Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 271 - Crendor LOVES Gabby

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

We're back with another episode of Cox n' Crendor and this time there's a naked men swamps, mountains in Canada, and sports on Nickelodeon! 2021 is out of control!!! Go to http://calm.com/cox to get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription! Visit http://joinhoney.com/COX to get Honey for FREE today!

Today's episode is brought to you by Honey. Honey is here to save you some money. Also, we're brought to you by Calm. Calm. It's time to relax. Just... We're going to put your ass to sleep before this podcast starts. Now let's jump into this podcast.

Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Treadmill! Ghost on Treadmill in the morning! In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4 hour recording studio! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's the next Treadmill in the morning!

Ghost on Treador in the morning. You still eating your Popeyes chicken? Oh god I bit into the paper. Well you're just too into it. Louisiana people. Louisiana people. It's not even what the song sounds like. We're just like Louisiana people. That's what I wish it sounded like.

You're right. It'd be better if that was the case. Hey. Hi. Hello. Hello. I didn't expect you'd still be like, I love this Louisiana fast chicken. What'd you get? All right. What's your Popeye order?

What happened? All right. I got a spicy chicken sandwich. Yeah. That's it. Well, why did you? I guess my question is, I feel like why Popeye's Why today is the more important question. Well, normally I don't get Popeye's and I was feeling it today.

So today you just woke up and said, man, I want some Popeye's. Were there Popeye's chicken commercials on Nickelodeon during the game today? Is that why you were like, Popeye's, yeah. You know, there might have been. I don't know. Did you get mass marketed to? I think I did. I've never woken up and been like, you know what?

Today's a Popeyes day. I didn't even wake up and have that. It must have happened at some point, so I think you might be right. Nickelodeon got you. Yeah, you tuned into Nick to watch football, and there you go. Oh, my God. I wish more games were on Nickelodeon got you. Yeah, you tuned into Nick to watch football and there you go. Oh my god. I wish more games were on Nickelodeon. Why? Wait, what do you mean? It's so good.

I don't know what that means. Somewhere there's a kid who's like, but Rugrats! Is Rugrats still on Nick? I don't know. I think it's been 20 years. So, normally they only have like four playoff games. But this year they have six. So Nickelodeon must have been like, yo, let's try to get like the kid demographic in here to like get some more NFL fans that are younger. But I think all it did was bring back people like me and like around our age that are like dude i used to watch nickelodeon

and then probably like stoners and shit uh and they're never left i haven't turned off my tv from nick for 26 years man so they have like an announcer guy like the play-by-play is just the play-by-play then they got nate burleson who's like a former nfl player well then they also have gabby who's like this girl who I think is on like a current Nickelodeon show. What do you mean they have Gabby? Time out! Time out! Time out! You can't be like, today our announcers

are, and then like Q's the first guy who's just like, welcome to the field, everybody! I'm here! And the next guy's like, I got your play-by-play! And then Gabby! I'm just happy to be here! That's what it is. You're joking. It's actually what it is.

That sounds amazing. Yeah. And she's like, I've never been to a football game before. And they're like, well, you're in for a treat today. Yeah. That is actually amazing. I love that. Yeah.

So they're just like, here comes a punt. And she's like, whoa, he's kicking it. It's great. She asked questions, but she's like, what is a punt? They would ask her questions to be like, Gabby, what do you think of the Chicago Bears out there? And she's just like, wow, they look like they're playing good. And then they'd be like, you're wrong. Bears are awful, Gabby.

Gabby's just like, I just want to have a career after this. And they kept doing, like, impressions. Like, she did a Cardi B impression. And then the one kid on the field did, like, an Obama impression. I was like, what is happening? And then they would show, like, slime whenever someone scored a touchdown. Right, because it was Nickelodeon. Yeah, no, I get it.

They had CGI slime go off in the end zone. It was a trip. And they were like, now, Drew Brees and Taysom Hill, it's kind of like Patrick and SpongeBob. And they'd show the comparisons. They kept making all these things. They're like, now, Mitch Trubisky, the Bears quarterback, he got benched earlier in the year. That's kind of like like when you get grounded it's like when you can't go anywhere

you know your parents don't let you have fun and then he got to come back but he only got to be in his backyard I think that is incredible I can't believe I didn't watch any of that I was like I'm not gonna watch a football game on Nickelodeon. Now I'm jealous. Oh, man. And then before the game, they're doing the top 10 Spongebob sports moments of all time, which honestly was better than watching Phil Simms interview Drew Brees on CBS.

That was just like, bye, it's my football. It's like, I don't give a shit, Phil Simms. You're bad. At announcing football. So that already... I think most people would agree with you announcing football. So that already won me over. I think most people would agree with you, though. Most people would agree with you. So it was a trip.

And then, of course, there's the moment where the referees mic picked up a player going, What the fuck? Yep, yep. That's the big takeaway is kids everywhere heard an F-bomb, which is just great. Just great. I never heard any of those as a kid. Yeah. I do remember being a kid and I remember hearing what the hell on the Simpsons. And I remember trying to I was like under a table with a lamp on it trying to plug it in.

And I went, what the hell? And I was like seven. And my mom was like, what did you say? And I was like, oh, no, I heard Bart say it. And then she was just like, it's not a nice thing to say. And I was like, oh. Yeah, my parents were the same way. They were like, don't swear.

It's not nice. Meanwhile, they're hypocrites. Oh, yeah. My parents are hypocritical as shit. I would swear and they'd be like, what'd you say? There's no reason to talk like that. Meanwhile, they're like, look at this asshole. What a fucking idiot.

Where'd you hear that language from? Well, get out of the fucking world. What do you mean? That's just unfair. Yeah. I think that's just what happens. You get older. You start being like, what do you mean? That's just unfair. Yeah. I think that's just what happens when you get older. You start being like, wait a second. They say the words you're not supposed to say.

Wait a minute. Everything they tried to teach me and instill in me was all hypocritical. They just wanted me to be a good person. Well, I will not be a good person. I will not. Yeah, the NFL on Nickelodeon. I would like at least one Nickelodeon game a year. Maybe two.

Whoever finished in last place got to play on Nickelodeon. The worst teams going into the next year. It'd be great. Yeah, and then the losing team gets slimed. At the end, they all get slimed. Yeah. You still suck slime. They already have the Nickelodeon valuable player.

Apparently people are trying to vote, like, the losing team player to win it. And they should just slime them. That would be great. And then they kept referencing shows. They're like, this is like catching a pass over the middle. It's kind of like when Tommy from Rugrats ran out of that crib at one time. They just keep making these references. That's great. He went down under just like Rocco from Rocco's Modern Life.

I loved it. It's a touchdown, Rocco. Honestly, actually better than the ESPN announcers. Like, not even joking. I think that is amazing. You know what's funny? During certain times of the year, sports events are almost like that anyway. Right?

Like, I always found it funny that there was a crossover, and it was always like, this touchdown brought to you by Star Wars. You're like, wait a minute, what? Yeah. It's usually if it's on a station that has co-ownership of other things. Like ESPN Disney. They're like, make sure to check out Disney Plus like Lamar Jackson does on his free days. Cool.

Can't wait. My favorite thing is the Mandalorian. You're like, what does this have to do with the game? Now I feel the urge to watch Disney Plus and get Popeyes. So it's been a good time just watching football. And I get to watch Packers next week. They got the bye week this week, so it's great. Not for Nickelodeon, though.

Yeah, they don't get to play on Nickelodeon, so that's the downside. Of course. Yeah, I don't get to play on Nickelodeon, so that's the downside. Of course. Yeah, I mean, sounds like a downside. And some of the shows, like they're having commercials for Nickelodeon. I just, you feel like a dinosaur. They're like, and here's like Wacky McGee's Fun Fest only at 7 p.m. on Nick. And I'm like, what the shit is going on here? Where's SpongeBob? Where's Rocket Power? at 7pm on Nick and I'm like what the shit is going on here where's Spongebob

where's Rocket Power I think that a lot of those shows have become kind of like web series you know what I mean where it's the same kind of ideas like my name's Jimmy John I don't know why Jimmy John's is the guy

my name's Jimmy John and this is my TV show but it's you know it's like his YouTube channel. Except now they just do it on TV. I was in a, I was at some convention somewhere. And in the bar they put on a TV channel. And the TV channel was literally just playing YouTube clips. It was like a show. But they were like, this week's best gaming clips.

And it was just, I was like, I know that guy. I week's best gaming clips and it was just i was like i know that guy i know that guy i know that guy what is going on right now why am i watching people like couldn't they just go to youtube and watch this yeah it's a show just it was probably like a lot of kids are just watching their phones and stuff. Well, can I tell you, at the end, I realized why I knew it was a terrible idea. Because at the end, a logo appeared for Maker Studios. And I was like, ah, that's why it's trash. That's a stamp of bad approval.

I was like, ah, that's why it was a terrible idea. They were like, all right, we need an idea. Someone pitch me ideas. Okay, what do we got? What if we just show clips of the YouTubers? Yeah, yeah, all right. That's good. That's good.

We can fill 30 minutes with that. Terrible. Yeah, here's the thing. Spongebob is still, like, he's carrying that network on his back. He's still on. They're so porous. Like, they even ask the kids, like, what are your favorite shows? And even the, like, 15-year-old kids on the thing are just like, SpongeBob and, like, some other cartoon.

I'm like, why don't they just do more cartoons? Why do we need web series? Like, I guess they had some of those, like, Kenan and Kel and all that. But, like, cartoons were, like, the main course those were just the side the side dishes you know yeah they brought back all that uh i know my friend lisa foils is she was on the original cast oh yeah and so now she's like back in it as like it's crazy i think it was so long ago that she was originally like a young kid cast member and now she's back to play the mom roles oh yeah like holy crap what happened to time they're like what are you welcome back bob like oh barf barf barf

that's how you know it it's it's hitting when it's like you become the parents like it wasn't even that long ago i was i was the kid and now they're just like, okay, mom. I'm like, all right, mom. All you kids want to watch Spongebob, Rocket Power. We watch like Big Larry's Web Adventure now. It's like, I don't want anyone watching Big Larry. What's weird is Nick shows, from what I remember, just like on the timeline, it's sort of when you think about Disney, like Disney kid shows, you can kind of pinpoint exactly what era it was. If it was early 2000s, late 2000s, like based on what shows were on Disney, right, for kids.

Because everyone sort of knows those shows. But Nick, it's kind of like some shows last so long. They're like, yeah, yeah, I used to watch SpongeBob. I couldn't tell you. If we were just talking through text messages and you said, I used to watch Spongebob. I couldn't tell you how old of a person you were. Yeah, that's true.

I couldn't tell you how old you were as a person. You could be 32. You could be 16. I would never be able to tell. Yeah, it's the same with being like, oh man, I loved watching Tom Brady on the Patriots. You'd be like, 2001 or last year.

Yeah, you have no idea of knowing. You couldn't tell. Yeah, Nickelodeon, it's weird because it has shows that will appear for a year then vanish. And everyone forgets about those. And then it'll have shows that last for entire lifetimes. And everyone can relate to well the thing is like too with spongebob it's kind of like i feel like spongebob's gone through what the simpsons went through it was like amazing at the start and then it was okay and now they're just kind of just doing it to do it because it's popular but like they're like you know when they did top 10 sports spongebob moments they were all the old episodes because those are the good ones

in fact i was going back and watching uh oldgebob moments, they were all the old episodes because those are the good ones. In fact, I was going back and watching Old Simpsons, and they were really funny. There's a sweet spot. There's definitely a sweet spot where the first two seasons are like, eh, whatever. They're kind of funny. But that season three kind of from that on for a little bit is gold.

Everything about it is gold. It's hilarious. And then at a certain point, it just is unfunny again yeah it's uh they definitely hit that point where they had like good writers get everything they just they're on fire yeah it was like season three to like nine or something they're just yeah every episode was great yeah i loved uh they had one where they go to the box factory they're just like this is the box factory and everyone else gets to go to like the fireworks factory the slide factory and like all these fun things and he's like oh and all the kids all the school kids have to go to the box factory yeah yeah yeah and then they're like uh this is a box and uh

we put things like nuts and bolts into them. The one kid's like, did you ever put candy in the box? And he's like, no. I go to Simpsons quote of the day on Twitter. And that's how I like remember old episodes. So if I recommend any Twitters to follow Simpsons quote of the day. Quote of the day. I'm going there right now. What's the quote of the day quote of the day I'm going there right now what's the quote of the day the quote of the day is he's not the official talent crier police do something

well I'd like to ma'am but he's too damn good let him march boys let the man march I remember that episode. That's the one with Rod and Todd and the Flanders. And they're just like playing a board game. And he's like, I get to clothe the leper. And he's like, aw, lucky. Oh, God. Yeah, I can't look at this thing. This is making me remember that I don't have enough free time to watch all these old Simpsons episodes.

Yeah. So, yeah, those are all good. That's just that. Then there's... Oh, I also wanted to bring up the Snoop Dogg wine. Yes, I forgot. I've officially become old. I...

Did you get any? I also forgot. Okay, good. But did you spectacularly forget? I went to the grocery store for the purpose of getting Snoop Dogg wine and deodorant. I was like, I need wine. That is some sort of white trash. I need wine and deodorant.

I need Snoop Dogg. I need stoop dog wine in the order. So I specifically went to the grocery store to get that and I left with none of it. My mom messaged me, hey, could you pick us up some orange jello? And I was like, what? Orange jello? Alright, whatever.

And so as I got to the grocery store, she's like, never mind, we don't need it. I was like, okay. So then I went to the grocery store and I think because I started thinking about the orange Jell-O I didn't need in my mind, everything on my mental list, I was like, well, I don't need it. So I proceeded to go around the grocery store, buy everything but deodorant and wine. So I got back home, put everything away. and then, you know, went about my day. Woke up this morning and was like, I don't have any deodorant.

I was like, ah, son of a. I still haven't gone to the grocery store. Oh, my God. I'm a mess. I don't even know. Yeah, so I totally forgot. I've done that before. That's where you go for the one thing and you get everything but that thing.

I can't believe I was the only thing I was done that before. That's where you go for the one thing and you get everything but that thing. I can't believe I was the only thing I was going there for. I got one of those little baskets because I was like, well, you know, I just want the wine and the deodorant. I'll be fine. And then I just filled that basket with everything. I even got little salami

wrapped cheese things. I was like, these will be good. Didn't even, don't know why I got them. They looked good at the time. And I was like, ah, they sold me. I guess I'll buy those. See what we got. We got a baby Yoda.

We got paper clips, salami and cheese. Something's missing. Yeah, I'm like, what could it be? Yeah, I just went around and got some more sparkling water. I did a whole thing. And I realized, huh, I think I forgot something. As I looked around my apartment, I'm like, what did I forget? I forgot something.

Something's wrong here. Oof, so dumb. Well's wrong here. Oof. So dumb. Well, we always got next week. You're right. You're right about that. Can I tell you something? I feel, you know those movies where there's like a lady and like the dude in the movie is like crazy.

But every time she tries to tell her friends, the guy's like, I don't know what she's talking about. Obviously, there's a mistake. And they're like, Susie, are you losing your mind? She's like, no. I'm telling you the truth. Oh, yeah. He's insane. Right?

Yeah. That's my life right now. I'm Susie. I, let me tell you some crazy. So, my apartment has been kind of like a mess, right? But I love my apartment complex. I think it's great. I, you know, in the area, I can't find any better apartment that like is as cost effective

and big. Like the ones that open up nearby are brand new, but they're so tiny and they want ludicrous sums of money for them. And I'm like, nah, nah, I'm not doing that. So I, back in November, messaged my apartment. I was like, look, my lease is up in January. I would love to get into a new place that doesn't have a leaky roof. If you could make that happen, that'd be great.

And they're like, actually, there's one right down the hall from you. And I was like, oh my God, that's the best move I could possibly do. That's like not even a move. It's so easy. And they're like, yeah, yeah, it's right down the hall. It looks out onto the water. I was like, oh, my God, this is great. This is so good.

Like, excellent, excellent. So we'll set you up with that. What you can do is when your lease is up, it will come available on the 11th. And your lease is up the 6th. Don't worry about it. You can stay there. And on the 11th, we'll get you in. I'm like, great. So that was November.

And I kept messaging them and messaging them and messaging them. Like, hey, any updates? No updates. Like, the people in the office left for a month and a half. No one messaged me back. No, I called, got nothing. And I was furious. I kept calling, like, hello, I'm just, you know, I want to.

And then my roof leaked again. I was like, come on, y'all. This is ridiculous. Help me out here. So then I get a call from a different guy who works in the leasing office. And he's like, well, okay. So we saw here that you wanted to get into 30 – well, I'm not going to say the apartment number. Right.

We saw here you wanted to get into the apartment. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I want to get in the apartment. That would be great. My lease is up in the apartment. That would be great. My lease is up in five days. And they're like, yeah, so crazy story. We gave the apartment to someone else. I'm like, what?

Like, yeah, you know, we had a note here saying that you wanted it, but someone came in and gave us a $500 deposit and snatched it up off the market. And I'm like, what? I mean, there's a 48-hour hold, so if they don't move in, we can get you on the list for that. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to move from this apartment. I'm going to leave. And I'm going to leave on the 31st, no matter what. And they're like, maybe you'll have to pay for an extra month

because you didn't give us a 60-day notice. And I was like, bull poopy. And I sent them every email and was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not doing this to me. And they were like, all right, we'll find you a place. We'll find you a place.

I'm like, okay, let me know what's going on. Two days go by and I call again. I'm like, I've heard nothing. They're like, well, the apartment you wanted is still, they still hold on it, but it may come open. We just don't know yet. And I'm like, what do you, I thought it was 48 hours. It's been two days.

Like, well, you know, it's a 72 hour hold. I'm like, what do you mean? So I'm like, oh my God. Okay. And then they're like, but there is another apartment in a previous building. And I was like, okay. And it's pretty much the exact same apartment. I was like, okay. And it's pretty

much the exact same apartment. I was like, fine, great. Love it. I would love to be in that apartment. And they're like, all right. So what we need you to do is deliver a deposit for a hold on the apartment and we can get you in there. And I was like, excellent, great. I'm going to go get my checkbook right now. I go get my checkbook, write a check, walk it down, hand it to a person, get a phone call. Jesse, hey, we were going to call you, but you dropped off your check. Today someone already put a hold on that apartment. I'm like, what? What?

Like, yeah, basically between the time, according to them, between the time that I went to go write the check and the time that I delivered the check, which was maybe 25 minutes, maybe, someone came and put a hold on the apartment. And I was like, there's no way. You can't just offer it to me and then just give it to someone else. And they're like, well, you know, the management staff had someone here, and they said they liked it. And even though they couldn't see it, they wanted to get it right away. And the manager said that someone else was interested, and so they snatched it up immediately. And I was like, that someone else was me! I've been in this apartment complex for years!

For years! And it's so disrespectful! And they're like, well, there's really nothing we can do about it. I was like, are you kidding me? Like, yeah, well, the management team, which, by the way, the new managers do suck. They're terrible. But anyway, they're just like, the management team, you know, they wanted to get this place booked and someone was interested right now. So I was like, are you effing kidding me right now?

Are you? I cannot believe this. And they were like, well, so well so i mean here's the deal uh we do have another place i was like oh my god oh my god like so we have another place it's in another one of the buildings and uh it's a corner unit so it is a little bit different from apartments you're used to it's a wider floor plan. But we can let you in there to see it. You can go in and look. And I was like, all right. And they're like, I know you were looking for a smaller apartment.

So it's a little bit smaller. And I was like, fine, whatever. And they're like, okay, so we'll leave it open. You can go check it out. I'm like, okay. So I go check it out. And I walk in. And it is like, it looked like the very first apartment I had.

All the apartments here roughly look the same. This one looked like whoever lived in it before had lived in there for 10 years because everything in there was old. Like the thermostat looked like it was from 1994. The, like the counter, the marble counter of the tabletop was cracked, like had a giant crack in it. And I was like, oh hell no, they're not about to put me in the like bootleg. The marble counter of the tabletop was cracked. It had a giant crack in it. And I was like, oh, hell no. They're not about to put me in the bootleg, barely functioning corner unit. I was like, no.

So I called up and was like, look, the windows are nice. The view is great. It's everything I'm looking for except the counter is broken. There's a weird stain on this wall. Unless people come in here and fix all this, I wouldn't even consider this. And so they're like, all right, well, what we'll do is we'll have our guys look at it and we'll, um, you know, we'll, we'll work on it and then you can walk through it again. Like, okay, sounds good. So then I get an email, I don't know, maybe an hour ago from the first leasing agent I

talked to. And he's like, so, Hey, uh, I saw a note here that you were interested in this department I just mentioned. But it looks like maybe this original unit that you wanted might be available and we'll know in the next 24 hours. And I was like, what? I express no interest in the new one. All I said is that it was a mess and I would only move it if they fixed stuff.

And he's like, well, you know, there may be other options available too. I'm like, how are there suddenly so many options? How is it the first one's probably kind of available if it's been days and days and days? And he's like, well, I actually the first one's not available.

I'm just saying it's possible that it could become available. We just don't know yet. And I'm like, just give me firm answers. Just someone tell me something that I can use because I'm going to it's possible that it could become available We just don't know yet And I'm like, just give me firm answers Just someone tell me something that I can use Because I'm going to lose my mind It feels like I'm just being messed with And I'm like, I just Tell me if you have a place for me or not

Because I can go to a different apartment complex Easy, not even fussed But you gotta tell me Oh my god, I've never I don't know what's going on It's never been like this ever. And I feel like I'm being played with. And I'm going crazy.

And I. Today literally. I woke up at 10 a.m. To go apartment looking like around the area. And I've been dealing with all this stuff since then. And I don't know. I'm going to say at 3 o'clock I got back. From dealing with all these phone calls

and talking to people and stuff, and I just sat on my couch and just collapsed. I was like, I can't do this anymore. I honestly was like, maybe having a leaking roof isn't so bad. Maybe I just stay in a leaking roof apartment. Maybe that's – I was like, I just can't. I just can't deal with this anymore. I feel like that's what they want. They're like, then he'll just deal with it. I'm like, maybe it's not so bad.

Maybe... And I was like, oh no, they are. You pay an extra $15 a month and we include the Nickelodeon slime leaking into your apartment for free. I was so stressed out out I couldn't believe it I was so mad and I Actually I feel bad because

The receptionist I kept calling her to find Like more information and Every time she told me something new and I'd be like so upset And I'd just be like look I know it's I know it's not your fault I'm sorry for venting to you But like this is The way your management is treating me Is so disrespectful

I can't even stress to you But, like, this is – the way your management is treating me is so disrespectful. I was like, I can't even stress to you. I have lived in this apartment complex for years and, like, never have had an issue. And now in the span of, like, I don't know, a week, everyone has treated me like crap. And I have no idea why. It is so disrespectful. She's like, I'm going to try and help you find a place. And I was like, yeah, I get it. It's like, I'm going to try and help you find a place. And I was like, yeah, I get it.

It's not you. But if I ever see anyone from, like today, when I was going around looking at this new apartment, I saw the leasing agent and he like gave me a nod. And I was like, cold, dead edge stare.

He was like showing someone around. I didn't want to be that person was like, don't move here. This place sucks. But I was ready. I was like, gave him a dead eyed stare stare i think that's why he called me he was like just want to see what's going on i was like dude if you were alone i

would have given you i would have i would have given it to you i was so mad well i think the lesson is when you go to the grocery store write it down and remember to look at it. You're right. You're absolutely right. There's a lesson. The moral of the story. All right. Well, here's something I need. Calm.

You know, one of the most powerful ways to improve your overall health and happiness is to get a good night's sleep. Something that I should really be doing. But if your daily routine has changed, it can be harder to fall asleep or to stay asleep. Sleep, you know, we all love it. We all probably want more of it. But rather than getting a solid night's rest, we often find ourselves like on Reddit. Let's be real. That's where I am most of the time.

Or reading news when we should be powering down for the night. 2020 was a lot. And 2021 so far is a lot. And I feel like with all the anxiety and things we invest our time in, we really should be investing our time in things that keep us calm and things that can sort of help us relax. And that is why calm is the app that I use. I've been using it for over a year now. I don't even know how long I've been using it,

but I use it every day. I love my daily meditation. It helps me get through stuff. I love her voice. I love all of it It's amazing It helps you ease stress And get some good night's sleep Sometimes I put it on

When you first load it up There is just ambient noise And one night I just let that play It destroyed my battery Because there's like an image in the background. Destroyed my battery, but it doesn't matter. I loved it. I didn't put on any stories or music or whatever.

I just let it go. And because it didn't have a time limit, it just went all night. And I loved it. It got my butt to sleep. Woke up in the morning with the same sound. That's what you need. Yeah. When you relieve anxiety and improve your sleep, you feel better.

That's just a fact. You feel better in every part of your life. Calm has a whole library of programs designed for healthy sleep, like Soundscapes, Guided Meditation, over 100 sleep stories narrated by amazing talent. They recently added Laura Dern to the list of the incredible people who are on there. You need to check it out. It's amazing. Over 85 million people from around the world

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Also today we're brought to you by Honey. These days, everyone's shopping online. That's just the way we do it now. My mom keeps asking me, like, pick me something in the grocery store. I'm like, okay, what? She's like, never mind, bought it on the internet. I'm like, alright. And that's where Honey comes in. It is a free browser extension that

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So they know we sent you, once more, J-O-I-N-H-O-N-E, just like you imagined it spelled,.com slash cox. All right, Grendel, let's go to the topic of this guy The Crandor Oh boy we got some traffic Up here but the biggest Traffic is the Cox and Crandor Reviews let me read to you A review someone wrote on iTunes That I think describes this podcast

Extremely well Oh where'd it go? There it is. They said, So good for absolutely no reason. I love these men. Genuinely so entertaining, and I really couldn't even give you a good reason.

It just works. And honestly, I like that. Back to you. Thanks, Grendor. Also, I like that as well. Thank you. Thank you for sending us. Here, I like that as well. Thank you. Thank you for sending us.

Here's the thing. We'd love it if when you all can be seeing the wild again, if we can ever do another live show, that'd be lovely. That would be great. We got to do one. Yeah. Honestly, we had a good idea. We could have had our Ghostbusters sanitization packs

and just sprayed everyone down probably would have been a great yeah i mean here's the thing we might do that again if we if we have to go to a live show i might bring sanitation pack and spray everyone just cause yeah get sanitized yeah it could be yeah no matter what what the scenario is yeah it doesn't matter i'm just gonna sanitize people just because. I'm going to invest in some sort of backpack spray thing. I'm going to spray sanitizer on you and it's going to ruin your shirt

probably, but it'll be worth it. It'll be clean. Yeah, if you're in the splash zone, we'll have to set up a splash zone in the front row like a Gallagher show. I brought this watermelon. I'm going to smash it. I love it.

Reading that again, it kind of feels like we're the Apple Jacks of podcasts. Why do you like this show? I don't know. Just do. But it doesn't taste like apples. It doesn't feel like comedy. It just is. It doesn't feel like comedy. It doesn't feel like comedy it doesn't feel like comedy

none of what they're saying is actually funny why are you laughing i don't know i can't stop that's the traffic please please said help i can't stop laughing uh let's go to weather. Crandor, how's the weather out there? Weather. What was that? I sound like a banshee. Like, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Weather. Weather. Um, all right. All right. Let's see. Let's see. Uh, did we get any recommendations in the old weather center? You know we did.

You know we did. Yes, I know we did. It's just me saying that as I attempt to navigate to the previous thing to see a weather recommendation, which is right here on the Cox and Crandor Podcast YouTube channel where you can subscribe, like, comment, your weather recommendations. Weather requests for my hometown of Lacombe, Alberta,

home of the world's largest fishing lure. Yeah, that sounds great. Lacombe, Alberta, Canada. Click. Click, click. All right. We are in Lacombe, Albertata canada this feels like a woppy woppy woppy activated 14 degrees fahrenheit partly cloudy skies low Low 14 degrees Fahrenheit. Winds light and variable. 6%. Southwest 4 mile per hour winds.

Humidity 82%. UV index 0. Moonrise 621 AM. Moonset 214 PM. Monday 36 degrees Fahrenheit. Partly cloudy skies. Tuesday 37 degrees Fahrenheit, partly cloudy skies. Tuesday, 37 degrees Fahrenheit, mostly cloudy. Wednesday, 32 degrees Fahrenheit, AM snow showers.

Thursday, 30 degrees sunny. Friday, 31, mostly cloudy. Saturday, 31, mostly cloudy. Sunday, 31, partly cloudy. Monday, 33, mostly cloudy. Tuesday, mostly cloudy. Saturday, 31, mostly cloudy. Sunday, 31, partly cloudy. Monday, 33, mostly cloudy. Tuesday, partly cloudy. Wednesday, mostly cloudy. Tuesday, cloudy, cloudy, cloudy.

Cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, cloudy. I'm glad he got to finish cloudy at least. He has too many clouds. It overloaded him. I went to go look up Lacombe. The website is very well put together. They got video of kids hopscotching. They're like, come up Lacombe. The website is very well put together. They got video of kids hopscotching. They're like, come to Lacombe.

And then after a bunch of kids, the giant fishing lore. Oh, my God. This is like, I feel like I'm in a whole new world. There's like Edmonton and then Calgary. And then this is right between it. But this is north of Red Deer. I don't think I've ever seen a place called Red Deer. It seemed like a Montana thing

if it had to be anywhere. Yeah. Then there's Rocky Mountain House. They're not even by the Rocky Mountains. I think they're probably at the end of it. I would assume, right? What? No. That's like...

Or wait. Oh, wait. I guess... Actually, yeah. Never mind. would assume right well no that's like or wait oh wait i guess actually yeah never mind it is on the border of it wow the rocky mountains go all the way up there yeah dude oh my god the american education system failed me again i know that's rocky mountains go up the whole area there when i hear rocky mountains your brain's just like colorado yeah sure that's that's just what it's always been i didn't realize yeah this is crazy yeah they go like all the way up i wonder all the big feet live up here right right right of course yeah yeah it is very close to Red Deer and Black Falls and Sylvan Lake, but the actual town itself is pretty small. But it does, it reminds me of one of those old Midwest towns

where they still have, like, the general store. And even their website has that feeling of like, welcome home. It does. Oh, my God. I'm just looking at place name. There's many berries, eagle butt, elk water. There's not a place named Eagle, but that's not true. No, there isn't.

It's west of Maple Creek. You can't just say that. We're on the map. We're on the map of Eagle Butt. It's west of Elk Water. Alright, go to Medicine Hat. What the? You're just making stuff up. Oh, I see Medicine Hat, actually. You're just making this up. Oh, my God. Alright, then you got Bull's Head.

Alright, you're gonna keep going. That's southwest. It's Bull's Head. You'll see Eagle Butt. That's south-west. Go south-east. You'll see Eagle Butt. That's Eagle Butte. Eagle Butt. Get rid of the E. Boom. Who am I?

Who am I? I'm not kidding anyone. Everyone who lives there calls it Eagle Butt. Also, I don't think anyone actually lives there. There is one road. All right. We need to move on. Oh, yeah. That's the weather. All right. Go need to move on. Oh, yeah.

That's the weather. All right, Quentin, what's going on, sports? Sports. Oh, man, so many sports, so little time. NFL playoffs have happened this weekend. We had the Bills beat the Colts, the Rams beat the Seahawks, the Buccaneers beat the football team. The Ravens beat the Titans. The Saints beat the Bears.

And the Steelers-Browns are going to be playing in like five minutes. Hey! So, yeah. But a bunch of the Browns players had COVID. Now their coach has it. So, he's not even, their coach isn't even there. But it is the Steelers. So, who knows

what will happen. Then, that means next week's games, we've got the Packers taking on the Rams in Lambeau Field. I think that's a good matchup for the Packers, mainly because Jared Goff's gum, his thumb, is broken, and he's going to have

to play in the cold and the snow, and then they had a bunch of other injuries. I think it's a good matchup. Then the Buccaneers will play the Saints. That'll be a good game. The Ravens will either play Buffalo or the Chiefs, and then the Browns will either play, I think, the Chiefs. Actually, I think that's the only team they can play. They play the Chiefs. Actually, I think that's the only team they could play.

They'd play the Chiefs. It could be Bill's Steelers next week. That'd be a crazy game. Could be Bill's Browns. Let's be real. Steelers. Steelers are fingers crossed. We'll see.

Here's the thing. It's seeded. The Browns are one of the lower seeds. If they win, they would play the Chiefs, which is very bad for them because the Chiefs are good. And then the Bills play the Ravens. It's then. Over in basketball, the teams are playing. I watched the Bulls lose by three points.

But, hey, last year they got blown out by like 20 points every game. Now they got a coach that actually knows how to coach. Yeah, it's not as bad. Yeah, now they're actually in the game. So that's just fun. 76ers, Celtics, Pacers, Magic, Bucs all at the top. On the other side, you got the Suns, Lakers, Clippers, Jazz all at the top. And then hockey is going to be starting up very soon.

In fact, I think they start on Wednesday. So if you like hockey, bing, bang, bang. And that's the sports. All right, Crandor. What's our big news story of the day? Naked fugitive rescued from crocodile-infested mangroves by fishermen. Okay. The suspected armed robber was found sitting on a tree branch on the outskirts of Darwin, Australia.

He'd been lost for four days. We're already starting off good. All right. All right. Two fishermen have rescued a naked fugitive who they found sitting on a tree branch in Australian crocodile habitat. Cam Faust said wednesday he and fellow recreational fisher kev joiner heard luke voskrasinski 40 yell for help on sundays they set crab traps for their dinghy in mangroves on the outskirts of the northern city of darwin faust said voskrasinski

who was covered in mud cuts and, and insect bites, had explained that he had been lost for four days, survived by eating snails, and had used his clothes for bits and pieces over the way. What does that mean? I don't... He's talking about wiping his butt? Is that what he's talking about? He's gotta be.

Right? Yeah. For bits and pieces? That sounds like he's talking about wiping his butt gotta be. Right? Yeah. For bits and pieces? That sounds like he's talking about wiping his butt. They said, It did make sense to us, Foss said, referring to the explanation for his nudity. He had a nest made up of the tree, and he was only laying a meter,

39 inches above the water where the crocs in the water said he'd done well to survive. Joyner said the friends hesitated before bringing Voskremski on board. Once once they seen how bad he was how many cuts they had all over him and he was dehydrated pretty weak we thought we better get him to the boat joiner said there's already some australians being like he is not doing the most correct we thought he'd just have a big night out after New Year's, got lost, and done himself a mischief in the bush. He added, Foss said he stripped to his underwear and handed Voskrensky his shorts and a beer as the trio made their way back to Darwin.

He looked like he needed a beer, although he was in a bad way. An ambulance was waiting at Darwin Boat Ramp when they arrived. Voskrensky was taken to Darwin Hospital and placed under police guard. They gave him two beers. He was okay. That's not a bee.

Give him two beers, then. This is a bee. Cook it into his vines. He had been free on bail after being charged with armed robbery, multiple aggravated assaults, deprivation of liberty and stealing. Alright, this looks straight out like a Discovery Channel show.

It does! Wow! That guy really does look like naked and afraid. He does. Look at him. He's up in the tree. I mean, when you got gators Coming after your ass I get it

I get it That's true Oh my god That's so funny How's that I can't Alright well That's it for us

Thank you so much For tuning in However you're Listening or watching This podcast But if you want more Crandor Hit him with the socials Thank you so much for tuning in, however you're listening or watching this podcast. But if you want more Crandor, hit them with the socials. We've got socials. We've got Cox and Crandor podcast on YouTube.

YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. Check it out. We've also got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. That's where all the animations are. The funny ha-hee-hoo-hoo ha-hee-ha-ha animations. That's how everybody laughs when they watch them. Ha-hee-hoo-hoo-ha-ha. Spotify, iTunes.

Give us a thumbs up and a positive review. It may be read off on a traffic segment. Who knows? Who knows? Also, follow our own things. We're on Twitter.com slash Jessica Cox. Twitter.com slash Crandor. Twitch.tv slash Jessica Cox. Twitch.tv slash jessicox twitter.com slash crendor twitch.tv slash jessicox twitch.tv slash crendor youtube.com slash jessicox

youtube.com slash crendor facebook.com slash jessicox facebook.com slash crendor instagram.com slash notoriouscox instagram.com slash crendor was taken a like comment subscribe review thumbs up beep bop bop bop bop bop and the browns are up 14 nothing

oh boy sounds great up. Beep bop bop bop bop bop. And the Browns are up 14-0. Oh boy. Sounds great. They just started too. Anyway, that's it for us. Thanks so much. See y'all next weekend as always. To be continued..