Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 249 - Wendy's Has Phat Beatz
Episode Date: August 3, 2020The boys are back and this week we've got it all! Burger raps! Carver protocol! And the return of caterpillars! It's time for another exciting Cox n' Crendor! Get an additional 3 months for free with... promo code COX at http://babbel.com Check out http://hawthorne.co and use promo code COX10 to get 10% off your first purchase!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Today's episode is brought to you by Babbel.
If you're trying to learn a new language, there is only one smart way to do so.
And that is the Babbel way.
We'll talk about that later.
Also today we're brought to you by Hawthorne.
Smelling good is not just for other people.
Do it for yourself too.
Love the way you smell, you stinky, stinky boy.
Okay. Okay.
Yep.
All right, let's do this podcast.
Hello, everybody.
It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.
Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.
In 4-hour recording studio. Recording. Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Cacks and Crendor in the morning!
Hello there.
Hello there.
Hello. Hello Robo Crendor.or hey there how's it going uh it's going all right i am like
a little over today was a tiring day today sundays are quickly becoming days where i spend the entire
day just like why did i say i do so much on Sundays? So.
Why did you do that?
I figured because I knew I would be at home.
So at least I know that I'd be able to like, yeah, all right.
I guess I'll be at the computer.
So, okay.
Hmm.
There's your mistake.
Oh, I'm aware.
Oh, I'm aware.
I know.
When do you wake up today?
9 a.m.
That's way too early.
Yep.
Just to give you an example, I woke up, did a morning stream,
then recorded a Chiluminati episode, then made dinner,
and then fell asleep. Not dinner, lunch. And then, although it may be episode, then made dinner and then fellas,
not dinner lunch.
And then,
although it may be dinner,
I don't know.
And then like passed out a little bit on the,
I like,
I sat on the couch,
went to go watch TV,
fell asleep.
I'm going to say two seconds into it.
We woke back up and was like,
Oh,
I guess probably should go record with Crandor now.
Wait,
when did you go to bed?
Midnight,
maybe.
So you still like slept a long time yeah it's just here's the problem my couch upstairs is like a dangerous dangerous couch that couch will knock you out i every time i sit on it i start to fall
asleep every time every time and i don't know if that means that i'm now an old man and i like the old men
who always fall asleep when they're sitting in the i don't know what that means it might be but
every time i'm anywhere else i'm fine if i get on that couch oh my god i don't know if that couch
is filled with like sleep dust or something but no matter where i sit i will if i start watching
a tv show i couldn't tell you how that show ended because I will always fall asleep every time.
That is a great couch.
Every time.
It's a great-ass couch.
It's a great couch.
It knocks me out.
As somebody who's slept on that couch, it's a great couch.
It will, every time, I'll wake up with, like, my hand crammed under my butt or, like, my shoulder in a weird, because i never plan to go to sleep right so i
like i guess what i'm what i'm saying there i'm like oh i'm cold i guess i should put my arms
inside my shirt and then i'll wake up two hours later with my arms inside my shirt and i'm like
what the hell what was i thinking you could be like hey i got this like super cool guest room
with this awesome bed in it.
I'd be like, nah, I'm taking the couch.
You and I both know I would never have a super cool guest room.
That's why you can easily say that.
If I had a super cool guest room, I'd just put the couch in there.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
But I could never get a guest room.
I have too much stuff.
I'm trying to downsize.
That's the dream.
Oh, my God.
Speaking of dreams, this isn't actually a dream.
But it kind of pie
okay so I've been writing that I've been trying to write down nostalgic memories
okay yeah so like are these that you are actively having or memories that you are
trying to recall a little both it's kind of like you know how when you have a dream and you write it down yeah I'm trying to recall? A little of both. It's kind of like, you know how when you have a dream
and you write it down?
Yeah.
I'm trying to do that,
but for nostalgic memories.
So maybe like, for example,
there was one day I was walking down the street
and the light was just hitting everything
this weird way
and it triggered something in my brain
that was just like,
oh my God,
I remember like these plants
and I was like,
I'm like 12 years old
and like Colorado and so did you did you in my mind this is like those scenes
where someone gets abducted by aliens and then they they see a thing and it
triggers a flashback of the abduction okay what what about you what are what
about Colorado what What happened?
So I was trying to figure this out because I'm like, what do you mean? But then I realized
Wait, you don't know what you mean?
Well, that's why I was like, why am I getting this memory?
I didn't realize, so I wrote it down
Then, okay
I was trying to figure it out
and then I realized I had like great cousins
like, not my actual cousins
but like second cousins or something
I don't know know and we were at
like uh it was like my my mom's aunt's house when i was like 12 or something so it's like my great
aunt i have no idea what that is and like the family tree thing uh and i remember her like
nephews and nieces were there and they were from colorado and they were talking about runescape
and they're like do you play runescape and i was like no runescape is for nerds i play world of warcraft well i think
i don't think wow was out of town i think i played like emu online so it's even more obscure uh and
then i remember that was the only thing i had of colorado but that memory was kind of there so i
was like it must have been tied into that so I think I just pieced together Colorado and maybe like
driving there that day had weird lighting
and I just kind of you know
Lego pieced it together
in my brain or something
maybe maybe that's why you didn't have a full
memory because I think so
listening to you discuss it I was like how
would you not remember having gone
to Colorado that is some alien
abduction shit like how would you when I'm the one realizing I don't know why I'm realizing that.
No, I agree.
It does sound crazy.
You're right.
And there's another one where I would always like these plants, like the weird kind of
dried desert plants, and they're kind of like cat tails in a way.
Sure.
And I was like, why do I like these plants so much but then
I realized it's because when I was little I was biking with my grandpa and
I remember driving through one area and like we biked by all these plants that
looked like that and they just look cool and I get just stuck in my head so I
start that's what I've been doing I've been writing down these memories being
like where's this come from and then I figure it out and it's like I solved a
mystery so I've been trying to solve all these nostalgic
mysteries essentially. Your memory
is a wild thing.
You're telling me.
I love that you have fractional
memories. Like you remember
for some reason
when you
get a trigger of a memory
it doesn't pull all the
pieces. Like the way a memory works is imagine if
your brain had strings hanging out of it and each string was tied to a trigger, like a scent.
So you pull on that scent and what it does is as you pull down, you see that that one string
is tied to 20 other strings and those unlock the memory, right?
And so maybe it is a sound
that you pull on. Or maybe it
is a place you pull on. And as you
pull, the strings
pull the other bits with it.
But for you, for some reason,
you're like, yeah, so
I pulled the string and what I got
was a note that said
you've been to Colorado, maybe.
And then you had to solve your own brain mystery.
Well, it wasn't like been to Colorado.
It was just Colorado.
So I was like, why am I thinking of Colorado?
And then I realized it's because of that.
That's even more mysterious.
You pulled down one of those strings,
and instead of it pulling down all of the senses,
it pulled down just like the name Colorado. That's very funny i that's crazy to me so it's like uh but i also have the ability to
kind of go back to different members so like oh okay so like if you wanted to go back in time to
like say you're at your friend's house when you're like 13 like what here's what i was doing so like
i remember playing warhammer
with my friends so i was like oh yeah i'm gonna go back to that moment so i went back and i was
like what was his house like and then i remembered like being outside his house and in my brain i
kind of walked into his house and i was like what would i see and i was like oh yeah that's what he
had in his house and i essentially did like a virtual tour of his house from back then in my
brain and as i did that i could like get different memories
popping up because i'd be like oh yeah and there was this pantry and i was like oh my god i know
i remember when me and him locked his little brother in the pantry and he was like get me out
and we were like woo and then his mom was like what are you kids doing so like all those memories
started flooding back just from like doing my own virtual tour of his house that poor boy scarred
he can't go get food. If food is
in a closet of some sort, he cannot go
get it.
He does a lot of drugs now.
Well, you did that. I guarantee.
It's possible.
Do you do that?
Do you ever go back to
even your own house? I'll go back to
houses I used to live in and go through
it and try to trigger memories.
Oh, you mean mentally go back?
You don't break in?
No.
Mentally go back.
Yeah.
Definitely when I think about my old house in Ohio, for example,
I have memories of different things that occurred in different places.
And good memories and also weird memories.
Like, I remember that the downstairs bathroom for some reason.
The upstairs bathroom was the shower that my mom and dad would always use.
And they gave me the downstairs bathroom to use.
But the problem was the downstairs bathroom, because it was right next.
It was, like, I don't know how to describe this.
I hated it because it always had bugs in it.
Oh, yeah. It was like there was a window that was hated it because it always had bugs in it. Oh, yeah.
It was like there was a window that was open, but it was open into the backyard.
And that's how you vented the bathroom is you would open that window.
But the window, like, bugs would just come in and be like, what up, Jesse?
I'm like, I'm trying to shower, bug.
They'd be like, I don't care.
I'm in the shower with you now.
I'm like, this is gross, bug.
Yeah.
Maybe that's where I have, like, a disgust of bugs. I'm like, this is gross, bug. Yeah. Maybe that's where I have a disgust of bugs.
I'm like, bugs got to go.
Even in apartments, I always try to rent the highest place in the apartment that I can afford.
But I always try to get the highest place up so I'm not ground level so bugs won't just walk into my apartment.
See, look at that.
We just did some therapy right there from nostalgic memory walkbacks.
Yeah, but I know that, though.
I know that about me. I know who I am.
I know that like
bugs always disgust me.
I'm like, no thank you.
Although some bugs I let do their
thing. Like if I see a spider, I don't freak out. I'm like,
yo spider, kill the bugs for me.
And he's like, I got you Jesse. And then he goes
off and does it. Yeah, whenever we get like bugs
or like spiders in the house, I'm like, dude, these spiders
are going to kill the other bugs.
And they do.
We had ants and
then the ants were
gone once the
spiders came.
Yeah, I got no
problem with it.
I see a spider
everyone's unless I
see a spider and it's
like one time I was
in the bathroom and
the spider kept like
trying to come up to
my leg and I was
like, don't do it
spider.
Don't do this.
I do not want to
have to throw you
down the toilet.
And he kept doing
it.
I was like, fine.
So I grabbed some
tissue and I threw
him down the toilet. I was like, you brought this was like, fine. So I grabbed some tissue and I threw him down the toilet.
I was like, you brought this on yourself, spider.
You would have just left me alone.
Usually if they're crazy spiders,
try to catch them and put them back outside or something.
Otherwise, cat's going to find them.
He's going to kill them anyway.
I guess, yeah. I guess having a cat
is also...
I know for a fact having a dog is anti-spider city.
Oh, yeah. No, cattle kill
flies. Like, a fly is going around, he'll like
whack it out of the air.
It's great.
Anti-fly machine.
Every time... It doesn't do this anymore,
but at some point, there were like
flies just like
in the hallway outside my door.
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
You know, because it's outdoors right there are flies out
there and they would just like hang out outside they wouldn't come in they're just like be if i
open the door they would just all be out there like what up and i'm like what the hell that was
a few apartments ago but it drove me crazy yeah i remember that that was like seven or eight years
ago yeah that was a while ago but i i'll never i I think I know for a fact that if I get sick later in life, it is because one day I got a big can of Raid and sprayed all of it outside my door.
I sprayed the whole thing outside my door, down gutters, on the walls.
I am convinced that if I get sick later in life
it is because of that.
Because I like aerosol
the shit out of myself and everything
else. I was like I don't even care
it's time to go. I was so fed up.
Is that also the one
where it had the crazy birds? The ones that
sounded like they were calling your name and laughed like the
Joker? Yeah those were crazy. I didn't realize birds. The ones that sounded like they were calling your name and laughed like the Joker?
Yeah, those were crazy.
I didn't realize birds could be like that.
Yeah, the ones that if you opened the window, the birds would say shit like,
Hey, Jesse!
Like, it sounded like they were talking to you?
Yes.
Yeah, they were like,
They were like, They were like,
Freaking out.
Then they'd fight each other.
Yeah.
I was told by the complex that it was actually them having sex.
Which is even funnier.
Because the noises were like...
I like how they even had their like, we've looked into it and done extensive research.
I feel like they had to them.
They're just banging.
The windows at night when you kept them open, it sounded like the Joker was outside fighting Batman.
It was crazy
I almost missed the birds because I have to keep my blinds closed because if I open my blinds
they're just another apartment looking at me and I'm like oh hey that's picture you open it up and
they're just staring right at you like finally he's opened it up again everyone in our everyone
like keeps their blinds closed so if anyone has their blinds open it's like a weird thing everyone's
like who's in there what kind of weirdo is that because everyone has their blinds closed. So if anyone has their blinds open, it's like a weird thing. Everyone's like, who's in there? What kind of weirdo is that?
Because everyone has their blinds closed because no one wants to even admit that they can see anyone else.
Huh.
Yeah.
It's pretty sad.
That's crazy Los Angelians.
Los Angelinos?
Los Angelinos.
Yeah. I don't know why it's not Los Angelinos. Los Angelinos? Los Angelinos. Yeah.
I don't know why it's not Los Angelinians.
What was this?
Yeah, I've been doing that with nostalgic memories.
Oh, yeah, that's where we were.
Yeah.
I've also been playing chess.
That's been fun.
Normal chess or 5D chess?
Normal chess, but I have had people be like, you should play 5D chess.
I mean, good luck.
I hate that it's like it's the future and the past as well.
I'm like, no, I'm out.
That sounds great for me.
I'm ready.
They're like, the moves you make in the future also were made in the past.
And this checkmate is through the past, present, and future.
And I'm like, nope.
Nope.
You can't do it.
You know how to play normal chess?
Yeah, of course.
I mean, I didn't take you for one to be like, oh, yeah, I know how to play chess.
What do you mean?
I've said on this podcast that I used to play Mr. Piamonte in chess every day after school
when I taught.
I remember the name Piamonte, but I don't remember chess.
What did you think we were playing?
Like Parcheesi?
I don't know.
Or like Chutes and Ladders?
We played like Checkers or whatever.
No, we played chess, and I'd always think I would beat him, and then he'd destroy me.
Dude, we need to play chess.
Sure.
I love playing chess.
me. Dude, we need to play chess. Sure. I love
playing chess. The biggest problem that I
have is that everyone wants me to play
the newfangled chess
and so it's like, yes, this is actually
three-dimensional, five-
directional, omni-
sentient chess. I'm like, what does that mean?
They're like, well, the pieces will fight you.
I'm like, what?
Every turn you make, the pieces will move back
one half turn.
Why does that exist?
Or the 5G where everyone...
It's three chess boards.
As you play, new chess boards are created.
And they all link.
You can get a checkmate between chess boards.
I'm like, I hate that.
It's already too confusing.
All I do, chess.com, basic chess, easy.
Easy.
I mean, it's, yeah, it depends on how you intend to play.
Like, if you're going to play and you're going to try and do, like, moves and, you know,
or you could just play chaotically And just do whatever floats your boat
Well I mean
I play standard chess
I don't know
Right but I'm saying do you have a plan when you go into chess
Do you have an opener
Now I do
Now you do
Incredible
Yeah because here's the thing
I got into chess
Well I grew up because my dad taught me chess
So he would be like My dad used to go to chess clubs Because here's the thing. I got into chess. Well, I grew up because my dad taught me chess.
So he would be like, here's how the pieces move.
Yeah.
Because my dad used to go to chess clubs and stuff.
And he would take me.
And I didn't know anything.
So I'd just watch people play chess.
And then he'd be like, there's free cookies.
And I'd be like, whoa, cookies.
So I'd eat those.
And then I learned how the pieces move and everything. But he'd always win when we'd play.
Because, you know, I'm like, I move Rook this way, bruh.
And then, after a while, I'd, like, play him in chess, but I kind of understood what was happening, but then, like, Twitch ended up becoming crazy with chess.
Everyone started playing chess, so then Hafu started playing chess, so I started watching Hafu play chess, and she was getting coached by people, and I was like, dude, what the shit?
So I started watching Hafu play chess and she was getting coached by people and I was like dude what the shit So then I started playing more chess and now I actually know how to do things
Yeah I guess I'm curious what you know we definitely need to play
Because there's like as I learned from Mr. Piamonte getting my butt destroyed every single day
There's like levels to how much you know right
Like with everything everyone like the more you know the less you know. Right? Like with everything. Everyone, like the more you know,
the less you know. That kind of thing.
Yeah. A lot of it's just like pattern
recognitions too. Like you play one thing, they're like,
oh, he's doing the Sicilian defense.
It's like, oh, okay.
Oh, absolutely. But also it's
then, alright, now I need to
pre-plan how to defeat that.
Yeah. I look at it like kind of like an
RTS game. Like, people try to do the
four-move queen win, where they like, they bring out
the queen and the bishop, and then they checkmate you
in like four moves with the queen. But now,
I've learned how to counter that, and it reminded me of
StarCraft, where I would always do that
to people with Zerg, and be like, hey, hey, here
comes my six pool, or whatever the shit it was, and I would
just rush them down, and if that failed, I'm like,
well, I lose, and then just quit.
There's a lot of those, especially in online things where everyone tries to be flashy.
There's a lot of those five, six move things that people try to do.
And one thing I've learned is that if you really want to mess with people,
have no, just do things that don't make sense like play chaotically and it'll drive them nuts
because they won't be able to tell if you're an amateur or if you're like a mad genius and they'll
they'll go crazy yeah oh my god i played against one dude so you can like you have your little
avatar and it like shows the country you're from and i played against one old man from england and you could tell he just took a picture of himself and put it as avatar
his name was just like uh wallace something but he beat me and i was like you know what
i am honored to lose to an old british man at chess
it's not where i expected that story to go.
I thought it had a point.
It did.
I was honored to lose to an old British man.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were going to talk about strategy or something.
You're like, no, I played an old British man,
and he beat me.
I'm like, oh, okay.
I'm also three and though against the French.
Here's the thing.
Three and oh.
Chess isn't really a French game. There's the French defense.'s the thing. Chess isn't really a French game.
There's the French defense.
You're right.
The Maginot line? Yeah.
There's like
so many things. There's so many openings.
So many things. There's Sicilian.
There's French, Italian.
There's like...
That's the whole point.
You have to sun-sue the whole thing. It's a fascinating game. There's a reason that it's like you have to Sun Tzu the whole thing
It's a fascinating game
And there's a reason why it's been around so long
And why it's like the game of kings
Yeah
It's like one of the oldest games
Isn't it?
Yeah, I think maybe Go
Is the oldest, but Chess is up there
Yeah
Go is a type of game that I know exists but i've no i've never
played don't think i have any desire to because i feel like i'm not cool enough to be that like
you know the white guy who knows how to play go i think it's like uh i've played i've gotten down
my like one opening and i know some other stuff but i've like hit the point where i'm like this
is about all I need to know
that's what I'm saying yeah once I progress
towards like to a certain point I'm like
I'm not gonna be able to keep up with these people
yeah yeah I uh I
hit that I feel like that a lot in
video games too sometimes where like I learn
just enough of the meta to be able to play
but I simply don't care enough
to
train and get better like look I can play with you but I simply don't care enough to train and get better.
I'm like, look, I can play with you, but I'm not like,
you're going to have to carry me.
I've done League of Legends.
I was like, I know I'm a plat player,
and I grinded months to get to plat,
and by the end of it, I finally hit plat,
and then I was like, I did it.
I never have to play again, and I haven't.
Actually, no, I've played three times, and I hate it every time, and then I was like, oh, thank God I hit plat and then I was like I did it I never have to play again and I haven't actually no I've played three times and I hate it every time and then I was like oh thank god I hit plat already
I don't care and then I stopped you made something of yourself you really did it I did it you really
did it mister it's a great moment in history yeah and then I also have been watching Kitchen Nightmares again.
Great show.
It's a show that I think if you've never seen it, well, you know, it's both wonderful and sad at the same time.
Yes. And also like kind of real, kind of fake.
Like there's a lot to it.
It's great.
Well, I've been watching the like british
ones like the season one uk version which is the best ones sure well he's not like you donkey
yeah well he is but like he's got like a little more personality and he actually shows that he
like cares and he gives him like some positive feedback and he's not constantly being like
while the american one and they don't have all the dumb music
like the meow
like all that
it's just a more
it's just a nicer experience then you go to the
American one and they're like
they have the narrator
who's just like Chef Ramsay
enters into the old country
buffet looking for
somebody to talk to
I would love to see the success rate
Between the US and the UK shows
Yes
Because we've looked up the US success rate
And it's like
I think out of all the seasons
Only two restaurants are still open
And that was before COVID
Yeah
So I want to know what
I wonder what his
Yeah, what the UK version did Yeah, I don't know what I wonder what his Yeah what the UK version did
Yeah I don't know
I'm curious too
I know the like first episode ever
That place like got bought and sold three times
And then it became a place that was actually
Like pretty good
Apparently for like ten years
There's um
The place that was
There's one Jamaican episode
Where he like goes to the UK
And he meets like a Jamaican family
Oh yeah Mama Cherie
Yeah that's a super fun episode
He's so nice in that one
Cause I watched it and Mama Cherie has a YouTube channel
Get out of town
What is Mama Cherie's YouTube channel
I'm pretty sure it's just Mama Cherie
I don't know how to spell that
Mama Cherie
C-H-E-R-R r i yeah i see it i wonder yeah day
in the life of mama sherry oh mama sherry looks like she's down the boardwalk dude go all right
everybody want to go to her videos sort by most popular and watch her gordon ramsay's kitchen
nightmares my experience it is an amazing video. Amazing video. She talks about being on Kitchen Nightmares, working with Gordon Ramsay.
And it's like, it's one of the best videos.
Mama Cherie gives her husband a haircut.
Oh, my God.
Her husband, is he an old British man?
He is just an old British man.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I love him.
They look like they would not go together at all.
But I'm pretty sure they've
been married like 30 years or something i look at his little goober oh my god he's so he looks like
every old british man you could possibly imagine oh my god even the way he like looks at the camera
he has that british sort of like snarky like I can't believe I'm letting my wife give me a haircut.
He does.
Unreal.
He kind of looks like he would do some crazy magic tricks or something.
I love his voice, too.
Oh, it's old, for all sake.
Oh, Mama Cherie, you are great.
Oh, my God.
Yeah. No, watch her great. Oh, my God. Yeah.
Watch her talk about the Gordon Ramsay experience.
Then watch all her other videos because they're also great.
But that one's very great.
Well, that just brightened my whole day.
I'm glad I found out she exists because I keep thinking about that episode.
Because it's one of the few times I've seen Gordon love the food, compliment the chef, and then be nice to them for an entire hour.
Yeah.
And I was like, what a great episode.
It's great. And then
she's still uploading on her YouTube
and she's got like a Patreon and everything.
Amazing.
Amazing. Oh my god, I forgot
to...
Uh oh. Did I show you
the old country buffet training video? I got the... Uh oh. Did I show you... Oh no.
The...
Yeah?
Old Country Buffet Training video.
No!
Oh my god.
This...
Alright.
So I'm gonna show you this video.
Oh no. Oh no.
Alright.
Alright, so...
You don't have to watch the whole thing.
Just kind of skim through.
When was this made?
This has 800... My favorite part is this has 800,000 views
and the description just says
description.
That's it.
I guess this guy made the video?
I don't know. A couple of facts for everyone. I guess this guy made the video?
I don't know.
A couple of facts for everyone.
Whelan600 posted this video.
Four weeks ago, he edited this.
Wow.
Four weeks?
But it was originally posted in 2016.
All right, here we go.
Yeah.
The video was done.
The video shoot was done after the store closed for the day from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. So they shot everything at night, which is hilarious.
All the people were paid to be in it.
When I'm talking to the manager, I'm talking about the weather.
I guess there's like a scene where he's talking in the background.
Oh, that is him.
This one surprises everybody.
It was too late for any children to be there, so I had to talk to the floor.
Then the little girl came in the next day
And they did a shoot with the little girl that day
I was not there
The girls were all line servers that worked there
It was all scripted
So I did not have a choice of what to say
So I do not like the lasagna
I do not like the hot fudge sundaes
You'll get it when you hear it
I really don't like red sauce
And don't like chocolate sauce and don't like chocolate.
White chocolate I do like.
The manager called me five years later when they were going to transform the country buffet to a golden corral.
He wanted me to be the meat grilled chief carver.
I declined.
I was too busy with my life.
It was fun to work there.
His daughter is 15 years old.
His mom was a line server.
This is actually a true story.
A lot of other employees I still keep in contact with.
Thank you for the comments.
This is crazy.
Okay.
All right.
So the video is four by three.
Looks like it was recorded in the mid-90s maybe.
Oh, this is definitely early 90s.
Let's do this.
Your other shift duties. We's do this your other shift duties
We'll begin with your second shift duty greeting and serving guests the music
Yeah
Your second shift duty if your carver is greeting and serving guests
You can tell this was a 90s buffet because it looks like people actually cared
oh yeah without a doubt good evening fight enough to eat today boy i'll say well that's great would
you care for hammer beef a little both i think all right making friendly conversations like this
is a big part of greeting and serving gas making friendly conversations like this
oh my god keep watching it gets better all right that other buffet style
oh my god guests often feel they're on their own all right once they've paid for the meal
no one pays much attention to them
every conversation you hold with guests should begin something like this. Good evening. Or, hi, how are you?
It's so crazy to me that every conversation you should have
should begin with, good evening, or hello, how are you?
It's going to begin somewhere else.
It's a conversation.
What up, bitch? Welcome to the buffet.
Like, what? That's never happening.
Don't forget to hold quick conversations with our younger guests, too.
Children often play a big part in deciding which restaurant their parents visit.
We want them to feel welcome and special here, too.
So start conversations with children by saying something like this.
What grade are you in at school?
Or this.
Have you decided what dessert you're going to have?
Or this. Do you like what dessert you're gonna have? Or this.
Do you like hot fudge sundaes?
One minute of deep conversation.
It's time to move on to the second half of this shift, Judy.
Oh my god!
That one is so good!
What grade are you in in school?
That is the creepiest shit!
What grade are you in in school?
What are you doing here on a Sunday?
Are your parents around?
Do you like hot fudge Sundays?
Like, how creepy is that shit?
Who wrote that at the old country buffet to be like, this is how you interact with children.
They are little humans.
I like the lasagna.
It's my favorite.
Oh, that's what I keep saying to everyone.
I'm just like, try the lasagna, it's my favorite
I love that he had to write
In his, now it all makes sense
I love that he had to write like, I do not like lasagna
I do not like hot fudge sundaes
Who would even get lasagna
At the old country buffet
You know what, someone did at some point
Sounds awful
Wait a minute
This video keeps using the same clips over and over again to demonstrate different things.
Oh yeah.
Greeting the guests and serving the guests is the exact same footage of the same girl approaching the same time every time.
Well they gotta reuse everything.
If a guest asks you...
I'd like a half-inch slice of that roast beef please.
Say something like this... I'd be glad to carve you that.
Thinner slices are more tender, though.
Would that be all right?
I'd like a half inch slice of that roast beef, please.
And then his response is, well, are you sure you don't want a thinner cut?
Because it's more tender.
All right.
That sounds dirty to me.
She's like, can I get a half inch?
She's like, I sure don't want a thinner cut because it's more tender.
What?
She's just like, can I get a half inch of roast beef, please?
These were all definitely actually employees.
There's no enunciation.
She isn't speaking up.
She's like, can I get a half inch of roast She's like, It's like green cheetah levels almost.
If a guest asks you,
Say something like this.
I'd be glad to carve you that.
Thinner slices are more tender, though.
Would that be all right?
And then she even smiles.
She even does that thing where she's like,
Okay.
It's a little flirty smile.
That was – do you think that's his wife?
Do you think they got together at the end?
I hope so.
I hope that's what happened.
They look like they'd go well together.
What's weird is that during the footage, as the VO's talking, he hands her the food,
and then they continue to talk for, like, another five minutes.
Oh, yeah.
He hands her the food, and they keep keep talking and it's like wait a minute
that she would leave i would leave i was like i got nothing else to say to you man
yeah no it's uh i don't get why he just keeps talking i guess that's like what they tell him
to do like you gotta keep having conversation is this the only thing i thought for sure we'd
see like how to be a server well, this is specifically for carving. I see that yeah, I wish I had the server version I
Want to know more about that girl who was like
I hope she's in the rest of it. I hope the rest of the video
She's like there and she's, you know, around.
That'd be nice.
I started watching the other old training videos.
Like, they had a Pizza Hut one.
It's pretty much like Dodger training to work at Pizza Hut.
All right.
You got to see the Wendy's.
Wendy's training video.
There it is.
Now it's just popping up.
Wendy's Grill Skills.
Grill Skills.
Yes.
This one's a classic.
Wendy's International.
Dave Thomas.
Yay.
Hi.
I'm Wendy's founder, Dave Thomas.
From the day I opened the first Wendy's,
my goal has been to serve the best hamburger in the business,
a Wendy's old-fashioned hamburger.
So did I tell you that I, for a while when I taught in Ohio, lived
in Dublin, which is Dave Thomas'
like, this is where the first Wendy's was.
So right near my apartment was the very first
Wendy's, and they always had, like,
test things. So they would
always have food at Wendy's that you
would never find anywhere else. It was great.
That is pretty cool. It was so much
fun, but it always reminded me
that I was like, I'm Dave Thomas.
We all was fresh, never frozen.
My favorite story is that Colonel Sanders was the one who told Dave Thomas to go make a business.
Oh, I think I heard that.
Yeah, I guess Dave used to work for Colonel Sanders.
And Colonel Sanders was like, my boy, you guys should go make a business for yourself.
So Dave Thomas was like, all right, Colonel Sanders, I'm going to go make a business.
Just go to, okay, in the Wendy's, go to 525.
That's all you need to see.
I'm going.
I'm going.
Yes. I'm going Yes Don't wait too long, I emphasize, or the meat won't reach the proper size. When things start to sizzle, you're ready to go.
Gently turn the meat, but don't be slow.
Just turn them over easily.
We don't want a broken patty, that's a guarantee.
Press out the corners, one, two, three, four.
Rock it a bit, are you keeping score?
Top and bottom, left and right.
And you'll get a patty that's out of sight.
I can't believe there's a wrap.
I can't believe there's a wrap. I can't believe there's a rap.
Amazing.
The hamburger patties are shrinking.
I have no words right now.
Animated hamburgers are singing to this guy.
And he just wiped his eyes because I think he's high right now.
Oh, no, Dev.
He is high as shit.
Stage one, I'm raw.
You just laid me down.
I'm stage two and I'm getting ground.
You turn me and press me just one time. But there's two more stages before I'm fine. I'm raw, you just laid me down. I'm stage two and I'm getting ground. You turn me and press me just one time,
but there's two more stages before I'm fine.
I'm stage three, you press me twice,
just one more stage before I'm nice.
Stage four, I'm hot, I should be done,
looking good like I should so you can serve me, son.
I'm stage five and I'm still alive,
but serve me soon and don't be slow.
I've only got one minute to go.
The projection game is simple you see it's just common sense that's the way it ought to be when you know a lot of people will be coming around
don't hesitate start laying them down when things slack off do the same or you'll be wasting meat
and that would be a shame i krendor i have to stop this video you'll be wasting meat and that's just
a shame i don't know how to i don't just a shame. I don't know how to respond.
I don't know how to respond to any of that.
That is a top-quality video.
It is certainly a something, all right.
Well, if we're going to shamelessly plug things,
we might as well do it for ourselves.
That's a truther.
Today, we're brought to you by
hawthorne hawthorne is the company out there trying to make you smell your best it's the
website that allows you to discover what scent is right for you you take a quiz you answer some
questions you find out where you stand on the old scent-o-meter that's not what they have at all
they use actual scientific algorithms to find out what is the right smell for you
i know that every time i get a new scent from them it is great smelling and always something
i'm like i would wear this and i do. In fact, I am wearing some right now.
I'm wearing some of that new summer scent.
Why?
Because even though I'm indoors, I still like to smell good.
I can't help it.
What if, what if a lonely, mysterious woman shows up at my door?
That works at Old Country Buffet.
Yeah, and she's like, I lost my job at the Old Country Buffet,
and wolves are chasing me
Can I stay here the night
I'm like sure you can sleep on my couch
It's extra comfortable
And she'll be like thank you Jesse
I'm like thank you stranger
And she'll come in and she'll be like you smell so good
Also did I mention I'm secretly a millionaire
And I'll be like what
She's like I've always depended on the kindness of strangers
And then we smooch the end
That's what I'm counting on.
Yep.
Anyway, it is one of those things where it makes, especially these days, getting a scent right for you so much easier.
I mean, you're not really going out that much anymore to hunt for a cologne.
And come on
You're too old to have your parents buy you some like where something you'll enjoy
That's the whole point and Hawthorne does that for you? That's the idea is you take a two-minute quiz?
Super quick. It's actually very fun because it kind of like you know isn't it isn't an overly complicated quiz
It's like yo, are you a beer wine person like that kind of thing?
It isn't an overly complicated quiz.
It's like, yo, are you a beer or wine person?
Like that kind of thing.
Then it'll tell you what two colognes are best for you.
One for work, one for play.
And then you have two colognes.
And one is like, this is my day time.
I'm all business.
And then you have one that's like, let's get ready to rumble.
It's like your night time.
I don't know why I said rumble.
When you're out in the wrestling ring.
And the best part is totally risk free
with free shipping, free returns
it is great and you can try it
right now, just go to the website
go to hawthorne.co
take all the quizzes, do all the things
learn about what you like
you can get deodorant, shampoo, body wash
face cleanser, lotions, all sorts of stuff there.
It isn't just cologne.
And when you check out, use promo code COX10 to get 10% off your first purchase.
That's Hawthorne, H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E dot C-O.
Code COX10 at checkout.
If it's your first purchase, you get 10% off.
It's that simple
Go there right now
Check it out
If only to take the quiz
And see what your scent would be
It's fascinating to look at
When I saw the scent I was like
That is exactly what I would want to smell like
So go check it out
Hawthorne.co
Code COX10 Also today we're brought to you by Babbel Right now I would want to smell like. So go check it out. Hawthorne.co code Cox10.
Also today we're brought to you by Babbel.
Right now.
I've said this before.
I'm going to say it again.
People keep asking me,
Jesse, what should I do if I'm stuck at home?
If I have all this BS in regards to, you know,
like I can't go look for a job.
This sucks.
What do I do?
Take the time right now to learn another language it always looks good
on a resume plus another language is a good life skill right it is the thing that will help you
and and one day when we're all allowed to travel again wouldn't it be great to go to a country of
the language you just learned and speak it there and you know get along in that society well and and relatively easy that
be such a life experience and be well deserved after all of us being stuck inside learning a
language is something that uh you know i i did at one point in time and never kept up with all right i i learned spanish and now i just speak spanglish right i
wish i had and babble is the way to sort of bring that back if you were like me if you took french
in eighth grade or whatever it can help unlock that again for you or if you have seen something
like man i always want to go to japan but you don't know any japanese maybe this is your gateway
to be able to do that, right?
Babbel makes it so that you do it in the same way that you would if you lived in the country
and you learned to speak it over time,
except this is done within a few weeks.
Babbel designs their courses
with real-world conversation in mind,
letting you learn everyday practical conversations
that you will actually use.
The daily lessons are 10 to 15 minutes.
Start by teaching you words and phrases, then sentences, and then it gradually becomes more complex.
And soon, you're doing short conversations.
Lessons are thoughtfully created by over 100 language experts.
And their teaching method has been significantly proven to be effective across multiple studies
because it uses real world, like how you would do it if you were in a place it's brilliant they even have speech recognition
technology to help you improve your pronunciation and accent uh a great example is umbrella academy
2 just came out recently and there are swedish guys in it and one of the americans speaks swedish
and everyone from sweden was like giving them crap because like that's not how they sound
that's not i couldn't understand that person like that.
Right.
And they're like,
they were speaking Swedish incorrectly.
Uh,
this will help you not do that with Babbel.
You can choose from 14 different languages,
including French,
Spanish,
Italian,
German,
and Babbel is available as an app or online and can be synced between the two.
So you can be on your computer or go to your phone and you'll be right where you left off.
Right now, when you purchase a three-month subscription, Babbel will give you, our listeners, three additional months for free.
That's six months.
You will be adept at a language by then.
You get that with promo code
COX. That's three additional months
free if you go
to Babbel.com, use promo
code COX on your three month subscription.
That's B-A-B-B-E-L
dot com, promo
code COX.
That's you.
Alright, Crandor, let's go to chapter 7.
How's that?
Cox.
That's you.
All right, Crandor.
Let's go to chapter 7.
Scott the Crandor.
How's that?
Crandor.
Now, today, the chapter captor, I am holding a jar.
And in this jar is the weather.
Boo.
You get it?
It's the David Lynch weather.
I'm aware. It's a great aware great thing great thing i love it um i mainly wanted to do that so i didn't have to you know
do the traffic i thought you would save it for weather i thought for sure that was being saved
for weather that's where you gotta throw it off everybody's expecting it during the weather but
i bring it up during the traffic back to you all right crendor let's go to the weather desk how's that
weather welcome to the weather desk
how's it going I mean it's going great I
thought David Lynch would show up here I
wish imagine if we had like David Lynch
to our weather that would be I'd be so honored if every week we just
Said hey David Lynch do our weather
Do a weather report
If David Lynch would take not a lot of money
I'd pay him
To do it
I'd be so honored if he was just like
Today I have a jar
And the weather is
And you're like, why did he say that?
I love showing that video to people who don't get David Lynch.
And they're like, what does that mean?
What was in the jar?
And I'm like, that, I think, is the point, y'all.
That is the point.
What is in that jar?
Yeah.
Why do you paint it that way?
Yeah.
I'm so excited that one day I'm going to figure it out.
Yeah. Maybe'm so excited that one day I'm going to figure it out. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe.
Well, speaking of jars, let's go to jar.
Jar.
Jardim Helena District, Sao Paulo, Brazil.
All right, let's go to Brazil.
Brazil.
Brazil.
Jardim, Helena District, Sao Paulo, Brazil weather.
58 degrees.
Fahrenheit.
Fair.
10% chance of rain.
Today's forecast.
You've got...
58 degrees.
Feels like 58 degrees.
Did you have to switch it to Fahrenheit?
Oh, yeah.
I was wondering.
Today's weather is...
Conversion was happening there.
Humidity, 84%.
Pretty high.
So you got rain.
Yeah, you got some rain going on there.
Not surprising over in South America. I'm pretty sure you get a you got rain. Yeah, you got some rain going on there. Not surprising over in South America.
I'm pretty sure they get a lot of rain.
Is that like a South America rain roast?
I'm pretty sure they get a lot of rain.
Not surprising for the rainforest.
Got them.
That's what I'm saying.
They got the rainforest.
Obviously they get a lot of rain.
South America get a lot of rain. Does South America get a lot of rain?
I just clarified.
Heavy rainfall, well distributed throughout the year,
averages about 100 inches annually in Brazil,
110 in Peru, 70 in Manaus.
In the Amazon regions, rains do not fall evenly over the basin.
Yeah.
The rainy season in
Brazil um when is that I guess it would be probably May right oh my god yeah so
like I looked up let's see how much rain is Illinois get 48 inches on average
they get a hundred and they get 110 in brazil yeah but how much rain does korea get
because i know exbc when i watch them they get a lot of rain uh let's see country generally no
rain really does the rain about 40 inches oh all right how much rain does florida get here we go
All right, how much rain does Florida get here we go
Florida gets about 54 inches all right how much rain does London get
23 inches
What the dingus
Yeah, Brazil blows my way
Yeah, I don't know why London Why everyone in the UK is like
It always rains here
When it doesn't sound like that's a lot
Yeah I think it's just gloomy there
A lot of times it just gets gloomy but it doesn't rain
Sure
Brazil I think the reason why it rains so much there
Is it has to do with like
The mountains right
You're asking the wrong person wait isn't it
the andes the andes and then something i don't know you're asking the wrong person okay i'm just
gonna keep repeating it until you figure that i feel like it has to be the reverse of la right
la doesn't get a lot of rain because the mountains surround la yeah and. And so I imagine Brazil is like the reverse.
We're like, it gets all the rain, and then the mountains are like, uh-oh, you're not coming on this side of South America.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm totally off.
I don't know how it all works.
LA gets about 14 inches of rain a year.
So it's the lowest one yet.
And when it rains, it rains for eight days straight and then never rains again.
Precipitation episodes in Los Angeles, with a few notable exceptions,
are largely caused by extra-tropical disturbances approaching California
from the west or northwest during the winter season.
Yeah.
So I guess that's it.
Yeah, we don't get a lot of actual rain rain.
In fact, when it does rain, it's crazy.
The first day it rains, the streets, you can see all the oil and stuff on the streets.
And every street looks glistening.
You're like, ah, that's right.
We don't have regular water on our streets.
I don't know.
I don't like that.
I like the changing seasons.
I miss seasons.
I miss seasons, but I also like the ability to just
go outside whenever I want and not have
to put on a coat.
That's real nice.
It's very nice to just go do that.
You really don't need a coat unless it drops
below like 45.
I haven't experienced that.
That's why in that one
video with you, I'm like dying.
Because when we were like in the snow and people were like, is Jesse okay?
I'm like, no, I wasn't.
I was freezing.
Oh, yeah.
I had my winter coat and I forgot about that.
It was freezing cold.
People were like, seems like Jesse's dying.
I'm like, I literally had my boogers freezing in my nose
i was like no thank you i'm not a fan of this
so anyway tomorrow 74 degrees fahrenheit tuesday 75 wednesday 76 thursday 76, Friday 77, Saturday 77, Sunday 73, Monday 75, Tuesday 78,
Wednesday 80, Thursday 81,
Friday 82, Saturday 81,
Sunday 81. The funny part is
no rain on any of these days.
So that's...
But it's... Here's the thing.
There's no rain, but there's high humidity.
It's probably just sticky. Yuck. No high humidity. It's probably just sticky.
Yuck.
No, thank you.
It's just very sticky.
I'm not a fan of the humidity.
I prefer the dry heat.
I like being in the sun or something.
Yeah, I'm a big dry heat fan, unless it's Vegas.
When you're in Vegas, when I went for Evo in the past, now I don't know if that's ever happened again.
When I went for Evo in the past, now I don't know if that's ever happened again.
When I went to Evo, it was like middle of summer, 110 degrees.
It wasn't like an oppressive heat, but if you went outside, your body was like,
this isn't natural.
And your skin would start to dry immediately.
It's like an actual desert though yeah yeah um so yeah that's uh that's the weather all right let's go to sports sports
uh sports are all happening again nba uh baseball hockey Baseball's had some COVID things happen.
Yes, that's true.
Not as fun there, but NHL and basketball got their little bubbles they've made,
so they're safer than baseball.
And, yeah, sports are going.
I don't understand how that's possible.
I guess because maybe baseball teams and companies have more people involved.
Yeah, I guess so.
But it also seems like they play outside.
Should be the easiest people to keep safe.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Well, apparently some of them are going off and partying and things like that.
Look, I believe that.
I just today read about Jake Paul throwing mansion parties, and his city is getting mad at him because about, like, Jake Paul throwing mansion parties,
and his city is, like, getting mad at him because he won't.
He's like, look, bro.
In the article, they interviewed him, and he's like, look,
just because there's a virus going around doesn't mean I'm going to stop living my life.
It's like, you may stop living your life permanently, Jake.
You dummy.
I mean, listen, it's Jake Paul.
Yeah, and the best part is the image they used for the article
It said
One of Jake Paul's many parties
And it literally is an image of three girls
Hanging from a crane
And like a bunch of people
Standing around watching them
And I have no idea what's going on in the image
It looks like a human sacrifice
It's the craziest thing I've ever seen
It's three girls like hanging from a bulldozer or some crane,
and then everyone's standing around looking up at them.
And I'm like, is that what happens at cool people parties?
Because that's weird.
Huh.
Well, that's sports.
Yep.
All right, Crandor, what is our big news story of the day uh big news story of the day man finds caterpillars in supermarket broccoli and
raises them as his own what that's what i'm saying i don't like this i hate this story already
most people would be bugged to find a caterpillar
In their supermarket broccoli
But not Sam Darlastin
Instead the British media personality
Decided to raise it to maturity
And six others he found among the broccoli
What the hell is going on
With broccoli
Every person I know overseas
Has like horror stories
About finding weird bugs In their fruits and vegetables.
Meanwhile, in the States, if you do, it's a rare occurrence.
We spray them down with chemicals.
I guess you're right.
I guess we're slowly killing ourselves.
They have bugs.
Here's the thing.
I don't know.
I feel like I'm fine not seeing bugs on my food.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm fine not seeing bugs on my food.
Yeah.
Our last was shocked at first.
That feeling soon turned to joy when he realized he had a new pet to enjoy during lockdown in his London home.
I did my research initially and discovered the exact type of caterpillar butterfly we were dealing with.
A cabbage white.
I then decided to build him a little home in my lounge with all the broccoli he wanted. He gave the new
companion the name of Cedric.
It's very cute.
It's very cute.
Pesco refunded him
the $1.37
for the cost of the broccoli.
He used it to purchase more vegetables
and unexpectedly got more
caterpillar. That is
so gross. How do you get more caterpillars?
I don't know.
That is so gross.
What do you mean?
He bought more and there were more caterpillars?
Yeah.
I hate to break it to you,
but I feel like Tesco,
their shit is spoiled.
It sounds like it.
He said,
I got broccoli I got as a replacement contained five more. That sounds like it. He said, broccoli I got as a replacement
contained five more.
That's so gross.
Then a third broccoli
had another one.
So he's got seven caterpillars.
I don't even know how you would...
I would never buy broccoli again.
I would never eat broccoli.
You couldn't get me to put it in my mouth.
I'd be like,
there's caterpillars in it.
Never would. I love broccoli. This couldn't get me to put it in my mouth. I'd be like, there's caterpillars in it. Never would.
I love broccoli.
This story alone is making me be like, what if I never eat broccoli again?
Broccoli harms my IBS fight too much.
Y'all watch out there.
Well, you know, maybe if you mix in some worm guts or whatever the hell, caterpillar guts, you'll be fine.
That's possible. Yeah. He says, I'm a firm believer in, you'd be fine. That's possible.
He says, I'm a firm believer in
not harming any animals or insects if possible.
He named the other
members of his buggy brood
Brock, Ollie,
Carlos, Croc, Janine,
and Slim Eric.
Hey, that's me.
Well, not anymore, Slim Eric.
Along the way, he has faced challenges,
especially when they started evolving toward their mature state.
Biggest challenge I faced whilst raising the caterpillars
was their love of escaping,
especially when they are about to cocoon.
One day, we found one on an ornamental vanilla stick,
one under a table,
and one under a candle holder cocooning.
Wowee.
So what do they do with them?
Do they de-cocoon them?
I don't know how it works.
I don't know.
Or do they just let them do their thing and they were like,
now you're about to fly, go!
And then
they got bigger,
they got a cocooning stage,
a bunch of photos, and then they got bigger. They got a cocooning stage. A bunch of photos.
And then they became butterflies.
And now there's like a picture of the butterflies on his hand.
And he said, thanks, Tesco.
I guess I would be like, Tesco, wash your damn fruits and vegetables.
The hell?
Yeah.
So gross.
Check your broccoli.
Yeah, I'm going to check everything now.
I'm warped now because of this story.
Yeah, that shit's great.
They're like, it's so cute.
I'm like, there were multiple bugs on his fruits and vegetables.
Yeah, no, that's no thank you.
Yeah.
All right. Well, that horrifying story
that was supposed to be cute
ended my appetite,
but that's it.
It also ended this podcast.
Thank you so much for listening.
However, you are enjoying this.
Crendor, hit them with the socials.
We've got so many socials.
We've got youtube.com
slash coxandcrendorpodcast
where you can listen to all these podcasts. We've got youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast where you can listen to all these podcasts. We've got
YouTube.com
slash Cox and Crandor where you can see
all the animations. There's a new one up right
now. There's also
all the other places you can listen to.
iTunes, Spotify, SoundCloud.
It's all over. Just search Cox and Crandor.
Also,
check out our own stuff. There's
YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox, YouTube.com slash Crandor, Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox, Twitter.com slash jessicox youtube.com slash creditor
twitter.com slash jessicox
twitter.com slash creditor
twitch.tv slash jessicox
facebook.com slash jessicox
instagram.com slash notoriouscox
instagram.com slash creditor was taken
That's it for us
We'll see y'all next time
And as always
I want some hot chocolate.