Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 330 - Jesse's Riding the Neon Tiger

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

The boys are back and this time Jesse brought some weird energy drink he bought on a whim. Meanwhile Crendor is returns from his 4pm St. Patrick's Day dinner with many a tale of drunken old person. Th...en we discover that Alligator pranks are lame, but not as lame as the Washington football teams new name. All this and learning to be a pro streamer in 30 days - on this exciting new episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://joinhoney.com/cox to get Honey for free! Go to http://hawthorne.co and use promo code cox to get 10% off your first purchase!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by Hawthorne. Hawthorne's gonna make you smell your best. Also today, we're brought to you by honey. Honey is gonna save you some money. Now let's jump into this podcast! Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Hello everybody it's time for another episode of Gags and Credits in the morning. I don't even know if you said episode right there.
Starting point is 00:00:44 I don't know what I just said. Half there. I don't know what I just said. Halfway through, I thought about, like, did I skip words? Welcome to the episode. I don't know what happened. I honestly, while I was saying it, was like, what just came out of your mouth, dude? Who knows? Who cares? That's true.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? That's true. Who cares? Who cares? Today I saw a guy say that he was listening to the podcast from the beginning and it was very nostalgic and I was like, I'm so glad that's how you feel because I would be like, these guys suck.
Starting point is 00:01:20 I guarantee you like 90% of our viewers now are just here out of nostalgia. You know, I'll take it. I'll take it. That's what I'm saying. I'll take anything. We're like the Sega CD of podcasts. It's all nostalgia.
Starting point is 00:01:32 We were never good. I like it. We're the Sega CD. Yeah. Yeah. We had some fun games. Yeah. All three of them.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Bangers. All bangers. Yeah, all three of them. Bangers. All bangers. Yeah. Hold on. What were you drinking? You mentioned sour drinks. Yeah, it's probably what messed me up there at the top. So I was... Boy, this whole...
Starting point is 00:02:01 There's stories within stories here. Okay. So yesterday, I was headed to, it was our dear sweet friend Michelle Morrow's birthday. So I was going to drive over to her house to like, I don't know, get drunk or whatever. I have no idea what kids do these days. I was going to drive up there and while I was on the highway, like someone texting, like it was bumper to bumper traffic. So it wasn't terrible. But someone texting, like just hit the back of my car. I was like, Oh my God, are you kidding me? So I go to pull over to deal with this and they just
Starting point is 00:02:36 drive off. I was like, Oh my God. And because I was so like distracted about pulling over on the highway that I just didn't get their license so they're just gone classic um so that's lovely and the damage isn't like bad the bumper's a little messed up and so I'm taking it in to get it to get it looked at tomorrow but the problem is is that my insurance company was like do not
Starting point is 00:02:57 drive that car there could be like undercarriage damage there could be other things wrong with it and admittedly lights went on in my car like an oil light which i don't know what that means i'm like okay so i'm just taking into so it's just been a pain in the ass they're like do not drive that car and i was like well what do you want me to do tomorrow when i've taken in they're like oh drive the car i'm like what the whatever um or like or you could get it towed
Starting point is 00:03:26 And I'm like, this car is a curse It's been nothing but a curse It is a cursed car Or LA driving is cursed, either one Probably both, you just have a bad combo Yeah, so anyway Today I went for a walk And went down to this breakfast place
Starting point is 00:03:43 That used to be great And now is kind of crap But I went for a walk and like went down to this breakfast place that used to be great and now it's kind of crap but uh i went for a walk before streaming earlier and i got some like grits and i got like a bagel sandwich and then i was looking for a drink and i didn't want to get coffee because i wasn't feeling hot stuff but the place i was at only had hot drinks and then one of those fridges of weird energy drinks that you have never seen before in your life. And so in it was a Mountain Dew Energy Pomegranate Blue Burst. What the shit?
Starting point is 00:04:18 Yeah, and I was like, well, it says it's only 25 calories, and it's like an energy drink that isn't a lot of sugar. So like, okay. Why does that look like it's only 25 calories and it's like a it's like an energy drink that isn't a lot of sugar so like okay like why does that look like it's out of like tron the the logo looks like a future tiger like a like a 1980s cyber tiger it's crazy so i i was drinking it and it's tastes like kind of a one of those blue slushies One of those things you get that's supposed to be raspberry But isn't It tastes kind of like that
Starting point is 00:04:51 But also without all the sugar So it's like not great But it does have some energy in it But it's sour 180 grams caffeine Oh yeah This has been jacking me up all morning So it's great And I've been kind of just like buzzing off this thing Graham's caffeine. Caffeine. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This has been jacking me up all morning.
Starting point is 00:05:05 So it's great. And I've been kind of just like buzzing off this thing. And so while I was waiting for you, because I'm trying to limit my sugar. I'm trying to be like a good boy. Right. But I also love sweet candies. And so when I see something, I'm like, well, I have to try it. So I was at the grocery store and this lady was like, sir, can I interest you in trying this candy?
Starting point is 00:05:27 And I tried it. It was actually delicious. It was very good. I love like sour gummies, right? It was delicious. And so these are called Pink Panda. Definitely marketed towards women. 100%.
Starting point is 00:05:39 Like inside the box that I bought, it had one of those like face masks like you could put on. It's definitely marketed to women. Don't care. Still bought it. And they're called Astro Blasters. And they have like one package is two grams of sugar and 90 calories. And there's a lot of gummies in here. And I'm like, not bad.
Starting point is 00:05:59 I see that. So I was, you know, normally I'd be like, these suck. These don't taste right but these are like extra sour they're exactly what i'm looking for so as we were starting i put one in my mouth started chewing it was like wow that's sour and i went to get my sour ass drink and took a swig of that and i double soured up and i was my mouth was like just no it was it was like sucking on a lemon it was bad news but i love i love lemon flavoring too so like i don't care but i'm enjoying it i look them up and i see it and they have reviews below the product and my favorite part is that you're
Starting point is 00:06:43 right it's primarily women yeah but whenever they write a review they're just like obsessed with this candy it tastes amazing it won't stick on your teeth i went back i bought 12 bags more it was fantastic it has less sugar regular candy and there's like another one like we love pink panda candy we would definitely recommend it to friends and family and there's like two guys that reviewed it and this is their reviews all All gone. Love them. Yeah. And then great. That's it. The woman at the grocery store got me. And now I'm buying candy marketed towards women.
Starting point is 00:07:14 And I don't give a damn. I don't give a damn. I'm here for it. Yeah. I mean, I have a box of those in my closet. And I decided I'm going to wait for Crandor. I'll snack on this. And it was a bad choice now
Starting point is 00:07:27 i'm extra sour huh wait was uh i'm rewinding now but was that breakfast place you went to one of the places we went to or no no no no um there used to be a cafe that was like kind of southern soul foodie stuff. And they were a little further away, but they moved really close to me. And I guess in the process of moving, either due to, because they moved right at the start of COVID. And either due to that or whatever, the quality of everything declined drastically. It is not as good as it used to be. And so that's kind of disappointing.
Starting point is 00:08:03 There's a lot of great breakfast places here now That's for sure They all popped up But yeah I haven't been back to the place you and I went to Since you and I went there It's a little like You gotta go with like friends You know what I mean
Starting point is 00:08:16 You gotta go like hang out with buddies Yeah I feel that I got you I'm not gonna just walk in and be like Give me a mimosa I'll sit in the corner and judge people. I don't know. I'd probably do that. But the thing is, like, every time I go out to breakfast with, like, the scary game squad guys, because Alex is a man of the world.
Starting point is 00:08:37 We always go to someplace that isn't, you know, the place you and I went. We're like, you want more cheese on that shit? You know, we go to some place it's like this weird oyster thing while we have this other thing that is like but it's always delicious it's just not jesse and crendor go eat like a you know like a breakfast sandwich made out of waffles and stuff and watch a guy drunkenly hit on a girl and everyone's like is that your date and she's like i don't know that man you know how long ago was that at this point five years it's i think it's over five years the problem is the last two years have messed me up right because i i remember 2020 traveling but i also realize now that that was i was still traveling around the country up until the beginning of march and then we had to cancel the cox and crendor show in march
Starting point is 00:09:36 but i was like ready to do it and i was like i don't know and we were gonna go to the uk at the end of march like i forgot how I traveled. Like I would be someplace every month. Oh yeah. I remember COVID hit. I remember. That's right. You were. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Cause we were about, we're new to the show and then we're like, we'll just spray you down everybody. Yeah. And now I haven't, the only time I traveled was last summer when my parents wanted to go on their weird world trip. Yeah. Oh, it's crazy you know um time i know time time man yeah but it's been so that two years have flown by and yet at the
Starting point is 00:10:16 same time not which is crazy so i keep thinking back to like oh yeah i remember when we did this thing i was like oh my god that was four years ago that was five years ago it's crazy to me now that's all because i just haven't done anything in the last two years i'm just like i'm living my life like i get i get those dudes who who when they talk about their their greatest moments they talk about like high school football i get it i get it now i talk about like like all these crazy things i did in my life and i'm like that was five years ago. Oh, my God. Even just old school YouTube. I made that video ten years ago.
Starting point is 00:10:52 That's why I was playing Banjo-Kazooie on stream yesterday, right? I saw. Every year, I do my annual Banjo-Kazooie playthrough. And so, in the past, when I when i first started doing it took me like nine hours to beat the game then it was like eight then it was like like seven or maybe like seven hours like 50 minutes then i got really bad like and got back to nine hours i was like nah so last year i was like we're doing this we're in in the ultimate speed run. And I got like six hours, 50 minutes. And then this year, I beat it.
Starting point is 00:11:30 I think it was 25 minutes faster. It was like six hours and 30 minutes or something. I swear to God, I thought you were about to say, and then I beat it, 25 minutes. I was like, what? There's probably some glitchy speed run people that are just like, all you have to do is Mario scoot back up the old banjo tree and you're there.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Where he's like, he shoots up the thing. You know that? What did you learn from this experience of doing it every... This is like when people watch Lord of the Rings every year. I know a few people who watch the trilogy every year. Besides entertainment,
Starting point is 00:12:04 what did you learn about it and yourself well i learned about myself is that i'm getting too old gandalf because we had a point where like look there's always the this is the process of the banjo kazooie playthrough we start out i'm like drinking coffee i just got everything working i'm like yo let's go everybody's coming in they're like subbing they're like woo and i'm like drinking coffee i just got everything working i'm like yo let's go everybody's coming in they're like subbing they're like woo and i'm like nice then we like settle in you know you beat the first couple worlds they're pretty easy and like i love the ambience of banjo kazooie because you're constantly changing environment you're like oh now we're in the snow world now
Starting point is 00:12:38 we're in the desert world now we're in this you're like i was changing my lighting based off of the world amazing so amazing just adding to the true aesthetic uh then there are people being like So you're like, I was changing my lighting based off of the world. Amazing. Amazing. Just adding to the true aesthetic. Then there were people being like, dude, I still watch your old VODs of your Banjo-Kazooie playthroughs to fall asleep. And I was like, shit, dude. And then I was like, well, I guess we're adding one. You didn't say thank you. You were like, shit, dude.
Starting point is 00:12:59 I was like, oh, shit, dude. Sounds like a problem. So I was like, we're adding one to the arsenal now. So anyway, there's that. Then I start getting worn down. We start getting to the mid-levels, right? They're a little more challenging. You got to race Boggy.
Starting point is 00:13:14 And he's like, wahey! And you got to run around. You start messing up a little bit. Then you hit the rusty bucket bay. That's when I bust out the wine. Because that's when you got to calm the nerves down a bit so i start you know you know i have like a two glasses of wine and that's when you hit like click clock wood where it's it's like you have to make your jumps but you're getting hit
Starting point is 00:13:35 by dragonflies and then you realize like click clock wood's based off time because you go from like spring to summer to fall to winter and you like watch this eagle grow up and every time i like hit that point where i'm just like you know two glasses of wine in and the click clock would and you're just like time man we all grow yeah wow what an emotional journey you go that's what it is that's not just the ban Banjo-Kazooie speed run. This is a Banjo-Kazooie life journey. This is a process. So do you get
Starting point is 00:14:11 emotional at the end? Are you like, we did it everyone? No. But Alright. Well, you know, you're like, yeah, alright. I guess as much emotion as i can put forward right right right uh let's see you know then you're like dude next time i think i can get
Starting point is 00:14:32 under six hours because then some people like oh i think the fastest is like two and a half hours or something i'm like that can't be real plus did that person have like two glasses of wine let's see him do it after that Were they also trying to entertain And like clap every time someone Subscribed for 85 months Exactly I've got like two 100 Monthers now I think
Starting point is 00:14:55 Wow that's very Do they stop counting after 100 months I have some people that are 100 months And I don't see any like 101 No they keep going really yeah maybe those 101 people don't care about me they probably had 100 like fine like and stop this guy his asshole that's just i think uh there's not even that many other people have 100 i know jp does. Tali does.
Starting point is 00:15:28 You know, like all the old school people. There's like Manverse Game. There's like DJ Wheat. Like all those people. Who's the other one? Who's that one StarCraft guy? Day9. Day9 does. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:42 So like, you know. I feel like I'm like top 50 oldest, I think. I'll take it. Yeah, I mean, mine's a lie, so you win no matter what. Yeah. So, it's... Yeah, I don't... It's fascinating to me.
Starting point is 00:15:58 I never think about, like, oh, 100 months. And I'm like, how many years is that? And I'm like, oh, wow, okay. Yeah, we're going. That's, like, nine years. Yeah, that like, how many years is that? And I'm like, oh, wow, okay. Yeah, we're going. That's like nine years. Yeah, that's very impressive. That's why it's fun. I'll get people come in.
Starting point is 00:16:11 They're like, dude, somebody resubbed 40 months. That's wild. And I'm like, you think? This guy thinks 40 months. I think I still got my gallbladder out by then. That was like nothing. That's no time ago at all. I'd say we got post-gallbladder and pre-gallbladder out by then. That was like nothing. That was no time ago at all. I'd say we got
Starting point is 00:16:27 post-gallbladder and pre-gallbladder. If you've been here pre-gallbladder, you're going, that's like BC. We're in AD post-gallbladder. I was thinking the exact same thing. That's how that went. That was fun.
Starting point is 00:16:46 And then people were just bringing up old streams like, dude, remember when you streamed PUBG? Remember when you streamed this thing? Remember Divinity with Jesse and Sam and Dodger? And I was like, yeah. I remember, I remember. I remember that was, were you there the time that Matt Mercer tried to DM us? Were you part of that i think i was actually
Starting point is 00:17:06 i have like i wonder i wonder why people are like jesse why would you why are you never invited to go on critical role i'm like i'm gonna let you know you probably experienced the time that i made him make a pig an npc and he uh was not probably pleased with that he probably had a campaign planned out for us i was like like, I'm the pig farmer! And he was like, okay. This guy sucks. If you just watch our entire Goblin roleplay thing, you'll
Starting point is 00:17:33 realize quickly, like, wow, these people are terrible to play with. Yeah. So that was, you know, that's the thing. It's the annual Banjo-Kazooie. You get some trips down memory lane, you get some fun, some ambience, that's the thing. It's the annual Banjo-Kazooie. You get some trips down memory lane. You get some fun, some ambience, and a good time. You know?
Starting point is 00:17:50 That's what people want, truthfully. That's all people are after. It's just like a good time to... That's why, honestly, I've never really understood why people would watch like me, for example. But I kind of get the vibe of watching someone on Twitch. And you know what? Watching Octo play Elden Ring, I watched for like a week straight.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Every night I just tune in. Just to like, I wasn't playing, but I just wanted to see. And it was entertaining. And I like get it now. I totally get it. Well, I mean, there's sometimes I'm like I don't know why people would watch me play this and then other times I'm like yeah this seems like it'd be pretty fun like the band it's also like uh it's like a nostalgia it's like a holiday at
Starting point is 00:18:37 this point you know like people look forward to it like oh there it is it's like stability but then there's other times, like me just playing League. But the thing is, when I play League, I get a bunch of viewers. I'm like, I don't know. Ah, jeez. Okay, hold on. We're at 5,000 MS. All right, hold on.
Starting point is 00:19:03 Hold on. 5,000 on. Hold on. 5,000 MS. Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold Last ping Oh, it's going down
Starting point is 00:19:41 Oh Oh Oh, it's going down. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Hello. Oh, there we go. All right. Where did I leave off?
Starting point is 00:20:08 You were doing something about streaming, and then you vanished. Like, you literally started talking, and then you vanished. All right. So, before the Discord died, main point, I don't know what I'm doing. Just in general? I mean like the streams was like there's people they'll like stream themselves sleeping and I'm like what they're getting like a
Starting point is 00:20:32 thousands of people watching him sleep I mean look I today after I finished my stream I was looking for someone to raid and I wanted to go into just chatting and like raid someone who was lower down the viewership and just like you know spread some some joy in the world and as the further i scrolled down the weirder it got and i got to a point where there was like a woman in lingerie sleeping and i was like
Starting point is 00:20:53 what the hell and there was like 200 people watching and i was like this is so crazy to me yeah like that is they might as well just put up like instead of just chatting there should be like a just fetish section yeah that would probably solve a lot of things it really would it's like like uh i guess what i'm saying is i don't understand what gets more viewers at times sometimes i'm like dude when i stream this is gonna be so good like so many people will love it and it gets like barely any views and i'm like okay and then. And then I'm like, I'm just going to play League. And then I get like 800 people watching. I'm like, I don't understand. I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Yeah, I don't, man. I will never truly understand. I will never nail it. I'll never be good enough to be like, well, I understand the algorithms and this and that. The thing is that those people who do go in on that always end up the better for it. But I just don't have the... I've never had the mental capacity to be like, now I'm going to game the system.
Starting point is 00:21:55 I can't even do it in a video game. Like when someone tells me like, oh, you got to do this and this, and if you min-max this, I'm like, yeah, I just wanted to play. I didn't want to be the master. that's that's the thing is like you have to either be entertaining or be good at the thing i'm definitely not good at the thing but luckily i got in early enough that's the that was the key right like when i made a wow video
Starting point is 00:22:23 and uploaded it, I didn't have competition. There's three people making WoW videos and two of them were like, they didn't know what they were doing. They were like, what's going on? I just put up a video and people searched World of Warcraft and I'm there. Thank God I got in early.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Now it's like, that'll change every day. Yeah. It's too much I was speaking of earlier When I was on the Just Chatting stuff I was saying I remember 2019 if I did a Just Chatting stream Easily
Starting point is 00:22:58 Easily I would be Top 3 Now the top three are like 35,000 people watching Yeah it's insane Damn it definitely grew up Yeah Yeah like right now if you go there
Starting point is 00:23:15 It's like 46,000 38,000 38,000 29,000 21,000 20,000 15,000 14,000 like I would be in top three with like 1,500. I remember when we did Co-Optional and we'd be like
Starting point is 00:23:31 the number one thing on Twitch at like 5,000, 6,000. It's crazy. It's all just because people grew up watching it and then they started doing it. It's like, oh, I grew up watching streaming so now I'm going to try streaming because people grew up watching it. And then they start doing it. It's like, oh, I grew up watching streaming.
Starting point is 00:23:46 So now I'm going to try streaming. Or like more people start watching it. Because then they're like, oh, well, it just becomes more mainstream. While when we did it, it was like, I'm live streaming on Twitch. And everyone's like, what the hell are you talking about? Are you crazy? On Twitch? And you're like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Yeah. Yeah, I can't believe that... God. Everything has... It's gotten crazier. It's gotten... But in a way that is, I think, reflective of society, where it feels like the rich get richer, and everyone
Starting point is 00:24:20 else is scrounging for scraps. Everyone is just like... the vast majority of people are in in that sub 200 range and then there's a sizable 200 to a thousand and then a thousand plus is like this very small group and then there are just a 0.1 percent rolling in like 80 000 people watch yeah that's usually the way it works well usually with that you sacrifice a lot of mental sanity like i would lose my mind at that point well sure i don't know how any of them read their chats i i watch i'll go to like watch a big streamer do their thing. And they're like sitting there talking with chat and chat's like, I'm like, how do they do this?
Starting point is 00:25:09 I couldn't do it. I wouldn't, I would not. I don't pay attention to chat now as it is. And I don't know that I could handle anything else. I already said there was, I did a brand deal for, I don't remember what it was. It was like T-Mobile or something. And Twitch was like, you'll be on the front page. And I was like, okay.
Starting point is 00:25:29 And so I think being on the front page, I hit like 20-something thousand viewers. Sure. And I hated it. It was awful. It was just like people come in and be like, who's this guy? Who's this guy? He's not playing a game. This guy's a fucking idiot.
Starting point is 00:25:47 And then some other guy comes in and he's like, here's my tentacle ASCII porn art. And you're like, all right, you got to take it. I said it feels like you're a substitute teacher. And you got to be like, all right, can we not post ASCII art tentacles in the chat? Okay, calm down. Okay, don't say that. Don't say that. You can't say that. Okay, we're gonna have a good time.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Okay, everybody, let's just... I could not do it. I think you handle it differently from me. Yeah. Because every time someone posts any AsciiArt, I'm like, is that Hitler? Did you just post Hitler in chat? It could be anything. And they're all like...
Starting point is 00:26:23 I'm just like, what are you doing is that a penis what did you post like what is the matter with you why would you post that and they're like it was it was a pepe face and i'm like it looked like a penis to me they get like all worked up they're like no it was pepe i'm like i don't know i saw a mustache that was clearly a hitler that's you're just me in saints row yeah oh i've learned i've learned that you can easily people who are trying to piss you off are easily pissed off themselves and so you can just like turn it back on them and just be like i don't understand what you're trying to do what do you say a lot of times someone will come to chat and they'll say something and I just completely
Starting point is 00:27:06 ignore them and they'll just leave and it feels great. Like I'll watch them just walk away. That's usually the best course of action, honestly. It's like anything. Yeah, I think I never understand when streamers actively engage with like douchebags in chat. That's just a lot of people's...
Starting point is 00:27:21 I mean, it's like Twitter. You'll do that on Twitter sometimes, right? Oh, sure. But I don't do it... Like I mean, it's like Twitter. You'll do that on Twitter sometimes, right? Oh, sure. But I don't do it. Like some people, that's their every day. Oh, yeah. That's just. That's like their brand is I'm engaging with chat and like I want to fight them.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Well, when it becomes your brand, then it's just they're going to purposefully do it. That's what I'm saying. You're only making it worse. It's just like when people, their brand on Twitter is emotional damage. They're just like, my life is terrible and I need all of you to constantly tell me how good it is. And it's like, stop. Stop. I can't.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Oh, my God, dude. This past week, I went through and straight up just started unfollowing people. through and straight up just started unfollowing people and it is and it wasn't even for like some of them were reasons that were straight up just like you post so much like two three times a day fine but like 15 times a day is too much my feed is all you and look i like you yeah what the shit i'm like i like you but like you I don't hang out with you I probably met you once at a thing you seem like a great person but I ain't got I don't have the capacity
Starting point is 00:28:31 for this we're not actually friends we just met and like followed each other so I'm gonna do us a favor and just unfollow like I don't nothing against you yeah I'm like nothing against you but I'm just unfollow I'm sure we'll
Starting point is 00:28:46 meet again and we'll have a great time and i'll follow you again like an idiot and then another year from now i'll be like what did i follow but like nothing against you you're great this is too much what you're doing too much yeah that's just that's just part of like the whole network that just ties into all too that's why a lot of people like dude i want to become a streamer i'm like you don't understand you don't understand the amount of stuff that goes into this and it's not just like i'm working in the coal mines or something right like it's just it's it's wild i still compare it to like being it's like major league baseball i think that's the most accurate sport i always do nba but i think major league baseball is more accurate
Starting point is 00:29:23 because you have the Major League level down to grade school kids playing baseball. You work up the ranks of high school, then you're in single A, then you got double A, you got triple A, then you got the majors. Some people, you hit the majors for a year
Starting point is 00:29:40 and then you fall back into the minor leagues and then you go away forever. Some people, you're just in the majors, like me, for a while because you bat 210. You can't hit home runs, but you can get on base. You get on base.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Yeah, you can get on base and you can draw walks and you can still steal a base. And they're like, ah, he's good for something. And then everyone's like, who's that guy? Oh, I think I've heard of him.
Starting point is 00:30:04 He's played since like 2009. You're like, yeah, that's good for something. And then everyone's like, who's that guy? Oh, I think I've heard of him. He's played since like 2009. They're like, yeah, that's me. He's still going. So it's, and some people, you know, you're just always in the minor leagues and it just sucks because you're just sitting there and you want to make it up, but you just can't. Like it's, it literally reminds me of baseball
Starting point is 00:30:22 as somebody who just watches every sport. Oh my God. I was going to bring this up. Okay. I was looking. I forget where I was on the internet, but you know how ads just pop up and you're like, what the shit? Sure. So I got an ad for Ninja's Master Class.
Starting point is 00:30:41 Oh, dude. It's a master class where he's like yo i'm ninja you probably know me as ninja but i'm gonna teach you how to become a streamer and i was like oh my god like i gotta see this and it's just like the most generic like make sure you got a good microphone so you watch the entire master class oh no god no i almost want us to do a like we watch it and like react to that masterclass it was just uh i watched like little clips they put into the ad so it was like you just gotta respond to your chat you know like talk to them and like just have a a good microphone and setup.
Starting point is 00:31:25 And it's like the most basic stuff where people are just, just be yourself. Like that type of thing. It's like, yeah, just, you know, go to Mixer, have them pay you like $30 million. And you're good to go. I'm going to go, I'm looking at this right now. I'm going to go. I'm looking at this right now. So the conceit of the beginning is I,
Starting point is 00:31:49 instead of spending thousands of hours, I'm going to break it down for you in 30 days. Yeah. The thousands of hours is the practice. It takes to be like him breaking it down for you. Isn't helpful. It's him being like, buy a better microphone, make money,
Starting point is 00:32:02 engage with viewers. It is like, yeah, no, everyone knows that. Is this him? Like learning how learning how to brand he's like so i dyed my hair blue because people related blue hair with the ninja brand and i was like okay like that's one of his tips is just like become a brand thing that's that's what i think sucks, is everyone becomes a brand thing. Yeah. And suddenly they're their brand instead of a person. And the next thing you know, you're at a 100 Ninjas party pretending to be someone you're not in order to impress people you don't know. It sucks.
Starting point is 00:32:35 It sucks. No, thank you. Yeah, I just. The thing with all this is, like, there's only so many things you can tell somebody with how to become like a thing like how to become a better like three-point shooter how to become a better but like it's like with how to become but there's only so many tips you can give because it's like it's such a generic thing you just you get a microphone you get streaming software you get a computer and you get streaming software, you get a computer,
Starting point is 00:33:10 and you stream. Like, that's it. And then you, like, there's marketing and all that stuff behind it, but like... Ow. Ninja when he streamed with Drake. Ninja and Drake played duos, Fortnite, Battle Royale, Game 1. It's a Ninja. It has nine million views. Here's the thing. When he played with Drake, he had blue hair. So he became synonymous with blue hair at that moment. Right. Him telling people to create a brand before they have a brand moment is insane. That's like telling kids like, all right, so the thing you want to do before you become successful is figure out how you're going to market yourself. What? No.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Just play. He was just playing. He was having fun. Drake jumped in. And now he's known as the blue-haired dude who played with Drake. So he stays with blue hair. That's his brand. You can't.
Starting point is 00:33:56 That's like people trying to create viral moments. You can't. It happens organically. Yeah. It's like I didn't go into this being like, dude, with Ikea, I'm gonna make Ikea my brand. Okay, I'll start going there. Like, no, it just happened.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Yeah, you like going to Ikea and it became a part of like the Crendor personality. It's dumb. And I hate it. It is very dumb. So yeah, that was a thing I saw. it's dumb and I hate it. It is very dumb. Um, so yeah, that was a thing I saw,
Starting point is 00:34:28 you know, um, I, I am still curious to like his other tips and stuff, just, just to see. Uh, but I was going to bring up something earlier that we just went on our,
Starting point is 00:34:43 uh, you know, our reign. Yes. Uh uh so st patrick's day did you do anything on st patrick's day no i did nothing on st patrick's day um i will say that the thing i wanted to do there was a bar nearby that's like an irish pub and i wanted to go there except you know it's very close to work so i thought like all right well i'll go by on my way home yeah but on the way home as i'm leaving the office i see like a line of people i'm like what the hell it's like i don't know 7 p.m and
Starting point is 00:35:18 there's a line from the office all the way to the bar you might as well just go someplace else you're not gonna get the bar's not that big. You're not going to get into like 11 o'clock. Like, what are you doing? So I was like, well, I guess that's not for me. So I left. And then I the next day drove back to the office and
Starting point is 00:35:37 outside there were like there was so much trash. Just cases of white claw and shit just like on the road. And I was like, oh, I guess they didn't need to go to the bar. Someone probably just brought them drinks in the line, which is an even weirder thing. Just a bunch of drunk college kids standing in line waiting to get into a bar. They never got into getting drunk while in line.
Starting point is 00:35:59 I was like, actually, that's probably the college experience. Never mind. Yeah. There's never a time worth waiting to get into a bar. Yep. Never. Well, we went to an Irish pub place. We went early.
Starting point is 00:36:15 So I was like, I want to go like seven when you wanted to go. That's like we went like 430 and it was still pretty crowded. But like, I mean mean the pub near me there was a line at 10am as I was driving to the office that day so like I get it so we got in and it was just you know a bunch of people
Starting point is 00:36:36 it was like some boomer people being like hey here we are Irish time and then people was drinking Guinness there was like kids running around being like woo like all right uh so these two people walk in all right this is the main focal point of why i remember this so well wearing cowboy hats and cowboy boots and they are It's like a husband-wife or boyfriend-girlfriend. They look
Starting point is 00:37:07 like they'd be on a reality MTV show in 2005. You know how they used to have newlyweds like Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey? Yeah. They're all jean pant outfit.
Starting point is 00:37:23 All the time. With a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, they just sit down at the bar and they just start being like, all right, what are we going to have? And the person next to him is like this old woman that's just like, hey, you guys coming here? Where are you from? And they just all start talking. Then this guy looks like Bill Gates goes up and starts ordering drinks, and he's like, you guys aren't from around here.
Starting point is 00:37:50 You guys look like you're from Texas. And he starts talking to him. Then this guy, who I swear to God looks like your dad. He looks like your dad in a yellow hoodie. It could have been my dad in a yellow hoodie for all I know. He walks up to him him and he's like You guys from Texas? You guys from Texas?
Starting point is 00:38:11 And they're like I forgot where they said they're from They're just like we're from the south And then he's like You sound like you're from Minnesota Not from Texas And he just starts talking And he's like standing behind them
Starting point is 00:38:23 With like his hands in his pockets just like yeah you know it gets cold up here getting warmer getting warmer uh and then like they hit a point where i knew they just didn't want to talk to him so there's like looking at the and march madness that was on he's like what's it like down there you say y'all yeah you got y'all right you say y'all? Yeah, you got y'all, right? You say y'all a lot. And they're like, yeah. I can't figure out what's going on in this bar.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Like, were these people so crazily dressed that everyone was like, whoa. Like, why are they harassing them? It was because they just had cowboy hats on. And everyone was just like, that's weird. That's all it takes? That's all it took for that? Yep. That's all it takes? That's all it takes. That's all it took for that? Yep. That's all it took.
Starting point is 00:39:07 I mean, listen, these people are drunk by now. They just see a cowboy hat like, what's going on here? I mean, look, I too would be like, who the hell are these weirdos? We are certainly not in Texas. But I wouldn't be like, hey, where are y'all from? What are you doing here? I don't care enough. Like, hey, where are y'all from?
Starting point is 00:39:23 What are you doing here? I don't care enough. Well, then these two old married people come in. They sit down. And he's like, you guys married? And I couldn't hear if they were married or not. And he's like, just wait. Just wait.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Then you'll start fighting. And you won't talk. It's like, oh, my God. Wow. That doesn't sound too good uh and then uh i think we were eating our we got irish food it was pretty good i got like a shepherd's pie right that was amazing yeah it was pretty good shepherd's pie and then toaster woman got corned beef and cabbage because she like never had it also good Was it actually good there? It was actually good.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Yeah, we were surprised. I was like flip a coin. I don't know if it was going to be good or bad, but it was pretty good. And then this other lady that was sitting next to the cowboys, she gets up and she comes over to our table and she goes, hey, is that any good? I was like,
Starting point is 00:40:23 which one? And she's like, either of them. I got to order something. They both look pretty good. And we were like, yeah, they're both pretty good. And then she's like, what's in yours? And I was like, oh, it's got like beef and potatoes and onions and stuff. And she's like, I think that's the one. I think that's the one.
Starting point is 00:40:38 And I was like, go for it. And then she just went back. I was like, all right. Was she drunk? Are all these people drunk? I think she was drunk. The four o'clock crowd is pretty amazing. Yep. It is pretty great.
Starting point is 00:40:54 And then at the same time, this other lady comes over. Like five minutes later and she's like, I want to eat something, but I do not want to be full. What is your food good? And we're like, yeah, it's pretty good. And she's like, what did you get? It's like the same thing.
Starting point is 00:41:09 I don't know. Maybe we looked inviting. I don't know. I guess. They'd come over and just be like, okay, that sounds good. And then they'd walk away. I'm like, all right. And then I just kept paying attention to the cowboys Because they kept getting all the attention too
Starting point is 00:41:25 Or the cowboy and the cowgirl I can't figure out You must have been there At grandma time 4.30 You know that those people were like Let's go talk to the youngins They seem to have it figured out
Starting point is 00:41:41 Well there's like the bar half and like the restaurant half So we were like right in the middle of there So like we're close enough to the bar to see everything Well, there's like the bar half and like the restaurant half. So we were like right in the middle of there. So like we're close enough to the bar to see everything. But like there's also the rest of there's like the kids running around. They had like a band, but they weren't even they played Irish songs for a bit. Then they just started playing like normal songs. I'm like, that's because you'll probably complain. Like, it's a little too upbeat for me.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Can you keep it down? I don't like this what are you saying uh but overall great experience great experience i'd do it again i mean yeah i love i love a good irish pub yeah especially if it's a good irish pub i'm here for that see that's my thing is like all i just love being in the atmosphere like i've said that before but like i'm like an introvert that enjoys extroverted environments but i don't want to interact with the extroverts unless i'm like you know two beers in man i would love to go to when when you come out here again whenever that is we should go to the irish pub near me
Starting point is 00:42:45 The problem is they don't serve Irish food They serve like just normal bar food But It is good bar food Like actually surprisingly good Yeah I'd be down for that They have a good egg and a good ass chicken sandwich Is all I'm saying
Starting point is 00:43:00 Yeah And turtle races. Turtle races every Thursday. Yes. What? I think I've mentioned it to you before. I need a Crendor companion for it, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:14 No, I'd be down. Just to see, you know? Just to get that experience. Just to see what's going on. The people in there. Yeah, I don't know how they race the turtles. The track, it looked like a circle, so I don't know what that means means if they run around a track or they just put them in the middle it's like first turtle like do something wins i have no clue but they you bet on the turtles and they
Starting point is 00:43:32 have like little uh bins where you put the money so uh you know what i bet they have great names too like yertle and myrtle girdle you know what's All great turtle names. It's like tying it back in. Going to things like Twitch parties. I thought it was always funny how Twitch parties and stuff always just turned into high school, college, bar. That's because most of them are high school, college, bar people. I just remember being at those parties and there's just streamers grinding on other streamers. There's streamers being like, there's the people being like, do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?
Starting point is 00:44:12 Okay. It's that, but then it's literally the same as the normal bar scene stuff. bar scene stuff is people who it's like imagine a bunch of uh peacocks in a room together all throwing their giant feathers around hoping people are like you're awesome like there's nothing people want more than at a streamer party than for someone to tell them how much they like them oh yeah and they're just waiting around for someone to do it it is bonkers no thank you although you know it is it is a lot of free stuff admittedly that's why i'm there i love a good i love a good free night out so i'm not gonna complain that's very true normally i would do i would just show up use my drink get a drink, drink it, say hi to like a few people, be like, oh, hey, what's up, dude?
Starting point is 00:45:07 It's you. And then leave. That's the reason why I do most things. I go perfunctorily. So I'm just like there. Like, hello. Yes. All right.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Goodbye. And like people can say they saw me and I'm like, oh man, I'm going to go like do anything but this. Yeah. Yeah. It's not great. It's, no. You know what is great though? If you're listening or you've
Starting point is 00:45:32 watched us on YouTube for a while, you probably wonder how I look so good all the time. And if you've ever met me, you're probably wondering, how does he smell so good all the time too? Well, the answer, my friends, is Hawthorne. Hawthorne's grooming products are my answer to why I look good, feel good, and smell good. Hawthorne is a premium men's
Starting point is 00:45:52 grooming brand that makes it quick and easy to confidently be your best with skincare and hair care made just for you. How do they make it just for you? Well, science is how they do it. Science and a lot of customers with a huge database of people and the way they think, the way they act, the way they drink, the way they shave, the way they shower, all this information. First, all you do is you go and take the Hawthorne quiz. It's going to ask you questions about like what you like to drink or do you smoke or what kind of shampoo do you use do you use a bar of soap or you do use the the squishy stuff and you stick it in a loofah and the whole whatever they're gonna ask you all these questions it's super easy it's actually kind of fun and in the end you get a customized product tailored to your body skin hair and lifestyle and
Starting point is 00:46:40 if you're like me you'll end up with some great cologne which i use all the time body wash which is great. You can get deodorants, all sorts of things. And the way it just nails it every time using the quiz answers you gave versus the quiz answers other people who might be similar to you gave. Great example. I got some cologne. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:46:57 My dad smelled it. He loved it. You know, we're in the same family. So it checks out that that would be something that might happen. The best part is Hawthorne stands by their customers, so if you're not completely satisfied, they will re-tailor your products for free based on your feedback if you don't like it, and pay for the shipping so really there is no risk at all. So if I can look and feel as good as I do with Hawthorne, think about what you're going
Starting point is 00:47:20 to be like. You're going to be killing it. So make sure you are ready for anything that comes your way by taking the Hawthorne quiz today. Go to hawthorne.co and use promo code Cox to get 10% off your first order. That's H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E.co, promo code Cox, hawthorne.co, promo code Cox, to get 10% off your first purchase. Also today we're brought to you by Honey! Honey is the best way to save money when you are shopping online.
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Starting point is 00:49:02 We're going to start with the Cretendor. Cretendor,'s a traffic out there Oh boy traffic is picking up Because it's getting warmer outside We're getting into spring It's going to be summer People are starting to travel again They're getting wacky wild
Starting point is 00:49:13 They're standing outside bars Waiting forever And you got more daylight Speaking of which That's right right after we did our podcast The government or whatever The house the, I don't remember which one, approved the daylight laws so that we wouldn't do it next year. But I think it has to pass one of the other things.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Yes, it does. Yeah, but it seems promising. They all approved it. Everybody was like, yeah, why the shit are we doing this? Back to you What's funny is they People are now complaining that they picked the wrong one Which I think is a problem that we had We didn't know which one to pick
Starting point is 00:49:52 Forward or back People were like no you picked the wrong one We don't want Daylight Saving Time we want the other one Whatever I'm fine with it I think we'll all learn to adapt I just don't care let's just get rid of it. Wait, which one did they pick? Our current one.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Oh, yeah, that's the good one. That's where we get more sunlight. Well, a lot of people are saying that in the fall, students will go to school when it's dark in the morning. And they're terrified for kids. And I'm like, get over it. Kids have been able to be out in the dark for a long time that's on that's like shut up like one extra hour of it being dark outside is gonna like ruin the world that's what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:50:33 it's so dumb it's not a problem the rest of the world that doesn't do daylight savings time isn't like well our country is ruined because of it no just you'll get over it. You'll figure it out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Maybe just start school an hour later and get out an hour later. Absolutely. Absolutely. Dude, I hated getting up early. I had to start school like 7.30. That was dumb as shit. And they're like, well, the parents might have to work early. Like, yeah, well, most people now they work at home.
Starting point is 00:51:03 I completely agree. I think if school started an hour later I think it would do a This is I often think about this I don't know that I'll do it But I often think about I've been researching a lot of studies about like Just time and work ethic and things like that
Starting point is 00:51:20 And I even think about You know being a boss And how I keep reading about four-day work weeks and people who start work at 10 a.m instead of 9 a.m stuff like that and all the research like when you think about you think like how can you possibly get more work done but all the research is like most people they just don't they just sit around at work. They look at Reddit. They listen to our podcast and watch video. Yeah, you might as well say, all right, it's four 10-hour workdays instead of five 8-hour workdays.
Starting point is 00:51:57 And you'll get just as much, if not more, done. And they'll have time on a Friday, for example, or a Monday to get their life stuff done during a weekday. And that'll free them up to focus on work at work. I don't know. I'm super into the idea. And a lot of countries and companies are starting to do it. I'm like, hmm. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Maybe. I don't know. Yeah. I looked it up some old man writer just wrote a thing about where he's like this could be bad it's not gonna be bad like it could be a lot of things you know but it's not gonna be it is the most sensible thing i've ever heard Is just get rid of something that is Straight up Useless in today's society Useless
Starting point is 00:52:50 Like his argument already Is just like I like waking up early And it's gonna be dark outside It's like well guess what it's gonna stay lighter Outside later so you can do stuff later But I'm in bed by 5pm Tough Too bad you know what You can do stuff later. But I'm in bed by 5 p.m.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Tough. Yeah. Too bad. You know what? I go to bed at 4 a.m. I get some extra darkness in the morning. I'm excited. Yeah. Like, get over it.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Doesn't matter. There's no need for it. Really, truthfully, man was designed biochemically to wake up when the sun's up and go to bed when it's dark. And we haven't done that in, like, hundreds of years. Yeah. So you can play it all you want. I think it's a smart decision, and I hope the House votes for it so we can move on very quickly. The problem is because it's the House, there's going gonna be a lot of people who think they know stuff because for some reason we elect the dumbest
Starting point is 00:53:48 people to that branch of government they're gonna be like well actually i was talking with my spiritual advisor like oh my god he just had this 1918 poster victory congress passes daylight savings bill Get your hoe ready Get your hoe ready Get your hoe ready And so it's Uncle Sam with a hoe You know for like farming But he also has a gun which is weird
Starting point is 00:54:16 Like it's a very weird thing that he also has a gun With him cause you know farming Yeah And then he's pointing at a little Boy and he's Tell telling him to get his hoe ready i guess i don't know i'm not you know it's a different time it was a different time get your hoe ready get your hoe ready here's the thing still applicable today but like for a different reason
Starting point is 00:54:39 like it's gonna be dark later. Get your hole ready. That's the traffic. All right. Let's go to weather. Weather time. Let's see. We got any weather recommendations? Let's see. There's got to be.
Starting point is 00:55:07 I'm pretty sure somebody. There's a lot of people talk about chubby emu uh oh here we go uh wilder wilder kentucky pronounced wilder like this bigfoot is wilder than a sheep. Wilder is home to Bobby Mackey's Music World, a nightclub connected to ghost hauntings, murders, suicides, and Satanists. Hell yes. What? I'm looking this up. Bobby Mackey's?
Starting point is 00:55:41 Bobby Mackey's. Bobby Mackey, Wilder, Kentucky.er Kentucky Wilder Kentucky 61 degrees and sunny today you've got 30.19 inches of pressure 33% humidity 10 miles of visibility 6 mile an hour winds going to the east 741 a.m. sunrise 750 p.m. sunset dew point 32
Starting point is 00:56:00 UV index 0 and a waning gibbous of a moon phase open in that end day you've got 72 on monday mostly sunny 61 with rain on tuesday 68 thunderstorms on wednesday mostly cloudy 55 on thursday 51 on friday with cloudy skies saturday's 50 mostly cloudy And Sunday you've got 45 Mostly cloudy I'm gonna let you know There Probably
Starting point is 00:56:30 Isn't a lot of internet presence From Bobby Mackey Because their website is GeoCities level And when you click calendar It opens up like one of those Calendar apps In the thing.
Starting point is 00:56:47 When you go to gift shop, there is no gift shop. When you click paranormal, it links to a totally different site. And when you showed me this, I was like, you know what? This reminds me that we need to hound our audience to send us T-shirts from stuff in their area. Like, we need T-shirts sent to us from your hometown weird places. And this would be a perfect example. I want a Bobby Mackey T-shirt. And I went to the gift shop.
Starting point is 00:57:16 It doesn't exist. It's sorry for the inconvenience. The gift shop is under construction. It's sorry for the inconvenience The gift shop is under construction What's also crazy is there's a photo Of Bobby Mackey And on the main page It looks like one of those things
Starting point is 00:57:33 Where someone really poorly edits a photo And sticks it on Facebook to like trick your grandma Straight up The signage On the front of the building is fake Wait where The second photo The one that says America's honky tonk The signage on the front of the building is fake. Wait, where? The second photo, the one that says America's Honky Tonk, Friday, Saturday, matinee.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Oh, yeah. That is just text. Oh, yeah. That is fake. All right. Also, are Bobby and Mackie? Oh, no. Bobby Mackie is one guy.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Yeah. And then David Barry is another guy. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Here's the thing. I bet it's swinging. I bet they got some good honky-tonk in there.
Starting point is 00:58:13 I just... It reminds me of everything about Kentucky. My parents lived in Kentucky. This reminds me of everything about it. This is so very Kentucky. If you go to Lynx, they actually got ghost adventures so i think this was on ghost adventures oof of course it was bobby mackie come out come out and challenge i think he's still alive i hope or else that photo of him is that's dark no i mean like
Starting point is 00:58:42 yeah you know they were in there like there's any honky tonk ghosts in here come fight me by the way if you want to for another podcast i do chaluminati we watched the very first ghost hunters video they ever made way back when red door if you want to watch the craziest thing you've ever seen in your life, you have to find it bootleg. But it is, you and I have made better videos without even trying. It is so bad. And I was like, well, maybe it's just old. It came out like, I think it's from 2005.
Starting point is 00:59:15 I was making AMVs in 2000. Oh, yeah. Like, there is strange. Like, he does the Cardinal Sin. I always yell at people when they do this. He does the Cardinal Sin where he's like, so we entered the house and inside there were four ghosts and we were going to find those four ghosts.
Starting point is 00:59:35 And that's like the VO of him doing the house thing. And then it cuts to the live action version of him. He's like, so we're inside the house and there are four ghosts and we're going to find the four ghosts. I'm like, what? You just explained it. And that happens like 15 times and it keeps happening. Or at one point there is like a scare that happens, but no one can see it.
Starting point is 00:59:55 No one can see it. And they're like, oh, shit. They're freaking out. You can't see what happened. So instead of like, you know, normally if a camera camera if a guy's holding a camera you would then see the footage that was on the camera right what they do instead they take one handheld camera and point it at the viewfinder screen of the other camera and film that footage and show you that it's insane it is insane i don't i can't figure out how they got a show from this.
Starting point is 01:00:26 And one that's been on for as many years as it has. And I just feel like they had to have known someone. They had to have a friend in the industry. Because there's no... It's not good. And yet... They go see this one woman. She is so very clearly just manipulating them for attention.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Where she starts to talk. Oh, God, I have the hiccups. I think I'm possessed. She starts talking about like, well, I'm the only proprietor left of this place and we haven't had any guests in 20 years. But there's a ghost that lives here. And then another guy in town is like,
Starting point is 01:01:03 oh, yeah, the ghost, yep. It's like, yes, ghost that lives here and then another guy in town is like oh yeah the ghost yep like yes the ghost lives here and she used to be a prostitute and there was blood found and she died and they're like okay so what room she's like oh this room it's like yeah alright okay
Starting point is 01:01:19 it was yeah this is the one it's gotta be this one at one point a brick they catch a brick flying on screen Uh, it was, yeah, this is the one. It's gotta be this one. At one point, a brick flies, they catch a brick flying on screen, and they keep showing it to everyone in the town. And, of course, everyone in the town, by the way, this is like a deserted town on Route 66 or somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Clearly haven't had tourists in, like, 25 years. And it's very obvious they are in on this to 100% get people back into town. Oh, yeah. So they're just like, oh, I see it. Oh, this was the ghost.
Starting point is 01:01:49 All right. And you're like, oh, my God. Stop. It is atrocious. But it does show you the power of editing because their other stuff that's actually when they have a TV show Is edited so much better It's still comical they're trying to fight ghosts But at least it's edited in a watchable format This is just unwatchable
Starting point is 01:02:12 It is bad That doesn't surprise me too much Man I'd say go try and find it But you will not get that hour of your life back Oh my god There's one point of the documentary where they show the document like they do
Starting point is 01:02:29 like 20 minutes of a documentary then go on TV and talk about the documentary but include that in the documentary it's like that scene in Spaceballs where they're watching the movie Spaceballs it was crazy I was like wait are they talking about the documentary
Starting point is 01:02:45 we're watching right now? It was insane, dude. I've never seen anything like it. Oh, well. So, there you go. That's the weather. The weather. All right, let's go to sports.
Starting point is 01:03:00 Sports. Sports. So, sports, we have March Madness madness happening right now it's been pretty mad uh my bracket already busted terrible uh so that's usually what happens to get some that is usually what happens bracket busted um so that's cool uh Let's see. Over in baseball starting up. Now that the lockout ended, that spring training's happening. NBA playoffs getting close. We got the Miami Heat in first.
Starting point is 01:03:32 76ers, Bucks, Celtics, Bulls, Cavs. In the play-in, you got Raptors, Nets, Hornets, Hawks. Over in the West, you got the Suns, Grizzlies, Warriors, Jazz, Mavericks, Nuggets. With the Timberwolves, Clippers, Lakers, Pelicans in the play. And I have no idea how the Lakers and Pelicans are playing for a playing spot. They're both awful. But they are. Over in the NHL, you've got mail.
Starting point is 01:03:58 You, soldier boy. You got the Panthers in first, lightning right behind, with the Maple Leafs right behind them. You got the Hurricanes up there lightning right behind with the maple leaves right behind them you got the hurricanes up there with the penguins behind them you got the avalanche way up at the top and you got the flames up at the top uh and that in the nfl a lot of free agency news uh deshaun watson traded to cleveland uh guaranteed a shit ton of money even though he's a shitty person uh and russell wilson traded to denver so he's going from seattle to denver so seattle's not gonna be that great probably now a whole bunch of wacky football stuff going on and uh i'm excited i talked about my football
Starting point is 01:04:42 podcast we're gonna be doing a, so it'll be fun. It's right at the rant. And then I don't know if I brought this up, but Washington football team is now the Washington Commanders. Yeah. Terrible name. Hate it. Yeah. Dude, they had the option of going with the Red Hogs.
Starting point is 01:05:01 We kept calling them the Hogs. I was ready. I was like, dude, they're going to be the Hogs. That's a great name. Especially because you could just say the Hogs have the pig skin. It makes so much sense. It makes so much sense. They could have cool boars as their logo.
Starting point is 01:05:15 It's like, dude, Hogs. Just even just saying it. Like the Hogs. Let's go, Hogs. Just imagine a logo where the back half is a football and the front half is like a wild hog face yeah you can just see it in your mind's eye and they're like we're the command yeah you command nothing not my respects that's for sure yeah the worst part about it they were like we're gonna
Starting point is 01:05:36 announce the new team name on groundhog day and i was like dude this is clever this is clever they're being the hogs on groundhog day and it wasn't and i was like, dude, this is clever. This is clever. They're being the hogs on Groundhog Day. And it wasn't. And I was like, I hate this franchise. This franchise sucks. What's crazy is like so often they get it so wrong and they think they're being clever when at the same time something like the Kraken exists. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:00 You know, like a city so perfectly naming their sports team. It's just beautiful. It's dumb. Terrible choice. And I hope they suck. Just want to give a shout out to Seattle. You did so well. The Kraken are awesome.
Starting point is 01:06:19 I love that name. It's so good. It is great. I love the Kraken. That's sports. All right. What is our. I love the Kraken. That's sports. All right. What is our weird fact of the day? I guess it doesn't have to be weird, but I like the weird ones.
Starting point is 01:06:32 All right. You want a weird one today? Oh, hit me. We'll go weird. One quarter of all your bones are located in your feet. Yo, that is 100% true. That's why you always have foot problems. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:46 So there are 26 bones in each foot. That's 52 bones in both feet out of 206 total bones in your body, which is more than 25%. It may sound crazy at first, but you think about it, your feet support your weight and allow you to jump, run, and climb.
Starting point is 01:07:03 These bones and joints allow your feet to absorb, release energy efficiently, and it's one of the reasons humans can outrun any other animal in an endurance race. That's not true. Alright, a link to another article. They can outrun any other
Starting point is 01:07:19 animal in it. Maybe the keyword is an endurance race. Yeah. So it's long term because cheetah's gonna yeah eat you well it says when it comes to endurance we can outrun wolves cheetahs and even horses the problem is we are lousy sprinters yeah they would run us down yeah so i mean you can try to outrun it with endurance but it's probably just gonna catch you and yeah that's like that's you Yeah that's a pretty Crap way of determining
Starting point is 01:07:47 Like well through endurance That's like me when I try to make myself feel better About being terrible at something Well actually endurance wise I'd be able to outrun you Yeah okay but it's not going to matter If you're already dead you idiot Humans are extremely efficient at being inefficient
Starting point is 01:08:03 When you think about it Yeah Um you idiot humans are extremely efficient at being inefficient yeah yep um so there you go feet bones all right well what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day so um let's see let me do a quick check here otherwise we're gonna go with this one all right uh today this week uh uh anything good here nope nope there's meth man again from last week everyone loves a good meth man yep yep yep um p-R-S-P-A. Wait, what? Hold on. What is this?
Starting point is 01:08:51 Florida swim practice canceled by alligator at bottom of pool. But it says it's a rival team spy alligator. What? Whoa. Whoa. What? Okay. Oh, this is getting wild.
Starting point is 01:09:11 Yeah. A swim practice in Florida took a wild turn on Friday when a team went to jump in the water at Mont Verde Academy and found an alligator at the bottom of the pool. According to the sheriff's deputies posted the three foot gator that was caught saying the animal had decided to try out for the swim team. Deputies say they were able to use a safety hook to remove the alligator, put tape around its mouth
Starting point is 01:09:35 and took him to be released. Neither the alligator nor the deputies were hurt. The academy many people left comments on the Facebook post saying they should have kept the little guy there I wonder if they have charged
Starting point is 01:09:51 him resisting arrest this doesn't say anything about a spy gator do we get suckered into another terrible news article yeah what the spy gator if you type in spy gator What the... Yeah, what the... Spy Gator. If you type in Spy Gator and a real article pops up,
Starting point is 01:10:11 I'm going to lose my mind. I see there's an alligator with a magnifying glass cartoon. That's pretty fun. I think we got scammed. Yeah, they lied. This is dumb. Okay. I wanted to be like like the rival team hated this school and they left their spider there yeah that would have been a great story yeah that's what i was expecting that's stupid um so we're just gonna read about this giant porcupine puppet well all
Starting point is 01:10:41 right giant porcupine puppet provides quills and thrills at Los Angeles Park. The puppet, named Percy, has a circumference of 40 feet and 2,000 foam quills that it took a house worth of paint to put stripes on. Look at this thing. It is wild. Yo, what the hell? That thing's amazing looking. Yeah, it is crazy. And he's a giant puppet, so he moves.
Starting point is 01:11:08 That's like in video games where you go like the great animal spirit and he's like, I've arrived. Yeah, it's Turtle Pope is what it is. Yeah, it's Turtle Pope. Except Porcupine Pope. Yeah, except Porcupine. Pee-pee as they call him. Percy. Kids love pee-pee.
Starting point is 01:11:23 Percy, a porcupine puppet of prodigious. Percy, the porcupine pope. Pee-pee-pee they call him. The kids love pee-pee. Percy, a porcupine puppet of prodigious... Percy, the porcupine puppet, pee-pee-pee. The triple P. It's like triple D, but he's like the rival of Guy Fieri. I'm here for it. Emerged from her giant stump home for an audience of school children and media members. The adorable beast inspired oohs and ahhs as she blinked her droopy eyes and opened her mouth to show
Starting point is 01:11:48 her buck teeth, standing nearly two stories tall with a nose the size of a Volkswagen. Ha ha ha! A joint project of the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance and Jim Henson's Creature Shop. Percy was let out to celebrate
Starting point is 01:12:03 next week's opening of the zoo, whose new wildlife explorer's base came. Six months in the planning, the puppet is modeled on the prehensile-tailed porcupine native to South America. Dude, do these exist? Not that big. I don't know. It says prehensile-tailed porcupine.
Starting point is 01:12:22 That could be the first form. You know, like in the museum, there's like sloths and they're like eight feet tall. Are you telling me that you think in South America there are giant porcupines? We don't know. There could be. There's some crazy shit down there. I mean, you're not wrong. You're not wrong.
Starting point is 01:12:40 They probably try to go deep into the jungle. That's where they live. That's where they'd kill you. Why would he kill me? He looks like a cutie pie. You to go deep into the jungle. That's where they live. That's where they'd kill you. Why would he kill me? He's looking at PewDiePie. You went too deep into the jungle. Oh, and I learned the secrets. You're right. You can't learn the secrets. The pre-insiled tale that
Starting point is 01:12:56 gives the tree-dwelling, fruit-eating species its name exists in this case in the imagination only. Just the front half exists and pokes out, and the rest appearing to stay safely inside the log. It's essentially based on a big inflatable with the addition of a mouth jaw and mechanical eyes.
Starting point is 01:13:12 A real pre-insiled tailed porcupine was at the scene. The porcupine got lost before emerging in her giant puppet form after the kids brought out bunches of bananas to lure her. Wait, do porcupines like bananas? I guess we learned that now. Huh.
Starting point is 01:13:30 Quote, I think she's getting close. I think I know just the thing for her, base camp performer Jennifer Popagain said before bringing out a giant banana of her own. That's a fun last name, Popagain. Popagain. Percy Popagain the porcupine. Percy Popagain the porcupine percy pop again the porcupine
Starting point is 01:13:46 uh the kids counted down pope ppp the kids counted down then mobbed percy once she emerged oh my god i mean that's the image it looks like it yeah uh another media stop percy will make her way down the coast to her permanent home at the San Diego Zoo. Wildlife Explorers Base Camp's 3.2 acre area of zoo intended to teach families about the interactions and the interdependence of humans, plants, animals, and their habitats. Have you ever been to the San Diego Zoo? No, I have not. Isn't that like the biggest zoo or something? Oh, it's great.
Starting point is 01:14:21 It's a great zoo. It's huge. It's a lot of walking, but it's very cool. That still sounds fun. I'd go now just to see Percy. That's what I'm saying. Now I'm like, do we make a trek to go see? All I'm saying is TwitchCon is happening.
Starting point is 01:14:36 And instead of going to TwitchCon, PercyCon. We invite everyone to go see Percy and we just make it a trek. I like it. That sounds good. That's the news. Okay, well, that's it for us.
Starting point is 01:14:55 Thank you so much for listening, watching, and have a joy. What did I just say? Have a joy. However you're enjoying this show, boy, can I say, while you were telling me about Percy, I ate one of these candies, and I think that's what's doing it to me. I think it is. Sour candy is messing up my speech. It's got to be. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:12 Well, that's it. Crendor. Hit us with the socials. We got socials. You can go to youtube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. All one word. See all these episodes dating back to forever ago. You can also find us on Spotify,
Starting point is 01:15:28 iTunes, SoundCloud, and wherever else podcasts are. Also, go to youtube.com slash cox and Crendor. No podcast part at the end if you want to see all the animations. You can follow our own stuff. youtube.com slash jessicox, youtube.com slash Crendor, Twitch jessicox, Twitch
Starting point is 01:15:44 Crendor, Patreon jessicox, Patreon Crendor, Facebook jessicox youtube.com slash crendor twitch jessicox twitch crendor patreon jessicox patreon crendor facebook jessicox facebook crendor twitter jessicox twitter crendor instagram notoriouscox instagram crendor was taken and there's probably some other stuff well that's it we'll see y'all next time I don't know why I said it
Starting point is 01:15:59 I'm afraid I'm gonna slur my speech I'm trying I'm like I'm small mouthing this whole thing I'm like well thatur my speech. I'm trying, I'm like, I'm small-mouthing this whole thing. I'm like, well, that's it. Alright. We'll see y'all next time. And as always, to be continued.

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