Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 218 - Of Mermaids and Minshew
Episode Date: November 4, 2019The boys are back with another episode and this time they make a pack to try the new chicken sandwich everyone can't shut up about! Why is it so popular?! Also Crendor takes us on a trip through some ...of Nic Cages most recent movies and Jesse discovers his new hero. Meanwhile Minshew is back blowing minds and mermaids have sex with a 70 year old man! All this and more on an all new Cox n' Crendor! To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to http://meundies.com/crendor Quip starts at just $25 and if you go to http://getquip.com/CRENDOR right now, you can get your first refill pack for FREE.
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Today's episode is brought to you by Quip.
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Got my teeth looking nice and something so fresh, so clean.
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Hello everybody it's time
For Ghost on Trending
This is Trending in the morning
In the morning
Broadcasting live live live live
In 4 hour recording studio
Recording Wake your ass up We're broadcasting live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live Man, losing my voice. I go too hard. I go too hard.
What did you go too hard on this time?
Just talking to people too much.
That's true.
You do that a lot.
I do not shut up ever.
So that is a problem of mine.
You went to like a billion things in the last like five days or whatever.
Yeah.
Went to Boston, came back, went to a convention.
I'm just like out of voice.
I think if I didn't have to do this, I would literally be watching TV quiet all day.
I wouldn't say a word.
I feel that.
But alas, here I am.
What are you doing in Boston?
We did a Chaluminati show, which is one of the other 12 million podcasts I'm on.
I must say, you're saying Chaluminati show, which is one of the other 12 million podcasts I'm on. I must say, you're saying it's a Chalupa.
Went to Boston, ate a Chalupa, got one of those Popeye's chicken sandwiches,
called it a life.
Apparently, by the way, did you read this article?
Hold on.
I need to find the exact quote for this article because it is hilarious.
I like hilarity.
I feel like this is almost sports, but I don't care.
Deshaun Watson, secret to a speedy recovery?
Popeye's spicy chicken sandwich, of course.
Oh my God.
Deshaun Watson credits the Popeye's chicken sandwich with healing his eye.
That's why I won today's game.
I never thought it would be the case, but I guess I'm wrong.
Yeah, that's what he said it
is it is amazing my favorite part is that if you scroll down one of the immediate comments afterwards
is uh this guy wrote ordered popeyes on postmates my driver just called me he's like
this shit is too crazy here dog i don't know why this show suddenly like
suddenly i don't know why this show got so suddenly um apparently popeye's chicken sandwich
is back today and it is big news in the u.s i don't know if you're aware of this world
but here in here in the u.s it is huge i haven't tried it yet which you either of i i don't know
i don't know anything about it i actually did watch review bra uh review it he said it was
pretty good i mean yeah i don't know everyone's like it's the best chicken sandwich i've ever had
yeah but i don't know anything about it i've never had it. What makes it so good? Why is it the best chicken sandwich ever?
I don't know.
I couldn't tell you.
I don't know these things.
I feel like we need to deep dive and figure this out.
Maybe get one this week.
I feel like we each need to do it.
It's like how we tried the McRib that one year or two ago,
but this year we got to try the Popeye's chicken.
You already tried it, didn't you?
No, I've never had this chicken sandwich ever.
Not once.
Oh, you said you went to Boston and got one.
No, I was joking.
Yeah, I feel like you need to get it, I need to get it,
and then we got to just review it for next week.
Agreed. Agreed.
So that's going to be our mission this week
is we're going to try that Popeye's chicken sandwich.
And I want to see, like, yeah,
why is everybody lining up in the streets for this
thing well apparently the spicy one's very very good that's like the one to get i guess okay
go on twitter and look up popeyes and you'll see people are like it's already going down at popeyes
oh my god i just watched a fight sandwich oh my god the madness at popeyes begins
a dude showed up with a suitcase
He's like I want all your chicken sandwiches
Yeah I don't know why it's such a big
Like there has to be
It has to be good right
Like when McDonald's or Wendy's has one
Everyone's not like
You need to get the Wendy's chicken sandwich
That's what I'm saying
That's what I'm saying
I don't understand
why it's such a next level.
Like, you gotta try it.
Maybe it's the sauce.
I don't know.
Either way, I'm gonna get one.
Maybe it's the sauce.
I'll get one this week
and I'm gonna let you know
and then you get one
and then next week
we'll save our opinions
until the next episode. We won't talk about it to anybody and then next week. Well like we'll save our opinions until the next episode
We won't talk about it to anybody and then next week. We'll be like all right
I won't I won't let anyone know I've even eaten one. I will keep it to myself. Oh
My god, hold on hold on this guy. I'm gonna need to watch this video. All right copy link here you go
This is for you.
It's this video of this guy.
I think he's being interviewed.
They're like, show us the sandwich. He pulls up the sandwich, and he's like, look at this.
Look at all this meat.
And it looks meaty.
It looks like a meaty sandwich.
And then they're like, will you take a bite out for us?
He takes a bite.
He's like, oh, man man let me go in my car he's like oh jesus thank you and then they're like what's it he's
like a whole lot of love i love that he goes, thank Jesus.
Now that's a man that loves his chicken sandwich.
Look, I want to have that experience.
I do too.
So yeah, that's a pretty neat thing.
Yeah, I mean that happened.
I don't know how we got on that.
Apparently, I'm obsessed with this sandwich.
Yeah, we got on it because I thought you ate it.
And then you didn't eat it. You just made it up.
No, I just made a joke for the goof cuz it's back. I see yeah, so we definitely got that
I almost said we got to watch that but that would be accurate. We got to watch that
I mean there's a lot of stuff to watch people are posting videos of driving by
Popeyes chicken and the lines are like blocks and blocks long
Oh my god speaking of things to watch everyone's been tweeting us
the new nicholas cage thing uh apparently there's a new nicholas cage movie where he's the it's like
five nights at freddy's or something yes uh so yeah it's like it's wally's wonderland is what
it's called uh let me read this. Nicolas Cage is set to
produce and star in Wally's Wonderland,
a horror thriller from director
Kevin Lewis and writer Gio
Parsons. The film will
see Cage portraying a janitor who
is forced to spend the night in a twisted
amusement park where he is pulled
into a living nightmare as the
threatening animatronic characters
come to life the janitor
has to fight his way from one monster to another sounds like a perfect movie in the morning sounds
like a perfect movie this sounds so good if they let nick cage nick cage this could be the greatest
movie ever made you know he's gonna like whack some like giant mole rat animatronic guy and he'll
be like get out of my face you fucking rat or some shit like that
and i'm gonna be so happy if that's in there well we don't have to wait long for another
nick cage movie because right now 2019 released on amazon prime nick cage in the movie kill chain
let me just read you this little ditty.
A hotel room shootout between two assassins kicks off a long night where bodies fall like dominoes.
As we follow a chain of crooked cops, gangsters, hitmen, a femme fatale, and an ex-mercenary through a relay of murder, betrayal, revenge, and redemption.
All that takes place in an hour and 31 minutes including titles and credits wait the best part is it's labeled action suspense art house it's not even on rotten
tomatoes uh there's two movies he made i haven't seen yet but they're not that movie there's no there's three four
there's a score to settle which has a 15 on rotten tomatoes with an audience score of course
it's slightly better 18 uh diagnosed with a fatal condition frankie carver nicholas cage
is released from prison after serving 19
years of hard time with only a short time to live frankie must desperately try to make amends with
the son he left behind while he plots a bloody course of revenge tracking down his old gang
to make them pay one by one oh this is one of those movies where at the end he's like i'm dying
son and then it sounds like i forgive you dad the end he's like, I'm dying, son. And then the son's like, I forgive you, dad.
The end.
Yeah, and then he gets revenge on like all his old gang members.
Sure, of course.
Of course.
Then there was Running with the Devil.
It's about a cocaine shipment is compromised to the dismay of a drug cartel CEO known simply as the boss. He orders his most trusted henchman. The cook.
And his partner.
Another master drug trafficker.
Known as the man.
On a dangerous journey.
To audit the company's supply chain.
As the drugs make their perilous trek. Across international borders.
Past gangsters, refiners and couriers.
They are also being tracked by the FBI.
And federal agents.
When the cook realizes where the network is breaking down,
it may be too late to keep the cartel satisfied.
Can I ask you a question?
Do you think Nick Cage is either the cook or the man?
I feel like he's the man.
I feel like he's the cook.
I don't know.
Right?
Because I imagine him being like, we got to get this Coke across the border.
Come on, man.
And the man's like, I don't know, dude.
This is a lot of sweet nose candy.
Looks like Nicolas Cage is the cook.
I knew it.
See?
Lawrence Fishburne is the man.
Natalia Reyes is the woman
Adam Goldberg is the snitch
Hold on first off
Spoilers first off spoilers
But also I love
That Laurence Fishburne is in this movie
Yeah
He's the man
He's the man
Yep
It's uh It actually has like very it is 5.4 on imdb so i mean it's a solid like
mediocre movie well what's the third film the third film is the cotton club encore
i don't know what this could be in In the lavish 1930s era drama,
Harlem Legendary Cotton Club becomes a hotbed of passion and violence
as the lives and loves of entertainers and gangsters collide.
Now, Francis Ford Coppola Extraordinary Film
has brought a new life.
Coppola.
The Cotton Club encore, featuring never-before-seen scenes
and musical sequences that deepen and enrich the storylines.
This remastered beautifully.
Wait, it's just a remake of a movie?
Is this...
I think it might just be a documentary, too.
Is Nick Cage...
What is Nick Cage?
Is Nick Cage so old he was at the Cotton Club back in the day?
It's like, he's in this movie with Lauren Fishburne.
Or Lawrence Fishburne.
Lauren Fishburne! Lauren Fishburne. Lauren Fishburne.
Lauren Fishburne and Capilla finally together.
Frankie Ford Capilla and Lauren Fishburne.
Oh, my God.
But in five days,
Nicolas Cage will come out in primal.
He's starring in this one.
When Frank Walsh, Nicolas Cage, a hunter and collector of rare and exotic animals,
bags a priceless white jaguar for a zoo,
he figures it'll be a smooth sailing to a big payday.
But the ship bearing Frank's precious cargo has two predators caged in its hold the cat
and a political assassin being extradited to the u.s after the assassin breaks free and then frees
the jaguar frank feverishly stalks the ship cramped corridors in hot pursuit of his prey
right up until the thrilling unpredictable unpredictable climax. I mean, I don't even know what they could mean by thrilling, unpredictable climax.
I'm intrigued.
I'll give it that.
Yeah.
What if the boat just sinks and they all die?
Like, gotcha.
Yeah.
That would be thrilling and unpredictable.
It would, yeah.
Yeah.
That would be thrilling and unpredictable.
It would, yeah.
It's also got Famke Jansen, Kevin Durand, LaMonica Garrett, and Michael Imperioli.
So, I mean, actual names of people.
Yeah.
I mean, they're not called the boss and the woman, so that's good.
Yeah.
It has, what's her face?
Jean Grey.
So, Jean Grey or Xenia Onatop, if you're a Bond fan.
There are some movies in the works from Nicolas Cage.
For 2020, that is.
Okay, everyone has to be updated on Nick Cage's future.
Yeah, because all the movies, I feel like we covered all the movies last year that he made.
And now we're all caught up, so we need to get in there again.
So we've got Kill Chain.
Is this the one you were talking about?
Yes, that's the one that is out right now.
Okay.
Then there's Grand Isle, which is completed and coming out December 6th. A young father is charged for murder and must prove his innocence through recalling a very twisted and dark night of events.
And there's some weird pictures.
Sold me, I guess.
He's Walter, the main character.
Detective Jones is played by Kelsey Grammer.
What?
Yep.
Frazier himself?
So it's Frazier and Cage.
Frazier Cage.
Also, the pictures of Nicolas Cage.
Look at these photos I'm going to send you right here.
If you're listening, just go look up Grand Isle on IMDb and look at the photos.
What the hell?
It's like him on a car.
Looks like he's explaining where to find weed at.
He does look like he's like,
all right, so this is where I think the weed would be.
And then it just looks like him walking around in a drunken stupor.
I'm trying to...
So he looks like he's a...
Is this a period movie?
How do you...
All right, Grand Isle. I don't know what this movie's about.
What I do know is that the top
part looks like it's a period
piece with a very old Kelsey Grammer.
Nick Cage, who looks like
he came back from war.
And his wife, who looks like she's
at Dapper Day at Disney.
Oh wow, she does.
And then below them
is a house being ripped apart by not just a tornado,
but, like, lightning and, I think, a monster in the background.
Like, I don't know what's happening.
I can at least see a couple, like, pterodactyls flying around.
Right?
There's, like, clearly a giant claw or something.
I don't know what's going on here.
And then it just says, a storm is coming, Grand Isle.
I don't even know whatever
that means so that's a month from now does he have a movie like every month nick cage is doing it so
so then there's prisoners of the ghost lane a notorious criminal must break an evil curse in
order to rescue an abducted girl who has mysteriously disappeared. That's all we know about that one. What?
Then we've got Pig.
A truffle hunter who lives alone
in the Oregonian wilderness
must return to his past
in Portland in search of
his beloved foraging pig
after she is kidnapped.
Now that's a movie
I want to see.
Who stole my pig?
I think we should do a Cox and Crandor live.
Where instead of it's just a live show, it's just us watching this movie.
We rent a theater and invite people and just watch.
Oh my god, that's so funny.
Go watch Party for Pig. invite people and just watch oh no oh my god that's so funny for pig
then we have man jujitsu a new sci-fi martial arts franchise from dimitri logothesis
and it is starring nicholas cage as wiley with marie Garoppolo as Myra.
Then you got a bunch of other people.
So this looks like it's actually in the works and I don't know if it's a show.
Wait, what?
Yeah, it says a new sci-fi martial arts franchise called Jiu Jitsu and Nick Cage stars in it.
But like as what?
A martial artsman?
Right.
But oh no.
Oh no.
Go about.
It's picture 28 of 38.
It says, I don't know what that means,
but it's Nick Cage through the camera and he looks like Raiden.
They're making him Raiden.
I don't know why or how, but he is the Raiden of this franchise.
All right.
Wait.
Okay.
Nicolas Cage sci-fi jujitsu becomes first film to use new Cypriot cash rebate.
What the shit is this?
I don't even know how to pronounce that. What the shit is this i don't even know how to pronounce that what the hell is this
the 27 million dollar film will be shot entirely in cyprus taking advantage of a program that gives
productions the option to choose between cash rate rebate or tax credit and also benefit from
tax discounts on investments made on equipment and infrastructure.
Okay.
Based on the comic book of the same name, which Logothetis wrote with Jim McGrath,
the film features Mousy as a jujitsu fighter who every six years must face off against an alien invader.
Cage's character teams up with him in a battle to defeat brax
well that is not what i expected this movie to be about at all uh yeah no i didn't expect that
no and then there's a wally's wonderland which is the uh one where he's in the theme park and then there's ten double zero uh det damon reeves is an infamous
wait is infamous for crossing the line when he has to after oh detective
i don't know why i put it in all caps after several officers are killed in a brazen public shootout with bank robbers,
Reeves and his partner, Detective Angela Laveau, set out on a personal vendetta to hunt down the cop killers.
As they get close to solving the crime, they soon find themselves targets of conspiracy in the ranks of the police force
as the investigation leads right back to them.
Who is in this movie this is nicholas cage sophia pernas muriel pelio
jessica uberagua that's a cool last name yo i don't know who any of these people are but like
this is a movie who paul sloan dude who's paul sloan he starred in The Scorpion King with The Rock in 2002.
How do you remember Paul Sloan?
I don't like that you know that.
I don't like that that's a thing you know.
He was...
Who was he in this movie?
Hold on.
Hold on.
I'm looking.
Paul...
He was Soldier.
What? He was soldier. What?
He was soldier.
You know, I don't.
Here's the thing.
He's right.
I don't know what credits of Talani Rob as harem girl and Marcus Young as Asian training fighter.
He was soldier.
Of course he was.
I don't know what this movie 10 double zero is really about.
But besides Nicolas Cage, the first six main cast members are literally all gorgeous women.
They are like incredibly beautiful Hispanic women.
And I'm just like, all right, nice.
It looks like they all do TV series.
She was in The Young and the Restless.
Isn't that a soap opera?
Yeah, that's a soap opera.
It's got like episode 1.10915.
That's like episode 1 million.
Yes, of course, Young and the Restless.
Yeah.
Yeah, so she was on that as Marissa Sierras.
Then she was on Jane the Virgin as Catalina.
And then she's on The Brave
as Hannah Rivera. Then she's
on Blood and Treasure as Lexi
Vizzieri. So she's like all over TV.
There are a lot
of beautiful women in this.
But I think we're passing over the beautiful men.
Scroll down to Mike Lobo
Daniel playing Big Jim.
Oh my god. He looks like he used to be in a metal band Big Jim. Oh my god. He looks like
he used to be in a metal band
and then he just gave up. He looks amazing.
I don't know what. He seems like
a stunt guy but like alright.
He looks like the guy that made the like let the bodies
hit the floor. But like
grew his beard out. Here's the thing. He's known
for his work in
Amerageddon,
Segfault, and The Sector.
Amerageddon?
What the hell is that movie?
Of course, Amerageddon 2016, a fictional depiction of a future
wherein a globalist terrorist organization aligned with the United Nations
to disable the United States power grid and institute martial law.
It will take a dedicated family of patriots,
armed withong survival skills
and the remains of the second
amendment to save America
and reclaim its
freedom
I really want to watch
what this movie is
oh my god
oh my god
holy shit so God. Oh my God.
Holy shit.
So American.
I don't know if you looked at the other people in this,
but Alex Jones
is in this movie
as Senator Reed.
Oh my God.
Literally, I believe
this. I believe this.
I believe he is definitely
Nation allowed with the United Nations is a little United States progress new martial law do you not even know what?
To kill me the turn of the cage
My god, this is gonna be a quality movie, you know my favorite part about this is Oh my god.
This has got to be a quality movie.
You know what my favorite part about this is?
In this movie.
Johnny Crews.
That's right.
Lucio from Overwatch.
He plays Timmies.
I know you probably skipped over this name because it's insane.
Okay. But in this movie is Jordan Dragon King. king jordan dragon king wait that's his last name
yes jordan dragon king his nickname is jay let me just give you a mini bio
hmm a king soul pin your Artist And world citizen
Jordan Dragon King
Was raised in Arlington, Texas
Intelligent
Confident
Eloquent
And exceptionally handsome
Jordan Dragon King
Since the beginning has been a trailblazer
Dragon King
Discovered acting at a young age, however
He would not pursue the craft professionally
Until later in his
life. He attended the University of North
Texas, where he completed his BS in
entrepreneurship. Dragon King
has worked with the Dallas Theater Center,
Kitchen Dog, and Jubilee
Theater, as well as the premier
Zane's Other Side of the Pillow
as The Anthony.
As The Anthony? What does that mean?
It's him. The Anthony. As the Anthony? What does that mean? It's him.
The Anthony.
Recently, Dragon King has refocused his energy towards television,
landing a recurring role on NBC's Revolution as Lieutenant Vanik.
In 2012, he and his family decided to end their relationship with their previous slave names
in order to legally and spiritually establish the Dragon King family legacy.
in order to legally and spiritually establish the Dragon King family legacy.
Their family philosophy is rooted in the mantra of follow your heart with sovereignty.
Holy shit.
Who is this guy?
All I know is he plays angry guy in this movie.
This is things he said.
I think this guy might be my favorite person ever.
Every day is our bank account and time is our currency.
No one is rich.
No one is poor.
We all get 24 hours each sunrise.
What?
Here's another quote. In order to lead, we must be willing to deal with the blind.
Deal with the blind.
Deal with the blind.
What?
Who is?
Oh, my God.
How come there's no photo of this guy?
Okay.
I found his Instagram.
And it has four pictures.
Four.
He has 102 followers.
pictures four he has 102 followers one of them is him standing in front of snowfall fxp at like a event for something then there's one that says share a coke with king then there's
one of him with a girl from like the twin peaks restaurant where they wear like booty shorts and
the tied up like plaid top thing.
And then there's one of him like filming something.
And then there's a few shots of the film and his face is in it. And it says, remember, megastar talent all across the board.
Well done.
I am like, I love this dude.
Dragon King.
I mean, like if you were going to pick a last name, if you're going to be like, I'm getting rid of my slave if you were gonna pick a last name if you're gonna be
like i'm getting rid of my slave name and i'll pick a last name dragon king he goes all out i
mean i believe it oh my god dragon king those are all nick cage movies i mean yeah we learned
here's the thing do you think nick cage is grooming a next generation of Nick Cages?
And Dragon King is 100% one of them.
Oh, no doubt.
No doubt in my mind.
Although he probably wasn't even in that.
I don't think he was in that movie.
I think he was in another movie.
I don't think they actually know each other.
Nick Cage, find Dragon King.
He's got to find him.
I just can't believe that he kept the name jordan and not just
dragon king yeah i don't know that's weird but like it's not weird it's awesome at the same time
it's like incredibly awesome i wish i had the balls to live my life like i'm jesse dragon king hello i don't i don't have i don't have those balls but i i i do have the balls to
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Also today, we're brought to you by Quip.
What is the best way to show up to your Thanksgiving dinner?
You're probably saying, finally have a boyfriend or girlfriend so your parents will leave you alone.
Finally have a kid.
I don't know what that means.
Finally have a kid so they'll shut up about not having grandkids.
But I say the best thing to do is show up with a bright smile.
Flash that smile on them and they're going to be like, oh, don't worry.
You'll find love. It's not you. It's clearly them because you've got such a bright smile, flash that smile on them. And they're going to be like, Oh, don't worry. You'll find love.
It's not you.
It's clearly them because you've got such a charming smile.
Yep.
That's where I'm going with this.
Quip can help you get the best smile possible.
Quip makes brushing easier, right?
It takes all of the guesswork out of how long have I been brushing?
How long do I need to brush?
What's the appropriate time for brushing?
How much, you know, it makes it easier to have a bright smile and keep the dentist off your butt too.
Because, you know, they're always like, did you brush your teeth?
Did you floss?
All that stuff.
This can help with that.
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The mirror mount that comes with it, you put it right on your mirror.
You'll always remember it's right there.
There's a timer, right, built in.
It vibrates every 30 seconds to let you know to switch it up in your mouth.
It's lightweight. It's compact. You can bring it with you wherever you go.
Quip is the perfect toothbrush for you. And it's going to help you smile away,
listening to your crazy uncle talk about whatever crazy thing he's talking about.
The most important part is that brush heads are automatically delivered to you
every three months. It's a dentist recommended schedule. You always hear like, you know,
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They will send you a friendly email reminder to be like,
yo,
it's on the way.
And you'll get a bunch of toothpaste and other things to help you with the
process of brushing your teeth and keeping you committed to good oral health
because really three fourths of us,
I think what, like 70s over 75% use worn out bristles. to good oral health. Because really, three-fourths of us,
I think what, like 70, over 75%, use worn out bristles that are ineffective.
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They even have a kid's brush now.
It's the same as the original, but it's smaller for kids.
So this is why you're going to love Quip.
I love it.
Crandor loves it.
We use it all the time.
It helps our teeth stay nice and bright.
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Trust me, it'll make you
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teeth. Alright, Crendor, let's
get it.
Let's get it.
Well, tell you what, it's traffic time because it's getting it up. So this guy the creditor. I'll let you have a go there Well, tell you what it's traffic time because it's getting traffic gear
I don't know word that is or if that's a word, but it's a word now. So
Yeah, you take a look outside. It's getting colder out everywhere. It's getting darker out everywhere
Normally right now for me. It's like 830, but now it's 730
So it makes me feel better when i go to sleep
earlier and wake up earlier even though it's the same time but kind of different uh but hey and
i'll take what i can get aside from that dude it's only like what one two three three weeks away from
thanksgiving four weeks three weeks one two three what the shit all right well three and a half i
guess kind of but either way man you going to get people flying all over.
They're heading out.
They're getting ready to go, you know, eat.
And thanks.
They're givens.
So I don't know what I'm talking about.
There's cars out there. Back to you.
All right, Crandor, thanks.
Let's go to weather time.
Welcome to the weather desk.
How's it going?
I mean, it's nice.
Weather's pretty okay here.
Well, here it's cold.
Well, actually, it wasn't too bad today.
It was like 50s.
Honestly, here's the thing.
When you get anything above 40, it's still like not too cold.
Once you drop below that, then you start getting like, eh, you know, 30s are okay if there's no wind.
But when that wind hits, ooh, that's when you start being like, you get that wind chill.
So let's go somewhere.
Talk about the weather.
Let's go to, is there a place called Travel?
Travelers Rest, South Carolina.
Wow, that's actually like a dope name.
If this was like the post-apocalypse, that would be a great town.
We must go to Traveler's Rest.
In Traveler's Rest, it's 45 degrees.
It's clear and it feels like 45 degrees.
That's pretty neat.
It's clear.
It feels like 45 degrees.
It's clear.
It's nice.
It's everything. I was going to say everything It's clear. It's nice. It's everything.
I was going to say everything nice, but then that didn't even rhyme.
Well, it's like a rap, though.
You can make it rhyme if you make people forget you just said that word two seconds ago.
That was like Lil Wayne's thing.
He'd be like, yeah, I got money.
You think I know that I don't got money?
And then you'd be like, wait, did he just rhyme money with money?
I don't remember, but it's flowing.
Anyway, it's clear skies.
Low 36.
Winds light and variable.
Love those light and variable winds.
Humidity, 81%.
That's some high humidity.
But only three mile an hour wind, which is a pretty light and a pretty variable wind, honestly.
Shut up.
Shut up. Shut up.
You got Monday.
You're coming in at a nice 60 degrees Fahrenheit.
Zero percent chance of rain.
So get on outside.
Enjoy that.
You got your UV index at 3 out of 10.
You got a Monday night at 46 degrees.
Tuesday's going to be 70.
So you're going right back up.
Right back up the old temperature train.
And then that's actually the warmest
day because then it's going to start falling. 66
66 50 51
58 65 55
56 58 57. So they're dropping
into the 50s over there.
Watch out.
Travelers rest going to start to
wearing blankets.
I don't know.
Yep.
Yep.
That's all I got.
I don't know is the proper answer.
I don't know.
They'll probably need blankets, right?
That's the weather.
All right.
Let's go to sports.
Sports.
Ayo, welcome to the sports desk.
How's it going? I mean, let's find out. I don't know Ayo, welcome to the sports desk. How's it going?
I mean, let's find out.
I don't know.
I haven't seen the sports scores.
You see, the thing is, now I keep asking you about the sports desk, right?
But I just asked you, well, I was at the weather desk, so it's kind of like two different people
are saying, how's it going?
But really, it's kind of like the same person asking you.
Wow. We're so meta. It's kind of like the same person asking you. Wow.
We're so meta.
It's trying to blow your mind a little bit.
I mean, it's blown all right.
Yeah.
I would imagine so.
Oh, yeah.
I also saw you commented on my Instagram.
I did.
Once again, you're one buff hand.
Dude.
I need to see both hands, Crandor, or the jokes won't stop.
If you're only going to show me one buff hand, you know the jokes I'm going to make.
Well, then I'll make another post.
Just the other arm.
It's the same exact picture.
It's just my other arm.
So, where am I?
Oh, yeah.
Sports.
Sports desk.
Yeah.
There you are.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, how's it going?
So, we had football today.
Well, on Thursday night, 49ers beat the Cardinals.
The Texans beat the Jaguars in London.
The Bills beat the Redskins, which isn't hard to do.
The Chiefs beat the Vikings, thank God,
because the Packers lost today in a shit show game against the Chargers.
Miami beat the Jets, as the Jets uh miami beat the jets as the jets have probably
fallen to the worst team in the nfl uh actually no that'd be the bengals the bengals haven't won
a game yet but uh jets have now been surpassed by the dolphins as probably like the third worst
team so really it's a loss for them because they get a worse draft pick in this case uh eagles beat the bears the steelers
beat the colts who miss a last second field goal uh the panthers beat the titans the raiders beat
the lions the buccaneers lose the shootout in seattle 40 to 34 broncos beat the browns as
people still thought the browns would be good this year. They're not.
They just won two games.
Yeah, we had a brief moment where we thought, but we thought wrong.
Yeah.
Yeah, we thought wrong.
Joke's on them.
My team's 7-2 now, even though we lost, but I'll take it.
Whatever.
They get to play the Redskins in like a week or two.
That's like we're already at eight wins.
Then over in hockey news, we hop over to hockey.
Oh, yeah, the World Series.
The Washington Nationals won the World Series.
So crazy there.
Nobody really thought the Nationals were going to win.
I was in a bar in Boston when it happened,
and I was so out of it.
I looked over and was like, oh, the World Series is over.
All right.
I was like, okay, cool.
The World Series is over.
Okay.
Where's my hockey standings?
Here we are.
Washington, speaking of Washington, is the best team in the NHL as well.
Washington is dominating the sports sports what is going on then boston new york islanders buffalo still
at the top but they've slowed down a bit uh and then uh we had i don't know what else nba
nba standings the nba is kind of a shit show right now. The Warriors have all their players injured.
So they're actually doing terrible for the first time in like 10 years.
The 76ers are 5-0.
The Heat 4-1.
Celtics 4-1.
Bucks, Raptors 4-2.
Over in the other division, we got the Spurs, Timberwolves, Lakers 4-1.
Jazz 4-2.
Nuggets 4-2.
Suns 4-2.
Clippers 4-2. Nuggets 4-2 Suns 4-2, Clippers 4-2
Wow, the West is crazy
Rockets, Mavericks, Trailblazers
3-2, 3-3
Worst teams are
The Warriors, the Grizzlies, the Kings
And the Pelicans
And then the Knicks and the Wizards
Well, there's the bad Washington team
The Wizards, there you go, Washington
Yeah, you still got that, Washington
Yeah, you still got that, Washington.
Yeah, you still got that.
Is that all the sports that I got?
That might be all my sports I got for today.
And then the Ravens just went up 7-0 on the Patriots.
Woo!
Go Ravens.
That's sports.
All right.
What is our big news story of the day?
This story's kind of crazy. Let's see.
I think there was some other story someone sent us that was pretty crazy.
Oh, yeah.
The Gardner Minshew thing.
It looked like a car with his face on it.
Yeah, that's what it was.
That's what I was trying to find the other week, and then I couldn't find it.
And then before you know it, you know.
But now I can't find it again because it was so far back oh here it is
it's a Jaguars fan
rapsod of car with like a
Gardner Minshew with a tiger
there it is
so that was that and then
okay so we got a few
Gardner Minshew once tried
to break his own hand in college
to help his career that was one
story so that's adding
to the Gardner Minshew thing he said I told the coaches I closed it in a car door I just had a
swollen hand for a few weeks after he grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and a hammer went back to
his room and tried to break his own hand wait what why did he try to break his own hand here's the story the
only group of people i've ever told this to is the washington state football team before this
last year and it was just about what would you do to play more football i went to ecu from junior
college and the situation was i had two seniors above me so i was hoping to go in there red shirt
and then be able to play three it was an awesome setup we get into about
game four and we moved our backup to running back and our starter got knocked out with a concussion
so shoot i'm staying there and i go in and play about a half then we go in for the next weekend
and the starter's going to be back so i'm like dang man i just played a half and really wasted
a year on playing a half of ball i was was pretty pissed, so I started looking around at what I could do and what my options were.
The only thing I could do was go get a medical red shirt.
But if I played in this next game, then that would be off the table.
So I get an idea.
I go home.
I grab the bottle of Jack and a hammer.
I go back to my room, take a pull of Jack, and put my hand down on the table,
and boom, boom, boom, one, two, three a pull of Jack and put my hand down on the table and boom, boom, boom.
One, two, three.
Hit the hell out of my hand.
I'm sitting there shaking, but I know it's not broken.
I did it again.
Still nothing.
At this point, I knew it wasn't broken.
So another time, another pull, three hits, and that was all I could take.
I couldn't break my own hand.
What the hell? But's Gardner Minshew.
But what was the purpose?
To get medical red shirt for what?
Medical red shirt.
So I guess that lets you play another year, I believe.
So that's just some Gardner Minshew news.
So we've got a couple other things.
Wait, so Gardner Minshew did that just cause?
He just had to injure himself, so he just drank a bottle of Jack.
I can't.
His legend grows. Gardner Minshew's legend grows. Grows, dude. well he just had to injure himself so he just drank a bottle of jack i can't jack his legend
grows gardener minshu's legend grows grows dude um let's see so we've got ghost adventure star
zach baggins became ill after investigating the real life haunted house that inspired the
conjuring movie franchise i heard this don't believe a bit of it. I don't believe it either. I don't believe it's way too perfect.
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.
Then there's only in Florida does cocaine drop from the sky.
Someone sent us.
This is from 1994.
What?
This is from 1994.
You guys don't think we'll check this stuff.
We do.
We check.
We're unlike the actual news.
We have a crack team of specialists.
We check our sources.
And then, here we go.
This is what we've been looking for.
And this is fresh off the presses.
Florida fisherman lost at sea for 14 days claims he was sexually assaulted by mermaids.
Oh, no.
This is a man.
He looks like he was sexually assaulted by a mermaid.
By the way, speaking of which, this week sometime go see the movie The Lighthouse.
Speaking of mermaid sex, go see The Lighthouse.
I want to hear your thoughts on it.
I think you will have thoughts.
I need you to see this movie.
Lighthouse movie.
Yes, go find it.
It's Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson.
They're the only actors in the movie.
It's crazy. It's truly a crazy crazy movie
it's black and white
it's like 4 by 3
it has weird ass like
symbolism and crazy things in it
it's kind of
a horror thing but not really
it's also very very funny
one of the characters all he does is fart the entire time
like it is a wild film and I don't Really? It's also very, very funny. One of the characters, all he does is fart the entire time.
It is a wild film.
And I don't know if I like it or not, but I know that I want to see it more times.
And I guess that's good.
But I need you to see this because I want to talk to you about how weird this movie is.
All right. I'll see this.
This looks crazy.
It is crazy.
And I'm a fan of crazy.
Back to this man being molested by mermaids.
All right.
So Alvin McAllister, 72, was found on a small rocky islet 200 miles off the nearest coastline
where he shipwrecked two weeks ago and managed to survive off several seagulls, mussels, and urchins.
McAllister, for whom doctors do not fear
for his life, was found suffering from
intense hallucinations, possibly caused by
dehydration, and the toxins
of unidentified muscles
he consumed.
The patient
shows symptoms of extreme
dehydration and is still under medical attention
at the moment, as he is still suffering
from mild hallucinations, the hospital told reporters uh he described in graphic detail how he was forced to
perform oral sex on the fish-like genitals of these aquatic creatures not only onto the women
but also the men mcallister's brothers added in, visibly grateful to find his brother alive.
Wait, wait.
So his brothers are like, oh man, the things those mermaids made him do.
Yeah.
I can't.
The brothers are in on it too. The brothers believe this, that he gave oral pleasure to mermaids.
I mean, we don't know at this point.
McAllister, whose belief.
Anything could be possible.
...engurgitated some form of toxin such as lead or mercury
found in dangerous quantities in certain varieties of muscles
he has possibly consumed,
is still under psychiatric evaluation.
Although Mr. McAllister does not present abnormal injuries
and inflammation to the genital and anal area,
it is highly unlikely he was sexually exploited or sodomized by living sea creatures and these are possibly self-inflicted, explained
the medical experts.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
Go back to the beginning of this paragraph.
What do they say?
He has injuries to his genitals and anus?
No, he does not present abnormal injuries and inflammation to the genital or anal area.
So there's no evidence that
mermaids got it on with him.
Correct.
I just wanted to make that clear.
I thought you were saying like, yes, he was
penetrated. Numero's like, uh,
Crandor?
Although
McAllister's mental state is presently
unstable, doctors believe he should heal completely in the weeks to come
after his body has expurgated the dangerous levels of toxins he's been exposed to.
All right.
I can't.
There's one comment on this article.
Okay.
From Tony with an I.
T-O-N-i and tony says he's not lying they usually kill their victims
he's lucky to be alive
this is the exact exact sentence
just the letter b by the way
i want to know what tony's gone through or what tony knows that we don't
i've seen mermaids i've seen mermaids kill man like praying mantises i can't even begin to tell you how funny that is
oh my god i love i love how it literally just says he's not lying they usually kill their victims
he's lucky to be be as as in just a B, alive.
I wish I could click on their thing and see what other things they've commented on, but you can't.
That's it.
Tony only comments on mermaid-related incidents.
Yeah, that's it.
They usually kill their victims.
That is incredible.
Do mermaids kill their victims? No, incredible. Do mermaids kill
their victims?
No, because they're not real. Because mermaids don't exist.
No, they don't kill their victims.
They're not real people.
Siren is Mermaid Rin's revenge
story and she's far from the villain.
The murderous allure of
mermaids from Sci-Fi Wire.
Oh yeah, these are just fake shows Yes they're not
It's not a real thing they don't exist
You never know though
Nope you do know
You do know there are no mermaids
Stop it
Alright
Yeah that's enough
That's it for us
thank you so much for listening and watching
or whatever you're doing
Krendor hit up the socials
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Well
Thank you again
And
We will see you guys next time
On another episode
So as always
Beep
To be continued Continue.