Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 270 - Tying the CrenKnot

Episode Date: January 4, 2021

This week we've got a BIG announcement from Crendor. Also dreams decide to give us one last 2020 send off, and Crendor teaches us how to drink wine. Oh, and squirrels are out to get you! Happy 2021!!! :P Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 15% off your first order and free shipping! Visit http://ritual.com/COX to start your Ritual today!

Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies! MeUndies are the undies I have on me, and let me tell you, I want to put them on you. That's creepy, but I said it anyway. Also, today we're brought to you by Ritual. Ritual's out there to get your multivitamin game on. We'll talk about them as well. Now let's jump into this podcast! Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.

This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studios. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's the next Trend Dog in the morning. Wake your ass up, it's the next Red Dog in the morning!

Hello everybody, welcome back to another episode of Gags and Red Dog in the morning! Woo. Woo, hey, hi. Woo. Hey, how's it going? It's the new year. Yeah, hey, I have to say it on here, even though I already said it, congratulations. Hey, thank you, thank you thank you thank you thank you so professional of you thank you yeah are you gonna tell people what happened or you're

just gonna say thank you thank you uh no i uh yeah me and toaster woman are officially married now it's wild uh you children have become adults. We have. We've been together eight years. That's ridiculous. Congratulations. Yeah. So it's, you know, people are like, how's the married life? And I'm like, well, I mean, it feels the same. It's kind of like how, you know, when you turn 30, it's like, they're like, how does it feel being 30 now?

You were 29. You're like, I mean, it feels the same. I'm still me. Yeah. You know, like we've already been living together been living together or like we've been together for eight years so it's like you know it's cool like we're married now it's like awesome but like you know people are like but what changed like i don't know you got a ring on yeah i have this accessory now yeah actually it's kind of i like wearing a ring ring. I didn't know how I'd like it. Are you a ring guy now? Yeah, I think I like it.

And it gives me something to like, like if you're like bored somewhere and you're just sitting there and you kind of like fiddle with it. Are you, can I ask you a question? Are you going down the path of now, next time I see you, you're going to have like eight rings on? Are you going to be that guy soon? Were you going to just all blinged out with rings and bracelets

and stuff? It it's me the ring guy i'm like oh boy here we go uh no that's not gonna be me okay all right but i you know it's just a very simple thing it's uh it's a manly band that's what it is which actually is ironic because they reached out to us through the rooster teeth thing like four days after I bought it. They were like, hey, do you want to be sponsored by Manly Bands? And I was like, I literally just bought a Manly Band. Can I get one for free now if we do that? I don't know.

Hey, I'll sponsor. Did that ever go through? Yeah, are we going to get sponsored by those guys? Because look, I'll take a Manly Band and just say I got married if they'll sponsor us that's true i finally found mrs right it was myself i mean it's a good band it's a manly bane's good band good fit you know i thought i didn't know you meant a brand i thought you meant like i got me a manly band i was like oh boy well it's a manly Bane's, good Bane's, good fit, you know? I thought, I didn't know you meant a brand. I thought you meant like, I got me a manly Bane's. I was like, oh boy.

Well, it's a manly Bane. Not like a... Right, no, no, I'm aware. I just, the fact that you called it manly, I thought was very funny. But then I realized now it's the name of a brand. Yeah, that's the name of the thing. Not actually just like, I got a real manly brand. Yeah, you know. Not actually just like, I got a Romani brand. Yeah.

You know. I like it. I think it might be like slightly too big, but I think it's better than being too small. It's one of those things where like, it's the right size to fit over my knuckle, so it doesn't just fall off, but it's got a little wiggle room there.

People are like, in the summer, your finger expands. And I was like, what? That's what they said. What? Summer ring finger expands. I'm telling you. Are you looking? You're googling this right now, aren't you? Yes.

I'm about to find out that it's real and I'm going to be like, I can't believe this. Fingers are typically bigger in the morning when you are hot or have recently consumed a lot of salt or alcohol. They shrink when you are cold or swimming in cold water. They are bigger in the summer and smaller in the winter. That is ridiculous. The fact that that is true. Ridiculous.

I know that. That's crazy. Now I do, yeah. Yeah. So, like, when I got my my ring size the guy was just like you're a 6.5 and i was like all right and i was like are you sure and he's like i know wait did you go to a place yeah i went to a place they were literally about to close the guy was like getting ready he's taking his mask off and i walked in he put it back on he's like oh what

are you looking by and i'm like i just need a ring size what's that and he put it back on. He's like, oh, what are you looking by? And I'm like, I just need a ring size. What's that? And he's like, oh, we'll do that fast. And he just pulls out a thing and he tests it and he's like, hey, you're like a 6.5. And I was like, are you sure? And he's like, oh, I know. If anything, you know, this, the 2020 was a great excuse to have a wedding

with like nobody there. You really lucked out. You got everything you wanted. We got the introvert wedding. Very nice. We literally, it was like our extreme immediate family, there you really lucked out you got everything you wanted we got the introvert wedding very nice we literally it was like our extreme immediate family like parents knows that i was happy yeah that's great i'm uh i'm so proud that you uh committed to something anything really it's impressive very true i mean i've committed to this podcast that's true that's true but i don't think toast

is paying you to stick around so that's also true yes very true uh and uh you know that's uh that's neat so yeah it's very impressive so So one thing, someone from livestream, one of my viewers named Comrade, he gave me like $100. And he was like, go buy a good wine. So I did. And I bought the Stag's Leap Wine Cellar Cabernet 2017. Are you drinking it right now? Yes. Oh, my God. I'm drinking it right now? Yes. Oh, my God.

I'm drinking it right now. What? All right. You got to describe this wine to me. How much was this wine? It was $58. That's the most expensive one you could find. You were just like, and I'll pocket the other $42.

Well, that was not the most expensive one I could find. But, all right, the reason I got it was I had the, what's it called? It's not the wine app. It's like, what's that one wine thing? Hold on, where's my phone? Where's my phone? Hold on. Epicurious.

It's the Vivino. Okay. Vivino app. Alright, so this app's the Vivino. Vivino app. So this app's actually pretty sweet. So what you do, you got a little camera thing, and you find a wine, and you just hit the picture, and you take a picture of it, and then it pulls up ratings.

So I was taking pictures like fancy wines, mediocre wines, whatever, and this wine You about to make me get this thing. It had a 4.4 out of 5 with over 4900 ratings and it said it was then it gives you all little details like 92 out of 100 wine enthusiast ranks number three and best wines between 40 and 80 dollars right now uh it is a bold uh medium dry wine uh and it's the it's in the top one percent of wines in the world in ranking it says and top two percent of napa valley wines was there nothing more expensive you could check out there probably was but i saw all this and i was like dude i want to try this one and it's got

a deer on it i'm very here's the thing i'm very i'm very easily swayed by like what's on the bottle so yeah i've been using this i mean i found one wine it was like 20 bucks got a buffalo on it well there you go it was really good if i if i had that wine with like a really expensive wine i don't think I'd tell the difference there's some that was upset with I looked at this one wine it had a frog on it 4.1 for $61 I'm not gonna buy a $61 wine with a 4.1 all right it's good to know that animals aren't the only selling point for you let's see what else was there a Oh Thorne Merlot that's one of

my favorites that's a good one. Thorn Merlot from the Prisoner. Prisoner makes really good wines. Prisoner? Yeah, it's called Prisoner. My addiction to alcohol. Prisoner is like, it's a brand. They have like Thorn Merlot.

They have the Prisoner Red Blend. It's really good. They're usually like $30 to $50. So if I'm ever feeling fancy, that's what I go to for a celebratory wine. Speaking of wines that you're like, oh boy, there's a wine

this has to be a near you thing as well. But it's promoted heavily here in LA. It's called 19 Crimes. Oh, I've seen this wine Yes my favorite part is it's Introducing the Snoop Cali Red wine And they have plenty of wines

And varieties to choose from But the only one that matters to me Is the one that has Snoop Dogg's picture On the wine bottle And if you're asking Jesse do you just want to try it Because Snoop Dogg's on it Yes that's it picture on the wine bottle. And if you're asking, Jesse, do you just want to try it because Snoop Dogg's on it? Yes.

That's it. I want to try it because Snoop Dogg's on the wine. Yes, you're right. Honestly, I kind of want to try the Snoop Dogg wine, though. Right? Full, dense, with strong black and blue fruit notes. I'm in. Yeah.

I imagine it's going to be toasted oak. Ties it all together. I'm in. I want it's going to be toasted oak. Ties it all together. I'm in. I want the Snoop wine. Yeah, I think by next week, I'm going to try that Snoop wine. You know what? I'm with you. I'm doing it. Hell yeah.

Let's do it. I think we need to try the Snoop Dogg wine. We got to try the Snoop Dogg wine. Yep. Done. It's happening. It's happening. Things like some people are always like,

you can't really tell the difference of a wine. Well, you can. But it's not like an insane thing. Like if I have a cheap wine, you can usually tell if it's just like grape juice with alcohol in it. Like a lot of the kangaroo wines, like the, what's it called? Yellowtail. Oh, that's uh for moms to get

together on the weekend and like chandler chandler stop swinging on the swing like that you're gonna break out that's all like you know it's like eight bucks if you want to get drunk off grape juice knock yourself out all right like whatever but like when i'm when i'm having wine i want to enjoy it like i don't just want to be like, woo! I drink for the enjoyment of tasting different wines and stuff. Oh, I also learned that 19 crimes has nothing to do with Snoop Dogg being awesome. And everything to do with, apparently, it's what it took. You had to be guilty of at least 19 crimes to be sentenced to live in Australia.

Which is really, that kid, is that true? That's very funny. You had to be forced to live in Australia. Which is really... Is that true? They have to be forced to produce yellowtail wine. That's how it works. The greatest punishment of all. That's a kangaroo with a whip. And he's like... You want that grape juice for the moms?

You think yellowtail is actually... The moms need that grape juice. It's just run by a kangaroo. Kangaroo mob boss. Kangaroo Jack got to still make money, yeah. One movie ain't going to do it. Yeah. Yeah, so I got that line.

Amazing. Pretty good. I mean, I'll give you a little flavor profile right here. Yeah, I'm sure most people just like me are like, alright, sure. I hate you for this. Here's the thing, it's like when people

do the thing where they like swirl and they spit it into a cup, I hate that. Like, just drink it. They're like, oh, but they're gonna get drunk or whatever. Like, who cares? Right. Who cares? Just do it. Just get wasted. You definitely get some, like, vanilla. A little bit of vanilla.

You get, like, a berry. You definitely get some berries in there. Maybe, like, plum. Definitely, like, a darker fruit. Like, a berry fruit. You know what I'm saying? And it's not... Here's the thing.

You don't got too much barrel. Sometimes you get that real barrel in there. There's not too much barrel. There's a hint of barrel. Tiny bit of barrel. I think you're just doing that on purpose. I'm not. You can...

Okay. You are. You're doing... You're over-exaggerating your... I'm not. Well, a tiny bit. You sound like a dog sniffing for food. I learned this from YouTube, because there's, like, some super wine lady.

All right? You, like, you put your nose up to it, right? And you get in there, and you inhale. You smell. Like, you inhale the smell. And as you're smelling, that's when you taste. You take a little bit, and you give it a little... And that helps bring the flavors out.

If you ever saw that video with the guy with the ice cream, you ever see that? He's always like... It's because it's bringing the flavors out. It's just so weird. It's just so weird It's just so weird It works I'm telling you You can do it with Pepsi You can do it with anything

Alright I'm going to do it with my coffee I have right here Do it I do it with coffee Wait do I have to have it in my mouth Yes Oh I drank it And then I did that No no no no No still drank it. And then I did that. No, no, no, no, no.

No, still drank it too fast. I can't do it in my mouth. Why not? It's too weird. I can't do it. It's not weird. It tastes like coffee. You just got to get used to it.

It's like they also say it's got a leather earthy smoke taste. I don't know if I can taste that. I don't taste that. Cherry? I can taste the cherry. Pepper licorice cinnamon? I don't taste that. Cream cheese?

That person's got some weird palate. The rest of these, I don't taste that. Honestly, though, pretty good. Why? I'd hope it is for... Yeah, I would hope so. I guess the average price is $71, it said. Maybe I just got a steal.

Maybe, yeah. Maybe you got like a bad year. Yeah. Nice. I'll take a bad year. Yeah. Nice. I'll take a bad year. Idiots. I have plenty of bad years. Oh, that's what I was going to tell you?

Okay. Moving on from wine. I had a dream. Oh, my God. I had a dream, too. I had several dreams. Oh, my God. Well, I actually had several dreams.

Hit me with your dreams. too i had several dreams oh my god well i actually had several with your dreams i mean like in one night on new year's eve into new york's new year's day i had like multiple messed up dreams but i'm gonna let you go first okay so i woke up and i was like that dream was crazy oh my god and then i was like i gotta write this down i gotta write it down and then part of my brain was like don't even write it down you're gonna remember it you're gonna remember it and i was like no i gotta write it down so i was like whatever so i did it and i woke up later that day didn't even look at my phone and then i pulled it up and i was like what the shit it says tall building house with secret and constant upgrade plus no eggs.

What the hell does that mean? It does sound like the life I live. I live in a tall apartment and constantly try to move into better units within the exact same apartment building. And you ran out of eggs all the time. No eggs. So I specifically, part of the reason I think no eggs was there was we didn't eat eggs from the grocery store so i think my brain was just processing that but the other part i remember there's this really big tall building you know how like in a in like super mario when you got to go

up a really tall uh like chimney thing and you got to bounce between the walls like and get to the top I do know what you mean it was like that so you were wall jumping your way up to go get eggs but I wasn't wall jumping I was somehow just navigating it normally and it was just this tall building and it was a house and I don't remember the secret and I don't

remember the constant upgrades that's I mean that that's why I write down my dreams in very descriptive detail now because before if you remember the one where I was like I'm in a tank and I'm chasing elves and they're afraid of it because it's a tank

and I'm like what the hell am I talking about? Well I think it's more fun my way because then you're just trying to interpret it crazy. I guess you're right. I wrote down a dream that inspired me for when I write a story. Back in August, I had a dream that was giants that migrate yearly, and if you interfere with them, they destroy you and your village. That's neat.

Yeah, that could be a book. That could be a thing in a book. Giant Hunter, starring Mil that could be a book. That could be a thing in a book. Giant Hunter. Starring Mila Jovovich. Right? I mean, I just imagine them, like... That one guy can make it. I just imagine them being their own thing.

And, like, they just migrate. And if you get in their way, they just kill you. Right. I'm just saying it'd be a fun movie made by the guy who makes the Resident Evil movies. That's true, too. Or Michael Bay. Or Michael Bay. Or Michael Bay. Yeah.

Whenever they step, there are explosions. Yeah. Why is everything exploding? They're fire giants. And Michael Bay. And Michael Bay. Right. So, yeah, that was my dream.

So, my dream was, I had two that I wrote down that I vividly like vividly remember, but there's a third one and I could, I think I blocked it out. I couldn't remember. I woke up and could not remember it. Anyway, go to bed, have three dreams. Here's, here's the two that I remember. The first one is I was dead and trapped on Earth being forced to watch everyone I knew, friends, loved ones, make terrible mistakes that were so obviously terrible

and I could do nothing to help them. That's weird. And I just had to sit there dead watching them. That's like going to hell or something. It's like a punishment. It was a terrible dream. I was like screaming at them like, no, what are you doing? Like awful mistakes.

Terrible. What a terrible dream. It's like Davis being like, what if I leave the oven on and go to sleep? Yes, but to the nth degree. And then the other dream I had that I remember is I was in my car and the car in front of me hit a guy on a motorcycle and the motorcycle spun out into my car. And the guy's face was plastered on my driver's side window, staring in at me. And he was like bloody and stuff. And he's like, good. And the car in

front of me starts to pull away and drive away. And I'm like, dude, I'm going to get their license plate. So I pulled my phone to the license plate. And as I turned to take a photo, the side of all my windows are like covered in blood. And I can't get the license plate number. Mostly because I think you can't in dreams see numbers or letters, right? Like you can't read in dreams. I think there's like a big trope is if you try to read a thing, it looks like gobbledygook because your brain, that part of your brain shut off. And so maybe that was my brain preventing me from seeing the license plate numbers.

But when I turned to look, there was splatter all over the window and it was either mud or blood or something, but I couldn't see it. And I was like, dude, they got away. And he's like, you failed me. And he died. And I was like, what?

Why is this on me? And the cops showed up. They're like, you hit this guy. And I was like, no, it was this other me? And the cops showed up. They're like, you hit this guy? And I was like, no. It was this other car. And they're like, sure, son. And they got me. And I was like, no.

Yeah, those are my dreams. And they felt real. And then when I woke up, I was like, oh, my God. That was 2020's one last kick me in the ass. It was like, I'm not done with you yet, cocks. It was, I don't know. I went to bed at a normal time. I think I got maybe six hours of sleep and in that time had three insane dreams.

I mean, yeah. That was, yeah, that was a lot. We have a lot of dreams at night. You just don't remember all of them. That is definitely true. Sometimes I'll have dreams and I'll wake up and be like, what the hell? That was terrible. And then totally forget. Yeah. Or I'll be like,

oh, what a great, what was I thinking about? It just wears so quickly. Your brain's essentially just using your dreams to like, you know, do dream stuff and process information, do all that. So it's like, this is not necessary for me to carry until like the waking world. So it just like

gets rid of all of it. Imagine if you remembered all your dreams as memories. That would be insane. I couldn't even imagine what you would be like. I don't either. Because what would be real? That's when you'd be like what's real, man? What's even real?

Oh my god. That'd be a cool movie the dreamer i have dreams but my dreams are also my reality because there's like time i am the dreamer you can like have a dream and it feels so real when you wake up like it just i don't know like if you dream that like i don't know a penguin like if you dream that, like, I don't know, a penguin, like, punched you in the face and, like, drove your car away, you're going to wake up. You're going to be mad at that penguin. Look, I once dated a girl who had a dream that I was trying to cheat on her with someone else. She was mad at me for three days. And I was like, it was a dream.

That's your subconscious. That's, I didn't do anything. Yeah. I haven't do anything. Yeah. I haven't done anything. That's just you not trusting me, but I've done nothing to earn that. Yeah. I don't know why you're mad. Yeah.

Dreams are powerful, man. Those are some crazy shit. Yeah, man. Not cool. Not cool at all. I will say, speaking of weird trippy stuff, if you want to get into it, I'm about to blow your man. Not cool. Not cool at all. I will say, speaking of weird trippy stuff, if you want to get into it, I'm about to blow your mind. Alright.

There is a Twitter post. I don't know if it's still around. I imagine it would be, but it was either last year or the year before. A guy posted a thing on Twitter and he said, I believe the world ended in 2012. Which, if you're a fan of this podcast, you know we talked about that for a long time Twitter and he said, I believe the world ended in 2012.

Which, if you're a fan of this podcast, you know we talked about that for a long time. The Mayans were going to come back and destroy the world in 2012. We had a whole thing about it. It was very funny. Whatever. If I do say so myself, it was hilarious. But anyway, this guy said the world ended in 2012

because the CERN, like the big particle accelerator thing, when they were looking for the god particle, right? When they turned this thing on, Stephen Hawking, like all these people were like, if this turns on, there's the chance that we could create a black hole and destroy the world. that we could create a black hole and destroy the world. And this guy says, I think, based on the fact that everything's sort of gotten progressively crazier and worse and a little insane around the world, which is subjective, because if you look at stats, statistically, aside from, you know, the aberration of COVID and stuff like that, there's less violence in the world. There's less all these different things. Oh, yeah.

But there's more visual of it, right? Like, we record more of it, but there's less violence in the world. There's less all these different things. Oh, yeah. But there's more visual of it, right? Like, we record more of it, but there's less of it. And because we record more, it just seems like it's happening all the time. But really, statistically, everything's much less. But whatever. Ignoring that. It's guys like, I think the world ended. They created a black hole.

But because we're on the edge of the black hole and time changes and ceases. Like the movie Interstellar, right? Time has different meaning on the edge of a black hole that we're all living in what is basically borrowed time. And that we could be here for centuries, but we're still, there's a black hole that was created and we're all slowly being sucked into it. And we just don't know it. Huh? And he's like, we would never know until it was too late. We were sucked in. That's crazy. I know. I was like, Oh no. Oh no. It's a, I'm not sure who, you definitely, if you're listening, you definitely can Google it. It's a guy who made a bunch of tweets about it. He made like a whole Twitter thread.

It's fascinating. It's a little crazy, but it's also like, that's a good brain teaser because, yeah, there's a possibility. Just like with dreaming. Like, what's real, man? What is reality? And that stuff's always interesting. Yeah. Man.

Are we real? That's what I. Yeah. Man. Are we real? That's what I'm saying. Who knows? I feel real. Well, what is reality? I feel like I could easily be fine with being in a matrix. I've always said that. I don't care.

Yeah. Reality is subjective. I'm doing, like, you know what? This reality ain't so bad. Everything could be a little bit better, but that's how the matrix works. Yeah. Reality is subjective. I'm doing, like, you know what? This reality ain't so bad. Everything could be a little bit better, but that's how the Matrix works. Yeah. Like, if I'm a simulation, I'm real to me. I would just, I'd be the bad guy.

I'd be Cypher, and I'd be like, I know this steak isn't real, but I just don't care. That's how I feel. I'm like, whatever. What is reality? Who cares? Yeah. I mean, honestly, the amount of times you go to that gas station, crazy shit happens. That might just be part of the black hole.

Maybe. That's what I'm saying. Who knows? Yeah. It might be a little like... Everything's getting crazy at that gas station. Maybe that's where the black hole is. Yeah.

The black hole's at that gas station, and it's where the weirdness comes and goes from. Have you seen any crazy stuff there? No, I didn't see any crazy stuff at the gas station. I have lately seen a lot of people. You know how before I was like, man, this part of the city, everyone's wearing masks. It's great. Everything's good. No, we're past that now.

People are officially over it. Everywhere I go now, everyone has masks around their chin and they see you, then they pull it up. I'm just like why bother why bother people are still pretty good about it here granted the california's going insane yes we we were at the point where if i let's say gotten a car wreck and they needed to take me to the hospital they wouldn't have space for me yeah there. There's nowhere they could put me. And people are just like, whatever. I'm fine.

There was a big New Year's Eve party scandal with a bunch of influencers, Instagram people and stuff. And like a dude from Canada, like a Canadian celebrity, celebrity air quotes, came down and they went to different parties. And I think there were like four or five big house parties people went to and just went back and forth to. All I'm saying is that's... You're just asking for it.

Why do that? Why are you throwing parties? Why are you throwing parties? Because they're all young and I get being young I was young You're stupid and an idiot But you're also acting selfish And I don't think I was ever that selfish

But whatever I also didn't like partying There you go Just be like me Don't like partying That's why you're going to make it through any pandemic You'll be fine I'm not going to make it through any pandemic You'll be fine I'm not going to see anybody

There's like weddings I've invited 150 people I don't think I even know 150 people Unless I was dating someone Who had that many people That needed to be there My wedding no doubt would be like She'd have 100 people on her side

And I'd have like 8 on mine I'd be fine with it I'd be like look if you want to come come if you don't whatever i don't care and i just show up to make her family happy my parents would just be like thank god i think you were saying that like eight years ago we started this podcast yeah they'd be like we're so happy you got married. Look, my dad consistently asked me, like, so, how are things? What's going on? I'm like, literally nothing. Like, I'm talking to this person, and I'm talking to this person.

He's like, what's going on with that? I'm like, nothing. It's a pandemic. I was listening to the show. Heard you had talked to a lady at the gas station. They're going anywhere. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, no, it's not going anywhere.

You know, there's more to life than work i'm like then how come every time i see you then you ask me how work's going well that's the other part of life you gotta how's work how's your love life like i am fine i i am doing great trust me when i find someone i'm interested in you'll know i need to find someone who is down for a beach wedding but not like you know like oh we're at the beach and we we're getting married in front of the tide i mean i want my beach wedding i want to i want to rasta priest like hey man today we are gathered here together to get high with this couple. And then I want like a guy like, right? And then it's a party. It's not even like one of those BS weddings.

My wedding outfit is shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and sandals. And she's looking, I don't know, whatever the hell she wants to wear. I don't care. She can wear whatever she wants. And we just show up there. And this guy's like, hey, booty ring on. You know, we do the whole thing,

and then he's like, you may know, kiss the bride. And then, you know, we like, uh, share skewers of meat instead of a cake. That sounds like a party. Dong-de-ding-dong-dong-de-ding-dong. Right? I'm telling you, that would be great. That does sound great. The steel drums, yeah, and we just have a reggae wedding. That sounds great to me.

Yeah, I mean, I can't wait for that wedding. That's what I'm saying. I'll bite your ass and be like, we're having it on the beach. And it's going to be reggae, and everyone there will probably be just high out of their minds. Dong, ding, dong, dong, ding, dong. I was going to mention this earlier. I forgot. just high out of their mind. I was going to mention this earlier. I forgot. I was watching Review Bra his average day 2020.

It's an hour and a half. Oh my God. I haven't seen that. I really should have. I watched today Review Bra review the new Papa John's pizza. Oh, yeah. The stuffed crust.

And I want to say, he's a little sassy now. Something happened to him where he's like, this is an extra epic pizza. And you know why it's epic? Because they call it epic pizza. So it's got to be epic. And you're like, you sassy bastard. Yeah, he's got a little more sarcastic and sassy as he's aged

that's what age does to you it was great he talked about tying a tie I learned how to tie a tie from him he had a big stack of Starbucks water cups like he just has a big stack of Starbucks water cups. Like, he just has a big stack of, like, water cups in his living room. It's weird.

So what about his day? Well, I mean, you kind of see his day. Like, you know, he, like, gets up, brushes his teeth, does his hair. He power washes the pool in the backyard. Uh, he stacks his Starbucks water water cups pies his tie uh he played petris for a bit i think and then he goes to get some food what does that have to do with getting high on the beach though i don't know i just forgot i don't want to bring it up So I mean That's all I got

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So if you think you deserve to know what's in your multivitamin, one more time, go to ritual.com slash cox. All right, Crandor, let's go to choppy covers in the sky. Crandor, how's that traffic out there? Oh, man, it is getting snowy it actually snowed here quite a bit a few times and the snowing all over Well, I guess by you. It's not snowing, but It's actually pretty nice to snow I like to go out in the snow and just walk around especially at night cuz like you look out the sky

And it's like it's weird. it's like the skies lighten up during the night i don't know how to explain it it's kind of like uh i guess this the light reflects off the snow so it makes it brighter so it doesn't feel like night and then you get like the it's kind of like that purplish almost like winter spring and wow you know it's got that winter spring feel which i guess is what they base it off of uh but, yeah, it was kind of quiet and serene. Although I did hear coyotes. That was kind of weird. So I was, like, looking at it.

I was like, this is nice. And then you hear, like, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. And I was like, what the shit? And that was the coyotes. But, man, that's all I got. Thank you. All right. That was kind of the weather, too.

Let's go to weather. Weather. Yeah, I guess that's kind of the weather. It. Let's go to weather. Weather. Yeah, I guess that's kind of the weather. It was snowing. But let's see. There's probably some crazy things someone wants us to do. Weather request. Let's see.

Let's see. I'm just going to quickly scroll down and see if there's any crazy ones. There's accident Maryland some guy actually sent me a thing hold on hold on hold on hold on oh my goodness oh my goodness. Oh, my goodness. All right. Ahwatukee, Arizona? Ahwatukee? A-H-W-A-T-U-K-E-E, Arizona. It would make this person's life. It would make Connor's life.

Whole life. Wait, how do you spell your name? A-H-W-A-T-U-K-E-E, Arizona. Ahwatukee. I typed in Ahwatukee and it says Phoenix. All right. Well, maybe that's part of Phoenix. I don't know.

Is it? Hold on. Ahwatukee, Arizona. There's the Ahwatukee Foothills. It says Ahwatukee, Phoenix. Wait, Ahwatukee Foothills is an urban village of Phoenix, Arizona. The urban village. I'm looking at it right now. It looks like a little development complex.

I don't know. Is it just that's it? It's very specific. I don't know. Yeah, Ahwatukee. I'm looking at it right now. The foothills. Ahwatukee scores well in Study of Nations Prosperity. Is this like the rich Arizona people?

Maybe it is. I actually like that kind of look. It's like a nice, I don't know if I'd want to live there, but it's like a nice vacation area. Like the cactuses and the desert. This is where scorpions show up in your backyard. No, thank you. Oh, yeah. That's why I don't want to live there.

You're just out there with your dog, and the next minute you know that dog has stung to death. No, thank you. That's why I don't want to live there. I just want to visit there. Right. Right. right, of course. Yeah. Although you can live there for $300,000. You can buy a big house.

Yeah, but it's probably got scorpions in the rooms. See, that's what I'm saying. Now you're rethinking everything, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No scorpions, please. I guess Phoenix, Arizona weather then because that's what it puts in. It's 46 degrees in Phoenix

with a 5% chance of rain. Hey, that's higher than a 0% chance. Overnight, 42 degrees. You got a high low of 38. 44% humidity. 30.17 inches of pressure, 10 miles of visibility, winds coming in at 3 miles per hour.

You got a dew point of 26. You got a UV index 0 of 10 and a waning gibbous moon. Looking at the old 10 day. You got 68, 71, 70, 69, 70, 68, 65, 66, 68, 70, 70, 71, 70, 68. So actually pretty nice temperatures. Not too hot, not too cold. Let's check back in six months and see exactly. 125 degrees.

No, no. Over here it's been like 30s. Actually, it hasn't been too bad for like, you know, 30s aren't bad. Once it drops to the 20s, then you getting like oh that starts getting cold then you hit the 10s then you hit the single digits and then here's the thing once it hits that point it doesn't even feel different it just you get cold faster right it's like you just get cold in like one minute instead of four minutes right so just a little uh winter fact throughout there and uh i do like snow i'm a big snow fan i hate like the the aftermath of snow though i like the initial snow and like being in the snow and like the snow's hitting your face and it's like aftermath

of snow what does that mean that's like when it settles in like a day or two and it all becomes slush because they're like cars driving over it and people walking through it like dogs peeing in it and then you walk around it's just like it's just slush instead of actual like fresh snow i will say that the um the uh uh snow that i've seen when i've ever been in chicago even back in the day when i used to date a girl whose family was from Chicago. It's like pink or blue, like whatever they use to melt it. They like colors. No, it looks crazy. Yeah.

He's like pink and blue snow to salt it. It's crazy. It is crazy. And that's the way. All right. Let's go to sports. Sports. Welcome to sports. We've got ourselves NFL playoffs.

That's right. We have reached the NFL playoffs, and we are ready for some big-time football plays. First up, the Jets have fired Adam Gase after being very bad for two years uh well i had the nfl playoff thing here uh nfl here it is all right so today the games happen the vikings beat the lions in a meaningless game the buccaneers beat the falcons the patriots beat the jets the bills crush the dolphins as well as the dolphins playoff hopes the browns beat the Falcons, the Patriots beat the Jets, the Bills crushed the Dolphins, as well as the Dolphins' playoff hopes. The Browns beat the Steelers,

who started a lot of their backups because they didn't care. Yeah, plus the next game they play is Browns versus Steelers again. Yeah. And it'll be in Pittsburgh, so a little better for them. The Giants beat the Cowboys. The Ravens beat the Bengals. The Colts beat the Jaguars. Did Minshew play?

no, which is sad just send them to a different team just let them go Titans beat the Texans the Rams beat the Cardinals the Saints beat the Panthers the Packers crushed the Bears it was fantastic, I loved it the Chargers beat the Chiefs.

The Seahawks beat the 49ers. The Raiders beat the Broncos. And the football team beat the Eagles, which means the Washington football team is in the playoffs. We did it. We did it, everyone. We did it. Yep.

So the playoffs, looking right now. For anybody that's looking for some, you know, if you want to talk to your Uncle Jeff about football because he loves it, you'll now know some playoff stats. The Chiefs and the Packers are the 2-1 seeds. They have the bye week and home field advantage. So any game they play will be at their home field, which is fantastic. Give me some Lambeau Field football in the winter.

Then you've got Bill Saints. saints well i should break it down so you got bills uh will be playing the colts so the bills will be playing in buffalo against the colts the steelers will be playing pittsburgh against the browns and the pitons will be playing tennessee against the ravens in the afc in the nfc the saints will be playing the bears who is in the AFC. In the NFC, the Saints will be playing the Bears, who I don't know how they made the playoffs, but here they are. The Seahawks will be hosting the Rams

and the Washington football team will be hosting Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. So it should be fun. I'm happy because the Bears- bear saints game is like on amazon prime and nickelodeon that's right it's on nickelodeon yep that's right nick is like look we got it anything they they really are and they're gonna have like slime they're gonna like computer

generate on the screen and shit i I'm honestly looking forward to it. Yeah, I will watch the Nickelodeon. Most importantly, I hope that they bring back the SpongeBob halftime show. Oh my God, yeah. They got it. We need that to happen. Packers got to go to the Super Bowl. It's got to be a Packer year.

76ers in basketball are in the top seed in the East. Then you got Pacers, Magic, Cavaliers, Hawks, and Celtics all at four wins. And the rest is kind of some blur. But hey, the Bulls are three and four. That's been fun. They actually won some games. In the West, you got the Clippers, the Suns, the Lakers, five and two, the Jazz four and two,

the Pelicans four and two, and the rest are kind of also just scattered all over. And then the NHL is going to be starting up in, I think, like a week or two. So that's hockey. It's all coming together. It's all coming together, and the baseball is in the offseason. And that's sports.

All right, Gwendo, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day is a big news story. Okay. All right. Aggressive squirrels terrorize New York City residents. Is that woman out of jail? Is she? My new army.

And this is a new story. This is from New Year's Eve. Oh, my God. All right. This is brand new. Residents of a Queens neighborhood are dealing with a squirrely threat. Why do they say it like that? I hate it.

Denizens of the New York City borough Rego Park neighborhood say an aggressive squirrel has jumped on them and bitten them in the past several weeks. Micheline Frederick pointed to a bruise on her wrist where she said the squirrel landed on her and then sank its teeth into her fingers and hand. We're wrestling in the snow and there's blood everywhere and my fingers getting chewed and it won't let go, Frederick said. Eventually, it just stopped and there was a big bloody mess. Oh my god. Fuck, Jesus. A photo Frederick says she took after the attack shows a snowy pathway covered in blood. This was an MMA.

She says, quote, this was an MMA cage match and I lost. Why are the squirrels losing their minds? I don't know. Two other neighborhoods told WCBS the squirrel had jumped on them, seemingly unprovoked. These squirrels are getting aggressively, or wait, these squirrels are aggressively going after people, Vinati Singh said. The city's Department of Health advised the neighbors to hire a licensed trapper,

but the large metal traps have not yet captured any squirrels. The reason for the squirrel or squirrel's aggressive behavior is not clear. Small rodents like squirrels rarely test positive for rabies and are not known to have transmitted it to humans, according to the Center for Disease Control or Prevention. What the hell? There's got to be more. There's got to be more to this story.

Yeah. There's got to be, let's see, squirrels, New York City. That's it for that article. When I Google squirrels, New York City, it just looks like a bunch of happy squirrels. Hold on. Well, you have to do, like, attacking squirrels in New York. That's gang of squirrels terrorizes people in New York City. Squirrel attacks have New Yorkers afraid to go outside after a woman is hospitalized.

Rogue squirrels attacking New Yorkers in Queens. Yep. That's the one. That's the one. Rogue squirrels attacking New Yorkers in Queens. Yep. That's the one. That's the one. Rogue squirrels. That is... People living in Rego Park. Rego Park? I think that's it. Of Queens. Oh my god! What?

So I clicked on the video and it was just a bunch of people being like, oh, squirrel tag, squirrel tag. And at the end of the video, and it was just a bunch of people being like, oh, squirrel tag, squirrel tag. And at the end of the video, it shows a squirrel next to someone's door, and they slightly open the door, and the squirrel comes flying out. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Dude, I wish those squirrels were here.

I'd be filming it for YouTube and banking. These people are missing out. Aggressive squirrels, New York squirrels, squirrels terrorize, cage match. I think that's the one you read. Yeah. To end 2020, squirrels are attacking humans. There you go. Wow.

Everybody's got the same story victims of squirrel attacks have hired trappers to relocate the animals but the time of the report and other squirrels have taken the bait well here's the thing how many squirrel attacks is this because everything that I see is the exact same article where it's just like it basically ran up my leg and I'm like okay

hello squirrel what are you doing and then it bit or scratched me on the neck yeah it's always the same person yeah it's just this one person it's always this Frederick person uh oh no another neighbor Vinati

Singh described the squirrel as so fast that it hung onto her screen door with its claws video shows the squirrels leaping toward yeah hung onto her screen door with its claws. Video shows the squirrels leaping toward... Yeah, that's what you just described. Oh, yeah. And there's another... Oh, wait. Yeah, there's another person in the neighborhood that says...

This other person said she was also attacked by a squirrel. I tried to shake it off. I couldn't. Squirrels have claws clinging onto your winter jacket. There's no way to shake it off. Damn. What is happening? Squirrels have claws. Cling on to your winter jacket. There's no way to shake it off. Damn. What is happening? These squirrels have had enough.

They're done with people. These squirrels are done with people. These squirrels are going to take over the planet. I think they're just going crazy. They feel the energy. They're just going crazy. They feel the energy. Apparently, this person says it's possible that people feeding them bread and old hot dogs for so long have caused the squirrels to become reliant on humans.

So when they see them, they approach them looking for food. But when they don't have food, they now see the humans as being like, oh, well, I can just bite into them. Oh, yeah, that's actually true. I've heard of that with raccoons and stuff. Actually, that happens to a cat. When you think about it. Sometimes you feed a cat, he's happy. Other times, he's hungry, and you're like, you don't got food yet.

And he'll be like, ah, and he'll give you a warning bite. And you're like, get out of here. And then you give him food. Apparently, this happened in 2019 as well. And the statistics say that over the course of a year, there are about 30 squirrel attacks. But during this week in August of 2019, there were 30 in one week. That's a lot of attacks.

Yeah. So I don't know. It might be a yearly thing. It seems like it's a wintery lot of tags. Yeah, so I don't know. It might be a yearly thing. It seems like it's a wintery kind of thing. The squirrels are like, you didn't bring us food today? So be it. Mama mia. Honestly, I like squirrels.

But I don't like aggressive squirrels. Right. There's that squirrel festival. We want to go to the squirrel festival. Yeah. Do you think these squirrels are mad because they just want to go to the festival and they can't? Well, it's winter there and, you know, you have to wear a mask to fly and there are no squirrel size masks. That's true. It's all adding up now.

Yep. It's all adding up. All right. Well, that's it for us. Thanks so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this podcast. Crandor, hit them with the socials. Oh, man. We've got so many socials. We've got YouTube.com slash Cox Crandor podcast. I almost forgot the socials.

We've got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. We've got Twitter.com slash. Well, we don't actually have Cox Crandor Twitter. We've got. We're on spotify itunes uh other podcast sites we're we ourselves are on twitter though twitter.com slash creditor twitter.com suggest cox youtube.com just cox youtube.com just creditor twitch.tv slash just cox twitch.tv slash creditor facebook.com just, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook,

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Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, To be continued. It worked very well. Yeah.