Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 280 - Jesse Cox: Vice Squad

Episode Date: March 15, 2021

The boys are back and this week they delve deep into the world of ancient history to discover the most ridiculous Pharaoh ever. Also Crendor continues his war against social media, while Jesse is possible caught up in a drug running scheme. All this and the cold case of a German Sausage, on this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 15% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee! Go to http://hawthorne.co and use promo code COX to get 10% off your first purchase!

Today's episode is brought to you by me undies! Me undies are the undies that I have on me. Also today we're brought to you by Hawthorne. Hawthorne's gonna get you smelling good. So when people see you in those undies, they'll have a reason to keep going. Anyway, that's weird. Let's jump into this podcast.

Hello everybody, it's time for Cocks and Cretton. Cocks and Cretton in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In four-hour recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Cocks and Cretton in the morning.

Hello, everybody. Take your ass off and jump, Kax and Kredda in the morning! K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K Hey, how's it going? It's going alright It's going pretty good I think I may be in trouble This might be the last episode we do This might be the last episode Alright, well let me go first then Okay, alright then You're just like, I got some crazy story I do have a crazy story So let me get my little stories in here

Alright, yeah sure First story So I did my i've been doing my twitter hiatus and i did see i made my one tweet i said i made a loop hero review and then you said he's back everybody but i only saw that i didn't actually read anything well here's the thing i people assumed i was referring To you being back on Twitter When actually I was referring to I love your two minute reviews

And they're back and I want more two minute reviews Yeah I wasn't like trying to roast I was like yeah give me more two minute reviews I love those No I was like I wanted to make more edited things on YouTube So I'm like god I'm tired of just You know only uploading like Blood Bowl VODs and like me being like because I wanted to make more edited things on YouTube. So I'm like, God, I'm tired of just, you know,

only uploading like Blood Bowl VODs and like me being like, what's happening next in World of Warcraft or whatever. So I was like, I'm going to do like one edited thing a week so I can do that. So I was going to do a pointless top 10 every week. Well, not every week, but like once every other week. And then the weeks I don't do a pointless top 10. This is already falling apart.

I'm going to do a two minute review. All right, not every week. Maybe every other week. And then I weeks I don't do a pointless top 10. This is already falling apart. I'm going to do a two-minute review. All right, not every week. Maybe every other week. And then I'm going to do another thing. I'm doing a pointless top 10 one week, and then two-minute review next week, and then I just alternate back and forth. Great.

Great idea. Love it. Yeah, because I was like, I want to do pointless top 10, because that's something where even if you don't play WoW, you can watch it and be i like the grass and wow uh is that an excellent pointless top 10 grass i've actually done grass already i've done you've done grass yeah i've done grass mining nodes uh i think lamp posts ins i've done a lot just search crendor and then grass. You'll probably find that, honestly, in YouTube. So I was like, yeah, because I want to, you know, sometimes like YouTube, like I got into YouTube because it was like my creative outlet thing. And so I've lost that creative outlet.

I'm like, dude, I want more creative outlets. So I'm like, bam. That's like, even if it's only once a week, that's the thing. That's where I'm at. Yeah. Agreed. There was a toaster woman. She was like, you should do two minute

reviews again that was one of my favorite series and i was like oh yeah i did used to make that series and i was like i can make one on loop hero because i like loop hero and then i did it was fun it was great yeah that's i i learned more about loop hero from that video than from asking octopimp what loot hero was yeah loop you, loop. You go loops. No loot. Well, there is loot in Loot Hero, but there's no... He was literally playing the game, and I was like, can you explain this to me? He's like, yeah, sure. And, I don't know, eight minutes

into his explanation, I was zoned out. I was like, I don't know what's going on. That's the thing. When I first saw Loot Hero, I was like, what the shit is this? And it just looked like so many things were happening. And I'm like, what is this? And they're like, it's like deck building but like a you're like roguelite like and like you're done i'm like i'm lost so like uh yeah loop hero in two minutes check it out crendor loop hero you'll find that big uh big fun it's only two minutes all right what are you

gonna do with those two minutes you'll probably waste them somehow anyway yeah you're gonna waste them while watching exactly uh and then uh so yeah i started doing that that was fun i started uploading more of my other channels like the good night crendor i made a 20 minute asmr video of me reading weather reports and it's literally me going like today in tokyo japan so 68 degrees Fahrenheit. 20% humidity. It's like if I did the weather here, but just you know, in that type of voice like that. And then someone was like,

if Woppy interrupted in the middle, this would make this video bad. But he did not. Why would he do that? So that was my goodnight Crandor channel. And then I got my Warhammer channel. I put up some Warhammer stuff on Warhammer Crandor, because here's the thing. I like the variety of it all. And I'm not going to do those on my main channel, because I'll put me reading weather, and people will be like, what the shit?

Some people will probably be like, cool. But then, I think if you diversify everything, and you got like, I don't know. It's like if you upload something like reading weather reports, people that watch it are going to be people that actually want to watch it. You know? I mean, I get that. This is probably way too personal, but I'm going to say it anyway. All right. Great. So, you know, I have mentioned in the past, like for some reason, I have no investment in Pokemon.

Zero. None none None whatsoever The last one I played was like gold and silver way back when Do not have any investment But For some reason I really enjoy Listening to like random strangers ASMR Pokemon things Either pack openings

Or I feel like every time we brought up ASMR your you're like pokemon that's what i'm saying i have a problem and i don't know why but uh so there's this one girl who i think i've mentioned this before but if i haven't she literally just sits there it is like with this french accent and it's just like let me recommend to you which pokemon game you should play based off of the games that i've played that's it it. That's the whole thing. And the entire time I was thinking like, why am I not making a video that's like, let me recommend, I don't know, Final Fantasy games to you based off the ones I've played.

Or let me, like, that seems like such an easy video to make, especially an ASMR game. And so she does this thing and the entire time I was sitting there and so I don't know if it was this if it was something about this video I don't know what it was I can't explain it but every time I listen to this video I have really weird dreams so if I like use this video to go to bed with ASMR because it it's like really calming. I don't know. I can't explain. It just is. But every time I do, I have bizarre dreams, Crandor. Bizarre dreams. And not like

normal Jesse funny dreams or normal Jesse like, well, that was interesting. Last night, the dream I had is that my butt was leaking. Huh. And I couldn't stop my butt from leaking. I mean... all right. That's what I'm saying.

And nothing was different. Nothing was different from the day before. In fact, because I just recently went grocery shopping, 99% of what I had to eat that day was the exact same. Between the two days, There was no food difference was non-existent. I did roughly the same things. Right?

Nothing was different about those days except one day I didn't have that girl on and the other day I did. And every time I have that girl on I have a weird dream. So all I can assume is for some reason while listening to her, my dream self was like, dude, your butt's leaking. And not like gross leak, but like I had like a water leak in my butt.

And so I couldn't sit down everywhere because it would leave puddles. And I was just really embarrassed. And I was like, and so I even had it like where I was trying to sleep. And then like, I was like, like my butt was like shooting water up in the back. It's like rocketing away. Yes. And I couldn't, I couldn't pull the covers down around me because like the water is so upset. I was like, I'll never be able to get to sleep now thanks

but that was the dream I had and it's caused this girl I think I don't know sorry I just had to interject because that it happened and I'm worried about it but whatever I would be worried too she's great she's so much fun I am I'm sure someone has a like here's the dreams actually about I don't really want to even know I don't want to know what your butt leaking means for dreams I would rather not be aware of that yeah no I don't I don't want to know either it's you know I've been I've been just doing that kind of focusing more on my YouTube stuff and figuring out what I'm doing

Twitch is Twitch, I still stream and I'm like, what's up gamers so that's fun social media I've been avoiding it I've moved my Twitter app from the front of my phone to some folder in the back

that's where mine is too mine is hidden in a folder i have to really want to get to it yes same same so it's like one time i was like i saw like a football thing pop up and i was like check twitter and i opened it i was looking i was like nope and i just closed it it's like nope not gonna do it i'll just uh you know i'll hear about it later so that's uh that's how that's how I'm going Well I mean You're going pretty well I think I think this is smart I too

After our conversation I don't know if it was just that day But Monday I logged in Twitter and was like Holy crap this site sucks Yeah No I made a I actually made a new Twitter called crendor notify and it's just

notifications of like me going live or uploading a video and it's just it's an animated avatar of me reading a thing being like ah and it's just called crendor notify and i just i open it i'm like here's a thing and then i close the tab it's fantastic so if you just want to see that crendor notified although i will say i can't not like today i woke up and i i tweeted a thing about like how i had stuff to do or whatever uh and i needed help with like a thumbnail but in the quick little bit that I was on Twitter, I was reminded about the good things on Twitter. I saw a video of a dog playing a Street Fighter game. And then the owner pulled the plug and the dog looked at the owner like,

you what? It was hilarious. It was genuinely funny. i was like i would have missed this if i hadn't seen it on this website here so i don't know sometimes sometimes i'm like all right it's not too bad i mean you can you know there's something you can make like alt accounts and like you know follow just like dog twitter. I mean, you're right. And you're always opening it up and seeing dogs. Yeah.

I mean, I guess that's why Reddit, I enjoy Reddit so much now. Having never enjoyed Reddit in the past, but now that I have deep dove into Reddit and I kind of get it, I'm just a lurker, right? I don't really post anything, but it allows you to find little communities and just sign up for those things.

So now I find little tiny like, you know, just dogs playing fighting games. And I'm like, yeah, all right. I'll like go watch those. And it's great. That's how you do it. Yeah. That's how you do it. Huge fan.

So what's your crazy ass story? All right. So what's your crazy ass story Alright so You know how in the past There have been many many Characters in this apartment complex since I've moved To LA Probably write a book And so

I moved I haven't left the street But I moved like further down The street right I just want to say that I want to get this out of the way. Now, if I end up dead, this is what got me killed. I want you all to know this.

If this is how I die. So my new apartment is, it's smaller than my previous ones, but it is, I think a much better apartment. Like it has almost one wall is all windows. Because I told you I was going to go small apartment but like great view. And that's what I got.

And so the problem is that one of the windows looks out onto another apartment complex. I can see a little bit into the other apartments. But not really because everyone's windows are kind of like tinted. So you can only see a little bit inside. But everyone's's balconies i can see everything going on in the balconies and so every morning at roughly i don't know 11 a.m from about 11 a.m until noon this dude walks out onto his balcony in a hoodie that covers his face walks out onto his balcony in a hoodie that covers his face with some sort of can of energy drink and stands there now i have i don't know if i'm making lunch or a late breakfast or whatever i'll be up in my kitchen i'll just like notice he's out there or i'll be you know working in

the living room area and i'll notice he's out there and I never really paid attention to it until, I don't know, maybe earlier this past week I noticed he was like I thought he was twitching I thought something was going on with him and of course I stopped to look and be like, what the hell but I realized he was giving hand signals and I was like, what? And he was staring out,

not, not like at me, not like at anyone. He was staring out across the way to maybe another apartment, maybe like some dude on a boat. I don't, I don't, I literally don't know, but he's sitting there in a hoodie, all bundled up to the point where I don't, I don't, I literally don't know, but he's sitting there in a hoodie, all bundled up to the point where I can't see. And he's not paying attention to anything around him, but he's making straight up. Like he's calling, uh, things for some dude in baseball. Like he's right on third base and he's making signs, but they're like very specific. Like he'll point across and then he'll point down and then he'll make like weird hand and i'm just i watched it at first i was like maybe he's just like a little crazy

right and then i went you know i went back about my business and the next day same damn thing i was like uh what and then the next day, same damn thing. Exact same time. I bet if I, a few hours ago, had gone up to go look, he would still be doing it. And I was like, what is... I didn't snoop as much as I probably should have because I was like, it's not. I'm not going to get caught up in this.

But also. Also one of my first thoughts was. Either this guy is communicating. With someone across the way. Or. He's not. And just thinks he is. Which is even crazier.

Which is definitely a possibility. Or. And this worried me a great deal. I was like, this dude is coming out in this hoodie. He's all bundled up. It's LA though. So why is he trying to hide? What is he doing?

There are like boats around here. Could this be a drug running thing? I was like, oh no, I don't want to get on anybody's bad side i was like oh boy so i don't know this could be all sorts of extremes and so i just kind of like watched him do it and now i actively tried to avoid watching him do it because i don't want him to notice but i'm also like talking to you about it now so if he listens to irreverent podcasts on the internet, he definitely knows now. Well. It's just

I can't. I just need to get it out there because I keep seeing this. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's he stares forward and I looked and there was nobody there. There wasn't like a boat. There wasn't like it's either he's communicating with someone out to the ocean. Not even

the ocean. There's apartments across the way. There's just like a little channel of water between us. Alright, that's a little weird. I thought he was looking out to the ocean. No! No! No, even in the ocean you can imagine maybe there's someone further out like giant binoculars or something. No, this literally

I think he does it to the apartment complex across the way but i don't i don't know because i don't see anyone across the way looking back so it's literally just him looking out with no one there and he's like doing hand signals but it's not like you know sometimes people do hand signals or they're like jamming to a song or whatever it's not that and everything seems purposeful. Like he's communicating with someone and he sees their actions and he's saying,

no, this, no, not that this, I swear to you, it's crazy. And very, I feel like I'm reading too much into it.

I have to be, I can't be caught up in like one of those. I've caught onto a conspiracy. I can't do that to myself, but I'm worried. I can't be caught up in one of those, I've caught on to a conspiracy. I can't do that to myself, but I'm worried. I'm worried for me. So if I go down, I want everyone to know, it's been a pleasure, but holy crap, I can't

believe this is what got me. I can't believe this is what got me. Of all the things. Of all the things! He starts making signals and your body just starts shifting to him. Yeah, he's some sort of alchemist I don't know what's going on It's like green cheetah magic I have no clue what's happening

Or the green cheetah's controlling him I've never been in an apartment complex like this It's so bizarre I have one neighbor who gets angry if I say a word never been in an apartment complex like this it's so bizarre everything about it is so like i have i have one neighbor who gets angry if i say a word after 10 p.m yet the guy who lives beneath me plays the loudest techno stuff all day yet no one ever complains about it i'm like well why and i know why because at 10 p.m. he turns it off. The dude is like loud as hell all day.

And then he's like, and 10 p.m. This place is nuts. This place is crazy. I love it. I love the apartment. It's very nice. But like everything here is insane. It's so weird.

It's got to be green cheetah magic. There's no other way. be green cheetah magic there's no other way the green cheetah i mean i'm technically closer to where the green cheetah was than the last place i lived that's exactly it you're getting closer to your home it's crazier the closer you get it's like an aura this you're right it's like moving towards the center of a black hole time is all dilated everything's crazy yeah you start getting younger yeah time has no meaning i start to taste smells i see i see sound that i taste smells yeah that's i mean mean, when that, when that starts happening, that's going to be a good story.

It's too late for me. If that starts happening, it's over. I'm going to be like, we got to do a podcast right now because I'm not sure I got through the night. I don't know.

What's wrong with you? You sound weird. He's speaking in tongues. It's just a Missy Elliott song now. My hope is that someone reminds that and says something crazy. Like, the green cheetah is here with me. Then they go to help and they're just like warped into a black hole as well. And then eventually the world is. Yeah, this is like that one, The Ring, where when you listen to this podcast,

the green sheet, it comes out of your headphones. Oh, like a bull at the bull. No. Oh, like the bull at the bull. Yeah. Huh. Yep, so there you go. That's what's happening you go. That's,

uh, that's, that's what's happening with me. It's worrisome. I'm literally, I like, I'm not, I'm jokingly worried, but also like kind of,

kind of not kind of, kind of thinking it's weird. I, it's, I'm not worried, but it is very weird. It's every day at the same time. And it isn't like he's out there smoking Or like you know

Listening to music or staring at Whatever It's specific hand signals It's so weird I don't know what it means But it's weird And then he just goes back inside and never see him again The stories might keep developing

Maybe All I'm saying is if the drug cartel involved listening uh here's this i don't want any trouble i don't care if you're shipping drugs that's not i'm not gonna report you just like don't kill me thanks like i don't care trying to look out his window in peace yeah like i don't care if you're smuggling coke i don't like whatever drugs you got i don't give a shit but like you, I don't care if you're smuggling coke. I don't like whatever drugs you got. I don't give a shit, but like, you know, just don't kill me. I'm not gonna report

nothing. It's just weird is all. Tell your guy to get like, I don't know, something less weird going on. I'm not judging, but like, it's weird. That's all. Anyway, yeah, that's what's happening. Okay, well, it's good good You know what else is good

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Oh, boy. Traffic. It's picking up. You know, weather's getting warmer. People are going out more. You gotta watch out for the cars. Watch out for the boats out in the ocean that are invisible that people are giving hand signals to you never know you never know what this would be

or if they're gonna ram into your uh you know your boat you're sailing on so watch out for invisible boats they're pretty crazy and uh that's that thanks quentin or not let's go over to quentin at the weather desk how's that weather weather i heardentin Orton. Now let's go over to Quentin Orton at the Weather Desk. How's that weather? Weather... I heard there's supposed to be some super snowstorm in Colorado or something. Let's see. Let's go to Denver. Let's go to Denver.

There's supposed to be crazy snow. Oh, yeah, there is. Okay. Denver, Colorado. 33 degrees. You got 76% chance of snow through 4 p. Okay. Denver, Colorado, 33 degrees. You got 76% chance of snow through 4 p.m. Winter storm warning. Total snow accumulations of 12 to 24 inches expected.

Damn. With heavier amounts near Boulder and Fort Collins. One place said they could get up to three feet of snow. So that's a little crazy. You got currently 26 degrees feeling like it nine mile an hour winds 34 high 31 low humidity 92 pressure 29.91 visibility only four miles can't see very far uv index zero at 10 dew point 31 you got your moon phase is a new moon that's a fresh moon up in the sky uh yeah you got your 10 day uh cloudy with snow low 31 winds north 10 to 15 miles an hour chance of

snow 100 gonna be around a foot damn 100 i rarely you rarely see a 100. That's 100. They know it's coming. It's happening. It's happening. Sunday, you got your snow with another 100%. It looks like Saturday night, it's going to be 8 to 12 inches. Sunday, it's going to be 5 to 8 inches. And then Monday, it's 44 and partly cloudy.

Tuesday, you got more snow, one to three inches. And then after that, it looks like it's 41, 47, 54, 58, 59, 53, 47, 47, 53, 56, 57. So after the snowstorm, everything starts warming up for Denver and the Colorado area. It makes me feel good about how in L.A. it's like it rained for three days, but at least it was just rain. No, for that much time. It reminds me of living in Buffalo. That was the worst.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Buffalo gets a lot of snow. It's right by Canada, too. Canada is just like snow lane. Yeah, it's like right on Lake... So we got like that Lake Erie effect going on. Oh, yeah. The lake effect.

Awful. Yeah, it's spicy. That's the weather. Oh, I think that was just us being like, that lake, that lake. That's awful. That's just awful. Two old men.

Like, oh, that lake effect snow. It's terrible. It'll get you. Every time. It's like we're stuck in an elevator together and we have nothing to talk about. Snow. 100%. You hear that?

Lake effect. You have to shovel a couple inches out there. Yup. Grandkid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grandkid, he's playing those games. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Nintendo Cube or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Grandkid does the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He beats me at the Mario Brothers. I try to get him outside, but, you know, snow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I'll make him do the driveway, you know? No, no. Back then, yeah, you had to.

Right. You had to do it. That's what it was. Yeah. Now they play the cute Nintendo Cube. Yeah, we're prepared for this. We got this. Yeah.

Easy. Easy. All right. Let's go to sports. Sports. Sports. So NBA All-Star Game happened last weekend, so now NBA games are happening again. Still got quite some time before playoffs or anything hit.

And again, still got quite some time before playoffs or anything hit. NFL, whole bunch of contract restructurings and cuts going on because the cap got lowered. So when the cap gets lowered, you got to make room. You got to reach the cap limit. So people are doing contract restructuring. They're cutting players to save money to get under the cap, a whole bunch of financial stuff, and then free agency starts in like four days or so. So that's fun.

This is my favorite part of the year, the NFL offseason. How often do they lower the cap in the NFL? Not often, but when you can't have people come to the games, then the cap's going down. I guess that makes sense. sense yeah so if they're not making as much money can't pay as much money you gotta lower the payroll but if you have contracts wouldn't the contracts be like you need to pay me x number of dollars for x number of years so if you cut them you're still paying something right well you're still paying but a lot of times they do things where they like front load the contract or they like extend it uh there's

like a bunch of ways they lower the money for like specific years because the guy could be like you get paid 10 million this year 20 million next year and then 10 million the year after that or it could be like front loaded where he makes like 30 million this year and then like 8 million the next year if he's like an older dude i think he's gonna decline so it's like there's a whole bunch of stuff they do or it goes the opposite uh so yeah it's some players they like they take the like pay cut so that it helps the team because they want to stay with the team they don't want to go a different team some teams got like a shit ton of money because like they don't have a lot of good players or like they haven't been good for a while it's like the jaguars they got like 70 million in cap space they can sign like whoever they want while like i think the packers were

like 2 million over uh right now like some like the saints were like 40 million over like crazy shit uh so yeah that's uh this is this is like the most fun for me is the nfl offseason you are that guy you are that guy i am that guy youball, man. You're Moneyball. Yeah. I am the Moneyball. And then spring training happening in baseball still. Yeah. Still going on. Another 85 weeks of spring training. Yep.

And then hockey's still going. Still got plenty of games to go there. And that's sports. Okay. What is our big news story of the day? Actually, never mind. We got to go through this Cosmo. Not Cosmo.

No. Fact. Facts. I just Cosmo on the brain. All right. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Don't worry. I checked Cosmo. Nothing good this week. Thank God. A pharaoh once lathered his slaves in honey to keep bugs away from him. I mean, that's amazing.

I feel like, though, that does say a lot about the pharaoh-slave relationship, where he's like, all these bugs, lather yourselves in honey. The pharaohs of ancient Egypt were believed to be literally divine The pharaoh itself means great house

As in the house of God In fact, King Pepe the second His name was not Pepe the second King Pepe the second It was not called Pepe King Pepe P-E-P-I, Pepe It has to be pronounced like Pepe

King Pepe It sounds like a pizza guy Come down to. Pepe. It has to be pronounced like Pepe. King Pepe? It sounds like a pizza guy. Come down to King Pepe's Pizza. We've been ruling this since ancient Egypt. We slather our pizzas in honey. Over 6,000 years of pizza quality. You'll love our spicy honey pie.

He supposedly ruled for 90 years. He ruled for 90... He ruled for... Bull. Bull. Yeah. 90 years. Thought so highly of himself. Yeah.

When he was bothered by insects, he would command that one of his slaves be covered in honey to lure the flies away from himself. Can you imagine just having to be the dude? Like, put honey on him and you're just like, well, I mean, he's the god king. Here's the thing. Out of all the things that could happen to a slave, that might be one of the easiest, like, the cushiest slave jobs. Just like, all I gotta do is stay here with honey on me? Oh, my. Meanwhile, in the background, there's dudes building

a pyramid. Like dying as they push blocks up the thing. I just have to imagine it wasn't great for the slaves, so I feel like honey guy is probably like, I don't know. It's a little sticky, but at least you don't have to do anything.

You just stand there. Like flies and stuff. Yeah, but even then, they aren't biting you because they can't get to you because of all the honey. Yeah, that's true. So you just get killed. And then you go jump in a river or something. Although, probably alligators are like, is that honey? Oh, that's a tasty treat right there.

Crocodiles, not alligators. Yeah, crocodiles. He might actually be happy about it. It's like, dude, I get to help the God King guy. This is living life. I mean, I don't think... I feel like that's what they say to the God King. They're like, I'm so pleased to be here.

But I have a feeling when they leave, like, that son of a bitch. I swear to God. Well, let's look up Pepe the second and he's got statues himself 2284 BC so was that like 4,000 years is the I have to look up Pepe the second it's like a Statues I looked up Pipo Pipo the second For some reason Pipo the second

Surprising facts About Pepe the second Neficara Is that his last name Neficara Yeah I think that's it Pepe the second Was the last ruler

Of the sixth dynasty In Egypt's oldest kingdom His reign was also The longest Ruled for 90 to 94 Long years As far as we know. He's the son of Pepi I

and Queen Ankenespepi. Wait, so she had Pepi in her name? Well, they would marry their sisters, right? Oh, would they? Yeah, because they thought that because they were all gods, you know, like when they leave their body and they're reincarnated

and they come back, they were like, well, I don't want to be in a different family. So they would marry their sisters or cousins or whatever so that all the royals would come back as royals. Damn. Oh, yeah. He came to throne at age six while his mother, Ankenespepe, the first, was the

regent for the country. He ruled until his death at age a hundred. A 100 years old? He lived to 100? He didn't have modern medicine. I mean, if you throw enough slaves at anything, I mean, this guy,

I feel like he wasn't a great ruler, if you know what I mean. I feel like he was just like I don't like flies. Put the honey on him. Put honey on it. He's like, oh, I have a stomach ache. Like, you know, kill 80 slaves and figure out how stomachs work.

Like, I feel like this guy wasn't the best kind of dude. I think we figured out antacids, but we're going to test it out on this guy. He's like, yeah, I don't got heartburn. The other guy's like, well, what about the other drug? He died. All right, yeah, get rid of that drug. That's no good. Thanks.

Yeah, I feel like this guy, I don't know. It probably wasn't. The pyramid of Pepe II was constructed in Saqqara. Three of his wives were buried in smaller pyramids near his. His pyramid complex was among the largest of pyramids of the kings from 5th and 6th. Yeah, if he's got like the largest pyramids, he was like, that dude was ruthless. I mean, just the amount of work that went into building a pyramid. It's like the course of a lifetime.

You're preparing your entire life to be buried somewhere. It's like, this is where I'll be. So you have to imagine that this guy built the biggest one for his time period. He was like, slaves! More slaves! This guy was not good. His funerary monument

was built and decorated in a much poorer way than his predecessor. Oh yeah, they were like, fuck this guy. Yeah, they were. They were like fuck this guy oh yeah no yes we definitely included all the sconces you asked yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we totally did so many sconces your worshipfulness so many well I didn't think I'd be learning about Pepe the second today, but here we are. I didn't even know there was a Pepe the second. I can't believe there's Pepe the first. Yeah.

Man. So that's your random fact of the day. I mean, yeah, now we know. Now you know. But what's our big news story uh well i found a new story it says half-eaten sausage solves nine-year-old german burglary well we found our story is what we found yeah now this is the story i've been looking for for weeks i can't even i don't i don't know where this is going.

So, yes, please. German police say they have solved a nine-year-old burglary after DNA found that a half-eaten piece of sausage matched that of a man detained in France over an unrelated crime. Wait, what? Did they keep the sausage for years? I didn't show up. Maybe they found it at the scene.

That's what I'm saying, but then they would have had to kept it. What did you say? They would have had to kept it. They would have had to kept it. I mean, if it's evidence. I guess. It's a weird thing to be like, put that sausage on the deep freeze.

You never know. Police in the western town of Schwelm said Thursday that the sausage belonged to the victim and suspect, a 30-year-old Albanian citizen appeared to have helped himself to a bite during the March 12th break-in. Or March

2012 break-in. It wasn't clear what type of sausage known in Germany as Wurst the burglar had nibbled, though police said it was a hard variety. Wait, so this dude broke in, saw some sausage. He's so German. He broke in, saw some sausage, and was like, I don't have a bite to seize. Are you kidding me?

Okay. Listen, I'm half German, and I'm still like, hey, there's a Polish sausage. He got some bratwurst in there. He's like, oh my God, okay. Every year I'm like, I know it's not great for me, but I got to eat that brat. I have at least one brat. Investigators recently alerted that French police

had taken a matching DNA sample from a man involved in a violent crime. But Shvelen police said the suspect remains free and in the first case, there it is, there's the writer throwing that in. He may escape punishment. The state of, the statute of limitations on the

burglar is expired, meaning he will likely not be extradited to Germany. Wow. So that dude just got away with it. Just got away with it I can't You know what I guess there's a reason why most Cold cases are murders right

Because the statute of limitations is much longer than like This man stole a bite Of my sausage Actually we don't know what he stole Yeah that's true we don't actually know what he stole It's just And like it wasn't clear what type of sausage Burglar had nibbled, though police

said it was a hard variety. So like, a variety of sausages? Yeah, like a hard worst. What is a Nah, I gotta look up. It's a hard worst. It's a hard 2012, that was

this happened the year we started this podcast There are versed categories Oh my goodness There's fresh raw versed Or rot versed There's cooked versed Which is cook versed Brat versed

There's brat versed which is the boiled Scalding There's hamwurst, which is the boiled scalding. Yeah. There's ham. Wait, what? Ham. So wait, what is the... There's liverwurst and head cheese and blood sausage. I mean, that would be the cookedwurst, I think.

Like a hard... There are 350 different kinds of sausages that are classified as cookedwurst. Yeah. So I guess it could be they contain everything. This is my favorite. Remind me that I'm eating weird stuff whenever I eat sausage. Unlike the fresh, raw-versed, cooked-versed is made with cooked ingredients,

such as finely chopped liver, tongue, including gelatin, blood, grits, and bread to help bind it all together. The mixture is filled into sausage skin, then cooked. You know, all the good bits. They include things like, you know, my favorite part is it can include hand or meat. And or meat. And or meat. And or meat. And or meat. Nothing like a good sausage with hand or meat. And or meat. Hand or meat. And or meat.

And or meat. Nothing like a good sausage with hand or meat. I thought you said hand or meat. I was like, hand. I mean, someone's hand's in there. Let's be real. Let's not pretend. There's some hand in your sausage.

It may not be a human hand, but some animal's hand is in there. Let's take bratwurst. It's good with me. Yeah, I'll still eat one. They're delicious. I'll still eat it. I don't care. Put a little hand or meat in there. Might have a brat today. Oh, my God. All right. Well, let's get on to that brat.

That's it for us. Thanks so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this podcast. Crendor, hit them with the socials. Socials. Go to youtube.com slash coxandcrendorpodcast. You'll find all the podcast episodes there. Also, cut off the podcast part. You'll find youtube.com slash coxandcrendor. That's where all the animations

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Crandor was taken. Okay. That's it. We'll see y'all next time. Thanks for all the love. Hey, I even got, you know what? I got a message before we peace out. I got a message on Instagram because apparently you don't ever talk to anyone.

That's true. or look at anything so Frederick wanted me to send you a message and a lot of people wanted to send you a message that was just like congratulate him on his wedding I've been listening to you and Jesse for 8 years and watched every episode of the Co-Optional Podcast I'm genuinely happy

when I heard I hope you all the best. Well, thank you. There you go. Long-time fan from Sweden. Thank you for being the middleman. Yeah. You know what? I try. I try. All right. That's it. Let's get out of here. And as always, to be continued. you