Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 275 - The Hot Dog Machine

Episode Date: February 8, 2021

The boys are back and this time Jesse has beef with algorithms. Luckily Crendor has the solution - hot dog machines! Also Cosmo has some more great tips and Crendor is turning into Jesse. All this and so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://calm.com/cox to get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription! Visit http://joinhoney.com/cox to get Honey for FREE.

Today's episode is brought to you by Honey. Honey is here to save you money online. Also, we're brought to you by Calm. Calm is here to mail you out and set your day right. Let's jump into this podcast! Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dom. This is Trend Dom in the morning. In the morning! Oh, what the hell? What was that?

That was... No. No. No. That was just my feelings for the day yeah you were like yeah yeah no i get it i get it let me tell you about my day oh my god your day today yeah tell me please please last night before going to bed uh i was kind of feeling like a headache coming on and i was like hey you know it's kind of like, it's not too bad.

I'll probably just sleep it off. Should have took it in Advil. Taken, took it, it's all the same. Woke up about four and a half, five hours later, and it was like migraine city. And I was like, ah! And so I went and I drank my yogurt, because you got to get something in your stomach. Took my Advil, played there. It was like kind of helped.

Then I took a Tylenol. And then it finally went away. But like then by then, it's like, well, this is normally when I get up. So then I stayed up. Oh, no. You're having a Jesse day. Oh, no. Oh, yeah.

Then it was just the post migraine. You ever get that? I don't know if I ever I assume I've had a migraine, I guess, because I don't know how other people's bodies ache. Right. You wouldn't know if you had a migraine. Describe. I mean, like I when I get head pressure of any sort, it's like on my temples right above my eyes. I mean, that can just be a headache. It's like, is it throbbing? Like someone's... Oh, yeah.

It's like you can feel the blood moving through your body. Okay. You might be having a migraine. Where it's like... Like that. Yeah, it's like... And if you move, it's like... Like moving just hurts and like looking around and light and everything.

Oh, yeah. But it's... Yeah, so... That sucks. Once I woke up with that, it was like was like it was bad but i've had worse so i was like right away i'm like let's start the start the meds get this thing out of here before we get to like full-blown like overboard uh so i did that and then i took like a hot shower blast my head then i took my uh got my cup of coffee because caffeine usually helps sure and then uh

you know then you hit post migraine which is like the headaches gone but your brain's still like oh holy shit and you're just kind of dizzy and lightheaded and you're kind of like fatigued like oh my god i just went through that and then it just fades away so now i've like i've hit the point i don't know that i've ever had that where i've been fatigued because of my headache oh my god maybe i've never had a migraine well been fatigued because of my headache. Oh, my God. Maybe I've never had a migraine. Well, some people get it differently. Some people just, like, I've had headaches, and then you'd get rid of the headache. But, like, the migraine is like an experience.

And some people get them, like, all the time. Yeah, I don't. If I stare at a computer monitor for a while, I'll get, like, headaches. But I don't think those are migraines. No. I'll just be like, oh, I need to get away from this computer yeah no that's different migraine is just which is why i've i'll usually back in my teen years i would get a migraine maybe like once every month or two and it was usually from those old assass CT monitors. And then I stopped looking at those because we got good monitors that weren't big-ass glass screens. Sure.

And then I'll usually get a migraine from one of four things. There's oversleeping can trigger it. Not all the time, but sometimes. Sometimes wine can trigger it. Sometimes dehydration can trigger it. The tannins, gotcha. The tannins. And sometimes just stress.

Stress can trigger it. And normally people know their triggers. There was one person, they were like, I forgot who said it. They were just like, every time I have Cheez-Its, I get a migraine. What? Wait, what? Certain foods can trigger migraines for people. That's a hell of an advertiser.

Cheez-Its. It'll make your head hurt. I mean, you know, I can eat Cheez-Its. Well, I can handle Cheez-Its. Yeah. Maybe. But it's not fun. So I usually get a migraine every, like, I don't know, maybe like four or five months now.

But when I do, I'm like, I know how to to handle it but it's not fun until it you know you gotta deal with it and then you're like all right finally now i can be normal again sure that was uh that was my start to the day and then i just kind of did whatever that um that's an awful start to a day especially a week right like that sucks that's no good yeah it's no good and it's this some people they get like migraines all the time there's people like oh yeah i get migraines like every week and i'm like oh my god that's got to be awful so i think a lot of people take meds for it just to stop them from even happening and stuff because i remember my one teacher in high school she said she got them almost every day i was like i don't i don't understand how you can do that i can barely handle it once every couple months i'd have to see a

doctor right like you couldn't oh yeah i i i don't know what would if i had them every day and a doctor was like i'm sorry we can't help you i would be like someone just bashed my head in there's no reason to keep going i've had them bad enough where like if it was the medieval ages and i didn't have drugs, I would just bash my head against a rock. You'd be like the guy who was like, screw me head so the blood can let out. You'd be like that guy. That probably would have been me.

They'd find your skeleton. You'd have, like, 18 holes in your head where people would, like, blood let you. Like, we release pressure in his brain by drilling into his head. That would be you. you'd be that guy it probably would be me yeah and then uh it was coming down from the migraine i was like all right you know pain's gone it's a little woozy and then i saw you tweeting your analytic stuff so i joined in thank you for that by the way yeah i uh i sometimes wake up, will look at Twitter, will recognize that I should say something. But I got nothing to say.

I don't have any funny jokes to say. I don't have any witty hot takes. I just sometimes don't care about what's happening on the internet or in the outside world or whatever. I'm like, I got my own shit to do today. or whatever. I'm like, I got my own shit to do today. But I also know from talking with agencies and talking with all sorts of people that if I ever want to make a dime doing my job, I have to still have analytical information for people to look at, which requires tweeting at least once a day. And so some days I'm just like, I got nothing. I have literally nothing to say.

And sometimes I'll wake up in the morning. I have like eight tweets ready to go. Like, oh, this is funny. And you guys should watch this. And this is cool. And oh my God, did you see that show? And some days, like today, I woke up. I got a bunch of stuff done in the morning.

I went and like got errands done. I came home. I started like packing things and putting things away. And I was like, ooh, I should probably tweet a thing. I literally have nothing to say. I haven't looked at anyone's tweets. I haven't followed any trends. I just don't care sometimes.

And I've said this before, and I'll say it again. Some days I'm like, if I didn't have to do right in order for an agent somewhere to try and sell me so someone will pay me for something i wouldn't and most likely would not be on twitter that's just the truth yeah i wouldn't either or i'd be following like my own stuff my own stuff would be like sports and like you know like uh animal crossing it's like that type of thing not like gamers don't you hate how this thing is happening i don't care yeah i uh saw a thing today where they were like i guess warner brothers finally Brothers finally got the patent for their nemesis system for their, uh, uh, I was not to say total war, but that's not true. Shadow of war, whatever that is.

The Lord of the Rings games, right? Yeah. The nemesis system that's in those games, they got their patent for it finally, which means, you know, now no one else can use it unless they pay big bucks. And it's just like that. First off, of course, that's dumb. And everyone knows that's dumb. And about a million and a half people had hot takes on it today.

And I was like, that's the big news. What could I possibly add to that? The only thing I could add is that people want to hear me say, boy, that's dumb. But everyone else said it. I would not be adding to the conversation. I'd just be repeating an echo chamber's worth of, boy, that's dumb. But everyone else said it. I would not be adding to the conversation. I'd just be repeating an echo chamber's worth of boy that's dumb. So why should I feel obligated to tweet a thing?

It's like people I know like big streamers and YouTubers I see like responding to each other like every tweet they do they reply to their friends tweets and shit because you know it's for algorithm purposes. Absolutely. It's just, it's too much.

You know, we've been like, I've done this for 12 years now. Like you hit a point. You're just like, I don't care. That's something I've never understood. I don't know that I'll ever understand it,

but I do it anyway. Like I will say happy birthday to a person on Twitter because I'll feel bad not doing it there, when I have their phone number and early in their day, definitely already texted them happy birthday. But because it's like, oh, you're doing it publicly

and the fans that are like connected, you know what I'm saying? Like, Jesse didn't wish him a happy birthday. That kind of stuff, it wears, like it weighs on you and you have you think about that when really i i would never do that i would never if i was dating someone i wouldn't just be like yo girl what's up on twitter i'd be like yo girl what's up on my phone it doesn't

make any sense but people do it all the time it's a big cycle and it's just like you it's like the uh you know you scratch your back i'll scratch your whatever you know it's all the clout they want the clout and here's the thing i don't care if i like a tweet i'll be like a nice tweet all right that's how you know but like i don't i'm not actually looking like whoa what did the big streamer guys say on twitter today like i don't care it just upsets me that it feels like you have to like a person's tweet so that they will potentially like a tweet of yours in the future.

And it's just a cycle of like... It's basically sub for sub. I hate it. I hate it. But here's the real tweet I gotta ask you about. Oh boy. Yeah. Sam Strippin. Oh, boy. Yeah. All right. Sam Strippen and Dodger. All right.

Good friends. Sam tweeted, date night homemade pizza with Dex bonus. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Yes. Go on. No, please go on. He said, date night homemade pizza with Dex bonus.

But who did it better? I don't think I need to point out who made what. You can go look this up on Sam's Twitter. It's just at Strippin. You can see February 3rd. He's got a pepperoni pizza. I take it he made that one and then Dodger made the

other one. It's got arugula, olives, some onion, red pepper. That's definitely a Dodger pizza. Yeah. A lot of people were just like hey you know that was good good job and i was like i'm gonna give this like a real critique all right nobody else is doing it so i was like first up the pepperoni it's overcooked all right it's overcooked meanwhile i think my reply was like man that looks you both make me so jealous it looks so good and you're like and now to destroy

you all right yes what else did you say the the the dodger one actually i thought that looked pretty good now the problem with it's got olives on it i'm not an olive guy too salty yeah but the arugula with the olives so she had like some sort of like uh i thought no no she's got like she's got prosciutto looks like looks like, or some sort of hay. It's like a fatty meat. Yes, I mean, I think without the olives, it's a good pizza. I gave it an 8.1. Without the olives, it's not creative, though. You could just go to any sort of pizza place and get the arugula prosciutto pizza.

That's a standard fancy boy pizza. I don't think so. I mean, that's a standard fancy boy pizza. I don't think so. I mean, like, that's a standard fancy boy pizza is what it is. I don't think so. Standard fancy boy pizza. I mean, I feel like most people aren't getting fancy boy pizzas. You're right. You're right, most people.

But if you live in, like, a big city and you no longer wish to eat whatever the cardboard is that comes from, like, a pizza hut or a doctor's, although if they want to sponsor this show, we will take that money and boy great pizzas i love them but i mean if you're going like a place that does a hand tossed uh like 8 000 degree brick oven kind of like a pizza right but blaze blaze is like a quick blaze is a quick, it's like the Chipotle of pizzas. Yeah, but it's a nice in-between. You don't get the, it's not like a bleh pizza, like cardboard, but it tastes like real ingredients. You still get some stuff. Sure, sure, sure.

It's fancy. But you can do arugula and prosciutto there, can't you? Probably. I always get arugula, and I get the barbecue chicken. Oh? And you get a little arugula on top it's good i like it but all right here's the thing yeah i don't i don't like olives well i mean that's that's a personal taste then exactly so that's my personal rating question black olives green olives or both uh black olives too salty green olives, or both? Black olives, too salty. Green olives, I don't remember what they taste like, but I think I liked them more.

Probably. Black olives are usually from a can and not nearly as good as sort of a green or a purpley looking olive. Yeah. I like olive oil. I mean, what fool doesn't? It is the best. Now, I'm waiting for someone in chat, listening in chat. Hey, live viewers.

I've already said that in YouTube videos. I'm like, comment in chat, and I'm like, ah, geez. Now, okay, let's go to the Sam one. Okay. All right. So, Sam also putting prosciutto on there, and then he's got onion pepperoni cheese sauce. All right. So Sam also putting prosciutto on there. And then he's got onion pepperoni cheese sauce. All right. So I think prosciutto pepperoni, you get a little too meat heavy there, but I'll allow it.

All right. It's not like he's a meat guy. That seems like a Sam thing. Like Sam is a meat guy. Yeah. Now I see. Now, if you look at the middle of that pizza, middle of the pizza looks fine. Yeah. It looks perfectly good, but when you get to the outside,

it's burned, especially that right side. Look at that pepperoni. It's fucking burned. It's crisp. I mean, first off, this is very true, but also I think it's relative to what was actually put on the pizza. Right? If you look at Dodger's pizza, for example, the peppers and the different types of, I don't want to say wet ingredients.

They're not wet, but there's moisture on that pizza. Versus Sam's, which he has cheese. He has a lot of cheese, which is easy to burn. Right. And then he has meats, which are easier to burn. And under Dodger's veggies, she has her meats hidden, which they will burn less, right? I think that's how cooking works.

I'm pretty sure. So you can see that most of the burn around Sam's. I can't believe this is what we're actually doing right now. You can see most of the burn around Sam's pizza is from the cheese. If you were to take some of that cheese away, his crust would not be bad. He's got a little brown in one area, but it wouldn't look bad. In fact, dare I say it, I was going to say before you brought up the way it kind of burnt looked. The way it kind of burnt looked? Jesus Christ.

The way it kind of burnt looked, yes. I was going to say that one of my favorite parts is their crust looked delicious. It looked like a homemade crust, and I love those because it has that like, oh, yeah. It's sort of thin. Oh, yeah. The Dodger, yeah, it's sort of thin. Oh, yeah. The Dodger pizza crust, it looks very good. That's probably like the most appetizing thing on it.

That's a very good crust. But Sam's, yeah, it's just there's too much overflow of cheese and it's burned cheese, which some people might like, but it's not my thing. And that pepperoni, that right pepperoni, it's just, you may as well throw it in the fireplace. That thing's gone. I mean, maybe he likes it like that. Also, that says less about the pizza and more about the oven they used. That's probably one of those crazy English ovens or whatever,

like cooking up the old fish and chips, and then you put in the pizza. It's not fish and chips. Or order, right? Or the order they use the oven. Oh, yeah, that's true, too. Because what if Dodger went first, and then Sam put his in, and because the oven was already hot, if they cooked it at the same time,

his would have burned? That's true. What if you put them both in? Well, what if someone took the top rack, someone took the bottom? That's true. What if you put them both in? What if someone took the top rack, someone took the bottom? That's another equally valid point. Yep. You're talking to somebody who had a grilled

cheese competition with Clint Hackleman Mindflame multiple times. I've been in the food battles before. You have to display it well. I've seen people's clothes blow right off after you served them the food. It was crazy. Exactly.

Now, I did make that video where I made a pizza, and it actually, it was too doughy. So my experimental pizza, but that was also like seven, eight years ago. I've vastly improved since then. Well, can I tell you that two things, and it's time now. One, in our new office that we have, there is a kitchen that is great in there that I intend to do some sort of cooking thing from. But then, to double up this new apartment that I'm moving into, while smaller, has a kitchen that seems really well equipped for filming.

It isn't just like, you know how my current kitchen is like a room and it's all in the corners and you can't really film anything because all the counters are on the wall, right? Yeah. This one has sort of like an area where you can film right into the kitchen and there's like a counter and stuff. It's very nice. It's a smaller... I've been telling you I was going to get this smaller apartment. Smaller apartment, but the kitchen area is very nice. And I'm really excited about it.

So, yeah. If we need to make cooking competitions, I think we can do this. I think we can do this I for one Am down to cook Weird things especially If it's you and I trying to cook From the World of Warcraft cookbook Oh yeah no doubt

I forgot that was a thing we were supposed to do Oh yeah I want to do that That's my life goal that's why I wanted to get in a kitchen So I can like you know start cooking more Instead of having just You know my current kitchen is like It's alright goal that's why i wanted to get in a kitchen so i can like you know start cooking more instead of having just a you know my current kitchen is like uh it's all right it's all right yeah well it's uh here's the thing all right if you're if you're gonna go big in the kitchen war battle you gotta you gotta go big or go home and if you you go home, you're in your kitchen.

I guess my question is is there a way to go big with home cooking but not have a million? I'm trying to get rid of stuff, so I don't want to be that person who's like, I have 85 pots.

What is the quintessential kitchen things i need right obviously a spatula obviously some sort of frying pan and or skillet uh one pot with which to boil water and or soups and or stews um i have a uh a hot pot thing. What was that called? My brain just died. A hot pot. Well, there's like an actual hot pot. Not that.

You know, like the quick cooker thing. The quick cooker. A crock pot? It is a crock pot, but it's called something else. It's a slow cooker and a fast cooker. It's a pressure cooker, but it has a special name. A pressure cooker. Yes, but also a special name.

You know what? I shouldn't have anything in my house. Oh, my God. My toaster decided to break. And I was like, well, do I really need a toaster? And then today I woke up and was like, man, I want toast. And I was like, well, do I really need a toaster? And then today I woke up and was like, man, I want toast. And I was like, son of a... So I got to go buy a toaster.

But I'm like, do I get a nice toaster? Or just a toaster that can toast two pieces of bread? You know what I mean? Like, I don't know enough about good kitchening to... I'm used to, like, The Midwest version of a kitchen You know what I mean Where it's like look If it still makes coffee it works

If it's still toast it works Is there a better version of a toaster Like if I get it that's the toaster I'll have for life Like that kind of thing Right I don't know You want the quality over anything else You'll pay more for a good quality

Because it's going to last longer Sure, sure, sure But you can also pay more for trash Like there's I saw the other day that there is a Let me see if I can find this thing It's like the future of toasting Have you seen this?

Yeah, here it is I can't figure out why I would need this But but part of me is also kind of like, what if? Look at this thing. It looks like it has an iPad built into it. What the shit? That's what I'm saying. This toaster. So if you go to, what is the name?

What is this thing? Revcook.com. Revolution Cooking is the name of this. this thing? Revcook.com. Revolution Cooking is the name of this. I keep seeing ads for it. And I was like, what could this possibly be? It is just a toaster. Like, for bread, it's got two slots. And it literally is like, on the touch screen, press what? If you're doing an English muffin or toast or a bagel or waffles.

And then it's like, what settings do you, I just, I feel like this can't, like, this is what I'm saying. This seems like overkill. I don't want something like this. Like, this is too much. You just want, like, the target $20. You push it down. down and not even that like I'm fine like this thing by the way if people are wondering they're not going to go look at this you're just wondering it's $299 this thing yeah it's crazy it's the price of like a console from

back in the day yeah like crazy but I would like you know, I don't want like a cheap crappy one because the one I have upstairs is, I've had it for, I don't know, 10 years maybe. But it's plastic and jank and it's finally broken. And I'm like, you know what? I want to step it up. I want to have a little class in my kitchen. Right? Because it was a white toaster. And after 10 years, it kind of like, it's kind of looking dingy. You know what I mean?

It's no longer white. It is like this weird tan. Oh, yeah. So, like, a stainless steel one or something, you know, like something that's like a good quality toaster, and I'll spend like the 50 bucks for it, right? Maybe that's too low. I don't know what a good

See, this is where I'm at in my life. I'm like, what is a good quality toaster? These are things that I should have thought about at 30, and here I am pushing my way towards 40 like, I guess I could use a good toaster. But I also don't want – I don't want to have like a toaster that's eight slots. You know how there's those big toasters? I don't want that. a toaster that's eight slots. You know how there's those big toasters? I don't want that. Yeah, you don't need that.

I'm only focused on minimalism. The less, the better. And the problem is, every time I see a good thing, it's like, well, you know, it's got a hot dog slot in it. I guess that's not a good thing. You can make hot dogs. Make a hot dog in it. Hold on.

Does that exist? Is that a toaster with hot dog? Get out of town. It does. No way. No way. Nostalgia? Pop up two hot dog and bun toaster with mini togs.

Oh my god, it is. And it's got good reviews. What are the reviews for this thing? Oh my god, I love this. This hot dog toaster is worth every penny. Like the other reviewers said, when you get it, put it on 5 and run it through one cycle without any dogs or buns in it to burn it out, then it'll be ready for use. I think it helps flatten the buns out a bit so they rest against the heating surface.

Also, I like to run it through a cycle with the dogs and buns, then turn the dogs and buns over and run it again. Helps toast the buns evenly and gets the dogs a bit warmer. The dogs are much tastier when toasted than microwaved or boiled. Cleanup is easy, although it can be a bit of a challenge to wipe down the surface that toasts the buns. I know this thing looks gimmicky, but it really is worth it

if you enjoy a good hot dog. I'm not even joking. 8,378 reviews, four and a half stars. Am I about to spend $19 on this thing? I don't need this. I don't need this. I don't need this. This is like a one time yeah like

this it only it only does hot dogs and hot dog buns i would have to love hot dogs and hot dog buns or make a video out of it oh that could be justified oh damn this job damn this job it's keeping me it's keeping me on job. It's keeping me on Twitter. It's keeping me ordering hot dog bun machines. They also have another one called the Deluxe Grilled Cheese Machine, and it makes two grilled cheese sandwiches. Couldn't you just do that? Here's the crazy thing.

702 reviews, four and a half stars. I can't believe this. They know how to make good posters for things that aren't just posters. The Nostalgia Company is killing it right now. Yeah, this is crazy. Wow. You know what? I feel like I knew this existed, but I didn't actually know this existed

right I felt like it had yeah but now that I see it it's got like a retro red oh I hate this oh I hate this nostalgia company they've got a bunch of shit oh Oh my god, they... Crandor. Oh no. Oh no. They got a Taco Tuesday kit. Oh no. They do have a Taco Tuesday set! Cran-Bot, you were messing around! It's a Taco Tuesday set. I'm honestly like, what if though?

What if I bought that? This is like the shit they'd sell on qvc it very much is i gotta get the hot dog maker oh my god speaking of uh qvc i turned it on the other day just to see what's happening and this one woman was talking like it's like for a makeup thing and they're bringing on some like hollywood girl and she's like wow your makeup line is so good and like you're wearing it now and like wow how old are you like uh like 55 and you look so young and she's like i'm actually 45 but and she was like oh my god i'm sorry and she like kept apologizing for like five minutes i uh i'll never forget one time when i was a teacher and we were at we were at a conference and i was uh in a group with uh you know just a bunch of random teachers yeah and this woman who was with us um she looked

old and when we were going around uh saying how old we we were and how many years we've taught, she said, like, I'm 38. And I, like, audibly said no. And I had to, like, really quickly cover it and be like, you don't look 38. But it was really because she looked like she was like 53. She didn't. I was like, no. I just couldn't stop myself. I was like, no.

I still think about how embarrassing that was. I'm like oh Jesse I couldn't get it It just came out It was so shocking Did they take it hard Or was it just like I don't

I don't know how they took it Which is why it's still They were very polite It was a bunch of teachers so everyone was being polite And so to this day it still bugs me because I was like, oh, no. I probably made her feel horrible. But I tried to be like, oh, you don't look that old. You know?

Like, I tried to cut. But oh, my gosh. That's one of the scars that will stay with me for a while. I'm like, ah, yes. That was embarrassing. Well, I mean, at this point, we've tried to sell you all sorts of things, so we might as well get to the real selling of things. Did you know that if you were going to try and shop online like me

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And I'll be like, oh, the slash Cox. Oh, 15% off. But there might be something else out there. I actually used Honey today. I forgot. What did you get? So as you would imagine, I bought a thing for my heartburn pillow. Right?

I don't know what that means. We'll talk about that after this ad. All right, guys, go on. But it'll hurt my neck because it inclines you a bit so you don't have gird coming up. And so I was like, all right, I just got to get the pillow thing with it. And everyone's like, dude, this pillow is great. And then it wraps around.

I don't know. It's crazy. So I was like, all right, I'll buy it. But I was like, it's got all these codes. And I kept trying them and they didn't work. And I was like, I could use honey. And then I did. And it got me free shipping.

And I was like, nice. And then out that is uh that's how honey works it can get you anything from Crandor's free shipping to 15 20 who knows how much percent off of an order it will find the best deal out there for you and it only takes a few seconds and it will do all the work and yeah um I've used Honey a bunch. I continue to use it. It is on my Chrome and I am super happy with it. Well, if you want to be one of the 17 million members who have saved over $2 billion, all you got to do right now is just go to joinhoney.com slash Cox.

You don't have to do a whole bunch of work to get it. Literally takes seconds to install. joinhoney.com slash cox. Also, today we're brought to you by Calm. One of the best ways to improve your health, mental and physical, over this time that we are still stuck at home. Look, we're almost through, gang. Hang in there.

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Go to calm, C-A-L-M, dot com, C-O-M, slash cox. Calm. Dot com slash cox. As you rocketed away on your alien spaceship there. All right, Grendel, let's go to Chopped Carpets of the Sky with Grendo. How's that traffic out there? Man, today's traffic is, you know, it's pretty standard traffic day. But watch out.

It's getting icy. It's slipping and sliding all over still. It's gotten, you know, it was icy last week. It's icier even this week. Everything's dropping to like five degrees outside, at least over here and on the east coast and all that so uh you know if you're driving don't go slipping and sliding stay straight and uh two hands on the wheel and uh was it 10 and 10 and 2 is that the thing is that they say I'm busy making your alien spaceship noises. All right. Yeah, 10 and 2 probably. I mean, what happens if you drive like 3 and 9?

Instant death. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't try that one. Well, try it and see how weird it feels. Then try it back. But our lawyers say we're not responsible for any accidents caused by 3 and 9 touches. You've got to go back to 10 and 12 in the proper way and is properly and by the United States Driving Association of America World Federation back to you

Thanks, Grendor. What a great new spaceship you have And now let's go to the weather as a weather out there whether it's cold outside Someone's got a weather request hometown of Zaragoza in Aragon Spain Zaragoza Zaragoza and Aragon Spain interesting facts about the city has the oldest historic quarter in the country and the northern wait northest located Arabic castle in the world. Things invented by people of Aragon. The mop, the pressure cooker,

the disposable hypodermic syringe, and the first electronic alarm clock. Interesting. Zaragoza does strike me as being old, because it sounds like the name of a demon, right? Zaragoza. You definitely fought this guy

in Final Fantasy. Yeah, yeah. Zaragoza. Fighting Gandalf the Grey. Zaragoza. Oh, wow. It is... Yeah, okay. It's west of Barcelona, northeast of Madrid, and kind of like right in the mountains there it looks like.

Beautiful city. Oh, my goodness. You know what? I've always wanted to go to Spain. So, like, this is just making me wish I could travel. But, you know, whatever. Wait, I don't want to. They got Zaragoza.

So, there's like Zaragoza. There's Zaragoza, Zaragoza. There's also Zaragoza. There's Zaragoza, Zaragoza. There's a bunch of Zaragozas. Well, there's Zaragoza, Zaragoza. There's also Zaragoza. There's Zaragoza, Zaragoza. There's a bunch of Zaragozas. Well, there's Zaragoza, Spain. I guess that's the one. They said in Aragon, which makes me think of Aragorn, Lord of the Rings.

Zaragoza is the capital of northeastern Spain's Aragon region. Oh, okay. That makes sense. All right. We're back on track. Well, hey, it's actually that's not too bad weather-wise. You got

54 degrees Fahrenheit with a slight chance of precipitation. You got some winds 15 to 25 miles an hour, 60% humidity. Sunrise, 808 AM. Sunset, 627 PM. That's not bad, 60% humidity. Sunrise, 8.08 a.m. Sunset, 6.27 p.m.

That's not bad, UV index, 2.10. Monday, 62 degrees Fahrenheit. Tuesday, 56 with some p.m. showers. Wednesday, 57. You got some partly cloudy wind. Thursday, 65, partly cloudy. Friday, 61 a.m. showers. Saturday, 61, mostly sunny.

57, partly cloudy on Sunday. Shower. Saturday, 61. Mostly sunny. 57. Partly cloudy on Sunday. And the rest is kind of similar, but it usually changes anyway. Seven days is usually most accurate. Yo, this is like some of my favorite weather. I love when it's like 60 degrees-ish. Yeah, you're selling me on this. Yeah, I'm looking at this city, too.

As you're describing it to me, I'm looking at the city just like, oh, I'm looking at this city, too. As you're describing it to me, I'm looking at the city just like, oh, I want to go. Meanwhile, here's like snow plows going outside and shit. They're like, it is 2000 years of history. I'm looking at like ancient shit. Just like, man, all L.A. has is like 2000 years of smog. LA has is like 2,000 years of smog. All Chicago has is like 2,000 feet of snow

and 9 degrees. And we're like, man, what's it going to be tomorrow in Chicago? Oh, 8. But then next week, once this week's done, we go back up to like the 30s. So that's going to be like a heat wave. Yeah, you're going to be like,

I can't go outside again. I go out and I breathe in the 30s. So that's going to be like a heat wave. Yeah, you're going to be like, I can't go outside again. I mean, I go out and I breathe in the like ice air. It's actually rejuvenating. I can see you being one of those guys in a few years that's like, I jump in the cold lake.

It rejuvenates my bones. It takes the pain away. Yeah, you jump in and then afterwards you like sniff a baby's head. Yeah, you jump in, then afterwards you, like, sniff a baby's head. Yeah, that new baby smell. That's, uh, that's like some Illuminati shit. That is.

Have you ever seen old men be like, That new baby smell. It's because it's weird. Like, an alien knows the smell of a new baby old people apparently i guess like maybe if you've had so many babies you're just like hey here's my next kid and they smell like but i mean as far as i'm aware neither of us have children so we wouldn't know we wouldn't know what a new baby smells like although it could just be baby powder the scent of baby powder like that's probably what it is let's be real that's like back in like the 50s they probably just sprayed baby powder all over the place it was

nostalgic you know throw the talcum on that kid that'll soak up harming your lungs. That shit's great. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, that's the weather. All right. Let's talk sports. Sports. Hey, guess what? Today's Saturday because tomorrow's the Super Bowl, so we're doing this the day before.

The game I cared so little about, I forgot it was this week until today. Oh, yeah. That's, man. I mean, that's two years in a row. I was like, man, Packers going to the Super Bowl. This will be great. And then I'm like, I don't give a shit. They lost.

So that's why people are like, dude, you got the Bucs or the Chiefs? I'm like, I don't care. I don't care, man. but if I had to pick one, I guess the Chiefs if Tom Brady loses. So yeah, that's the Super Bowl will be happening. Commercials will probably be fun. Who's the halftime? Halftime Super Bowl.

It's, oh, it's the weekend. And I expect it to be utterly insane. I think The Weeknd is, like, one of those artistic geniuses who is also a crazy person. And I'm totally down to see what it looks like. Uh, it could be great fun. Weeknd's got pretty good, pretty good music.

He's got that Blinded by the Lights song, but then, like, they play it so much, I'm tired of it. He's got a lot of good music, but that song, for me, all I can remember or think about is that video of the dad and those sons dancing. I didn't see that. Do you know what I'm talking about? The TikTok of the dad and the sons dancing?

No. Well, that's... Well, it's funny is what it is. It sounds like it would be funny if I witnessed that video. It is very funny. Okay, well, moving on. Moving on, we had basketball. The Knicks beat the Blazers.

The Kings beat the Nuggets. The Bulls beat the Magic. The Rockets and the Spurs are battling it out. Bucks beat the Cavs. Raptors are beating the, no, the Hawks are beating the Raptors. 76ers beat the Nets. The Thunder beat the T-Wolves. And then there's some other games going on.

Looking at the standings, we got 76ers still at the top. Then the Bucks, then the Nets, then the Celtics, then the Pacers, then the Knicks, then the Hawks, Raptors, Cavs, Hornets, all pretty much the same with the Bulls right behind them. So the East kind of sucks, but they all suck in moderation. And then the Western Conference, you got the Jazz, 18-5. Wow, I didn't know they were that good. Lakers, 17-6.

Clippers, 17-7. So the L.A. team's up top, too. And then you got the Suns, the Spurs, the Nuggets, the Warriors, the Trailblazers all. 12 wins and around 10 losses. So kind of the same, but better records over in the West. And that's the basketball. And we'll do a quick little hockey check here.

Get that? The check? Yeah, no. Wordplay? Yeah, I got it. Got it. Got it. Central, lightning up at the top at 15 points.

Panthers, Blue Jackets, Hurricane, Blackhawks, and Stars. All actually pretty close. That's a really close division. Everyone's like a couple points off from each other. And you got the East, the Bruins at the top at 18, then the Flyers at 16, the Capitals at 15, and then everyone else kind of sucks. West division, you got the Avalanche Blues tied at 18, then the Flyers at 16, the Capitals at 15, and then everyone else kind of sucks. West Division, you got the Avalanche Blues tied at 15, Golden Knights at 13,

but they've only played 8 games instead of 11 or 12 because of COVID. And then the other teams are there. Then you got the Canadian Division, which is the Maple Leafs, eh? And the Canadians up the top, and you got the Jets right in third, and then the Oilers, Canucks kind of down there.

And then the Flames and the Senators are really bad. And that's sports. Okay. Crandor, what's the big news story of the day? Well, let me tell you about a big news story. Did you forget to find one? I also forgot that we have things like Cosmopolitan. And I clicked on one of their articles just to see something.

Yeah, and? Well, they had 17 virtual date ideas to get you through social distancing. Trust me, number four is fire. All right, go directly to number four. I don't care about the rest of them. What is the fire date? If it's not fire, I'm out. It's not fire.

Take the love language test together. I don't... Do they know what fire means? It's cosmopolitan. Take the love language test. Yeah, yeah, that'll do it. These are so dumb. I'm going to speed go through them.

Number one, get to know each other deeper via Spotify. If you have to get to know each other through Spotify and you can't just realize what songs they're into from just asking them or hearing what they're listening to. That is dumb. Yeah, what? That's pretty dumb. What songs do you listen to?

Who cares? Share your fave songs with your date you're listening to. Okay, cool. Hire a virtual private chef or attend a virtual cooking class together. Wait, what? Hire a virtual private chef? What is the point? I want to eat the food after.

I want them to cook the food if I'm hiring them. Yeah, wait, what? That's dumb. Assess your compatibility is number three, and then take the love language as number four. That's like the same thing, because you're like figuring out if you're... Arrange a virtual fancy date night.

Isn't that what you're doing? Start a recipe exchange. But you're hiring a chef. They're probably going to give you recipes. Play online games together. All right. You know what's funny about Zoom? They're like chatting over Zoom.

I think we were one of the first people to use Zoom. I think TB found it. And he was like, this company called Zoom. And it's brand new. He would talk with the CEO and stuff. He'd be like, yes, it's just not working. Yes, absolutely. Yes.

We were like way back then. I was like, yeah, this is kind of neat. A little janky, though. Now it's literally everywhere. Man, I should have invested in Zoom. I'd be rich. We would have been rich. We had so many outs over the years,

and we failed every single time. Every single time. Mail a care package. All right. Start a two-person book club. Yeah, all right. Start a two-person book club? I guess it's like you each read a book

and then talk about it. I mean... Yeah, fun about it. I mean. Yeah. Fun. Fun. Good times. I mean, I appreciate reading the book and talking about it, but I feel like you can do that anytime. You don't have to do it.

Yeah, it isn't like a special virtual thing. Yeah. Create a shared photo album. Let's just go through photos Send a coupon book So if I send a coupon book I'm sending them to honey.com Slash cocks

Exchange scents What And then motivate each other To sweat Oh workout Okay I was like whoa what is it you know what you know what we mean like do I binge watch tv go house hunting so you can go online and take virtual tours of homes uh that's actually kind of fun to do yeah yeah? Yeah. That's pretty fun. All right.

I'm also the type of person to watch, like, HGTV, though. But a lot of that, you know what? I guess a lot of that is we've been dating a while kind of stuff. Because to me, I don't, like, going out and being like, hey, who wants to look at houses? Like, that's weird if you're just starting to date right like that's true strange that's true uh well i guess you could be like what's your ideal house and then like you could do that maybe but that's still that's still a lot still a lot that's still because then you're implying like we're gonna buy a house together yeah that's a lot of pressure on

the we just started dating yeah like well with well with me. We're already like married now So it's more like hey we could buy houses Yes Learn something new Do that anytime? Stargaze together We're all under the same sky and seeing the same star. Yeah, but not if it's cloudy one place not the other yeah as long as you Sing somewhere out there to each other,

then that's fine. If one person might be in England, the other person might be in California. It's bright one, dark in the other, you can't see as much. Yeah, you're like, Somewhere Out... You can do it. I appreciate that. Alright. Well, I think we each got one

out of those 17 yeah number four was mine just involves singing somewhere out there to your significant other yeah duets is how i all of mine are duets yeah um so yeah that was i guess that's the big news story of the day Alright well that's Okay Anyway that's it for us Thanks so much for tuning in

For I assume Tuning out and tuning over That makes no sense Crendor hit him with the socials Alright socials Here's the socials we hate first uh all right no i'm just kidding these are the good ones youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast that's where you can listen to us rant about how much we hate things also youtube.com slash cox and crendor that's where

dan draws the funnies of us talking about how much we hate things. Then, we're on Spotify. We're on iTunes. We're on SoundCloud. We're all over the place. Also, you can check out our Twitch. Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox if you like Final Fantasy. Twitch.tv slash Crendor if you don't like Final Fantasy. YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox if you want to see him buy a toaster and toast the hot dogs. YouTube.com slash Crendor if you want to see me rant in front of a

shitty green screen every week. Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox if you want to hear him talk about how he hates analytics. Then Twitter.com slash Crendor if you want to see me respond to how much he hates analytics. And then we're on Facebook as well and then Instagram.com

slash Notorious Cox because I guess that's okay. And then Instagram.com slash Crendcks because I guess that's okay and then instagram.com slash crendor is taken because crendor is taken alright well that's it for us see y'all next time and as always to be continued