Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 268 - Bare With Us

Episode Date: December 21, 2020

The boys are back and this week, legend tells of another crazy run in at the infamous gas station! Also Crendor discovers there are certain Christmas songs he does not enjoy AT ALL. Then Santa and his... elves raid a drug den. All this and so much more on another brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://babbel.com and use promo code COX to get 3 months free with a purchase of a 3 month subscription! Go to http://hawthorne.co and use promo code cox to get 10% off your first purchase!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by Hawthorne. Hawthorne gonna get you smelling so good. Also today we're brought to you by Babbel. Babbel is going to help you start 2021 with a new attitude and a new language. We'll get to that as well. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody it's time for Ghost on of Gags and Crandons. Hello everybody, welcome to another exciting episode of Gangster Credo in the morning. Uh, oh man, I messed it up. In the morning. Uh, whoo. In the morning.
Starting point is 00:01:00 In the morning. We'll broadcast love In the morning We got cred or What? It sounded like it became an early 90s song. Yeah, I was hoping that it'd have like a little like reggaeton funk background in the back. You know, like
Starting point is 00:01:17 we were in Miami, right? That does not get said. Da da da da da da da da da da Da da da da da da da da Da da da da da da da da Like it sounded more like that. Sting is always one of my go-to If I was going to make a song It would be like a Sting song That's true That's probably why I just went there
Starting point is 00:01:37 Cox and Credo Red Dew Show I like it. Thank you. I'm glad you do, or else that would have been terrible. Just like, I hate that. And then it's the end of the show. I'd rather you never did that again.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Yeah. Credit music, please. I think I'm done with this. I think I'm over it. Yeah. Goodbye, everybody. They never did another show after that moment. It lasted two minutes, and then it was over.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Man, it's one week till Christmas. Look at that. Well, actually, less than a week. Less than that, yeah. Yeehaw. We are less than a week away from the big day where you still are at home, but hey, you have presents to open now. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Did you listen to Christmas music at all? Have you seen any holiday movies? I haven't seen any holiday movies. I have been doing everything but watching TV lately. I did watch that Chess TV show, the one with the attractive redhead who I really didn't care about Chess, but was like, I want to see what happens with her um i watched that and i watched mandalorian and i watched something else but i can't remember what it was but it wasn't good so it doesn't matter and that's it that's literally all i've done when it comes to tv lately um i didn't do any of that i did however, go to my parents yesterday to make cookies. And by make cookies, I mean my mom had already made them by the time I got there. And they just wanted my help decorating them.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Because, you know, it's like a Christmassy thing for them. So I was like, all right. And we decorated cookies. And, you know, shot the proverbial shit, if you will. And listened to Christmas music to the whole thing, and I made a bunch of cookies that, you know, some were insane looking, and some were, I was like,
Starting point is 00:03:33 you know what, I'm very proud of this one. I made one cookie that had a tree and snow, and then I used little sugar sprinkles on it to make it look like the snow was, you know, reflecting in the light. I thought I did very good. And then other cookies I made into weird faces, because, you know, reflecting in the light, I thought I did very good. And then other cookies I made into weird faces because, you know, whatever. And then my mom had this red, I don't want to say food coloring.
Starting point is 00:03:52 It was like supposed to be red icing, but it was from a tube. And when I opened it and tried to use it, it looked like blood came out. And I was like, oh, this is bad. So one cookie looks like someone bled over the cookie. Yeah. is bad. So one cookie looks like someone bled over the cookie. Yeah, there's a wide variety of some cookies look great and some we clearly were testing the waters
Starting point is 00:04:11 with and that's fine. That's fine. That's how it works. They're going to get eaten anyway. And so yeah, that was the day. And I hung out and chilled with the parents for a little bit and then came back and got work stuff done. You know, as it is on bit and then came back and got work stuff done. You know, as it is on the internet.
Starting point is 00:04:27 And you're getting work stuff done is a common occurrence around here. Well, it's true. Turns out, again, like I've said before, working from home only makes things worse. I don't have an off. I'm like, well, I could do, I don't know, anything but work, but I might as well get this done now so that I just do a thing, which then frees me up time to do more stuff. I'm like, oh, yeah, so that's me.
Starting point is 00:04:55 But one day that should change. He says. People kept tweeting at me because they were like, hey, the Christmas cookie looks like you or something you do. I don't know if it was it looked like me or something I did. No, I mean, they say it does. I was trying to do like a Van Gogh thing or some sort of like impressionism art piece or something. Yeah, it just looks like Mr. Bill.
Starting point is 00:05:20 Yeah, like postmodern Mr. Bill. You're absolutely right. Yeah. And that's all I was trying to do. But everyone was like, you're making Crendor. And I was like, if that's how you see Crendor, we had a whole problem here. And it's not my problem. It doesn't even have a beard.
Starting point is 00:05:33 It has like green sideburns and red hair. I don't even have red hair. Some guy said it looked like me. And I was like, well, that's not even remotely close, but okay. I think it looks more like you than me. It has the red hair. It's got the circles around the eyes like glasses. It's got like a little whole thing going on, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:52 It was certainly an interesting day. Not much happened, although I did get gas, and I did see the craziest thing. Oh, my God. You ever meet a person, and you know they're crazy? Not like, oh, that person's so crazy, but like actually crazy? Probably, yeah. I believe you have. I don't.
Starting point is 00:06:10 If you were about to say no, I'd be like, I don't believe that for a minute. There, I went to the gas station and there was a woman at the pump. Again, this is the famous gas station. I would expect nothing else when you say gas station. Right, right, right, right. The woman at the pump next to me, I couldn't see her, but she was like laughing to herself a bunch. And already that's weird.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Just to laugh to yourself a bunch in public for no reason is already like a little much. And so she was just laughing to herself while pumping gas. And then this guy and his girlfriend, question mark, walked by with their dog and she shouts at the top of her lungs at this couple and their dog. Hey, nice ass. And the couple turns around and looks at him.
Starting point is 00:06:57 She goes, just joking. Just joking. Talking about the dog. And I was like, Oh no. What the shit? Yeah. And so already I was like, Oh, no. What the shit? Yeah, and so already I was like, uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:07:08 All right, Jesse, get through this gas thing. Do not engage with this person. Do not engage. Yeah, I was like, mm-mm, time to back out. I see this person come from around the gas pump, and I see her walking towards the inside of the store. And as I pass her, we lock eyes. And I've never truly experienced crazy eye,
Starting point is 00:07:33 but I saw it that moment and realized, oh no, you can tell some people are kind of like a little too intense. And she had that look, And she walked in the store. And I was like, well, you know what? At least I won't have to talk with her anymore. And as I finish pumping my gas, I hear, nice car you got there. And I turn. She's just standing there, hands on hips, staring at me.
Starting point is 00:08:01 It's like a horror movie. How do I describe this person to you? She was maybe five feet tall. She had black hair with a black beanie. And her shirt said, Ask me about my puppies. Oh, no. She had pants on that were kind of like,
Starting point is 00:08:22 they might have been pre-bought this way, but they appeared to be jeans that had multiple patches sewn onto them. But again, could have been a pre-purchase, you know how people be these days, but it looked like jeans that were stitched together and patches holding them together. And she had a backpack on and the backpack was one of those backpacks, not a normal backpack, but you you know a backpack that like a 13 year old girl has where she doesn't want to carry a purse. She carries that like little baby backpack.
Starting point is 00:08:49 You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had one of those. Unlike the rest of her, which kind of matched, this thing was a dark green. And hanging from it, the back of it, were tassels. Like lots of tassels. And not that they were on
Starting point is 00:09:05 the backpack, but that she had purchased these trinkets and then put them on it herself because they were all different. They didn't look like anything you would want to collect. One of them literally was a fork. And I was like, okay.
Starting point is 00:09:23 And she said, nice car! And I was like, hey. And she said, nice car. And I was like, hey, thanks. Thank you. She's like, so is it yours? And I was like, uh-oh. I was like, yeah, it's my car. She's like, wow, that's great. I'm still paying off my car.
Starting point is 00:09:37 I was like, oh, yeah, I mean, same here. Still monthly payments. And she's like, oh, I thought you had paid for all of it. And I was like, no, no, no, all of it i was like no no no not me i was like actually no i'm just leaving i'm going to my parents house she's like oh you're close with your parents it's like yeah yeah i am and she goes there it is she goes my parents don't talk to me anymore yep Yep, there it is. And I was like, well, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:10:07 That must suck. And she goes, no, I hate them. Okay. Well, I hope you have a great day and I will, you know, see you around.
Starting point is 00:10:20 And she looks at me and goes, will you? And I just got in my car and drove off i was like that is not a question i aim to answer no thank you man and the worst part is i couldn't tell if she was you know like when she said nice ass to the dog yeah i couldn't tell if she was messing with me like i just didn't know what was happening Because nothing she said was said in a way that was anything but borderline laughing, as it was being said. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:54 It's one of those things where you don't know if they're, like, they are just joking or if they're actually crazy masking it with the laughing. I just didn't know. Pure insanity. I had no clue what was happening, and I refused to stick around and be a part of it. I was like, not today. I don't even know what this is. But it was also one of those things where I don't think she could have been.
Starting point is 00:11:16 You know how some people are just weird? You know? Like Zooey Deschanel Corky, but the next level. Right? Some people are just like that. And I think this might have been her. She had a very nice car. She seemed very well put together.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Her clothes seemed that kind of clothing that you would buy to seem kind of goofy. You know what I'm saying? Like, nothing about her rang as, oh, this is a person who probably needs help. It was more, oh, this person's just strange. Like, you wouldn't see her and be like, Oh, it's a crazy person. She just,
Starting point is 00:11:48 I don't know. Maybe she was on drugs. I have no idea what's going on. It was an experience that I was like, no, thank you. I do not wish to be a part of this anymore. It's the gas station.
Starting point is 00:11:58 It's the gas station. Every time I go there for some reason, every time someone sees anyone to talk to, they only ever talk to me you're just like a you're an approachable person i don't someone told me recently you have a lot of charisma you're like that kind of person how do i get rid of it how do i not have that instead be seen seem very frightening like people don't want to talk to me. Let's look at TB. Nobody wanted to approach TB. He's going to be mean
Starting point is 00:12:28 and insult me or something. He probably would have. But in a fun way. True. I just don't want... I want to go to a place where someone doesn't ask me for $5 for their school field trip every time I go there.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Man. You just need to go to that gas station once a week You'll be loaded with stories I actually would I would have tons of stories Every time I'm there there's another thing But every time it's just I saw One time I was there
Starting point is 00:13:00 I saw a guy back into the Actual gas pump and he was more concerned about it than the actual attendant. And he was like, my car is going to get on fire! My car is going to get on fire! And the guest attendant was like, calm down, sir.
Starting point is 00:13:17 That's not how it works. He's like, ahhh! I was like, whoa! What? Yeah, the people who work there must have to deal with a lot of craziness. Because she was just like, no, sir. It's not how it works. He's like, ah, it's going to explode on my car. She's like, sir, you just, I don't, I think he was trying to overreact.
Starting point is 00:13:49 So they didn't start talking to him about the damages he caused, maybe. I don't know why I try to rationalize people. I don't know. Because he was just like, ah, like screaming loud. I mean, I mean, I mean, if he really thinks his car is going to blow up, I mean, he's probably, you know. But there was no leaking gas. He, like, didn't knock it over or break it in any way. He just bumped into it.
Starting point is 00:14:23 And they're like, sir, you can, like, if you just pull away from it, he's like, it could cause a spark. Look at that. It's metal on metal. And she's like, no, sir, your car cause a spark. Look at that. It's metal on metal. And she's like, no, sir, your car's not made of metal. Your bumper's not metal, sir. He's like, it's metal on metal. I mean, okay, look, let me play devil's advocate a little bit. This guy, maybe he's had incidents at gas stations before.
Starting point is 00:14:44 That is even worse. Maybe he's got a fear of just fire or explosions or something. And he's been fearing this the whole time and he just hates going to the gas station. He goes to the gas station. He's like, alright, here we go. And then boom, he hits the bump and it just sets everything off. This guy was maybe 16.
Starting point is 00:15:00 I don't think he has enough life experience to truly be like, I'm so worried. I don't know. At 16, I had a high anxiety level. All right. I think you're just thinking about you at 16 where you're probably just like, whoo, it's me, Jesse Goddard, which is why everybody wants to approach you.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Oh, no, that sucks. You think you want to approach the guy who's like don't fuck this back off the car maybe i need to from now on be like oh it's gonna explode so people will stay away from me yeah exactly and then that lady'd probably be like, wow, you're looking hot. You'd be like, what? She'd be like, have a fire. I will also say that in the actual mart itself, there are usually three people behind the counter. There's this younger woman who I think is, I don't know, maybe she's a kid of someone who works there. And then there's this old lady and then this dude. And the guy is very nice, but he's like business nice.
Starting point is 00:16:08 The girl does not address me at all. The young girl, if she checks me out, she doesn't even look me in the eye. It's very obvious she'd care less about being there. But the older woman, every time I'm there, she flirts. Every time. And lately she's like, Merry Christmas, sweetie. I hope you have a nice holiday. And I'm like, I will. And she's like, all right, sweetie. I hope you have a nice holiday. And I'm like, I will.
Starting point is 00:16:28 And she's like, all right, well, I'll see you later. I'm like, all right, see you later. And she gives me a wink every time. And here's the thing. I love it. I love it. Old people, I'm going to let you know right now. Grandmas, grandpas, I love when you get flirty.
Starting point is 00:16:44 I think it's hilarious. I need more of it in my life. Thank you very much. This has been my TED Talk. Old people, flirt with me some more. It's cute. You just need to meet more old diner women. I'm telling you, when I was a kid, old diner women would hit on me.
Starting point is 00:17:06 When I would go to Denny's after plays and stuff, the old ladies who worked there would always sit down next to me at the booth and be like, So, Sugar, what are you up to? And I'd be like, you know, just hanging with my friends. They're all out smoking, though. And they'd be like, oh, smoking's bad for your health. And I'd be like, yeah, I know. I don't like to do things that are bad. And they'd be like, oh, don't you? And I'd be like, sometimes.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Oh, yeah. I would flirt with them. They were all like 60 plus. And I'd be like, sometimes. Oh, yeah. I would flirt with them. They were all like 60 plus, and I'd be like 19. Just like, you know, what can I say? I'm a little dangerous. They'd be like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:17:38 The thing is, I never, ever, ever follow through. So as long as you're okay with our relationship The elderly of America being Me flirting with you and then Just like going home afterwards if that's cool with you I'm down Man Yep See again
Starting point is 00:17:58 You're attracting just everybody All the time That's obviously not true I only attract like the dregs of society You know There's never been a moment in my life where I've been out on the street And like a model walks up
Starting point is 00:18:17 And is like hey You seem like someone I want to talk to It's never that It's always the person with the backpack With the fork hanging from it who's like, hey, nice ass. Talking about the dog. That person.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Yeah, that's true. I think you do just draw those people in. I know. I know what I am. The worst part is my dad would probably be like, hey, if she's single, maybe take her up on the offer. He probably would. I know him.
Starting point is 00:18:50 He'd be like, well, I mean, look, everyone likes a little crazy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Man. I could already hear everything he'd say. He'd be like, no crazier than some of the other girls you've dated. I know exactly what he would say in these situations i absolutely know oh my god uh well for me i've been listening to christmas music and not like putting it on just put on the
Starting point is 00:19:21 radio you know uh-huh and then it's some of the songs, it's like, you know, I'm like, these are good songs. Some songs, I'm like, God, I just can't stay in these Christmas songs. What are the Christmas songs you can't stand? I can't stay in the, like, that one. God, what is it? It's like, where are you Christmas? Oh, that song's trash. That's a trash song.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Yeah. I hate that song. What's the other one that song's trash. That's a trash song. I hate that song. What's the other one? Let's see. Christmas songs. I think we talked about our favorite songs last year. Yeah, for sure. The worst songs.
Starting point is 00:19:53 For sure. My favorite one of all time is like, Have a holy, jolly Christmas. Oh, yeah. That's one of my favorite songs. That song slaps. Yeah. That's a good song.
Starting point is 00:20:03 It's the best time of the year. Let's see. Worst Christmas songs. Oh, I hate the hippopotamus one. What do you mean? I just hate it. Oh, that's garbage too. Yeah, what songs are you listening to?
Starting point is 00:20:19 Let's put them on the radio. There's like a swap between all of them. You got to get a playlist. You got to get a Christmas you got to get a christmas song playlist of the classics yeah that's true uh but then you get to hear the bad ones and be like god i hate it and then stop listening yeah we were listening to music the other day uh while making cookies and and alvin you know how there's like the infamous alvin and the chipmunk song which is like me i want to hold that one right where he's like alvin classic but apparently they recorded The infamous Alvin and the Chipmunks song, which is like, me, I want a whole lot of hope.
Starting point is 00:20:45 That one, right? Where he's like, Alvin. Classic. But apparently they recorded a whole album of Christmas songs. Not as classic. Kind of crappy. But this thing, it ranked the worst Christmas songs, and it says the worst Christmas song ever is Wonderful Christmastime, Paul McCartney.
Starting point is 00:21:04 But I think that song's good. I think that song's good, too. Why would they say that's the worst Christmas song ever is Wonderful Christmas Time Paul McCartney. But I think that song's good. I think that song's good too. Why would they say that's the worst Christmas song? They said this is the Beatles of terrible Christmas songs. It's a love song between a middle-aged man and the new Casio keyboard he got in his stocking. A song whose awesome black hole of musicality
Starting point is 00:21:20 is almost powerful enough to suck the life out of everything McCartney did before. Oh, this person doesn't know how to have fun. Listen here, Luke O'Neill. You're a black hole that sucks the fun out of everything you walk past. All right. Yeah. Oh, Luke, you stink.
Starting point is 00:21:33 That's not cool. That's a fun song. That's a fun-ass song. Oh, my God. I just clicked on his other articles. All right. It looks like he hasn't written anything in years. But here's some other great articles. Alright, it looks like he hasn't written anything in years. But, here's some other
Starting point is 00:21:46 great articles. No one is at the gym to talk to you. Please keep conversations to a minimum. How old is he? What is this person's name? I'm looking this person up. This is Luke O'Neil. Luke O'Neil's world
Starting point is 00:22:02 is hell and he's sharing it with us. Boston Magazine. It just sounds like he's just an angry person He needs happiness Absolutely Absolutely In fact The city life of Boston Magazine The article starts out this way
Starting point is 00:22:23 I worry about Luke O'Neill sometimes. That's what it says. Yeah, it says he has a way of internalizing the sorrows of the news cycle, presenting its most troubling themes alongside his own struggles, and weaving it all into a grand narrative about decay and despair. Sounds like a great person to have over at a party but i'm just gonna give you this link and you can see luke o'neill in the flesh and let me tell you his exact you sent me one too i thought he looks very safe luke o'Neill definitely looks like the dude who just is not pleased to be there.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Oh yeah. He looks like just constant in a constant state of depression and sadness. Yeah I wonder is it a bit? Maybe it's a bit. Yeah the interview is amazing. It's like seems like you internalize all this constantly. Is it
Starting point is 00:23:22 exhausting? He's like 100%. Man. like you internalize all this constantly is it exhausting he's like 100 man um so yeah don't listen to those opinions on the songs uh uh let's see what's the other oh my god well we know why he doesn't write articles anymore. This is amazing. I do worry about this. Like, I want to help this guy. The Boston Globe famously fired you after the backlash to your column about you wanting to piss in Bill Kristol's salmon. Have you moved on from the ordeal, do you think?
Starting point is 00:24:01 And he responds, I don't really care about it anymore. And then he writes, I never really wanted to do the column in the first place i pretty much knew going into it that i was going to get fired but i figured it was going to be something i tweeted why not do it for something i actually wrote in the paper wow this guy really does not care. He's committed to it, I guess. Yeah, I guess he is, I mean, good on him. Apparently he's big anti-Nazi, so good on this guy. But, yeah, I guess he got doxxed a bunch and stuff. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:24:38 That's not cool. Don't do that, weirdos. So this guy's actually pretty big. I thought he was just some random writer. No, he's apparently very Very influential in the world of writing Stuff's Well
Starting point is 00:24:50 Although again he may be influential But the dude looks like he's not There to have fun He looks very unready to have fun Well other bad Christmas songs. There's another one. This is the 12 worst Christmas songs. There's Mistress for Christmas, ACDC.
Starting point is 00:25:16 I mean, yeah, all right. That's probably terrible. Mistletoe by Justin Bieber. That's probably terrible. Nuttin' for Christmas by Barry Gordon. I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas. That's a, I don't give a shit what you say. That's a
Starting point is 00:25:32 bop right there. The Chipmunk song. That's also a bop. That's a bop. Yeah. This person's stupid. Same old Lang sign. I don't even know what that is person's stupid. Same old Lang Syne. I don't even know what that is. Probably a twist on old Lang Syne.
Starting point is 00:25:50 But I don't know what it is. Who sang it? I just clicked on a thing, and it's like, We got this thing, so the man went to Christmas time. I hate those types of songs. I agree. I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Yep, yep.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Little drummer boy? I hate the little drummer boy. I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Yep, yep. Little drummer boy? I hate the little drummer boy. John Denver, please daddy, don't get drunk this Christmas. Oh my God. Oh my God. That might be a Luke song. Anything depressing.
Starting point is 00:26:24 The Hanukkah song by Adam Sandler. That's silly and fun, but I would never be like that. We're putting that on, kids. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. That's like another meme song. Hilarious. Jingle Bells by Jingle Dogs. Well, that's probably... Oh, yeah, definitely. It is that's probably, orf, orf, orf, that's got it.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Oh yeah, definitely. It is, it is in fact, yeah. Uh, I've never heard anybody be like, dude, put on the Jingle Dogs. No one has, no one will, that's an easy one. Uh, and The Christmas Shoes. What? What is that song? The Christmas Shoes?
Starting point is 00:27:05 The Christmas, hold? The Christmas... Hold on. Here you go. Whoa. Whoa. What the hell is... Is this like a movie? This has to be a movie.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Yeah, this has to be a movie. Yeah, I think it's a song for a movie. The Christmas Shoes. God. Christmas Shoes. No, that is not good. That's not not a good song i don't like that one bit i guess those are the worst christmas songs like i don't know most of those i haven't even heard it yeah i'm just gonna say it there's too many christmas songs we should keep the standards
Starting point is 00:27:38 and just live with what we got we don't need new ones. The old ones are fine. All I'm saying is it's that time of year we gotta deal with this stuff. But it's that time of year where we've gotta deal for you. Oh, that was good. Oh, that was good. Speaking of good, let's talk about Hawthorne. If you've been thinking about making some personal changes, some lifestyle changes about your self-care routine, I know I have, and the problem is most people have no idea where to start. And Hawthorne is there to guide you on that path to take care of yourself a little bit better. Hawthorne is a premium tailored personal care brand that's making it easier for guys to feel and smell their best.
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Starting point is 00:32:26 Alright, Crandall, let's go to Chapter 7 of the Sky with Crandall and the Traveler. Oh, boy. Traffic time. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Traffic time. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Traffic time. Traffic time.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Are you going crazy? Traffic time. Traffic time.'s up? Traffic time. Traffic time. Traffic time. Traffic time. Traffic time. There's some traffic out there.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Back to you. What? How dare you? How dare you? All right. Let's go to weather. How's the weather out there? Weather.
Starting point is 00:33:02 All right. Let's see. What do we got this week? Lincoln, Nebraska, because our Capitol building looks like a massive peen. Whoa. You about to make me look this up. Lincoln, Capitol, peen. Lincoln, Capitol, peen.
Starting point is 00:33:22 I mean, here's the thing. It's a very erect building, that's for sure. Yeah, but it's not like, you know. It's not very penis-shaped. Although I am worried. Are you okay? Do you need anything? Should we call a doctor?
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah, this doesn't look like. Wow, although I will say, compared to everything around it, it sticks out. It is much larger than all the surrounding buildings. Oh, my goodness. That is true. I can understand how if you saw this, you'd be like, I think someone definitely is trying to say they have a small penis. I mean, it's Nebraska.
Starting point is 00:33:59 It's like the biggest thing in Nebraska. You're right. That's all that needs to be said. But we'll do Lincoln, Nebraska anyway. Lincoln, Nebraska. 44 degrees in Lincoln, Nebraska. Today you got 38 degrees, 46 in the afternoon, 40 in the evening, 39 overnight. You got some 29.84 inches of pressure.
Starting point is 00:34:25 You got 10 miles visibility, 10 mile an hour winds. You got a dew point of 28, no UV, and a moon phase of a waxing crescent. Waxing crescent. Do you know what that means to you? Wax on, wax off. All right, man. Cool.
Starting point is 00:34:42 All right. Glad I found my answer. Yeah, no problem monday 52 sunny tuesday 57 mostly sunny then wednesday 34 thursday christmas eve you got a 31 friday christmas 41 saturday 43 sunday 42 monday 34 tuesday 34 31. Thursday, 32. Friday, 33. Saturday, 35. Sunday, 36. Pretty much a standard December temperature month, it seems. And only one day of snow possible in there.
Starting point is 00:35:13 So that's a little crazy. But maybe it'll be a crazy snow. Who knows? That's a crazy snow. Maybe it'll be crazy snow. Who knows? It'll be a crazy snow. That's how weather reports really work.
Starting point is 00:35:25 I don't know. Maybe it'll be crazy snow. Who knows? It'll be crazy snow. Who knows? It'll be crazy snow. That's how weather reports really work. I don't know. Maybe it'll be crazy snow. Who knows? It'll be crazy snow. It's a crazy snow. All right. Let's go to sports. Welcome to the sports desk.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Woo. We've got some crazy football news and some other news. So we'll start with the other news first. First thing, NHL has agreed to a 56-game season starting January 13th. So hockey will be starting up again. Great. The NBA is going to be starting on... They already played the preseason games.
Starting point is 00:36:04 It's starting on Tuesday. Tuesday is opening day for the NBA. So right around the corner. And in the NFL, we've got crazy stuff. First up, we've got the Cowboys beating the 49ers. The Seahawks beating the football team. The Bears beating the Vikings. The Dolphins beating the Patriots.
Starting point is 00:36:24 This is the first time the Patriots haven't made the playoffsikings the dolphins beating the patriots this is the first time patriots haven't made the playoffs or won the division or something and like long ass time long ass time baltimore beating jacksonville tampa bay beating atlanta uh tennessee beat detroit colts beat the texans the jets beat the the Rams in an insane game where the Jets were going 0-16 and they have now won a game so they will not go 0-16. Probably go 1-15. This, after a week, I was listening
Starting point is 00:36:54 to a radio show where the host was talking about how he was a Buffalo Bills fan. A caller called in and was like, No, you're not. You've been a Jets fan for years. You can't just switch to the Bills. And he's like, I'm a New York fan. He's like, no, you've been a Jets fan, and just because they suck, you're switching.
Starting point is 00:37:13 He's like, they do suck particularly bad this year. And he's like, yo, you can't just switch teams to the Bills because you want to ride that train. And he's like, what? I've always said that I love Buffalo. And he's like, no, I've been i've loved buffalo and he's like no i've been listening to you for so long it was amazing i just want to say shout out to that fan who called the dude out it was great honestly i agree you can't just switch teams you can't just switch teams especially if your team is losing you got to be like a proud detroit person right detroit
Starting point is 00:37:42 sticks by the lions no matter what and they suck but they're always there no one's ever like you know what i think i'm done with detroit they're like cubs fans yes exactly they're gonna be there no matter what yes i had it been like 113 years since the cubs won the world series so you know, you can't just stop and be like, you know what, I give up. And if you do, you're a loser. Can't quit. If you do, you're a loser. Gendry coming in hard with that. Damn.
Starting point is 00:38:15 You've already lost if you quit on your team. You've already lost. So, yeah, it was, you know, Jets actually won a game and now they're tied with the jaguars for the worst record and the jaguars i believe lead the uh so the thing so they actually get the number one pick so a lot of jets fans are mad because they've lost the number one pick now i can't poor minchu he started out so strong. I know. Downhill. Why does this happen to us all the time? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Why do we always pick the one that just looks crazy? Maybe we should focus on their ability. Nah, nah, nah. That's not fun. Let's not do that. That'd be weird. Chargers beat the Raiders in overtime. The Bills beat the Broncos. And the Packers beat the Panthers.
Starting point is 00:39:09 And currently, the Cardinals are winning over the Eagles with 30 seconds left. And the Chiefs are beating the Saints with nine minutes left. So we'll see what happens there. The season's winding down. We're winding down. Playoff pictures are getting set there's only two more weeks of football before the playoffs it i can't wait for the playoffs and i can actually watch and care yes that does make it a lot more fun yeah i'll be really like final weeks it's not
Starting point is 00:39:36 even like all the bad teams are out and there's like whatever and the good teams are just playing for positioning yeah this should be fun i can't wait to see what happens, and I'll actually take time to watch instead of be like, I wonder what the scores are. Come on down to the sports. Come on down to the sports. Come on down to the sports. That's sports.
Starting point is 00:39:59 All right, Crandall, what's our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Of the day. Peru. Police conduct drug raids dressed as Santa Claus and Elf. I've actually seen the video of this. It is incredible.
Starting point is 00:40:22 All right, yes, this is our story for sure. Yeah, I see the video right here. It actually does look pretty insane. A police drug squad in Peru have raided a house dressed as Santa Claus and an elf detaining suspected drug dealer. A police spokeswoman said the man was accused of selling drugs outside his house near a school. Officers wearing a flak jacket under their costumes arrived in an undercover van before breaking into the house where they discovered a bag that appeared to contain drugs, baklavas, and a gun. Am I the only one who ever, whenever I see the word baklava, I always think of like the, what's the?
Starting point is 00:41:04 Here's the thing. I was thinking the here's the thing i was thinking the same thing too i was thinking the same i was like wait there's just a bunch of like delicious honey nut square pillow crunchy goodness in there i don't yeah i don't know how to describe baklava i don't yeah is it baklava is it just spelled differently no it's b-a-k-l it's baklava l-a-v- it Baklava? Is it just spelled differently? No, it's B-A-K-L. It's Baklava, L-A-V-A. Baklava. Oh, yeah, there it is. Well, then what's... And then this one.
Starting point is 00:41:31 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, these are balaclavas. Yeah. All right, I was about to say, balaclava is not a baklava. That's two different things, my friend. That's what it is. I get them mixed up. They just got a whole bag.
Starting point is 00:41:45 It's just drugs, guns, and like vodka. Yeah, I was like, wait a minute, what? When we get hungry, we need something to eat. That's what I was like, wait a minute. What you're saying is a totally different thing. The country's police have used disguises during raids for some time and say the method is an effective tactic. Wait, that's all they put? That's the article?
Starting point is 00:42:15 That's it? Yeah, that's it. I don't see anything else. Also, can we just talk about how they literally could have wrote a thing full of drugs and masks? Instead, they were like, no, no, no, no, no. We're not calling it a mask. We're going to confuse Grendor and call it a balaclava.
Starting point is 00:42:35 There's got to be some memes of easily confused words. See, here you go. Baclava and balaclava. That's what i'm saying well what is a mask that people wear in like the cold and the other is a delicious dessert with nuts with honey and nuts and phyllo dough lose and loose sure resign yeah resign and resign Interesting Yeah Advice and advise Ooh that's a good one Yep
Starting point is 00:43:07 That is a good one Compliment and compliment I guess like you give a compliment and then like Something compliments something else So like that scarf compliments the outfit Yeah yeah yeah Okay I can see that Disinterested and uninterested
Starting point is 00:43:24 Ooh interesting that's a good one Bear and bear Okay, I can see that Disinterested and uninterested Ooh Interesting, that's a good one Bear and the bear Right, right, and I always For the longest time growing up I would be like, you have to bear with me But spell it B-A-R-E Because it made more sense than you have to be
Starting point is 00:43:40 A furry bear with me And then I was told that's totally wrong You have to bear with it. Like B-E-A-R is how you're supposed to say that phrase. And I was like, what? So the things you learn. Further and farther. Sure.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Okay. Illusion and illusion. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, because you're alluding alluding yeah you're alluding to something something is an illusion versus something is an illusion oh effect and effect i always i still look some like your effects like after effects right like you're adding like effects like boom but effect is like i affected the situation right Yes This makes me realize once again that English is a terrifying language
Starting point is 00:44:30 I feel bad for anyone trying to learn it All these Little things are so nutso when you think About them like wow we went Out of our way to make this difficult Yeah like there's so many I remember I still remember what word was it my english teacher in like sixth grade made me write this word like for an entire page because i didn't do
Starting point is 00:44:53 it right a few times i think it was a lot and i kept doing like a lot all together and it was supposed to be a space lot like a lot but i did like a lot or a lot i've done that too before though i get it yeah yeah so to this day every time i see a lot i'm like a space lot like it's just she got it though she taught you that for sure she did so i mean did her teaching right i guess yeah scarred in their brains that's how it works scarred in the brain that's a big news story and you know
Starting point is 00:45:32 the elves and Santa with their desserts and drugs and drugs Merry Christmas alright well that's it for us thank you so much for listening and watching. I hope you enjoyed this podcast.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Crandor. Hit them with the socials. We got so many socials. YouTube.com slash Cox. Crandor podcast. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. If you want to see all the animations. We're on Spotify.
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Starting point is 00:46:06 YouTube.com slash Crendor. YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. Facebook.com slash Crendor. Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitter.com Crendor. Twitter. Jesse Cox. Instagram.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Notorious Cox. Instagram. Crendor was taken. I like how neither of us got our things on Instagram. Instagram. Kids beat it to us. Some kid named Crendor beat it. Take that.
Starting point is 00:46:30 And check out my ASMR. YouTube.com says goodnight Crendor. ASMR time. Please like this video. Podcast. Alright, that's it for us. Thank you you so much we'll see you next week
Starting point is 00:46:48 bye everybody have a great holiday season fun time adventure and we'll see y'all next time and as always bye to be continued you

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