Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 324 - That's One Way To Fish

Episode Date: February 4, 2022

The boys are back and this time Crendor has thoughts on Yugioh. That's right, for years we've been giving it a pass, but now we're REALLY going after it! It's about time someone took down big exodia. Also Jesse simply can't understand Warhammer 40k no matter how Crendor tries to sell it to him. All that, and a brand new way to fish! On this exciting new Cox n' Crendor! PLEASE TAKE THE SURVERY: https://roosterteeth.surveysparrow.com/s/Roost-Partner-Survey---Cox-n-Crendor/tt-24d0527ceb Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 15% off your first order plus free shipping. Go to http://beamorganics.com/cox and use code COX for $20 off. Get 83% Private Internet Access by visiting https://privateinternetaccess.com/JesseCox

Today's episode is brought to you by Private Internet Access. PIA is America's number one virtual private network. Also brought to you by Beam. Beam is gonna chill you out and chill you up. Don't know what that means. Anyway, I said it though. And lastly, we're brought to you by me undies. They are the undies that I have on me.

Let's jump into this podcast. They are the undies that I have on me. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trending. This is Trending in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.

In 4-hour recording studios. Recording. Wake your ass up. It'scks and cred door in the morning oh you're like zoomed past Zoomed pass. How you doing? What's going on? Man, I'm doing all right. I was telling you before, but I broke my coffee pot. How? Why?

In what way? You just were... I'm adjusting this microphone. I got to get ready for this big story. Okay, please. Please do. Because this is very important. Yes. So I was making coffee

As you might assume Right, right, you weren't just like playing with a coffee pot No That'd be weird So I was throwing the coffee pot around As I do And I was like, alright, pour the water Pour the water in the thing

And then I was like, alright Or no, that's what it was It had like coffee in it from yesterday So i was like all right uh or no that's it it had like coffee in it from yesterday so i was like i pour this coffee out and then i poured that coffee out and then i filled it with water and then i poured the water in the thing and then for some reason i like went to turn around and i was clipped the bottom of it on the counter it just shattered you know what that's interesting i've never i've never personally broken a coffee pot but i have with a consistency that is jarring dated numerous people that have broken my coffee pots and or broken my various coffee making machines like it is a thing where i stopped buying

coffee related things while dating people because it just became too much every time every time my french press i've gone through four french presses over the course of four separate relationships oh my god i'm like how can i help you learn to use this? Oh, yeah, and it's comical now. It's like, ah, there goes another one. It's like, you know, coffee's not good enough. Got to get that French press. I'm like, okay, as long as you know how to use it. And it always ends up broke every time.

It's shattered because of the pressure and the, I don't know. It's just so dumb. So I'm like, well, okay. So now the only coffee machine I have in my home straight up is one of those Keurig things. So I am destroying the environment for the simplicity of not having to go out and buy like eight coffee pots. That's true. You're not breaking your coffee pots. Yeah, I'm just destroying this world for future generations.

It's fine. I mean, I've only broken one other one, I think, that I can remember. So, I mean, this is just the second. That's not too bad. No, you have a stellar record. Yeah. For a life lived, you're doing very well. Yeah, I'll take it.

Not me. I am in a wash of broken glass and shattered dreams. It's like a poetry line. Not me. A wash of broken glass and dreams. Yeah so you know i did that this week another thing i've been doing playing a pokemon game i saw can i ask you a question yeah i saw that you were streaming it and i assume it's not multiplayer and you were streaming with friends? Yes, correct. Because it was like 80. Look, I love a good stream with people,

but part of me felt bad because there was like 80 people talking and you were just trying to give shout-outs to me. You were trying to clap people in the background. There was like all these conversations happening, and I was like, this poor man. This poor man. He's just trying to clap his hands together. Sometimes.

I mean, I don't really mind it when I'm doing my high fives, you know, like whatever. All you hear is like, right. But, you know, there wasn't too many people. It was just like five, five ish. I know Sam Gmart were there. And then other people are just like hopping in and out uh so that was you know uh that was pretty but there's a thing with new pokemon games so i started and i was like everybody just says the graphics are bad that's all i ever heard i was

like is the game fun and they're like the graphics are bad like i don't care so i was like all right i'm gonna give it a shot see how it goes goes. So I start playing, you know, graphics. They're not my favorite graphics, but I, you know what? I don't dislike them. Like, I think they're all right. Some of the things that are bad, like I'm not a big fan of the water. There's like some other artistic things they did that feel rushed or something. So I was like, all right.

But the mechanics in the core of the game I was like alright this is pretty fun but the oh my god Pokemon tutorials I swear to god they are they are just it's so hand holdy for like well it's designed for children you say that but like half the audience is not

children I understand but it's still designed for children yes so I'm not saying they should get rid of it i'm just saying i have to like spam the a button to make it through and i'm just like all right they're like do you know about pokemon but i've been playing this shit since pokemon red and blue all right do i know about pokemon okay then i make it through all that and then you just start catching the Mons. You know, you start battling. And then after a while, I realized, I was like, oh, this is just like the whole game.

You're just catching Mons, battling Mons, which is kind of Pokemon, all the games. But usually you have like gyms and you have other stuff. And I was like, oh, you know, this is all right. It's open world, makes it kind of fun because they can attack you and you got to dodge. And there's like that. So, you know, it adds a new element to it. And I was like, whatever. So the next day i saw g martin sam playing i was like all right i'll hop on and play with them it's usually when you're playing with other people did they actually go to

bed uh yes however when sam goes to bed he plays video games for another like two hours off stream so that's like his wind down less yep he had a rough day and he needs to wind down from such a trying day i mean i get it if i stream 12 hours a day i'd have to wind down too i don't i don't understand if i stream for more than like five hours, the minute I turn the stream off, I literally sink into my chair and just go. Oh, yeah. And then don't move. One time I actually fell asleep in my chair.

I was so like, oh, I'm just tired. Oh, come on now. Yeah. If I stream over like three hours, I have to like stand up. I got to move around like I can't do it. Like I physically can't do it like i i physically can't do it so i'm saying my butt hurts my i'm like i gotta my my butt is falling asleep i can't be sitting i it blows my mind when i see people are like hour 26 i'm like how how did you do this yeah i don't i don't understand it's like you know i don't get it either especially

since like sam's already older and in pain he's just like neck hurts again i'm like i wonder why you're just streaming 12 hours a day uh but where was i at oh yeah so the pokemon so i go back the next day they're playing i was like i'll play with them and just like talk and hang out you know so i'm doing that and then i played for another like two hours and then i was like i want to keep playing and like ever since then i've just like i've been hooked in so at first i was like hey you know what i'll probably give this game like a six but now i'd probably give it like a 7.5 that's pretty much a lot of people have been saying that uh visually it's not that great to look at. And it is kind of like a baby's first Pokemon vibe.

But gameplay wise, mechanically, it's phenomenal is what a lot of people have been saying. Yeah. No, I'd agree with that to a point. I mean, I think I don't know if I'd want this to be my first pokemon game maybe like second or third but well i mean there's gonna be a lot of people are gonna play this for the first actually that's a lie most first time pokemon people play pokemon go that's their first pokemon experience yeah uh i mean i feel like most people at least played it on the Game Boy or like a handheld system DS. I don't know, man.

See, the problem is that we're looking at it from like our perspective. And I can say, yeah, well, I played Pokemon. But for me, Gold Silver was the last one I played. And that was how many years ago? That was a while, yeah. There have been a lot Of Pokemon games Since And what's crazy

Is Seeing people jump Into different generations And having different Experiences Just you know Because turns out And I know this is

Going to sound crazy Since we were born Other people Have been born Crendor Who are younger Than us I know

I know Who are younger Than us And Are just discovering I know. Who are younger than us and are just discovering things that we've known for a while. It's wild. I know. That's wild. What's crazy is Pokemon, you could have been born...

Oh my god. I need to look this date up. Pokemon, I'm trying to think of... Pokemon Red, Blue came out in 1996 and in 98 in the US. Oh, 98 in the US, okay.

So, alright. 1998 in the US. Yeah, I was nine years old. That's what I'm saying. There are people that are now old enough to go fight in a war that weren't even existing when the first Pokemon came out. Yeah. So, you know, actually there are people who weren't alive.

There are people who weren't even alive who now can drink when the first Pokemon was. I'm just, that's crazy to me. So definitely there are people who are 10, you know, people who weren't even alive when Lord of the Rings came to theaters. That is. That's all I'm saying. Actually, people weren't even alive when The Hobbit came to theaters 10 years later. They're now playing Pokemon for the first time.

I'm just saying. When you think about it that way, it's crazy. It is crazy, yeah. It feels like a solid entrance into the franchise because it doesn't seem like overly RPG-y. Yeah. At least that's what it looks like. I clearly haven't played. But it looks like it's just like a, what is that?

I was going to say Skyward Sword, but that's not. Breath of the Wild. Wind Waker. No, Breath of the Wild. Wind Waker. No, Breath of the Wild. That's what it is. Why does everything have Skyward Sword, Wind Waker, Breath of the Wild? It's a naming convention and a theme that I get, but I'm old. It confuses me.

I'm like, what was that, Zelda? Remember when it was Zelda 1 and Zelda 2 and then Link to the Past? I think Breath of the Wild is my favorite, though. Not at all. Really? I don't know. Maybe I'm too old. I still love Link to the Past.

Link to the Past and Ocarina are my favorites. I tried to play Ocarina of Time and I quit. I literally couldn't do it. Ocarina of Time currently stands in the exact same place that another one of my favorite games, Vagrant Story, is where I have the memory of having played it

at the time, which is why I love it, but going back, having tried to play Vagrant Story recently, having tried to play Ocarina, I cannot handle them. They're like too old for me. these games aged poorly trolls are just so bad yes yes it's so bad and so like the thing with me is i like breath of the wild because i like open world uh well i'm not a big open world game person but if it's done well

i like it i think they did it real well and it's very like studio ghibli vibes and i like that about it so i just like walking around because it's very like ambient and comforting have you ever played nino cooney i've seen people play it it literally is studio ghibli vibes it straight up is like fantasy pokemon like the whole point is this is an rpg but you go around and you collect monsters to have the monsters fight on your behalf it's probably probably going to be on sale for like $5 or something. Oh, yeah. The old Ni No Kuni. Like, yeah, there's a new one, Ni No Kuni 2,

but that one's more like Pikmin kind of. I don't know how best to describe that. It's a little bit different. I think you would enjoy it. Plus, it's visually beautiful, and I think you would like the fat cat Alright, okay. There's like a big fat cat. This is great. He's great. Yeah, I just like aesthetically pleasing comforting games environment stuff I Got oh yeah, so it was just the new Pokemon. Oh my god by the way. Did you see that? There's that new yugioh?

By the way, did you see that there's that new Yu-Gi-Oh? I saw it only because Octopimp has not stopped playing it. Right. So I saw him playing it. Then I was like, well, I got to download this. And so it's pretty much Magic the Gathering Arena, but Yu-Gi-Oh, which it is not surprising to me that everybody's doing like the Hearthstone Magic the Gathering Arena route because it's just playing games online. And so I was like all

right i haven't played yugioh since like eighth grade and i swear to god i started opening packs and it's like here's this card and it's like three paragraphs on one card that you have to like pull out a magnifying glass to read and i'm like it's like you can secret summon the power of twice the thrice if not, if your opponent does the thing, but if this condition is met and I'm like, holy shit. Back in my day, you just had the legendary fisherman.

Okay, here's my legendary fisherman. While Umi is on the field, this card is unaffected by spell effects and cannot be targeted for attacks but does not prevent your opponent from attacking you directly all right simple easy you know what it does but you look at like some of these new cards and it's like insane they have like pendulum summoning which i think i need to like take a class to learn how to do and now like everybody just apparently uh builds like the one one good deck and runs, and they try to kill you in one turn, and that's just the Yu-Gi-Oh.

There is Heather Feather. So there is an ASMR person, and the only reason why I know this is because I think I mentioned, I don't know, some episode in the past about how I found this girl who did a Pokemon deck opening. And I thought it was very cute that it was just like her being like, I think this is a cute Pokemon. It was like an ASMR, right? Yeah. But that rabbit hole took me to other card openings.

Like all these men and women on the internet are just opening them but doing like, this is Pikachu. Well, I ended up at Heather Feather, and hers was binaural ASMR. I don't know what that word is. Anyway, over 100 holographic Yu-Gi-Oh cards, rare, ultra-rare, secret rare. And so it's her literally just going over her crazy deck and being like, I would use this card all the time. But I realized, while looking

at the Yu-Gi-Oh cards, the reason why I never got into Yu-Gi-Oh is because it is so insanely complicated. Yes. Looking at the, like, her describing the cards and, like, the trap effects and this. And I was like, how did a kid play this game?

How were children playing this? This is insane. Well, it's gotten more complicated over the years. Well, of course it has. So like, okay, here we go. Back when I played. Okay. Back in my day.

Here's one of the cards from back in my day. All right. I'm going to show you a legendary fisherman. I'm sure there's still some cards like this but there it is right looks okay looks like a card like a magic card or anything okay now look at this card from like modern yugioh oh my god what the that's what i'm saying i'm not my brain big enough to play that game. The best way to describe this is, Krendor sent me The Legendary Fisherman, and it literally is just a dude, I think, riding an orca,

holding a spear, and it says warrior, and then effect, and then it's, hey, while you do this, this can't be this, and that's that, and then it has the attack and defense. Meanwhile, the next thing he linked me was Nirvana High Paladin. If a pendulum monster you control attacks for that battle it cannot be destroyed in battle. And then it's like

a whole paragraph and on the side it has an 8 red and an 8 blue and then underneath it it has spellcaster synchro effect and then lists another paragraph of stuff that is incredibly small. I can barely read it. And it's talking about, like, if you do this, then you can have your opponent's LP.

And then if you're in the monster zone, right, and then it has an attack and then a defense. That's insane. But here's the thing. It says this was from 1996. Does it? It does. 1996, Kazuki Takahashi. Maybe that's the artwork.

Maybe the artwork is from 96. Yeah, I think the artwork's from 96. I don't think... This is Pendulum Summoning, and they did not have Pendulum Summoning when I played. I hate to be that guy, but... The Nirvana High Paladin says 1996, but the Legendary Fisherman, the one you said was the original that you played,

says 2020. Well, I mean, they probably still print the card. So, you know, I'll just put that out there. Yeah, no, I mean, I get it. I just think it's very funny that you're like, this one from when I was a kid is way better, and it literally is a newer card from the image you sent me let's see nirvana high paladin let's see this came out in it's got to be here it's got to be here released facts come on Oh my god. There's so much text. I don't care. I just want to know when it got

released. Card tips. I don't care. Alright. I'm about to give up. Wait. Wait. Okay. Initial release 2016. That checks out.

Then you were correct. I was correct. I knew I wasn't crazy. I knew it. What's interesting is that this is a perfect example of why I don't play card games like this. Even going back, so in Witcher 3, there was Gwent, right? But Gwent in Witcher 3 was literally just math. It was like, you need this many points to do this many things, and that's it. Then they made Gwent the card game, and in the card game, it was very similar to this.

It was like, well, spell effect, this thing, and I truly, to my core, dislike games like this, where I have to read eight paragraphs, and I'm like, alright. So, if I just create the synergies, I'm like, I don't want a synergies. I don't want to do anything but that. And, yeah, I can't do car games. They look beautiful. They're super neat. But all the synergies and this and that is just, like, too much for me.

I realize they have. Oh, well, you have to deck build. You got to do this. I'm like, what if I didn't, though? So they have Legendary Fisherman 2. And then they have Legendary Fisherman 2 and then they have Legendary Fisherman 3. And you can see as... Whoa, Legendary Fisherman 2 looks like a badass.

You can see as they progress, the text just grows. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Maybe that's the problem is you had the basic ass one who's like, I do one thing. And then Legendary Fisher fisherman 2 is like yeah well part of it was i think i was reading about it and they said they don't use keywords or something where when you play something like magic the gathering it's like oh this thing has trample and you know like oh okay i know what trample is but i guess they don't have that from what i was hearing and so they just explain it all in text form

which is why the descriptions are so like this is this isn't the description for legendary fisherman 3 is insane cannot be normal summoned set don't know what any that means so you have to know that well yeah then it says normal summon special summon others pendulum something I'm not hours then it's like must be special summoned from your hand by tributing, that's a capital T, so tributing is a thing, tributing the legendary

fisherman. When this card is special summoned, you can banish all monsters your opponent controls. Also, this card cannot attack this turn. So that at least kind of makes sense. Right. Cannot be destroyed by battle or card effects. Also, unaffected by spell trap effects.

Once per turn, you can return as many of your opponent's banished cards as possible to their, I assume, GY's graveyard. And if you do, the first battle or effect damage your opponent takes this turn becomes doubled. So already, this is one card, and I can think of at least two things I have to keep on the top of my head every turn. That's too much for me.

Well, the thing is, I like card games, but this is even just too crazy for me. My thing is I like magic drafts, because when you magic draft, it allows you to get different styles of decks or like you're not playing against the same decks every time when you play against

constructed stuff it's like I built the greatest deck of all time and you're like okay cool but when you draft you have to like create your own deck and then see how it goes based on what you got in RNG so I like that at At least with magic, stuff makes sense. Like, things make sense. So here's a random card I got. Dragon Master Outcast. It's a red card, so it's fire-based. Creature Human Shaman, right?

So already I'm like, I know what I'm dealing with here. At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control six or more lands, right? So we know what lands are. We know what upkeep is. Just put a 5-5 red dragon on the field. That's it. That's all it does. I have six lands.

I put the dragon down that has a 5-5. That's it. Yeah. Magic's usually pretty straightforward. It's so simple. But that's what I like about it, too. Exactly. No, absolutely that's what I like about it too Exactly no absolutely that's what I like about it

Now I will say I forgot about one other thing Which were on the subject of games I also learned how to play 40k Can I tell you the thing Really quickly before you tell me how you learned it Yep There is a YouTube channel where

These guys put on 40k campaigns Not campaigns I guess But battles Battle reports It might be battle report Where these guys put on 40k campaigns. Not campaigns, I guess, but battles. Battle reports. It might be battle reports. They record all of it. That's what they're called. I watched this one guy.

It was a tyranid slash marine battle. But there were like 40 billion points. And so they just had massive armies. And it was basically like the guy to survive five waves of attack and concept wise was awesome I was like oh my god this is so neat and everything about it looks cool and then they started

playing and I was like ah this is boy this is I'm gonna fast forward through this and I was like alright two hours later. And okay, what happened? Really good ones are play on tabletop.

They have really good high quality battle reports. What is it like? It isn't low quality. It had effects and cool shit going on. But just the idea of what you're actually. Thank God. Total War Warhammer exists. Because actual Warhammer is like, it's a level too high

for me. I'm like, you gotta, I gotta collect all, this dude at one point, an enemy attacked, and he's like, alright, so I need to roll 80 die and any threes that I get are a successful hit. So it's just him dumping dice on it.

I'm like, this sucks. This isn't cool. It's awesome. How do you not like rolling dice? 80, like three, six maybe. Just take a bucket. Just take a bucket and dump it. All right, make it a threes.

Depends on the arm of your play. If you get that many dice. Most of the time, you're only rolling like, you're playing. If you get that many dice. Most of the time you're only rolling like under 20 dice. Maybe like 20-30 if you're shooting a lot. See, I played Age of Sigmar.

So like Age of Sigmar, you don't roll as many dice because you don't really have as many shooty spam units. There's a lot of shooting but usually it's like consolidated shooting like 10 shots or like 10 shots or 15 shots or 5 shots. So you don't roll as many dice. But usually you're rolling the hit and

wound, so out of those 80 dice you have to hit, so you have to roll whatever your hit is, so if it's 3s you have to roll higher than 3 or higher, and then you have to wound, which is like rolling again, so you have to roll twice to actually hit them, and then they have a chance to save it. Again,

it's so much. It's so crendor. It's so much. It's not that much once you'll earn it. No, no, no, no, no. Mechanically, I understand the idea of the dice and it being like, well, on a 5-6 I get a hit, or on a 2-3, whatever. I get that.

But at the same time, dudes are like breaking out measuring tape. Well, you have to measure. That's how you move. That sucks, dude. That sucks. That sucks. That sucks. It doesn't suck.

You're entitled to your opinion even if it's wrong. It's fine. It's just a very advanced board game. I mean, it's a tablet's just a very like advanced board game i mean it's a tabletop war game i understand there's but it's also the reason i'm not in a tabletop war game i just you just don't get it here's the thing i don't you say like oh that would take forever it takes hours but then you'll play final fantasy for eight hours. Yeah, but that's because I'm doing a thing that... Final Fantasy isn't me sitting there being like, alright, so...

This is 15 inches away. And if I... You know what it is? The perfect example is when I played Warhammer Blood Bowl with you. Right.

It's the exact same thing. I didn't like it then when it came down to movement and position and then rolling die and percentages. You don't like strategy. No, no, no, no. I like strategy But admittedly There's There's more to it than that

There's chance involved Like a lot of chance Yes you're strategically trying to use The least The lowest amount of dice rolls So that you have a high success of succeeding Or putting yourself in a good position None of that's fun to me.

I see. I think we've established before. There's two types of game players. Those who like the challenge, like the struggle of I'm climbing uphill and I'm constantly bombarded with pain and in the end I'll be victorious. And then those who like the power fantasy and I'm the power fantasy guy. I want to be like level 99 from the start. And I want to murder everyone along my way.

I want to be the biggest badass who ever lived. And then when I'm done be like, well, that was fun and move on with my day. Like, that's why I love dynasty warriors where I can hit a thousand guys in one battle and just be like, it's, it's a different style of player. And I know that you are the guy who's like, I want to be bombarded with pain.

I want to succeed because I've earned this. Yeah, no, I'm good. I don't need that. That's the thing. It's like when you're already at the top, like, who cares? It's like just getting the max level and then you're like, all right, level like you gotta you gotta level through the levels no i'd rather start at max level all right well yeah we're i'd rather start at max level i want to be kratos at the end of a god of a war game where i have all my abilities unlocked and i'm just like killing gods and slashing bodies. I want that from moment one.

So we're getting that is that you just want to be the strongest, most powerful person ever and just shit on people. Yes, correct. But I am the opposite where I just want to grow in power and then eventually be strong like I earned it. Yeah, you want to earn it. You're definitely the hero of the story. I'm clearly the villain.

There's no doubt about that. I mean, I know what I am. I just want that power, and then I will use it for nefarious purposes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean... Well, I mean, I don't know. In League of Legends and stuff, when you're playing, I wouldn't say I'm a hero.

Sometimes it is. It's like I said, it's about making other people not have fun. That is. Because they're also trying to go along the path. Then you're like, guess you're not going. Guess I'm going ahead of you. And then, boom, you Denny's them and they're also trying to go along the path, and then you're like, guess you're not going. Guess I'm going ahead of you, and then boom, you Denny's them, and they're gone. Oh, so you have to like, you're eye of the tiger in your way.

You have to like take people out on your way up. Me, I'm already at the top, and so I don't even concern myself with anyone else. But the thing is, I also don't like the, I like when it's a very competitive, close match or environment, whatever it is, whatever you're playing. Because if it's like, oh, I'm really good at this game and I don't play against someone who's really bad,

so I'm way ahead in power level or whatever it might be, then it's not even fun. It's like you're LeBron James playing against middle schoolers, just dunking on them. Yeah, that sounds great to me. I would love to be LeBron James dunking on 12-year-olds. Are you kidding me? That would be amazing. And those kids would remember that. I would love to be LeBron James Duncan on 12-year-olds. Are you kidding me? That would be amazing.

And those kids would remember that. I'd teach them a lesson. Those kids would be like, Mr. LeBron? I'd be like, dunk, bitch. Yeah. Oh, yeah, those kids would remember me. So anyway, I learned how to play 40K. As somebody who never really thought I'd play 40k because i mainly like fantasy stuff and warhammer

fantasy and like sigmar and i was like i'm not a big space person but i like necrons and i like orcs and that's it nothing else interests me just necrons and orcs and so that's all I've played. Admittedly, the Necron, like space skeletons that are like machine skeletons look cool as hell. Admittedly, they're very cool. They're very cool. Everything else just feels like it's Space Marines or variation of Space Marine. It's like this is a Death Space Marine. This is a Chaos Space Marine. This is an Elf Space Marine. You're like, this is a death space marine. This is a chaos space marine. This is an elf space marine.

You're like, okay. Agreed. I'm not a big 40K fan. I think it's kind of like, I don't know. Is it okay to say it's too dark? You know what I mean? Like, everything in 40K is like, and then in order to power a warship, 8,000 people are sacrificed every day. And then in order to create a machine, you must kill 50 children.

I'm like, this sucks. This is dumb. Well, you're just, I mean, you're only looking at one faction or whatever. This is why. The humans. The human faction is what I'm looking at. We learned that from my D&D thing. It carries over. I just...

I hate all the human factions in every game. They're just boring, and I don't like it, which is why I just... If you look at everything I play, it's like Lizardmen, Skaven, Orcs, Robots. That's all I play. Even in my World of Warcraft character,

I got Taran, Orc, Troll. Agreed. That's all I play. Even in my World of Warcraft character, I got Tauren, Orc, Troll. Agreed. You will be happy to know that last night I started a... Because I was really bored. I went back and did Warhammer 2 and

started a Lizardman campaign as some dude who's like the white lizard. Which that was very... Is he the Croxigor? No, it's like Gormok or some... He's from Iztarok.

Yeah, Gormok. He's a sunblood. He's got the shield. I love how you know this stuff. That dude is like in the bottom corner. And so I was like, oh, perfect. He's in the corner.

He doesn't have to watch his back. I'd love to start this campaign. So I started it and I kept one more turning because I was doing so well. And I'll let you know the reason why I kept doing that. My power fantasy. Because I didn't have to watch my back. I conquered the south so quickly that I was so powerful. I was just marching north, destroying, and I was like, this is great.

This is amazing. No one stands in my way. Get out of the way, vampires. Get out of the way, humans. Get out of the way, elves. It was great. And that is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. Yeah, but at the same time, you're also on a journey to grow stronger.

I mean, yeah, but i felt pretty strong i may be on the journey to grow stronger but i felt pretty strong to begin with i you literally start with another you have your main guy and then you have another dude who's like a lizard and like a floating tomb oh do you get lord croak i think so yes you get him for like freezies yeah so that dude is just like stronger than a normal slain he's like the most powerful slain that's what i'm saying so that dude is like giving me all these extra things and so i was super straight up from the beginning he's like i heal all of your units so if you attack they're healed immediately the next turn I'm like great. I Was broken loved every minute of it had a blast I Want more of that

Alright, I mean you're the guy who plays like a RTS game on team deathmatch you start with like 80,000 of each resource Yeah Yeah, it's uh uh let's see you know different strokes for different folks yeah the most the most different yeah strokes yep mm-hmm well uh speaking of speaking of different strokes oof that's weird Keystrokes that is There we go saved it Jesse We have a survey That we would love for you to take

Rooster Teeth Our delightful parent company Is doing a survey Just so they can learn more about You Listening right now And what you like about this podcast So it would be very helpful if you could click the link It's in the description you listening right now and what you like about this podcast.

So it would be very helpful if you could click the link. It's in the description. If you're on YouTube, it's in the description below. If you are listening, I don't know. I'll like tweet it out. That's probably not a great idea. If you're listening, it is in the descriptor there as well hopefully that link works maybe just copy it and then go there whatever the case may be it's the roosterteeth.surveysparrow.com link uh please by all means go there it will ask you just a bunch of questions like how often you

listen stuff like that i don't know what it's for but they asked us to do it and so we shall this is like when you go to taco bell and they they're just like, hey, take the receipt and go online and fill it out. And I'm like, okay. But you're not going to get a free taco from us. Yeah, you're not going to get a free taco, but please do it. Yeah, please do it. Pretend you're eating. Go buy a taco and then do it, and then you'll feel like you got a free taco, except you spent your own money.

Exactly. Exactly. You got a free taco, except you spent your own money. Exactly. Exactly. Also today, we're brought to you by Beam. Hey, do you want to be part of the wellness revolution of 2022? I mean, come on.

Everyone is trying to get better, feel better, get more fit. There's so many different ways to get over the fact that we just spent two years probably, except for Crendor. Most of us are in the worst health we've ever been in. It's just a lot of time at home doing absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, Crendor over here like, I am the alpha male, right? Yeah, I went to the gym today. See? Well, the first thing you can do to get better with yourself and the world is sleep more. It's the key to everything we do is getting enough sleep.

And Beam Premium CBD is here to help with that. If you're listening right now, you can get a really great discount on Beam's sleep product, Dream Powder. It is their best-selling healthy hot cocoa. It contains natural sleep-promoting ingredients. It's triple lab-tested, no THC, and you wake up refreshed. Just mix Dream Powder into hot water or milk and stir it and enjoy before bedtime. It is one of my go-tos. Every time I'm like, man, I need to be asleep, but I'm still jacked from the day,

and I got to be up tomorrow. Trust me when I say, when you got, I don't know, like an hour before bed, just like make yourself a nice cup of cocoa and sit down or walk around your house and reflect on, I don't know, the world. I have no idea. Do what makes you happy. And then you will find very quickly that you are ready for bed. Trust me. Find out why Forbes and New York Times are all talking about beam and why it's trusted by the world's top athletes like Danica Patrick and Baker Mayfield. For a limited time, get $20 off, $75 or more when you go to beamorganics.com slash cox and use code cox at checkout. That's B-E-A-M organics.com slash cox and use code cox for $20 off.

Make 2022 the year of you with Beam. Also today, we're brought to you by Private Internet Access. PIA is America's number one virtual private network, or VPN, PIA is America's number one virtual private network, or VPN, that hides your IP address, encrypts your connection, and keeps you safe online, offering you the secure internet that even incognito mode can't provide. If you're not okay with the cable company or Google having access to all your info, which they definitely do, PIA can help keep your data out of their hands. If you've never used a VPN before, PIA will encrypt and reroute your internet traffic,

hiding your data from all the people and businesses trying to collect it online. It also has the ability to unlock geo-restricted content, save for streaming platforms like Netflix when you're trying to watch a show from the UK. It comes with easy-to-use apps and browser extensions for all devices, a rock solid privacy policy, open source security, advanced customization, and was just ranked the fastest VPN by PCMag. If you want to learn more or sign up right now and take advantage of a great deal, three years of access plus an additional four months free for just $1.98 a month. That's 83% off. With a 30-day money-back guarantee and millions of users worldwide, private internet access is the right choice when it comes to protecting yourself online. All you got to do to get 83%

off three years and four months of PIA is go to privateinternetaccess.com slash jessicox. Once again, for $1.98 a month, go to privateinternetaccess.com slash jessicox. Also today we're brought to you by MeUndies. Are you in love with someone right now? Listening, listening, right now, are you in love with someone? If you said no, how dare you? Do you not love yourself? Well, look, we're not perfect.

None of us is perfect. No relationship is perfect. Not even a relationship with each other. But let me tell you something. You can make it a little bit better by gifting me underwear for Valentine's Day. Because there's nothing like gifting underwear to your significant other for Valentine's Day. Because there's nothing like gifting underwear to your significant other for Valentine's Day. I mean, hopefully you'll get to see each other in them, you know what I'm saying?

And if you're single and looking to mingle, mingle yourself into a pair for yourself, maybe a friend or your family, or just take two. What the heck? Also you can get it for your buddy. You can get a dog hoodie or buddy bands to match with your four-legged BFF. There's plenty to choose from at MeUndie. Super soft, super cute undies, socks, bralettes, loungewear, shirts, all sorts of stuff from sizes extra small to 4XL. MeUndies has their great offer as always.

For a limited time, 25% off your first order of matching pairs for Valentine's Day. And if you're a first-time purchaser, you can also get 15% off and free shipping right to your door. This is a great deal! To get 25% off matching pairs, 15% off your first order,

free shipping, 100% satisfaction guarantee. Go to MeUndies.com slash Crandor. That's MeUndies.com slash Crandor. That's me. All right, let's go to the traffic. Let's go to the traffic. There's a lot of traffic out there.

Oh, boy. Traffic is, oh, God. It's going. Look at that. Wow, there's a lot of traffic down there. In fact, except if you're on the East Coast, then there's not a lot of traffic because there's the big blizzard, big snowstorm hitting.

So, yeah, watch out for that one. But aside from that, let me just say yeehaw. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's from that, let me just say yeehaw. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk.

Weather time. Well, there's a blizzard happening. Did you know that? I am aware. I heard that in the traffic report. That's what happens. They mentioned in the traffic report That's what happens They mention it in the traffic report

They just brought up on the weather You know Crazy You know what the winter storm is called Crendor Eric Nope Kenan

Kenan? As in Kenan and Kel? Yeah like Kenan and Kel Amazing Eric. Nope. Keenan. Keenan? As in Keenan and Kel? Yeah, like Keenan and Kel. Amazing. Yeah. Let's see. Actually, I think it's snowing there right now. Let's see.

Northeast starts digging out. Oh, geez. Two feet of snow. So it looks like Connecticut got 21.5 inches. Massachusetts, 24 inches. And Bridgewater, New Jersey, 21 inches. Atlantic City, 16 inches. New York, 24 inches.

Rhode Island, 21 inches. 83 mile an hour winds on Cape Cod. Woo. Big time power outages. There's some wild stuff going on over there. Did you know there's a show called Kenan? I did not. A TV show.

And it's Kenan. Kenan stars in the show about Kenan. It's crazy. Oh, interesting. I did not know that. Yeah, well, now you know. Now I know. What's crazy is if you type in Kenan, you get advertisements for Kenan's show,

Kenan on Saturday Night Live, and headlines like, Kenan swirls away leaving bitter cold tips, which now I'm just imagining the ridiculous Kenan Thompson just twirling. Why is that? How am I writing Saturday Night Live bits? Make it happen. Thompson just twirling. Why is that?

How am I writing Saturday Night Live bits? Make it happen. So let's go to Boston for this one because I apparently got hit hard. Good old Boston. In Boston, Massachusetts. It's 12 degrees. Light snow and wind now. Looks like things are calming down a bit. Let's see.

Got under an inch of snow every hour. So, yeah, it looks like things are calming down a bit uh let's see you got under an inch of snow every hour so yeah it looks like it just left there uh wowee and it currently feels like negative eight degrees with a 73 percent humidity 20 29.46 inches of, 1.5 miles of visibility, 25 mile an hour wind still, so it's still windy out there. You got your dew point at 5, you got your UV index at 0, and you got your moon phase as a waning crescent. The hourly forecast, you got, well actually, it's just snow and cold for the hours. Let's look at the 10 day. It's just snow and cold for the hours. Look at the 10-day.

Saturday night, snowy and windy conditions. Evening giving way to some clearing late. Some blowing and drifting snow. 20-30 miles an hour chance of snow, 90%. Yeehaw. It's Sunday, though. 25 degrees and sunny. So, quite the opposite. Then we got Monday, 31, mostly sunny.

It's mostly Sunday on Monday. You know what? I feel that sometimes. That's not a lie to me. That's true. Tuesday, 36, mostly cloudy. Wednesday, 42, cloudy. Thursday, 44 with showers.

That's practically spring. cloudy. Wednesday, 42 cloudy. Thursday, 44 with showers. That's practically spring. And then Friday, 39 with rain and freezing rain. And Saturday, 26, partly cloudy. Then it becomes less spring. And that's the Boston weather. Okay.

Alright, let's go to sports. Sports. all right let's go to sports sports welcome to sports oh i'm here yeah so uh we've got sports so i mean no nfl games have happened yet bengals chiefs are going to be playing in the championship. 49ers Rams also be playing in the championship. News that Tom Brady might retire, which is pretty wild. 22 years in the NFL. You know what? I say good retirement.

Have fun. Here's the thing. People were reporting his retirement. The ESPN was, then the NFL Network was, and then somebody was like, Tom Brady said he hasn't said anything yet. was, and then somebody was like, Tom Brady said he hasn't said anything yet.

And Tom Brady's dad was like, he said he hasn't made up his mind yet. So part of me is like, if Tom Brady is just mad and all the media saying he's going to retire, what if he's just like, you know what? Screw it. I'm not retiring. Like, he seems like the type of guy to do that. No, I say he gives in to pressure. I mean, I don't know.

I don't know. You know what? I say he gives in to pressure. I don't think. And retires. Well, I think he's still going to retire, though, yeah. So, yeah, that's the football news over in basketball. Deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle top with the Warriors, Grizzlies, Jazz, Mavericks, Nuggets, Clippers, Timberwolves all in the top eight spots.

Over in hockey, you've got the Panthers at the top, the Hurricanes at the top, the Avalanche at the top, and the Golden Knights at the top. Also at the top. See, they're all like me. They're all like, everyone's at the top. Also at the top. See, they're all like me. They're all like, everyone's at the top. We all have superpowers. Well, there's some teams not at the top. They're not at the superpowers. Yeah, but like, I'm not concerned about them. I mean, you should be.

They might be flying up the rankings you know so uh the last sport we got to cover is the olympic games are going to be happening in less than a week now six days oh is there gonna they can do like a olympics opening you know what i mean i'm pretty sure they all get opening ceremony i haven't heard anything about like no one's running with a torch They're going to do like a Olympics opening. You know what I mean? I'm pretty sure. Like an opening ceremony. I haven't heard anything about like no one's running with a torch. I don't know. What's going on?

I have no idea. Olympic torch. What's happening here? Olympic relay. The Olympic flame symbol. None of this is helpful. This is all like, do you know what an Olympic torch is? Uh-oh. Never mind. The Olympic torch will be in Batavia this weekend. helpful this is all like do you know what an olympic torch is oh never mind the olympic torch

will be in batavia this weekend wait what the shit is this athlete safety fears over beijing's fake snow for olympic ski contest oh my god what fake I mean, I guess they have to put down fake snow, right? I guess so. Let's see. It's icier surface is more treacherous for takeoffs and landings. That sounds bad. Let's see. 49 million gallons of water and 300 snow guns are creating a blanket of white for skiing, luge, bobsleigh, and skeleton events. What the shit?

Oh, this is wild. Okay. So, I'm so glad you brought this up. This is fascinating. I'm so glad you brought this up. This is fascinating. Basically, people are freaking out because, one, like you just mentioned, the artificial snow has just some really bad problems with it. But more importantly, Beijing is notoriously low on water.

And they've had an over-reliance on groundwater, and the ice glaciers have melted, and essentially, it says here that China's glaciers have melted by 82%, and one-fifth of the ice cover has been lost since the 1950s. They have a water shortage That is expected to be At critical levels for all of China By the end of the decade And Basically now they're pumping in Tons and tons of water from that limited

Supply in order to make fake snow And people are like what are you doing We have to live Jesus So they're literally just wasting water So that they can create snow for the Olympics That's what it looks like Oh my god

That is That's not very good What's crazy is they say Their response was actually The water that we're using Only 2% is local water from Beijing Which means They're bringing water from other

I don't even know how that technically seems like a waste of energy as well. Yeah. To pump 98% of the water from somewhere else? That seems like a tremendous waste of time. That does seem like a giant waste of time and resources.

Yeah. I guess they promised a green Olympics, and everyone's like, how? How is this possible? Well, hopefully nobody gets hurt on the slip-sliding ice snow or whatever it is. Oh, this is interesting that Beijing Winter Olympics is the first to rely on artificial snow. Is that a climate change thing, or is that just because every other place has had actual snow? I don't know. I feel like they wouldn't have had the Winter Olympics if they didn't have winter time with snow that's what i'm saying maybe it's just too warm there for it but they are saying that fake snow is also the thing that's on most american ski slopes right now

oh which probably gives us an advantage so take that world We're coming for you, baby. So, yeah, that's the sports. All right. What is our weird fact of the day? Our weird fact of the day. Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. Ella, Ella. Under my umbrella. So.

Ella. Let's see. Any good ones here ones here all right how about this one there is one letter q in any u.s state name the only letter in the alphabet to be missing wait j and z are represented once in new jersey and ari. So Q is the only letter not in a state. Well, I don't know. I've seen a few dudes spell Arkansas with a Q. Yeah, that kind of counts. I just don't like when you say it like that because it sounds like it's the start of a conspiracy.

It's like the only letter is not Q. We're going to get a message from a guy who's like, that's right, brother. Q's out there speaking the truth. Oh no, I don't like this at all. Let me throw another fact in there real quick then. Preserves are

like jam but made with more whole fruit. Marmalade is preserves made from citrus fruit. So preserves actually have more of the whole fruit in them. So preserves are better than jam. Yeah.

So marmalade is actually pretty good because it's got a lot of citrusy fruit in it. I love a good orange marmalade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Preserves are jam is just sugar, basically. Yeah. Yeah, it pretty much is. Yeah.

Well, I'm all right with that, then. Yeah. That's... There you go. There's your fact of the day. That's a good fact. That works. Okay, good.

Did you know there's no letter Q in jam? Why is that, Crandor? I don't know. I don't know why. Oh, boy. That sucks. All right. Let's get to that big news story of the day.

Big news story. So I've found three small news stories of the day. Honestly, they're all pretty solid. But they don't go into detail, which is their big problem. I am ready. So this one's funny because

this is... There we go. So, first one. The article is called quote, call my grandma, drunk Florida man taken by police from Tampa International Airport. A man preparing to board a Spirit Airlines flight. Yep, Spirit Airlines. Call my grandma.

On Wednesday, took a trip with police after a drunken tirade in Terminal A at Tampa International Airport. Call my grandma. Tell her I'm not coming, the man said. I'm so effing angry. He pulled the tell my grandma I'm not coming? Amazing. I'm so effing angry. Carry me, the man said to police.

I'm so effed up. In the video, you can hear the man say to the spirit employee, you already owe me $262.18 because you charged me twice because you're a piece of shit. The man was escorted from Terminal A in a wheelchair.

Well, they did carry him in a way. They wheeled him, which is like a carry. That's true. Yeah, kind of. So, yeah, that's the story. That's all we got. You know what?

That's all we need. Let's be real. That's true. I think it was just a crazy joke, man. That's all we needed from that story. Yeah. Next up, we have Florida Man steals $33,000 in rare coins, uses them in change machines.

A Florida man stole more than $30,000 in rare coins and cashed them in for a fraction of their value at change machines at area grocery stores. That says so much. It doesn't say anything about the man and everything about the fact that he was like, I don't even... I just need to live. I just want money. Palm Beach's Sheriff's Office investigators said Shane Anthony Mellie stole the rare presidential coins valued $1,000 each and other items worth a total of $350,000.

Investigators said he sold some of the coins to a pawn shop for $4,000 then exchanged the majority of them through Coinstar at the grocery stores, which would only give face value for them a fraction of their worth. He was arrested and charged with grand theft and unrelated drug charges. I mean, that sucks for whoever those coins were, because I don't know how you get those back

oh yeah you'd have to like go through the coin star machines yeah they're gone they're just like who put these rare presidential coins in the coin star machine I mean I guess you're right they do all have cameras right yeah and then the grand finale a guy on

drugs tried to claim his bag of syringes was, quote, for fishing. Well, you know, it's hard out there on the open seas. Cops in Vero Beach, Florida got a call Saturday afternoon about a 30-year-old named Eric Bennett who was, quote, visibly

intoxicated on an unknown substance. Yeah, he was. While they were talking to him, they noticed his pockets were filled with something because they were bulging out. He just put drugs in his pockets? Probably just had drugs in his pockets.

So they asked if he had any weapons on him and he responded by telling them he had a bag full of syringes, but he claimed they weren't for drugs. They were for fishing. He said he used them for fishing but didn't elaborate, and he didn't have any other fishing equipment on him. He did have cigarettes with a bag of fentanyl inside, though.

I don't see the point in catching these fish. You give them the fentanyl, they pass out, and then you syringe them. Wait, hold on. Is that what he said? No, that's what I said. Oh, I was about to say, like, is that from the article? Because that is a pretty solid, like, look, officer, what I do is I crumble them up, you know, like goldfish. And I sprinkle them on the top of the water, and the fish come up, and they eat them.

And then when they're laying there, I scoop them up. And to make sure they don't flop around my boat, I stick them with a syringe. You don't want to count that they're very high. So who knows what's going on in their little fish heads. He's been arrested for Grand theft, drunk driving Driving without a license and possession of Drug paraphernalia in the past He's due in court next month

You know what at least he's Sticking with it that's good Yeah at least you know Sticking with what he believes in Yeah what he knows he's doing what he knows That's really you know At the end of the day that's what's really you know at the end of the day that's what we all do yeah at the end of the day that's it yeah well at the end of this podcast

anyway that's it thanks so much we'll see y'all next time crendor hit him with the socials we've got socials youtube.com slash coxandcrendorpodcast. Find all the episodes for this podcast on youtube at youtube.com slash coxandcrendorpodcast. Also, cut off the podcast part. You'll go to youtube.com slash coxandcrendor. You'll find all the funny animations. And then go to our other stuff. We're on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud.

Just go wherever. Type in coxandcrendor. We're on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud. Just go wherever. Type in Cox and Crandor. We'll probably be there. Find our other stuff. We got YouTube.com, Jessica Cox. YouTube.com, Crandor. Twitch.tv, Jessica Cox. Twitch.tv, that's Crandor.

Twitter.com, Jessica Cox. Twitter.com, that's Crandor. Facebook, Jessica Cox. Facebook, Crandor. Patreon, Jessica Cox. Patreon, Crandor. And YouTube.com, Warhammer, Crandor. If you like me talking about 40k and normal

Sigmar, mainly Sigmar but I figured I'd bring it up because we talk about Warhammer and some other stuff, whatever okay that is it for us we'll see y'all next time and as always

to be continued.