Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 313 - Wrong Room

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

The boys are back and this time Jesse has beef with downtown LA. Meanwhile Crendor discovers weird video games, to Jesse's joy. Also a man surfs for way too long and Sweden somehow gets multiple show ...outs in a single episode. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor Go to http://hellotushy.com/cox to get 10% off plus free shipping! Visit http://joinhoney.com/cox to get Honey for free.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by Tushy. Tushy is here to take care of you, Tushy, which is the name of the company. So, you know, also today we're brought to you by Honey. Honey is not what, you know, it's here to save you money. It's not actually honey. So, unlike Tushy, it's not really, you know what? Never mind. Let's jump into this podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:22 Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dogags and Grendel in the Morning. Grifo is up next, Grendor in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Gags and Grendor in the morning! Hey, how's it going? You know what? Pretty good. Everything's like, you know, everything's firing in all cylinders. Did live shows this week, working on video game stuff, doing all sorts of things, you know.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Wow. I know. I did see the live shows went well from what I saw of tweets, at least. I mean, it's not as good as the Cox and Crandor live show. Well, I mean, yeah. This December 12th, go to coxandcrandor.com for your tickets. Yeah. I mean, come on. The show's got Mathis in it, you know?
Starting point is 00:01:26 It's got David Davis. Yeah, nerd. Not going to be as cool. By the way, Mathis looks like a more run-down version of me now. I don't know how to take that. You're like, what a run-down version of me. that you're like what a run down version of me I'm just saying
Starting point is 00:01:45 it looks like me if I never went to the gym and didn't sleep damn Crandor coming in you can't let this stand I don't need the two of you to fight I mean yeah I'd be down for it
Starting point is 00:02:02 HBO HBO will want that they'll definitely battle of the jesus's which jesus will be more jesus uh i will say i like the i do like the mathis uh look i think i think the long hair does fit him the only reason why i know he's not homeless is because he has like you know new clothes on every day is that that's that that look yeah because y'all every one of y'all starting to get there everyone
Starting point is 00:02:33 it's like every guy with darkish hair and a beard has decided to let both grow out every single person I know long ass hair huge beard, all like hundreds. This is like that's the
Starting point is 00:02:49 skinny guy nerd equivalent of me. Because every time I meet a fat dude, he's always got a red beard and he looks exactly like, holy crap. I don't know if you've seen this, Krenner, speaking of which. Alright. I might have said this on this podcast, but I don't care because I just reminded it again right now.
Starting point is 00:03:06 A few weeks ago, Alex found a video of him watching some dude do like a celebrities that are in cyberpunk, right? And then it's like famous influencer and streamer Jesse Cox. And I was like, oof, that's not true. But the crazy thing is, is he says this and then it shows a photo of me and bro it's not me it is some other person it's like famous streamer Jesse Cox
Starting point is 00:03:33 and then it's just someone else but the thing is is cause there is just like there is a large contingent of like thin dudes with dark hair long beard there is also fat dude with red hair and like glasses. And he just found another one. It is just another guy who looks very similar to me, but is not me.
Starting point is 00:03:56 And what's crazy about it is we look so similar that I honestly believe that could have been me if I just stayed teaching and like got married and had kids. He looks like the kind of guy who definitely has a family And he's definitely like a little Over it That is exactly What I would have been And yeah I'm the fun version of that guy
Starting point is 00:04:18 Whoever he is I hope he's doing well But it's crazy it looks nothing Like me but at the same time I get how there could be a mistake but it's weird that he's like YouTuber Jesse Cox streamer and then couldn't find my picture?
Starting point is 00:04:34 Where'd he get that photo from? We typed in Jesse Cox on Google and like there's no way that guy could have gotten to that photo. So he just randomly put it there which is even funnier. I don't know who this dude is. That is pretty crazy, honestly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:50 So it just goes to prove my point. Nerds fall into categories. That's true. I mean, Davis is like the opposite. He used to have the long hair and the beard, and now he's like Harry Potter'ster's dad i tweeted that he just moved from one group of nerd to another group of nerd yeah no it went from like yeah he went from like you know crazy scraggly almost homeless nerd to harry potter nerd and then the transition all it is is a nice haircut and a shave and you're fine yeah that's true yeah uh and then you know alex is just alex haircut and a shave. And you're fine. Yeah. That's true, yeah. And then, you know, Alex is just Alex.
Starting point is 00:05:27 In fact, I think his beard has gotten crazier. Here's the thing. Alex isn't a nerd. That's true. Alex is nerd adjacent. He's like a dude who earns his living from nerdery. But he's like a different kind of guy. A different guy. That should be his slogan. A different kind of guy. a different kind of guy a different guy that should be the slogan a different
Starting point is 00:05:46 kind of guy different kind of guy uh i feel like i've morphed into more of that because a different kind of different kind of guy kind of guy well i used to be like the the like type of nerd where i'm like i'm pretty cool i'm pretty smart and I'm pretty smart. And then I had like my, you know, it was like prime 2014 Crendor. But now I've morphed into more of like the jock nerd. I don't think you've morphed into it. You've always sort of, I think you and I exist in the world of closet nerdetry. Where we like, like nerdy things, but it isn't like our focus in life. I mean, we've been to places where you and I have both been like.
Starting point is 00:06:28 What? That would make us not nerds then. I mean, I don't know. I'd still say we are both. If I had to judge, if I was an alien outside looking in, I would say, well, only someone who's a nerd would say if I was an alien outside looking in. So, you know know I definitely think We are nerds for sure But in the stratosphere of nerds
Starting point is 00:06:50 We've been places where we're like nah This is too nerdy for us There's a scale Yeah there's a scale of nerdetry It's like how we mentioned before I'm like a sports nerd If anything I know too much about sports but that makes me A a sports nerd, if anything. I know too much about sports, but that makes me a big sports nerd.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Which is weird because that's socially acceptable. If you were to have a guy, if you were to have two guys and one guy was like rattling off sports scores and like stats on players versus a guy who was like, well, the AT-AT is an armored troop transport personnel carrier from Star Wars used in the Battle of Hoth. There's no difference except one is fake and one is just like a bunch of BS that
Starting point is 00:07:32 you're really into things. That's all it is. Yeah, exactly. Moral of the story being Cox and Crandor Live top tier quality program. It is. It is top quality content. Yeah. Speaking of, oh my God, speaking of live shows.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Also, I make fun of Mathis. Somebody's going to be like, Crandor's being pretty mean to Mathis. All right, he's a friend. Plus, he doesn't sleep. I see his tweets all the time. Yeah. Well, anxiety, it'll get you. Not me.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I'm fine Can I tell you, I This is way off topic, it has nothing to do with I'll let you choose, where do we go? Do we go way off topic or do we stick to talking about shows? Let's go Give it one more show Then we'll transfer off
Starting point is 00:08:22 Okay, I hope I remember what the hell I was going to say Anyway, so We're at the live show and we're setting up give it one more show, then we'll transfer off. Okay. I hope I remember what the hell I was going to say. Anyway, so we're at the live show, and we're setting up, and this is Tuesday, so we're doing Chaluminati. And we have never been to this theater before. Everyone's super chill. Everything's great. And Alex is like, hey, where's the green room at? I want to go work on some stuff.
Starting point is 00:08:41 And the guy's like, oh, it's just around the corner, just around the corner. So Alex vanishes, and he comes back 30 minutes later. It's like, okay, I got it all set up. And so we started putting parts of the show together. And I was like, oh, hey, is there a bathroom in the green room? He's like, no, dude, it's actually kind of small. I'm like, oh, that sucks. All right, well, I'm going to go find the bathroom. So I go to the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:09:00 I come back. I'm like, where's the green room at? He's like, yeah, go up these stairs and around this corner. So there's this little tiny stairwell, and I, go up these stairs and like around this corner. So there's this like little tiny stairwell and I'm like going up the stairs and up into this room. And it is like a box, like a little box of a room. And I was like, what a, like this, there's no bathroom in here. There's no like mirrors or anything. There's, it's just like a room. Like what the hell kind of room is this? So I'm hanging out up there and doing my stuff and there's no drinks or anything. So I'm hanging out up there And doing my stuff
Starting point is 00:09:25 And there's no drinks or anything So I'm like you know I'm gonna go get a drink I go downstairs down to where the bar's at And I'm like hey dude Can we get some drinks upstairs in the green room Like I don't There's nothing in there and I don't know We put in a bunch of requests for stuff
Starting point is 00:09:40 But I don't see anything And he's like wait what I'm like yeah there's nothing in there He's like no I put a bunch of stuff in there like earlier. I was like, no, there's, there's nothing. There's literally nothing in there. There's like an old Red Bull. I don't know whose it is, but it's not ours. And he's like, well, come with me. And so the guy leads me down the hallway past the stairs that Alex went up, opens another door, and inside
Starting point is 00:10:07 is a giant like 15 couch green room with like multiple fridges filled with food and drinks. And I was like, shut up. Shut up. And he was like, yeah, I said around
Starting point is 00:10:24 the corner. Did you not find it? I was like, no. I was going by what my friend said. And he went upstairs. He's like, no, don't go upstairs. Dude was like, no, don't. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And I was like, I can't believe this.
Starting point is 00:10:38 He's like, yeah, upstairs is like where the crew goes when they don't want to like watch a show or whatever and they hang out until it's over. And I was like, so this is the green room?'s like yeah it was like an apartment and i was like shut up saying okay well it was amazing the biggest one i've ever seen in my life and it was just us being like totally oblivious to his existence and uh yeah it was ridiculous i uh alex and mathis were upstairs in the little small room and i walked up there and was like alright guys we gotta pack up and leave And they're like what? And I'm like we just gotta pack up and leave
Starting point is 00:11:09 And they're like what do you mean? I'm like don't ask any questions we just have to leave right now They're like what are you talking about? I'm like just come on let's go And they were very worried that we were being kicked out And they were like is the show over? I'm like just come with me just follow me Walked them downstairs out the door
Starting point is 00:11:24 And like opened into this giant. And they were just like, what the hell is this? I was like, this is where we're supposed to be before the show. There was pizza. There was snacks. There was chips and dip. There was film and stuff. And we were like, can we get some water maybe?
Starting point is 00:11:43 There was like beers, like 18 beers. And I was like, how did we miss this? This is ridiculous. Who was the one that thought the main one you went to first was the green room? Alex. Alex was like, I just thought that's what it was. I just picture Alex leading you into a basement with just nothing there, like pipes. He's like, yeah, it's the green room.
Starting point is 00:12:06 That's what I'm saying. It was that except one floor up instead of a basement. So we went up a bunch of stairs, and then we ended up in this little small room. And it had one crappy fold chair and then a countertop with a mini fridge. And the mini fridge had, Red Bull in it. And that was, that was it. That was all that was in this room. And we were just like, well, I guess this is us.
Starting point is 00:12:32 And the guy was like, no, I've been here since like noon setting up for you. And I was like, oh, oh, okay. So yeah, then the show went well and everything was fine. Oh, okay. So, yeah, then the show went well, and everything was fine. And then at the end of the night, I walked out to my car to head home. And I get to my car, and I see next to the car the case where I usually keep a microphone, like, sitting next to the car. Like, what?
Starting point is 00:12:58 That was in my trunk. What? I examine my car. There's no sign of a break-in, no sign of nothing. Someone, somehow, broke into my car. There's no sign of a break-in, no sign of nothing. Someone somehow broke into my car. I don't know how. I can't tell you why. I don't know how.
Starting point is 00:13:21 They clearly must have some type of thing that opens up cars that have remote control opening. I don't know how. Like, nothing was broken. Nothing. But it was clearly broken into. And I vividly remember locking the car because it makes a loud-ass beep. So I was like, what the hell? So I open the trunk.
Starting point is 00:13:36 My trunk is empty. Here's the thing. My trunk only had one box of clothes for Goodwill and that suitcase. But there was nothing in the suitcase. It was just the thing i was going to take the office to then fill with stuff so they i guess took all the clothes for goodwill and then left the suitcase because nothing was in there and i go around to the front of my car and it's very clear that they rummaged through the glove box because all the papers were on the floor but i don't keep anything in the glove box except for like paperwork for the car
Starting point is 00:14:10 so there was nothing in there for them to take then i realized that in my little in-between seat thing is where i kept my sunglasses so they stole my prescription sunglasses crendor so i was so i was pissed off about that i was like timeout you took my prescription sunglasses you can't even use those and then the change compartment that's on sort of the left side of my steering wheel, none of the change was taken. It is filled with like $8.25, not one quarter taken. What the shit? And I was like, wait, so they came and broke into my car and stole all the clothes for goodwill, i guess okay i guess you needed that i
Starting point is 00:14:46 don't know and then prescription sunglasses and that's it that's all they took and i was so outraged that they took my glass i don't care about the anything else but those sunglasses that's 500 bucks and their prescription so i was so pissed i was like are you kidding me that is the third time that's happened in my life where someone has stolen my sunglasses, prescription sunglasses. Once in Ohio, twice in LA. It is like a thing. And it makes me so mad.
Starting point is 00:15:17 The last time I had prescription sunglasses was four years ago when they were stolen. Then I didn't buy new ones until just two months ago, bought new ones, stolen. Insane. Insane to me. So yeah, that's what happened. And then I was like, well, cool. And then as we were trying to figure out what was going on in the car,
Starting point is 00:15:36 like a dude who I'm going to say probably was the guy who stole it, walked by with like a little dog and he was like, what's going on here? He looked, I'm going to say four foot 10 and like one of those little tiny buff dudes right what's going on here and i was like my car got broken into he's like no way someone's been breaking into cars in this lot i'm like yeah you don't say he's like yeah i think he has a thing that opens cars that have remote controls so he knows how to get in and get out because
Starting point is 00:16:05 it doesn't break anything and i was like this is a problem you've been having he's like oh yeah for weeks like why aren't why don't you have security and he's like oh i don't know i don't work here and i was like wait a minute this guy definitely stole from me i was like there's no way so that's what happened that that's what uh that's what my tuesday was like i was I was like, there's no way. So that's what happened. That's what my Tuesday was like. Everyone was like, you want to come out drinking? I was like, no, I'm going to go home and try to figure out what was
Starting point is 00:16:34 stolen from me. I guess I'll go home and figure it out. Cool. Downtown LA, it's a treat. It's a real treat. Everybody just wants to go to downtown LA. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. The venue was lovely. The evening was great.
Starting point is 00:16:51 But the city, downtown LA, it's not a place most people go to visit. That's for sure. Yeah, that's a no from me, dog. Yeah. If I had to do it again, I'd be like, is there another venue anywhere else in the city that is not in the heart of downtown LA? I get that's where most of the venues are,
Starting point is 00:17:13 but what about Culver City? There's a lot of old folks there. Do you think there's like a lodge we can rent out? Like a really shitty lodge? That's where I eat my early dinner that's what i'm saying they can have the early dinner and then we'll come in after them no one's using it after six that's true that's very true yeah oh my god six i'll be in bed by then but the thing is is the thursday night show no problems. But yeah, that's what happened to me this week.
Starting point is 00:17:48 Other than the usual, I got upset at Twitter because Twitter sucks. And, you know, all the normal things that happen when you're stuck in social media. Oh, yeah. I was going to speak of that. Uh-huh. Good transition. Me talking about how I played Inscription. Yes!
Starting point is 00:18:08 Yeah, because last week you were like, this game's so good, and people only play like an hour of it. And I was like, alright. I've seen other people play it, so I streamed a couple hours of me playing. And the mods were just banning anybody that said anything that was like you should pick up the thing like there's any type of bag suit i was like all right and i played and i was like all right well it's pretty fun and then they're like it's crazy so then i off stream i was like you know what i'm just gonna play it off stream and then i i beat it and then i got to the next part and i was like what the shit and then i beat that and now i'm on the part that you're at that you just got to and I'm like I can't
Starting point is 00:18:45 stop playing. Dude yeah Daniel Mullen's games they're great they're super fun. Yeah it is crazy Yeah dude I think you would really like his previous games Pony Island, The Hex those are right up your alley they are just weird and strange enough and a little
Starting point is 00:19:02 meta-y for you to love it and fulfill all the Crendor qualities. I'm telling you. Like, it'll break the fourth wall and mess with your Steam account and do all sorts of crazy things. Like, I just played today, and then there's a part where it, like, uses...
Starting point is 00:19:17 I can't even say it. It's just, like, it's how you said it messes with your Steam and stuff. It does that type of thing. And I was like, what the it's how you like how you said it messes with your steam and stuff it it does that type of thing and i was like what the shit is going on it's amazing there's in in the hex there's a part where you play through one of the like fake video games right and as you play through steam reviews appear in the background of like oh this is what people thought of the game when it When it like came out And it's literally just using people
Starting point is 00:19:47 On your friends list As Steam reviewers It's wild I was like shut up One of them popped up was Clint Hackleman I was like Clint Hackleman does not think this Yeah there's nothing I was like shut up that's how I knew it was fake I was like oh this is all BS
Starting point is 00:20:04 Cause it was like you know at first I was like Oh is up. That's how I knew it was fake. I was like, oh, this is all BS. At first I was like, oh, is this real? How does this work? Yeah, it's super neat. I love how he does stuff like that. And so when this came out, I knew it was going to be wild. But like I said, people assumed the first hour was the game. And I was like, you fools. That's not even remotely close to what it is.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Oh, yeah. I knew it was going to get crazy. I just didn't know to what level but like it it really feels like a david lynch video game creation maybe not as like crazy as david lynch but like in terms of like playing with your mind i guess i think you would enjoy pony island tremendously i probably would i'll probably go back and play his other games now yeah they're very very good I'm disappointed that this one is So successful for him
Starting point is 00:20:49 Sold 250,000 copies in the first week I'm so upset because it means he'll never work with me now I can never make a game with him Because he's too successful He doesn't need me You know like alright Good luck have fun I'm so upset I want that i want to make a game
Starting point is 00:21:06 i don't care what the game is i will be like i will i will help you make whatever you want um let's see what else did i do oh yeah halloween i forget it's halloween didn't really do anything yeah i'm the same way i didn't do anything. I spent all week doing things. I had two major events. I'm over it. It's time to rest. So instead, I got suckered into watching a show that I didn't really want to watch, but for some reason I was watching it.
Starting point is 00:21:38 I had a friend a while ago be like, Hey, Jesse, you should really think about watching Star Trek Discovery. You'll love it. I'm like, I don't know. I heard that show stanked. I heard it wasn't very good. And they were like, dude, trust me. It gets really good after the first season.
Starting point is 00:21:54 I was like, I gotta watch the whole season? And they're like, trust me. You gotta watch it. I was like, okay. Let me tell you. That first season of Star Trek Discovery is like insane. It's insane. I know you know nothing about Star Trek, and this is mild spoilers for anyone who might possibly want to watch this one day.
Starting point is 00:22:15 I know you don't care, so let me just say, this first season has interdimensional travel through the power of mushrooms. That is the basic premise. Mushroom-powered space travel. I was like, I don't know what I'm watching, but it's such a train wreck. I'm in. I'm watching. And then season two hits, and I started watching it last night, and let me tell you, pretty compelling.
Starting point is 00:22:40 I was like, oh, there's actually a story and a mystery, and things are working now. I don't know. I was going to sit down and watch Squid Game. I haven't done that yet. You got to do it. The time's going to pass by. Everyone's going to be scary. I'm watching a show that I guess aired years ago, and now I'm like, yeah, I get this.
Starting point is 00:22:59 And everyone was like, dude, that show sucks. And here's the thing. First season sucks. Agreed. Totally sucks. But the second season, I'm feeling it feeling it i'm like there's a mystery and i like that kind of thing i like the idea of so the basic premise of the second season is like a beacon is guiding them to different areas around the galaxy and every time they get there, it disappears. But they get caught
Starting point is 00:23:26 up in whatever is happening there and it seems like whatever this thing is is guiding them to do good things. But they also don't know if it's like, you know, like, is there something bigger happening? Why is this? That kind of thing. I'm like, I like this. This is a simple plot point. Everything's
Starting point is 00:23:41 pretty cool. All the characters that kind of sucked in the first season actually have a purpose now like the first season i've never disliked a main cast that much in my life everyone was grating on your nerves everyone was an asshole i'm like why is everyone an asshole to everyone all these characters hate each other like what is going on and then uh you know season two it's like more fun, I guess, is the way to describe it. I don't know. I'm kind of digging it, so I have to give that a shout out. Because usually I'd be like,
Starting point is 00:24:11 it's garbage. But when people say stick with it, I tend to do that. And they tend to be right. Huh. Well, I mean, that's cool, but you should watch Squid Game. You're totally right. I know I need to.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Yeah. And you say you like mystery stuff. It's got mystery stuff in it. I know it does. Look, I know. I'm aware. I can't help that I get sidetracked. And the reason why someone, like, let me tell you the process of what happened that got me.
Starting point is 00:24:40 People might be wondering, Jesse, do you really take the time to sit down and watch all of the Paramount Plus show, Star Trek Discovery? Why? Let me tell you the way I got there. I got to my TV, turned it on, and was going to go to Netflix to watch Squid Game.
Starting point is 00:24:59 And then an advertisement for a free week of Paramount Plus appeared, and I was like, oh! A free week? Okay, click. And then it was like, do you want to watch Star Plus appeared. And I was like, oh, a free week. Okay, click. And then it was like, do you want to watch Star Trek Discovery? And I was like, oh, yeah, that person did say to go watch this. So I clicked yes. And then a week later, here we are.
Starting point is 00:25:19 And a week later, it got me. I'm like, oh, I guess. And I hate watched 15 episodes, Crendor. I sat there. They're like 40 minutes long. And I was just like, I don't like this at all. This sucks. Then I got to the end.
Starting point is 00:25:34 It was like, well, I guess I'll give season two a try. They said it was all right. I pressed season two. And I'm like, I actually kind of like this. I think I Stockholm Syndrome myself into loving a show. Huh. I mean, fair enough. So I really wanted to watch Squid Game.
Starting point is 00:25:52 I was almost there. I got like squirrel and was immediately distracted and on to something else. Speaking of watching stuff, I've been watching my old home movies because we have our old vhs tapes what my parents do and they're like uh i bought a thing where i can convert them so i was like oh i'll just convert all these like dvds or whatever and they'd be like that'd be fantastic and i was like all right i'll do that so i've been going through and like recording all of them but like occasionally i'll like look at what's happening there's like it's just crazy like looking back like 30 years or even like 20 years there's like seeing yourself at like 10
Starting point is 00:26:36 years old or like 12 years old or even like two years old and it's like and you don't even like some like you don't really have memories of stuff but you'll have memories of things that pop up. Like, I'll be like, oh, my God, I remember that toy, but I don't remember, like, any memories, like, surrounding the toy. I just remember it. Or, like, I remember getting it, or I'm like, oh, I remember having that thing, and it sat in my room, and I didn't do anything, but I remember it was in my room. And, like, that type of stuff. So it's just, it's wacky going back and seeing all the old things yep i remember going back to look at old home movies i cannot stress enough how truly awful they are
Starting point is 00:27:14 like they are it reminds me that everyone comes from somewhere because clearly at the time i thought it was worth recording yeah but then i look and i'm like 11 year old jesse was an idiot like i hate this guy yeah i think uh there's me at like 10 i think it's my 10th birthday and i remember uh i was like opening presents and there was like my aunt and uncle were there then the ones like oh you're your cousin got the Super, what's it called? Super Mario Smash. And in my 10-year-old voice, I'm like, Super Smash Bros. I have that.
Starting point is 00:27:51 I rented it from Blockbuster. And I was like, oh, my God. First off, Blockbuster. Second off, I sound like I do now, but my voice is like 20 octaves higher so i'm like i'm like up there i'm like oh boy this is a fun uh and then i was like oh my god i played the first super smash back then back in the i guess was it 99 or 2000 i don't know one of those years uh so that was that was a blast from the past. And then I realized, which I kind of already knew,
Starting point is 00:28:28 that my one grandpa is pretty much where I got my genetics from, like my Cren genetics. Does he look like you? He doesn't really look like me, but personality-wise, if you had to pinpoint it, you'd be like, oh, he's the Cren-dor grandpa. Does he have the same laugh as you would we see that on film uh he doesn't he doesn't really laugh too much he
Starting point is 00:28:50 doesn't really have the laugh but he's got the he likes like he was making non-content like back like he's filming stuff and he's like here's my garden and that's a cucumber all right there it is and this is a tomato there's the tomato like that's literally how he's filming it like that's it there it is it's in the genetics i i see your videos and i raise you a video that is burned into my memory because it is like A video that is burned into my memory because it is like, it should be on that trashy subreddit. My mom walks into me in like a dirty white t-shirt and like my white undies sitting on a couch. I'm going to say eight years old maybe. Sitting on a comforter, a couch or something.
Starting point is 00:29:44 My mom walks in, she's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, reading Nintendo Power. The biggest idiot in the world. I turn away from her like, I'm reading Nintendo Power, Bob. Oh, it's so funny. And tighty-whities and everything. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Looking very, very awful. Plus, like, did your parents, like, buy one of those, like, old school camcorders just to, like, film the family movies? Because I think that's what my parents did. Absolutely. That's what they did. And we would go on vacation, and I would do, like, this is Jesse Cox broadcasting live from Tampa Bay, Florida. We're on the hunt for sharks in the water.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Meanwhile, I have a shark hat on. I'm like, I can't wait to see sharks. I'm like, who is this child? Who is this? What happened to him? He probably saw a shark, and that was it. That's probably where it stems from, yeah. Yeah, he was really excited and wanted to do it, and that was it.
Starting point is 00:30:43 I think at 12 years old. I was filming my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. And then I was like just going around with the camera. And you can tell it's me because I like would occasionally be like, and at like one point I like flip the camera around on my face. And I'm just like, yeah. And then I like flip it back and I'm just recording all the people. And they're just like, oh, there he is.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Hello. And I'm just like, hey people, and they're just like, oh, there he is. Hello. And I'm just like, hey. I just keep filming everything. But that's probably where my video creation day started, right then and there. I want to let you know that as you said that, I had an idea for a video series. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:22 What if you and I go back and watch our old videos? That would be a pretty funny video series all right what if you and i go back and watch our old videos that would be a pretty funny uh video yeah we go back watch like the old home videos we recorded way back when holy crap that would be a thing that would be a thing we still have to watch that nick cage movie for like an amazon thing too you You're right. We have a lot to do. We are falling behind on our list of things to do. We really are. We should really take this a lot more seriously than just showing up and recording a podcast.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Yeah, we probably should. We should do a lot more with this, probably. Yeah. Probably. Well, speaking of... Hey, are you shopping online? Are you doing things online? Because Honey is the best way to help with your online shopping. Thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupons is a thing of the past.
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Starting point is 00:33:39 joinhoney, H-O-N-E-Y, you know how Honey is spelled, dot com slash Cox. Also today, we're brought to you by Hello Tushy, a modern bidet company that washes away even the messiest of poops. That's right. It's time to talk about poo. Uh-huh. I'm sure you have heard this analogy before, and I think it is apt because I think about it often.
Starting point is 00:34:09 If you got some poop on your arm, would you just wipe it off? No way. You'd wash it. So stop wiping your butt and start washing your butt with Hello Tushy, the modern bidet that attaches directly to your toilet. Hello Tushy is the modern bidet for people who poop. And everybody poops. Just poop, wash, pat it dry. I know you're thinking, Jesse, this is a lot of poop.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Well, Hello Tushy is here to help you deal with that problem. Washes your bum with water for a better clean than the toilet paper that you use. I guarantee. It's less irritating and very soothing and in you know what they want me to say b-hole but i'm gonna say butthole it's for that butthole yours for that butthole it's soothing everyone has a butthole don't pretend like you don't it's easy to install attaches to the toilet in under 10 minutes zero electricity needed or plumbing using hello tissue bidet reduces your toilet paper consumption by 80 percent attaches to the toilet in under 10 minutes. Zero electricity needed or plumbing.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Using Hello Tushy bidet reduces your toilet paper consumption by 80%. Saving you money, helping the environment, all that stuff. They have a full product line of like an ottoman. You know, like they got a toilet brush, all sorts of things. All you got to do if you want to find out more, go to Hello Tushy and get a bidet for a better clean. Go to HelloTushy.com slash Cox to get 10% off plus free shipping. This is a special offer for you. HelloTushy.com slash Cox for 10% off.
Starting point is 00:35:38 And after you buy and install it, show it off. Let us know. Show it off. Let us know. And then tag them so that then they can, like, see that we talk to you about poops and buttholes and washing them. You know what I mean? And especially if it's on Instagram, please. All the Instagram at HelloTushies.
Starting point is 00:35:59 I would love that. Anyway, go to HelloTushie.com slash Cox. All right, Crandall, let's go to hellotushy.com slash cocks. All right, Grendel, let's go to the top. Let's have a look at the traffic out there. Oh, boy. Traffic is crazy from trick-or-treating. There's a whole bunch of candy all over laying in the streets. There's costumes that have been discarded. They're just all over the roads, mainly because, you know, once you get done trick-or-treating, you don't need that costume anymore.
Starting point is 00:36:27 They just throw it out. You know, they just throw it into the street. And then every year the costumes get up and make their way down to the old Halloween factory where they get recycled into a variety of pumpkins. And that's how you make pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. A little known fact. Back to you. I don't think that's how any of that works. You're probably just not used to hearing the straight facts.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Right, right. The straight facts. Right, right, right. The straight facts. Good to know. You know. Listen, all right. The pumpkin pie filling is probably not far off from
Starting point is 00:37:06 what costumes are made out at least if you get it at like mcdonald's or something does mcdonald's even have pumpkin pie they probably got something i don't know they have the apple pie right they got apple pie yeah but you would think for like uh you know holidays they do pumpkin pie they do have one baked pumpkin pie pumpkin pie, smooth, rich pumpkin filling baked in a tender, flaky pastry crust and dusted in cinnamon sugar. But there's no picture of it. See? And that's where your costumes go to.
Starting point is 00:37:34 It used to... It's like how... I mean, that makes sense to me. Yeah, like Subway uses yoga mats or whatever. They use the Halloween costumes. See? I told you. I'm not lying yeah you're you were right i was wrong as usual thank you that's the traffic all right what is going on and whether weather um today we're gonna go to oster soon sweden, home to Sweden's version of the Loch Ness Monster.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Storsjö Odret, the monster of the Big Lake, or of Big Lake. Okay, I'm trying to, I don't even know how to spell, I was going to look it up, but I don't know how to spell this. Ostersund. Uh. Osters, Ostersundag? it's probably like ooster soon um 36 degrees fahrenheit clear he didn't even help me you put it you know how to spell it i put it in the discord oh oosters and that's how i thought it was spelled at all uh it's 31 degrees uh humidity 95 pressure 29.64 inches 10 miles of visibility you got six mile an hour winds 7 39 a.m sunrise 3 49 p.m sunset wow that is pretty
Starting point is 00:38:57 early for the sun to be set uh dew point 35 uv index zero of 10 with a waning crescent moon phase uh looking at the 10 day you got 47 degrees light rain on monday 45 cloudy on tuesday 43 light rain on wednesday 41 light rain am thursday 39 mostly cloudy on friday Saturday, some PM showers, 40 degrees, and pretty much just a lot of rain and cold weather. Here's the thing. When it's not covered in snow, it looks beautiful. Huh. I'm looking at it right now. It looks very scenic, and I don't want to say the word quaint,
Starting point is 00:39:38 but it has a quaint vibe to it. You know what I mean? It looks nice, but at the same time, I imagine when I look at the pictures of snow Terrifying Like it's too much snow It's not even that much snow It's too much snow
Starting point is 00:39:53 For me, I'd die there My LA blood would freeze You'd never hear from me again I'd be like it was below 20 degrees And I froze to death The end There's not even that much snow from me again. I'd be like, it was below 20 degrees and I froze to death. The end. There's not even that much snow. It's like a couple inches.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Nah, man. You don't even get it. It's too much snow. Nah, I like the snow. The thing is, I like snow when it's snowing and then the first day, it's always after the first few days and it gets all sloshy and brown brown gets mixed with the that's just chicago anywhere anywhere that isn't like a pristine like country town or something that's what i'm saying this has that
Starting point is 00:40:37 pristine vibe to it yeah i guess but they also have sea monsters so i mean do they like what do they do in the winter when the ice freezes over? Do they just live underwater? Yeah, they plan. They wait. Like, when the ice thaws, my reign of terror shall begin again. Or they're the ones making it snow. They're like, take that.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Yeah, because they would have that power, obviously. Yeah. Without a doubt. Well well that checks out yeah um so that's that's the weather okay let's go to sports sports um big football day which is pretty much every sunday from now until like February uh currently the Cowboys are losing to the Minnesota Vikings 10 to 3 but they are without their starting quarterbacks that's kind of one of the main reasons uh Broncos beat Washington Saints beat the Buccaneers uh Tom Brady throwing a pick six at the end Seahawks beat the jaguars patriots beat the chargers 49ers beat the bears rams beat the texans eagles destroyed the lions steelers beat the browns uh the jets beat the bangles somehow the bills beat the dolphins titans beat the colts
Starting point is 00:41:57 panthers beat the falcons and the packers beat the cardinals on Thursday night. Let me be very clear. Anyone beating the Bengals somehow is how it should be. Yeah, but they've been doing good. I know. I'm glad we're back in the status quo. I'm glad we're back to normal is what I'm saying. Yeah, well, now they're still in second place. Doesn't matter. As long as they keep losing, fine.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Over in basketball, I've been having fun watching NBA. Bulls are 5-1. Most fun I've had watching the Bulls are five and one most fun I've had watching the Bulls in a long time it's been great they are in a four-way tie for first with the Knicks the Heat and the Wizards then you got the Hornets and the 76ers and then the Raptors and then a big tie for eighth with the Bucks Hawks Nets in the west you got the Warriors at the top the Jazz then you got Nuggets Mavericks Trail, Trailblazers, Timberwolves, Lakers, Kings, Grizzlies. But plenty of games to go for the basketball season. And over in baseball, the World Series currently happening.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Atlanta is up 3-1 in that series over Houston. And right now, as of this recording, they're up 5-4 in the third inning. So it could be overnight. Wowee. And in hockey, to wrap all these sports up, we've got the Eastern Conference. Panthers at the top of that with the Sabres right behind. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:43:23 They're finally relevant again. Go Sabres right behind. Look at that. They're finally relevant again. Go Sabres. Hurricanes, Capitals at the top of the Metro Division. Blues and the Jets and the Wild up at the Central. And then you've got the Flames, Oilers, and Sharks up at the Pacific Division. And that's sports. Okay, let's talk weird facts of the day.
Starting point is 00:43:56 That's a weird way to say it. What do you want me to call it? You'd have been like, yo, let's go to our weird fact of the day, but you're like, let us talk facts. That's like how you said it's weird when i say greetings like that's the equivalent of saying greetings i do not understand let us speak of facts and now he's like william shatner from star trek i do not understand let us us. Speak of facts. Here's a fact. Alright.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Speaking of Sweden, we'll do a Swedish fact. How about that? Sweden has 267,570 islands. The most of any country in the world. I believe that. I mean, just looking at, I was just on the map, right?
Starting point is 00:44:51 Mm-hmm. Looking at the whole Norway, Sweden, Finland thing. I wonder what, like, the second and third are in terms of islands. Is it just the, like, neighboring countries, like Finland and Norway? Nations with most islands. I guess that's, like, the Google search, right? Yeah. Sweden has the most. Finland and Norway are second and third. Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Starting point is 00:45:13 And then Canada's fourth because Canada has all the islands sort of like along the road toward the Arctic. Indonesia. That makes sense. Australia. that makes sense Philippines, Japan
Starting point is 00:45:27 UK Greece, Thailand Yeah, that adds up I believe all those I think what's interesting about it is Sweden, Finland, and Norway Because of I would imagine it's because of all the lakes Or all the water, I don't know
Starting point is 00:45:42 I'm sure we'll get someone from One of those three great nations that I would love to have invite me to go there again. I love traveling. Like, every time I've been to any of those three, Norway's been lovely. Sweden was lovely. All lovely. Lovely. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:03 It's pretty. You know what you know i'm gonna throw another fact just for fun i've never been into finland so i don't know anything about the fins sorry uh here's another fun fact scotland has 421 words for snow yeah i believe that isn't that one of those things we used to say about sort of like the Inuit peoples in Canada? Oh yeah, I think so. Some examples. Sneasel to start raining or snowing.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Sneasel. I like Sneasel. There's Feeful to swirl and Flink Drinking, a light snow. Sorry, what was that last one? Blink Drinking? Flink Drinkin', A Light Snow. Sorry, what was the last one? Blink Drinkin'? Flink Drinkin'. Oh, well, Flink Drinkin', that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Flink Drinkin'. Yeah. Look at that. And that's the Flink Drinkin'. Okay. What's our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. All right.
Starting point is 00:47:14 Big news story of the day time. First, before we even get to the big news story of the day, we need to mention one thing. What is that? The McRib. It is back. You're right. need to mention one thing the mcrib is back you're right gotta mention that mcrib is back which means the mccox and crendor is available again we have seen we have seen your pictures today i saw a mcdappleberry i think i saw yep We need someone to like create the menu so we can retweet it. Yeah. We need like,
Starting point is 00:47:47 yeah. Why? Why haven't any of you listening right now made us a Cox and Crandor menu with all the things on it? Yeah. Where's our free mod? What are you doing out there? Not even,
Starting point is 00:48:00 that's your homework assignment. Hey, that's the homework assignment. Make a McDonald's Cox and Crandor menu, that's your homework assignment hey that's the homework assignment make a mcdonald's cox and crendor menu and then we can retweet it and everybody can go order something and then tweet their picture of the thing they ordered eating being eaten i mean i'm in i appreciate i appreciate and approve of this all right fantastic um so that's uh wait what the shit did tiktok videos expose how mcdonald's mcrib is cooked what do you mean it's not like it's super easy it's not a it's not a i don't know
Starting point is 00:48:32 why they're literally it's like they cook it on the same flat top as everything else and they dunk it in the barbecue sauce and leave it there yeah at least that's the way they did it way back when like it's not you know yeah literally that's the way they did it way back when. Like, it's not, you know. Yeah, literally, that's what they do. It looks like a solid white brick with ridges. It's supposed to be succulent pork patty that serves the basis for one of McDonald's most popular items, McRib,
Starting point is 00:48:56 but an employee with a smartphone happened to snap a picture of a slab of frozen McRib meat fresh from the box at McDonald's somewhere out there, and now that's a photo that has raced around the internet raising eyebrows and deadening appetites. It's the exact opposite. Well, yeah, no shit.
Starting point is 00:49:12 It comes in a frozen box. Yeah, I don't know what they thought they were doing with this hard-hitting expose, but we're all aware that it's not good for you. Yeah, like, no, this is straight-up, like, lunch cafeteria food. Yeah, it's not great for you. Yeah, no, no, this is straight up, like, lunch cafeteria food. Yeah, it's not great for you.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Yeah, no, I would not even recommend eating it. But you got to get at least one. Right, I mean, yes, you have to. You got to do it. Yes, exposed. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Anyway, big news story of the day.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Florida man has returned. And he has shattered records by surfing the unthinkable 638 waves over marathon 31 hours. Wait, what the hell did you just say? What does this guy do? Florida man shatters record by surfing unthinkable 638 waves over marathon 31 hours. Oh, all right. That makes sense. I guess I was confused about what you were trying to tell me. I was like, yeah, okay, so he's just surfing a bunch.
Starting point is 00:50:19 Florida man surfs a bunch is what you're saying. Yes, that's pretty much it. Gotcha. Curtis Loftus, hailing from Jacksonville Beach, Florida, achieved the unthinkable yesterday and shattered what has long been held an unbreakable record by surfing a whopping 638 waves during a 31-hour marathon session. The 60-year-old Goofy Foot. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:50:43 That makes it even better. Yeah. He looks like 60 years old doingold Goofy Foot. Whoa! That makes it even better. Yeah. He looks like 60 years old doing this. Yeah, dude. That's great. The 60-year-old Goofy Foot wearing what appeared to be a 3-2 wetsuit, gloves, and van surf boots surfed all day, all night, and six hours of the next day, ending sometime in the afternoon, getting bathed in cheers from family, friends,
Starting point is 00:51:08 and amazed onlookers. Quote, I need to get some carbs, some protein, and some other things in me, but rest family and just be grateful. Loftus told the Jacksonville NBC affiliate, what other things?
Starting point is 00:51:24 Yeah, you know, I gives some other things in me. What is that other thing? I don't know. They should have followed up. You went for 31 hours. Yeah. There's no way I could have done that at night. I would have been freaked out.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Oh, yeah. I can barely do anything for 31 hours. Get out of town. Like, if I stay up too late, I already get paranoid about shit. You're telling me this guy was out in the water in the dark? I would have been like, oh, hell no. Yeah, no, I already, I can't even like sit in a chair for 31 hours. I mean, I guess this guy was like he was up, he was moving, he was doing stuff.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Yeah. But this would have been physically taxing. Oh, yeah. No, this is crazy. We couldn't ask for better weather, best support, and I have just enough stubbornness in me to make sure I'm going to meet these goals. The ostensible reason for shredding so hard so long was to raise money for nonprofit profit. Shredding so hard, so long, was to raise money for non-profit. Shredding so hard, so long.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Just shredding so hard, so long. So long. I'm going to say too long. I'm going to say he went too hard, too long. Was to raise money for the non-profit Deck the Chairs, which promotes the arts and fosters community pride and involvement through creative display of public art featuring lighted iconic lifeguard chairs every holiday season in jacksville i mean i feel like they
Starting point is 00:52:51 could have like you could have done 20 hours and it would have been just as you know impactful i don't know i feel like it's a lot like just a lot uh then they say the real reason I imagine though was whoop and then they link to whoop 4.0 digital fitness app so really it's just that this is an ad they had to fit an ad in somewhere
Starting point is 00:53:18 here so they're like uh gross what I hate that he was gonna do it for charity but the real reason he did it was the sponsored application for our website. I am on a stabmag.com. I don't know what stab is, but apparently they're big on surfing because they have a lot of surfing articles. But they have a line in this article where it says, in flagrant violation of good bender etiquette, Curtis's wife and family were brought along to witness the mayhem.
Starting point is 00:53:52 What is good bender etiquette? They're about to make me Google good bender etiquette. Etiquette. Cowboy etiquette by bender. What does that mean? Is this some like Am I going to find out this is one of those things Like a real alpha male
Starting point is 00:54:09 Is this where I'm going Is this just like supposed to be surfer etiquette And they're saying bender I don't know I mean I think they mean bender As in like you know when you would go drink Not you But you know like when people would go drinking like a bender.
Starting point is 00:54:27 I mean, I know the term. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe they mean like, cause it's supposed to be a long, like a little too long. And maybe that's what they're saying. Like you don't, in this case, don't bring that person with you. Cause now they're just, they have to sit there and watch you. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:54:42 Like they're stuck for 31 hours watching. Maybe that's what they mean. It's a weird addition to the article, but not everyone is cool enough to write about benders, I guess. I don't know. I guess so. I never really thought of benders. I'm two hours into a thing, and I'm like, that's enough.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Oh, yeah, that's me too. I've never been like yeah you know what i'm gonna go heavy drink for three days that's never been a thing i've thought of just like you know what one night was enough i think i'm gonna go to not do anything yeah i've never never had that thought about anything really that's what i'm saying i've never once needed to do anything longer than like a few hours. It's never been a problem for me. Yeah. No, it's not. This is why we'll never get articles written about us for 31 hours of whatever.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Yeah. No, we're not getting that. But you know what? I think that's a healthier way to live. You know? Agreed. Agreed. I think that's a healthier way to live. You know? Agreed. Agreed. I think so, too.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Except he is 60 and surfboarding, and we're like, oh, my back. That's also true, yeah. You know, what are we to say? Maybe we should start surfing. Yeah, maybe. All right. Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening and watching.
Starting point is 00:56:08 I've been enjoying this podcast. Crandor, hit up with the socials. We've got so many socials. We've got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. That's where all the podcasts are. Or no, that's where the animations are. See, this is what I mean. I'm practically like 85.
Starting point is 00:56:23 YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast is where all the podcasts are. And then YouTube.com Cox and Crandor is where the animations are. Then you can type in Cox and Crandor on any Spotify, iTunes, all those things. SoundCloud, you'll find us. And then you can find our other stuff that we do. Yeah, YouTube.com Jesse Cox. YouTube.com Crandor. Twitch TV Jesse Cox.
Starting point is 00:56:43 Those are the things. Twitch.tv slash Crandor. Twitter Jesse Cox. Twitter Crand YouTube.com Jesse Cox, YouTube.com Crendor, Twitch.tv Jesse Cox, Twitch.tv slash Crendor, Twitter Jesse Cox, Twitter Crendor, Facebook Jesse Cox, Facebook Crendor, Instagram Notorious Cox, Instagram Crendor was taken, and probably some other stuff.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Alright, well, that's it. We'll see y'all next time, and as always, I'm shaking the Rhino. To be continued.

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