Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 314 - Return to Monkey Mondays
Episode Date: November 8, 2021The boys are back and this time Jesse discovers a stripper with a stage monkey and we can only assume falls in love. Meanwhile Crendor can't seem to stop watching random strangers give him medical adv...ice on the internet. I'm sure that'll end up just fine. All these worries and time traveling tomb portal on this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://ritual.com/cox to get 10% off during your first 3 months! Go to http://getquip.com/crendor to get your first refill FREE!
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Today's episode is brought to you by Quip.
Quip is out there trying to help you get your teeth looking their best.
Also, today we're brought to you by Ritual.
Ritual is here for you to get your body being its best.
We're attacking you from multiple angles today.
I don't know if the word attack is right.
We're coming at you now.
I don't know if that's...
You know what?
Let's just start this podcast.
Hello, everybody.
It's time for Ghost on Trending.
This is Trending in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.
In 4-hour recording studios.
Recording.
Wake your ass up.
It's Ghost onrendel in the morning
Hey
Hey, how you doing?
I'm doing all right, how you doing?
I don't know what I'm doing, how you doing?
I don't know what I'm doing, how you doing?
Who are these two people?
What is their story?
Those guys, they suck.
They're kind of like British dudes, but they've lived in the Bronx for 25 years.
Just do that for like 10 minutes.
That would be probably our most popular episode ever.
It probably would, yeah.
They'd be like, can they keep going?
People would tune in just to see.
Oh, we could.
We just don't.
That's really sad that, yeah, we could.
Yeah, that's the thing we would do for our own amusement and no one else's.
It also sounds like an old person being like first get off my lord yeah you gotta
have a little bit old like old guy in there yeah from your gut oh where's the anvil that's also me
like every week how's your week going?
Okay, I can't lie to you.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm not going to pretend.
I can't lie to you.
Because this podcast is about honesty, right?
It's about honesty between us.
That's what I always say.
It's about honesty.
Yeah, yeah.
So this past week, I had a lot of stuff to do during the day.
Office things.
Stuff of that nature.
And it was just a lot.
I had a lot to get done.
And I hated every minute of it.
So every night when I came home.
I would eat an edible.
Alright.
And I'm going to let you know.
I didn't do anything those nights.
All week long.
Did nothing.
That's what happened to me.
I was like you know what.
I've been working really hard
i don't want to deal with anybody right now and i went off to fairyland
so that's what happened to me i um was kind of over it just like a lot of business stuff
and and then i uh you know i got a message from the government that was like
we need more money and i was like oh my god why do you need more like you didn't pay us enough
i'm like i paid you what you asked and they're like but that wasn't enough and i'm like cool
all right stuff like that you know things things of that nature well i mean did you have any like
high thoughts at least uh i did have a lot of like jesse sings to himself while just around the house and i'm
sure at the time it looked ridiculous but it wasn't songs it was like
but i would go for like an hour and a half
you're like the nintendo Wii background music or something.
Yes, if you would have left me on, eventually I would have sold you a game or something.
I don't know.
Somebody turn this guy off.
That's where I'm at.
That's who I am.
That's been my week.
I saw you got locked out of your YouTube or something.
Yeah, it was, again, the reason why I went home and was like, time to turn my brain off.
Basically, what happened is YouTube has a thing where if you log in from enough different computers, it will pop up like, hey, please verify yourself.
Log into your phone.
Check out your YouTube app.
When you go to the YouTube app, a pop-up is going to appear.
It's gonna have a list of numbers, press the number that's on the screen of your
computer, and that's how we'll know it's you, but for some reason, every time I
press the number, the computer version did not register it and would just sit there.
And so I kept pressing it and pressing it.
I would reload and refresh my computer.
Literally a week and a half.
I was unable to get into my Cox clips channel or any of the other stuff we're
doing on there, all I could do is upload to the main YouTube channel.
But eventually I couldn't even upload to the main YouTube channel.
It just stopped me.
And I was like, what the hell is going on?
Contacted everyone I knew.
And they were like, well, we'll get on it.
I'm like, I'm trying to upload these videos.
I have half a dozen videos just sitting here.
Well, we'll get on it in the morning.
So that was night one of me being like, all right, I'm going to need something for this.
And so I went home and I
watched like weird ass TV and was like, I guess I'll eat this gummy. And the next day woke up,
expected something to change. Nothing changed. Finally, what ended up making everything change
is I went in and deleted my entire cache, deleted all of my, like since the beginning of me using
the computer, deleted everything that
was in my Google sort of temp folders and everything gone.
And, uh, then I went back in and it popped up again, like, Hey, you need to sign in and
you need to prove it's you on your phone.
So I was like, okay, signed in, proved it was me on the phone and it worked.
And I was like, Oh my God.
Yes. Then I go to the the phone and it worked. And I was like, oh my God. Yes.
Then I go to the upload page and it pops up again.
And it's like, you need to prove it's you.
And I audibly screamed.
I was so mad.
But this time differently, instead of saying, pull up your YouTube app and said, hey, can we call you and text you a code?
I was like, yeah.
Got my code.
It worked.
So I don't know what I did differently, but it somehow let me through without it being like, go to your app.
All I'm saying is that app to computer technology sucks.
I was there for a week like, why doesn't it work?
So that was another one of my problems where, you know, sometimes in life you can't control things, even though you really want to.
And you stress out over it.
And so I chose not to stress by flying high.
That's a lesson for everyone.
To get rid of your stress, just do drugs.
You know. Lesson for everyone. To get rid of your stress, just do drugs. There's your lesson, kids.
Tell that to your parents next time they're like, be clean.
Listen, the parents are probably doing drugs.
Oh, yeah.
This day and age, everyone's doing something.
Yeah, they're either drinking, they're smoking, they're drinking, ain't smoking.
You know what I didn't realize until I was an adult?
That that actually is super true.
Yeah.
Even though most people would be like, I don't do the marijuana, they're still on like prescription
painkillers and opioids and things that are just like, because the doctor gave it to him, it's fine.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, that shit's addicting.
I don't know.
Yeah, that's what'll kill you.
I told you about that.
When I got my gallbladder out, they gave me like 40 of those.
I did not need 40 of those.
They gave me 40 of those.
And I remember I took like 10, and I was like, I'm good.
And I just saved the other 30.
So when I got my toenail pain, well, my just toe pain, I guess your toenails don't technically hurt.
That hurt more than the gallbladder stuff.
So I was like, I'll, you know, start taking these.
Like, so I limited myself to like two a day.
So I was like, I'm not, I'm not taking more than two of these a day because these are crazy.
And so like it got to the point where I was like, man, I see how people get addicted to these things.
Yes.
I got down to my final three and I was like, I gotta save them.
I gotta save them.
These are great.
And then they were gone and I was like, oh boy.
And then I was like, I just gotta...
I was like Gollum or something with the ring.
And I was like, nope.
I can just get a few more.
Precious. I was like, nopeum or something with the ring. And I was like, nope. I can just get a few more. Precious.
I was like, nope, I'm good.
I always tell a story where I was playing Battle for Azeroth,
and I was in the auction house, and I took one of them,
and I was sitting there, and I was like, dude,
I'm having fun playing Battle for Azeroth.
That's how you know these things are powerful.
So that was, yeah, you know.
And then I haven't taken them since then
You just gotta know your limits
You gotta know where you're at
But that
Takes experimentation
And having good friends around to watch your back
That's a fact
And I think some people just have addictive personalities too
Oh sure
Yeah
I mean I think everyone is addicted to something
Yeah
I mean it doesn't even have to be like
Drugs or like
It can be literally like playing video games
You can literally be addicted to that
It's forming habits
And those habits associating with
You know
Happier moods or relaxation
Or all that stuff It's the dopamine man serotonin
it's all your brain chemicals man brain chemicals but if anyone out there is like a shaman who
listens to this i'm down to come out to wherever and have like a crazy experience let me know
i'm still waiting for my i'm one with the stars moment.
I want it badly.
Oh, yeah.
I've been reading my Marie Kondo book again.
Why?
What brought this on?
I'm sitting here sipping my coffee while I listen to you talk about Marie Kondo.
It's very warming and welcoming.
Well, that's good.
What brought this one?
So, pretty much, it was literally a year ago I bought this book and was reading it.
And I was like, I'm going to start organizing stuff.
Because I was like, oh, this is inspiring when I read it.
And I was like, I need to do that again.
Because I mentioned it last month or so.
I was like, I want to organize.
And I was like, you know what I got to do?
I got to read that book. That will motivate me. So, I want to organize. I was like, you know what I got to do? I got to read that book.
That'll motivate me.
So I started reading it, and it started motivating me.
So one of the things.
Wait, like how?
Wait, no, you're kidding.
I read it, and I was motivated.
Like how?
In what way?
It's going to explain.
Okay.
So one segment she writes is that things like clutter actually increase cortisol,
which is the stress hormone.
And so by eliminating clutter, you actually reduce stress.
Because if you think about it, right,
let's say there's like a pile of papers by your desk, right?
And you constantly see that pile of papers.
Even if you don't like consciously notice it, you subconsciously know it's there. And you're like, that see that pile of papers even if you don't like consciously notice
it you subconsciously know it's there and you're like that's a pile of papers it's the stuff like
stuff i gotta go through you know it's taking up space it's something i gotta do and then when you
finally go through it that you know that thing is gone and it's just empty space and you're like
wow there's like you know i don't gotta worry about that anymore even on like a subconscious
level and so even just knowing where things are, like organizing,
where you're like, oh man, I need this thing, but I don't know where it is.
But when you know where it is, you're like, oh, you know what?
That's one thing I don't even have to worry about, you know,
on a subconscious level, because if I need it, I know where it is.
So it's like that type of thing.
The less things you have, the easier it is to know where things are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
you have the easier it is to know where things are yeah yeah so it's like uh it's like how you know she's made her her living from that what's it called like the joy what's it called it's like
this is spark joy right that's the the thing and so i mean it is it is true to extent right because
i mean there's some things where i'm like listen this doesn't spark joy but i'm probably gonna need it you know like what what is an example of that like i don't know like a
like a plug for a monitor i'm like listen if my monitor cord goes out i'm probably gonna need this
but there's a possibility it never goes out and i buy a whole new monitor but i still might need
this so it could spark joy in the future but right now it's not sparking any joy like i don't know so i was like you know what i'll keep it around
i love your it could spark joy in the future it's very you know like you're future proofing
your joy i like it i'm adding an addendum onto the sparking joy document and so yeah he's running around uh so uh where's i going with this i don't know i'm just trying to
organize things because like i don't need everything to be like pristine and super organized
but i want to just be like clean enough that's what i'm going for even like my desktop where i
look at my desktop and i'm like do do I really need this like old Twitch download
I downloaded or like this old thumbnail I have from like a month ago?
No.
Why is it here?
You get rid of it.
Because otherwise your desktop on your computer even looks all cluttered.
Like, or another thing, like I've got like games here I don't even like.
I've got a desktop icon for, let's see, Pilgrims.
I don't even know what the shit this game is.
Why is it here? I don't know.
This is something you just downloaded and never played?
Yeah.
But it's like taking up desktop space.
I leave it there because I'm like, oh, I might play it
sometime, but I don't. And it just sits
there and then my desktop's all like bleh.
And I'm like, nah. So I want to organize
my desktop and then even your
documents and stuff like that.
So that's the whole premise of her book is just cleaning all that up.
Does she say how to do it in a way that doesn't stress you out?
Because the reason why people leave a pile is because it's stressful to think about going through it.
Well, you got to make it over that hump.
Is what boils down to.
I feel like that's the hardest part.
Where is she with that tidbit of information?
Well, that's just you.
As a person, you just got to be like, you know what?
You got to go to get over the hump and do it.
That's not helpful.
Yeah, it is.
The hump is the hardest part, and you're telling me,
well, here's the tips to get to the hump.
Now you're at the hump.
Figure it out yourself.
That's not helpful.
Well, she does have the method of, like, gather everything up and put it in one big pile or something.
So that way you've got everything, like, you get everything that's making the mess.
Where you're like, this is on the desk.
This is over here.
This is over here. And you, like, take it all, and you just put it into a big pile so you see it all, and then everything's clean, technically, and then you can organize.
So it simplifies everything, because you've just got one big thing of all the stuff making a mess, and then everything else is clean.
I guess. It seems like it's just now a giant pile of trash.
Then you got to go through it.
Now you got a pile of trash sitting there.
Well, all right.
And you might be like, oh, I don't want to go through this pile of trash.
But then, boom, now you only got one big pile of trash.
Everything else is clean.
I guess.
It sounds stressful.
I'd rather do like little chunks.
I mean, you can do little chunks if you want.
Just probably whatever floats your boat.
But then it's like a lot of little chunks and it's overwhelming.
But you said you'd rather do little chunks.
But I don't.
I don't think little chunks are overwhelming.
Oh, but if you have like 80 little chunks, that's 80 chunks.
That's a lot of chunks. How are you living like that?
That's what I'm saying. If you got like
you know, a kitchen chunk
and a computer chunk and a desk chunk
and like a closet chunk and a bedroom.
Now you got a ton of chunks.
Just go room by room then. Do like
one room one day. That's too many rooms.
No, it's not.
Do one week where you clean one room a day for like's too many rooms. No, it's not. Do one week where you clean
one room a day for like an hour
or two.
But why only do that? See, I gotta get it
all done. Why?
I don't know.
That's a you problem.
No, shit. That's true.
A lot of
my problems are me problems.
But you're already like a minimalist person.
Yeah, specifically for this reason.
People keep being like, Jesse, are you dying?
Why are you getting rid of your stuff?
I'm like, look, I just don't want to have to manage it all.
I just don't want to deal with it.
It has nothing to do with like, well, I am not long for this world, so I must give up my worldly...
Like, no, I just...
I plan on living long enough to be over all this shit.
I don't, like...
The less stuff I have, the better.
I don't want things.
I want stuff, like, removed.
That's, like, the motivation thing.
I was seeing a...
What was it?
It was, like, some YouTube video. I don't know, popped up in my recommended, on motivation
and how the most successful people in terms of like conquering their, I don't know, I
want to say downfalls, conquering things they need to do, right?
If you're like, you got to write a book or you got to finish work or you got to stop
doing a thing like, oh, I keep eating cookies or you got to finish work or you got to stop doing a thing.
Like, oh, I keep eating cookies every day.
I don't eat cookies.
Or like, oh, I keep going to the bar every day.
How do I stop going to the bar?
Then you tell yourself, I'm not going to do it then.
And then you do it again.
Right.
The way they fixed it was removing it entirely.
really. So the, like the way things work, your brain will work is that it tries to, uh, what's the word kind of rationalize what you're doing. So you'll be like, all right,
I keep eating cookies every day. Cause I keep going to the grocery store on my way home from
work. So maybe today I'll take a different way home from work so i don't go past
the grocery store right that's the way you kind of overcome it but a lot of people will just be like
all right today i'm not gonna go to the grocery store and then you drive by it and you're like oh
there it is i could go in there and just because you're starting to like you're you're giving your
brain the ammunition to be like yeah yeah yeah just one cookie you only need one and then you're like yeah
i'll just have one and then eat one you're like but i could eat five and then you're like ah
jeez i'm back at square one it was like that with anything uh so the or like let's say you don't
even want to play a video game right you're like you know what i'm tired of playing legal legends
i'm gonna stop and then the next day you wake up and you go to your computer and it's just right
there legal Legends sitting there
on the desktop.
This is a problem you have, isn't it?
This is a problem I used to have.
I don't have it anymore.
I watched you play the other night.
Well, yeah. I've only played
once this week. I used to play daily.
It was deteriorating
my health.
It's now transferred to Sam.
Sam plays like 18 hours a day.
So you can see it there, and you're like,
oh, I could just open it.
And you open it, and you're like, ooh, now I'm in.
I might as well play a game.
So if you uninstall it, you create those extra steps
you have to take to be like, do I really want to go uninstall it?
And maybe you go to download it, and you download it,
and then you go to install, and you're like, you know what to install and you're like you know what I'm not going to play this
and then you just delete it so you like you give yourself
time to like
allow your brain to make the
choice you want it to make
is what I guess so like
for like the bar thing like maybe you're
walking home and every day you walk past the bar
and then you're like you know what I'm not going to walk past the bar
today and then you eliminate that
I feel like it's a lot harder than than you're like, you know what, I'm not going to walk past the bar today, and then you eliminate that. I feel like it's a lot harder than
you're putting on here.
Mm-hmm.
Because there could be just another bar.
There could be like, you know, you walk home and there's another better bar.
There could be.
The whole point is you're trying to make it more
difficult to make the decision.
Right? Because if you keep
doing the same thing, your brain is like
hardwired to be like same thing
easy we do this and it'll rationalize to yourself like do the thing do the thing dopamine serotonin
feel good no pain and you're like yeah no pain dopamine dopamine then you do it i'm blown away
by your you're so scientific today with your dopamine serotonin well this is like what i
watch on youtube i watch all these like you know
pop science like learn some stuff and i'm like hey i learned something but if you want me like
go into details on studies i'm like i don't know i'm like some people be like oh i've learned so
much on the internet i'm just like listen i listen to a youtube video i think i know something but i
probably don't you are one bad day away from like, let me tell you what's wrong with vaccines.
I watched a YouTube video where this guy said,
and I'm going to have to be here like, oh my God.
Listen, I got my vaccine.
I got my Modernas.
We both, we're the Moderna bros.
We are.
We're the Moderna bros.
I like watching those types of videos, but I'm the person who questions them.
I'm like, is this even right?
And I'm like, probably not, but I think I learned something.
Here's the thing. It sounds right.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
A lot of things do sound right.
I'd like to base most of my crackpot YouTube videos on, does this sound right?
If it sounds right, I'm like, yeah,
I can believe that. But if it's like insane,
I'm like, nah.
Yeah. Well, or if they show like actual
scientific studies to back it up.
It really helps.
Not just like, my name's
Jethro, and I'm gonna
fly above the earth to
prove it's flat.
Oh my god, he's done it uh i was gonna what do you what do
you watch on youtube because it's funny because people come to me and they'll be like what do you
who what gamer people do you watch on youtube i'm like i do not watch like any gaming stuff on
youtube making me go to my history right now so like... YouTube history. Here we go. Okay.
The last video I watched was Career Day, an SNL skit from several years ago with Adam Driver.
I don't know if you've ever seen this.
Hilarious.
Maybe.
It's Adam Driver as an old man.
Very funny.
The next video after that is Text Glow Photoshop Tutorial.
How to make glowing text in Photoshop.
That's another one I did.
Yeah.
The video after that is the Pygmalion Effect by something called Sprouts.
Okay. One of those educational YouTube things.
Full-powered Superman versus the Elite. Superman versus the Elite. I don't know why educational YouTube things. Full-powered Superman versus the Elite.
Superman versus the Elite.
I don't know why I watched that,
but I watched that.
I watched a clip from Star Trek The Next Generation
where apparently it's Picard
and it's entitled I Ordered You to Lie.
Don't know why I watched that.
I don't remember watching that at all
But I did that apparently this week
I watched the Warhammer
Join the Ogre Kingdom's Total War Warhammer 3
Early Adoptor Bonus Reveal
I saw that
Got that
And then
A mega ton of Final Fantasy 14 music
That I was probably playing before a stream
Just a lot of Final Fantasy 14 music that I was probably playing before a stream. Just a lot of it.
And
then I discovered
that the entire full movie, Riff Tracks
the Talking Cat, is available on YouTube.
So, I
didn't watch it, but I definitely clicked
on it because it's on my list.
And then I guess I clicked on another Riff Tracks
Fairy King of R, full
movie. So I guess I have that to watch at some point. And then I guess I clicked on another Riff Trax Fairy King of R full movie So I guess I have that to watch at some point
And then the Channel 5
Utah Rap Festival video
Which was
That was good
And that's what I watched this week
That's all I've watched this entire week on YouTube
That sounds about right
You've watched like literally
like no gaming
stuff. Yeah, I don't
I don't
I play games all the time.
I have no time to watch other people play games
because then when I watch other people play games,
I immediately think
I should be doing this right now.
These people are busting their ass working.
I should be working right now. That's the thing is it reminds you that that's the thing you do for a living and you should be doing this right now. These people are busting their ass working. I should be working right now.
That's the thing is it reminds you that that's the thing you do for a living and you should be doing it.
And I'm like, I should be doing that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I watch people's videos and see something that they did that I love or whatever.
And I'm just like, oh my God, I should be.
And that's the problem is I will immediately think about that instead of just enjoying my
day or taking time off or whatever.
So I'll watch, you know, random stuff.
And most of the time, honestly, I don't use YouTube.
I'll go on, like, I like discovering things without an
algorithm telling me what I want.
So I log, I don't log in.
I unlog from Reddit and just like surf through
reddit to see what exists without being logged in just so i can see the unfiltered world and i'll
let you know it's fascinating i see some crazy stuff on there i don't imagine whenever i open
like reddit when i'm not logged in it'll be like it'll be like, who do you think was the smartest person before you developed your brain?
Or it was like, what's the dumbest thing you hate about the internet?
It's just dumb shit like that.
And I'm like, I don't know.
That's why I don't go on Reddit.
Like, here's the great example is uh this guy posted i saw dune in theaters and absolutely
loved it decided to order the book on amazon four days later this is what i received and it's just
an empty book it's a book with empty pages like that kind of thing that's what thing. That's what I will look at. I'll be like, yeah, it's messed up, dude.
That is it.
On my side, I'm subscribed to David Lynch Theater.
Classic YouTube channel.
What is that?
That's David Lynch's YouTube channel.
Called David Lynch Theater?
It's where he does the weather reports.
And the number of the day.
I don't watch the number of the day anymore.
I've gotten sick of number of the day, but I do watch the weather reports.
And every Friday, he does this Friday thing where he's like,
It's Novembermber 5 2021 and if you can believe it it's a friday once again
so i watched that i watched some like youtube algorithm channels so i can stay up to date with
youtube and they're just like they've changed the algorithm again they're doing this and subscribers
don't matter and they're like all right subscribers matter slightly more now and i'm like all right all right um i watch a bunch of warhammer channels i've got a physical therapy
channel uh let's see i've got a i'm still subscribed to that weird chiropractor guy
who loves to like talk about crickets and stuff um uh let's see uh let's see what else do i got
here uh i'm subscribed to donkey he's one of the few video game people i watch love me a good donkey
video um review bra of course uh co Cox and Crandor Podcast.
Good channel there.
Could be better.
Yeah.
I mean, it's all right.
I heard those guys are, you know, whatever.
Yeah.
What was this thing?
Oh, the motivation thing I've heard is from the What I've Learned YouTube channel.
That's what it was. What I've Learned. I don't know how, like, accurate he is
or whatever, but, like, I watched it and I was like, I guess
it makes sense. But he could be wrong.
I don't know. It's a YouTube video.
Uh, I take it all with a
grain of salt. There's, like, some
vlogger people. There's, like, uh,
Force Gaming. I gotta unsubscribe
from that one. him got him you know
like really i there's like barely any uh gaming stuff in my history oh that's right i was watching
chubby emu you ever see those no i don't know what that is so this is like one of those he's like a doctor
like i don't even know if he's a doctor like i don't believe anyone uh but like he talks about
medical things that happen to like these people that are like crazy so like he has a man drank
six glow sticks and this is what happened or like like a woman ate... Wait, what happened?
I don't know.
I didn't watch it.
Damn it!
Or like a muckbanger
ate one gallon of pickles.
This is what happened.
I watched that one, though.
So pretty much,
the pickles have so much sodium
that her body was just like
sucking the water out of everything,
and her brain was like
swelling up it was crazy she's pretty much almost died so don't eat a gallon of pickles
it boils down to uh there's like some guy that drank 12 energy drinks in 10 minutes
and his body like freaked out uh pretty much things like, a normal person wouldn't do. But these people did for some reason.
Uh, there's, like, another one that was, like, uh, guy ate two pounds of peanuts.
What?
That is definitely how you get a peanut allergy.
Right?
Like, 100%, that's how you get a peanut allergy.
Yeah, I don't let's a student ate gas station sushi for breakfast this is what happened to his stomach that sounds like a bad
nothing happened that could have been nothing too
that's one of those things where it's like and then yeah he like pooped later. The end.
Let's see. An athlete squatted 500 reps in 20
minutes. This is what happened to his kidneys.
Oh, Jesus.
There's some crazy ones in here.
A grandma ate cookie dough for lunch
every week. This is what happened
to her bones.
What?
Nothing is the answer.
Cookie dough for lunch? That's nothing.
For a week?
It depends on how much cookie dough
she's eating.
Lunch worth of cookie dough.
Right? Just like one lunch worth of cookie dough.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't think these people need to take better care of themselves.
A woman drank a liter of soy sauce colon cleanse in two hours.
I think that lady died.
I think I remember hearing about that.
That lady died.
For sure, that woman's dead.
It's like, can you believe someone died from drinking a liter of soy sauce?
Like, yeah.
Why would you do that?
Yeah.
For a colon cleanse?
Yeah, no, she's dead.
It cleansed her whole body out of itself.
I don't even understand.
I'm going to cleanse my colon.
It's like, what?
Like, just to eat fiber.
Here you go.
You've done it.
Soy sauce it is.
Eat some fiber.
Oh, there's another one.
Some guy tried to do a Metamucil colon cleanse.
He clogged his colon because he was just eating it.
He was eating like a pound of Metamucil.
Oh, my God.
That sounds terrible.
Oh, yeah.
It was bad.
Why are you watching terrible videos?
Your videos, I hate them.
Once you see these, you're just like, I got to see another one.
Nope.
Nope. And then
I found this one
because I was talking to Benji about the
Animal Crossing home designing
because I got the new Animal Crossing update.
Been very good. Solid update.
And
whenever you decorate the animal's house
they're like, wow, thanks.
And it reminded me of, you know,
in those home decorating shows
where they park the bus in front of them or whatever
and they move the bus away.
And they're like, here's your new house.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, it's always funny when you can tell
they don't like it.
They hate it, yeah.
They're just like, here's your new house.
And they're like, whoa, that's interesting.
And it reminded me of that. So I was looking up just like, here's your new house And they're like, whoa, that's interesting And it reminded me of that So I was looking up
Like when home decorations go bad
It's like a whole compilation of them
Just being like, I don't like the house
This room sucks
The worst part is, we're trying to stay under a budget of $12,000
There's no way I'd let someone
Redesign my whole home with like
A mini budget
For an entire home? Get out of town Yeah $12, home with like a like a mini budget for an entire home get out of town
yeah 12 000 seems like a lot until you for an entire home yeah that's yeah so i was watching
those and uh that's that's pretty much my youtube youtube adventures well we know Crendor goes to YouTube for his crackpot science.
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All right, let's go to chapter seven.
Go!
What words did I say?
Chapter, chapter, chapter seven.
Oh, boy.
Which card do I wear?
Hey, how's it going?
Not well.
Apparently, I can't talk anymore.
Hey, can we get somebody to check on that guy?
I don't think he's doing too hot.
Yeah, I mean, there's traffic out there.
You know, it's going to be picking up with the holiday season right around the corner.
I'm here to tell you, though the mcrib is back that's right
folks we've been getting your tweets we've been getting all that mcrib is back and uh keep tweeting
we still need a secret menu designed by everybody uh whoever wants to do it you will get a mention
here because yeah that'd be cool back to you that'd be because that'd be cool all right
let's go to weather we were about to go to sports for a minute we're going to sweater
uh weather time we got a request for bisbee a Arizona, home to the Copper Queen Hotel, which is allegedly haunted and has been featured on at least two paranormal investigation shows.
Third season of Ghost Hunters, sixth season of Ghost Adventures, and also where the Bisbee riots of 1919 happened.
Whoa.
Bisbee, Arizona, the photo of Bisbee, Arizona, the first one, the Wikipedia one,
looks like it was taken in 1906.
Oh, my God, it does.
It is an old-looking photo.
Yeah, that is a cowboy ghost town or something.
Yeah, what's crazy about this is every photo makes it look like it is a ghost town.
It really does.
They're taking photos.
There's another photo I'm looking at.
And it's just the street.
And there's nothing on the street.
There's one person.
In fact, every photo I'm looking at, there's no one on the street.
Actually, I found one photo where there's cars.
Still no people.
What is happening in this stuff?
I want to go here and see if anyone actually lives in Bisbee.
This looks like a place you'd go, like, can I get one sarsaparilla, please?
Like, all right, you got an old Jimbo sarsaparilla saloon.
This looks like a place you could find a good sarsaparilla.
It says on here, according to budgettravel.com, it is the number two spot on ten coolest small towns in America.
Huh.
That's actually pretty high.
If you think about it.
Two hours southeast of Tucson.
They say it's hilly.
And once you get there, you're rewarded with a living portrait of the old West.
Don't know if that's a reward.
Various boutiques and galleries flourish amid restored Victorian homes,
old saloons, and the brewery gulch district.
Now that seems fun.
That does.
Once the stopping grounds of gamblers and prostitutes.
Oh, not anymore.
Man.
Yeah, the Copper Queen Hotel.
The oldest continually operating hotel in the state, dating back over a century.
The Shandy Dell.
A collection of nine revamped retro trailers.
What?
The Killer Bee Guy.
A specialist in insects who's often featured on TV.
He has a shop where he sells honey.
The Killer Bee Guy?
What? The Killer Bee Guy? What? Killer Bee Guy?
What is Crandor?
What is this place?
I'm gonna send you a link to the Shady
Dell. Alright,
dude, I can't tell.
It looks like a
series of restaurants, but the
website is not very...
It's like... It's like a series of restaurants, but the website is not very... It's like...
It's like a bus.
I can't tell if this is a place you would stay.
There's no way.
Vintage Trailer Court has been sought after
destination for over three decades.
Dots Diner serves savory breakfast,
mouthwatering burgers, but what
is it? What am I booking?
Book now.
Am I renting a trailer?
You're renting a trailer.
Oh, I see.
What the?
This is.
But you're renting things like a 1950s trailer that looks like it's from the 50s?
On Inside and Out?
So confused. Yeah, i don't know this is just
huh meanwhile there's also killer b killer b guy.com this one
man is selling desert honey wild desert honey with a bee that looks like he's
going to kick your ass.
That is a killer bee right there.
Also, this whole jar of pollen that he sells, that's one of the few things I'm allergic
to.
That jar right there, that would kill me probably.
It's the full pollen jar.
A pound of pollen?
That's it.
I'm dead.
Bee pollen, one pound.
40 bucks.
Why would you buy bee pollen?
I don't know.
I don't...
Hold on.
What can you use bee pollen for?
What is bee pollen used for?
Allergies.
What?
One of the most common uses for bee pollen is management of seasonal allergies.
What?
Bee pollen may help lower cholesterol, liver health, osteoporosis.
Interactions.
What does interactions mean?
That is...
Interactions.
It just says interactions, period.
Anti-inflammatory properties, antioxidants, wound healing.
Just straight up wound healing.
You know, wound healing.
Bee pollen smoothies.
Overnight oats with berries and bee pollen.
What the?
Bee pollen Power Balls?
I don't.
I've never in my life did I think this is where we'd be today.
I'm just like, bee pollen.
I can't believe it. I need to know what interactions means.
Just interactions?
Oh, it also says it's good for acne?
This seems like this is fake.
It can't be good for everything.
There's no way.
Bee pollen apotherapeutic.
What's an apotherapeutic?
I guess.
I mean, this is a medical journal from 2015.
Oh, interactions is possible side effects if it interacts with anything.
Oh, I see.
I don't know why it says on the Google page interactions period like that's it.
Like interactions will happen.
You can have interactions with everything.
Yeah.
How much bee pollen should you eat daily?
What the hell?
There's no amount, but you might want to start with one-fourth a
tablespoon and gradually increase to two
tablespoons a day?
Am I missing out on
a health thing?
Remember when we had the chlorophyll?
Yes!
This reminds me of some sort of
BS. Yeah, let's take your
chlorophyll. Take your
chlorophyll and add some bee pollen to it.
That's like that lady I heard
at the restaurant years ago be like,
I heard Dr. Oz said if I eat an almond
a day, I'll be living
the good life.
One almond a day is such a crazy
amount of anything.
If I have one almond,
like, alright.
A singular almond.
Right? That's crazy all right. Nano. A singular almond. Right?
That's crazy to me.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sure.
So, anyway, 65 degrees in the skies.
Currently 65.
Humidity 22%.
Pressure 29.96 inches.
10-mile visibility.
You got 8-mile-an-hour winds going to the northeast.
Dew points at 26.
UV index 0. And moon phase is a waxing crescent 641 a.m sunrise 5 25 p.m sunset you got a 10 day forecast
73 uh cloudy 75 mostly sunny and then 70 and sunny, 71 sunny, 70 sunny, 71 sunny, and 73 mostly sunny.
So pretty much just sunny and 70.
That's not bad.
I mean, right now, it's probably the best time to go, I would imagine.
And the other time of the year, it's probably 8,000 degrees.
Oh, yeah, it'd probably melt.
They'll turn you into sarsaparilla that they serve at the old saloon.
Have we reviewed this town before?
I feel like maybe we just keep getting sent weird places out in the southwest
because a lot of it looks the same as places we reviewed before
where it's like in the middle of nowhere, there's a little tiny house.
That little tiny house has metal artwork out front.
Yeah, I think that's just a lot of places.
Yeah.
I mean, agreed.
Especially in Arizona.
Yeah.
It's like Death Valley.
We did.
There's a couple other ones.
We definitely did.
There's that one with the coyote.
Not coyote.
It was the shamans and shit.
They're like walking the forest.
Remember that one?
Yes.
That's what I'm saying.
Man, I'm missing out if we have any
like you know people out there who who want to take us on tours of stuff i'm down i will be
pollen experts yeah i don't know about that that might be the death of me but yeah you know i will
take i will take an expert to like me know. The Munchies Shop.
The Munchies?
Is that like cheese?
Yeah, except it's Munchies.
But it's spelled M-U-N-Cheese.
But it's like Munchies, though.
It's clever.
It's clever.
Yeah. By the way, I think we're only like a week or two away from our nine-year anniversary for this podcast.
Is that true?
Should we do a thing?
Eh, probably.
Should we do a call-in show?
I mean, how do we even do that?
Would that be out of control if we were like, call in right now?
That would be out of control.
We'll set up like a Discord thing, and people can just wait there,
and then someone will pick the call, and that person will be like, hello, am I on?
And we'll just record it.
That would be funny.
That would be amazing.
Like nine years.
I don't know how we'd pull that off.
I don't either.
I think we've mentioned doing this before and then we don't do it probably because it takes so much time to set up.
Yeah, it's too much effort.
What if we just do what we always do?
That's what we do.
Yeah. Usually we'll just forget until it's like, oh, yeah, today's the day.
Oh, well, move it on.
Either way, that's the weather.
Okay, let's go to sports.
Sports.
Big sports news going on.
So over in the NFL, we had our NFL games.
We had the
Raiders lose to the Giants.
That's a big one. Falcons beat the
Saints. Jaguars beat the
Bills 9-6. Don't know how that
happened.
Browns beat the Bengals. Patriots beat
the Panthers. Broncos beat the Cowboys.
Another crazy game. Ravens beat the Vikings.
Dolphins beat the Texans. Eagles lost to the Chargers. The Chiefs beat the Cowboys. Another crazy game. Ravens beat the Vikings. Dolphins beat the Texans.
Eagles lost to the Chargers.
The Chiefs beat the Packers.
Cardinals beat the 49ers.
And the Rams are currently beating the Titans with Bear Steelers coming up tomorrow,
or I guess technically tonight.
Packers game.
It was Jordan Love's first game because Aaron Rodgers likes to, you know,
like use crystals to heal himself or something.
I don't know.
Listen, just want him to throw the football, all right?
That's all I want.
I was going to ask you about that this week because, you know, Aaron Rodgers.
Yeah.
I mean.
He's crazy He's a crazy person
But he's definitely
One of the best quarterbacks
But I just
I don't know, just get the shot
Just get the shot
And then you know 3 billion people have done it
And then you can play football
And we don't have to do this
It is like a crazy thing
to me that that is the line he's like i'm not gonna do it yeah the worst part is he like lied
being like i'm immunized like he word played it you know that's like what are you doing but it's
i was cheering for the new uh jordan love he played the day don't think he did bad, but he didn't do good.
It's a hard environment.
You're on the road against Kansas City.
They almost came back.
Special teams sucked ass.
They're actually the worst part of it.
We could have been tied at the end.
What's our Minshew update?
Minshew actually threw two passes last week.
Right, but was it good?
I mean, he hasn't really, he threw two passes.
He completed both of them for 11 yards.
That was last week.
This week, the Eagles lost again.
I mean, at this point, the Eagles are 3-6,
and Jalen Hurts keeps doing mediocre.
I mean, I would throw the Minshew in there.
See what he does.
I agreed.
That's what I'm saying.
Get the man in.
Yeah.
Like, let's go.
He could probably lead this team to the playoffs
with how the NFC East is awful.
Best case scenario, Aaron Rodgers is out, Minshew is in.
That way, you'd have to care about Minshew.
If Packers could trade for Minshew, they can't because the trade deadline's over.
But, oh, my God, that'd be fantastic.
That'd be fantastic.
So those are all those.
In the NBA, actually a pretty tight race over in the NBA,
even though we're early in the season still.
The 76ers up at the top.
They've got the Heat, the Nets, the Wizards, the Bulls, and the Cavs.
So I've been enjoying watching basketball.
And then in the West, you've got Golden State, Utah, Dallas, Phoenix, Memphis, Denver,
and some other teams.
Worst teams right now, the Pelicans, the Rockets, the Pistons are all very bad.
now the pelicans the rockets the pistons are all very bad uh and then in nhl news carolina's at the top florida's at the top st louis at the top and edmonton up the top those
your best hockey teams how are the kraken doing uh the seattle kra, the newest hockey team, are in last place. Okay.
That's expected.
Uh, so, that's pretty much sports.
Okay.
What is our fact of the day?
Big fact of the day.
Wait, hold on.
There's a, I forgot about a sports story.
What?
Well, this is kind of like a news story, but it's also a sports story.
I could just save it for the end.
Okay.
All right, we'll save it.
All right, fact of the day.
A London tomb is supposedly a time machine or teleportation chamber.
Wait, what?
That's what this says.
I don't know if this is a fact.
I don't know what this means.
Let's find out.
London's Brompton Cemetery inspires some strange beliefs. It's the final resting place of Hannah Courtois,
who had a well-known respect for ancient Egyptians' astrological
and perhaps mystical knowledge. She's buried here along with two of her daughters in a massive
20-foot granite mausoleum that includes a pyramid peak and a bronze door decorated with Egyptian
hieroglyphs. The entryway also features a keyhole, but the key that unlocks it was lost,
Countryway also features a keyhole, but the key that unlocks it was lost, which, along with Courtois' history, sparked the tomb's peculiar reputation.
Because no one can get inside to confirm or deny superstitious suspicion, there's a local legend that says it isn't a tomb at all, but a time machine.
However.
Why? What?
However.
How do we get there?
Historian Stephen Coates told Mental Floss, quote, it's not a time machine.
It's a teleportation chamber.
How?
What?
Crandor, what?
We just became Chiluminati in like five seconds. I might bring this up for Chaluminati. What is
this article? How does this work?
I don't know. Just opening
it may not establish.
What the shit? I just clicked on it.
There's like a whole thing on it being a time
machine. Here, I should come on again
and I'll bring this as my story this time.
You should.
You need to be our guest for this one.
I don't know what this means.
Yeah, this is crazy. There's a whole article on it.
I thought we were going to get a fact, not whatever the hell this is.
There's like a picture of the door. It does kind of look crazy.
I mean, it just looks like a door, though.
It does.
You're telling me inside that door is a teleportation device.
Or a time machine. Right. Or a time machine.
Right, or a time machine.
One of the two.
Yes.
One of those.
I don't know.
How is that a fact?
I don't know.
That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Huh.
Well, here's another fact.
A fortune cookie company once foretold the lottery, resulting in 110 winners.
That's pretty funny, actually.
Yeah.
In 2005, a Powerball drawing had a shocking 110 second place winners,
all who attributed their luck to a fortune cookie.
Drawing out a shocking 110 second place winners, all who attributed their luck to a fortune cookie.
They said they distributed it in Long Island City.
Just so happens they correctly foretold five of the six winning numbers.
That reminds me of when Lost was a big thing that was on TV.
There was, you know, the Lost had like the lottery numbers in the show.
Four, eight, whatever the hell it was And I guess because it was very popular at the time
People were playing those lottery numbers
And somewhere, I don't remember where I read this
But those were the numbers that came up
But because so many people played it
Like the grand prize was
Divided among thousand people
So it's like...
So yeah, I guess that stuff happens.
That's crazy.
Imagine just winning
and you gotta split it
with like a thousand people.
Yeah.
You think like, yes!
And then you realize
everyone else has won too.
So that's your facts of the day.
Alright, what's our big news story?
Alright, so... I was gonna split these up but
okay there's two big news stories one's crazy one's just kind of a thing i'll just start with
the thing new zealand potato named doug just might be the world's biggest can i see doug sure can i'm waiting to see doug here is might just be the world's biggest
whoa that is a you know what i like that but that's a honker that's that guy that's a honker
it's like the size of a big cat it is a 17-pound potato.
Colin and Donna Craig Brown were weeding their garden in New Zealand when Colin's hoe struck something huge beneath the soil's surface.
As the couple knelt down and began digging around the object,
Colin wondered if it was some kind of strange fungal growth or a giant puffball.
After Colin pried out his garden fork,
he scratched away a bit of the skin and tasted it.
A potato.
How'd you taste it?
I bet he sounded just like that.
A potato.
A potato.
We couldn't believe it, Donna said.
It was huge.
Not exactly pretty.
Donna described its appearance as more of an ugly mutant potato.
I think it looks great. Yeah yeah i think it's just a
big potato what do you want it to do yeah it's just like a he's a big boy you got why you got
a problem with that yeah it's quite possibly the largest potato on record when the couple lugged
it into their garage put it on the sale the scale it weighed 7.9 kilograms or 17.4 pounds
that's equal to a couple of sacks of regular
potatoes or one small dog.
In the weeks since their unusual
find, the couple's potatoes become something
of a celebrity around their small farm
near Hamilton. They've named the potato
Doug after the way it was
unearthed. Very
clever. I love that. That is pretty good.
And they even built a small cart to
tow dug around
we put a hat on them we put them on facebook take them for a walk give them some sunshine
it's all about fun it's amazing what entertains people you're telling me a more official way
i love it uh current guinness world record for the heaviest potato is 2011 from Britain,
which was just under 5 kilograms.
They've applied Doug to the Guinness Book of World Records.
They're waiting to hear back.
I imagine he'll win that one easy.
Colin said he doesn't have any secret gardening tips.
Usually they throw a bunch of cow manure and straw into their garden
and see what happens.
That's what happens. And that's what happened.
It's one of nature's little pleasant surprises.
Doug hasn't proven an easy charge to look after as the couple showed the potato off.
He began drying out and losing weight.
Mold started growing from Doug.
He's cleaned it up as best he could and put the potato in the freezer where it remains.
So, and he plans to turn Doug into potato vodka at some point.
Nice.
Now that's, I want a bottle of Doug.
Hook me up.
Hook me up with a bottle of Doug, please.
Well, now this is the big story.
This one's going to blow you away.
I'm ready for it.
Doug pretty much was there already, but all right.
We had a wholesome story.
This is the Cox and Crandor special.
Oh, no.
Monkey belonging to Texas special team football coach's stripper girlfriend
bites child on Halloween.
Holy shit.
That is a Cox and Crandor instant classic.
This was, at first you just, you hear the word monkey and you're like, this is going to be good.
And then it just, it just keeps going.
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
That headline has it all.
Yeah.
Wow.
So here we go.
There are stories made for the internet.
And then there's the story of a pet monkey belonging to a stripper who goes by Paul Assassin,
biting a kid on Halloween.
No. Her name is not Paul Assassin biting a kid on Halloween. No!
Her name is not Paul Assassin.
It is. And Paul
Assassin is dating Texas
special teams coach Jeff Banks
who reportedly left his wife and
kids to be with Paul Assassin.
Oh my god.
I am
okay.
I am not saying I Google Jeff Banks because I want to know who Jeff Banks was,
which now I see him, it's already funny.
But more importantly, now I've looked up pole assassin,
and let me tell you, equally funny. And I now see the monkey even funnier.
Oh, yeah.
No, this is fantastic.
So, according to Texas football photographer Jeff Banks' girlfriend,
the pole assassin has this pet monkey, Gia,
who performs pole dancing routines with her.
The monkey reportedly bit a kid
and had to be pried off the child during a Halloween incident.
Daniel Banks, it's still unclear if they're married, not that it really matters,
posted over the weekend on social media inviting kids over to enjoy a haunted house and maze.
There's no mention of a pet monkey, and it appears the monkey wasn't supposed to be part of the festivities.
Monday night, Dani took to Twitter where she explained how the child got into off-limits areas.
I had a haunted house on one side
gated off, she wrote, before Polisass
and explained she had no idea the boy
had been bitten until the neighborhood doctor
told her about the bite.
The neighborhood doctor? So he just like
so it was several
I've seen, how did the
doctor find out? Did they go to the doctor later and the doctor
was like, what's this bite?
I don't, they also say the neighborhood doctor, like we're living in like this 1500s like the neighborhood
doctors in some places some places they are yeah uh quote no parent have contacted me about it
danny wrote when asked if the monkey is vaccinated she explained how the monkey is up to date on
her shots and it is emotional support animal who is not to be touched.
I, uh,
I'm looking at
screenshots, photos,
whatever these are, of her
with this monkey
on the dance floor
at strip club.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Uh, no one is allowed to touch her, Danny shot back.
Is your mind blown yet?
Now let's get to the pet monkey having a role in Pole Assassin's strip club shows.
The monkey, according to Danny, gives high fives on command,
and you can definitely see that from the content published on their instagram page
uh she's not just some random stripper she appeared on the jerry springer show in 2017
i was going to tell you that that i have a actual there's a tweet posted out in 2017
by the jerry springer show and she responded like thanks for having me y'all
there's something so sweet and innocent about it
you know what I mean like she's like hey thanks
thanks for having me on
the best part is at this is what
at Jerry Springer show tweeted
at poll underscore assassin
which I don't think is this person's
at poll assassin
equals hashtag goat is this person's At pole assassin Equals hashtag goat
Is this the greatest pole dance
To ever hit our stage
Hashtag Jerry Springer
I can't believe
Jerry Springer was on TV
When I was in high school
I can't believe this is from 2017
And it's still going
That's what I heard too too, when they said that.
I was like, hold on a second.
Jerry Springer's still on the air?
It was crazy.
Also, she said it's an emotional support monkey, but he's, like, giving high fives to people.
Yeah, he's emotionally supporting me.
Oh, I guess that adds up.
Yeah.
I love this guy.
Yeah, there's a lot of footage of her high-fiving this monkey.
She responded to a question on Twitter about the allegation.
No one was viciously attacked.
This is a lie.
A whole lie.
She was not a part of any haunted house.
The kid did not have permission to be on the other side of my property.
That's it.
I'm sure a few of you out there have questions.
Probably like, Jesse, do you approve of this coach leaving his family for a stripper and a pet monkey?
Yes.
Yes, I do.
As a person who has dealt with children, pet monkey is way better.
Stripper, pet monkey versus a bunch of complaining kids.
I know what I would choose.
That is true.
You probably would choose the monkey.
I mean, in this day and age, we're abolishing monkey Mondays all across the nation.
Come on.
Every day I choose that.
Look at his face.
This guy.
Look at this monkey.
Hold on.
Let me show you this image.
Open image and new tab. Look at this monkey. Hold on. Let me show you this image. Open image and new tab.
Look at this monkey.
That does look like a sassy monkey.
Yeah, right?
I want that guy to be my friend.
I want to be that dude.
I want to be in his life.
Man, this is...
This is a topic. another episode is what it is
this is another episode
alright well that's it for us
thank you so much for listening or watching
or ever enjoying this podcast
Crendor hit em with the socials
we've got socials youtube.com slash cox
and Crendor podcast find all the
podcasts up over there
you can check them all out we've got youtube.com slash cox and Crendor that's where all the podcasts up over there. You can check them all out. We've got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor.
That's where all the bop-a-da-bop-bops are, the animations.
That's what they're called.
You can also find us on iTunes, SoundCloud, Spotify.
We're all over.
Also, check out our main stuff.
We've got YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox.
YouTube.com slash Crandor.
I've been doing some YouTube shorts.
Look at that.
Mama mia.
We got Twitter, Jesse Cox.
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Okay.
Thanks again.
We'll see y'all next time.
And as always, shake the rhino.
Shake, shake the rhino.
Don't shake the rhino.
High five the monkey.
High five the monkey.
High five the monkey.
High five the monkey.
I'm still shaking
To be continued