Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 300 - Yes, there have been 300 of these...

Episode Date: August 2, 2021

It's the 300th episodes of Cox n' Crendor! To celebrate we take a look back at your favorite quotes, moments, and then completely forget which one of us said or did the thing you love. Also a man trie...d to run on water, you can taste garlic with your feet, and apparently sharing no longer equals caring! All this and so much more on the 300th episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://calm.com/COX for 40% off unlimited access to Calm's entire library. Visit http://joinhoney.com/cox to get Honey for free.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by Calm. Calm is here to help you relax. Also, today we're brought to you by Honey. Honey is here to save you money. Boy, we are all about the good vibes today. I don't know why I went, today. That's what I decided to do, today. Anyway, let's jump into this podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trending. Ghost on Trending in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In four-hour recording studios. Recording. Wake your ass up.
Starting point is 00:00:42 It's Ghost on Trending in the morning. Hello, everybody. Hit me, wake your ass up, it's the Gax and Grendar in the morning! Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit 300. It's hard to believe we've been doing something this consistently for so long. Well, we have, and it took a hiatus for a while. You're right. We could be at episode 600 for real. That's true. We'd be way up there by now. Yeah, but even that is still pretty consistent for me. That's true.
Starting point is 00:01:21 Even taking a giant break, still pretty consistent. that's true like even taking a giant break still pretty consistent i think the last i think we hit episode 200 uh 20 june it's about two years ago makes sense i mean yeah it does with once a week 50 some weeks yeah checks out checks out let's check out uh And you know, not much has changed except we've gotten older and that's about it. Yeah. One pandemic later, we're just a little bit more bitter and old. But yeah, I don't know. Still hanging in there. I think even without the pandemic, I would have been more bitter and old.
Starting point is 00:02:01 It's spent things along, I feel. Yeah. old it's spent things along i feel yeah uh it's you know it's still crazy to like go back and listen to like old old episodes like i feel like i'm a different person i've said it before but now it's a good time to bring it up again because we're on the 300th but like going back you have my old videos and everything i'm like hello everyone I talk like a 1940s person now and doing the dirty race. I don't think that's changed. I think that's still you. Hello, everyone.
Starting point is 00:02:32 It is me, the Crandor. Well, back then I did it as like a, you know, back then I did it as like a person. I'm like, this is what I have to do to be entertaining. I'm like, all right. And I also was extremely inexperienced in social situations and awkward and weird again i still don't think much has changed i feel like it's definitely changed because back then i wouldn't even have been able to like go to coxconn and like sit in front of like a thousand people i mean you're right you're right i would have freaked out and i think just being thrown into the fire essentially just kind of fixed it and then you know that and the health problems
Starting point is 00:03:09 it just wears you down and then you just you go from like hello everyone to like hello everyone to like hey what's up i don't know if that's better i mean i'm not saying it's better i'm saying that's the progression of what happened hey everyone hi it's me Crandor what's going on usually what would happen though in the older things is that I would like start out like that and then slowly over the video or the pod I'd kind of get back to like this
Starting point is 00:03:37 this is like my right now we're like standard Crandor right I mean I'm waiting for the rest. Yeah. I don't know. Right now I'm at standard Crendor and...
Starting point is 00:03:52 That's it. Okay, standard Crendor. Well, for our 300th episode, I have brought two games to play. Games? And by games, I mean a look back at our lives. And both games are named the same things. They are, I don't remember that, did we say that? Alright, I think we did play that on episode 200.
Starting point is 00:04:20 We're doing it again, baby. Alright, here we go. This is famous Cox and Crandor quotes from 300 episodes. Alright, here we go. I don't know who said these things. I'm going to just assume
Starting point is 00:04:36 it was all you. Alright. It's like barbecue sauce for the soul. That's got to be a you quote. That has to be a you quote. I can't. Why would I say that? What were we talking about?
Starting point is 00:04:49 Barbecue sauce for the soul. That sounds like something you would say. All right, I'll take it. I'll take it. What's the what's the answer? We have to wait. I don't think I don't think I don't think there is an answer. This is just quotes.
Starting point is 00:05:07 All right, here we go. This, I think, this one is, the United Nations is a lie. I don't know who said that or when we said that. Yeah, I'm not, I actually have no idea.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Are you sure that you weren't listening to, like, I don't know. I don't know who actually have no idea. Are you sure that you weren't listening to, like... I don't know. I don't know who you were listening to. Alex Jones? Like, who is this? It's a lie. It's a lie. The United Nations are coming for you.
Starting point is 00:05:34 They're going to take you down. All right. I feel like this is a Crandor quote. It's the exact same level of stupid, but it's, like, refined stupid. That does sound kind of like something I'd say. I would agree. But then again, you could be saying, I don't know. I actually don't know.
Starting point is 00:05:57 It might be you. It could be me. This next one is 100% you. If we go into lockdown, I'm carving up all day that's you 100 what would i say that i don't know if i'd say that you i've never used the word carving up that phrase i've never said that ever yeah but uh why would i carve up i i carve up all the time daily i guess that's not something I would do Yeah that's true I probably did say that
Starting point is 00:06:27 The next one is definitely me Titty War 5000 sounds like a great game Where can I download that Titty War 5000 I still think I should download that Um Who would have thought the answer was drugs that is a crendor quote i feel like whatever the case may have been something was a story about drugs and that's a very crendor quote this one this one i don't know who said this but whoever said this
Starting point is 00:07:05 Is on my wavelength Penis man isn't a man He's an idea I have no idea what any of this stuff is in reference to I've mentioned it before I'll say it again When I do this podcast I go into a fugue state And I say things and don't know what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:07:28 And then at the end I go back and we edit it together and I'm like, oh, I said that. Okay. This one I feel like is you because it seems like you were defending GameCube when I said GameCube kids are weird. This one's pretty good. I used to bring my GameCube to my friend's house. It was easily transportable because it was a cube. That is definitely me. I didn't know that because I did do that.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Because it's a cube. It's easily transportable. Because it's a cube. It's easily transportable. Once you're at a dance, doesn't matter who you brung. Or doesn't matter who brung ya. Either way, that sounds like a Jesse quote. I've never heard you use the word brung ya.
Starting point is 00:08:20 So that sounds like something that would have come out of my mouth. Oh, yeah. But this next one, I'm going to spit in your Denny's Grand Slam is 100% you that's a hundred percent me up I want to point oh this one yeah this one's new I know this one because we just did the animation on it what's the point of being married if you can't get your wife to drill your back yeah oh yeah we did do the animation I mean that's you know that's pretty that's definitely me yeah no doubt uh who knows i might take a nap it could get crazy that could be either of us no i don't take naps at this point in life oh well that's definitely me yeah that's definitely you. This one is you. He definitely does bone rituals, dude.
Starting point is 00:09:07 That's you. Oh, yeah. Oh, I think I remember saying that. That wasn't that long ago. I remember that one. And then the last one is, don't worry, that monster cheese melts. That's you, for sure. Oh, yeah, that's me.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Don't worry, that monster cheese melts. I found a couple really old ones Alright That was sent to us by Aaron On Twitter Thanks Aaron Alright You wanna hear some real old ones
Starting point is 00:09:37 Real old ones yes Alright Why are you friend zoning me Swiss Miss I mean that's a great question All right. Why are you friend zoning me, Swiss Miss? I mean, that's a great question. To this day, the Swiss Miss is over there. She won't let me in. I keep trying.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I keep asking her out, and she's like, I only make a hot cocoa. Here's the thing. I said that. Oh, wow. That was in 2013. I legit don't even remember that. If you told me that i would have been like wait what that sounds like a jesse quote that sounds if anything you've rubbed off on me i guess maybe but then here's the thing another here's another quote every morning i get up and i say to myself why are you so, I mean, that could be either of us.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Well, it was a Crendor 2013 quote. Why are all these Crendor 2013 quotes? You were at your peak in 2013, I think. Maybe I was, because now I wake up and I'm like, here we go again. Here we go. Or I wake up and say, like say like god i hope nothing hurts today like i feel the thing was like back in 2013 i definitely had like some narcissistic tendencies and those have gone out the window now i still have like self-confidence but no more narcissism at all i will say there was a time
Starting point is 00:11:07 period i don't know 2014 after my first big youtube breakup i was in like uh like whatever i'm too cool i was in i was definitely in that space yeah i felt that every like youtuber streamer has that at least for like a year yeah oh yeah i was like really feeling myself i'm sure the podcast reflects that yeah all it took was the world beating me down enough to bring me back down to earth and now here i am and that is life yeah yeah i i got to the top of the mountain and then rolled down the other side i did did too, and I broke some bones, and I had a gulp lighter moved along the way. Tripped and fell and rolled on down. Here's a good one.
Starting point is 00:11:55 I almost believed that something existed until I started reading about it. Oh, that sounds like a Crendor, for sure. That is a Jesse 2013. We reversed. That's somewhere where polarity is reversed. I don't know when this happened, but we flipped. I knew a Trig Jegman once. That guy was an asshole.
Starting point is 00:12:24 That sounds like me for sure. That was a me in 2013. What? What is happening? 2013 us is, we have reversed realities. What is happening? Oh my God. Only a man named Dick Mandingo would invent something as awful as the McRib.
Starting point is 00:12:46 That's me, for sure. That is you. You got it. Okay, yes. All right, good. Back on track. I couldn't find an article, so instead we're doing Mad Libs. That's a crendor.
Starting point is 00:13:01 That's a crendor. Also, we should bring that back, for sure. Oh, we definitely need to. We got to bring back the Mad Libs. Hold on. Here we go. Here we go. No, you would get that one.
Starting point is 00:13:20 We're higher on the food chain than Satan. What? What? What? Me, for sure. That sounds like an idiot. Something an idiot would say. It was you in 2013. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:32 2013 Jesse was a big idiot, apparently. Yeah? Okay. Um. God, why are we so smart? Uh, that is also me. That's a Crandor 2012. Why do I keep being like, God, we're so smart?
Starting point is 00:13:52 You were feeling yourself, my man. That's what I'm saying. Back then, I was like, yeah, pretty cool. We're pretty smart. And then I was like, if I could go back and beat my old self up in like an HBO, like Jake Paul boxing match. I would. That was, that was a time. 2013 was a time where YouTubers, it felt like you were celebrity.
Starting point is 00:14:11 That's like when we were sent to parties on rooftops and stuff and money was being thrown at us to do dumb stuff. And we're like, yeah, baby. And then that quickly ended and then that quickly ended and we were all brought back down to earth unless your name was like jake paul or pewdiepie in which case you took all the money the rest of us were getting money and then you took it all yeah it's uh i don't know like i've said it like i just i can't stay in myself from back then. I really would beat myself up. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Well, I think we've all grown, right? That's true. Well, I know some people that haven't grown. But I think I've grown. I would say especially over the last five years. What over the last five years has changed you? That's when my health problems started. Oh, well, there you go.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Never mind. Yeah, I think health problems started. I think that was just when my brain started to finally be like, all right, we're done growing. Isn't that a thing? Your brain stops growing at 25 when you're a guy oh i i don't know my brain stopped growing at like 19 my brain was like this is it baby you're gonna think about boobies and that's pretty much it now go out into the world my man
Starting point is 00:15:42 it's like thanks thanks, brain. Let's see. The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until age 25 or so. But it still continues growing. The rational part is the key. It's not fully developed until
Starting point is 00:16:01 people are well into their 30s and 40s. So actually, it keeps growing up until your 30s and 40s. But I think 25 is when it starts. You know how when you grow up, every year feels like you've changed a crazy amount? You're like, dude, third and fourth grade? That was crazy. Fourth and fifth grade. Once you hit 26 to To 27 it's like whatever
Starting point is 00:16:25 I think that's also Perception though it's time perception right Where it's like every year in your Life when you're young is marked By transition so I've been thinking trust me I've been thinking about this for a while It preoccupies me Frequently so when you're a child
Starting point is 00:16:42 You know from 1st to 2nd Grade is a transition. From second to third, new teachers, sometimes new classmates. You have your friends, but sometimes those friends change. And that is your life. The only safe space you have, hopefully. Oh, boy. The only safe space you have.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Hopefully. I know for many people this is not the case. But hopefully for most people, it, being able to go home. Right. And, and so that's the only like normalcy you have the rest of your life is things change at school. You know, you're dealing with peer groups and there's, you know, and every year is different until you're 18 and then you go off to college and you have four years where you're kind
Starting point is 00:17:22 of in control of what you do, but everything is different. Everything's in flux. And so it's like a wild, crazy time. If you go to college, if you stay at home or you go to work, you start to have some sort of a certain point, after that first 20 years of life, life very much increasingly becomes longer stretches of doing the same thing, rather than things changing over the course of a year. So you can be 10 years later still doing the same thing, and be like, where'd the last 10 years go? Rather than when you were younger, where it was like, change, change, change, change. And now it's kind of like, all right, back on the grind.
Starting point is 00:18:09 And I think that we mark time differently as we get older because we do less and less overall changes in our life. And that's my theory. Is it true? I don't know. But that's my theory. Well, here's an article from two years ago. It says, it's not just you why time speeds up as we get older. How clock measures time and how you perceive it are quite different. As we grow older, it can often feel like time goes by faster and faster.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Speeding up of subjective time with age is well documented by psychologists. There's no consensus on the cause. He hypothesizes over time, the rate at which we process visual information slows down, and this is what makes time speed up as we grow older. As we age, he argues, the size and complexity of the network of neurons in our brain increases. Electrical signals must traverse greater distances, and thus signal processing takes more time. Moreover, aging causes our nerves to accumulate damage that provides resistance to the flow of electric signals, further slowing processing time. Focusing on visual perception, Behan posits that slower processing times result in us perceiving fewer frames per second.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Essentially, more actual time passes between the perception of each new mental image. This is what leads to time passing more rapidly when we are young each second of actual time is packed with many more mental images like a slow motion camera that captures a thousand images per second time appears to pass more slowly huh i mean i get it i don't know that that's where i was going with my thoughts but like i i mean i get it. I understand. It's kind of like when you watch a movie and like the Flash or Quicksilver runs really fast and everyone's standing still. Right. But that's, you know, that's young kids.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Young kids are running very fast and we're all like, oh, yeah, sure. I get it. Yeah, I guess that is true. Really, it's just you get older, you get smarter, you get dumber at the same time. What? What? What? Well, you get smarter.
Starting point is 00:20:19 You get older, you get smarter, you get dumber at the same time. You get smarter because you're better at like you know just thinking and processing information and you got experience and all that stuff behind you but your brain's getting older so it's slowing down being like hey electrical signals are going slow and you're like low fps but when you're a kid you're dumb because you have no experiences and you're just like and then but your brain's going super fast you're a kid You're dumb because you have no experiences And you're just like But your brain's going super fast So you're just like So what you're telling me
Starting point is 00:20:51 It's kind of like that movie where the guy takes a super pill And everything's like he registers things very quickly But he's older so he knows stuff Because kids are idiots So they don't know what to do with their super powers What you're telling me is children have super powers But they don't know how to activate them in smart ways While What you're telling me is children have superpowers, but they don't know how to activate them in smart ways. Well, when you're an adult, you don't have the superpower anymore, but you have the ability to activate it.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I get it. It makes perfect sense. I get you keep just being like, so it's like that one movie. It's like a movie, right? Yeah, like the other movie. I'm trying to make it relatable to the audience. I know what you're talking about, clearly. I'm not some idiot who has to rely on movies.
Starting point is 00:21:30 You're just doing it like, yeah, my friend doesn't understand this thing, so can you explain it like a kindergarten level? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing it for the audience, not for me. That was very nice of you. Thank you. It's like that movie. That guy was really nice to those people in that town Yeah
Starting point is 00:21:50 Also hey I made a post today I said hey it's the 300th episode Give us some of your Favorite conversations And we'll look back at them tonight And we got a lot of replies I'm gonna
Starting point is 00:22:08 Randomly go and like pick Some of them I'm just gonna scroll up And put my mouse on some of them and we'll Random I'm closing my eyes the first Stop is The holiday Log apparently everyone loves the yule Log oh yeah the yule
Starting point is 00:22:24 Log the yule log Is a the yule log the yule log is uh a classic it's when we discovered that there are weird things that people do all over the world and america doesn't have the monopoly on weird traditions yeah and then you know they yell shit log shit that's my favorite part shit log shit oh yeah i remember that now they beat up a log and the log poops out stuff and at the end it pees you know like any like any good holiday tradition all right scrolling up and pretty much anytime krendor mispronounces something, but that one that sticks out is acetaminophen. You mean acetosamophen? Oh, yeah, the acetaminophen.
Starting point is 00:23:10 I remember that. It was a good one. Yeah, classic. That's a classic episode. That's a classic. The kids love a classic. All right, scrolling up. And the young adult novel or elves, whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:22 I really like that one. Yeah. My favorite part is the way you remembered it. The young adult novel or elves, whatever. I really like that one. Yeah. My favorite part is the way you remembered it. The young adult novel about elves or whatever. I really like that one. Yeah. Elves or whatever. I really stuck with you, I see.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Elves or whatever is some dumb thing you guys are talking about. Scrolling up, we end up at the Florida Man story about the gold bars and aliens. You know what I realize? All of these are just Dan Tan animations. Really, that man is single-handedly keeping the show alive. That's true. Granted, maybe those are just very popular segments, and then he chose to animate them because of that.
Starting point is 00:24:03 I mean, that's true. segments and then he chose to animate them because of that i mean that's true but more likely more likely it's because dan's very good at his job well that's true as well uh all right scrolling up eyes closed and listening to you guys try to pronounce acetaminophen well there we go that's another one yep the kids love it. All right. And scrolling. Your MeUndies constantly getting stolen. Oh, no. Oh, that's true. I forgot that that had happened.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Oh, no. Well, the good news is it doesn't happen anymore because they deliver it to my office. So take that. Take that. Yeah. MeUndies. I hope everyone who gets MeUndies through us does not have theirs stolen. I don't know what happened.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Someone keep talking to them. Keep talking to my undies. Keep talking to them. Keep talking to them. All right. Scrolling up, scrolling up, scrolling up. Crendor going ham on League of Legends and his insults to waifus in the game. Again, Dantan. Again, Dantan.
Starting point is 00:25:05 Well, it's also just the stream. Like, every stream I've done. But this is specifically our show. Alright, scrolling up, scrolling up. That's true. Did I mention the other... From Dr. John. Dr. John got one here. Easy. The goat head bit.
Starting point is 00:25:22 The dolphin laughs until you nearly died from asphyxiation. Look, I was sick. That was when I had what probably was a form of COVID at this point. I was literally unable to breathe for a month, and Crandall was like, it's a goat head. I was dying. I was dying.
Starting point is 00:25:39 I remember that because it was E3, and then we ate breakfast at one place, and you went into the bathroom for like 30 minutes minutes and I was like, is he dead? I almost I was literally over the sink coughing nonstop. It was I was coughing so hard. I almost passed out. So you were almost dead. Yes, I almost there were some nights where I almost like I coughed so hard that I like literally couldn't. It was bad.
Starting point is 00:26:01 I was in a bad place. So, yeah, no, thanks thanks i don't ever want that again oh scrolling up say uh yeah other insult that wasn't denny's that i don't think i mentioned is that i called people mountain dew injectors it's one thing to like drink mountain dew but if you're injecting mountain dew especially code red That's like another level. Oh, yeah. If you're a Mountain Dew Code Red injector, that's a problem. Yeah. The one where you started talking about Love Island for some reason. I don't think we ever did.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Love Island? Maybe they mean that one show that was on. Are you the one? Yeah, are you the one? I mean, I would always talk about that show. I feel like, uh, love Island is definitely, I don't, I don't remember that. Yeah. Uh, I think that's what they mean.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Were you watching another podcast and then you just like associated? Oh, we'll take it. I'll take it. That's fine. Just take it. All right. Scrolling up, eyes closed and I want hot chocolate. You know what closed, and I want hot chocolate. You know what?
Starting point is 00:27:07 Ding. I want hot chocolate too. I don't even know why you said that. I don't know, but it became a goof for a long time. That's like on my stream. I don't remember half the things we do. That's like on my stream where I clap and then I do swag. I used to just say swag at the end because it was like a funny, like, hey, hey, everyone
Starting point is 00:27:24 says swag. I'm going to say it ironically, and now it's just what I say, and I'm like, I don't know why I still say this, but I do swag. I used to just say swag at the end because it was like a funny everyone says swag. I'm going to say it ironically and now it's just what I say. I'm like, I don't know why I still say this, but I have to. I can't stop. I mean, yeah, now I'm stuck with it. Even though I sometimes don't do that. I think I stopped for a while. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:27:42 A lot of people are mentioning Monkey Mondays. Everyone is upset by that. I was upset by that too. It really affected society, I think. I don't think we realize how much it affected us. They ruined Monkey Mondays, Grimdor. They did. There used to be a great day every week, and it was destroyed.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Where you could bring your monkey to the restaurant. And you could sit there and eat with your monkey at the restaurant. And then they ruined it because some kid pissed off a monkey. Oh, my God. I forgot we did the liquid chlorophyll. That was another goof we did. Yes, you're right. I forgot all about that one.
Starting point is 00:28:23 We also did that because that is a problem we have. Oh, my God. That lasted, I think, two episodes. It's pretty great. Oh, yeah. It was two episodes. Okay, here we go. And scrolling up.
Starting point is 00:28:41 The idea Crendor had a sloths riding capybaras into battle like a what? The idea Crandor had of sloths riding capybaras into battle like a Mongolian horde with the ride of the Rohirrim playing in the background. Honestly don't know if it's just me who made it up but I remember something being about sloths.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Now that is a fan. Now that is a fan. that is a fan honestly i don't even know if that's made up or not that could have been something i said or made up i love that yeah it was you know this whole thing i probably made it up that's most of the people who listen to this podcast i probably made up a conversation they had yes oh my god i'm scrolling through them too i found one said the first episode i listened to was episode 99 flying with imus jesse was talking about having an existential crisis on a flight home and crendor was talking about his new routine of watching imus in the morning dude i there's the thing is like i would watch imus in the morning. Dude, there's the thing. I would watch Imus in the morning for maybe two minutes
Starting point is 00:29:48 and it was just because I wanted to see what he was going to say because he was just like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. And I was like, oh shit, is this guy like alive? And then if he just started getting normal, being like, let's talk about the way
Starting point is 00:30:04 the government, and I'd be like, I don't care anymore, no, just change it. We were very different years ago. When people are like, dude, you changed, I'm like, you're right. What am I going to do? Be like, no, not me. I've always been the same. That's a lie. I definitely have changed.
Starting point is 00:30:24 It's like anything. What happens if a character in've always been the same. That's a lie. I definitely have changed. It's like anything. Like, what happens if a character in a book stayed the same? You know, like, people grow. I mean, growth is a relative term. I mean, I wouldn't say I grew, but I certainly expanded. I would say that's growing. Maybe you didn't grow. I don't think I did.
Starting point is 00:30:53 I don't think I did. So dumb. Well, we've certainly done a lot over the years. But one thing we haven't done is promote to you enough. Let me tell you a little about Honey. We all shop online. We all see that little promo field on checkout. And most of the time we don't enter anything there.
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Starting point is 00:33:00 great, great addition to your browser. Go to joinhoney.com slash cox. That's joinhoney.com slash cox. Also today we're brought to you by Calm. In a world of uncertainty, you can probably feel, I don't know, stressed or anxious. And that can be overwhelming sometimes. But if you want some good news you can navigate change feel more relaxed and quiet your mind with calm consider this like a mental health checkpoint in your day right how are you feeling are you anxious have you been sleeping well you're
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Starting point is 00:34:38 I cannot stress it enough. It gives you a time, like 10 minutes to just breathe. And sometimes we forget to just take a moment and breathe. Over 100 million people around the world use Calm to take care of their minds, sleep more, stress less, live better with Calm. Right now, go to calm.com for 40% off and unlimited access to Com's entire library. That's com.com slash cocks. All right, Crandall, let's go to Trump. You have something to say to the Crandall House of Traffic Out there.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Traffic out here is traffic-y. There's a lot of cars. There's a lot of bars. There's a lot of people standing outside bars. There's a lot of, uh... Oh my god, I forgot to bring up that article about the garlic. Uh...
Starting point is 00:35:31 There's a... Did you know that you can taste garlic with your feet? Shouldn't you save that for the fax? I guess I can save that for the fax. Uh... Thank you. I mean, you should, but also I really want to know what the hell you're talking about because that sounded crazy.
Starting point is 00:35:53 It sounded like you had a crazy moment. All right. Let's go to weather. Weather. All right. Weather time. Weather time. We got a weather request this past week, and I can't remember what it was. To weather. Weather. All right, weather time. Weather time.
Starting point is 00:36:09 We got a weather request this past week, and I can't remember what it was. We got a weather request, and I was like, dude, I got you. Hold on. Hold on. I'm going to find this weather request. While you're doing this, I'm going to mention the story about how last week I burned my tongue on some coffee. All right. And I was like, all right, whatever.
Starting point is 00:36:27 And then the next like night I was brushing my teeth and the area where I burned my tongue got like really salty. And I was like, what the shit? And then ever since then, my tongues like felt kind of like off, like with a weird salty taste. And I asked like my actual doctor, I asked Dr. John. They're just like, I don't know it sounds like your taste buds got messed up when you burned it or something and then someone in chat was like oh yeah I had that for a bit
Starting point is 00:36:51 so I don't know taste buds are weird great story great addition to the podcast alright Puerto Rico is the place that we were asked to cover I don't know where in Puerto Rico but I guess all of it? Puerto Rico is the place that we were asked to cover. I don't know where in Puerto Rico, but I guess all of it. All right, Puerto Rico.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Let's click the first one. Don't sound so excited. All right, Puerto Rico. Well, I thought it was going to be like somewhere in Puerto Rico. Like, you know. I was not told that. No. All right, we're going to Puerto Rico.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Quetta Columbia. No. What? Columbia? No. I was not told that, no. All right, we're going to Puerto Rico, Cueta, Colombia. No, what? Colombia, no. That's the first one that popped up. Colombia is not Puerto Rico. It says, okay, there's Puerto Rico, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Meta, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Pando, Bolivia, Puerto Rico, Canary Island, Spain,
Starting point is 00:37:42 Puerto Rico. I'm talking Puerto Rico. I'm talking Puerto Rico, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Canary Islands, Spain, Puerto Rico. I'm talking Puerto Rico. I'm talking Puerto Rico. San Juan, Puerto Rico. You think I know about geography? Just type in San Juan. Just type in San Juan. Alright, San Juan. Okay, there we go.
Starting point is 00:37:58 San Juan, Puerto Rico. Oh my god. Alright. 82 degrees Fahrenheit. Partly cloudy. 7% chance of rain. Today, it's going to feel like 90. 79% humidity.
Starting point is 00:38:14 30.06 inches of pressure. Visibility, 9 miles. Wind, 9 miles an hour. Out of the west. 602 a.m. sunrise. 658 p.m. dew point 75 uv index row of 10 in a waning crescent moon let's take a look at the 10 day since it's episode 300 i will activate woppy for the 10 day uh-oh woppy activated 87 degrees partly cloudy Monday. 24% chance precipitation.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Tuesday, 88 degrees Fahrenheit. Wednesday, 87 degrees Fahrenheit. Thursday, 89 degrees Fahrenheit. Mostly sunny. Friday, 89 degrees Fahrenheit. Mostly sunny. Saturday, 88 degrees Fahrenheit. Mostly sunny.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Sunday, 88 degrees Fahrenheit. Partly cloudy. Monday, 88 degrees Fahrenheit Partly cloudy Monday 88 degrees Partly cloudy You okay over there? I think he's good Alright That's your Puerto Rico weather I've always wanted to go to Puerto Rico
Starting point is 00:39:23 I've always One of these days I'll go You mean San Juan Puerto Rico weather. I've always wanted to go to Puerto Rico. I've always... One of these days I'll go. You mean San Juan? I mean, just the whole island. I'll go to San Juan. Yeah, sure. I'll do it.
Starting point is 00:39:37 It does look pretty crazy. It's got a bunch of colored buildings. Yeah, it's beautiful. I would love to go. My favorite part, the thing I just learned, is that it's actually the formal title is Municipio de la Ciudad Capital San Juan Bautista or the Municipality of Capital City St. John the Baptist.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Wowee. It's a lot. It's a lot. That is aist wow it's a lot it's a lot that is a lot it's a lot my favorite part is when you look up their website to learn more it says a lot about the americans who travel there here's another great example internet and television television internet access is available there you go There you go So just in case you're a little worried When you travel overseas You know just in case What time zone?
Starting point is 00:40:32 It's in the Atlantic Eastern time zone Wait it's in the eastern time zone I said that makes sense This is why I'm shocked you don't know about Puerto Rico I mean I still wouldn't be too shocked I don't know about Puerto Rico. I mean, I still wouldn't be too shocked. I don't know about a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:40:49 I know where a lot of states are. I know where Canada is. I know where Alaska is. I always know there's like that thing with Alaska where it's actually bigger than it is on the map or the globe or whatever. Right, but Puerto Rico is a literal commonwealth of the United States. We've been talking about statehood with Puerto Rico for a long time, whether it should or shouldn't, whether the people there want it to be or don't want it to be.
Starting point is 00:41:13 It's straight up like technically a part of the U.S. Oh, yeah. Even though a lot of people don't treat it as such. Yeah. That is interesting. That is interesting. You learn something new every day. You learn something new every day you learn something new every day all right let's go to sports sports welcome to the sports desk uh big sports news we'll start out with basketball the nba draft happened uh one of the big things from the nba draft russell uh
Starting point is 00:41:44 westbrook not wilson i was gonna say wilson he's with the NBA draft, Russell Westbrook, not Wilson. I was going to say Wilson. He's with the Seahawks. Westbrook traded to the Los Angeles Lakers, so now they have LeBron, Anthony Davis, and Russell Westbrook. That's going to be some wonky stuff over there. The Bulls might get Lonzo Ball.
Starting point is 00:42:02 That'll be interesting. NBA free agency starting tomorrow, or today, I guess, if this is uploaded. So that'll be fun. In baseball, the Cubs traded away literally everybody. So that was fun. And all the people they traded away all hit home runs and like their first at-bats for their new team. So that's pretty neat.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Great stuff. Great stuff. Good job, Cubs. uh great stuff great stuff good job cubs um then uh in the olympics i've actually been watching the olympics i'll just turn it on and be like what's going on the olympics diving was pretty crazy i saw the uh the british beat china and diving and it like stopped china from winning like a sweep of all the medals and diving uh also diving's crazy i didn't realize how much goes in the diving or a lot of these sports but then once you watch what do you mean by that like the the splash of the dive has to be very minimal otherwise they're like oh bad splash
Starting point is 00:42:58 like that gets taken into account just the synchronization of the two divers if it's two divers like there's a lot there's like one girl that messed up her dive so she didn't even dive in and just kind of flopped off then she like just like oh jesus like walked away um yeah like imagine it's like building up to that then that happens and you're like well uh but there's like some dives i'm like dude that was really good and then they're like oh terrible dive from that person you just saw the thing i was like some dives i'm like dude that was really good and then they're like oh terrible dive from that person you just saw the thing i was like oh yeah terrible dive i feel like that's everyone who watches a sport for the first time like wow that was great it's like no actually that was very bad that was terrible oh oh oh i was actually watching uh rugby i was watching men and women's
Starting point is 00:43:42 rugby i never really watched rugby before, and I can see how it branched into American football, but I think the crazy part about rugby is it's actually really fast. Like, the game's over in like 15 minutes. I was like, wow, that was fast. I didn't realize those matches were that quick. Is that true? They're that quick?
Starting point is 00:44:02 Yeah. Unless it's just an Olympic thing. Rugby match length. Is that true? They're that quick? Yeah. Unless it's just an Olympic thing. Rugby match length. Oh, this says 80 minutes with two halves of 40 minutes. I was about to say. I didn't know that that was true. But what? They're pretty short.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Maybe it's an Olympic thing. Hold on. Rugby match Olympics. Each team, every match except for the finals divided into two halves of seven minutes each for 14 minutes. Ah, so it's only the Olympics. Okay, that makes more sense. Because I was like, I know it was only seven minutes. So, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:44:37 I guess there are only 14 minutes in the Olympics. So you got to go all out. But it was honestly pretty fun watching that. And then, let's see, what else? archery archery was fun although i think i watched archery last week and brought it up but i kept watching it did you see the um oh high jump i think it was i didn't see any jumps so today yeah in the olympic high jumpers this guy guy from Italy and this guy from Qatar, both, I guess, are coming off like they had what could have been a career-ending injury. They both are like, you know, favorites.
Starting point is 00:45:16 And what ended up happening is they both jumped and landed the same distance. And then I guess they had other attempts, and they couldn't break that and so at the end the the judges were like okay so you guys are gonna have to have a jump off and then one of them asked do we have to and they're like not really and they're like okay and they both shook and we're like we're gonna share gold medal and so they both shared the gold medal and everyone like was really happy for the two of them and And I think it's supposed to be Qatar's first gold? I think. I think that's what it's supposed to be. I could be wrong on that.
Starting point is 00:45:50 But it was a beautiful moment, and of course the Italian guy was losing his mind, as you know. Italians is prone to do sometimes emotions. And it was great. The Qatari guy went back and talked with everyone and it was beautiful. But the whole moment was really beautiful and it was great. The Qatari guy went back and, like, talked with everyone, and it was beautiful.
Starting point is 00:46:05 But, like, the whole moment was really beautiful, and it was captured on film. But then, of course, the internet was like, is this what it's like now? We share medals? Is this what, a new generation of babies? And I was like, are you kidding me? These guys literally had multiple attempts, and when they were like, well, you can either do it, keep doing it, and keep trying to break your body, even though you guys came back from career-ending injuries,
Starting point is 00:46:28 or you can just share gold and be like, we did a thing. What are these babies? I'm telling you, on the internet, people are like, yeah. All these comments are just like, ugh, I can't believe that. Meanwhile, the other people are like, that was beautiful. But then, you know, I mean, I'm not going to make any qualitative statements,
Starting point is 00:46:51 but I think you can guess what kind of people were like, ugh, these babies. I would make a wild guess that it's the same people that watch, like, American football, and they're like, I threw that ball over his head if I was back there how to throw it I could have made that throw in my sleep yeah even though they're not taking into account like hey I'm about to get hit by like a six foot seven 300 pound guy if I don't make this throw accurately and I'm gonna get hit anyway oh and now I got a shattered spleen and rib cage it reminds me of that old bill burr goof like a long time ago we did that uh stand-up bit about um people who like harass
Starting point is 00:47:32 professional athletes and then that one fight that broke out in the basketball game oh yeah at least ran out the stands and beat the crap out of it and everyone was like what a disgrace terrible and it's like i don't know they deserved it yeah i remember that he also did a thing where he talked about how he hated uh sports radio like a lot of people at bars just regurgitate sports radio thing like they'll hear on the radio like this guy's got a clock in his head and he's gotta count one two throw the ball and he's just not doing and then they'll like go tell everybody at the bar and everything like he's got a clock in his head and he's just not doing it. And then they'll, like, go tell everybody at the bar and they'll be like, he's got a clock in his head and he's just got to throw the ball at one, two seconds. The best part is that voice you just did
Starting point is 00:48:10 is 100% the exact Bill Burr. I know that voice. I know the, I've got a clock in his head. I know it. Go for a fact. That's the voice he would use. I listened to his podcast for, like, a year straight.
Starting point is 00:48:21 I haven't listened to it in a while, but it was just him being like, why are you, it's like with the Boston Walking A dude Like here's a quote Like I can't believe those two high jumpers Shared gold whatever happened to competitive spirit
Starting point is 00:48:33 May as well hand the participation gold medal Out from now on Like that kind of vibe Like ugh Yeah this person The Olympics gave two high jumpers a shared gold medal Welcome to 2021 where the Olympics everyone gets gold Like get over yourself Yeah this person The Olympics gave two high jumpers a shared gold medal Welcome to 2021 where the Olympics
Starting point is 00:48:46 Everyone gets gold Like get over yourself That is such an obtuse way to look at reality These two guys Both of them came back from shit Both of them were like We struggled to get here And at the end of the day
Starting point is 00:49:02 Rather than like Risk one of them getting hurt for literally jumping, just jumping. They were like, you know what? We both deserve this shit. Like, we both deserve it.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Like, that's fine. They need to have like a, they need to have like a normal person compete in everything. Just like, here's all the athletes and here's Joe Smith from Kentucky. He'll be competing. It's like they all just pass and he's just still running.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Gary, where's my bush light? Yeah. The good news is most people are like, this is pretty beautiful. Although then there are people like this guy who's like, share gold medal, my arse. Should share silver. Complete mockery of the sport. I need to like this guy who's like, Share gold medal, my arse. Should share silver.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Complete mockery of the sport. I need to click this guy's profile. The best part about this is his profile is like a, you know, when you go to the beach or the boardwalk or a fair, there's a person who draws big head versions of people. Oh, yeah. Right? This is that, except he has a rugby outfit on so like yeah he's he 100 is like a tough guy for sure for sure he's a tough guy oh what a
Starting point is 00:50:17 mockery get out of town the the other thing i saw was handball now handball was the one thing i didn't really understand. Because to me, it felt like I was watching a gym class. You know what I mean? Because I don't think I've ever seen handball played outside of gym class. Are you talking about the thing where you hit the ball against the wall with your hand? That's wall ball. Oh.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Handball. I didn't even. I didn't even. You said it with such like, that's wall ball, idiot bad sorry i'm gonna tweet about you with my big ass guys handball is like you bounce the ball and you can like go forward and back without dribbling it but sides you gotta dribble or something you pass and then you just throw the ball at the net it's like playing hockey or soccer but with your hands so you like throw the ball yeah that's what i'm saying when i turned around i was like what is this so i looked it up and they're like handball and i was like i don't think i've ever played i think the one time i played
Starting point is 00:51:17 handball was gym class so it just gave me like gym class flashbacks so it was like watching ball top tier athletes at a like something related to gym class and i was like this is so weird hand i swear if you just if you whatever you describe to me i still think of just hitting a ball against the wall with your hand i just i guess way more handball that seems like hand ball wall perfect Perfect sense. To call that wall ball, that's insane. To me, that's insane. But all right, handball. Yeah, so I mean, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:51:52 I'm all down for more handball. It was pretty fun to watch, but I think the matches should be shorter, though. Because I was watching it for like 15 minutes, and I'm like, oh, do they play like 20 minutes or something and they're like all right we're almost at halftime which will be at like 30 minutes or something i was like what i was like this would be great if it was like 20 minutes long i'd be like all right this is great but it went on a little too long for me i i find that with a lot of sports sometimes we're're just like, this is... These guys should have left 45 minutes ago. There's definitely some baseball sometimes.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Not because it's not... Four hours. Not because it's not a skilled... It's not the game. I'm thinking of it in the entertainment aspect. And you're right. Baseball's that thing for me. Where baseball, I'm like, look, this could all be wrapped up in five innings. Nine?
Starting point is 00:52:47 We don't need nine. I can definitely. The fact that we have to have a stretch after seven says a lot. Like, it'll be done in five. That's why they're actually struggling with that, because they're trying to reduce the game time, because all the other major sports like basketball, hockey, and everything, they last a little over two hours.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Then NFL is usually like three. And then baseball is like basketball, hockey, and everything like that. They last like a little over two hours. Then NFL is usually like three. And then baseball is like four hours today, and we're going over that to extra innings. And you're like, oh, my God. The reason why football is so long is because of all the commercial breaks. Yeah, if it didn't have any commercials, it would probably be like two, two and a half hours. Yeah, if there wasn't commercials,
Starting point is 00:53:19 it would be just as long as a high school football game. Yeah. You know, but every time there's a turnover, every time there's, the ball changes hands, it's like, all right, and this is brought to you by Carl's Jr. All right. Great, cool. Yeah, they, like, kick the ball off.
Starting point is 00:53:38 You're like, here we go. They're like, and here's a commercial. Then they come back, like, all right, first play, and here's another commercial. You're like, all right. Yeah. No, football commercials suck. That's why I don't watch.
Starting point is 00:53:51 I'll record it and watch it later. But I don't watch football live. I can't do it anymore. I'll just record through stuff. Because the amount of time and investment. That's why I can't watch baseball. The amount of time and investment that you have to put in to something that I i'm like i like it but i'm not like in love with it i'm like i need to know more i'm very much in love with nfl football so i do watch all day and uh i watch through the
Starting point is 00:54:17 ads but you know usually i'll watch a packer game through like all the ads and stuff but if it's like another game i'll usually be doing something else as i watch but packer game through like all the ads and stuff. But if it's like another game, I'll usually be doing something else as I watch. But Packer game, I'm like locked in. And I'm just like, why is he calling this defense again? He lined it up, but he's putting him on the... Speaking of which, Aaron Rodgers is back. That'll be fun. Yeah, speaking of which, there you go.
Starting point is 00:54:43 So I'm excited. This is essentially the last dance is what they're saying. This is like Aaron Rodgers and the That'll be fun. Yeah. Speaking of which, there you go. So I'm excited. This is essentially the last dance is what they're saying. This is like Aaron Rodgers and the Packers final run before we become mediocre again. So I'm going to enjoy it. I mean that's sports. This is a long ass sports. Yeah. Alright
Starting point is 00:54:57 Crandor, what is the fact that it's probably about? What was it? Toe garlic? Toe garlic. Alright. What does this mean? what does that mean first up let me just say that i forgot that the winter olympics are like six months away so we could possibly have like super close olympics which is really weird i'm excited for once again i think we need to only cover curling ignore the rest of it only cover curling oh yeah honestly i like the winter olympics a little more, I think.
Starting point is 00:55:26 I think there's some... I don't know. I don't know what it says. The Winter Olympics speaks to me on a level where it seems like I could probably do some of those sports. You could be the normal guy they put in to compete. Summer Olympics is way too physical. Winter Olympics, you bundle up and you fall down a hill and they're like, you did it.
Starting point is 00:55:48 Well, I wouldn't That'll be a quote years ago or years later. You're like, did I say that? That seems like something you would say. First up, I wanted to throw this fact in because it's short and kind of wacky. Tornadoes used to be called
Starting point is 00:56:03 twirl blasts and twirl winds in the 18th century. I love twirl winds. That's a great. Twirl winds. There's a twirl wind out there in the field. Oh, and I guess twirl wind then became whirl wind, right? Yeah. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:56:19 It makes sense. Because, I mean, back then, you're not like tornado. You'd be like, that's a twirl wind going around. Exactly. Twirl blaster. I love that back then, you're not like tornado. You'd be like, that's a twirlwind coming around. Exactly. Or a twirl blaster. I love that. Then we've got the garlic article. Where did it go? I lost it.
Starting point is 00:56:38 Here it is. You can taste garlic with your feet. What does that mean? I don't... You're literally going to make me go do this. You know that, mean we gotta try it garlic's a listen can go through the protective layers of your skin if there are two types of people in this world people who think there's no such thing as too much garlic and people who are wrong no matter group you fall into it's like fascinating science experiments you'll want to try tasting garlic through your feet and the latest installment of the weird foot trick series the american chemical society shows you both how and why this works to try it out yourself cut a piece of fresh garlic
Starting point is 00:57:15 in half then in a separate room that doesn't smell like garlic take off your shoes and socks and place your feet into the plastic bag with the piece of garlic. After an hour, you'll be able to both taste and smell the garlic. Here's how. Your skin has oily, watery layers, which makes it good at protecting you from outside molecules. However, garlic contains a molecule called alysin, which has properties of both water and oil. Because of this, it can permeate the skin
Starting point is 00:57:45 in your feet and travel through your blood all the way to your mouth and nose you'll swear you can taste garlic and the room has a strong garlicky odor time all right time out so they want me to go in they want me to cut garlic then put garlic in a bag go into a different room put my foot in that garlic probably like wrap it up in some way so the garlic can't seep out through my foot in the bag And then sit there for an hour And then be like Well you're probably going to start smelling garlic Well of course you are
Starting point is 00:58:13 Well Now what's even worse is now your foot Is 100% That foot is going to stink like garlic forever And you might say you'll just wash it Nope that's not how that shit works Your foot is going to stink like garlic forever. And you might say you'll just wash it. Nope. That's not how that shit works. Your foot is going to stink.
Starting point is 00:58:28 It's one of those things where they're just like the garlic, the olison travels through your blood all the way to your mouth. And someone's going to be like, if you've got blood disease, you need to put garlic in your feet. I guarantee that's why. Look, I've dated a few people that are like, you know, the best cure is put onions in your socks. And you're like, no, no, no, I'm good. So I feel like that's probably the same thing. Like, if you want to get rid of a cold, stick a cut up onion in your socks. Like, it just reminds me that people until recently stank.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Most people smelled so badly. And so I feel like when we complain about, like, oh, we went to this convention, everyone there was stinky. I feel like that's just us complaining, and it's a recent thing. Most people stank. Like, oh, I'm getting over this cold, so I rub my body down with garlic oil. Yeah. No, I think you're right. So, I mean, if you want to try it,
Starting point is 00:59:30 do it and report back. I can't try it. I can't complain about how three hours of a football game is too much time for me. And then just sit around with an hour of garlic on my foot. You're not doing something. You literally do it at your desk. Why would I come to the office, wrap my foot. You act like you're not doing something. You literally do it at your desk. Why would I come to the
Starting point is 00:59:47 office, wrap my foot in garlic and be like, hey, everybody, I'm just going to be over here with my garlic foot. I don't know how I would explain that to anyone. For an experiment.
Starting point is 00:59:56 No, that's not an experiment. I want to. Sometimes, Crenn, this is like Jurassic Park. We're too busy wondering if we could to think about whether we should.
Starting point is 01:00:10 All right. We're too busy wondering if we could To think about whether we should Alright fair enough Either way report back to us if you do Yeah if any of you Jurassic Park your foot report back to us That's your random facts What other big news story Big News story Of the day That's your random facts. What other big news story? Big news story of the day. Man in contraption washes up in Florida after trying to run on water.
Starting point is 01:00:38 All right. I have so many questions. I'm going to start with man in contraption. It's like a phrase I never thought. I'm going to let you man in contraption. It's like a phrase I never thought I... I'm going to let you tell this story, but I want you to know I better learn what the contraption is, because man with contraption... You want me to show you now or later? I'll wait. I'll wait.
Starting point is 01:00:56 Alright. A man who wanted to run on water from Florida to New York has washed up on the Floridian coast in a large hamster wheel like contraption. He didn't even make it out of Florida. However, he ended up 30 miles south of his starting point in St. Augustine. He went south!
Starting point is 01:01:21 Riza Baluchi told local media he was traveling a thousand miles north from Flores East Coast. Mr. Baluchi encountered complications that brought him back to shore and was safe with no injuries. The U.S. Coast Guard then came to help him. The sheriff's office added to ensure the vessel and occupant are USCG compliant for their safety moving forward. SCG compliant for their safety moving forward. Images taken by the sheriff's office show a large human-sized cylindrical container with multiple floating devices attached to each side. Mr. Bellucci told local station Fox 35 News he was raising money for public services, including the Coast Guard.
Starting point is 01:02:01 He added that he had tried to make journeys in the contraption, which he calls his bubble before. In 2014 he had to be rescued from a similar contraption near St. Augustine and then two years later he again had to be rescued off the coast of Jupiter near
Starting point is 01:02:17 Palm Beach. I will show people anything you want to do do it. He told Fox don't listen to anyone. Chase your dreams. Unless your dream is really dumb. Unless your dream is like, oh my god, what is this?
Starting point is 01:02:38 I thought it was literally a bubble. But it's not. It's like a metal cage and then on the side are multiple what look like bouncing balls. Yeah. And then basically two water wheels on the side. Yeah, it looks like those water wheels from steamboats.
Starting point is 01:03:02 Yeah, and then I guess it's him running like a hamster on on an actual hamster wheel and then it's supposed to but the thing is is he has no i see no rudder yeah so i don't i think oh this is what this is the problem i know there's a name for it but there's a name like there's a thing where dumb people are so dumb they don't know how dumb they are, so they think they're smart. And there's a name for it. And this guy is that. That sounds like me in 2013.
Starting point is 01:03:37 This guy is that. This guy is so dumb he doesn't understand what he's doing is dumb. He thinks it's like, follow your dreams. You can achieve anything you want. And it seems like in his mind, he's like, oh, I'm going to run directionally north and I'll get there.
Starting point is 01:03:56 But he's not accounting for wind, tide, currents. There's a million things that can change. I'm surprised this dude, maybe the reason why he was saved by the can change. I'm surprised this dude maybe the reason why he was saved by the Coast Guard I'm surprised this dude hasn't been pulled out to sea. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Sucked out into the Atlantic, gone forever. Yeah, that is it is actually pretty impressive that he has not sailed away into some stranded place. He's like a survivor. There's literally,
Starting point is 01:04:28 you know, when people swim the English channel, they don't do it alone. There are boats that follow them. There are people that have maps and courses and charts and they're like rescue. Like they have all these things there. This guy's like, follow your dreams,
Starting point is 01:04:41 run on the water. If you want, that is insane. This isn't, this isn't a dream worth following. your dreams. Run on the water if you want. That is insane. This isn't a dream worth following. Yeah, this is a little crazy. 99% of the time I would say follow
Starting point is 01:04:53 your dreams. I would agree with this guy. But if your dream is to get in a giant metal mesh wheel and get on the ocean and not get caught with the need to call life. I can't even. This is insane.
Starting point is 01:05:09 I'm blown away that this exists. I can't even with this. I'm so angry that this guy exists. I mean, honestly, make it an Olympic sport. Let's go. Do you know? I mean, that would work, yes. Do you know what he looks like?
Starting point is 01:05:28 Because in my mind, I have an image, and I kind of need to know what he looks like. I don't see anything about what he looks like. Florida wheel man. Florida wheel man is going to get you. Not what you think. I don't see any pictures of it. Hold on. Oh, wait.
Starting point is 01:05:53 Here we go. There's a thing I can click. Riza Baluchi. All right. He's got a website. He's got a website. All right. He's got a website. He... Alright, he's got a website. He...
Starting point is 01:06:10 Oh, wait, is this him? Oh, yeah, this is him. Age 44, Riza Baluchi. Oh, yeah, there he is. If you just Google Riza Baluchi. I don't know how to spell his name. Here, Riza... If you just Google Reza Baluchi I don't even know how to spell his name Uh Here Reza Go to that and then go to Google Images
Starting point is 01:06:32 You'll see Reza Baluchi on it Wow He looks kind of like what I thought He would look like Like he definitely has that. He has, like, the face of a guy who's like, I don't take no for an answer. He does.
Starting point is 01:06:49 He's got a little bit of Mad Scientist vibe to him. Also, I love his, oh, my God. So, his contraption. You can see, here's the thing. I will, you know what? I'm going to take back some of the things I said about him. All right. Because I thought he used The same wheel
Starting point is 01:07:07 You can see He's actually Sciencing the shit Out of this Yeah It's not correct science But it's like So like
Starting point is 01:07:14 You can see His first one Was straight up a ball Yeah Like just a ball And then He added You know
Starting point is 01:07:22 Like a cage to the ball And then he added Things on the side. And you can see, like, over time, different sized orbs, like, I guess, orbs of air on the side. And then he got rid of the ball in the middle and just made a more solid cage. You know what? I'm actually kind of impressed. It's ridiculous, but it's kind of impressive.
Starting point is 01:07:47 He actually has a bunch of YouTube videos on him. If you want to learn about him, he's got a bunch of documentary things. Yeah, I'm kind of impressed. Yeah. Normally, I'd be like, this guy is like cuckoo bananas, but here's the thing. He's mad scientist crazy yeah he's like a athletic mad scientist that's just trying to you know fulfill his dream and help people here's the thing i'm i'm all right with that before i was like oh this is crazy but now that
Starting point is 01:08:18 i see photos of his progress over time over years i'm pretty impressed Like that's a dedication to a craft And he's trying to get better And I will say this version is better Than the previous ones Yeah It still isn't going to get you there But It seems like it would be much easier
Starting point is 01:08:39 To float and move Yeah that is Honestly I like this guy float and move. Yeah, that is... Honestly, I like this guy. Yeah, I actually kind of like this guy. I think it's crazy, but it's our kind of crazy. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:08:54 It took a minute to come around. I had to see this man to truly look into his eyes and be like, he's not an idiot. He's just our kind of crazy. And that's honestly honestly that's the perfect perfect story for this 300 episode it really is 300 episodes we're not idiots we're just are kind of crazy well back in 2013 i was an idiot but i, I think we all were. All right! That's it for us. Thanks so much for listening and watching.
Starting point is 01:09:28 However you enjoyed this podcast, Crendor, hit up the socials. Socials. You can see all 300 episodes on youtube.com slash coxandcrendorpodcast. All up there on YouTube. Also, cut off the podcast part. Go to youtube.com slash coxandcrendor. All the animations are up there.
Starting point is 01:09:41 Just uploaded the new one with the massage gun, so check that out. Also, we're on Spotify. We're on iTunes. We're on SoundCloud. Most podcast places. You can listen over there. Also, watch us on our own stuff.
Starting point is 01:09:54 We got twitch.tv slash jessicox. Twitch.tv slash Crendor. YouTube jessicox. YouTube Crendor. Facebook jessicox. Facebook Crendor. YouTube Warhammer Crendor. If you like Warhammer, you just saw Jesse paint.
Starting point is 01:10:05 Saw me paint. Go watch me paint even more. Also, Instagram, Notorious Cox. Instagram, Crendor is taken. Patreon, Jesse Cox. Patreon, Crendor. I guess that's it. Okay.
Starting point is 01:10:20 Thanks so much. We'll see you all next time. And as always, I want some hot chocolate.

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