it to like random people. Just random people.
I love it.
Oh my God.
I still need to get my yearling McRib.
There's a lot.
There's a lot in there.
I don't know how I'm going to.
You know what?
I'm not going to spoil it.
Just I need to shut up.
It's too funny. I can tweet it out and then we'll talk about it like next week or something.
Yes.
Yes.
Severely.
Oh my God. Here it is it is oh boy here we go severely inebriated florida woman found standing in mcdonald's drive-thru
with toddler full circle baby she wanted that big rib a woman it's a Newport Richie.
There it is.
Of course it is.
Newport Richie returns.
This is his wife, Newport Rochelle.
Oh, my God.
She is 35, but that is like, oof.
That's a hard 35.
There you go. That's a hard, that's a, there you go.
That's a hard 35.
All right,
let me see.
Let me see Florida.
Oh my God.
She looks like she just came back from the war.
She does.
You know,
she looks like she's going to sing a song about gruel.
Can I have some more?
Oh,
I want to just help this woman.
Oh, my God.
A woman found standing in the middle of a drive-thru with a toddler on Thursday night is facing child neglect and possession charges.
The report says Melanie Hancocks, 35, was severely inebriated.
Not even inebriated.
Severely inebriated.
Severely, yeah.
When she was found unmoving in the drive-thru of the mcdonald's
on us 19 in port ritchie just before midnight do you think if she had just gone through the
drive-thru and moved everything would have been fine but she was like holding up the line and
people got pissed well she probably just passed out she would have like passed out her car and
just not moved in the drive-thru anyway, and people would get pissed.
I'd be pissed.
I'd want my quarter pounder.
Hancocks was standing in the drive-thru with a three-year-old child as vehicles drove around them.
She was arrested and found to be in possession of methadone hydrochloride.
I don't even know what that is.
Sounds about right.
And Alprazolam.
I think that's Xanax.
Alprazolam? I think that's Xanax. Alprazolam?
That's like Xanax. And I only know because I have the most small dose of Xanax you can have.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
All right.
Because otherwise, listen, I don't want to get addicted to this shit.
All right, Jesse Pinkman.
All right, let's see.
I will say, though, when they gave me, okay, when I got my gallbladder out, they gave me like 20 hydrocodones.
And I made sure I only took like a maximum of like two if I was in really bad pain.
Because that stuff is like, I was like, this is why soccer moms get addicted to pills.
Because that stuff's like, you pull like a Kramer.
Because that stuff's like you pull like a kramer because that stuff's like jerry i only took like 10 of them for my gallbladder thing so i had 10 left so i was like all right i won't throw them
out so i took them when i had streets i took them when i had my toenails removed and so i uh i would
like be sitting there like with my toes all wrapped up playing wow and I was playing BFA and I was like dude playing the auction house is so fun and I was like oh my god that's how I know
these things are strong I'm having fun playing BFA so I was like dude have you ever seen an orc's butt? Those things are so flat.
It makes you have a really happy high.
And I was like, man, I want more of these, but I don't want more of these.
So watch out for that, kids.
You are not selling sobriety very well.
I didn't want any more, but I kind of wanted more.
You can't sell sobriety.
It's like, listen, they're pretty fun if you take those, right but don't take them because what's the thing i was taking like one
all right one is a good time okay because you're like hey one leaves the two two leads to it like
more only if you let it like i cap myself well here's the thing i also got him because i was
in actual pain from surgery and like like, toenail removal, right?
That's true.
Grendor earned his legal high.
I wasn't just taking them like, ah, it's a Wednesday.
Time to take my hydrocodone.
So, you know.
It's time for mama's little help here.
I earned my pain relief.
But, yeah, I haven't, you know.
There's, like, crazy people that are just like, I have pain.
I stabbed my jaw for, like, no reason.
Give me pain pills. It's like
Jesus. Well, and then they end up in the
drive-thru at McDonald's. Just start drinking like
everyone else. So anyway,
Hancocks is charged with two
counts of possession. Wait, that's it? Where's the follow-up?
There's no follow-up.
We never get a follow-up. We never find
out what happened to them, why she was on the
truck, where that baby came from.
Was it her kid? Yeah, like it might not even
have been her kid. We don't know.
What if it was just a baby?
What if it was just a three-year-old
and she had someone's kid? We don't know.
We never have answers. We never get answers.
Ohio McDonald's customer left with
broken nose and shattered cheekbone
after fight with manager over wrong
order. I came in there ordering kids meals.
Wait, what'd they get?
I don't know. Let's find out.
Wait, are you telling me you came in for a kids meal,
got something more than a kids meal, and was like,
I'm so mad I wanted that toy.
Brittany, Brittany Price, not Brittany, Brittany,
became embroiled in a heated confrontation with the manager
of the Coleraine
Township store after going in to
complain about mistakes in an order for
cheeseburger and happy meals.
A police report named the McDonald's
manager... Oh, cheeseburger and happy meals!
She said
happy meals. A police
report named the McDonald's manager
as Nashonda Johnson noting she was questioned by officers about the woman's allegations the McDonald's manager as Nashonda Johnson,
noting she was questioned by officers about the woman's allegations.
Oh, you know Nashonda Johnson don't take shit.
Oh, yeah, she ain't letting you get those cheeseburgers.
Oh, hell no, you're screwed, man.
Give it up and go home.
And the report said Johnson stated as a reaction,
she began throwing food objects back at Ms. Price when food objects
struck Ms. Price in the face leaving an injury. Witnesses at the scene noticed Johnson had
retaliated and began throwing food back. In an on-air segment, Price could be seen with a severely
bruised left eye and what appeared to be cuts or stitches along her nose and cheekbones. The woman
said the manager may have had an object in her hand. She was over the counter, so
I think she literally swung with something over the counter
and hit me with the face with it.
Price elaborated. Temperatures
were high. You know, everybody was a little
hostile, but at the end of the day, I came in there
ordering kids meals. I didn't come in
there to have a brawl, you know?
It remains unclear what type of object was involved.
Price said she'd be undergoing
surgery.
Man, I hope it was like an apple pie.
No one ever orders those things.
They just sit there, and I imagine they're like molten lava. Yeah, rock hard.
Rock hard, and then you break it open, and it's molten lava.
Oh, yeah.
I would love to see someone get hit in the face with an apple pie,
with one of those warm apple pies.
So, yeah, comment below as well if you've ordered an apple pie before
and if it was Rock Hard or Molten Lava.
Man, those things, now I kind of want one.
I haven't had a McDonald's apple pie thing in, I'm going to say, maybe 25 years.
Maybe since I was a kid.
Yeah, I think I haven't had one in, like, maybe 15 to 20 years.
Right?
And every time when I worked there, old people would come in every Sunday and be like,
Cup of coffee and one of your apple pie.
Oh, my God.
And then if you tweet us your McDonald's apple pies you order, they might send us apple pie calendars.
Y'all, here's the real challenge.
Here's the real challenge here's the real challenge we're gonna we need to have
one called the mick sloth and the mick sloth and sloth door the we need we need a good name
help me out here i don't have a name uh The McApple Sloth. The Appleberry Sloth.
Oh, my.
The Appleberry.
All right.
The McAppleberry.
The McAppleberry is one apple pie and put in a McRib.
No way.
If anyone orders this,
that is...
You are a true hero.
You're a soul.
Do they even sell apple pies
in McDonald's anymore?
Oh, the McAppleberry.
I just typed in McDonald's
Appley Pie.
They definitely do. They definitely do still
sell them. I see them on the menu all the time.
Yes, they do.
It actually isn't as
bad as I thought it would be nutrition-wise.
All I'm saying is, if you
want,
you can start the trend
of getting a mc appleberry
d apostrophe appleberry yeah and you actually so m-e-c capital d apostrophe appleberry right
if you get one of these tweet at us and m McDonald's. Apple pie on that McRib.
You gotta let us know.
I will never do this.
I don't want to die.
But someone out there who has a death wish, we're counting on you.
We need to live vicariously through you.
We know you're listening.
We know one of you out there is crazy enough to do this.
Send us that photo.
Please. Please.
Please do it.
Do it tomorrow if you can or today.
Here's the thing.
Potentially, couldn't the pork and apple go together?
It actually kind of could.
Couldn't it?
Maybe we've come up with something that's like when people found out you could dip French fries into Frosties at Wendy's.
Dude, my mom used to make a pork pork roast with like cinnamon apples it's like
pretty much the same that's what i'm saying except this says barbecue sauce which is probably insane
yeah but but what if you could get one without barbecue sauce oh my god you probably could
what if you could say no barbecue sauce on my mcrib please and then they put on the apple pie
oh my god okay you can't so you can't get barbecue sauce you have to get the apple pie. Oh my god. Okay, you can't get barbecue sauce.
You have to get the apple pie
and put it on instead.
Here's the thing.
As a person who worked
at McDonald's,
I know this might have changed,
but I seem to recall
that what they would do
is they would grill
the patties,
the fake-ass pork patties,
and then they would dump them
in the barbecue sauce,
like a big vat,
and they'd sit there and keep hot that's how they cook them keep hot yeah i guess my question is could they grill
up the patty and then not could you say i want to make rib but not in the sauce what would that
even taste like what would that would that have a taste we need one of you we need one of you
who's patient enough to wait for them to grill one of those things for you,
then put the apple pie on it and eat that thing.
Is it delicious?
Have we created a new menu item?
We may have gone too far.
Some say we're using our power for evil instead of good.
Listen, you got to try it.
You have to try it. No, I'm curious.
You have to try it.
Well, let us know what happens when you do,
and then hit us up on one of our socials.
Crandor, hit them with a social.
We have so many socials.
YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast.
If you want to go into the backlog,
find the old Cox and Crandor McDonald's episode
from like a year ago or whatever it was,
or listen to all our episodes.
You can also go to SoundCloud.
We're on there.
We're on iTunes.
We're on Spotify.
We're all over.
Also, youtube.com slash Cox and Crandall.
All one word.
If you just want to see the animations that Dan makes,
they're very funny.
More funny than us.
Also, you can go to twitter.com slash Crandall
or twitter.com slash Jesse Cox.
Facebook.com slash Crandall.
Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Crandall. Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. Facebook.com slash Crendor. Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox.
YouTube.com slash Crendor.
YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox.
Twitch.tv slash Crendor.
Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox.
Please watch us.
We need help.
We need help.
That's for sure.
That's all I'm saying.
All right.
Well, that's it for us.
Thank you so much for listening or watching or whatever the hell you're doing, wherever you're at.
We'll be back next week with another episode.
That's it.
Thank you.
And as always, I'm going to roll some dice.
Two, three, four.
To be continued.