Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 245 - You Remember This Show?
Episode Date: June 29, 2020This episode Jesse and Crendor deep dive into their favorite childhood shows on Nick and Disney, as well as discover Jesse's extreme love of Mariska Hargitay.... or was it Mrs. Frizzle? That and a man... melts coffee beans while jumping off a roof! It's definitely time for an all new Cox n' Crendor! Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at http://BoxofAwesome.com and enter the code COX at checkout.
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Hello, everybody. Welcome to the next episode of the Kex and Crendor in the morning!
Hello everybody, good morning!
Today Crendor has been replaced by that blue frog from the early 2000s.
Hi, hi, hi, blue frog, or whatever the hell it was called.
Hey, how's it going?
What was that frog called?
It was like the...
Oh, no.
The something frog.
Crazy frog.
Right.
Crazy, yeah. What's a crazy frog?
I was going to say scat frog, but I
Got a frog is a terrible name
Well yeah, but he might play a scat man music scat man John maybe yeah, you'd be like
Right I don't know I didn't really listen to that shit. I thought it's terrible
Healers and I knew that because it's in WoW videos from back then.
It was like... Oh, oh.
Scatman John?
Yeah.
I love Scatman John.
Oh, don't get me wrong.
I'm talking about Crazy Frog.
Oh, yeah.
Crazy Frog.
Crazy Frog origin is 1997 from Sweden.
That sounds about right.
Crazy Frog Axel F, the official video.
No, thank you. There's only one Axel F. That's Axel F, the official video. No, thank you.
There's only one Axel F.
That's Axel Foley.
Thank you very much.
And more importantly, that was also around the time of the hamster dance.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Which I think is far better.
The hamster dance was always better. It was like...
I don't think that...
I don't think that was it.
I don't think that was it. I don't think that was it at all.
Come on, everybody.
Here we go.
Come on, everybody.
It's the Hamster Dance.
It wasn't.
Well, maybe.
Maybe.
See, I'm so old.
I remember the Hamster Dance from when it was just a website.
It was the same song that played over and over and over again. And then they came out with lyrics and stuff, and I was like, no, I'm so old, I remember the Hamster Dance from when it was just a website and it was the same song that played over and over and over again.
And then they came out with lyrics and stuff, and I was like, nah, I'm out.
This is, nah, I'm good.
I don't need this anymore.
No, that was the Hamster Dance.
No, the Hamster Dance.
Ba-da-ba-dee-ba-bee-ba-bo-boo.
Yeah.
Bee-ba-bee-dee-bo.
That was the Hamster Dance.
Yes.
Ba-ba-do-ba-da-ba-do-ba-da-ba-do-ba-da-ba-do-ba-da.
Hampton the Hamster, the Hamster hamster dance song yeah and then they added
lyrics so i don't know the version that has lyrics i just know the i know that because it
repeated like 12 million times in my brain yeah that was it i don't uh i don't I don't know that
I do know it
Sounds like what you're singing is
That one
No, that was, although similar
That was the
They made the
The Venga Bus is coming
That was the Venga Boys, right?
Yes, right, because they had a Venga Bus
Yeah, hamster
For all the Venga Boys For all the different Venga Boys, they had a venga bus yeah hamster for all the venga boys yeah the
venga boys for all the different venga boys they had a venga bus the venga boys was a dutch hero
dance music group in rotterdam oh they were probably high as shit
we like to party we like we like to party We like to party
I remember because they got the six flags
Right the old man that wasn't an old man
That made it creepy
Who could forget
They had the boom boom boom
Right I don't know if that
Was that the same was that Vanga Boys
I want you in my realm
I know that because I looked up Vanga Boys God I hate that Vanga Boys? I want you in my realm. That was Vanga Boys. Really? I know that because I looked up Vanga Boys.
God.
I hate the Vanga Boys, I think.
I think I hate them.
Wow, that was 1998.
Yeah, man.
We are just, we're old now.
That's it.
That's what happens.
When was I'm Blue?
I'm Blue.
That had to have been 99.
That was 98 as well.
All right.
There you go.
I remember because that's like, I was like nine years old.
And that was the first time I felt like I enjoyed music.
Oh, my God.
Does that explain a lot?
The first time I enjoyed music was like, I'm blue.
That says a lot about your musical taste.
I'll be honest.
Oh, my God.
I remember.
I listened to it on Radio Disney.
Along with the Hannah Montana soundtrack, I bet.
Hannah Montana wasn't out yet.
Oh my god, see, it all blends together.
The other day, I was listening to that Dr. Dre Snoop Dogg song, Next Episode.
It was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's my weird, that song.
dog song next episode it's like that song uh i realized that song's from 2001 and i thought it was like 2010 maybe maybe 2010 i was like man if they were still kicking it all those years later
i'm gonna listen to snoop in the 90s and then like 2010 he still it was like 2001 i was like, what? I was like, oh, hell no. I'm so old.
Hannah Montana was 2006.
Get the hell no.
What was on the-
Get the H-E double-ocky sticks right out of here.
What was on Disney in the 90s?
Now I got to look it up.
Boy Meets World.
Boy Meets World was in 1999 on the Disney.
I thought it was on ABC or whatever.
ABC, something by Disney, yeah. I guess, but that's not the Disney I thought it was on ABC or whatever ABC Sounded by Disney yeah
I guess but that's not the Disney channel
I guess it could have been they could have had a Boy Meets World
Song on Radio Disney like
Boy Meets World and that's the show
It has a bunch of people
That you know
I guess
A show called Flash Forward
Don't remember that What was Flash Forward who was called Flash Forward. I don't remember that.
What was Flash Forward?
Who was in Flash Forward?
A young Ben Foster.
What?
A 13-year-old teenager.
He faces a life-altering event.
But I don't understand what it is.
I don't understand what it is.
But, wow.
Flash Forward featured
a young Ben Foster and a
young Jewel... What is the
Jewel State?
Jewel State?
You know, the girl from
Firefly.
You know the girl from Firefly.
Lizzie McGuire
wasn't until 2001. That's why I never watched Lizzie McGuire wasn't until 2001
That's why I never watched Lizzie McGuire
These are shows I never watched
Oh that makes sense cause I was like
Prime age there
Cause I was like 11, 12
This was me just starting college
Oh yeah
This was me just
This was not in my
That's So Raven, never watched That's So Raven
Like I know of these shows
I know they shows so good
I know they exist
but uh
Let's see even Stevens even so I love
Even Stevens was 2000 Shia LaBeouf was never on my radar. I didn't know Shia until he did movies
Huh bug juice. I don't know bug juice bug juice like the really like camp
It's like they go camping.
Summer camp.
My version of camping was Hey Dude.
That was Nickelodeon's show.
Wasn't that Nick's show?
You wouldn't know.
You wouldn't know.
I'm like on the border with some of those shows
that I would know from your generation.
You had more like late 80s, early 90s.
Yeah, Disney Channel wasn't big when i was a kid
nickelodeon i remember uh i was about to go into high school and i got my i was got my braces
like i just get them off or no i just got them on all right my spacers and i was watching bug
juice and i was like man i have to start high school tomorrow and I don't know anyone and this is like
the worst and I was like
this is the next step in my life
and I remember just watching Bug Juice on
Disney we had no Bug Juice
I had all that
oh yeah all that uh Kenan and
Kel yeah I watched Kenan and Kel
Rugrats yeah
Rugrats uh Rocko's Modern
Life yeah love Rockco's Modern Life.
Hey Arnold, Clarissa Explains It All.
Clarissa Explains It All was great.
That show was lovely.
Doug.
Doug was good.
Oh yeah, Doug.
Are You Afraid of the Dark was one of them.
Ren and Stimpy.
See, I feel like I had a better childhood than you, but I'm just, you know.
I watch those shows too.
Real Monsters.
Yeah, but then you had to deal with Hannah Montana
and shit, and that's garbage. I did.
The Adventures of Pete and Pete?
The Adventures of Pete and Pete was a great show?
I remember Pete and Pete. Oh my god,
Pete and Pete was a great show. Salute Your Shorts? That was
my camping show. Oh my god.
You remember the Legends of the Hidden Temple?
Hell yes! The purple
parrots or whatever they were called. The green
barracudas.
The silver snakes., absolutely apparently there's a Star Wars version of the hidden temple out right now on YouTube
I'm not saying we should do reaction videos to it
But what if we did reaction videos to it because apparently it's on YouTube and it is literally ledges the hidden temple
But Star Wars what it's like little kids trying to put lightsabers together and shit.
I am very interested.
I'm trying to remember what else we had.
I didn't watch The Amanda Show because I was never really like...
Also, that was 1999.
I was like...
I watched The Amanda Show.
Animorphs?
I remember watching a few episodes of Animorphs.
You watched Figure It Out?
I don't remember Figure It Out.
I don't think I did.
That was with Summer Sanders and people got slimed.
I watched the original People Got Slimed one.
You Can't Do That on Television.
Was that the name of it?
I don't remember.
Hold on.
You Can't...
Yeah, You Can't Do That on Television was the show.
You Can't Do That on Television was the show. You Can't Do That on Television was...
Why does it say 1979?
That's not right.
1979.
I wasn't even alive.
The final episode air date was 1990.
So yeah, I definitely watched it when I was a kid.
So it existed, but it ended in 1990.
But You Can't Do That on Television was the show where they'd slime each other,
and then they'd open the lockers, and they'd be like,
Hey, Crandor! Yes, Jesse!
And they'd do a joke, and then one of them would get slimed.
It was a terribly dumb show, but I loved it.
Oh my god, I remember on all that,
they brought on Britney Spears' sister, Jamie Lynn Spears,
and she was my celebrity crush for like a year.
I can see that.
See, you were crushing on the sister while I was like,
that Britney.
I bet nothing could possibly go wrong with her.
She's a perfect angel.
She definitely isn't going to be driven crazy by the media and her family.
I remember I liked her
Because I also liked
The one of the
The Olsen twins
The Olsen twins always creep me out
Here's the problem I grew up with the Olsen twins
I grew up with the Olsen twins
When they were like cool dude
They're like kids
I watched them grow and I'm like
I don't like the way
These kids are
Like
I don't know
There's something about them
That was like
I don't like the Olsen twins
I liked them better
When they were one person
They like combine
To make one super Olsen
When they were on Full House
There was only the one kid
And they both played the girl
I was Full House
And so I just
In my mind
I didn't know they were twins until
much later. Then when I found out, I was like,
I don't like that.
That shows our age because Full House was like
87 and 95. I wasn't even alive
for two of those years.
You missed out.
I remember
they made...
What was this?
What's that show they made?
Family Matters with Steve Urkel?
The best show ever?
So little time.
That's what it was.
So this was like 2001 or 2002.
And I remember because I definitely don't know this show.
They were like cool high school girls.
And I was like 10-year-old or 11-year-old Crendor.
And I was like, like wow these girls are awesome
now that was another crush i had never had that thought 11 year old krendor did
i remember i i legit remember thinking i was like talking to jamie lynn spears on aim
it was probably some like 50 year old dude it was like weird uh but i was like talking to Jamie Lynn Spears on aim. It was probably some like 50 year old dude is like weird.
Uh,
but I was like,
what are you admitting to right now that you got catfished by an old man when
you were 11?
I didn't get catfished.
You definitely got catfished.
You're telling me that you actually talked to Jamie Lynn Spears.
I don't know.
At this point,
it could have happened. All I know is they never talked to me again. You're right't know at this point all I know is
they never talked to me again you're right you're right we can't prove that
it wasn't Jamie Lee it's Jamie Lynn Spears you're totally right and I remember being like hey tell
your all that cast that they're pretty cool I said that to them Maybe they took it the wrong way
Oh my god
I'm just saying
All the kids were like
In the Britney Spears
But I was like no this girl is like my age
I like her more
I get it
I don't know
I just had some weird ass celebrity crushes
Thinking back to it
What was your weirdest celebrity crush?
I know what mine is
But I don't think it's weird
I just know that
It's out of all of my celebrity crushes
It's the weirdest
Who?
Mariska Hargitay
What the
The lady from Law and Order Special Victims Unit
I am in love with her
In love with her
That's fine
Take some time to look her up
I know what's going on
I love Mariska Hargitay
Wait alright
So like
When did you develop this crush For Mariska Hargitay?
Years ago
I don't know when it happened
I just know that
I definitely have a thing for Mariska Hargitay
Younger Mariska Hargitay
Older Mariska Hargitay
Does not matter
What year that Hargitay is
I am in love with it
I'm crushing on Mariska Hargitay.
She's 56 years old.
I'm in.
I'm super in.
I would love to date Mariska Hargitay.
I had a crush on Lindsay Lohan.
Like Mean Girls.
I think.
Was that like when her like most popular movie?
Like that?
I think so.
Like after that she started going crazy?
When was Mean Girls?
2004?
Was it The Parent Trap or something like that?
Mean Girls was 2004.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Oh, my God.
These are so old.
It turns out that most of the things we love are like 15, 20 years old.
Oh, cool. That, 20 years old. Oh, cool.
That was 20 years ago.
Man, that's like legit like 20 years ago.
And then if you include this year, this year is like five years.
That's practically like 25 years ago.
I'm very, very aware.
I am very aware of it.
Yeah, Hannah Montana was like, that wasn't really my, that was like when I stopped watching the Disney Channel.
I was like, I'm getting too old for this.
I think everybody has that moment where you're like, yeah, I'm just, I'm getting too old for the Disney Channel.
The plots just start being dumber.
You start being like, I don't get what's going on.
Or like, I don't care about what's going on.
You know what the weird part is?
Is like you look back on all those shows and then you realize that the shows that you liked probably weren't that good.
Oh, no.
I loved that show.
Hey, dude, that show sucks.
It's terrible.
Yeah.
Salute Your Shorts.
The one that was the spooky stories
show that thing sucked
the R.L. Stine one
the Goosebumps is terrible
they're all bad
doesn't matter
as a kid you're like this looks great
yeah cause then
like all the kids I remember the
I don't know the kids after me they would oh, man, do you remember Hannah Montana?
And, like, what was that one with the, the one that had that singer in it?
Ariana Grande.
Oh, I don't know that one.
She was in, like, a show, and then, like, some of the iCarly and shit.
They'd be like, oh, man, you remember those shows?
And I'm like, no, those were bad.
Yeah, no, I don't know those shows
that whole like
Selena and Selena Gomez
and... Oh, the Wizards of Waverly Place?
Yeah, I don't
I didn't watch any of that stuff. I just know they all
came from Disney. Yeah.
It's all part of the Disney
factory. Mega corporation corporate glomerate yeah oh yeah it's all part of the disney uh factory mega corporation corporate
glomerate yeah it's uh i don't know so it's when you go back and watch those shows you realize like
oh when i watched this at the time as a kid it was great but would you have watched like any of
these shows in any year and been like man that was great and then grown up and been like all right
those shows are bad you know's the thing. When I was
in 8th grade, we all watched Power Rangers.
Like the old
school Power Rangers.
And there is no way you can tell me that that's
good content.
There's no way you can tell me that
that was good. We just
were in it. We were in the moment. We loved it.
We thought it was so neat.
Even when we knew it was dumb, we enjoyed how silly it was.
Didn't matter.
We loved it.
We ate that crap up.
Didn't matter.
It was super fun.
That's where Pastel of Pizza came from.
From Power Rangers?
Yeah.
It was from the...
What do you call it?
The two guys that are like the crony guys.
Spulk and Skull or whatever their name was?
Yeah.
Yeah, them.
And then they were like, oh, my God, what are you doing?
He's like, I stole a pizza.
And I only remember that.
That sounds about right.
Because it was on Twitch.
They went back and showed all the old, like, Power episodes and me and gmart watched like two seasons of it
that's great that sounds right pos la pizza
my favorite part is they made bulk and skull over the course of that show it was like
these guys are terrible people and by the the end, they're like, we're the heroes.
It's so weird.
They save a town in the movie.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
They did save the town.
They save the town.
They go from being like the bad guys who get beat up every episode to saving a town.
It's like, okay, sure.
Wasn't that the movie with the Ivan Ooze guy?
Yeah, Ivan Ooze, who, for some reason, is an incredibly compelling character.
He shouldn't be.
He shouldn't be.
The man's name is Ivan Ooze.
But still, I was like, I think I love this.
Yeah. No uh he's
A great villain it was the whole show is
So dumb it it doesn't make any sense
Doesn't matter loved it loved it going
Back I can't watch one episode I'm like
This is terrible oh yeah no the only way
I was watching it was we were just you
Know making fun of it and everything
Sure yeah there's no there's no uh The only way I was watching it was we were just making fun of it and everything. Sure. Yeah.
There's no substitute for hindsight and memory.
That's where the good shows are.
That's where the fun stuff is in your memory.
In my mind.
Can't take away my great childhood memory.
I made up half of them.
Half of them are barely remembering them. That's up half of them. Half of them are half,
like barely remembering them.
That's why I love them.
Like even,
uh,
actually I did go back and watch like some,
Hey Arnold episodes.
They're pretty good.
I still enjoyed.
Hey Arnold.
Yeah.
There's a lot of like,
uh,
some of the cartoons,
if you go back and watch like Animaniacs,
you realize like,
Oh my God,
these are really meant for adults.
Or Rocco's modern life. That stuff we got.
Bunch of stuff in it.
Rocco's Modern Life.
I actually loved Rocco's Modern Life.
I wrote, I like drew comic books
of Rocco's Modern Life.
I liked the Big Heads. They were my
favorite. Yeah, the Big Heads. I love the
Big Heads. Yeah, that's one of the voices
I learned to do earlier. Like, oh, Rocco.
Rocco.
What are you doing, Rocco?
Yeah. Those are great.
I love those. I love those characters.
I just love
Philbert. He's just like, turn the page.
Wash your hands. Turn the
page. Wash your hands.
You did. You did.
You did love that character. I i can tell you saw that character
was like now that's a person i want to emulate or it just that was me and you saw yourself for
the first time on tv you're like oh geez i was also the kid who was very much like that right
so like i remember they were like i remember one time i was like out with my cousins they're just like what if we hit bugs with a baseball bat and i was like i
don't know guys this doesn't seem like a good idea and then i would just stand back and they
would like swing and i remember he like hit him in the back of the leg and he's like and they had
to like go inside no it's like it wasn't a good idea see that was that was i was not i was probably one of the guys involved with
i was always the guy getting hit that doesn't surprise every time i'd be like yeah this sounds
like a great idea and then i just get hit with something when i was younger i let's see i think
i have major brain damage just a heads up just in Just in case anyone is. When I was younger, I jumped off a swing and got a stick stuck in my head.
I – what?
We were all jumping off swings.
I got a stick.
Like it was in a playground and the – instead of gravel, it was like sticks like like wood chips and i jumped and landed
head first and a stick there's a mark on my forehead where the stick got stuck you can look
at it to this day how deep did that stick go i don't know not into my brain it's just like went
into like it like went into my uh skin and like stuck there but i I had like, you know, I was a unicorn for a hot minute.
And then I was playing golf with one of my friends.
I think his name was Jason when we were younger.
And he was like, this is when I lived in Virginia.
So Jason was all like, all right, this is what we're going to do.
I'm going to get my dad's golf club.
We're going to go play golf.
And so I put the tee down and the ball in the tee, and he swung and he hit me in the head.
And I had to get a – I have two marks, one right in the middle of my head from where I jumped into the thing,
and then one on the side of my head. And it looks like a scar kind of.
Is it like a metal bat?
With a literal golf club.
A literal metal golf club.
Hit me with it right in the head.
My parents were so – they tell me to this day they were so concerned I was going to die as a child.
Like I kept – one time my friends and I went and rode our bikes.
And we saw that there was, like, a jump.
And so we went on this jump, and we jumped into a mud pit, like a giant mud pit.
And who knows what was in that mud pit.
Could have been anything.
We could have all died.
But we, like, took our bikes and, like, rode it off a cliff into mud pit.
That is.
Cause.
Just cause.
Just cause.
That. Huh. Yeah. That is Cause just cause Just cause That Huh
Yeah
I uh
It wasn't until later
I was like
Maybe I should
Stop doing this
When I was younger
I was trouble
Although
Admittedly
I'm still kind of trouble
When I was in Hawaii
With my parents
For their anniversary
We went to like
A forest area
And there were some waterfalls.
I was like, come on, guys.
This will be easy.
My parents gave me this look like, are you crazy?
We will die if we go that way.
I'm like, no, no.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Let's go.
You want to see the waterfall, don't you?
Let's come.
Just climb down this cliff with me, and let's walk across these branches, and it'll be fine.
They were like, we can see from up here.
I'm like, all right.
I'd be with them. I crazy not doing that i want to get the picture i thought it'd be a
good picture and they're like no let's we'll take the picture from up here i'm like okay
yeah no i was that was not me yeah i uh i should learn not to do that but i'm like if i'm here i might as well see stuff
normally i don't even get to there right there's there's i have a two-step process do i want to go
to there wherever there is well yes or no most of the time no but if i do end up there i'm gonna do
everything right that's that's that's how i operate oh here's how my brain operates is that thing dangerous yes
all right let's not do it okay i guess there's a risk reward right is that thing dangerous
because sometimes what you see is dangerous other people might not see as dangerous that is true
some people are like yo let's go bungee jumping and like, no, I'm not a big adrenaline junkie.
Right?
Some people are like,
I need to like fly,
I need to ride my bike off a mountain
and like do a flip
and get on the other side.
I need to go bungee jumping.
I'm like, no, I just, you know,
I like painting Warhammer.
You know, I like taking walks.
You know, that's fun.
I do things for the right persuasion
Like if I
If I was like
Really
Let's say I met the perfect woman
For me
Obviously
And she was like hey
If you bungee jump off this thing
I'll take you back to the hotel room and destroy you.
I'd be like, I don't even need a fucking rope.
Let's go right now.
Let's do this.
Let's go.
Let's go.
That's yeah.
If I had the right motivation, I'd do anything.
All right.
As long as it doesn't hurt other people.
I'm not, I definitely have a hard limit of like this.
I'm not going to like, this isn't me saying to people out there like, do you need someone
off?
Cause I'll offer
For you for the right price
No it's not as long as it doesn't affect
Others I will do whatever
I'm fine
Right now I get what you're saying
Thank you thank you
No problem I'm just saying that's not me at all
Right
I was also thinking of PBS shows.
You watch PBS shows?
Yeah, but the PBS shows I watched were like Inspector Poirot and –
What?
You know what else?
The one show that I – the last kid show that I watched on PBS was Zoom.
Oh, my God.
Zoom.
Send it to Zoom.
Yeah, like come on and zoom zoom zoom was youtube before youtube
was youtube yeah zoom was great and they'd be like ask your parent before using scissors and
i'm like haha i can use scissors i'm like i got myself yeah my favorite ones were the ones where
they would like cook they'd like bake something i remember zoom would come on
when i was i i watched it when i was younger but it was still on the air when i was in
college and i remember getting in from a night of drinking wait and like laying in bed and watching
zoom till i fell asleep because there was something something comforting about it because I knew what it was.
And then there would just be a kid trying to bake a...
Zucchini bread or something.
Yeah, like something really dumb that you definitely are not baking.
And they'd be like, yeah, so then you take your apples
and you make them look like this dragon.
And you put peanut butter and raisins on them.
And I was like, yeah.
You're going back to that like childhood
nostalgic comfort of like yeah
things were okay
same thing with late at night when
I'd come home in college
and I'd just like lay in my
dorm room with my already passed out roommate
Jeremy and I would watch
like Ron Pope heal
or late night infomercials
like Slap Shop what's a like Ron Pope Hill or late night infomercials?
Like Slap Shop.
What's a Ron Pope Hill?
Ron Pope Hill, yeah?
Is that his name?
I don't know.
Ron Pope Hill was the guy who'd be like,
set it and forget it.
He had the oven, like rotisserie.
The Ron Pope Hill rotisserie and the infomercial is he'd stick a turkey or some crap
in there and he'd be like, set
it and forget it.
And the whole crowd would be like, forget it.
Oh, that guy.
Yeah. I know him. Okay.
Yeah, I've seen him. Yeah, I'd watch
those infomercials and I'd be always entertained.
Also very drunk, but I'd be like
entertained. Or Billy Mays.
Billy Mays! Yeah.
Billy Mays here!
Yes, absolutely.
I bought Orange Clean or the shit that was when I was like 14, and I was like, I'm going to clean with this.
That's the type of person I was.
That is really sad.
Yeah, a little bit.
I'm going to clean with this.
You got suckered in, man.
OxyClean, that's what it was.
OxyClean, the other day when I was at the grocery store,
they didn't have any laundry.
I say other day like it was yesterday,
but when this COVID stuff started,
the only laundry detergent they had was with OxyClean.
And I was like, all right, I'm getting it.
I don't know what it did, but like, alright,
it worked. It did its thing.
I didn't realize it was still around.
Yeah, it was like tied with OxiClean.
Huh.
I was like, okay, sure, alright.
I watched Mr. Rogers
Sesame Street.
Mr. Rogers was the goat.
Yeah, that's a staple.
Yeah. I remember I watched Barney
I was like kindergarten
I think we watched Barney
I don't know how old I was
But I remember we watched it ironically
But here's the thing
I feel like we were in
6th or 7th grade at the time
I feel like
While we said we watched it ironically,
secretly we loved it.
Oh, yeah, one of those shows.
Right?
Like we'd go to school and be like,
did you guys see Barney yesterday?
But then you'd go home and be like,
I can't wait for Barney.
Right?
I'm going to watch this dumb show.
Man, that show was so fun but so stupid.
Hey, guys.
What a dumb show is I eat my cereal.
What are we going to sing about today, Barney?
I love you.
Oh, man.
Lamb Chop.
Did you watch Lamb Chop?
I watched Lamb Chop.
Lamb Chop is from when I was a kid.
I watched Lamb Chop like crazy.
Yeah, Lamb Chop is great.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God.
I remember going to the library and getting a Lamb Chop VHS tape.
I remember just singing the song that never ends over and
over and over again to annoy people oh yeah is it from lamb chop or did they just put it in line
that's what they would sing at the end huh i didn't know that some people started singing
and not knowing what it was yeah that whole thing i would uh i would sing that until people went
crazy that sounds about right.
Yeah.
It was a lovely song.
The Magic School Bus.
Magic School Bus.
Great show.
Great show.
That teacher.
Oh, my God.
See, maybe I'm going to change my crush to her.
Miss Frizzle.
Oh, yeah.
She could get it.
Oh, my God. I love.
She was like super fun. She wanted to. I love. She was like super fun.
She wanted to explore and experiment.
She was like a sexy redhead.
She was everything I wanted.
She was perfect.
And Arnold's like, oh, God.
That's me, Arnold.
I don't think we should go here, guys.
Shut up, Arnold.
Actually, I probably was Arnold.
That probably was me.
Wishbone.
I remember Wishbone.
Arthur.
Arthur, I remember.
What was Wishbone?
The dog.
Was he the big red dog?
Who was the big red dog?
All right, I remember Clifford.
I don't remember Wishbone.
Wishbone was like an actual dog.
No, don't remember Wishbone.
Let's see.
Oh, my God.
How can you forget Dragon Tales?
Dragon Tales?
I hated Dragon Tales.
Dragon Tales.
I hated Dragon Tales.
So the other year, Gmart was here, and we were like, you want to watch Dragon Tales?
You should have said no.
You should have been like, no, I'm good.
No, we had, this was a mutual decision of like, yeah, let's check out Dragon Tales.
I was like, dude, I remember I was like 11 or 12 years old.
I love Dragon Tales.
And then we watched it and I was like, dude, that kind of sucked.
There was an episode where like they were talking about how it's okay to make mistakes
and they'd be like, I need you to get the blueberries,
and they'd get red berries, and he'd be like, that's okay.
Mistakes are okay.
And then I was like, dude, sometimes mistakes aren't okay, though.
If you're a doctor and you make a mistake, that's not good.
I will simply say that while you were watching that garbage,
I was watching the far superior Gullah Gullah Island.
That was the shit.
Gullah Gullah Island was the show.
Yeah, I love that.
Let's play
together.
It was the frog guy.
Gullah Gullah Island.
Yes, and it was a little frog.
For some reason, this normal family
and their giant
frog friend, you know, their giant tadpole named Poliwog or whatever his name was.
You're just like, this doesn't seem weird to you?
They're like, no, on Gullah Gullah Island, everyone is welcome.
You're like, all right.
Hell yes.
Okay, then.
Yeah.
I'm not saying Gullah Gullah Island made me the person I am today, but I
Love Gullah Gullah Island. Oh
My god, I remember you remember Liberty kids. I guess you'd be too. I do remember Liberty kids
Oh, what year did Liberty kids come out to that?
Liberty kids 2002 yeah
How do I know that show then I?
Mean you love history see mean you love history so you probably do love history i remember i'd watch it how do i know that show i don't know yeah i guess i guess i must have like
it must have been on pbs right yeah pbs i remember because i watched before school one year was it
just a year that show taught me more about 40 episodes though 40 episodes oh my
god yeah they're like friends with all the like ben franklin all those people there's like
yeah i don't know how i would have known about this show i i clearly haven't seen every episode
but i know that i've watched it before all right huh i don't know The things you do when it's like a Saturday in college.
I was like, I'm going to watch this show.
That's, uh, no, it makes sense. You're like a history guy.
And then they'd like, you know, they'd like teach you history stuff.
So I'd be like, wow, I learned more about history today from Liberty's kids than I did going to school.
The series spans 16 years.
Technically, Liberty's kids were like Liberty's adults by the end?
How does that work?
Oh yeah, didn't they?
The show spans from 16 years from the
Boston Tea Party in 1773
to the ratification of the U.S. Constitution
in 1789. Although it says
no main characters appear to age much.
Wait,
except for Dr. Franklin?
Wait, they gotta do Ben wrong like that?
Man, that sucks.
Ben Franklin ages and everyone gets to stay the same.
Everyone else stays the same, but Ben is like,
Oh, shit, the ravages of time.
Liberty's kids, vampires.
Liberty's vampires.
Liberty's vampires.
Whoa.
Sylvester's, alright, celebrity voices. Walter Cronkite was Ben Franklin. Liberty's Vampires Whoa Celebrity Voices
Walter Cronkite
Was Ben Franklin
Sylvester Stallone was Paul Revere
What?
Ben Stiller was Thomas Jefferson
Billy Crystal was John Adams
Annette Bening was Abigail
Dustin Hoffman was Benedict Arnold
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Was Baron Von Stupid.
What?
Liam Neeson was John Paul Jones.
Whoopi Goldberg was Deborah Sampson.
What the hell?
What was this?
What was this show?
This show might have been the best damn show ever produced.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I don't know how many, or there's that many famous people in this.
I mean, you know what?
There are 40 episodes. I mean, I don't think how many, or there's that many famous people in this. I mean, you know what? There are 40 episodes.
I mean, I don't think anyone watched 40 episodes.
Yeah, I don't think I did.
What the?
The theme song was produced by, the theme song, through my own eyes, was Aaron Carter.
Oh, yeah.
Aaron Carter.
Oh, my God.
American rapper.
I love his wiki page.
American rapper, singer, songwriter actor dancer record
producer didn't he uh go to jail he did a lot of things legal troubles is one of the first thing
that pops up when you look at aaron carter uh 2008 2017 and 2019. Aaron Carter.
His annual legal troubles.
And then you scroll down far enough and it says controversies.
Oh, yeah.
He made Aaron's party.
Hold on.
Update.
Update.
Okay.
In March 2020, Carter set up an OnlyFans account, which is popular in the adult entertainment industry.
Carter began charging $1, $100 per nude photo.
Oh no.
Wait, what?
Aaron Carter is so desperate, they had OnlyFans?
Oh
no, Aaron. Here's the
thing.
I don't so much care that Aaron
Carter made an OnlyFans account to charge people
to see his dong. What I
do care about
is we went here from
Liberty's Kids.
That is true.
We went here from Liberty's Kids
and I was like, what's Aaron Carter up to?
It's like, he showed his dick
on the internet.
What do you know?
Oh my god, Aaron Carter dated
Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, and some other person I haven't heard of.
Everyone, there was a time period in the early 2000s where everyone was like, man, that Aaron
Carter.
I wish I could be like him.
Not me, but a lot of people tried.
Yeah.
And now it's quite the opposite.
Yeah.
It's quite the opposite Yeah I uh
Well you know
You gotta do what you gotta do
Yeah
Alright well that certainly was
Was an adventure that we took
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I got the one with dice
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All right, Crandor.
Let's go jump in the sky.
I don't even know what I just said.
In the sky.
Hey.
How's it going?
Hey! How's it going?
That may have been one of the weirdest transitions from the normal segment I've ever seen.
Even I'm thrown off at this point.
There's cars, there's boats, there's automobiles, there's traffic, there's helicopters, there's airplanes.
I was trying to turn that into a rhyme, and it did not rhyme whatsoever.
And now I'm just kind of stuck here.
Back to you.
Thanks, Crandor.
Now let's go over to Crandor at the Weather Desk.
How's that weather?
Weather time, weather time.
Let's all go weather time. Weather time.
According to weather.com, only a thin slice of the U.S. to have typical July temperatures.
It's going to be hotter than usual for most places.
It's actually going to be colder down south in southern Louisiana, parts of Texas, that area.
Can I tell you something?
I'm going to put this out right now.
If you're listening, you made it this far in the episode,
and you're like, it's going to be so hot this week.
Still wear a mask, damn it.
Yes.
I don't care how hot it is there.
I live in L.A.
I have a beard and glasses, and I'm fat, and I still wear a mask.
You can do it, too.
It doesn't matter.
Wear it for everyone but yourself. That's the whole point. My state, you I still wear a mask You can do it too It doesn't matter Wear it for everyone but yourself
That's the whole point
My state you have to wear a mask
Well not even that like people who are like purposefully ignorant
Ah yes
Like that's like ignorance get out of here
There's no excuse
Yeah speaking of ignorance
Let's go to ignorance
Ig
Yes I know there's not an ignorance location so what is it
gonna be ignal share france i am willing to bet that is not how that's that's pronounced Sheriff Franks. Let's do a WAPI.
WAPI animated.
Ignore Sheriff Franks.
60 degrees.
Fahrenheit.
Showers in the vicinity.
70% chance of rain through 4 a.m.
Tonight.
High 71.
Low 52.
Humidity 96%.
Pressure 30.01.
Visibility 4 miles. wind six miles per hour dew point 59 degrees uv index zero moon moon moon phase waxing gibbous daily forecast 71 degrees. Rain. Tuesday. 77 degrees. Wednesday.
80 degrees. Waxing gibbous.
Thursday.
72 degrees.
30% chance.
Rain.
Friday.
74 degrees.
Waxing gibbous.
Waxing gibbous.
Waxing gibbous sounds like a great Dungeons and Dragons character name.
Like a bard.
It's me, Waxing Gibbous.
Waxing Gibbous.
I'm here to sing a song for you, my lord.
Yeah.
That's the weather.
All right, let's go to sports.
Sports.
Big news story today is that the New England Patriots have signed Cam Newton to a one-year deal.
I heard that.
Does that matter all, though?
I mean, he'll probably be their quarterback.
Yeah, but, like, is that good for them?
They're probably not going to win.
No.
So it gives them an opportunity to play and whatever.
So, I mean, it's better than whatever else they had.
I mean, you're right, I guess.
Yeah.
And then baseball is supposed to be starting up in like a couple weeks or something.
And everything else is still going,
even though it looks like some players have been testing positive with the coronavirus.
I don't know. It's weird because the coronavirus and I don't know.
It's weird because it's like I don't know how they're going to do it.
It doesn't seem like it can be done safely. It could be done in a way where people could do it safely.
Yes, bring everything back that you can.
But every time we try to bring something back to normal, everything just gets worse.
I don't know, man. It's going to happen though to normal, everything just gets worse. Oh no, man.
It's gonna, it's gonna happen though.
We're gonna see how it's gonna go.
Will they pump in fake crowd noise?
They have said they will pump in fake crowd noise.
But a lot of people are like, I'd rather just have it not have any crowd noise.
I'd honestly rather just have there be like no crowd noise.
And just hear like the gym sounds like basketball here like the
Like the shoe squeaks and like like all the players yelling and stuff then you can see like mic up the players
Let's get wild. Yeah, do it like the XFL. Yeah, screw it. Just Mike players up and
See what happens. Yeah, Mike the players up tell them it's uh, it's just like XFL rules. No censors.
You're allowed to swear.
It's the post-apocalypse now.
We're in COVID.
You can swear up and down the field.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah.
And that's sports.
All right, Crandall.
What is our big news story of the day?
Big news story of the day.
Someone sent this to me, and it's a couple years old but
yeah all right i'm just gonna read it so the two like it's there's a lot of reasons i shouldn't
but i'm just gonna read it so back in 2017 the talumni county sheriff department said do you
know this man 25 year old wanted man robert Robert Kendale Smith ran from a residence on Allison Way Tuesday afternoon
when the high-risk probation team was serving a warrant for Brighton Branstad Curry.
While fleeing, Smith threw a backpack at probation officer Mora,
which contained over 23 grams of heroin and hypodermic needles.
The high-risk probation team was at the home Tuesday afternoon to contact Branstad Curry,
who was on pre-trial ankle monitor for pending charges.
He let his ankle monitor battery die, which is a violation of the monitoring program.
25-year-old Brighton Branstad Curry was arrested on two warrants for vehicle theft,
drug paraphernalia, carrying a concealed dirk or dagger,
long possession of methamphetamine, and hypodermic needles.
37-year-old Dean Muncy Jr. is also at the home and arrested.
Two warrants for grand theft, failing to appear and delaying justice after being found,
hiding in the mobile home and refusing to come out.
What the hell is this story? What?
Just wait.
Robert Kendale Smith, a.k.a aka Kirby, is wanted for possession of heroin
for sale, possession of drug paraphernalia,
resisting arrest, evading violation of probation,
several vehicle code violations. He is
5'2", 130 with brown hair, green eyes.
So, they posted it on Facebook.
And everyone's just like,
alright, whatever. And then,
if you scroll into
the Facebook
comments, Kirby Smith himself replied.
Hello, Tulumni County and Tulumni County Sheriff's team.
Can you, the letter you, please run a check on that black tar?
Because I am pretty sure it's melted coffee beans.
because I am pretty sure it's melted coffee beans.
And they were not for sale and never threw no backpack.
And how come you got to leave out the part where I jumped off the roof that was like 30 feet and grabbed a tree branch and swung to freedom,
just saying no disrespect.
Kirby got them.
They said, Kirby, turn yourself in and take care of your outstanding warrants so you do not have more added on um and i you know i was wondering where
the store was going and now i now i definitely know this is amazing yeah and uh i don't know if kirby turned himself in but here
here's the actual message so you can read can you read that oh my god you were right that is
very hard to read yeah it looks kind of like he was texting it to him yeah it definitely looks
like it was either that or very quickly typed out. Also, I take it the black tar, it means heroin.
Yes, definitely black tar heroin.
Although he's saying it was melted coffee beans, which is like,
I don't think I've ever seen melted coffee beans.
Yeah, I don't think I have either.
Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen a melted coffee bean.
Can you melt coffee beans?
Do you think melted coffee beans is another name for black tar heroin?
Is that like a thing that's...
I don't...
I'm a melted coffee bean.
I don't know.
Melted coffee beans.
I'm looking them up right now.
There's chocolate-covered espresso beans.
Yeah, I see that.
But I don't see actual
I see like crushed beans
Because that's just coffee
I don't think you can melt a coffee bean
I don't think there's a melting point
Of coffee beans
You can burn them
They can catch on fire
But I don't think that's melted coffee beans
I don't think that's how that works
Also the ending part of this,
I jumped off the roof that was like 30 feet and grabbed the tree branch
and swung to freedom. I mean, that's the best
part. What's great about it is
he says, he's like, how come you gotta leave out the part where I
jumped off the roof that was like 30 feet, grabbed onto a tree branch, swung to freedom?
Just saying, comma, no disrespect.
You know, no disrespect, but you guys left out the best part of the story.
Here's the thing.
I get Kirby.
I get Kirby Smith.
I get him.
He did all that work to escape the police, and they left out the coolest part. Here's the thing. I get Kirby. I get Kirby Smith. I get him.
He did all that work to escape the police, and they left out the coolest part.
Yeah.
It does look like he did get arrested.
Oh, yes.
No, Kirby definitely got arrested.
Yeah.
They traced his IP like a dummy, and they got his ass.
He just needed more branches to swing to freedom with. if he just had he's like spider-man if he doesn't have a branch he's running he's got he's
got nothing to swing to this picture like constantly jumping off of buildings the tree branches like
from building the building holding his melted coffee beans yeah but if he's out in the countryside
he's got nothing.
And then somewhere, there's somebody that's like,
man, if only I had some melted coffee beans.
And then he shows up with a bag and just throws it at him and swings away.
And they're like, wow, that really was the Kirby Smith.
Unless he means melted chocolate coffee beans.
That's the only thing I can think of because melted coffee beans does not make sense.
You have to ground it, then put it in something that could melt.
I don't think that's what he's talking about.
It's definitely heroin.
He is definitely 100% talking about heroin.
Yeah.
No, he definitely is.
Well, now we learned something today, that's for sure.
We sure did.
All right, Crandor.
Let's go and do whatever it is we do.
We'll get out of here.
Hit us with the socials.
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Instagram.com. YouTube.com. All right, that's it for us. We will see you all next time with another episode.
And as always always to be continued