Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 228 - Trial By Combat

Episode Date: January 27, 2020

The boys are back and this time Crendor has tons of stories to tell from his travels - that's right - HE LEFT HOME?!?! The story is even more shocking that that! Also Jesse tries to make an old lady l...augh and a couple caring over a snail is the best thing on earth. That, and trial by combat in the midwest! All this nonsesne and more in this brand new Cox n' Crendor! To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to http://meundies.com/crendor Get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at http://calm.com/cox

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by me undies! Valentine's Day is coming up and you and your significant other will see each other's undies if you're lucky. And maybe they can match! Wouldn't that be swell and not creepy? Also, today we're brought to you by Calm! Calm! You're doing it. That's right, I got it.
Starting point is 00:00:22 Sleep is important every day of the year, but especially now that you have to get back to work after the holidays are over, you are going to need your sleep, and calm is the right place for you to get that sleep. We'll talk about that during the show. Let's jump into the podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Hit me! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendor in the morning!
Starting point is 00:01:01 Cox and Crendor in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome. It's time for another exciting episode of Cax and Crandor in the morning! That sounded like we were going to open to a play. Good morning everyone. Here we are and we are about to start the show. In 16th century London. A man by the name of Snooge McDougalston
Starting point is 00:01:25 works at his lowly smithery. But today, a new adventure awaits him. Yeah. And then it's a musical. It's like, Working in the smithery. I'm working good. That's a terrible musical.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Speaking of musicals, speaking of musicals. Yeah. True love is a flame. Burned so bright. It took me a second, but I got it. Thank you. Yeah, that was a David Lynch original. We need to, before we say anything today, what did Jack do?
Starting point is 00:02:06 I don't know, but he might be going to jail. That is the crazy, you know what? It was very David Lynch, but it was the least David Lynch-y thing I've ever seen. Yeah, I suspect a little crazier, but it was still kind of crazy. I mean, it was a man interrogating a monkey over the murder of a guy named Max for the love of a chicken named Tutabon. Yes, that is true. And for anybody that doesn't know, David Lynch released a Netflix movie that's like 15 minutes, and it's about that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:40 It takes place at a train. I wrote down notes because I was like, I need to talk to Crandall about this because only he and his mind can understand this. Right? Because as we know, David Lynch lays mined eggs which hatch and flow down the river of thought or some nonsense that he said. Yeah, he catches them. So I figured you would have those mined eggs that I could tap into. All right. I could eat them like mind caviar.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Okay. So here's my question. It's in a train station, and David Lynch plays what is obviously a detective but will not admit he's a detective. is a monkey whose train got delayed because there are cops everywhere looking for a killer who murdered a dude because his girlfriend was having an affair.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Maybe. But he also his previous wife hooked up with the janitor. And all I know is I wrote down these lines. You can burn in hell, Jack the Monkey.
Starting point is 00:03:47 That was a line. This other one was great. Let's say for argument's sake I was a horse. Even then, it would be hard to imagine just how hard my wife rode my ass. Jack the Monkey. That's another great line. He sang. There's a song in this about love and how much he loved Tutaban, the chicken. He says that once you get up under the feathers, there's nothing quite like that pair of breasts.
Starting point is 00:04:13 That's another line. I mean, it's great. It's great. When you think about it, it's obviously just like a story of a dude who is being interrogated for the murder of this guy he thinks is cheating with his girlfriend, right? But for the first time ever, I think I see through the code, man. There is so much more going on. When Krendor, was it a setup?
Starting point is 00:04:38 Uh, I don't know. Have I read too much into this? Was it a setup? I don't honestly know. I mean, I watched it once. I only watched it once. I'm going on. I wrote notes, Crandor.
Starting point is 00:04:50 I wrote notes. That's true. Well, maybe I need to watch it a second time and write notes. You need to watch it a second time and not write notes. I'm letting you know. I watched the whole thing. I was totally confused, and I just have been thinking about it for a day and a half. I love mysteries
Starting point is 00:05:07 so I'm obsessed with the fact that this thing exists. But more importantly, at the end, the chicken shows up and he's like, Tutaban! He chases Tutaban down and apparently Tutaban wasn't cheating on him and was waiting up all night for him and was like crying
Starting point is 00:05:24 because she was alone and How much she loved him And I guess because of what happened with his previous relationship He thought that she was doing the same thing As his former wife So he killed her And here's the thing At the end she shows up And she was there the entire time
Starting point is 00:05:40 So either she was there to meet him Or this is where it gets real deep She set his ass up Because she wanted him to kill him Or this is where it gets real deep She set his ass up Because she wanted him to kill that guy And he did it for her Oh shit I know I don't even think that's what the thing's about But I think that's what I figured out the thing's about
Starting point is 00:05:55 Now I want to watch it again And look for that I don't think David Lynch even thinks what I just thought This was about Yeah I don't Honestly It was like it was such a bite sized David Lynch even thinks what I just thought this was about. Yeah, I don't. Honestly, it was like it was such a bite sized David Lynch thing that I was expecting something crazy. And then that all happened at the end. I was kind of confused.
Starting point is 00:06:15 And now I need to watch it again to like re soak it in. Yeah, it's just like watching an episode. It's 13 minutes of a Law and Order episode Except it's done very film noir style So every line is like Listen here, see The cat's pajamas over there in the corner floor So watch yourself, daddy You know, like that kind of stuff
Starting point is 00:06:34 It's nonsense But then the last two minutes are A song that a monkey sings Followed by weird canned screaming And then a monkey chasing down a chicken And going, toodamon! Toodamon! by weird canned screaming and then some a monkey chasing down a chicken and going to the bond which is a thing is that that's the most lynch part the rest of it's pretty standard yeah dude it's in my brain now the name to the bond is terrible what a terrible name
Starting point is 00:07:01 i just felt like i was watching another david lynch thing i was like i know there's some hidden meaning behind this that I'm not picking up the first time. That's how every David Lynch thing is. But I don't know how many David Lynch movies you've watched. You know, Eraserhead and all the classics, all the standards. I would be fine if David Lynch released one of these every week. Because I feel like, I thought this was good. But I feel like he could do better can i tell you something crazy i too was like oh i would love it if david lynch released like a wacky weird movie you know it's 15 minutes every so often and then i realized i did some
Starting point is 00:07:35 research this movie he started talking about making this in 2014 oh my god production in 2016 it was released during a film festival thing in 2017 and only now has it seen the light of day well in five years we're gonna get another nice 15 minute chunk of movie you feel like david lynch has to have like some sort of power to like push it through maybe he's just the one taking forever. I feel like madness does that to people. Like, don't you see? I can't get the monkey's articulations correct. So I've got to move my mouth at a slower speed when I play the monkey.
Starting point is 00:08:20 That takes like five months. Who, by the way, in the credits is just played by himself. The monkey played by himself. David Lynch is a a terrible actor oh yeah he definitely is reminds me of the uh what the song he's saying about the clown where he's like clown is all the show is that song remember yes i do because it had like a crazy clown party yeah and then he's like rachel takes her clothes off and things like that and it's like what the shit's going on party there's the there's the football player who like yeah has a seizure jack is the quarterback do you think he's like working out his problems this like i feel like somehow this is related to his childhood,
Starting point is 00:09:05 and he saw this happen, but it took him 60 years to be like, Susie takes her clothes off. Johnny is not called a pack. Yeah. I feel like he's working through some things. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm ready for it.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Working through crazy stuff is where I want to be in his life. I want to be on that ride with him. So, I'm going to give it another watch, and then I'll report back next week and have notes this time on what I see now that I've heard all this. Yeah, I'm telling you, dive deeper. It's more than just being silly. I'm telling you, dive deeper. It's more than just being silly. You just got to get in there and really look beyond the monkey talking.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Crandor. Right. Definitely got to look beyond. Get beyond the monkey and look to the subtext. Come on. So, yeah. I went to Disneyland I know, hi everyone, my name is Jesse Cox I live in LA
Starting point is 00:10:10 Do you think Crandor messaged me to say it was going to be in Disneyland? Nope, he did not I had to find out through a tweet He broke my heart Would I have loved to go to Disney? Sure Would I have loved to interrupt the weekend That he and his lovely Lady were going to spend together? Yeah, I would have loved to interrupt the weekend that he and his lovely lady were going to spend together?
Starting point is 00:10:27 Yeah, I would have loved to interrupt that. But was I invited? No. No, I wasn't. Well, you, I mean, you found out I was engaged before I tweeted it. So there you go. Yeah, but like, that doesn't involve me. Inviting me to Disneyland does.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Well, I did the second day day but you're like i gotta work what a loser um so i have many stories okay yeah so i've been waiting really excited so first thing we have we have happen is we get our uber or lyft uh And What's this woman and she's like Oh yeah blah blah she seemed pretty normal She was nice we're driving And then she's like so what do you do I'm like oh I do like YouTube Wait where'd you fly into
Starting point is 00:11:13 We went from O'Hare to the Orange County Airport John Alright so it's not nearly as bad as it could have been If you would have said I flew into LAX I would have been like Crandor, you monster. No. You monster. All right, all right, we're good.
Starting point is 00:11:27 We're fine. We went to John Wayne. So we're in the car driving or whatever, and the lady's like, so what do you do? I'm like, oh, yeah, I do YouTube and stuff. And she's like, can you sell, like, products on there? And I was like, I mean, people do, I guess. And she's like, well, I sell these nutritional supplements.
Starting point is 00:11:45 And she's like, they're not like the other nutritional supplements. They actually work. I get letters from people telling me. And I was like, oh, God. What are they? Hold on. What are they? What'd she sell?
Starting point is 00:11:55 I don't remember the name. She gave me a pamphlet, and I threw it out as soon as I walked into the airport. I would have, too. I want to know what she sold, because I would love to go look it up. I don't know. It was just like, it looked like really bad. It was like a pyramid scheme type thing. Because she's like, you can sell the supplements too.
Starting point is 00:12:16 And then I get some of the money and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, that sounds like one of those pyramid schemes or whatever. And she's like, no, no, no. It's better than that. And I was like, is it it i don't think it is uh so that was a fun time then we get in the security and this lady all right you know how you get you they check your thing and you go in the security line you wait to put your stuff in the bins to scan it yeah we're this woman we're standing behind her we're waiting everybody's doing their thing and then we're about to get in the bins to scan it yeah we're this woman we're standing behind her we're waiting everybody's doing their thing and then we're about to get to the bins and she's like
Starting point is 00:12:50 i've had enough and she goes to the other security line which is longer what yeah everybody just looked at each other like what like she's about to that's like being in line at McDonald's for like 10 minutes. You get to like third in line and you're like, I'm done with this. And you go to like a different line that's like 10 people long. I don't know what she was doing. She was stressed out about something. I have no idea what.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Yeah, so I like to think she just really likes waiting in lines. She just keeps swapping back and forth. She's still there to this day. Maybe she was a ghost. She was a ghost who haunts the lines yeah uh some say you can still see her move between the lines so so that was a thing so then everything was fine uh we're all doing our stuff we get through security we got i had like a wrap or something it was a pretty shitty wrap so i got a cheeseburger mcdonald's instead uh which was cheaper uh and then we're getting into the plane and the guy really loudly like a few people behind us is like uh i wrote it down quote it's almost like humans don't expect you to talk to them anymore that guy's so lonely that guy
Starting point is 00:14:06 probably saw someone on a phone was like hey how's it going and they just ignored him yeah he was like oh that's definitely what it was i'm so alone back here he's definitely the type of person to like just talk to everyone and then when someone doesn't pay attention or they're like on their phone or their head pods and he's just like um so that's another guy then we got to the airport uh in orange county and then we got our lift driver probably the best lift driver uh one of the best all he did was he was just like all right guys going to disneyland we're like yeah and he's like all right he just put on jazz and it's just like and then it's just like
Starting point is 00:14:54 that is uh can i tell you can i tell you my secret i i know it's a little bit more expensive but if you get one of the different not like like the normal Lyft or normal Uber, but anything else, the XL or the black, usually what happens is you get a person who's like, I'm a professional and this is my job. And they welcome you to the car and then don't talk to you. And oh, my God, is it the best? It's worth the extra like eight dollars yes i'm like you know what i'll pay for the for not having to talk yeah that is pretty oh my god it's wonderful um so that was nice and i was like uh we like your jazz music and he's like thanks helps me chill out in this traffic i was like yeah so it was cool uh then we got to disneyland
Starting point is 00:15:47 uh there's all the disneyland ducks i wrote down disneyland ducks there are a lot of ducks um then where did you stay at we actually stayed at a uh we stayed near disneyland like a marriott thing but like in disney's a lot of ducks Is what I'm saying Oh I thought you were saying you stayed in Disneyland Like at the whatever those places are called I thought about it The old Milner's house or whatever You know the Disneyland resorts Yeah we thought about it and then we didn't
Starting point is 00:16:17 Uh so That happened um and then Oh my god There were as long as this is happening there's like all the like corona freakouts whatever like in chicago and then everyone's like what happened in orange county yeah are you are you patient zero i don't know um but either way you would know let me tell you i think everyone around me had something because literally everyone on like everybody on the plane, everybody at Disneyland, like everyone was sick. When we were waiting in line at Galaxy's Edge, it was like this entire family, like the daughter.
Starting point is 00:16:53 The dad was giving her like a little NyQuil thing. And then she's like pulls out a thermometer and like shoves it in the other kid's mouth. And then the mom's coughing. I was like, oh, that's why they're all coughing. They're just spreading it around on the thermometer yeah and then there's just like this little girl that walked up to see the like play from like uh beauty and the beast and she's just like eating popcorn and she's like i was like get me out of here
Starting point is 00:17:16 so it was in my mind i was like there's there's no way I'm getting out of here not sick. There's no way. But I would wash my hands. I bathed in Purell. Remember that shit? That was just every ride. I was like... Oh, yeah. You got to do that. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:37 When's the last time you were at Disney? BlizzCon a year before this year. Okay. So you are pre-Galaxy's Edge. You've never been there when this was out. Yeah, so we went to Galaxy's Edge. It was pretty neat.
Starting point is 00:17:49 I liked it. Yeah, it's cool. I bought the weird cat. Oh, the loath cat? The big mouth cat? Yeah, you can pet him and he's like, brr, brr, brr,
Starting point is 00:17:58 and then he's like, brr. Yeah, I know what they're called because I have no life. Wow. Well, I'm going to make a video where cat meets him nice very nice it'll be the cat battle i also uh vlogged some of this i'm gonna make a
Starting point is 00:18:11 non-content disneyland vlog uh i took like a bunch of 10 to 20 seconds do you try all the foods did i try the foods yes when you go to galaxy's edge they everything's like weird do you try oh yeah i uh got a Coke, like in a weird bottle. Everything else had really long lines, though, so I didn't. I saw the cantina and the milk and all that. Yeah, the milk is uh, uh,
Starting point is 00:18:35 the blue one has like a weird sweet taste, and the green one has like a floral taste. They both suck. Yeah, I saw someone drinking the blue one. She's like, it's coconut! But but there is a thing inside the cantina called like a ronto wrap or something huh oh yeah i saw that it's just like a hot dog but it's delicious i don't know what they did to it but it's really good and uh yeah those are fantastic everything else there is all marketing and all stuff to buy oh Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:06 It very much is. Well, they got me because I bought that and I bought another little guy. And the lady trying to put him in the box cage, she's like, you got to put him in the box cage. And she couldn't open it. I'm like, that's fine. You just carry it. She's like, no, no, no. I got it.
Starting point is 00:19:19 I got it. She couldn't get it. Did she put on a show or is she just incapable no she's just incapable of getting the box oh i thought you meant she was like oh this loath cat i can't you know because they do it in character right they're like bright suns everyone right what if they're like oh i can't this one's a feisty one that's what i would do if i worked there i'd be like oh dad nab it he won't get in the cage he'd be like i do a whole show he was very much uh or she was very much uh like struggling to get the little like handle popped open gotcha okay um yeah so that was that was something but
Starting point is 00:19:55 i was i was vlogging bits and pieces because i was i was watching all these people on youtube right all these new vloggers you know like the new era vloggers they have like and they have like fancy texts and they like show little clips from where they're going and they're like what's up guys here i am at the thing all right and here we go and then it's like and then it shows more clips from the thing so they don't talk they just play music and like show they talk but in like little clip portions so they'll be like all right guys well today i'm packing for this thing. I'm not feeling too good, but we're going to get it done,
Starting point is 00:20:28 and we'll see how it goes. And then it shows clips with generic pop. Not pop. What's that? Like chill music, chill vibe, or whatever it is. Lo-fi. Lo-fi, that's it. Not pop, no chill music.
Starting point is 00:20:43 I had to work my way there. Lo-fi, pop, hip-hop, whatever it is not pop you know chill music i had to work my way there lo-fi pop hip-hop whatever it is yeah yeah yeah yeah so i need to put that in it it's gonna be good trust me i got quality film quality um so can i ask you a question yes how long does it take you usually to put one of those together uh oh i haven't made one of those before well actually maybe a long time ago I haven't made one of those before. Well, actually, maybe a long time ago. Probably take me like an hour.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I film stuff in Washington, D.C., and there's a really funny bit at the end. And it's hilarious, and it should be online already. It is now the 26th of January, and I went there on the 1st. Not even up yet. It's just sitting on my computer. Like, I'll get to it. I'll get to it. Oh, boy. Aye, aye, aye. Well. Oh on my computer. Like, I'll get to it. I'll get to it. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Aye, aye, aye. Well. Oh, my God. And then we're waiting in line for the Winnie the Pooh. I almost said Hinny. That's not a character. Wait, you went to the Winnie the Pooh ride? Yeah, because. The one that's for, like, eight-year-olds?
Starting point is 00:21:41 Yes, because Eeyore was there. So while waiting for Eeyore we wrote the ride here's the thing i thought it was a pretty good ride all right and it's weird because it like hits a point where he like it's like lsd in there it's like he eats the honey he's like tripping out um and okay there were like these two instagram women and this guy in line for that ride and she was like my mom was like if you post anything like that i'm blocking you and then she like kept checking herself out in her like instagram camera like as a mirror and then they were talking about being like yeah she's got like
Starting point is 00:22:16 a thousand followers that's like that's and then they're like she's got like 20 30 000 followers that's a lot of followers and i was like like, dude, I got like 20,000. I don't even use this shit. I love how we base everything off of dude, I got 20,000. I don't even use this shit. I mean, I would choose to say like 100,000 like a million or something. I'd be like, oh yeah, that's a lot. But like, she says like 20
Starting point is 00:22:39 or 30,000 or 1,000. It puts it into perspective. Most of the people in the world are not people we know. I guess we are. Everyone we know is like a billionaire asshole with a million followers. And we're like, man, I wish I had a million followers. But most of the world is not that. Most of the world is like, I have a thousand followers, man. That's amazing. Think about this.
Starting point is 00:23:02 In your lifetime until now most people had i don't know five six friends and now to say that you can i send pictures out to a thousand people who like it like that's crazy that's crazy talk yeah that is kind of crazy actually what do you actually remember i remember when i started youtube even then, I remember seeing other people. I was like, man, if I only had like 20,000 subscribers, that'd be all I need. Yeah, and now you're jaded. Now I'm jaded.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Damn, I'm in a bubble. We're in our dream bubble. Yep. Now we just do a podcast where we talk about Disney trips. Yeah. So anyway, then I got a... Oh my my god that's what I bought I bought a Yoda backpack so I saw your Yoda backpack on yeah I took a picture
Starting point is 00:23:53 of him on the chair and I pretty much carried him around he's great for just carrying random stuff like hand sanitizer you wear a Yoda backpack in your real life no so you bought it just for that and that's it For Disneyland and then he can sit on a shelf And I can remember him and he's a cool guy Okay And if I ever need just like a If I go to like a con or something or like whatever
Starting point is 00:24:16 Like if I go to that mini con or whatever And all that other something Like I can just bring him along there you go Bring Yoda and then everyone will be like And so here's the fun story all right so we go out to eat we go to a nice restaurant for like our last night and uh i forgot yoda on the floor because i took him off i put him by the table forgot all right so we're leaving to go to like the downtown Disney and they're like looking at the bags for bag check. And then me and Toaster Woman both were like, oh, you got to take off Yoda because she looked over and I was like, and then we both looked and we were like, Yoda's in the restaurant.
Starting point is 00:24:58 How did you not know that you were missing a backpack? How did she not know when she was like, you got to take off Yoda? Because I was like two glasses of wine in left baby you left baby yoda it was just normal yoda uh side that so i go uh i go to back to the restaurant and the door's locked but then the woman comes holding the yoda walking to the door. And she just opens it up. And she's like, I called you. But, yeah, I saw you forgot your Yoda. He was going to be lonely tonight.
Starting point is 00:25:32 And I was like, thank God you found him. I hate that she was worried for him. He was going to be so lonely tonight. That's so weird. What a weird thing to say. You could have said, like, Yoda missed you. say You could have said like Yoda missed you Or you could have been like I was looking out for you
Starting point is 00:25:49 But she was like Yoda was going to be lonely tonight What does that mean? What was she going to do to that Yoda? I don't know What does she think you're going to do to that Yoda? Yoda was going to be lonely tonight What? Well that one time I went through the bag check and he was the one person was like all right take your bag off take your bag off and he got to me
Starting point is 00:26:12 and he's like up take off the jedi master see that guy that guy yeah it's pretty good um so oh yeah at the restaurant there's this woman who was just, like, talking about her relationship very loudly. She was, like, she was probably, like, a few drinks in. Uh, and she was, like, under 30. What restaurant was this? What? What restaurant was this? We ate at the Napa Rose.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Ooh, that's a very good one. It is. That's the one thing I, i would go to disneyland just eat at nappa rose it's delicious yeah me and my friend me and my friend nick are like food douches and so he introduced me to it like five years ago and ever since then every time i go to disneyland like gotta eat nappa rose gotta do it i don't care if i gotta like save up pennies i want to get my like super dinner i get it i get it that place is wonderful yeah so there's this woman there and she's like under 30 you can get away with it but when you're over
Starting point is 00:27:12 like you should know and i was like what is happening and then she was like i hate that you only catch snippets and then you tune them out yeah there's so much i need to know and then she's like and then his kids like she has he hasn't even had me meet his kids yet. And I was like, oh, God. Oh, well, that's because that's weird, lady. Yeah. Hey, kids, this is the woman I'm dating to replace your mother. That's weird.
Starting point is 00:27:37 You don't do that. That takes time. Yeah, it is weird. And then later on, she's like, I'm in tears from work, and then I have to deal with this crap. I can't deal with this crap. Laura won't even like my decisions. Well, here's the thing. I agree with Laura.
Starting point is 00:27:51 You sound like you were incapable of making good decisions. So Laura probably knows what's up. Yeah. Oh, she probably does. Screaming loudly at Navarro is drunkenly talking about a guy and his kids. Not a great decision. So I'm going to side with Laura on this one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:08 It was, I don't know. It was a very loud, weird table, but I'm glad we sat there and got to hear them. Oh, yeah, and then there was on our way back to the hotel, because we stayed at the same hotel we went to BlizzCon for, because we were just like, oh, you know, you save, like, the money. Honestly, you save the money walking to eat
Starting point is 00:28:28 at Napa Rose that you would have spent just staying in a hotel that's got slightly better stuff and Goofy on the wall. Slightly better stuff is always... Sometimes it's not even the case. Yeah, that's true. It's not like Disney World where the hotels on the property are amazing.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Oh yeah, Disney World. I'd want to stay there. But Disneyland, like, I don't know. So we're walking back. And this couple's, like, walking down. And they're just, like, kneeling on the road looking at something. And we were like, what are they doing? We walked past.
Starting point is 00:29:00 And the guy's just like, I mean, I think he's going to be okay. He's just a snail doing snail things. Oh, my God. I love that couple. I love them. They were like, honey, is that snail hurt? Hold on, dear. Let me look.
Starting point is 00:29:15 All right. Well, it appears he's fine. Just a snail doing snail things. Oh, thank God. I was so worried. They were very concerned about the snail. I was like, hey, at least someone is. I love that they were.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Oh, that's beautiful. Oh, God. Thankfully, he's safe. I want to know what they saw and what they thought was normal snail behavior. Like, what did they see that worried them? And then, once they looked again, what did they see that they were like, oh, well, he's fine. It's normal snail stuff. I don't know, honestly.
Starting point is 00:29:47 But something did because. Because it happened and you saw it. And I mean, that was, I think that pretty much was what happened. That was your entire Disney trip. And then I met all the, I met Tigger winnie the pooh and eeyore and finally went to to poo acres where the thousand acre wood area and just that's all you did we went all over no we also went to the uh we pretty much rode everything we rode pirates of the caribbean indiana jones twice uh that's the best ride indiana jones best ride
Starting point is 00:30:22 there i'd say close second is the soaring one Where you're like soaring and they spray the smells at you Every time I'm there and my mom is like Let's go to Disney I'm like alright That's the one we go to every time Because it scares her to death She freaks out I love it
Starting point is 00:30:36 It's so simple you're just sitting in a chair like fake flying My mom is like She loses her mind it's so funny oh man it's great and uh let's see what else uh yeah we rode like all the like weird rides at night because there's only like a one minute queue like we rode mr toad's thing so i never rode that which was you know it's like an old ass ride just going a big loop big loop loop de loop thing right or the teacups we did or dumbo uh so you know we we pretty much got uh it's a small world oh yeah we did it was like a two minute wait for that so it's a small world and it here's the thing with that. After like two minutes, I'm like, all right, I get it. It's a small world, all right?
Starting point is 00:31:26 It is a trip. There are parts of that ride where whatever the design is, it looks like you're on acid. Oh, yeah, it does. All I'm going to say, if you ever go on that ride, look at the walls and look at the weird sun. Look at everything besides the kids. Ignore the kids who are saying, eh, it's a small – ignore those kids. Look at everything else. It's like melting walls and weird psychedelic colors and things that shouldn't be there.
Starting point is 00:31:59 Oh, it is strange. It is. There's a dark part to that entire ride that I don't like at all. At the end, there's a giant sun that's like, oh, it's so small. It is terrifying. It just reminds me of the Simpsons where they parried it, and they're like, Duff beer for me. Duff beer for you.
Starting point is 00:32:18 And then just like Lisa, drink the water, and then she goes on an acid trip. Yeah, that's pretty much what it is. So, yeah, that was fun and then you know coming back oh my god on the plane back again it was like every five seconds you just hear someone cough or sneeze and i was like get me off this like germ box it was and then we like had the taxi for like 30 minutes and everyone's like, and I was like, okay, well, uh, this isn't good. And then that night, last night I was like just sitting there and I was tired and then I felt it starting to hit.
Starting point is 00:32:55 I was like, oh God, my like lymph nodes, my glands were like getting swollen and irritated. I was starting to get achy and fatigued and I was like, I'm taking a bath. So I took a bath and then I went to bed early. For me, 3 a.m. And then I woke up at noon after my like nine and a half hours of sleep and I felt great.
Starting point is 00:33:16 You powered through. You did it. I powered through. So I think I fought off a couple coronas and a flu during that sleep. You really defeated all the viruses. It was the sleep that did it, I think I fought off a couple of Coronas and a flu through during that sleep. You really, you really needed all the viruses. It was, it was the sleep that did it.
Starting point is 00:33:29 I think. Yeah. So fun time. I, yeah, I have no stories like that. I went to San Antonio and I, we did our car.
Starting point is 00:33:40 We did our, uh, scary game squad live show. Oh my God. Actually Crandor. Oh my God. Actually, Crendor. Oh, my God. Okay. So we went to San Antonio for PAX, right?
Starting point is 00:33:52 We also did it to do Scary Game Squad live. I had a lot of fun at the convention. You know, PAX out there is fun. It's really chill. You know how that is. But when we did our live show, it was at, like, you know Cox's Crandor Live is in a bar slash glorified rock club? Yeah. And actual real bands with real talent have been there?
Starting point is 00:34:12 Well, take that and times 50. We were at the Tobin Center for the Performing Arts. There are orchestras. Hold on. Let me just go. You have to see this It's insane Alright Tobin Center for the Performing Arts
Starting point is 00:34:29 Here are other people that That are going to be there Or that were there Just remember This is This is We went there to go play scary games And get drunk
Starting point is 00:34:40 Just keep that in mind Alright Up next The San Antonio Symphony Beethoven's 7th An Evening with C.S. Lewis starring David Payne Is one of them Violin Impossible
Starting point is 00:34:55 Dr. Jane Goodall 60 Years of Discovery The Monkees The Beach Boys I just looked this up it was crazy Right but then here's the best part Then The reason why I was like oh we fit in perfectly
Starting point is 00:35:13 Is because also Featured is Blippi Live Also featured is Paw Patrol Live Race to the Rescue Yeah you fit right in. And The Office, a musical parody. And such great things as Interstellar Sky Guitar,
Starting point is 00:35:36 a fascinating musical journey between two worlds. I want you to go down, look this up. Either go to where it says menu and all. Okay. Or I'll send you the link to this guy because once I saw this, I realized this is where I belong. And I wish I lived in San Antonio. All right. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:35:56 That guy is already living in the sky. Right? Oh, my God. Here's the crazy thing. His tickets were more expensive than ours. Oh, my God. So he's got to put on a better show. I think that's how it works. Oh my god, here's the crazy thing His tickets were more expensive than ours Oh my god So he's got to put on a better show, I think that's how it works I just clicked on his
Starting point is 00:36:10 Thing on Spotify and he's actually rocking out Experience an evening of true Musical passion and inspiration Uli takes you on a 360 degree Journey into his world of artistic Imagination Uli John Roth Has always been a man with a mission And and in 2020, he's embarking on a
Starting point is 00:36:27 truly epic one-man solo tour around the world. The trailblazing German-born guitar genius of Scorpions fame. Oh, he's in the Scorpions. Oh. So he rocks you like a hurricane. Oh, I get it. He just looks like an old hipster, like an old hippie guy. He does. Yeah, it's's so funny there's so many Join Jane
Starting point is 00:36:49 Jane Lynch and Kate Flannery In Two Lost Souls Actually real things happening here And then there was us And then we were here as well It was crazy and so the entire time It was wild We had so the entire time, it was wild. We had a sold-out show.
Starting point is 00:37:07 There were, I'm going to say, half a dozen ushers there. And so as we're doing the show, I come out and I introduce everyone. And there are all these ushers on the side. And I realized within moments that they were all, I'm going to say, 40-plus. Right. Which hit me. Not one of them has a clue what our show is. Not one of them.
Starting point is 00:37:30 And so they have to sit there and watch this show. And so I made it my life goal for the evening. Look, for everyone who's in the audience, I love you. And I hope you had a wonderful time. But from that moment on, my goal was to make those six ushers laugh. I was like, I'm going to win those six ushers laugh i was like i'm gonna win these six people over so help me god there was an old lady and i kept looking over at her and i was like if she thinks this is funny this shit's funny and so i spent all night trying to make this old
Starting point is 00:37:56 lady laugh i was like i'm gonna get her laugh here's what i learned four of them big fans two of them they left two of them like not for me but four of them i got and. Two of them, they left. Two of them were like, not for me. But four of them I got, and I felt really good about it. So that's my big takeaway. And that was during PAX, right? Yes, it was during PAX. And the reason why, people were like, why don't you do a show at PAX? Because we're drinking live on stage. I'd love to bring booze to PAX, but I feel like that's not going to happen, gang.
Starting point is 00:38:27 So, you know, it was worth the $20-some dollars. It was worth it. Trust me. Everyone who went had a lovely time. And if they didn't, they didn't tell me, so. Are you changing Coxconn to some other thing? Oh, yeah. Here's the deal. For people who are curious, Coxconn will uh some other thing oh yeah um here's the deal for people who are curious
Starting point is 00:38:47 their coxconn will not be happening this year because all of the staff who did all of the work have all aged up and like moved on with their lives and are doing infinitely better things when they started working with me on rpg makers it was 2012 And they were like teens. And now it's 2020. They're adults with real lives and real jobs and real stresses. And running a con takes a whole year. Surprise. And it also takes a ton of money.
Starting point is 00:39:15 And every year it would take more time and more money. And the more people I brought and the more we tried to do just cost more and more and more and more. And it became one of those things that like we'd only ever break even. That's all we ever did. It was always designed for the sake of being an event for fun.
Starting point is 00:39:32 It wasn't like I'm making bank off of this. It never happened. So I was like, all right, well, the staff is moving on, which means I'd have to bless their sweet souls. They worked for basically my love that's really what it was and i you know the fact that they did it for five years it blows me away because lord knows i couldn't afford to pay them and so uh now i'd have to do that i have to hire a staff right in order to do that and that's more money which when you're trying to make three video games is also
Starting point is 00:40:04 money you don't have. So I was like, what do I do? Either I cancel it. We talked about this with the staff. I was like, either we just flat out don't do it anymore or we decide that we are going to move it to the US, which would make it cheaper, but that sort of defeats the point. We could maybe move it to someplace and do like a really small convention and call it a life and try to like start over from scratch. And I was like, all those things are fine. But what if I reached out to Rezzed, which is sort of like the indie game themed developer forward play a bunch of games convention in London.
Starting point is 00:40:40 I've been there a few times. It's wonderful. It has a very PAX South vibe to it. It's super chill, which is exactly what I love. But one thing they don't have is like a huge community of people who just want to go there just to go there, right? People go there to see the new games. They, at least in my experience, aren't there because like, I want to see the friends that are going to show up. And so I immediately thought, what if we tried to bring the Coxconn vibe of that to Rezzed? It's not like EGX or anything.
Starting point is 00:41:09 One of the bigger conventions that it's impossible to make it have a community vibe because it's so big. But with Rezzed, I felt like maybe there was a chance. So I pitched that idea to them, and they were like, yo, that sounds awesome. like, yo, that sounds awesome. And so they wanted to try and do something in 2021 because Rez 2020 is two months away. And so I was like, well, let's do a test run. Let's see what happens. And so we agreed to do a test run to see how the community responds, to see how people show up, to see if anyone's anyone's interested right and so we're doing a whole jesse late night show where i take over after uh the latter half of the day and we're doing panels during the day and meetups and autograph signings and we're gonna try and make it uh something where we can form a cool community of the coxconn people that attended coxconn in
Starting point is 00:42:03 telford and bring them into London and hopefully create something wonderful and special with Rez as the foundation of something new. That's kind of the way I see it. Honestly, it's, it's my olive branch to the UK to be like, look, Coxconn was beautiful. I love you. I had a lot of fun, but it's expensive. It requires getting an entire new staff and retraining people learning things there's a lot to it the best solution I could think of was let's try and do this
Starting point is 00:42:32 and so if it works, amazing I really truly hope it does maybe I'd go to one of those yeah, Rez is great it's run by ReadPop the same people who do PAX who do EGX Who do all that stuff
Starting point is 00:42:47 And so I was like Yes let's work on this Let's do something Let's make this happen And it's in London? It's right in the heart of London It is a convention that has The last time I went they had like a hundred indie games
Starting point is 00:43:04 And they're all like They range from Life is Strange level indie, which is not really indie, to like super indie. Which is like, this is a game about being a fairy that cleans the mouth of kids, right?
Starting point is 00:43:17 You know, like those types of games. And it's neat. It isn't very showy. It's right down, it's right in the middle of Londonondon see that's what could convince me so i don't have to go anywhere i just go to a london and i'm just like all right i'm here yeah i mean look if you if 2021 is the year for you you you tell me and i will make it happen um straight up if you go to the res the website i'm trying to think of the yeah we're down there the jesse cox's late night show that's us, I'm trying to think of the – yeah, we're down there.
Starting point is 00:43:45 Jesse Cox's Late Night Show. That's us. But I'm trying to find the games because I don't care about me. I don't care about me. I'll be there. I'm trying to see what games there are. There's 250 playable games on the show floor. And some of the ones that they have on the website right now are things like Iris and the Giant.
Starting point is 00:44:05 I don't know what this game is. It's a French game that looks beautiful. It looks like paper craft. There's Democracy 4 is going to be there. Oh, my God. I want to play that and make a dictatorship. There's King Under the Mountain. There's Adventure Pals.
Starting point is 00:44:22 Is it the same Adventure Pals that I played with Dodger? It is! Oh my god. Yeah, Unbound. There's a ton of games there. And so, it's basically... How would I describe it? It's like if Coxconn had an actual, real gaming hall.
Starting point is 00:44:42 Yeah. It's my dream. That's what I want. I want it to have that vibe of like, it's, it's res, but I want to be an added benefit and added value to rest and be like, look,
Starting point is 00:44:52 we're going to try and make this something that you feel comfortable out there. People coming to that. Isn't just like, it doesn't feel game Debbie. It feels like an experience, a community. So that's what I hope to bring.
Starting point is 00:45:03 And that's what I hope we can establish together fingers crossed yeah well the only thing i got left to say is i wish i was able to ride that cars ride but the way it was like 120 minutes oh my god can i just tell you um i think i told you this the last time i was in cars Land, I was so high. Oh, my God. Because you mentioned earlier, you were talking about the fake mountains in Galaxy's Edge. In Cars Land, they have fake mountains. Yeah, I love those. And I was so high that I thought the – I couldn't tell the – I was like, is the sky fake too?
Starting point is 00:45:41 Because everything – I'm telling you, even if you're not high, go look at those mountains and look at the sky. And because the mountains are so obviously fake, your brain is just like, the sky must be fake too. I'm telling you, just look at it. Ignore all the cars that talk to you around, like around you. Ignore all that. Look up at the sky at the fake mountains and tell me it isn't trippy as balls. Now imagine being high at the time and you would be like, oh no. Oh yeah, I was not in a good place.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I was like, mmm. Yeah, those are some crazy mountains. Disney. Speaking of crazy, why don't you have me on the audience? Yeah. That's so crazy. That was my transition. Very nice. Nailed it. Thank you. Love is in the
Starting point is 00:46:24 air. So grab some L lysol because it's dirt uh just kidding um even though it's a made-up holiday it's still really cute and it's the perfect time to show that special someone how much you care and say those three words everyone wants to hear. Free real estate. Oh. Match my MeUndies? Free real estate? Free real estate in my pants.
Starting point is 00:47:02 MeUndies has the most adorable Valentine's Day prints to get all lovey-dovey this year. Don't worry if you don't have a boo. MeUndies also makes buddy bands so you can match your pet, which is honestly much more important to people. Dude, I want to get my cat some underwear. When you think of your Valentine, show them how much you love them by getting them a matching pair of MeUndies, the two of you, right?
Starting point is 00:47:22 Get them MeUndies, and then invite them over. You know, start smooching and open a bottle of Champignon and then drink that down and be like, I have something I want to show you. Pull down your pants and they're going to suspect it's dirty, but it's not. It's going to be the same pair of underwear that you bought them. Whoa. And they'll be like, oh, you do care. And you'll be like, yeah, care And you'll be like Yeah I care
Starting point is 00:47:45 And then Then that's when You do it Also They have lounge wear So that's a thing too Wow The lounge wear
Starting point is 00:47:56 Is actually very cool And comfy And it is made With the same stuff As the undies And they're great They really are I
Starting point is 00:48:04 Am not even gonna lie When I say that right now on my desk in front of me is a pair of MeUndie boxes that I just got that are – it's a taco and hot sauce and it's the perfect couple. And I love it. It's just a bunch of tacos and hot sauce. And they're like, I love you. And I love that they love each other because that's how I feel about tacos and hot sauce. Wow.
Starting point is 00:48:24 So I just got those. I love you. And I love that they love each other because that's how I feel about tacos and hot sauce. Wow. So I just got those. I love them. Also, I think they still have, if you're still in your Star Wars fandom phase, I think they still have some of the Star Wars prints from the holidays. I know that I saw the Ewoks one on there still. So if you want to put Ewoks on your E, you know what I mean. You know the rhyme there. You can do that. MeUndies has a great
Starting point is 00:48:49 offer for our listeners. If you're a first time purchaser, get 15% off and free shipping. It's a no brainer, especially because we have 100% satisfaction guarantee people. Get 15% off your first pair, free shipping, 100% satisfaction guarantee guarantee i can't even speak
Starting point is 00:49:06 100 satisfaction guarantee go to me undies.com slash crendor try them out it will change your undies life you'll be like i don't know jesse trust us everyone who's ordered them has been like oh my god you guys are right i honestly don't even remember a time when I didn't wear me on these. I have worn both the boxer briefs and the boxers. Love them both. Sometimes you just want to air things out. Sometimes you want it all tight up in there, and sometimes you want to just free ride. And that's fine.
Starting point is 00:49:40 I have both. And you can too. They have men's sizes, women's sizes, all the way from super small to 4XL. You can get whatever you want from normal, boring, gray to pink penguins dancing. Who knows? Go to MeUndies.com slash Cndor and get your undies today that's me also today we're brought to you by calm calm oh my goodness sleep you need it in your life oh my god i needed it yesterday i had to fight off all those things right crendor did nine hours of sleep i bet you could have done more if you had the power of God.
Starting point is 00:50:27 I probably could, but I woke up and I was feeling refreshed. I was like, I'll take it. Well, not many people can do that. Many people don't have that power to just instantly fall asleep and wake up refreshed. Sometimes you need a little help. You just got done with all the parties and the New Year's nonsense and the endless shopping and all that stuff. And now you're back to school or back to work, and it's tough. It's tough to get back on a schedule, especially this time of year when it's dark out earlier,
Starting point is 00:50:54 and everything's all screwed up, and oh, it's a pain. Even my sleep schedule's been out of whack. Thankfully, I have calm, and it helps me, because stress don't worry me at night, right? I don't have to worry about different things if I've got calm in the background. And I'm gonna let you know, this is, this is what I've been listening to the last couple days. This is my recently played list. 24 minutes of happy little Z's with Bob Ross.
Starting point is 00:51:24 City rain, which is literally just the sound of... I don't know how long it is. I think it might be an unlimited playlist where it just plays the sound of rain on a window. Oh, I love that sound. And it has like the honking of the horns. I love big city rain sounds.
Starting point is 00:51:40 Oh, it makes me so happy. And I also listened to The Ancient Way of Tea Hmm Yeah, that one was good That was really nice There's also another one that I tried to listen to But I fell asleep
Starting point is 00:51:56 Called How to Meditate A simple 30 day program I fell asleep on day one So I think I got it It knocked me out I was like, one, so I think I got it. It knocked me out. I was like, I got what I wanted. I was going to try and be all peaceful, but I just fell asleep. It works. You can try
Starting point is 00:52:13 Calm, the number one app for sleep and relaxation, right now. It'll transform your nights, which means better days. Check out Sleep Stories. They can help you fall into a deep, natural sleep within minutes. Stories narrated by iconic voices like LeVar Burton or Nick Offerman. And right now, you can go to calm.com slash cox and you'll get a limited time offer for 40% off a premium
Starting point is 00:52:39 subscription. It includes hundreds of sleep stories and tons of other content like soothing music from artists like Sam Smith, guided meditations, breathing exercises, so much more to help you fall asleep or get a few minutes during the day where you can just chill out. Tamara Leavitt, is that her sweet name? I love her. She does 10-minute everyday calming exercises where usually I'll do it before I get out of bed. I'll sit there and just be like, ooh, I am taking 10 minutes for me. And it's great. It starts your day because it's breathing.
Starting point is 00:53:15 It's like, oh, right? You're Darth Vader of your life and you just feel it. I'm letting you know you fall into the force, y'all. Over 60 million people use Calm. Join them today and get the sleep you need tonight. For our listeners, again, special limited time promotion, 40% off, Calm premium subscription at calm.com slash cox. Go there right now.
Starting point is 00:53:43 That's calm.com slash cox. Calm. All right, Crandall,.com slash cox. Com. All right, Crandall, let's go to traffic. I'm going to see if I can find this guy. Crandall, there's a lot of traffic out there. Hey, traffic. It's traffic, all right. There's some planes, trains, automobiles. Everybody's hustling and bustling on the grind, keeping it real and having a good time.
Starting point is 00:54:05 Unless they're stuck in traffic, in which case they're having a bad time but tell you what watch out for germs back to you thanks Crandor now let's go to Y-A-N. Y-A-N? Yan? Yan. Yana? Yana, Concha, Peru. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Hello, Peru. Yana, Concha, Peru. Pasco region. 49 degrees. Tonight tonight 42 degrees 10 chance of rain you had some light winds uh coming out of the south uh monday night however is going to be rainy as well as monday uh 65 degrees high of 65 degrees like i just said 80 chance of rain you got an 80 chance of uh having a fun time if you like rain and a uh 20 chance of fun if you don't like rain um monday night 44 degrees 60 chance rain tuesday you got a 90 chance of rain thunderstorms watch out again
Starting point is 00:55:21 and tuesday night 44 degrees 80 chance rain. It's a lot of rain in Yon- Yon- Con- Yon- Con- Yon- Yon- Con- Cha. Oh my god! I went to the 10 day. It's literally thunderstorms like every day. Probably the rainy season, right?
Starting point is 00:55:40 I would imagine. I guess so. It's literally an 80-90% every day. It's just thunderstorm every day. That's the weather. All right, Crandor. Sports?
Starting point is 00:55:56 Sports. Let's see. Pro Bowl happened today. AFC beat the NFC. They actually tried out some new thing where instead of onside kicks, they get 4th and 15 from the 20-yard line, and they have to convert it. And then if they do, they keep the ball,
Starting point is 00:56:11 which is honestly a lot more exciting than an onside kick. So I hope they keep that. Yeah, because no one really uses the onside kick all that much. Well, they try, but it's just extremely unsuccessful. So this at least has some hype, and you keep the offense out, like you're like oh they can get it maybe they're on fire they keep you know they get i don't know it's just it's a lot more sure sure uh also kobe bryant died that was the big news of the day yeah i helicopter crash man that sucks yeah i honestly i do not trust any like small plane or helicopter like any like personal
Starting point is 00:56:47 thing it's always i don't trust those because that seems like where all the crashes happen scares me so yeah it scares me so much and i see all these celebrities do it all the time and i guess it's considered a fluke i understand and that's why it's so terrible and shocking but every single time it's a small airplane or a small – Harrison Ford has crashed his plane three times now? Yeah. I just – it's terrifying to me, and I keep thinking that I guess it's the convenience of being a celebrity and you can afford to take private whatever.
Starting point is 00:57:16 But I also think, boy, sometimes it pays to have the federal government, like, really get on airlines cases and make them go through some rigorous things. Yeah. I don't know. I would have a lot of anxiety on those, but that sucks because he's only 41. I guess his daughter died in it too,
Starting point is 00:57:37 so it's just a sad time. And then let's see in baseball, there's the whole like Astros cheating thing. Still going on. The Dodgers, a little pissed about it. Yeah, a little bit. And then over in the NHL, they just had the All-Star game,
Starting point is 00:58:00 so they're halfway done with their season. And that's pretty much it for sports can i tell you the more i think about the sports segment the more i realize it's not really a segment for people who like sports but more of a segment for people who don't care but need to know just enough to get through a conversation with someone oh yeah it really is i mean i have my football podcast i do every week with Rob, Alpaca Patrol, Bear Taffy, and Sinvicta, where we nerd out about football.
Starting point is 00:58:31 It's essentially like my group for football to what yours is for Star Wars and Illuminati stuff. Roughly equivalent. I'm just like, why would they go for it on fourth and one? You got to run the ball. You got the momentum on your side they're playing a back they're playing a prevent defense you got your shift on you got the you know bosses on the left why aren't you running it uh so that's where we nerd out and go crazy honestly i was tied with synvicta for the best prediction we actually had
Starting point is 00:59:02 a thing where we compared our predictions to all the networks, like ESPN, CBS, all that, and we were on point with them. And they didn't even pick all the games. We picked every game. So take that, networks. That's beautiful. Yeah. You're very skilled.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Yeah. It's just I always feel like when I listen to the news we get for sports, it's always just enough so that if you don't like sports, you can still be at the office and be like, oh, yeah, this thing I heard on Cox and Crandor. And then people will be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they won't think you're like, you know, a complete loser. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Well, that's what we try to do around here. You can be a loser, but not a complete loser. Yeah, don't be a complete loser. Never go fool loser yeah um yeah so the super bowl is chiefs verse uh the 49ers i wanted packers titans and because of that i actually knew for a fact it was going to be chiefs 49ers and it was uh probably also because they're both better teams so So that also plays into it. But it'll be a better Super Bowl than last year.
Starting point is 01:00:08 I'll tell you that much. Who do you think is going to win? It's actually really, really – I would say I'd put more money on the 49ers because I think they have a better team. I was going to say the 49ers too. Like, you know what? Shout out to all the Chiefs fans. Well, the thing is, right, the 49ers have really good, you know what? Shout out to all the Chiefs fans, but.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Well, the thing is, right, the 49ers have really good defense, pass rush, and they run the ball. So when they start running the ball, they just wear you down. So the defense gets worn down. But the Chiefs have at Mahomes a high-powered offense. So if they get out in front ahead,
Starting point is 01:00:39 the 49ers can't run the ball as much. So it's going to be like if the Chiefs go up fast, right, then the 49ers got to play to the Chiefs game. And they're not as strong as that. So the Chiefs might have the edge. But if the 49ers go up first, then they'll have the edge. They can just run the ball, control the clock. Then the Chiefs have to play to that. And you get a wacky situation.
Starting point is 01:00:54 If you replaced everything you just said with like the TIE Fighter Twin Ion Engine, it can only go so fast compared to the X-Wing. And if the two of them are engaged in combat one has better weapon damage per firing rate it's the exact same conversation oh my god last week when i was watching the packer 49er game my dad like the packers just opened up by stopping the 49ers they got the fourth and one and i was like they have to go for it it's at the 50 yard line they have to go for it my dad was like no they gotta punt they gotta punt it. I was like, you don't understand. If they punt this ball, they're gonna lose.
Starting point is 01:01:28 And they punted the ball, and they lost. I was like, they had the momentum. They had everything going. You can pick up a yard, you keep going, you pull out ahead, you play to your game, you get rid of the 49ers run game because you start taking a lead, controlling the clock, and then boom, they give back to the 49ers. They take the momentum, they get the lead, they control
Starting point is 01:01:44 the clock, and it's all over. I be a coach and that's sports all right crenda what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day kansas man tries to settle ugly custody battle with trial by combat with japanese swords i mean it's kansas so you Where else are you going to find trial by combat in Japanese It makes sense Alright hold on Okay A Kansas man is thrown down the gauntlet To his ex-wife and her attorney Seeking court permission to settle their
Starting point is 01:02:16 Child custody case on the field Of battle I love that he's seeking court He's like Your honor I want to fight For my honor with my sword And he unsheathes his katana And the judge is like
Starting point is 01:02:31 I'll allow it David Ostrom 40 Claims in court papers that Ex-wife Bridget Ostrom 38 And her attorney Matthew Hudson Have already destroyed him legally In their ongoing legal battle in Iowa. I now wish to give them the chance to meet me on the field of battle
Starting point is 01:02:50 where I will rend their souls from their dot, dot, dot bodies, Ostrom wrote in the filling. Filing. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. For Flourish, he said, I will rend their souls from their bodies. Wait, wait, wait, wait. For Flourish, he said, I will rend their souls from their bodies. No, he said,
Starting point is 01:03:14 or I will rend their souls from their bodies. Oh, yeah, I like this. He asked the judge for a three-month delay so he could obtain Japanese samurai swords ready for his planned combat. Wait a minute, he doesn't even own them? He doesn't even own them yet. He said he got the idea after seeing the New York case of Richard Luthman, the Staten Island attorney who also sought trial by combat to settle a beef with another lawyer and his clients. trial by combat to settle a beef with another lawyer and his clients.
Starting point is 01:03:44 To this day, trial by combat has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in the United States. Ostrom argued in court records, adding that it was used as recently as 1818 in British court. Shut up. Shut up. Hey, you know,
Starting point is 01:03:59 as recent as 200 years ago, he told the Des Moines register that his wife could choose her attorney as her champion to stand for her in battle. I think I've met Mr. Hudson's absurdity with my own absurdity, he told the paper. If Mr. Hudson is willing to do it, I will meet him.
Starting point is 01:04:18 I don't think he's got the guts to do it. Two... You know what? I would love to see two lawyers go at it with swords i'd actually very much like to see that that would be pretty great honestly uh hudson referred to himself as the potential combatant in his own cheeky legal response filed in shelby county district court although the respondent and the potential combatant do have souls to be rendered they have respectfully request that the court not order this done hudson wrote i love i love how they had to make that clear yes you do have souls and they can be rendered however we would like you not to do
Starting point is 01:04:57 that please he noted that the potentially life-ending ramifications of a duel surely outweigh their fight over property tax and custody issues. Of course. That's so funny. Until the proper procedural steps to initiate a court proceeding are followed, this court will take no further action concerning any motion objection or petition filed by either party at this time to judge rule so no trial by combat no yeah no trial by combat unfortunately dude that's so funny
Starting point is 01:05:34 do you think Anzus man could be the soul render and like fight for the main I hate the fact that there is now a character named soul renderer I hate the fact that there is now a character named Soul Renderer. I hate that so much. I dislike that.
Starting point is 01:05:50 What about that guy? Was that other guy also from Kansas? The guy who had the mace and did cosplay and hurt people? I don't remember. Where was he from? I don't even remember that. This sounds like the beginning of a D&D party it does
Starting point is 01:06:07 I am the sole renderer for a LARPing session both would be great would be wonderful and the other two stories just briefly deaf man sues porn hub
Starting point is 01:06:19 over lack of closed captions come on give him some closed captions and then come on someone get in there and do that.
Starting point is 01:06:25 Falling iguanas are because they're cold-blooded and they're just falling asleep and then they kind of hibernate and then they wake up after a while and they warm up. Right, they fall on people. It's science. It's science. They're just like, ah, shit, I'm back. Speaking of science, someone figure out how to make
Starting point is 01:06:41 subtitles for porn. Get on that. Yeah, get on that. Closed caption porn. I can't believe it. That's it. All right. Well, that's it for us as well.
Starting point is 01:06:53 Thank you so much for listening or watching. However, you enjoying this podcast. Crandor, hit them with the socials. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. Facebook.com slash Crandor. Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. Facebook.com slash Crandor. Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Crandor.
Starting point is 01:07:09 YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitter.com slash Crandor. Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitch.tv slash Crandor. Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox. Follow us on Spotify, SoundCloud, YouTube. Subscribe. Hit the bell.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Ding, ding. And iTunes and all that other stuff. Give us five stars. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Tell everyone about us, please. Ding, ding. And iTunes and all that other stuff. Give us five stars. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Tell everyone about us, please. Ding, ding. All right.
Starting point is 01:07:31 Well, thank you so much. We'll see you guys next time. And as always, to be continued.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.