Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 262 - The Sweetest Episode Yet

Episode Date: November 9, 2020

Our 8th Anniversary quickly approaches, so of course we're going to listen to Crendor's story about his repair guy that never shows up. Also we travel to to Iceland and get totally lost. But the good news is, the news this week is extra sweet. All this and so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Visit http://joinhoney.com/COX to get Honey for FREE today! Go to http://hellotushy.com/cox to get 10% off!

Today's episode is brought to you by Honey. Honey, if you're trying to save money on the internet, Honey is the way to do it. Also today we're brought to you by Hello Tushy. Do you have a butt? Does it have a hole? Then this is a product for you. We'll talk about all that in a hot sec. Now let's jump into this podcast.

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Let me see Trendog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Hit me! Wake your ass up! It's Cops and Crendog in the morning!

Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me! Cops and Crendog in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome to a new episode of Cops and Crendor in the morning! It's Grendor in the morning! Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Guts and Grendor in the morning! Yeah! What? It sounded like you were getting electrocuted, kind of. But then you like worked your way through it. That's kind of just how the world works.

I hear that, yeah. You just get, everything's a little shocking and you just work your way through it that's kind of just how the world works i hear that yeah you're just getting everything's a little shocking and you just work your way through it yeah yeah how how profound of you it's uh it's shocking when you realize that we've almost been doing this podcast for eight years is that true is that how long i forced you into servitude? It's, uh, I was just checking here, and I was, I know it's always around November when we started doing this, and I remember because we did Saints Row

and then we made our first Saints Row episode. We were like, why do we even need to play a game? Yeah, it was Mega Podcast. That was all the rage back then. Right, right. Podcasts were all the rage. It has not improved since. In fact, podcasts, even since then, just gotten worse.

Yes. Well, here it is. It's November 19th, 2012. So we still got a week or so. Yeah, we have time. Yeah, next Thursday. Not this Thursday, but the Thursday after will be our eighth anniversary. Where are our gifts?

Why is no one sending us anniversary gifts? Yeah. Where are they? Where are our anniversary gifts? What do you get for the eighth anniversary? I don't remember. We did that one podcast like two years ago about, it was like the metal anniversary, the wood anniversary.

Whoa. I don't know. I don't know what is going on, but I typed in, you know, I'm not going to judge people. I'm not going to judge. The first two images, maybe this image search is based on what I like I don't know what it is But I typed in 8th anniversary gift

And the first image is I'm going to describe it to people But I'm going to send it to you The first image is This naked woman in a snake necklace Oh I just typed it in and got that too. That's what I'm saying. This naked woman in a snake necklace,

which is, I don't know why she's naked, when on the same page, on the same page, three pictures down, she's clothed again. Yeah. It's her in clothes, and then there's three pictures of her just bare-ass naked, and I don't know why.

I don't know why that's the way it is. I don't know either. Were they like, dude, we hit top of the search rankings. Can you do the same thing? But like, just covering your boobs. All right, great. Now, I'm just going to say, what if you're a lady who has, you know, larger boobs? Right.

This necklace is unusable for you this necklace would like stick out and just you like point people with it i'm not saying it just doesn't make a list necklace doesn't make a lot of sense it doesn't seem like a very good necklace well if you click on her name there's actually she has like a billion different necklace things this is her? It's her. Maria Yonceva is actually the person who makes them and the model? Yeah. She's from Bulgaria. Why is all of her jewelry snake-based?

I don't know, but she's got five stars across the board. I'm starting to think that she might be a witch. All of her necklaces are basically things that you would see witches in the witcher wear that's pretty much everything she's wearing but you know what the more i scroll down the more i'm like i don't know what fantasy universe this woman's from but i love it yeah i mean it looks very unique uh you know what that's generous i scrolled scrolled down to the bottom of page one. There's one called Body Necklace. Statement Necklace. That is, I don't know.

I don't know who that's for. Maybe she's just telling you what it is. Body Necklace. I don't know. That's like if you combined a bib and a tie. That's art. It is something, all right. A bib and a tie. That's just casual business. Oh, this is this woman's Etsy store. It is something, all right.

I'm bibbing a tie. That's just casual business. Oh, this is this woman's Etsy store. Oh, girl, get it. I thought this was just some weird, like. No, those are Etsy. That's what I'm saying. She's got five stars. This is the most professional Etsy shop.

I honestly thought it was a real shop. I thought it was a real store. I was about to bring down some diamond jeweler exchange because that's what the logo looks like. Let's not pretend. The logo looks like you're going to Jared or something like that. I mean, Etsy's got some pretty legit

stuff. It's been around a while. They've made it to the point where it's very official now. I can't believe... I'd rather buy from Etsy some Etsy store than, I mean, they've made it to the point where, like, it's very official now. I can't believe. I'd rather buy from Etsy, some, like, Etsy store than, I don't know, Jared. Yeah, but now I'm totally confused because I didn't know Etsy was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we can, nudes are fine. Now I'm just kidding. You know what?

Before I was like, oh, this is just some website for fancy jewelry. But now that I know that it's Etsy, I'm like, wait, what? Well, here's the thing. I'm pretty sure there's a honey coupon code out there. There probably is. There probably is. You got to love it. And then the next thing on this list was this, which is a bronze hand throwing up the horns.

That's more, I think, along our line. I love you, bronze finished table sculpture. Nothing about that says I love you. It is literally a dude throwing up the horns. The eight-year anniversary gift is bronze and pottery. The seventh for last year was wool and copper. Well, we don't want that. No, no, no.

Wool and copper, that's garbage. That's garbage town. Yeah. Bronze, though. They had a whole age based off of this nonsense. Yeah, bronze. So if you want to send us your bronze gifts, we will accept them. Like, you know when people bronze their baby booties?

You don't need that. Send it to us. We will melt it down and make something cool with it. Oh, my God. Anyway, speaking of, well, not really speaking of anything we were talking about. I was just going to. Oh, yeah. All right. Yeah. well not really speaking of anything we were talking about i'm just gonna oh yeah all right yeah um do you remember when i brought up bill the plumber um maybe so let me i'll refresh your memory so back uh maybe like a year or two ago bill the plumber was gonna come over fix a dishwasher some shit and he's like i'll be there

at uh like 10 30 a.m i'm like all right i normally don't get up till uh you know one but i'll wake up you know whatever get up 10 30 back then no bill the plumber hour goes by no bill the plumber text him hey bill you coming no response get to 12 30 and bill the plumber calls me on the phone and says hey uh i took uh i was feeling bad took some of that NyQuil. I just passed out. Just woke up now. And I could be there now or like reschedule. I was like, all right.

So that was my first experience with Bill the Plumber. Wait, did he come there now or did he reschedule? That was a few years ago. I don't remember. Something happened. He fixed the dishwasher, though. So, I mean, he did what he had to do. So now you're like, well, I obviously want to use Bill the Plumber again.

Right. Right. Right. Okay. It's called Bill the Plumber. Wait, how do you know? Is Bill the Plumber? Do you find him on the Yellow Pages?

Or how did you find Bill the Plumber? Bill the Plumber is just like the landlord picked him out. likes the plumber i don't give a shit i don't have to pay for anything so i really don't care understood like listen you know if you wanna like listen as long as the thing gets fixed i don't care except for now because okay so now bill the plumber uh he's like hey i'll be there and uh i think he's gonna get here like one all right so i'm like all right you know a better time one rolls around no bill the plumber text him he's like ah geez uh things going way too long to get today let's make it like the tuesday or wed Wednesday I'm like all right rolls around Bill the plumber not here I'm like hey Bill where you at and he's like ah there's another

thing going on I gotta have to make it like a the over the weekend they'll be good so I'm like all right and he's like I'll just text you so uh Friday rolls around there's a faucet so it's like a drip our faucet was dripping. Gotcha. So all I had to do was like put a new one in or whatever. Apparently it takes like 40 minutes. All right. Seems pretty easy.

So wait around. Nothing. And I'm like, all right. So then I text him over the weekend like, hey, you know what? You can stop by Saturday. No response. I'm like, hey, actually, you know what? Sunday I had plans, but now they're canceled.

No response. Monday rolls around. Bill texts. Hey, sorry, I was kind of busy, but how's Tuesday? 1.30 work. I say, great. Sounds good. 1.30 rolls around.

How? It's no Bill the Plumber. So I text the landlord and I say, hey. Why do you put up with this? I would have learned to do it. I would have gone to Home Depot and asked a man and been like, look, I don't know what I'm doing. Can you help me? And then come back home and just done it myself.

Then I said, Bill, does Thursday work? And he said, tentatively, yes. And I said, all right.? And he said, tentatively, yes. And I said, all right. And then he said, by the way, Bill Plummer uses a flip phone still. He doesn't use like a phone phone. I didn't know that my dad was your plumber. That's crazy. He's like an actual meatball man.

So he He texts Here's what he said word for word 130 or after 95% Of the time I'm done working by One and then I hit the bar What does that mean he hits the bar The bar I think it means the bar But he said the bar

Period I want to let you know that every time you're telling me a story when you when you were saying back years ago when he was like oh i drank some nyQuil and i won't be able to or when you're talking about all the times you're missing it the entire time i'm like nah he's just getting drunk i don't even know this guy and i'm well aware that's what he's doing yeah well i like it just for the stories now, which is why I didn't care. I was like, this is great to talk about. So then I text the landlord and I'm like, hey, so the plumber said he's going to hit the bar and he doesn't show up.

And then he called them. And then finally, Bill, the plumber was like, hey, I'll be there tomorrow. One thirty hundred percent. And you know what? He showed up at 2.15. And he got it done. So thanks, Bill. I can't imagine what that phone call between the two of them was like. Like, Bill, why are you telling my my tenants you're going to the bar

he was probably just like i got it i got it don't worry i got it like sorry i'll be there i'll be there so yeah that was a fun time you know the weirdest people you uh you running any weird people this week? Me? Oh, my God, no. I make terrible life choices this week. I decided to take, like, you know what? I'm going to take somebody's brand deals.

You know how that be. I'm going to take somebody's brand deals. And then, like, everything was like, and it's all due the same day. And I was like, no. So I've been editing till, like like 2 a.m. some nights. Last night I was up till 5 in the morning editing a thing. My whole soul is like ruined. Yeah. I was like, I should have done this.

I should have done this. It was just like, you're like, man, I think I'm getting my schedule back in order. No, no, it was not. Well, look, it's not my fault people miscommunicate. One of them was like, yeah, this preview is only available till Friday, so you need to play it by Friday. I was like, yeah, all right. So I did that.

And then I got an email Saturday afternoon that was like, where's the video? I was like, what do you mean? Like, you're supposed to have it done by Friday. I was like, you said play it by Friday. They're like, no, the preview ends Friday. I'm like, yeah, the preview ends Friday. So I played it. They're like, no, no, no.

The preview ends. I was like, what do you mean? I think we're not using the right words here. So I got home from my dad's birthday yesterday. My dad turns the big 7-3. Oh, man. Yeah, and we ate carrot cake, and my mom gave him two cards. One card was about joints, but, like, you know, the ones that roll, which is hilarious.

And the other card was, like, a very sweet card. And it almost made both my mom and dad cry, and I was almost, you know, like when you're a kid, you're like a little disgusted by it. You're like, how dare you love each other? Yeah. You know, I think you're like, ew, I had that again. And it felt real good. I was like, oh, we're a family. I was like, I'm disgusted by your love.

We're a family. Like, ew. That's pretty funny. Yeah, and then we just like, I don't know, chilled, I guess. My mom was like, so, you know, I know you like to move a lot, but you keep saying how you want to move into a smaller place, but I'm just saying, what if you stay where you're at and then you use your spare bedroom as

just storage because i know you're not using it for anything i'm like i'm really not it is no it's it serves no purpose like you can use this storage i'm like the whole point is i'm trying to get rid of things i don't want storage and so she's like well okay let's look at other apartments so she just brings out the computer starts looking through through apartments. I'm like, why are we doing this? Like, it's a moot point. Like, none of this matters right now. And she's like, well, we can just look through it. Come on.

So we start looking through apartments. And she's like, well, this one looks nice and this one looks nice. Oh, but you don't want this one. I'm like, well, how do you know I don't want that one? She's like, it's too low. It's too low of a floor. You're not going to like it. I was like, well, if the view is good, I might.

And she's like, mm-mm. It's the street access. Someone can just low of a floor. You're not going to like it. I was like, well, if the view is good, I might. She's like, mm-mm. It's the street access. Someone can just walk into your home. I'm like, okay, mom. They'll be walking in all the time. So why are we bothering to do this right now? And so she finally

speaks. She goes, you know what? You're right. I was like, wait. We spent an hour looking at apartments. I was like wait we spent an hour looking at apartments i was telling you the entire time is unnecessary and you finally are like yeah you're right so i'm glad we did that yeah i'm glad we glad we did that my my family has a lot of that where my mom and dad will be adamant about a thing until suddenly they're not. A great example is for two years, my mom has wanted to go to Yosemite, right? She's wanted to go and see the wilderness and all these different things. And for two years, my dad's like totally cool with it.

And for two years, I'm like, yeah, whatever. Fine, let's go. You know, things happen where like COVID, for example, things happen. We just can't. Right. So my mom booked stuff for May next year. And then yesterday, my dad was like, I don't know. My mom was like, you don't want to go?

I mean, we don't have to go. I don't need to go, but I just want to kind of see it. I'm like, we've been planning this for two years. If it wasn't that important, why are we doing it? I don't want to do it anymore. That wasn't bad. I was like, well, why are we doing this? If no one wanted to go, why are we still trying to do this?

I was like, do you want to go? If you want to go, we'll go. She's like, I don't know. I'm like, do you want to go? If you want to go, we'll go. She's like, I don't know. I'm like, oh, my God. Yeah, so it was a fun day with the family. Of course. You know how it would be when you're with your family. And, yeah, and then I came home and immediately was like, ah, now I have to work.

And I worked all night, and my whole body hurt when I was done. I went to bed at 5 in the morning and woke up at 2 in the afternoon and then had an email that was like, you have to do three more edits, and then you can upload. I'm like, cool, so cool. So I did that, yeah. That's what I don't miss. I'm not a big video editor

You know what I can tell that That's my least favorite part Of YouTube It's mind numbing If you've never had to do it It's mind numbing work It's so boring There's some people where it's like

I love video editing I do my own twist on stuff And like I just I just don't like it that's why even if you go back you watch my old machinima videos there's always those scenes where i like microsoft paint draw shit and that's me just being like i don't want to edit this so let's draw it slap it like uh that's i can't stand then there's some people like just hire an editor I'm like I can't do that If I hire an editor they'll be like this isn't a Crandor original You're an artiste

It's like hiring someone else to do your art You can't do that Actually a lot of artists do do that Actually many artists do do that That's true but I don't agree with it That's morally incorrect for me Can I tell you something? I'll never forget years and years ago.

I went with my girlfriend at the time to Alcatraz. And at Alcatraz, there was an art exhibit. And we were like, oh, neat. Let's check it out. And it was by a Chinese dissident who I think was in prison somewhere. But the art was his, yet everyone doing the art was not him. And I can't tell you how much that sounds like what you're talking about. Where they were like, this is all his artwork.

I'm like, how does he do it? They're like, well, he gets on a phone call and he tells these other people to do it and then they do it for him. And I was like, how does that work? And they're like, he's a genius. I was like, what? Admittedly, it was gorgeous. It was beautiful sculptures and stuff. But I was like, is it a him though?

Is it like his work? Or is it these like four women who are doing all the work and he's taking the credit? That's all I'm asking is what is going on here. Yeah, it reminded me of that. Maybe I do need to do that. Maybe I've been missing out. Like, okay, for example, what I realized from doing all this is that I love writing the script. Like, I love making my little thing being like, I'm both rules.

I like voicing. I like writing. I love making my little thing being like, I'm both rules. I like voicing. I like writing. I like marketing. I love everything but the editing. I don't know what it is. Even filming. I enjoy filming the stuff too. I'm like, yeah, it's pretty fun. But once it's the actual editing part, I'm like...

What people don't understand as a person who's had multiple editors, what people don't understand is if you have a vision for a thing, most of the time, I'm going to say this, I'm going to mean it. Most people on YouTube don't have visions for things. Like, all right, so what do the kids want? You want words on the screen, all right? You want some funny noises like, hey guys, what's going on? And they take that clip from the stream and they put it into a highlight video and it's just like the generic music going like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop,

boop. And they're like, hey guys, what's going on? And it's like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And it's got words on the screen so your ADHD brain can process it all. And then it's like, whoa, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And then you're like, whoa, that was a crazy highlights video. And then you're like whoa it was crazy highlights video and then they're like make sure to subscribe and hit the button and it's just there's no there's no like soul in it it's just everybody's got the same shit but it doesn't matter because everybody watches it but you don't get that like you don't get the personal satisfaction yeah i get it i completely get it and that's like if you are if

You are like me and you have to create a thing Which is weird to say like you have to create something that you know is gonna have your name on it I feel bad for every editor. I have literally the editing process isn't like all right here's some videos go edit It's literally all right before you go edit this this is my vision and what I want this to be and let's tell a story and here maybe we should edit this part but change this thing and cut uh between 23 seconds and 27 seconds we don't need that footage and then okay his audio is a little bit different from my audio so you could like even that out oh yeah I'm a I'm I like a taskmaster when it comes to editing. And I'll let you know, on the video we're working on

right now, we're on version 8. And I'm just like, no, no, no, that's not... But the thing is, I know that I could edit it all the way I wanted, but it would take me four hours on a day when I have to do 80 other different things.

I simply don't have the time. Yeah. But what ends up happening is I'll have someone else edit it and then I'll probably put in that four hours in a different way where I'm like, all right. Oh, no, no, no. That's not what I wanted. You know, it's so dumb. Like, oh, even with me being like, I hate the editing part.

It's like when I would make like a well scripted edited video and then the thing that i wrote kind of like comes to life in that video and you finally put it up there's like that satisfaction of like i did it i brought my idea to life i brought that little brain fish to life and now everyone else can see what was in my head if they see it sometimes the sometimes the brain fish you nurture the most are the ones no one cares about that is true and sometimes the videos you think are terrible like when i was like uh god what was that one i made it has three million views and i remember making it and being like this video sucks i don't even know if I want to release it. I was convinced it wasn't good.

And now it's like my most popular one. So that goes to show you. I don't know what it goes to show you, but it goes to show you something. It's so profound of you. So profound. I don't know what it shows you, but it shows you something.

Shows you something. Crendor 2020. I also saw a card at Target. And it shows you. Yeah, like a card. Like you get somebody a card for your birthday. Right. No, I thought you said car at first.

And I was like, I've seen plenty of cars. Yeah. And it was a card that had occupation. Firefighter, 44,000 a year. Electrician, 52,000 a year, teacher, 55,000 a year, financial planner, 62,000 a year, lawyer, 81,000 a year, doctor, 189,000 a year, YouTube video gamer, 500,000 a month. And then you open the card and it says, if you wanted a better birthday gift bad maybe you should have rethought those screen time limits but hey thanks for looking out for me got them and then i was like man i've been a youtube video gamer for 10 years and i want to make five hundred thousand dollars yeah if i can make five here's the thing the people that are are millionaires, I don't even think they make $500,000. Actually, you know what?

There are probably a few. But most of the time. They're still multi-millionaires. Of course. If I made $500,000 a month, Crandor, I'm going to let you know. I would. I'd be gone. I would dye my hair blonde and tan myself crazy.

I would be out of control. I'd be like, hi, Crandall. It's me, Jussie. This is my pooch, Mr. Poochie. This is my girlfriend, Crandall. And she'll be like, hi, Joe. What's going on, baby? I'm like, nothing, Crandall.

This is my friend, Crandor.or krendor that's a weird name chakranda you're crazy you're crazy baby right and i feel like you're already like 40 of the way there like you're not that far off yeah i mean you mean, you know, I'm working on it. It's a work in progress. Yeah. Once you get that, boom. It's like unlocking the door to victory. I'm working on it. It's a whole thing.

Once you just Marie Kondo your life a bit more, you got it. I don't think that's how it works. I think I'd have to buy more pink sweater vests and like Tight white shorts Hmm That's what everybody's looking for now Penny loafers Yeah Dye my hair blonde

Bleach it and then slick it back And then you gotta become a TikTok person Yeah well obviously I'd get Replacement sparkling white teeth And I would have like like, lip injections. Right? Yeah.

All right. I have a haircut, though. It's pretty good. What's going on, buddy? Yeah, what would I do if that was happening? My lips are so injected. I'd just be like, what happened to you? And can I have some of your money?

I would be like, yeah, sure, pal. But you gotta get matching tattoos with me first. Well, what would the tattoo be? Probably my face on your body. I don't... I'll give you $200,000 if you stick my face on your butt. You know?

I don't know if I'd do that. Here's the thing. College Jesse most certainly would have. Now that I know that $200,000 doesn't actually go a long way. I gotta live with your butt on with my with your

butt on me what's your tattoo my butt on your butt like what i mean when i look at your butt do it to be my butt you're gonna dismount stuff 200 000 you buy a shitty house it doesn't last as long as a tattoo on your ass you could buy a solid house in like kentucky or like nebraska or some shit you could then you have a house and the shame of me on your butt forever. Well, exactly. That's what comes. You have to live with the shame, and that's really not worth any money. If it was a million, maybe.

Alright, maybe. But then, if I was a millionaire who was willing to throw around a million for anything, I would live dangerously. I'd be like, I want you to cut off your own finger for a million dollars. I'd be that guy.

Give you a million dollars. I want you to go down the street and slap every person you see. Yeah, I'd be deranged. And then he'd put it up and be like, look at what I did. Yeah. And then he'd make a million dollars. Then he'd make his million dollars. And I'd be like, look at what I did. Yeah. And then he'd make a million dollars. Then he'd make his million dollars. And I'd be like, see.

I told you. I told you I'd give you a million dollars. And then I'd disappear like a wind. Like a wind? Like a wind. Like a single wind. One single wind. So dumb.

Well, speaking of wind, this is going to be a butt joke, but I feel like it's stupid, so we might as well move on. That's probably the best option. Hey, everyone. If you are listening right now and you go to the bathroom, which I'm going to say is 99% of you. I'm not going to say 100. I don't know all of you. But for the 99% of you who do go to the bathroom, don't you think it's a little crazy that we in the U.S. are still out there just using paper to wipe our butts? I'm just putting it out there.

It's still a little crazy. The rest of the world is like on This water train And you know what So is Crendor, Crendor is now too Crendor is spritzing his tush It's true It's great

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going to drop you a link once you've done that you can get access to all of these cool coupons and uh promos that exist out there for something like 30 000 supported websites and when you go there and you go to check out all you have to do is click apply coupons because Honey's going to pop up and give you all these options. You just click apply coupons and you're good. Within a few seconds, Honey's going to search for every coupon out there. He's going to find all the codes that work and then put the best ones in your cart. You're going to save a bunch of money. On the stuff this week that I bought, I saved 23 bucks.

That's 23 bucks. That's a good lunch right there. That's a good big lunch. Honey has found over 17 million members, over 2 billion in savings. Honey supports all kinds of retailers from tech to gaming sites to fashion brands, even to food delivery. It's simple. If you have a computer, Honey should be on it. Go to joinhoney.com slash cox.

That's joinhoney.com slash cox. It doesn't matter whatever browser you're using. They are there for you. Once again, joinhoney.com slash cox. Now let's go and shop and get some of this guy's Crandor. Crandor, how's that traffic out there?

Oh boy, traffic. You know, sometimes I like to with Crandor. Crandor, how's that traffic out there? Oh boy, traffic. You know, sometimes I like to do the normal traffic. Other times I like to use this segment to talk about whatever I want. And today I'm going to use it to talk about oranges. Oranges, I think are back in season and I bought a couple oranges. Uh, they taste pretty good and I feel like they're a winter fruit. At least that's what I've heard. But I'm not like 100% positive. Uh, oranges in season.

I can't believe you're doing this. You're a monster. You're a monster. Your propellers are slowly fading. You're a monster. I was right. Buy oranges between November and January. Wow. No wonder I wanted to get some oranges dude get that vitamin C but that's not all they've got more than that

good things for you and I'm so eat oranges and uh there's some cars out there back to you oh my god my arms all right let's go to weather weather are you where are you going are you taking? What is happening to you right now? A little bit. I was going to the YouTube comments to find a weather request because I know somebody had a crazy one. Like a little mechanical mini plane. There it is. Somebody said weather request.

Here it is. Somebody said, weather request. My old hometown of Porlosson, Iceland. I'm sorry, what? Let me give you a shout out. When you say old hometown, did you mean like old home? That's an old ass name. Florgan, Iceland. What the hell?

Porn. I mean, if it didn't have umlauts and shit, I would imagine Pornlascorn. Pornlascorn. But it literally is Pornlascorn. There's gotta be a translation for this. How do you say this?

Internet. What's the point of you not... Is there like a thing? Porl Skaf and Wikipedia. Do you got a thing? No, it's got to be somewhere. It's got to be... It's got to be a pronunciation. Pronunciation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pronounced... What the hell? What? That is not aounced. What the hell? What? That is not a P. What? What? What is it?

It is, it is Thorloss? Thorloss? What? Thorloss? Thorloss? Hold on. Someone's about to pronounce this for me. Hold on.

What the shit? Forloksovn? Like what? Forloksovn? Forloksovn? Forloksovn? Forloksovn. Forloksovn.

Forloksovn. That is not a real thing. That's not how that works. You can't do that to us. They set us up for failure. You can't do that. That's so rude. That's rude as shit.

What the shit? All right. Forlux-off. Forlux-off. Even the translator doesn't really know how to say it. He's just like, Thorloxophon. I don't know. I can't even find it in theweather.com. I feel like half these places are just made up.

I did find it in AccuWeather. And the AccuWeather says Thorloxophon. So is that the actual one? Is that like the English translated? Like Thorloxofin. So is that the actual one? Is that like the English translated? Like Thorloxofin? Well, that's what I thought it was. That's what it looks like in English.

But clearly it's pronounced Thorloxofin. Thorloxofin. Thorloxofin. I put that in the weather thing. All right, we're just going to the AccuWeather today. Okay.

Loppy. All excellent weather, 38 degrees, real feel, 27, air quality, fair, wind, east, northeast, 11 miles per hour, wind gusts, 14 miles per hour. Current air quality generally acceptable for most individuals. To what? Air. To what? Air. Today's weather forecast. To air?

Air quality fair. Yes. Today's weather, 48 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 37 degrees Fahrenheit. Expect rainy weather Monday afternoon through Monday evening. Tonight, 38 degrees Fahrenheit. Tomorrow, 42 degrees Fahrenheit. Daily, 42, 40, 43, 44, 42, 44, 39, 41, 38, 39, 40.

Lots of snow and rain. Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back to you. I went to go look this city up on the internet. Yeah. And to me, it looks... You know how, like, in an RPG, they don't have the funds to make, like, a giant city, but they make, like, a small town

that has, like, all the giant city features? Oh, yeah. That's what this city... I'm looking at this place, and it's crazy looking. It's, like, in the middle... looking. It's like in the middle. It looks like it's in the middle of nowhere with kind of like a port, kind of. And then I'm going to say a hundred houses.

I can't. This is cool. But then, like, when you get closer, it's like, oh, that looks quaint. That's very sweet. But then, like, when you when you pan out you're like how is this a place? That's I can't how are people living here. Oh my god. Yeah, that's like it's crazy Okay, it looks like you someplace you live you were like in Antarctica It does kind of look like that. There's like rocks. There's like a statue of a boat rowing rocks.

Some horses. Oh my god, there's an actual map of the entire city. Oh my god, there's an actual map. So it looks like they get tourist boats that come in every now and again, but as far as I can tell from this actual map, they have

more roads for horses and bicycles than cars. They have two stadiums. One looks like maybe it's for horses, and they have, it looks like a little city center, but honestly, I don't, this is so crazy. Wow. This is pretty crazy. Wow. This is pretty crazy. Who would have?

I want to know the story about the person who got out of here. What was that like? Yeah, I don't know. Like when you went to society, when you left this tiny, small community, and you made it to society, what was that like? They do not have rocks everywhere.

This is crazy. What was that like when you left? Wow, it's so... Oh my god, they had the northern lights and stuff going on. Oh my god, that's so neat. That is pretty neat. I love how

many of the photos are... When I look up the town, many of the photos are, when I look up the town, many of the photos are just of rocks, dead whales, and then a pool. Apparently they have a pool, and it is the place to be. Yeah, that pool is some high-quality swimming. That's so wild. Yeah, okay. Well, you know what?

Bless. Yeah, I keep seeing photos of the town and it's like, yeah, so here's the town, here's the photos, and here's the big map. I found the big map of the town. So far, it looks like there are, this is not even a joke. This is not even a joke. There are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. The fact that I can count this out. 16.

I'm going to say somewhere between 20 and 28 roads, depending. I can't tell what are roads. That's it. The entire place. That's crazy. And I know I'm giving what a road is. That's it. The entire place. That's crazy. And I know I'm giving them a hard time. I've literally been to places in the States where they have one road. So, you know.

That is true. But let me give you a hard time because the places here where we have one road look like a desert and no one could possibly live there. Here, people are clearly thriving and it looks beautiful. I still don't understand. It looks like an alien world. It looks like a different planet. Yeah. Crazy.

There are an awful lot of pool pictures. That is weird. I mean. There are an awful lot of pictures of pools. An awful lot of pools in these parts. An awful lot of pictures of pools. Awful lot of pools in these parts. All right. Well, let's go to sports.

Sports. Welcome to the sports desk. How's it going? I mean, it's going. How are you? I haven't seen the scores, so I don't know if the Steelers are still undefeated. Well, lucky for you, they are, but it was close. They actually almost gave up a game-winning touchdown to the Dallas Cowboys,

who are like 2-5 or something. That's a definite Steelers thing. Yeah. If they would have lost, it would have been to a 2-5 team for sure. Oh, yeah. And it was the Cowboys' backup quarterback. God, what was his name? His name?

NFL games. It was something like Gilbert. It was his first ever game. Oh, my God. And his name was Garrett Gilbert. And the Cowboys were actually winning 13-9 at halftime. Then they were up 19-9 in the fourth quarter. And then the Steelers scored 15 points and won.

I bet that was exciting to watch. Yeah, I bet that would have been great to watch. It was busy sleep, I assume. Yep. So right now, the Saints are up watch. It was busy sleep, I assume. Yep. So right now, the Saints are up on the Buccaneers 31-0. Oh, my God. Tom Brady getting blown out. Good.

Good. Packers beat the 49ers Thursday. Texans beat the Jaguars, who did not have Minshew because he's hurt. Still has his hand that's, like's broken or whatever's going on. So Jake Lewton played. You know what? They did him wrong. This entire season, let him down. Yep.

Not looking good. Jaguars. Trade him. Trade him to... What's the team I can tolerate him being on? Trade him to the... Trade him to the Raiders. Yeah, there you go.

The Raiders is a good fit. Be in Vegas. Yeah. Come on, come all, see the Minshew. See the great Minshew. The Giants beat Washington. Ravens beat the Colts. Vikings beat the Lions.

Titans beat the Bears. Bears have lost three in a row now. Chiefs beat the Panthers. Bills beat the Seahawks. That's a good win. Falcons beat the Broncos. Raiders beat the Chargers. The Dolphins beat the Cardinals. Dolphins are actually

rolling. The Patriots and Jets play tomorrow night in a battle of bad teams because the patriots are two and five and the jets are oh and eight so thrilled about this thrilled yeah it should be a humdinger going thrilled about it nighter um good uh it looks like from the uh from the rumors, I don't even think this is a rumor, I think the NBA is going to be starting up in December 22nd. Wow, they must really want to get back to playing again. Yes.

December 22nd? NBA players vote to approve a December 22nd start date for the next season wow really so they're gonna go like all right baby Jesus move aside it's time for basketball I guess basketball is actually a big thing for a lot of people every Christmas like they always have basketball game yeah I thought it was college football but okay well it's probably that's New Year's oh yeah New Year's is college that's New Year's. Oh, yeah, New Year's is college football. That's New Year's. Yeah, basketball is always a big thing on Christmas,

and I know because when I was reading the internet, everyone was like, they got to have the Christmas games. They got to have the Christmas games. You mean I have to spend the whole day with my kid? No, no, no, they got to. To be fair, maybe that's their bonding time. Maybe they both like basketball. They both sit down and they're like, this is it.

We're going to both watch basketball here. And then they do, and they have a great time. I mean, yeah, but I feel like, you know, you might be able to bond to other ways. Maybe you get to know your child. Well, maybe he knows him. He knows he likes basketball. That's all he knows. That's all he knows.

He's like, the only thing I knew is that he liked basketball, and we've been doing this for 22 years. Maybe they disagree on everything in their life except basketball, and basketball is the one time they get to sit down and have an agreement and enjoy their company before. I don't think that room is a friendly room. I'm going to let you know. I hate you, and you hate me, but by God, we're going to sit here,

and we're going to watch this basketball, and we're going to like it. I don't think that's how that works. Listen, I'm just excited the Bulls got a new coach. They got rid of their entire front office that was ass, so I'm just excited to watch the Bulls and hopefully have hope again for them. So that's good. So I'm excited. Bless your sweet soul.

And hopefully have hope. And hopefully have hope. And that's sports. All right, Crandor. What is our big news story of the day? You're looking for a big news story of the day? I am, yes. This no-fuss cinnamon swirl quick bread is better than any cinnamon roll you've ever tasted.

What is that? Okay, I'm willing to go down this rabbit hole. I don't know how this is the story of the week, but here we are. There's no bake more comforting than a quick loaf. Clean up is a breeze with these one bowl recipes, which you can prepare in 15 minutes or less. It's been a long year. There's one thing everyone could use in their lives right now. Comfort. And that's why

Meyer Lemon Blueberry Loaf has developed by Salon's resident pastry chef Megan McGarry of Buttercream Blondie was a viral hit. Did they just promote like three brands in one sentence? I have no idea what you just said.

I have no idea what words came out of your mouth that made no sense to me. I clicked one of their links and it took me to a level up Valentine's Day by giving whoopie pies a red wine makeover. What the shit?

You are in the home cook baker section of the news, and it is lovely. It is crazy. This is like one of those morning shows where they bring on somebody and they're like, teach us how to make your apple spice loaf cake. And they're like, well, what you're going to need is a cup of apple spice and a cup of loaf cake. That is like well what you're gonna need is a cup of apple spice and a cup of loaf cake and you that is where we are yes yeah and they're like wow can i drink this or can i

eat this with my booze and they're like yeah sure you can have booze with everything like whoa you can have whoopie pies with any type of booze this is great um if uh if you missed it, I did. Salon Foods spent the last six weeks baking through fall with McGarry's roster of go-to seasonal bakes. After the popular loaf, readers pivoted to apple crisp bars, which magnified the star fruit of the season, and an apple crumb cake, which served up nostalgia in a no-fuss bake. Who is this author who 100% should be writing for anything

but this? This is like a well written article of utter nonsense. The seasonal fruit is the supreme star. This is like someone writing about a movie but it's about

like a cake. Yeah it is. This a joseph niece of the salon i appreciate joseph's writing i think it's great it's insane that this is about food but it's great i just clicked on his thing here on salon i don't know what salon is just another one of those generic like kotaku sites i think i've always heard that kotaku is the salon of gaming yes that's what i've heard all i know is they're like a ps5 review and they're like playstation 5 is gonna be great but you shouldn't enjoy it because the world is bad and it's like what the shit kind of review is this i hate Kotaku. These cozy apple crisp bar.

He literally just writes about bacon. I love this. If he could write me, I don't know. You know how when you have to sometimes submit an autobiography about yourself to a company? Yeah. Or when they promote you or whatever? Yeah. I would like this guy to just write about me the way he writes about food.

Can I pay him to do that? Because that would be amazing. Maybe you can. Oh, my God. It looks like if I keep going back, he started on politics, then warped into food. It's been a long time. This guy deserves it. He was like, instead of politics, can I just go into, like, muffins?

Like, yeah. All right. All right. It's amazing. Fair enough. Oh, my God. It may be hard to believe it, but the holidays are finally upon us. This week rings in the season with the first in a new series of modern spins on classic desserts.

Cinnamon swirl quick bread. There's no better way to ease into the most wonderful time of the year with a recipe that will not only make your kitchen smell like your home for the holidays. He also said the wrong you are. He said your kitchen smell like you are home for the holidays. We'll give him a break. But also, that's like you are home for the holidays. It'll smell like you are home for the like you are home at your home but you're not at home right now all right let me read this sentence with that there's no better way to ease into the most wonderful time of the year than with a recipe that will not only make your kitchen smell like you are home for the holidays but also

require minimal effort yeah like you are, you know, we're assuming the idea of... You know what, you're right. It's just a weird sentence. I think what he's trying to say is when you go home, it always smells a little bit better than like your own house. You know what I mean? It's dramatically correct, but it just sounds weird.

Yeah, but I'm going to give him a pass because I wanted to write my autobiography. And I'll give him a pass because I'm bad at a bunch of stuff. You could spend a pretty penny on a highly processed cinnamon at the store. Or

instead you could simply open up your pantry where you'll find everything you need to make a no fuss upgrade to both options without leaving home. The list of anything you need. We're going to do a cinnamon bread with no cinnamon? What is happening? Well, you got all-purpose flour, cinnamon eggs, and sugar. Oh, wait.

No, so he's getting cinnamon. Where are you getting the cinnamon from? Yeah, you're getting the cinnamon. I don't know. In his closet? Well, that's not where my cinnamon is. Yeah, I don't know. I have to go get cinnamon, so what kind of cinnamon do I need?

He doesn't say. What if I just take cinnamon Toast Crunch and grind it? That might work, actually. Right? But then... It's gotta be some recipe that's like, Instead of using cinnamon, grind down some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I'm just saying. Uh, oh my god.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch... Recipe. Homemade Cinnamon Toast Crunch recipe. Homemade Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch cookies. Cinnamon Toast Crunch bars. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Ooh. Cinnamon Toast Crunch bread.

Oh, shit. That is. Wait, they have Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yo, it looks good, too. Oh, my God. That looks delicious. No, that shit's going to kill me. I can't look at that anymore. They have cinnamon toast crunch churro cereal.

They have churro cereal. That is... Ooh, they have cinnamon toast crunch banana bread. That sounds good. Oh, my God. Why is everybody making banana bread now? That was like a thing this year. I don't know.

Probably because it's one of the easier breads I think to make. Oh yeah, maybe. Even you can make a banana bread. Yeah, like I think it's one of the easier ones to not screw up. Interesting. I think that's how it's supposed to be. Or either I'm just very skilled at making banana bread.

Have you made a banana bread? I have made banana bread. Banana bread's one of the few breads. I've never made a bread bread. You know, like a loaf of something? Right. But I've made banana bread and I've made a pound cake, which I think is the same premise, I think, as a banana bread. I don't know.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's that same type of shape and texture, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I've done that. I've made muffins and biscuits and all this stuff, pancakes. You know, all the things a normal person probably has made. But I wasn't on that make a bread train this year. I didn't think like, ah, well, I've got plenty of time to kill.

I guess I'll make bread. That didn't last long for anybody. People were on that for about a month, and then that disappeared real quick. Yeah, that's true. Anyway, I mean, the rest of the article is just like telling you how to make it, and then it just says, Simplicity isn't the only reason to love a quick loaf. Like its apple and blueberry relatives, the cinnamon version fits any menu.

It's the perfect starter for a boozy brunch, afternoon pick-me-up when paired with a hot cup of tea, or after dinner, a dessert alongside a heaping scoop of vanilla ice cream. If you aren't hosting family and friends this holiday season, this loaf makes a great gift that is guaranteed to liven up any boring cookie swap. It also freezes well for when you need some emotional support. Here's to a

season filled with joy and laughter. You know what? Great article. Maybe one of the best ones we've done in a long time. Honestly, I feel like we needed one of those. Yeah, I do too. I feel like, you know what? It's about damn time. Yeah, we've had too many just like, Florida man

yells about lettuce again. Like, I get it. Alright? He's on drugs or alcohol. He's mad. Let's just read about some cinnamon cake. If he was on cinnamon cake instead of booze and drugs, things would have been a lot different.

Yeah. Exactly. Just saying. Just putting it out there. Just saying. Yeah. Now there's going to be an article next week like, drugged out cinnamon cake fiend robs liquor store. We're going to have to be like, oh, no.

It was good while it lasted. All right. That's it for us. Thank you so much for listening and watching. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Crendor, hit them with the socials. Socials. We talked about YouTube.

Hit that like button. Smash that subscribe. Tell your friends and family about us. We're on YouTube. We're on YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. We're also on YouTube. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor. Take off the podcast part.

It's all fun animation. Subscribe, like, comment over there. Also, on the YouTube podcast, if you want your city to be on the weather segment, just be like, my city's boogle-baggle, and then, you know, we might read it. We'll judge your city, yeah.

Also, it also helps because I don't have to type in zip codes and think of shit anymore. So that's great. And then we're on everything else. iTunes, Spotify, SoundCloud. We're all over there. Also, check out our normal stuff. We got Twitch.tv slash Jess Cox. Twitch.tv slash Crendor.

YouTube.com slash Jess Cox. YouTube.com slash Crendor. Facebook.com slash Jess Cox. Facebook.com slash Crendor. Twitter.com slash Jess Cox. Twitter.com slash Crandor youtube.com says just Cox youtube.com slash Crandor facebook.com such as Scott Facebook.com That's creditor Twitter. I come such as cock Twitter. It comes just creditor you'd Instagram that comes like notorious Cox Instagram Dot-com slash Crandor was taken. Why are you so different Instagram? Why got it? Sucks so bad Why couldn't we got to that game late name? We got to that game late. We did sad, but you know Yeah, I got a friend or was taken We got to that game late. We did. It was sad, but, you know. Crandor was taken.

Yeah, there needs to be a new social media platform so we can jump on that right away. There does. Where's the next flip-flop or dingles or slurmies, right? Open your dingles. Just open your dingles and update your dingle feed. Dingles.com slash jessicox that's it alright

that's it for us see y'all next week and as always to be continued