Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 327 - Will The Real Benny Please Stand Up?
Episode Date: February 28, 2022The boys are back and this time they've got a follow up to last weeks story on Hank the Tank! Also Crendor regales Jesse with the story of how he met Benny the Bull, but Jesse is unimpressed. Speakin...g of unimpressive, Jesse's time on Hinge takes a turn for the pathetic. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://calm.com/cox to get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription! Go to http://dailyharvest.com/cox to get up to $40 off your first box!
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Today's episode is brought to you by Calm.
Calm is out there trying to get you to relax, my babies.
Also, today we're brought to you by Daily Harvest.
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All right, now let's jump into this podcast.
Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trending.
This is Trending in the morning.
In the morning.
Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.
In four-hour recording studios.
Recording.
Wake your ass up. It's up next.
Trending in the morning!
Yeah.
Whoa.
What?
I don't know.
Sometimes you just don't want to be like, whoa!
Sometimes you just gotta be like that.
It wasn't very welcoming. You were like, eh, get out of here. I don't want to be like, whoa. Sometimes you just got to be like that. It wasn't very welcoming.
You were like, eh, get out of here.
I don't want you here.
Get out of here.
We welcomed everyone to the show, and you were like, eh.
Get out of here.
Get out of here, damn kids.
All right, fine.
Jeez.
Well, okay, come back in.
Come back in.
Oh, okay.
All right.
What's going on?
Do I have updates for you?
Alright, very good So, in case you haven't ever listened to this podcast before
It's basically Crendor slowly falling apart and me failing at every relationship I've ever had
It's roughly the general gist of the podcast
Well, let me tell you about relationship failures, because
holy crap.
Okay.
So, as I mentioned last
time on the podcast,
I was out
with some friends. They made me get a
Hinge, which is a dating app.
They made me make a Hinge profile,
and I was explaining to
Quendor last episode that, hey, most of the things on there seem to be scams or bots or whatever.
Well, so a woman named Sophie, again, I haven't approached anyone.
I haven't, like, I just keep waiting for someone to message me, and then I'm like, all right, maybe, you know?
So this woman named Sophie, who I was like, oh, well, she seems like a cutie pie.
So I went in and was like, all right, she matched with me.
I guess I'll like talk to her.
And everything seemed fine for like a day.
We were just having a conversation and it wasn't, you know, one of my inherent problems is that I don't have a lot of free time.
So it wasn't like sitting there like, oh, we're having big conversations.
It was just, you know, throughout the day, back and forth.
Anyway, seemed like a normal human being, like a totally fine, totally normal person.
We're just talking about, you know, all the small talk that people talk about when they're trying to get to know each other, that kind of stuff.
Right.
Well, at a certain point, Sophie says to me, Jesse, I really like talking to you, but I don't really
get any of the notifications on Hinge, so do you mind if we take this to text, to just
normal texting?
I said, okay, sure.
Sounds great.
Mind you, there's no incentive for me to care.
I'm not like, she's the one.
I just like, I like communicating with people. And I like the idea that somewhere out there, maybe there's a woman who wants to communicate with me.
I'm like, let me see your wiener level.
And so I was like, okay.
So I, you know, get on the old text messenger.
We start talking.
And she seems like a totally normal person.
There's nothing like too weird about her.
She recently moved
back to LA because her mom was
sick and so she's
living pretty close to me. I'm like
well this is fantastic. This could be
a human. She has
she keeps like sending me photos and stuff and
because I'm not a crazy person
but definitely am. I
Google searched every single photo
to make sure it wasn't a bot and I was like oh no this is a real person. I Google searched every single photo to make sure it wasn't a bot.
And I was like, oh, no, this is a real person.
I was like, okay, interesting.
But with all that said, there would be moments where every conversation we'd have,
there'd be like something about it that seemed off.
Like something that didn't seem right.
And then, I don't't know maybe like two days in
she brings up cryptocurrency i'm like okay what she's like oh yeah well i do a lot of my work in
crypto i'm like i'm sorry what i was like i thought you had a job she's like oh i do but
do a lot of crypto work i'm like what does what does that mean? What does crypto work mean?
So she tries to explain to me what she does.
And I'm like, I don't, I mean, so do you buy and sell crypto?
Like, what do you do with it?
She's like, oh, I just work in crypto.
I'm like, what does that mean?
What do you, like, she wouldn't explain it to me.
And I was like, something's weird here. And I noticed that the more I pushed her on subjects that she wouldn't elaborate on, the more she, like, the normal, you know how, like, normal people text?
And it's understandable?
The more I pushed, the more her text became kind of erratic in a way that was like, this doesn't seem like a native English speaker.
Yeah, right.
I was like, huh, interesting.
Okay.
So another day goes by.
And again, because I am, and I think we've talked about this before,
I don't really like do online relationships because I like my job.
I have all this stuff I have to do.
Like I can't constantly just be looking at my phone and texting people so here i am busting my ass at work and
a few days goes by and she uh let me just i just want to verbatim read this i saved this all right
for you uh this was this last tuesday this is the last time I talked to this person, by the way. So I started pushing for more, like, meaningful conversation.
And so Monday night, she was talking about, you know, what she's looking for in a partner and all these different things.
And I asked, well, do you consider yourself a romantic person?
Right.
This is the Jesse Cox path of like, ask about romance,
slowly lead to like,
what kind of nasty,
freaky shit you up to, girl?
You know what I'm saying?
Right.
So anyway, I started with,
are you a romantic person?
And she responded,
it's getting late.
I'm off to wash up.
You know,
women can be a hassle
before going to bed, LOL.
Good night, sweet dreams.
Hope you have better communication
tomorrow i was like what i was like wait what like i don't know where that happened i was like what
so the next day comes around and she writes at 7 34 a.m good morning hope you have a nice day
i'll talk to you when you get off of work i'm like yeah i hope you have a good day too
I'll talk to you when you get off of work I'm like yeah I hope you have a good day too
That's it
Again suddenly reverted back to a normal human being
Then
At 2.04
Alright whoa I just got done
Filming something really cool
That was a lot of work I'm so worn out
And uh
She responded
Being busy is a good thing
It makes your life fulfilling, doesn't it?
And again, a little strange.
And I responded a few hours later, like, you're absolutely right.
I love what I do.
I've been just busting my butt here at work all day.
She responds, and this is how I knew something was up.
The best work state is doing what you love every day, LOL.
And I responded, oh, absolutely.
Mind you, didn't think about it.
I was focusing on work, not even on the text.
I was like, oh, absolutely.
That's why I enjoy my work so much.
And like went back to work, right?
Right.
Two hours later, this is the message I get.
I feel that it's always difficult for us to have free time at the same time to talk.
It is also a tacit understanding, LOL.
What?
So I respond immediately, I mean,
I'm always available to chat, but
I'm much better at communicating in person.
I'm not sure I understand what you mean.
And then she responded
immediately, oh,
okay, I see. This is a
conflicting question.
I responded, how so?
And this is how I know i broke this person because whatever bot
whatever scam this is gonna be they were done they were done with me this is what they wrote
because our communication has not reached the level of understanding each other so i don't
think if we continue like this i will not choose to meet you in short time.
And I was like, wait, what just happened?
I was laughing to myself because I was like, I think
this scammer
literally just told me
that I don't have enough time
for the scammer. I'm not
putting enough work into this relationship with a
scammer. And they were like, you know what?
I can't do this anymore, which is so messed up because that is how 80 of my relationships end where
they're just like you know what you don't put enough time into this relationship the scammer
said that so i responded okay well i hope you find what you're looking for and then just left
the conversation so i just sort of put it out there i think i was being long conned into a scam about
crypt i'm sure at some point they would have been like oh i got this crypto deal and if you want to
get in on this i'm like i'm sure there would have been a thing but for some reason they were just
like you aren't into it like it doesn't seem like you care enough about us i can't believe that happened i laughed i laughed so hard that uh yeah so i got dumped
by a scammer so that happened to me i'm sure that i might be the first person that's ever happened
well i was gonna say uh i googled that dating app and apparently four days ago or seven days ago a woman on dating app hinge
loses 390 000 in crypto scam i bet that's exactly i bet that's exactly what they were trying to do
that's so funny the best part is is up until that day they had at least maintained some sort of appearance of being uh
someone who lived in la like a native english speaker someone who sort of like knew lingo and
so and then at the end this this this last text i think i broke them i think they didn't have time
to like google translate or something because this is crazy like just let me read this again
this is crazy because our communication has read this again. This is crazy.
Because our communication has not reached the level of understanding each other,
comma, so I don't think if we continue like this, comma,
I will not choose to meet you in a short time.
I think I broke them.
I can't.
I was like, I think we should meet or something.
And they're like, no, I cannot do that.
I was like, okay, bye.
Bye.
or something and they're like no i cannot do that i was like okay bye but then and he like then that's the that's the biggest problem i have with just dating
apps and all this stuff in general like i uh since since that tuesday every day i wake up
to another person who's matched with me right all? And so I'm currently looking on people that are matched with me that I started a conversation
with, and I have six
people here.
And of the six,
four messaged me
and were like, oh, it's like,
they'll ask me a question or whatever
and seem super interested. I messaged
them back, no response. None.
Why message me then?
What's the point? And my assumption is they messaged them back no response none why message me then what's the point and and my assumption
is they messaged like 80 people and i was like the fifth best choice of the ones they had or
some bullshit so i was like cool all right thanks for that that's dumb it's just i'm not i'm not
enjoying it but i will say regaling people with the stories is lovely it's a real Joy let me tell you
It does make for good stories you are right
I can't like I just
I've always hated when people
Like if you send someone a message and it
Says red and they just don't respond
And I understand there's a million
Reasons I get like sometimes
I have massive ADD and just
Like see it and like oh I'll get back to that leave
And then three days later I'm like oh shit.
Oh I forgot to respond. Like I get it.
But
I just
I don't know man.
This is why I. What if I was a bachelor
forever and I never dealt with anything
ever again. What if I only worried about
myself instead of other people.
Because all I do anymore
is worry about other people. I try to schedule things around other people because all i do anymore is worry about other people i try to
schedule things around other people try to plan around other people other people's my entire life
what if i just like became a hermit and didn't talk to anyone and just like if you want to talk
to me i'll be in league of legends well the problem is you say that but then after time
it just that's just who you are.
It's like ingrained in you, and you just go back to it.
Yeah, but what if I could not go that way?
What if I was just like...
A great example is I want to be my own sort of guy.
Like yesterday, I was driving down the road, and there's kind of like a bike path near my apartment,
and it kind of weaves through all of the Venice Beach area.
All right.
And there's this guy I saw coming off the bike path on rollerblades, and that's pretty much it.
He had like a thong on and no other clothes, and he was like rollerblading down the street,
and he was like full dad bod.
And I think he might have been like 60.
And he was just like doing his thing.
And I said to myself, well, before I almost wrecked
because I like caught him out of the corner of my eye
and I thought he was naked.
For a brief moment, I thought, I was like, what?
But no, he wasn't.
He just had like a little tiny baby thong on.
And he was just like going down the street. And I thought for a minute, he wasn't. He just had like a little tiny baby thong on. And he was just like going down the street.
And I thought for a minute, that's insane.
And then I realized, you know what?
No, that guy's living his best life.
That guy has it figured out.
And I want to be like that.
I want to be like, I don't care about anything anymore.
I'm going to put on my thong and I don't give a damn.
I'm going to put on my rollerblades and I'm just going to like scoot my butt around town
and no one can tell me nothing.
That's what I want.
It's the best version of this.
All this dating apps, all this stuff. The best
version of this is me not giving
a damn anymore. It's been like, yeah,
whatever. Let me put on my rollerblades
and my thong. I'm out.
I can picture that
as like your final arc.
I would be,
you know what?
My arcs are very easy.
I know exactly
what it's going to be.
Step one,
I buy a skeleton hand gloves
and I'm like that guy
from Storage Wars.
And then after that,
once I've made my millions
on storage materials, then I i'm like you know what
i don't got many years left i'm gonna get real naked and skate around but i'm still gonna wear
my skeleton gloves yeah i got it i'll get it all figured out well at least you got it figured out
now so that's good yeah i don't want anyone holding me back i'm good what uh what
other crazy stories you guys so you got a bunch of them yeah uh man so i uh went to god it was like
i don't know 8 a.m and i thought to myself i want mcdonald's breakfast so i went to this McDonald's drive-thru. And just in the drive-thru, a guy walks up to my window and goes,
Yo, dude, can you order me a number two?
And I looked at him like, what?
He's like, yeah, yeah, just give me a number two.
So now I have the pressure of this man standing there looking at me
as the woman's like, all right, can I get you?
I was like, do you think this is going to work?
And if I don't get him a number two, what's this dude going to do?
You know what I mean?
Like this guy had crazy eyes and I was like, what is this guy going to do?
So he walked up to me and I was like, all I wanted was a damn bacon, egg and cheese.
And now I got to deal with this.
And he's, the guy's looking at me like, yo, order that number, order that number two,
dude.
Order that number two.
And I'm just like, ah, can a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit?
But instead of the folded egg, the round egg?
And like a small coffee?
And the guy's like staring at me waiting.
And I'm like, and that's it.
I roll up my window and drive by.
I was like, I ain't kidding.
No, no.
I was like, I don't know this dude.
And then another car pulled up and he turned to that car.
Like, what are you supposed to do?
I feel like the McDonald's should have, like, I don't know, don't stand in the drive-thru lane and ask people to buy you food.
But no one here cares.
No one. They're like,
the guy, he lives out there, so
you know, you gotta pay the
troll toll.
So I mean,
just living in LA, for some reason,
this past week was eventful.
That's for sure.
So for a long time,
our office complex, like I've said before, it's sort of a live-work place.
So some people live here, and most people, it's an office.
And there's this old couple that lives here.
And this woman who I always see walk her dog, she's, you know, your average older woman.
But every time I see her, she always gives me, like, death glares.
For some reason, I'm
convinced she hates me. Don't know
why. Don't know what I could have possibly done.
Anyway,
the other day, she's clearly locked
out. I can see her frustrated.
She's locked out. So I let her in. She
literally looks at me in the eyes and goes,
you know what? My husband was wrong
about you. You're a good guy. I was like,
wait, what? What does your husband think?. You're a good guy. I was like, wait, what?
What does your husband think?
I don't even know that man.
Oh.
You know, just L.A. stuff.
Just fun L.A. stuff.
Well.
So what have you been doing uh well let's see i uh we went to the bulls game yesterday
that was fun uh why how well uh toaster woman i'd usually watch basketball and then she would
just be there like watching then she actually got really into basketball from watching me watch basketball and so i was like we should go to a game so then uh
for valentine's day i got her like basketball tickets so we went yesterday and it was great
we uh we went there we got seats know, I hope we get seats.
We were on the court.
We had to stand there.
We're on the court.
But the best part was we were sitting in front of, like, these kind of annoying guys, but they were funny.
They're, like, you know, probably, like, in their early to mid-20s.
They're just like, bro, you on the sports app, bro?
And he's like, yeah, bro, I'm like betting to Rosen to get 35.
He's done it.
He's going to do it again.
Like, no doubt.
He's like, yeah, bro, but like I haven't watched the Bulls yet this year,
but like I'm ready, bro.
Where were you at the game?
Like give me a, were you center court?
Were you high up?
What was going on?
Like when you were with these bros, where were you at?
Because these bros seem like close to the court bros.
Yes.
Well, we were, like, behind the basket.
But, like, maybe, like, 15 rows back.
You're trying to be like, Abel.
Yeah, we were, like, kind of a little backed by where the people,
when they shoot free throws, are going like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, you know, they're pretty good seats.
You're like close enough, but like sometimes it's a little annoying
when they're like on the other side of the court,
and you're like, I think I can see it.
And they're like, the one basket's kind of blocking it,
but it's like, yeah, whatever.
Because when they're close up, it's pretty neat to see them so uh there's also this woman sitting next to us that kept apologizing
whenever she'd have to move through she'd be like sorry guys i'm coming through can i ask you a
question yeah was she overweight a A little bit, yes.
As a fat dude, let me tell you, that is our life.
We're always apologizing for moving.
That is a thing.
Every time I hear a story where someone's like, sorry, coming through,
it's always a fat dude or woman who are just like, look, I get it.
You might rub up against me.
Like, calm down.
We have to, like, prep everyone.
Like, hey, it's all right.
We're coming through.
We always feel like we're in the way all the time.
All the time.
It is a constant feeling.
Just like, I'm sorry for existing.
Hold on.
Yeah.
All the time.
Yeah.
But the best part was, like, I get it, you know?
It's like, they're being polite about it, so it's like, you know, it's cool.
The best part was Benny the Bull, right?
The mascot.
He was, like, in our section.
So apparently every game, he does this crazy popcorn thing where he like throws popcorn
all over benny came to our section with his big ass bag of popcorn all right i got a picture of it
all right here we go first off you don't sound thrilled about benny the bull coming
this idiot came to our section big old thing of popcorn no i like benny the bull
can i tell oh my. Can I tell you? Oh, my God.
Can I tell you something?
So, first off, the photo that Crandor sent me was sent.
It's on my Instagram, by the way.
It's on his Instagram.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, I saw this earlier on Instagram.
And I'll be honest.
I scrolled through it because I thought it was just a big foam
Like
I don't know like a big foam
I didn't think it was a person
All I'm saying is Benny the Bull has a flat ass
He looks like a noodle
Like one of those giant foam noodles
I thought he was one of those like dancing wind man
I couldn't tell what it was
So I just scrolled through
Now looking at it it makes perfect sense I can see that through. Now looking at it, it makes perfect sense.
I can see that it's a bull, but it doesn't look like a good bull.
Benny the Bull kind of sucks.
I don't know.
He's a good guy.
Look at him.
Look at this guy.
Go to Crendor's Instagram.
Benny the Bull kind of sucks.
Mascots are supposed to be big and fluffy and squishable.
This guy sucks.
This guy sucks. Well, they have various Benny the Bullsable and like this guy sucks this guy sucks well they have various
benny the bulls well this benny sucks there's also uh hold on let's see if i can find the right
one he's like a really big blow up benny the bull now that's the guy now that bull i like all right here he is uh oh wait no this was
okay this was pretty good so like during one of the timeouts they did that where all these like
blow up many of the bulls go racing let me tell let me tell you something there are four people
featured in this there's giant blow up bullup bull, fat blow-up bull,
like official corporate CEO bull,
and then a, I assume, cheerleader.
All four better than that Benny the Bull you took a photo with.
All four way more entertaining looking.
The guy you took a photo with sucks.
Sucks.
All right. he doesn't look
just go look at his Instagram if you
were scrolling through it looks like
Crenor is taking a photo with a giant
like furry noodle it doesn't look like a
bull at all period
I can't I can't find the other there's like a even bigger version where he like
gyrates around now that is what i'm here for uh i can't find a picture of him but he's he's big
gyrator uh but anyway back to the main point all right so big gyrator big gyrator so here's what happens
okay this is not from our game this is just from like many games so he like throws his popcorn all
over you see it i mean i'm looking i see he has like a bag of popcorn and he flings it around yeah i get the goof uh okay good well okay we're on the same page so he comes to
our section this girl with like a camera crew comes over too and she's like all right guys
okay masks on don't you better put your mask on if you don't have it on cover your drinks because
benny is going to go crazy with popcorn all All right. And yeah, I love it.
They have to have someone come in to let people know what's up.
Yeah, like we've had complaints in the past.
Benny has ruined several drinks.
So cover your drinks.
So we think he's going to go crazy with it.
But then there's a the Grizzlies fans're playing the grizzlies like three grizzly
dudes in front of benny and then he ended up just dumping it all on them because they're like the
opposing team i mean it still has to be that's a better goof i like that he's like oh no i think
that's pretty good so like we're all like oh man like they did the benny thing over here we're
gonna be on tv they didn't even show it on tv they didn't even show it it must have not been
good enough or something else was happening
because they've shown it on TV before.
It never is.
They've shown it on TV before, but this time there's like,
I did get to see John Morant even though they lost.
So, like, yeah, go John Morant.
It's just, I don't know, basketball's fun.
All in all, based on that night versus other sporting events,
how would you rate your return to the Bulls?
Let's see.
I've been to three other Bulls games.
I would say that's probably the best one.
Last one was pretty good because I had to see Derrick Rose
before he turned into Glassbones Greg.
But this one was good too just cause
it's an entertaining game. Even though
they lost, I do like the Grizzlies. I like
John Morant. So
there's Steven Adams who literally
just looks like if me and Sam
were like a giant caveman.
And it was like, he literally
took the ball and like chucked it across
the court like it was nothing. Like here, this guy this he's like seven foot tall can i tell you something yes i
love this man who clearly looks like basketball jason momoa is who you were like you know sam
and i if we ever became basketball players you're jason
i love that you see yourself as basketball jason momoa if we became like super uh aqua cavemen
right right right if you grew up in atlantis you mean yeah yeah and we were seven foot tall
and extremely athletic yeah well of course yeah um it's really just like
the the hair and the beard i think most of all because we each have like similar
hair beard things going although sam apparently shaved his beard
well he made a mistake is what happened there. Yeah. So, yeah.
I mean, overall, fun time.
And then, you know, the worst part is just, like, dealing with the parking lot.
Yeah, I was about to say, the worst part is the end when you have to, like, leave.
Yeah.
So, it was, you know, I'm trying to think if anything crazy happened.
I don't think anything crazy really happened.
Most people were cool.
I mean, to get in, we had in, I thought it would take a while
because we had to show our vaccine cards,
but it went pretty quickly.
So, I don't know.
It was fine.
I think that's good.
I mean, it's nice to...
I guess most of the country
is like F it at this point.
I think what's more about COVID
is now everyone's like,
I don't care anymore, which is messed up, but here we are.
If you've gotten vaccinated or if you haven't,
you're probably not one way or the other.
You're either getting it or you're not.
Like, we're a year and a half in.
But, you know, I was like, you know what?
Cases are down.
We're vaccinated. It's like a vaccinated place. I was like, I'm fine? Cases are down. We're vaccinated.
It's like a vaccinated place.
I was like, I'm fine going to the Bulls game.
I don't know if I would have went in December.
Yeah.
No, I definitely would have done that.
But as we get more towards summer stuff,
I think more things will open up and more stuff will go back to the way it
kind of was last summer.
Yeah.
Which is good.
I have a feeling that we're gonna have this sort of winter
covid thing for a few more years but summer should be normal fingers crossed yeah i think so i hope
so i already i already like i'm planning to do stuff in the summer so it better be normal i'm
like i want to go places and do things yeah um so did i do anything other oh yeah the other thing this is such a like old person story
physical therapy there you go i was talking to my physical therapist and she's just like
yeah i was telling one of the other physical therapists here like oh yeah you do youtube and
video stuff it's crazy and i was like like, yeah, it's definitely unconventional.
And the dude
behind us, there's like physical
therapy, like beds, kind of like massage
bed, chiropractor,
whatever you want to call it, things where you like lay
down, you put your head in the thing,
right?
They like, somebody was in the one behind
us and they like curtain it off so you can't
see them if they've got like, you know, they're being worked on or they got like heating packs on or whatever.
And the dude behind it goes, hey, you're a YouTuber.
And I was like, so I can't even see the dude.
And I'm like, yeah.
And he's like, are you Crandor?
Oh, and I was like, yeah.
He's like, shit, dude.
That's awesome.
Shit, dude. and i was like yeah he's like shit dude that's awesome shit dude he's like i've been following your stuff for a while like uh
he's like i haven't watched much lately or something like that but he's like how come
that is every person we talk to dude huge fan don't really watch anything you do but
love you man listen i take what i can get i don't care i hear you yeah so i was just like
yeah thanks and he was like i knew it was you from your laugh that's how i knew i was like oh
that's cool so i mean that was pretty neat i was like i recognize the physical therapy
of all places that's how you know you're really getting up there in the youtube age demographic yeah yep
when you and your fans are getting physical therapy yeah um and then you know i did some
they put me on this crazy like neck stretcher machine that was wild can you
just what do you mean neck stretcher machine so it doesn't like yank your neck or like
it's not like the chiropractors were like give them the ring dinger uh it literally like you
put your head in this neck thing and it kind of gently pulls it forward a bit so it's like helping
to just stretch your neck muscles out essentially like it felt pretty good actually and they just
put me in it for like 10 minutes or something but like what is it what is the machine oh it just pulls your neck forward
okay all right i'm not gonna question it just i don't know the idea of a neck stretching machine
seems wild to me uh hold on i'm used to the guy that you keep showing me videos of like
wraps a towel around their neck and like gives them an orgasm or whatever the hell happens
in those videos. He
chokes them out and they're like,
thank you.
It literally do that
and it kind of pulls your neck
gently upward. So it's kind of just
stretching it. I guess. That thing
looks like a torture device. Well, that's what
I thought at first. I was like, and they're like,
nah, don't worry. You'll be fine.
And it was.
I was like, oh, this is actually kind of nice.
I'd do it again.
All right.
You have not sold me on it.
If they ever tell you, I want to put you in the next stretcher.
All right.
Don't be afraid.
Unless you're like did a chiropractor.
I don't know.
I have a feeling when you say neck stretcher, it always reminds me of hanging.
I keep thinking about like old Westerns,, put him in the neck stretcher.
Like, no, I'm all right.
No, thanks.
I guess the difference is when someone says they're going to put you in the neck stretcher, are you in prison?
Yes or no?
I feel like that's the difference.
That was pretty much my week all right well
you know what won't be pulling your neck
oh that is bad that is bad jesse but will relieve your stress hey we saved it
But will relieve your stress.
Hey, we saved it.
Calm.
It's time for you to take a little survey of your thoughts.
What are you holding on to?
Just take five seconds.
Just think about it.
What are you holding on to?
What's weighing on your shoulders?
I'll give you five.
All right.
Got it figured out?
Do you understand what's weighing you down in life?
Yes.
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Daily meditations, those things are great.
That's like a great way to start your day.
You're just like, all right.
So today we're going to, I'm like, take me away, lady.
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Alright, Crandor, let's go
talk to some of these guys. Crandor, how's the traffic out there?
Oh boy.
Traffic is...
It's traffic.
You know, I'm going to use this opportunity to talk about just what the sky is like, you know?
I mean, when you're up in the sky, it's just...
You think it's just this like happy blue cloud
filled thing, but you know, it's just, you're just up here, man.
It's air.
It's, it's weather.
You know, there's the weathers and the clouds.
When you think about it, I'm not high.
I swear.
Back to you.
What are clouds, man?
Are you done?
Are we still in the helicopter?
What's going on?
No, I'm done.
All right.
Can I just say to you, one of the things I think, I don't know if we talked about this
on the podcast.
Maybe.
I remember there was an article I read where they were talking about colors.
And this guy was going through the history of colors
and how in ancient history,
they always used these vivid, crazy colors, right?
Like when you think about the statues in ancient Greece, right?
We think of them as marble,
but back then they would paint them gaudy colors
because, you know, like color was something that,
the dyes meant that you were rich, right?
The more dye you had.
So they would paint them these crazy colors.
But throughout history, even in books and texts and all these different things,
this guy was doing this research paper about how they never say or use the word blue.
There is no translatable word for blue.
When they describe the ocean, they have 18 different ways to describe it,
and all of them revolve around green, or the sky, green. And at some point,
we just suddenly started calling stuff blue. It's as if the color blue didn't exist,
and then suddenly just did. And he has no idea why, and he's like, that's his research. He's
trying to figure out why. Like, when we as a species just said like, oh yeah, blue.
Or maybe our eyes couldn't see blue.
And then suddenly they, it's that kind of thing.
It's crazy.
That is crazy.
All I remember with the sky being blue is from Arthur.
Maybe.
Because I remember the brain in Arthur, that kid.
Maybe.
Because I remember the brain in Arthur, that kid.
He's like, the sky is blue because blue air particles reflect blue light or something.
I remember that as a kid.
And it's just always stuck with me. Yeah, this is so, so, so, I just looked this up because I'm very, so, I literally just typed in when did the color blue originate?
And scientists generally agree that humans began to see the color blue when they started making blue originate. And scientists generally agree
that humans began to see
the color blue
when they started making
blue pigments.
Cave paintings from 20,000 years ago
lack any blue color
since previously mentioned blue
is rarely present in nature.
And then they said
that eventually
people started to develop
blue colorants.
So, you know, I think that's fascinating that people in ancient times didn't –
yeah, there's a color order, right?
So there's – I'm trying to think of –
hopefully there's like a really cool website that tells you what the color order is.
But there is a distinct historical record of when we as a species
acknowledged certain colors, right? And so some colors clearly came before others, like
the colors involved with fire, yellows and reds, like we saw that. But, you know, they're talking
about how ancient civilizations had no word for the color blue.
It was the last color to appear in many languages, including Greek, Chinese, Japanese, and Hebrew. The Odyssey, Homer describes the sea as wine dark.
According to one linguist, every culture begins with the words dark and light.
The next color described is red, then yellow, then green, then finally blue.
Huh. Interesting. Is red then yellow then green Then finally blue Huh Interesting and yeah there's
Even saying that to this day
There's some tribes in different like
Isolated parts of the world that still have no
Word for the color blue
That's crazy
Yeah that's neat
Huh
Well that's the traffic
Alright Well, that's the traffic.
All right.
Let's go to sports.
Wait, weather.
Hold on.
I don't know.
It almost felt like we were doing our weird factoid.
Anyway, let's go to weather.
Weather time.
I'm all messed up. I'm all messed up.
I'm all messed up.
All right. We've got a weather suggestion for Mount Roraima in South America.
It is a type of flat-top mountain called a tepuis and acts as the tri-point border between Brazil, Guyana, and Venezuela.
What's crazy is I just typed in Mount R, and it's the first thing that popped up.
And this place definitely is where aliens are from.
Holy crap.
This is incredible looking.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, this is wild.
Dude, the shots with the cloud cover looks like something out of, I don't even know,
like a sci-fi movie.
That's so beautiful.
Wow.
All right then.
Okay.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Look at that.
I can't even, it's not even on the weather thing.
I'm going to have to go to, let's see here.
Accu weather.
I love how they're just waterfalls There are waterfalls on this thing
But the water is coming out of the side
How is that?
I don't even know how that's possible
It looks like a fantasy location
Like Game of Thrones
It does
Wow that's so neat
Interesting
There's also something called El Faso.
What is this?
I guess it's a well in the mountain.
It's called El Faso or The Pit, located in Mount Warrimack.
And I guess it's just like a little hole, like a place to dive in. That place, you couldn't pay me to dive in there.
That place, that's where
the monsters live suck you under you're done oh you're definitely done well i found the weather
thing for it i think i think this is correct but this is what we're going to use anyway
uh we've got current conditions nine degrees feels like, 0.2 millimeters of precipitation and 2 mile an hour winds.
Today, these might be Celsius.
We might have to settle for it.
Sometimes you have to. I get it.
9 degrees, an 8 degree low.
Monday, you got 14 degrees
with a 7 degree low, windy and cloudy.
Tuesday,
14 degrees with a
rain
most of the day.
And then every day after that is
rain with 14 degrees,
12 degrees.
Listen, I'm not used to
working on this website or with these
temperatures this is all new i got you uh and we're in we're on mountain so if you're on that
mountain watch out it's gonna rain i man i'm so impressed with this place. You know, sometimes I realize that, like, I miss traveling.
I'm just so upset.
I miss traveling.
There's so many awesome things I could see in this world.
That's one of them.
This place is incredible looking.
Yeah, this is crazy.
Here I am, some idiot stuck at home.
What an idiot.
So dumb. Talking the crypto bots.
You know what?
We had a thing going there for a few days until, like all my relationships, I didn't have time for it.
I'm sorry, crypto bot.
I just, it's fine.
Crypto bot loved you.
We had a future together.
Sorry, crypto bot. Sorry, Cryptobot.
So, that's the weather.
Okay.
Now, sports.
Sports.
All right.
Sports desk.
We've got NBA basketball.
Currently in the standings.
Got the Heat at the top, followed by the Bulls, 76ers, Cavaliers,
Bucks, Celtics, Raptors, and
Nets. In the West,
you've got the Suns, Warriors, Grizzlies,
Jazz, followed by the Mavericks, Nuggets,
Timberwolves, and Clippers.
Over in
the NHL,
you've got the
Panthers, Lightning at the top.
You've got the Hurricanes at the top. You've got the Avalanche at the top. You got the Hurricanes at the top.
You got the Avalanche at the top.
And you got the Calgary
Flames at the top.
At the top.
And
baseball is supposed to be starting now
but it's not because they can't
reach an agreement
between the owners and the players association.
So we're in a lockout.
And it's not looking great.
Yeah, that checks out.
And sports.
Okay.
What is our fact?
Do we have a fact?
Do we need another fact?
We have a fact, yes.
Uh-oh.
Here it is.
This fact is crazy.
Here we go. Most people
break up on Mondays.
Searching through public Facebook data,
Lee Byron and David McCandless
found their relationship status has changed
for the worst two weeks before
Christmas, around Easter,
and on Mondays.
Though this data may be somewhat misleading,
as people might not be live updating their breakups,
it shows an obvious trend.
I mean, look, I also know, just based on my life,
that every single breakup I've had, every single one,
has been sometime in the either week before or week after Valentine's.
Every time.
Every time.
And I feel like it's either I'm like, I got to get this over with.
I don't want to have to do a Valentine's thing.
Or there's like, oh, I guess I'll just hang out with Jesse for Valentine's Day
and then I'll break up with him.
Like that kind of thing. Oh, for sure. Yeah, I guess I'll just hang out with Jesse for Valentine's Day and then I'll break up with him. Like that kind of thing.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, I've definitely, for some reason, which why Valentine's is like dead to me.
Like everything about Valentine's, whatever romance was involved has been ruined.
I just don't have it in me.
I'm like, all right, whatever.
Happy Valentine's, I guess.
Yeah.
That's your fact of the day they broke me
all right what is our big news story of the day so the big news story of the day that literally
everyone's been tweeting us dna evidence reveals hank the tank isn't one bear, but several.
Yes!
Now, some people might say, oh, so it was just three bears. I have taken this as Hank has learned how to branch off into various different animals.
He got that Naruto Hokage.
She's making multiples of himself.
He's like, ah, shit, they're on to me i can't start
breaking up or or this could be kind of you know like spartacus or it's like i am other bears have
been like i am hank the tank yeah i am hank now they're all working together hell yes yeah they
were gonna kill him and now every bear like, you have to kill me too.
In this version of the story, we thought we understood Hank the Tank was a hungry, hungry trespasser,
unbothered by human concerns such as doors and manners.
Still, that is mostly correct. But in an unexpected twist, since the black bear story attracted international media attention this week,
California Department of Fish and Wildlife thursday said the bear had not
acted alone oh according to the agency dna evidence collected over the past several months
showed at least three bears were involved in the break-ins that had been reported in the lake tahoe
area until the update all the incidents had been pinned on hank whose portly frame and prod prodigious
appetite were looked on across the world as some mix of admirable
and relatable and to those whose homes were invaded perhaps a little terrifying meanwhile
my boy over there literally just trying to live his life it's just trying to live like excuse me
sorry i know i'm in the way i just i was hoping to get some breakfast today that's rude that's rude
like kill him how dare you he doesn no he's doing his mind he's
just like time to give food this place got food i hate your bear time to get food this place has
food that's probably what happens yeah um i'm gonna get food.
As it turns out, humans are not great at telling bears apart.
Yeah.
Identifying bears simply by their visible physical characteristics can lead to misidentifying bears and therefore confusing management efforts.
And good news for Hank, authorities said he would most likely avoid being euthanized, which had been considered a possibility since he had apparently lost his fear of humans.
With multiple bears involved, the department said it would work in the coming weeks and months to trap, tag, and study them, and then release them back into more suitable habitats.
The department is not going to euthanize any bears that are trapped during this effort, it said.
Thus far, those who have encountered the bears have said they've been perfectly fine house guests aside from the food theft and occasional trail of destruction.
You know, aside from all that.
Yeah, there's some humans that will probably do that.
Food theft and trails of destruction.
I mean, that dude tried to get me to buy my number two.
He was like, buy me a number two.
If it was a bear, here's the thing, if it was a bear, I would have done it.
Yeah.
Oh my God, that bear spoke to me.
Yes, you get one.
He just sits there and eats, Ann Bryant, executive director of Bear League said.
Oh, God, that's my problem.
This bear and I have more in common than I'd like to admit.
He doesn't attack them.
He doesn't growl. He doesn't growl.
He doesn't make rude faces.
People in the area, a natural habitat for bears,
have long coexisted with the large furry animals.
Residents have learned not to leave food out
and to seal their trash in bear-proof containers.
But residents of Tahoe Keys,
a gated community about 190 miles northeast of San Francisco,
have called police on the bears about 100 times since July.
It's not clear how the bears obtained a taste for human food.
Department officials and local police have tried to haze the bears with paintballs, beanbags, sirens, and tasers,
but to little avail.
Oh, my God.
Jesus.
Leave those bears alone.
They're just trying to get some.
If anything, they should leave them picnic baskets out,
and then they'll take them, and then they'll be fine.
Exactly.
This is why they're doing it all wrong.
Haven't they watched Yogi?
It's easy.
Picnic basket.
Go take it.
And the ranger would try and stop them, but Yogi would win every time.
So all I'm saying is just let the bear have the food. Let the ranger would try and stop him, but Yogi would win every time. So all I'm saying is, just let the bear
have the food. Let the bear
have the food. Put it in a picnic
basket. Leave it out.
Problem solved.
Problem solved. I don't understand
why they gotta make it so difficult.
This is why they need us.
It is exactly why they need us.
Alright, well that's it for this episode.
Thank you so much for listening or watching.
However you enjoyed this podcast, Krendor, hit up the socials.
We got socials.
You go to YouTube.com slash Cox and Krendor podcast to listen to all these podcasts.
You can go to YouTube.com slash Cox and Krendor to see all the funny animations.
Also, you can go to Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud.
They have our podcast on it as well.
Wow, crazy.
You can watch our other stuff on Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox.
Twitch.tv slash Crendor.
YouTube Jesse Cox.
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Patreon Jesse Cox.
Patreon Crendor.
Facebook Jesse Cox.
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Twitter Jesse Cox. Twitter Crendor. And Instagram Notorious Cox. Patreon Crendor. Facebook Jesse Cox. Facebook Crendor. Twitter Jesse Cox.
Twitter Crendor.
And Instagram Notorious Cox.
Instagram Crendor was taken if you want to see Benny the Bull.
And yeah.
You want to see Benny the Bull?
I do, actually.
I do want to see Benny the Bull.
Yep.
I love Benny.
I love Benny the Bull.
And I want more of Benny the Bull.
Yes.
Yeah.
Not the crappy one that you took a photo with,
but that one that kind of looks like he's two feet tall and inflatable.
Yeah.
He is barely taller than the woman sitting in a chair.
I love this guy.
I want more of him.
All right.
Well, that's it.
Thanks so much.
We'll see you all next time.
And as always,
Woo!
Don't be continued.