Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 221 - Dogs and Cats
Episode Date: November 25, 2019The boys are back with an all new episode and this time Jesse wants you all to know the world is ready for more Minshew Mania!!! Meanwhile Crendor prepares to relive his best days and live on a level ...of existence we only can dream about. Also a dog drives a car and a cat steals clothes and eats people. All these things and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to http://meundies.com/crendor Go to http://honeybook.com/cox for 50% off your first year
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Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies.
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Let's jump into this podcast.
Hello everybody, it's time for this podcast. Hello, everybody.
It's time for Cox and Crandon.
Cox and Crandon in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.
In 4-hour recording studios.
Recording.
Wake your ass up.
It's Cox and Crandon in the morning.
Cox and Crandrendo in the morning.
Hey, hello.
Hello.
That kind of threw me off.
Oh, what? Wait, why? What?
Because, you know, where I was like, hey, it's Cox and Crendo in the morning, and then I was like, dude, right now?
We're not recording this in the morning.
It's an illusion.
Yeah, you're right.
I mean, you're right.
It's Sunday afternoon.
You're right.
Yeah.
Damn.
All right.
But because it's Sunday afternoon, I wanted to, you know, we need to talk about this right now.
I don't know if you've been following the sports ball.
I know you have.
But have you seen Jacksonville today?
And have you seen the internet?
Because it's beautiful.
I haven't, actually.
So, apparently, Nick Foles, Foyles, whatever his name is,
the guy who replaced Gardner Minshew, the greatest QB of all time, we'll say.
Actually, technically, Minshew replaced him and then, whatever, doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Apparently, Nick is playing very bad today, and the internet is, like, pissed.
They're like, bring back Minshew.
And this gives me hope.
My favorite tweets today, I've been following this all morning,
my favorite tweets are, 88 million real dollars.
Man, Minshew would throw two TDs for a handle of jack and three
headbands.
Another one is
bring back Minshew or I start doing
crack.
Now that's a Florida tweet if I've
ever heard one. These are, Florida tweets
are my favorite tweets. Yeah, so
I love, and then it's all these people posting
pictures of like Minshew as their savior.
And I'm just like, mm-hmm, this is where we're at now.
You and I were on board to begin with, but now I'm in.
I'm into Minshew mania.
I love it.
Man, I've been following it all morning.
It's, uh...
Yeah, because right now, Jacksonville's, uh...
I think they lost.
Well, actually, they're about to lose.
It was 21-7 last time I looked.
Yeah, they just lost 42-20.
Golly.
Get them out.
Get them out.
Bring back Minshew.
Bring Minshew back.
Here's the final stats of Minshew mania.
Well, not Minshew mania.
Nick Foles, 32-48, 272 yards.
That's it.
That's bad, man.
That's bad.
That's bad.
Minshew would have had a touchdown.
Yeah, Minshew would have had four touchdowns.
Yeah.
I think the thing is they invested so much money
in Nick Foles that they're like,
well, we got to play him.
You know, he put all this money in.
But then now, you've got the meme lord.
Can't go against the memes.
My favorite part is
some guy one day ago
tweeted
always good to be at Gardner Minshew's house
and it's just the stadium.
You know that thing where people are like,
I'm gonna tell my kids that this is
when they grow up or whatever.
All these people are posting photos of themselves in the backyard in the snow in shorts going,
I'm going to tell them this is Gardner Minshew.
All these guys are wearing mustaches at the stadium demanding that he play.
I can't even.
This is incredible.
People are so mad.
Florida, not okay.
The Jacksonville Jaguars Twitter tweeted out, like,
hey, we scored a touchdown, and everyone's like, we don't care.
Put him in.
Oh, my God.
I'm so excited. Well, in addition to them being mad, it's Jacksonville.
They're going to get real mad.
They're all drunk.
It's Florida, man.
They're on crack.
Oh, yeah.
They're doing meth.
They're going to be super mad, dude.
Tonight, I expect several crimes to go down that we will talk about in the weeks to come.
They're all Minshew-related crimes.
I said I would do crack, and I'm going to do crack.
I sure hope so.
I do, too.
So, yeah, how's your week going?
Man, this week was, what's going on with this year?
We are in the fastest month of my life.
November flew by.
I was like, yeah, well, when November's over, and I looked at the calendar and was like,
what?
I don't know what's going on.
Thanksgiving's this week.
I know
This is
Although
I'm so happy my parents
And I have moved beyond Thanksgiving
And now we just go to
Ruth's Chris Steakhouse
And get food
And that's our Thanksgiving
It's great
I mean that's still Thanksgiving
Technically
Yeah but it's like
You know we don't
You're not making it
Have to do the cooking stuff
Oh that's nice
I'm sure my parents
Are waiting for me to marry Some chef woman who will then do it for them
because I don't think any of us wants to have to.
Cooking a meal, that's a lot.
Doing that whole thing, that's a lot of work.
Me and Toaster Woman make Thanksgiving for my family.
Oh, wow.
Well, it works because I'm very into cooking, if you couldn't tell.
I'm the food douche.
So I'm like, what if I do Brussels sprouts,
but cheesy Brussels sprouts?
You know, get a turkey.
We don't even get a big turkey.
Some people are like, I get a little honking turkey.
Get a nice seven, eight pound turkey.
It's good enough.
You don't get much leftovers,
but I don't even want leftovers, really.
I mean, that still sounds like a lot of work.
What if I went instead to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and got food and then left and didn't have to clean shit?
That would be so good.
Well, you could also do that, yes.
That is my – my parents and I have decided our holiday traditions are like for Christmas we give each other like socks and lottery tickets.
For Thanksgiving we go out and get steak man let me
tell you we've got this thing trimmed down where are my lottery tickets they're like look in the
sock it's just loaded you're like oh my god yeah christmas comes early i'm telling you i don't want
anything else i have i have spent the last three days upstairs in my living room straight up just going through boxes of things I thought I needed.
I was like, I definitely need this.
And I'm still throwing stuff.
I'm slowly whittling things down.
Every so often, I will put stuff away and be like, well, good.
Everything that I have, I want.
And then I'll be like, hmm, what haven't I used in the last three months?
All right.
And I'll just go back through and keep doing it.
Man, it feels good.
I'm trying to get rid of it.
Everything about me must go.
Everything.
I feel like you've been saying you're going to get rid of everything for, like, years at this point.
That's what I'm doing.
Because my process is it's like do a once-over, wait a couple weeks, do a once over again,
wait,
and I'm going to whittle it down to the point where I have only the things,
like if there was an earthquake or some sort of like world ending disaster,
I could put everything I really needed in a backpack and just go like,
that's my dream.
I'm not that the world ends.
That's not my dream.
I'm not a super villain,
but that,
you know, I don't have a lot that I can,
can't live without. Right. Right right so hopefully i'll be good hopefully i'll have everything down to a i don't need this i don't
care but like if the world was ending it's not like you really have to take everything like you
just take that stuff anyway and leave right but in mind, there are people who can use or enjoy things that I just will collect and it will sit somewhere.
I'd rather give it away and have someone enjoy it or sell it or whatever than me just like keeping it in a closet as like I have it.
Right.
I don't want to.
It just takes up space.
And so my dream is eventually to get rid of all the things that just take up space
and keep the things I really, really love.
Because there was a good two, three years there where if I saw something,
I was like, I must have it.
And now I'm like, why did I do that?
What a giant, terrible waste of time and energy and money.
So that's where I'm at now.
It's not bad.
It's not a bad mindset.
I'm trying.
I'm trying to make myself happy.
I feel like the less stuff I have to manage and look out for, the more I can deal with the little things in life.
It's a personal choice.
I'm not saying a lot of people out there should do what I'm doing. All I'm saying
is I have so much stuff in my life
that sometimes I'll set a
bill down on a pile
of stuff and be like, I'll get back
to that later. And then two months will go by
and I'll get a thing that's like, you didn't pay your bill. I'm like, oh
no! So if I
have nothing to distract me,
I'll get to it
because I don't have a pile of things I have to do.
Well, it's like the simplicity.
You know, it's like simplicity is whatever.
I forgot what the quote is.
You know that quote?
I do know it.
I do know that quote.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
That's it I just I'm one of those people that If I
Want to change
I have to draft
Like if I was a smoker
I couldn't be one of those people who
Got on the patch or whatever
And then slow
You would have to cold turkey my ass
And force me
You have to put me in a room
Lock the door
Force me not to smoke
Same thing with
Every other aspect of my life
If I want to change
I need someone to physically make me change
And so
In this part of my life
With stuff
I have to get rid of it as much as possible
Or else I'll keep collecting things
I see that
If I stop and I'm like oh I'm fine that's good enough
Then it'll just pile up again.
So I have to keep going back every few weeks
and just constantly whittling down some more.
I've been kind of doing that.
Just going through and being like, yeah, I don't need that.
And then you just slowly whittle away at things you don't need.
We were setting up Christmas stuff yesterday,
and I was getting out storage boxes.
And I was like, just clean out some of these storage boxes.
So I went through, just find stuff. stuff like why are we even saving this just throw it out and
start throwing out stuff then you get more storage boxes or you just don't even need them you just
get rid of them yeah the big the biggest at this point the most stuff i have is one closet is
filled with i'm gonna say four or five bins worth of fan-sent stuff.
That's the one thing I won't throw away, is things fans have sent me because I assume
one day I'll have to prove to grandkids that I was something people cared about.
Unlike your damn parents, right?
And I'll be like, look is this is a stuffed version of
me the kids they loved me and then they'll be like sure grandpa i'll be like you little bastards
look in this closet i'll open the closet we'll be like wow grandpa i'll be like that's right
you pieces of crap now go get your dad i always love when you're watching the old simpsons like clips there's the
one they go to ikea and at the end they're eating in the cafeteria and apu comes in and then they're
like talking about kids and he's like kids are great apu you can teach them to hate the things
you hate yeah it's such a true quote i uh yeah that mean I mean, I just want to be able to, I don't know, I just like things, you know me, I like things clean and orderly.
I'm very much about that lifestyle.
So when it's not, I get like all.
So, yeah, right now, though, upstairs, it is a mess.
It's your mind, man.
I can't, yeah, you know, cleanliness is to godliness, and I want to be a god.
So, yeah.
Huh.
Oh, okay.
Well.
You're a crazy person now.
No, but for real, other than that, I didn't do nothing this week.
Oh, I'm a liar.
So I can say this now, but I can't tell you guys.
I can't tell anyone anything specific, but
Monday I went to Netflix, like Netflix, big corporate Netflix. Ooh. Uh, had a meeting
about something. Not even going to talk about it. Um, and all that's fine and dandy, but
the real thing, Netflix has a dope-ass cafeteria.
They have commissaries on every floor, and every single one is the exact replica.
And here's what I love the most.
We were waiting out there, I don't know, 15 minutes for our meeting.
Straight up, in that 15 minutes, people came by to clean that commissary five times.
And I was like, I love this place it was so like spotless uh anyway let me just try to explain to you what was there first off multiple make your own espresso stations uh
there were different coffee things that you could you could uh get there was a water vending machine
that you know those soda machines where you can select flavors and diet and all that stuff, right?
Yeah.
It was like that, but it was water.
And it had a little slider indicating how much still to sparkling water you wanted.
It had flavor profiles.
Oh, it was wild, man.
And I was on that machine like boop, bo boop boop boop boop It was incredible
They had snacks but not just snacks
They had whole packets of gum
Not just one piece of gum
So I was just like don't mind if I do
And uh
Yeah they had all sorts
The counter was all
Mini fridges and in each mini fridge
Was something different.
I'm telling you, I don't know what the hell goes on there, but they got a great-ass kitchen at Netflix.
That thing was nice.
And so, yeah, the walls in the main entrance area are all screens, and they changed to show sets from different shows.
So it was like you were standing in the set of a show.
It was pretty neat.
Yeah, and so for anyone who's like, man, I want to check that out, you totally can't.
When you get there, there is a wall of security.
I'm talking you have to have your invite.
You have to have security protocol like this is the thing they sent you.
You have to show them your ID. You have to go show them your id you have to go through a gate you have to go through another gate through there was security i've never
seen anything like that but you know that's hollywood i guess it was wild and then um yeah
had a fun little meeting and then stole some more water and gum and left it was great
i was really impressed. I was like,
ooh, Netflix, killing it.
I guess that's true.
That's like the high quality version of
your dad stealing jelly packets
at a restaurant. Absolutely.
Yeah, except
I guess you're right. I was going to say except
the restaurant, the jelly packets aren't there for you
to take, but I guess
they are in a way now that i
become a gum thief i feel like i appreciate my father more because i'm like look the gum was
just there it's not like they didn't want me to take it it was for me to take and so now i get it
yeah but now i have more gum than a person i have some I have so much mint and spearmint flavored gum upstairs.
I am good to go.
That's why you're clearing out space.
You have to make room for the gum.
The thing is, I'll go through that.
I have a gum problem where I just, I'll chomp on gum all the time.
And it's worrisome.
It's really worrisome.
Why?
Is it like a nervous thing?
No, it's just, I think it's a substitute for putting
like a donut in my mouth thing so i'm constantly just like chewing gum because i don't want to eat
something and i'll just like nom nom nom oh yeah it's a problem it's it's probably not good for me
if you don't have gum i just picture like you always have a box of donuts there just like
i need donut in my mouth i'm gonna let you know the other day it might have been 10.30 p.m.
and I had this craving for a donut.
I was like, I can't do this.
I can't.
I was craving it so much I literally went to my phone and was like,
does Postmates deliver donuts to my home at 10.30 p.m.?
And I had to stop myself.
I was like, no, Jesse, no.
And I went and got some of that delicious gum.
So really, Netflix, saving my life.
Thanks, Netflix.
There you go.
See?
What happened to you this week?
Trying to plan out.
So I want to do these themed days, right?
So this might sound weird, but here's what I'm planning.
Wait, what do you mean?
Themed days is in line.
All right, you know what?
I'm going to shut up and just let you talk,
because I don't know what you're about to say.
You're not going to get it.
Trust me.
Okay.
Okay.
So what I want to do is I have these nostalgic memories of specific days.
Right?
So here's one.
What?
Back when I was...
Let's see.
How old would I be?
Maybe like 19.
19 or 20.
It's around there.
19 uh 19 or 20 it's around there uh i remember i wrote my first uh one of my first world of warcraft machinimas and i remember i went to school which was my community college and then
i skipped a class and i went and got dunkin donuts and i got a coffee and then i went to
the bookstore and read some marketing books and learned
more there than i did in school and then i went home and i edited that machinima as i drank dunkin
donuts and i put it up and i have that weird nostalgic memory for that day so i was like dude
what if i relive that day are you operating on another reality for the rest of us? I've never
heard this. I've never heard anyone
say this before. I've never
I don't know what
you're doing. Wait, so what are you
going to do? Let me see if I get this
correct. You're going
to go
to Dunkin Donuts,
then go to a bookstore and read
marketing books, then come back a bookstore and read marketing books,
then come back and edit a WoW video while eating the Dunkin' Donuts
and drinking the coffee.
Yeah.
And that's your day.
That's your plan for the day.
Yes.
What other days are you going to repeat?
I'm trying to remember days that I can repeat.
That's the issue is remembering those days.
I remember one day.
I remember getting, I got ramen.
It was raining outside, so I can't really remember.
You have to wait until it rains.
Let's see.
There's a couple other ones I remember.
I wrote them down on my notebook.
Do you have any snowy day memories?
Because I think it's going to snow really bad in Chicago this week.
Is it?
I don't know.
That's what I heard.
I heard on the radio today it's going to be crazy.
Like, how crazy is crazy?
I mean, you know, not Chicago crazy, but I think two to three inches, something like that.
Oh, that's like nothing.
Yeah.
But, you know, like L.A. end of day is crazy. But, you know. It's just like 40s all that. Oh, that's like nothing. Yeah, but you know, like LA end of days crazy.
But even though it's just like 40s all week, it's not going to snow.
Oh, that's all right.
Whatever.
I heard it might rain.
Oh my God, I might have a rain day.
Anyway, no, it's I remember one of my old vlogs.
I vlogged in the snow.
It was like, no, as I vlogged drinking coffee while looking at a squirrel in the snow.
I don't know.
That's going to be hard to redo.
That's a hard redo.
I got to find a squirrel.
I'm going to have to go back to that house that I don't live in anymore and hope the people aren't home.
Be like, excuse me, I need to look out this window.
And they'll be like, please. But maybe but maybe dude what if they let me vlog be like hey i just want to make a vlog here
to make sure i don't think they will like sir please leave just like i used to live here and
i want to make a vlog they'd be like uh no i i can't be like dude i'm the big time youtuber beauty market ply and they'd be like
oh my god please come into my house take anything you want even even if your name was uh
jack marked a pie you they still would be like i don't know who you are we live in a world where
we like have internet people in our lives but most people are like who they would be like I don't know who you are We live in a world where we like Have internet people in our lives
But most people are like who
They would be like sir you need to leave right now
We will call the police
They'd be like oh my god it's that
And they'd be like wait that's not
But you'd be done with the vlog you'd be out like
Bye suckers
That's my vlog
So yeah that's kind of what i've been trying to figure out
uh i've never heard of anyone do this before like this is the craziest thing i've ever heard of well
i thought of it because i'm like well we're already reliving all these old movies and video
games and all that so why not relive a day i mean it, it's just crazy enough to be amazing.
Like, I would do this if I could remember any specific days.
All right.
There's got to be, like, one day you had, like, a good memory in.
Or, like, just something you really remember from a day.
I mean, I can think of a few days where I had great memories.
But I don't think they're going to be redo.
I don't think I can redo those memories.
I don't think they're going to be redo. I don't think I can redo those memories. I don't think they're going to be
redoed.
Ain't nobody going to redo those.
Yeah, so no.
I don't think...
I'm all about making
new memories. I definitely don't think
that some
of the memories... I don't know.
I like new memories, but
sometimes you just want to go back
and just be like it's a good time to relive it and usually it's not okay here's one of the things
that led to this was i had a memory playing classic wow where i was killing yetis in
fearless and i went and got a french toast bagel from the kitchen with cream cheese, as one does.
And my dad was like, hey, what are you making?
And I was like, a French toast bagel.
And he said, wow, that sounds good.
I think I'll make one.
That's a beautiful memory.
Yeah, and then I went back and I killed some yetis and ate it.
And I don't know why I remember it.
Nothing traumatic happened.
Nothing crazy happened.
I just remember that.
So I relived it i bought some
french toast bagels i got to ferris when i did and then i was like all right everybody here we go
and then i was eating it and uh you know i was like all right i relived that memory
it didn't feel as cool as i thought it would but i'm happy i did it mean, I'm glad you are. I'm so glad that made you happy.
So, yeah.
Sounds like you're living a crazy
life. Like, a crazy week was had by all,
I think. Yeah, I think
so. The other thing was,
I remember one day, or no,
this was like a week. This was around Mr. Pandaria.
I remember watching
every Stanley Kubrick movie.
Why?
Wait, so this is...
You're going to redo this in memory form?
Well, I kind of want to watch, like, Stanley Kubrick movies again.
Ah, I see.
All right.
Yeah, I'm not going to play Mr. Pandaria again.
What's your favorite Kubrick?
I think Clockwork Orange.
Really?
That one just made me be like, what the shit?
But I was always hooked into what's going to happen next.
And then I would say second would probably be the what's-his-name one in the snow hotel.
The Shining?
Yeah, The Shining, that one.
Have you seen that documentary?
Did I watch that with you, The Shining documentary?
We must have talked about that in the many years we've done this.
I think he talked about it.
You should definitely watch that.
If you watch The Shining, then go watch the documentary.
The documentary is like, all right, but basically it's four conspiracy theories, question mark,
about The Shining and what it actually is about.
Oh.
Yeah, I think I remember you talking about this, but I never watched it.
So maybe I'll watch it this time.
Yeah, it isn't very well structured as a documentary.
Like, it's kind of, at first, you're like, what am I watching?
By the end of it, it makes sense.
You're like, oh, that was interesting.
But, yeah, there's one thing that the documentary does do very well is at the very end, it's like, I don't know if it was done on purpose.
But if you watch the movie overlaid with the movie but in reverse, so like one's playing forward and one's playing backwards, scenes fit up and it looks really weird.
I'm like, what the hell?
Kubrick was a genius.
So who knows what the hell it's actually about.
Yeah. He was crazy.
He's the mad genius. Yeah, but the
Shining movie is not at all
like the book.
That's what I heard, because Stephen King wrote it.
Yeah, and apparently
one of the big
conspiracies is that
it was purposefully made not like the book
for a reason.
And we'll, you know, i'll let you watch the documentary to figure out what the hell a reason might be all right neat
now i got another thing to watch yeah see look at that planet planning new memories look at that
planning new memories that i can relive in 10 years. Mm-hmm. That's... Ho-ho.
Ho-ho.
All right, Crandor.
Well, speaking of memories you can relive, I don't know where this is going.
Holidays are coming up.
Yep.
And before you freak out about what to give your boyfriend or girlfriend or the mailman, right?
Before you freak out about what to give your parents, who knows?
Make some good memories.
Oh, I'm going to try and pull this one back.
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All right, Crandall, let's get a chat together.
How's that traffic out there?
Oh, man, traffic.
Let's see.
I wasn't even looking out the window.
Oh, hey, look at that.
There's some traffic.
You got planes going under me.
Uh-oh, they might be mad because we're in the old plane avenues.
I don't know what they're called.
Plane paths?
Plane avenues?
Plane roads? We're flying above them. I'm not going what they're called. Plain paths? Plain avenues? Plain roads?
We're flying above them.
I'm not going to help you.
It should be okay.
Yeah.
That's all right.
We don't need help here.
We just need a lot of help.
So looking down there, we got cars.
We got some bicycles.
I don't know how I can see a bicycle from here.
These things are crazy.
How much money did we spend on this thing?
Man. Anyway. I'm'm gonna go back to sleep back to you thanks Crandor now let's go to
Crandor at the weather desk how's that weather weather
I was doing that until I opened up weather.com yeah I'm aware so we've So we've got, I don't know, where do I want to go today?
Where do you want to go today?
You never pick a weather thing.
Give me something.
Okay, I got you.
I got you.
Three, four, six, two, one.
Two, one.
That is Donggu Daejeon, South Korea.
All right.
I feel good about that choice.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
We got to get that K-pop audience.
You know that once they're in, they'll follow you forever.
Especially the Dongguians.
Yeah, the Donggu audience is huge.
A lot of fans in Donggu.
Yep.
Donggu is 36 degrees right now.
It feels like 30.
It's actually about the same as here.
Wow.
Sister cities.
Sister cities.
Donggu in Chicago.
Who knew?
42 degrees.
Cloudy skies.
You got winds that are light and variable.
Sun rising at 716 a.m.
Setting at 516
PM. Tonight,
mostly cloudy early, then clear
overnight. Yeah, 34 degrees
as you're low. I don't know
if that's Celsius. See if you figure that out.
You got humidity
is up to 89%. Woo!
It's humid.
Tuesday, yeah, 56 degrees. That's not too bad 50s are pretty good so it's gonna snow is what you're saying is it probably gonna be snowy
if you're looking for uh some sort of snow that's only gonna hit you around 35 and below
so no snow actually but it will be a chilly rain if anything happens uh of course how very chicago
yeah uh looking at the old 10 day you got 56 49 51 50 55 46 41 42 47 49 50 50 50
uh honestly that's not too bad that's like a chicago spring
also by the way i forgot to mention i was out buying cat food and i just gone to the gym
and it was like i don't know it's probably 35 here honestly it's cold but like when you get
out of the gym like you know your your blood's pumping you're feeling good i'd like my sleeves
pulled up i had no coat i was feeling great and this woman was like i had no coat on eh and i was like no i just got out of the And this woman was like, eh, no code on, eh?
And I was like, nah, I just got out of the gym.
And she was like, oh.
Uh-huh.
And then I was thinking,
she's probably in her early 60s,
maybe late 50s.
And I would have thought,
what if I would have just said,
ha ha, okay, boomer.
Why would you do that, though? I wouldn't do that. But in my mind, thought, like, what if I would have just said, like, ha ha, okay, Boomer. Why would you do that, though?
I wouldn't do that.
But in my mind, I was like, what if I had said that?
Would she have been like, blah?
No, she would have been like, what?
I feel like she would have been confused.
Yeah, she'd be like, who are you?
Here's the thing.
I'm practically a Boomer myself.
Dude, what if your name was Boomer?
There's a quarterback named Boomer.
Boomer Esiason.
Yeah.
So if you're like, okay, Boomer, he'd be like, yeah.
Whoa.
Did you know?
Sorry.
I got distracted because I was looking up Donggu actors or famous people because I want
to know who comes from Donggu.
Oh.
Apparently, there's a guy named Yoon Shi Yoon who was born Yoon Donggu. Oh. Apparently there's a guy named Yun Shi Yun who was born Yun Donggu.
He changed his name
when he entered the small town of Suncheon.
33 years old.
He looks beautiful
and he is in shows like
King of Baking,
Kim Takgu,
My Cute Guys,
Hit the Top,
Grand Prince,
Grand Prince,
and Your Honor.
So there you go.
Now,
that guy's killing it.
Damn, dude.
Wait, he's also,
wait,
people also search for
Jin Si-yeon,
Joo Sang-wook,
Kim Min-jae. All right, let's see Jin Si-yeon. Jin Si-, Joo Sang Wook, Kim Min Jae.
All right, let's see Jin Si Yeon.
Jin Si Yeon is a South Korean actress.
She played the female protagonist in television dramas such as My Daughter, The Flower, Bridal Mask, Doctor Stranger, The Flower in Prison, and Grand Prince.
Yeah, Donggu, we picked a great place.
What about Go Su?
Go Su? What?
He's 41 years old, and he was in
Love 911,
Flowers of the Prison,
The Royal Tailor,
Green Rose, that's from 2005,
and Heart Surgeons.
Whoa, Dongu
looks really neat.
It has a
pyramid?
What the hell?
Wait, what?
I thought you were talking about him, Go-su.
I thought you were like, Go-su looks really neat.
No, no, Dong-gu has a pyramid in it.
Oh, that's actually pretty cool.
Yeah, it's in northeastern Daegu, South Korea.
Has a population of 343,000. I'm definitely saying everything wrong, but that's alright
Yeah
Interesting
So it's like a small part of a
So it's just a district
We've got very specific
Very specific district
It's almost like we just put in a random number
Yeah, it's almost like it was totally
random when you put in dongu the number one thing people search for next to the name is mushroom
what's a dongu mushroom what do you mean dongu it's a mushroom wait it's a shiitake mushroom
dongu mushroom you're right what whoa i like shiitake mushrooms yeah interesting look at us learning
about the world wow wow wow we're world travelers kind of yeah kind of um that's the weather. Okay, let's go to sports.
Sports.
Welcome to the sports desk.
That's my new jingle.
It certainly is. Today we had some football.
Seattle beat the Eagles.
Detroit lost to the Redskins.
That's a disappointing loss.
The Jets crushed the Raiders somehow.
The Saints beat the Panthers.
The Browns beat the Dolphins.
The Steelers barely beat
the Bengals. The
Bears barely beat the Giants.
Buffalo beat the Broncos. Buccaneers
slowed the Falcons down. The
Titans, like we said earlier,
beat the Jaguars.
The Patriots beat the Cowboys.
The Texans beat the Colts.
And tonight, the Packers play the 49ers,
which we're going to finish this episode before that
so I can go watch it, and that's why we're recording it right now.
Yeah, people are wondering why we're recording when we are.
Yeah.
Dude, it's 9-1 versus 8-2, all right?
This is playoff implications coming in.
This is a big game.
This is a huge game.
So that was that. 1 versus 8 and 2. All right. This is playoff implications coming in. This is big game. This is huge. This is a good game.
So that was that.
Also in other sports, NBA.
I actually saw the Bulls game last night, which was actually great.
The guy in the Bulls got like 13 three-pointers and won the game with like a second left.
The guy on the Bulls.
The guy on the Bulls.
Zach Levine.
That Bulls guy.
John M. Bulls. The Bulls are not greatine. That Bulls guy? John M. Bulls?
The Bulls are not great, but it was an exciting game to watch.
And then the Lakers are at the top.
You got the Bucs at the top.
I saw a guy on the Celtics hit his head.
He had to get off on a stretcher.
That's how they do in Boston.
Golden State Warriors, worst team in the league.
Again, 3-14, but when they get everybody back healthy
and then they get the top draft pick, they'll be crushing people next year.
And then over in the hockey news.
Speaking of crushing people, hockey.
Speaking of crushing people, Washington at the top at 35 points.
Then you got Boston at 35.
Islanders, 34.
You got the St. Louis Blues and the Edmonton Oilers at 33.
Let's see.
Where are the Blackhawks?
They're tied at 23 with Nashville.
They're only a couple points back of Vegas at 26.
Over in the other, Buffalo won a game.
So they were 1-7-1.
Now they're 2-7-1 in their last 10.
Nice.
They're coming back.
And in last place, you've got the Los Angeles Kings and the Detroit Red Wings.
What happened?
How'd that happen?
I don't know.
Yeah, Detroit's like the super hockey city.
They love hockey.
But they're not doing great.
And then New Jersey's down there, but the Kings were really good for a while.
And then, you know, just like L.A., nobody cares anymore.
You're right.
And that's sports.
All right.
What is our big news story of the day?
Big news story of the day.
Super news story of the day.
Super news story of the day.
This one was actually sent to us by about 80 people.
Uh-oh.
Wait, what?
How did I miss this?
Okay.
I don't know how you missed it because literally everybody was sending me.
I'll ask this story.
A Florida dog put a car into reverse and drove it in circles for nearly an hour.
Wait, what?
Wait, time out.
What?
Yep.
There's a video of it.
If you'd like to see.
I would very much like.
Wait, so a car drove. Wait, a dog drove a car for hours hours in a circle in Reverse oh you know all right I missed
in a circle part I was about to say that wait so just move it what about it okay
the dog wasn't driving the dog is accidentally put in Reverse in the car
moved yeah you watch the thing how. Wait, no he had to.
How could he
put his foot in the gas? You can see the car.
It's just going in reverse. I'm watching
it. I have so many questions.
What the fuck?
Yeah, I don't know how he did it for
hours. Yeah, how do you keep it
going? That's what I'm saying.
How is it possible that he kept it going
for so long there's got to
be let's see and sable's cul-de-sac in port st lucie florida is fairly quiet well it was until
a dog hopped in its owner's running car kicked it in reverse drove in circles for an hour and
smashed a neighbor's mailbox before safely exiting the vehicle without so much as a scratch
but sabal didn't know who was
behind the wheel when she first spotted the car whirling around the block like an inept student
driver at first i thought somebody backing up but then they kept going and then i'm like okay what
are they doing who's driving that car a black labrador retriever either terribly frightened
or joyfully free like it's like either terribly frightened or joyfully free.
It's like either terribly frightened or very happy and joyfully free.
Then the cops came.
Uh-oh.
And then the fire department.
Authorities watched from a distance as the driving dog did donuts.
Finally, the vehicle hit a mailbox and some garbage cans, then slowed down.
Port St. Lucie police opened the door, and Sebole watched as a large black lab retriever hopped out of the driver's seat.
Okay, this is turning weird.
What?
But how do they keep it going?
There's gotta be, let's see.
It turns out, they gotta have this.
It turns out the dog's owner, who has to remain anonymous, had left his car running in the street when the dog changed gears and didn't stop driving for almost an hour.
But that's not how cars work.
How did he drive it?
Did it have, what's that, cruise control?
Like, can you flip that on or something?
But why would you do that when you've parked?
I don't know. I don't know how he did it i have so many questions how is this possible this dog knew what he was doing this dog was just like
uh the community escaped injury saved for the mailbox which the dog's owner promised to fix
as for the pup it is impossible to know its thoughts behind the
wheel did it jump at the chance for a joyride and a fleeting taste of freedom or was this all
a harrowing accident does the dog felt all control slipped through its paws uh don't do that to this
dog was impressed they should give that thing a license license that's uh man well okay i yeah i really need to i want to know how that dog drove right
the car like you'd have to like sit on the gas right like you put your car in reverse, it doesn't just... Reverse? Well...
That's what I'm saying.
Cars, if you put cars in drive, they'll move forward a little bit, right?
But if you put a car in reverse, does the car just go in reverse?
I guess it technically does.
Maybe?
I don't know.
Because you gotta give it a little oomph to get it going, but it'll keep going. But how did to give it a little like oomph to like get it going.
But like it'll keep going.
But how did he give it a little oomph?
I mean, I don't know.
Maybe this car is different.
Maybe it just goes.
It depends on the type of car.
Well, I guess I just don't know because I always have my foot on the brake whenever I press reverse.
Which don't you have to put your foot on?
Yeah, you put your foot. Okay. Okay, car. You put your foot on the brake. I press reverse, which don't you have to put your foot on? Yeah, you put your foot.
Okay. Okay, car. You put your foot on the brake. You set it to reverse. Then you
take your foot off the brake and starts backing up. So I
guess you don't have to. Right. But
then he would have to like
keep the wheel turned. Yes.
Yes. That's what I'm saying. There are levels
to this that don't make sense. And I'm
really curious as to how
it is definitely a fluke it
isn't like the dog planned this but there's levels to this that i'm like how did that dog do what he
did that dog smarter than me apparently that is huh man today i learned dogs are smarter than us.
That's true.
Well, it depends on the dog, I guess.
Some dogs.
Yeah, some dogs are idiots.
Then again, it depends on the person.
Oh my God, you're right.
Some people are idiots. Compared to Florida people, that dog's a genius.
I don't know.
Today Florida proved their love of Minshew means that they truly are smart.
And they get it.
Florida gets it.
Florida does get it, I guess.
Oh, my God.
This was the other thing.
What?
What?
What?
So this ties into the Yule Lads.
Oh, my God.
What?
Someone sent us the Yule Cat.
What?
The Yule Cat is a monster from icelandic folklore a
huge and vicious cat said to lurk about the snowy countryside during christmas time and eat people
who have not received any new clothes to wear before christmas eve wait what a terrible what
a terrible curse put on those less fortunate oh Oh, my God. It's terrifying.
Wait, why would it eat people who don't have...
How would it be able to tell new clothes?
It's a cat.
Dude, cats can smell new clothes.
I've always said cats were assholes, but this just proves it.
This cat's like, yeah, no new clothes.
Me.
Eat it.
Like, what a dick.
Oh, my God.
Just search Yule Cat.
There's so many good look at that one oh my
god yule cat's so sassy and fat wow look at him he's just like he definitely definitely has a
cat burg voice now i'm gonna eat you so this says the yule cat is a huge vicious cat who lurks about
the snowy countryside and eats people who have not received any new clothes to wear before Christmas Eve.
The Yule Lads are the sons of Gryla and Lepalootie.
Right.
So they own the Yule Cat or not?
Yule Cat.
It doesn't say if they own the Yule Cat or not.
Are they connected?
I guess no one owns the Yule Cat.
The Yule Cat does what the Yule Cat does.
But are they related or connected to the Yule Cat in some way?
That's what I'd like to know. Let's see.
Gobbles up on a...
Like a spoon licker's house. Is there a litter box or something?
Families in Iceland work together to ensure nobody will go to the Christmas Cat.
The terrifying Christmas Cat is also referred to as the Yule Cat.
The idea is that families gift each other
new and warm clothes for the winter and make
Yule Cat an offering of some warm weather
gear. If not, he'll gobble you up
like fishy treats. Wait, but why would you need to give a
cat clothes?
I don't know. It's like a sacrifice
or something. To a cat?
To a cat?
I don't know. I guess. What about the Yule Labs? It's not just a cat to a cat i don't know i guess what about the yule lads it's not just the cat
you think the the cat takes it back to the yule lads and you lads are like
ah no clothes for that we are that would make sense that would i think that why not just
offer it up to your favorite yule lad like this one is for sausage lad you know right like this one's for door slammer why don't
they do that oh my god that's a big ass poem they got about the yule cat okay here's the whole poem
you all know the yule cat and the cat was huge indeed people didn't know where he came from or
where he went he opened his glaring eyes wide the two of them glowing bright it took a really brave man
to look straight into them his whiskers sharp as bristles his back arched up high and the claws of
his hairy paws were a terrible sight he gave a wave of his strong tail he jumped and he clawed
and he hissed sometimes in the valley sometimes by the shore he ro roamed at large, hungry and evil,
in the freezing Yule snow in every home.
People shuddered his name.
If one heard a pitiful meow,
something evil would happen soon.
Everyone knew he hunted men,
but he didn't care for mice.
He picked on the very poor
that no new garments got, for Yule who toiled and lived in dire need.
From them he took in one fell swoop their whole Yule dinner, always eating it himself if he possibly could.
What a dick!
This cat sucks!
I mean, that sounds like a cat.
Hence, it was the women at their spinning wheel set, spinning a colorful thread for a frock or a little sock.
Because you mustn't let the cat get a hold of the children, they had to go something new to wear from the grown-ups each year.
When the lights came on on Yule's Eve and the cat peered in, the little children stood rosy and proud, all dressed in their new clothes.
Some had gotten an apron, some had gotten shoes, or something that was needed. That's all it took.
For all who got something new to wear stayed out of that pussycat's gasp.
Grasp, even.
He then gave an awful hiss, but went on his way.
Whether he still exists, I do not know, but his visit would be in vain if next time everybody got something new to wear.
Now you might be thinking of helping.
Where help is needed most, perhaps we'll find some children that have nothing at all.
Perhaps searching for those that live in a lightless world will give you a happy day and a merry, merry Yule.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
So the moral is give to those who are less fortunate
is what the moral is.
But the implication isn't like do it because it's the right thing to do.
The implication is if you don't, a cat will eat them.
If you don't take care of these homeless kids, a cat's going to eat them.
That's the story?
That's the takeaway? That's the takeaway?
That's crazy. That's crazy.
Iceland is out of control.
I've never heard anything like this.
This is like...
You know the
Santas who ring the bells for
Salvation Army? If instead
of that, it was a guy with a pamphlet who was like
Save the children or the
cat will get them save the children that's what that is same thing same outcome different strategy
this one's like god if you don't take care of those kids a cat's gonna eat them there's a guy
in the comments that is insane what he's like this isn a legend. It's an allegory of how cats actually destroy
the lives of children and adults.
The cat-shat brain-hijacking
parasite called Toxoplasma
Gandhi, which becomes
a permanent parasite in your brain,
causes stillbirths, miscarriages, and other
neonatal congenital
illnesses. And then he goes on to write
like a 15 paragraph
thing.
Here's the thing. I believe it. I'm with
this guy. I think it's definitely
a lot of the cat owners I know I think have
brain problems. And someone's like
I heard the only defense is a tinfoil
hat.
Someone's like right.
Standard reply of the willfully ignorant
and intellectually lazy.
Oh damn.
Oh man. The internet's
crazy. I love the internet.
Crazy people. It was just like that
guy in the comments the last time where he's just like,
you think mermaids aren't real?
You never had sex with one
before then.
You know, I have a feeling that
most of the world's population on some level
would have some weird brain parasite
then.
If that was the case.
Yeah, I don't know.
I would have a brain parasite
right now.
Science is still out
on that. You may.
You may.
Ah, shit.
I might.
Oh, God.
That's the Icelandic cat.
All right.
Well, that's it for us.
Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you enjoy this podcast.
Crendor, hit up the socials.
Hey, it's social time.
Follow us on all the things.
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I can't talk ever really
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You can also find us on Twitter, twitter.com slash jesscox, twitter.com slash creddor.
We'll probably tweet about Thanksgiving
and Black Friday. Otherwise, we'll talk about it
next week because next week's episode is going to be
Black Friday.
Yes, sir. I can't wait to see what happens.
Here, look. Can't wait.
Everyone out there, start a
riot for us. We'll have nothing to talk about.
That's it for us. Thank you so much.
We'll see you guys next week.
And as always,
where's my bell?
To be continued.